Thursday, June 30, 2016

The Big 3: Those long and lonely "Suburban Knights"


(Scene fades into James & Eliza in ORAC’s chamber)

Eliza Dushku: Wow, that first review was very informative to your beginning. Swore like a sailor and had a bit of an anger problem, didn’t ya.

TLOTA: You don’t know the half of it, I’d been through a lot during that time. I buried my grandmother, I was heartbroken because this girl I wanted was getting married, hell everyone around me was in a relationship and I was and unfortunately I am still single I was in the mood more to rip something apart. Kickassia was the only thing that was so bad I felt I needed to go at it like a Tiger after an Antelope. Fortunately, between my review of Kickassia and my review Suburban Knights which is next I was more on Facebook than Myspace, befriended Chris Lee Moore “The Rowdy Reviewer” and I mellowed out and things while not exactly as great as it should be it’s getting better.

Eliza Dushku: Okay so that answers some questions, but where did the intro line and exit line come from again?

ORAC: A Wrestling Promoter named Jim Cornette as his shoot editorial promotions he did while employed to what is now called World Wrestling Entertainment became popular on Youtube.

TLOTA: ORAC, she was talking to me. But yeah that’s the long and short of it. Anything else you find interesting?

Eliza Dushku: Yeah, you have a Presidential Academic Achievement Award when you graduated. Awesome. Oh wait it was from George W. Bush.

TLOTA: He wasn’t that bad a President.

ORAC: Alert! The Second Review is about to begin!

Eliza Dushku: We’ll talk later, review first!

TLOTA: Okay ORAC. Play my review of “Suburban Knights”! (The two fade to black as we cut to overhead panning shots of Washington DC as “Drebin Hero!” Plays in the background until it goes to a still of the White House and inside a private office James sits with the President.)

President Obama: So you understand now don’t you? (Cut to James sitting regrettably close to Obama)

TLOTA: Yes Mr. President, you were just trying to force the Nostalgia Critic out of Molossia in order to make him pay for the treason. (Cut to President Obama)

President Obama: Now that has been cleared up… (Audio of “Go Go Power Rangers” is heard as it cuts to James)

TLOTA: One moment Mr. President. My Cell Phone. (James answers his phone) Yes! (Sped up audio is heard) Whoa, ho hey John Slow it down! (Sped Up Audio is heard) The Third Year Anniversary Special from ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com is up? (Sped up Audio is heard.) Okay, I’m on my way! (James walks out of the private office as he changes out of his fancy clothes and into his regular ones as “Mission Impossible” sound-alike plays in the background.) I.G., I.G. this is NY4Life, proceed with Operation “It’s Morphin’ Time”, repeat Operation “It’s Morphin’ Time” is a go!

Irate Gamer (Audio only): Roger that but AW SHEE-IT, how the hell do I operate this thing and which end of the gun… (A Silenced shot is heard then a dull thud)

TLOTA: God Damn it. Rowdy C, Rowdy C commence with Operation “It’s Morphin’ Time”, repeat We are good to go with Operation “It’s Morphin’ Time”

Rowdy (Audio only): Roger that, what happened to the Irate Gamer.

TLOTA: Knowing him, he blew his own brains out.

Rowdy (Audio only): DIDN’T I TELL YOU NOT TO HIRE HIM?!

TLOTA: Yes.

(Cut to James walking out the front of the White House as he enters his ride and a gunshot is heard as “The Naked Gun Theme” plays in the background and the scene cuts to a rear projected car and James is behind the wheel passing famous moments in driving pop culture even driving in the “Return Of The Jedi” Death Star until James winds up home stepping out of his ride and his cell phone rings.)

TLOTA: Hey, how’s it going? (James nods and goes Mm-Hmm several times) So the President is safe and Insano has been shot through the head. Man I love it when a plan comes together. (James walks out of his ride before cutting to James in his room a half hour later.)

