(Scene begins with a smartwatch screen and a finger as it taps the screen, and the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand as it taps an app on his phone, as it opens a portal.)
(It cuts to James and the characters he’s played until it cut to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans'” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun and the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces. The credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca and Nick Yaun” are shown, then slide away to different images of Doug Yaun and Crosslyn Castillo, Nick Lopez and Jessica Lopez-Barkl, and the characters they’ve played, until it cuts to their faces.)
(After that, the credits “Doug Yaun and Crosslyn Castillo, Nick Lopez and Jessica Lopez-Barkl” are shown, as it then slides away to different images of Andrew Beach, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, and Olivia Horvath. Following this, the credits of “Andrew Beach, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” are shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays.)
(Everything becomes a swirl of reds, whites, and blues, as the credits “Produced by First Choice Entertainment Productions in association with Manic-Expression.com"; “Executive Producers: James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Olivia Horvath”; “Editing by Eric Kurtzke and James Faraci”; “Written and Directed by James Faraci” are shown, as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays.)
(We then see an image of James as he jumps through the portal and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a black background. Finally, the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays.)
(Cut to James in his office)
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, the views I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. (Cut to the opening of TV Trash where Rowdy opens the episode with “Welcome to TV Trash!” Cut to clips of “TV Trash” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
For fifteen years with barely any break, my buddy Rowdy has taken on the best of the worst when it comes to... well... TV Trash! Sometimes it’s an episode of a series that was not that good, or let’s face it a series that had no right to last as long as it did or even as short as it did or even when it was a bad made for tv movie and today, we celebrate the best reviewer that deserves to be given recognition, respect, and the long standing break he has MORE than earned by peers. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
So let’s get started by counting my ten favorite episodes “TV Trash!” (Cut to the differences in the introduction of “TV Trash” over the fifteen years, then to the latest title card of “TV Trash” and the words “The top ten episodes of” on top of the “TV Trash” Logo, then the words fade away. The number appears on the screen as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Number Ten
(Cut to the Title card of “Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation” and arrows point to the title as the word “ABOMINATION” over the words “The Next Mutation.” Cut to the TV Trash “Ninja Turtles The Next Mutation” episode as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
I know putting this one on the bottom of the list might be upsetting to the longtime fans of the series, but watching “Abomination” made me pine for the days of “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III” and the “Red Sky” years! This also makes the list because he had to talk about this series...TWICE! He appeared on “TV Trash” and was featured in a Ninja Turtles Retrospective, and he was very thorough in what was wrong with the show both times around! An abomination of the Ninja Turtles legacy that had to get a double review. Heaven help those who thought the series was worth the purchase because they missed the mark on what my friend was trying to warn you about!
(Cut to the TV seen on “TV Trash”, the number appearing on the screen as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Number Nine
(Cut to the title card of “Heil Honey I’m Home!” and arrows point to the title. Cut to the TV Trash “Heil Honey I’m Home” episode as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Yes, Virginia, it is real, and it exists, and the fact that I had to constantly see it doesn’t make it less painful. The fact that Rowdy had to sit through this one episode, and it was painful enough for him to lose his cool multiple times, including when he tempts fate as Hitler happens to have Jewish Neighbors! And the episode’s plotz? The Warsaw Pact is being negotiated with Neville Chamberlain, and meanwhile, the Goldensteins have a niece trying to play matchmaker. Eva Braun also reveals that Neville is single and is coming to Germany. How do I know about this? I had to use this sitcom as a reference while doing a college course in Intercultural Communication and it was also mentioned in test audience results for a Game Show Pilot which was such a failure, that the audience would’ve rather watched THIS instead of a that series continues from the failed Game Show Pilot. Which led me back to watching this review and the one episode that made it to air! And Rowdy was in the same pain I was having to endure this nightmare. (Show clip of Rowdy shouting “THIS SHOW IS GOD AWFUL!” Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
Dude, you were being too easy on how bad this was! And the fact that more episodes will never see the light of day may be the best thing for our sanity.
(Cut to the tv seen on “TV Trash”, the number appearing on the screen as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Number Eight
(Cut to the TV Trash “GLEE” episodes as James does a voiceover.)