TLOTA: I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. Well after seeing Kickassia last year, I thought I was right as to how bad it was and after seeing it a few more times, I can honestly say it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. (Cut to clips of “Kickassia” as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): I mean granted it’s not Shakespeare but it could’ve been worse and trust me for their Dollar Store Budget it was fairly funny and at times more entertaining than it was when I saw it the first time and I decided to put my faith in the people from Channel Awesome and ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com on them doing better next time. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: Thank god I did because we got something incredible. A thousand times better than its predecessor called “Suburban Knights”.  (Cut to the title card of Suburban Knights before cutting to clips of the movie while James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): I guess they decided to put effort into the work and it shows. The story has great twists and turns, the acting is lightyears better than last year’s special. The plot is solid. Basically everything that they did wrong in “Kickassia” they got right here. However unlike last year when I took that apart I did it. I’m going to break this down in the parts it came out in. (Cut to James physically.)

TLOTA: So let’s not waste anytime let’s go through the multiple parts of “Suburban Knights” (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): So Part one begins down a long and lonesome highway, east of Omaha as Bill & Ted’s Lovechild drives on aimlessly when he meets up with a guy dressed in Black heading on down the Highway. Where is the guy dressed in Black going?

Malachite: Chicago (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: If it’s to kick The Nostalgia Critic’s ass for Kickassia. I’ll direct ya to his house myself. (Cut to Malachite giving his “Anti-techno” speech)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Wow sounds like one of the Baku from “Star Trek Insurrection” at any rate our driver is confused as to how to respond and is killed point blank range and The Anti-Technite walks away when he looks back to see the driver’s car blow up. After our Opening credits which look remarkable we find Angry Joe walking down the sidewalk claiming he’s won a car. I’m just going to let the Admiral say it. (Cut to a clip of Admiral Ackbar from “Return Of The Jedi” shouting “It’s A Trap!” before cutting back to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Angry Joe finds out a minute too late and takes it with his usual aplomb! (Angry Joe shouts NO! Multiple times before crying “Let me guess, you guys are promised a free car too! But there is no car is there. It’s the Nostalgia Critic again isn’t it. D’OH!” before James continues with his voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Realizing he’s trapped like a rat with a half-starved, crazed cat Angry Joe and the rest of those that were in Kickassia except for two new faces of Obscurus Lupa and Todd In The Shadows and the loss of “Lee” from “Still Gaming” and “LordKat” wait for the Nostalgia Critic’s entrance as it appears he has a videotape and a map. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: For those who happen to be my nieces age a videotape is a rectangular block that held copies of movies or TV Shows that you could watch over & over again. But enough of the history lesson. (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): As Film Brain picks up from the last movie to be the suck-up lackey of the Nostalgia Critic a new face joins our group Luke Mochrie! Whose dad was on a show about Improv I think. But I digress the whole crew watches a news report on Chuck Jaffers and his obsession with “Dungeons & Dragons” had led him to find an Artifact called “Malachite’s Hand” which was a gauntlet and his eventual disappearance. But the Critic found the clue to find The Gauntlet as get this… A map that doubles as a Role Playing Game. Okay, that sounds kind of cool and could lead to possible funny interpretations of interesting characters. But learning from the mistakes from the past everyone makes like Atoms, Bananas & Celebrity couples and Split! However rather than being fired, they go along against their will to be back at the Critic’s place 8 A.M. tomorrow and in costume. That night, as the Nostalgia Critic prepares for the quest Ma-Ti pops by to see if he can join the group. But The Nostalgia Critic has a silver tongue and sends Ma-Ti on a Bullshit side mission. The next morning The Nostalgia Critic is ready to go as Link from “The Legend Of Zelda”, Angry Joe is Inigo Montoya from “The Princess Bride”, Linkara is King Arthur from the musical “Camelot”, The Nostalgia Chick is Arwen from “The Lord Of The Rings”, Benzaie is Conan The Arnold Schwarzenegger Barbarian, Sage is Aslan from “Narnia”, Phelous is The Rockbiter from “The Neverending Story”, Marzgurl is Princess Mononoke, both Luke & Film Brain dress up as Harry Potter, Cinema Snob is Indiana Jones, Obscurus Lupa is “Snow White”, 8-Bit Mickey is Peter Pan, Paw is Profion as played by Jeremy Irons from the Dungeons & Dragons movie, Todd In The Shadows is The Dread Pirate Roberts from “The Princess Bride” Handsome Tom is…. (Handsome Tom says “I’m Willow” before cutting to James physically saying RIIIIIIIGHT! Before returning to the movie as James continues his voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Anyway where was I? Oh yeah one more uh JewWario I think he’s called yeah he’s here as Jareth The Goblin King from “Labyrinth” as portrayed by David Bowie and yes ladies he’s sporting the package. As part one comes to an end, everyone splits into two groups one led by The Critic and the other led by Spoony and Ma-Ti shows up and everyone finds a way to B.S. him away out of this thing. As we see somewhere in the mix three people in Cloaks start their hunt for something. As Part two begins We see the Critic’s team comes into a Forest Preserve in which they come upon their first challenge keeping Linkara from turning this thing into a musical and coming upon a cat creature that looks like something even d-level Muppets look and laugh at. But the Cat Creature’s operator is so tough it renders Lupa Unconscious, turns everyone except the Nostalgia Chick into Three Stooges victims but the Nostalgia Chick enters the Fray as she… (Cut to The Nostalgia Chick’s Arwen Montage with James’s voice whispering by the end of it “Eau De Awesome” available on the Channel Awesome Store’s website!) Eventually he’s foiled and everyone tries to revive Lupa but she wakes up on her own and breaks character enough to rip The Nostalgia Critic a new one. Well at least The Critic didn’t say “WELL EXCUUSE ME PRINCESS!”

Nostalgia Critic: WELL EXCUUSE ME PRINCESS! (Cut to James as he has his hand on his forehead)

TLOTA: Why do I tempt fucking fate?! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): So as we catch up with Spoony’s team we notice some tension between Luke & Film Brain as the rest of the team discover the Cloaked figures from the end of the first part of this thing. Spoony tries to use his intelligent magisense to thwart them. (Spoony says his Wizard Speech then tosses a packet of Bird Seed and says “Two Magic” and repeats it before cutting to James physically with his Jaw hitting the ground as the moment repeats and James says “No, No, NO!” in the middle of it before Spoony says “Two Magic” before cutting to James physically.)

TLOTA: No! That doesn’t bear repeating! That was THE SINGLE DUMBEST FUCKING MOVE YOU COULD DO! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): I mean MY GOD! There is nothing that can top that level of stupidity, not one Reb Brown movie that could make me or you forget this moment. You did it Spoony! You made the Dumbest move in this movie, nothing will compare! (Cut to Spoony doing the “Two Magic” shtick before cutting to Spoony’s face on a Starchild with the words “You Have Achieved Stupidity!” and James saying in a Slow motion God voice “MY GOD WAS THAT STUPID!” before cutting back to the movie as Spoony tries to explain what he was doing before the sky turns black before cutting to James’ place to see the sky has gone black there.)

TLOTA: Okay according to my watch it is 8:45 in the morning but it looks like 8:45 at night, will you excuse me for one moment. (James walks out of his room and heads towards the window to see the black sky and lightning bolts and thunder striking) OH FUCK! (Cut to the Outside of James’ house as it looks like darkness has enveloped the entire sky and Lightning and Thunder strike)

Gozer (Audio only): SUB CREATURES! GOZER THE GOZERIAN, GOZER THE DESTRUCTOR, VOLGUUS ZILDROHAR THE TRAVELER HAS COME! (Cut to James looking outside before covering up the curtains and walking backwards back into his room.)

TLOTA: Well Spoony, you just unleashed Gozer and The Apocalypse! GREAT JOB ROCKET! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): But I think he knows he’s in trouble as he smartly bolts like hell out of there. However, Joe & Paw ready to stand their ground as the Center Cloak readies a Dragon Ball Z Energy Sphere. Of course we all know what happens Joe or Paw hit the sphere like a baseball and incapacitate the Cloaks find the Gauntlet and be on their merry little wa… (The Energy Sphere is unleashed passing Spoony’s team and exploding on impact before cutting to James feeling the explosion.)

TLOTA: WHOA! (Cut to the movie)

Joe & Paw: HOLY SHIT! (Cut to James physically and pointing to Joe and Paw)

TLOTA: TOOK THE WORDS OUT OF MY MOUTH! (Cut to the Movie)

Todd: WET YOURSELVES AND RUN! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE! RUN AWAY! (James shouts RUN AWAY multiple times as the camera stays on a cartoonish cutout of James in a wall as sounds of destruction and chaos is heard in the background! Before cutting to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): So yeah if you haven’t soiled your underwear in total and undeniable fear part two ends with Spoony’s team hotfooting it out of there with the Cloaks in pursuit and our Anti-Technite watching! Part three begins with Nostalgia Critic’s team having traveled a long time and finding a chair in the middle of nowhere and the Critic claiming it and everyone else resting when someone notices something big. Unfortunately, I think in The Critic’s zeal he forgot to put on the Shorts to the costume because everyone can see his tighty whites and his junk! Fortunately, Lupa shows The Critic to tuck it back when bending over. (Cut to James physically looking distraught and shaking in disgust.)

TLOTA: Haven’t seen anything THIS disturbing since… (Cut to a still with a Donkey’s head covering up Tommy Wiseau’s ass & junk in “The Room” as James shouts “YOWZA! SHOW THAT AGAIN AND SOMEONE WILL HAVE A DATE WITH A CHAINSAW!” before cutting to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): In the meanwhile, Ma-Ti finds The Critic’s team again and what does The Critic do to Bullshit him out of the way?

Nostalgia Critic: Mickey has Erectile Dysfunction!

8-Bit Mickey: WHAT?! (Cut to James spit take from a bottle of water!)

TLOTA: DUDE! NOT COOL! YOU DON’T EMASCULATE SOMEONE YOU CALL A FRIEND! ISN’T THAT IN LIKE THE BRO CODE OR SOMETHING? I don’t watch “How I Met Your Mother” that often. (Cut to the movie as The Nostalgia Critic as he further humiliates 8-Bit Mickey and saying he’s in pain about it before pausing on a still of 8-Bit Mickey’s face)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Actually by the look in 8-Bit Mickey’s face it’s saying “That’s not cool dude!” (Cut to the moment The Nostalgia Critic further emasculates 8-Bit Mickey by saying Mickey is into Goats before cutting to another moment in which Mickey looks pissed before pausing on a still of 8-Bit Mickey’s face.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Actually by the look in 8-Bit Mickey’s face it’s saying “Sleep well, because next time we meet, your ass is beyond grass, it is nonexistent! You will rest in the most painful & diabolical fucking way I can think of!” (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): So after Mickey has been humiliated like no man SHOULD! We soon discover the anonymous source of the map is behind a Chain letter!

Team “N.C.”: A CHAIN LETTER?!!

TLOTA (Voiceover): Before they can actively kill the Critic, Mickey probably more so than everyone else a voice in the woods scares them before asking three questions and finding out the voice behind it is their resident Bum. Back with Spoony’s team, they’re still on the run until they find the perfect battlefield for a group of man boys and woman girls, A park playground. But to this movie’s credit this fight is well choreographed, musically it could use a hand. (The theme from “History Of The World Part 1” is heard as the two groups fight save for the moments with Indiana Snob’s fighting moments when it is necessary.) but the fight is stopped as a mother wants her daughter to use the playground and as they look for a new playground battlefield Spoony’s team leave the Cloaks in the dust and as Part 3 ends Team Spoony continue on their way and leave the map in the path behind them! Part 4 begins with the Nostalgia Critic’s team coming upon a witch in their path to stop them and they being the Rocket Scientists taunt her which ends up… well… (Cut to the moment the Nostalgia Critic getting his hand grabbed and the witch’s eyes turning red as James does the “ZUUL, MOTHAFUCKA ZUUL!” demonic sound as The Nostalgia Critic screams before she screams and James shouts “ZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUL” until the light fades and The Witch Warrior says “Neat Huh?” before cutting to James.)

TLOTA: Yeah, that was neat how you scared the living fucking daylights out of them and me. So badly I need to go back to diapers! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): When The Critic let slip out the existence of the Chain Letter, the Witch Warrior decides to vaporize them until Tom hits her with mace! As they return to their quest. A woman with a cell phone finds the map and our Anti-Technite… (a bolt of fire lightning strikes the girl with the cell phone down.) reduces her down to a smoldering crater! Meanwhile Spoony discovers that he lost the map but remembers a riddle about picking up a stone and saying give me light. Luke and Film Brain try to find out which way to go when our Anti-Technite who should reduce them down to sub-atomic molecules gives them back to the map. When from out of nowhere, the Cloaks pop up and pull out a gun. Remembering Angry Joe likes to use guns Angry Joe whips his out to wipe the Cloaks off the map. But in the middle of the fracas Film Brain gets left behind in the lurch. As part four ends Film Brain is found by the Cloaks and is hypnotized into being one of them. (Cloak no. 1 says “One of Us” very hypnotically before cutting to a clip from “Clerks: The Animated Series” where Jay, Silent Bob and The Pinheads say “One Of Us! One Of Us! TEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE!” Before cutting to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Part five starts with the Nostalgia Critic’s team coming into a house which doesn’t belong to any of them which is breaking & entering. When Ma-Ti magically appears and has had nearly enough but the Nostalgia Critic decides to give Ma-Ti something SO Stupid it lets Ma-Ti Down. After another Arwen Enchantment/Perfume Ad the team find a book with spells and enchantments. After reading a passage, they unleash Chuck Jaffers and that sets off Malachite’s Magisense! Yes, finally after all this time we know who the Anti-Technite’s name is and Chuck tells his story in the same voice it would sound like if The squeaky voiced teen from The Simpsons had a love child with Rick Moranis! But thinking that the Nostalgia Critic’s team is up to nothing good, he decides to wipe them off the face of the earth! Meanwhile back with the Cloaks we discover Film Brain fits in with them as much as Mel Gibson fits in with a UNCF function! So rather than killing him they just leave him in the lurch as much as his old team mates do. But Team Spoony do eventually find him and reverse the damage the Cloaks did to Film Brain’s brain. Back at Jaffer’s place Malachite finds the guy who was guarding Jaffer’s stuff and promptly rips the poor dude’s heart out LITERALLY! Back with the Nostalgia Critic he’s fed up and somewhere in his ranting he comes to the realization that Malachite was the one behind the whole was and Spoony and his team are in danger because Malachite is tracking them through the map. The Nostalgia Critic gets everybody moving when one last obstacle stands in their way which is disguised by That Dude In The Suede after tapping his sword Suede joins the Nostalgia Critic’s team, ending part five. Part six picks up with Team Spoony finding a house with a woman in there. Being smart as the exec who greenlit “Cop Rock” She lets them in and they quickly duct tape her to the couch and head to the basement. There they meet up with “That Guy With The Glasses” and he leads them to the voice of the Ancient World played by James Rolfe and we get Malachite’s Backstory and to the movie’s credit it does tell the story behind Malachite rather well. Not being Rock Stupid The voice decides they cannot find the gauntlet and leaves. However, “That Guy With The Glasses” tells the team where the gauntlet is on a note.

Film Brain: OH YOU’VE

Nostalgia Chick: GOT TO BE

Todd In The Shadows: FUCKING!

Nostalgia Critic: KIDDING ME!

TLOTA (Voiceover): That’s right, where their journey began is where it will end. And just as the Critic grabs the gauntlet Jaffers arrive to kill them but Phelous makes short work of the dude and they discover the gem had been placed onto a Power Glove. Finally getting Jaffers pissed off he summons his other obstacles leading to the Nostalgia Critic giving his most epic speech ever. (Nostalgia Critic gives his speech then cut to James standing and giving an awesome thunderous applause and intercut with every single epic applause from movies before cutting back to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): And so begins the most awesome battle since the first year brawl! The only thing missing is an epic brawl for something like this. I’ll fill that in. (The long instrumental of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme done by Chuck Lorre and Dennis Brown are placed in where there is no music.) Just when it looks like Jaffers might have the upper hand Spoony and his team comes in for the rescue! While that’s happening, Suede discovers the Gem from the Gauntlet. But the victory is short lived part six ends with Malachite looking at everyone on the field and the look on his face says it all. “You’re the Lambs, I am here for your slaughter!”. Our finale begins with Spoony admitting he kept the map with him. The Critic handles it well. (The Nostalgia Critic chides Spoony and yells “That’s how’s he’s been tracking us!”) An SUV tries to hit him head on and it gets obliterated on impact. After seeing that Phelous handles the fact that everyone there is screwed rather well.

Phelous: Oh This is gonna suck! 

TLOTA (Voiceover): Two of the Cloaks attack head on and are thwarted without even landing a blow. Jaffers comes face to face with Malachite one last time and gets launched into geosynchronistic orbit! The third Cloak is revealed to be The Last Angry Geek and he says “Screw this, I’m out of here!”. The Witch Warrior and The Guy with the Cat Creature are engulfed in an exploding flame without even a chance in hell! And just as you think Malachite won’t get his gauntlet back, by the power of the force he gets it back and then uses the power of it to make the Critic nail himself in the Po-pos, multiple times! Linkara tries to shoot his magic gun and he just absorbs the power of the shots. Joe and Lupa try to fill him with lead but all the shots don’t even touch him! Spoony tries the bird seed trick and well… (Spoony is flicked into orbit before cutting to James physically.)

TLOTA: Well Bye Spoony, see you in St. Louis! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): 8-Bit Mickey, Nostalgia Chick and Bennett try to attack and fail. As does Indiana Snob and the Critic one more time but fail and just when the Critic and everyone else think it’s the end Malachite shows his hypocrisy as he reveals he has an IPhone and a works at a coffee shop! After that Malachite plans on finally killing them all off when Ma-Ti pissed off at everyone, even Malachite and while The Nostalgia Critic can be an asshole, I think even he wouldn’t want to see Ma-Ti be destroyed by Malachite. But Ma-Ti puts his ring on which turns out to be The Ring Of Aeon and the two duke it out with their Powers. (The moment when Ma-Ti shouts “Eat…MY HEART!” and the powers collide to their maximum and the moment at 2:33 mark until the ending of “Under Pressure” by Queen & David Bowie is heard as the scene cuts to a montage of every Internet personality including The Nostalgia Critic doing his intro, The Angry Video Game Nerd drinking a Rolling Rock, Rowdy C reviewing a show and many other personas in the Reviewerverse and Internet on Youtube and other video sharing sites before cutting to a slow motion pic of Malachite and Ma-Ti being blown away by the energy colliding and Malachite’s hat falling to the ground and everyone cheers.) In that moment Ma-Ti defeated Malachite, but at what cost… (The Nostalgia Critic Comforts Ma-Ti in his dying moments.) So…Yeah, Ma-Ti died and is cremated and put in a canister of Oatmeal with Handsome Tom tossing the remains into Outer Space. After that everyone returns to their work as for the Critic, the pain of Ma-Ti’s death lingers in him and Linkara comes by to talk to the Critic and talks about the Necronomicon and well… I’m just gonna let The Brigadier General Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart say what needs to be said. (Cut to a clip of The Third Doctor’s regeneration as Brigadier General Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart says “Well, here we go again!” before cutting back to clips of “Suburban Knights” as James does a voiceover the clips)

TLOTA (Voiceover): So that was Suburban Knights and for what it was worth it was amazing. The story was amazing, the plot moved along at a great pace. The acting is leagues better than Kickassia and the character development was incredible and for all the problems I had with Kickassia, I feel relieved they were able to correct those problems and do justice to themselves and this amazing film. The second it’s available, get it on DVD. It’s worth the money to see what independent film makers can do that’s on the scale of a Hollywood movie. (Cut to James Physically.)

TLOTA: I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans & That’s My opinion! (Scene fades to black)