8) “GLEE”
TLOTA (V.O.):
Which season? Yes! All of them had their ups and downs, with more downs, especially following the indictments, career failures, and the passing of several cast members. While the music covers and originals they do are not too hard to digest, it does show the weaknesses and strengths of the cast of performers. Hell, look up Darren Criss “Don’t Stop Me Now” and you’ll likely find a reference to the Cornetto trilogy leader “Shaun Of The Dead.” And of course, due to the critical polarization, Rowdy had to sit through ALL the seasons of the show. Having to see Sue Sylvester evolve and de-evolve with every plot she came up with. As a matter of fact, I had to watch an episode of the final season, and it had Sue hypnotize someone, and it just so happened that I was with someone, and once Sue did the hypnotism, that person started to cluck and act like a chicken for an entire weekend! But still, after all the problems that were behind the scenes were revealed, people are going to have to talk about this series on eggshells! Something Rowdy has learned about the works of Murphy, Falchuk, Brennan, and their company!
TLOTA (V.O.):
Number Seven
(Cut to the TV Trash “The Jim Henson Tribute” episode as James does a voiceover.)
7) The Jim Henson Tribute
TLOTA (V.O.):
While he admitted that it wasn’t one of his finest episodes, to me, any episode that gives The Muppets a moment to shine is worthy of my time and yours. This tribute episode came out on Muppets Wish Day and highlighted several of the classic series, like “Sesame Street.” “The Muppet Show,” “Muppet Babies,” and “Fraggle Rock” gave us some highlights as to how these shows are better than most of the shows that are out there right now and how we need to give them the respect they deserve. (Cut to “The Muppets Wizard Of Oz” TV Trash episode as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
While something like the TV Trash episode “The Muppets Wizard Of Oz” does highlight the problems currently hurting The Muppets, including the Shutting Down of “MuppetVision in 3D,” and believe me, that is an issue that will not be discussed. (Cut to the TV Trash “The Jim Henson Tribute” episode as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
For now, if you’re looking for what made The Muppets iconic in the first place. Check this out, and then read my review of all the Muppets movies. Next, watch both the series mentioned here and the movies!
(Cut to the TV seen on “TV Trash”, the number appearing on the screen as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Number Six
(Cut to the TV Trash “Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Season Six” episode as James does a voiceover.)
6) Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Season Six
TLOTA (V.O.):
At the time of this post, Ashleigh Burton is just about wrapped up reacting to this season of Buffy The Vampire Slayer and is most likely regretting watching this season. Well, if I could’ve, I would have sent Ashleigh this review as a warning of what she was getting herself into! Because as someone who sat through this in its original run and in syndication, watching this season was the same as willingly deciding to go back to the days of the Inquisition and say to the Marquis De Sade, “PLEASE, stretch me on a rack, put me in the Iron Maiden, do whatever you want to me! Just don’t let me see “Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season Six”! This TV Trash episode was just the right reminder of how HORRENDOUS this season was. Pray for Ashleigh because she has already reached this level of frustration with “Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season Six”!
(Show clip of “TV Trash” Buffy The Vampire Slayer season six episode as Rowdy is crying “Why?” repeatedly and banging his head on the table behind him and saying “Ow!” Cut to the tv seen on “TV Trash” The number appearing on the screen as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Number Five
(Cut to the TV Trash “Charlie Brown All Stars!” episode as James does a voiceover.)
5) “Charlie Brown All Stars!”
TLOTA (V.O.):
Rowdy had a long run with dealing with the specials from Charles Schultz’s “Peanuts” crew, but for my money, this one took a cake that not even “It’s your first kiss, Charlie Brown!” could hold! While it showed what it was like for Charlie to be the only one on his own team to be enthusiastic about playing the game, while everyone else hopes that Charlie Brown will wind up just calling it a career. The idea is that Charlie Brown’s team has about as much luck as the New York Jets. In other words, if they win, it's a fluke, and it will not happen again. But what makes this episode worthy of this list is in the third act of the review as Rowdy suffers all the same slings and arrows all us fans suffer when the inevitable happens, and well... yeah, we all have a similar reaction, but not like this one!
(Cut to the clip of Rowdy shouting, then hitting the floor, crying “Why?!” multiple times. Cut to Cecil and Perkins as Perkins says “Whoa, didn’t think he’d take it so hard!” and Cecil replies “Compared to the tantrum he threw after the world series, this is nothing!” Cut to the TV seen on “TV Trash” The number appearing on the screen as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Number Four
(Cut to the TV Trash “Superman Timeline” episode as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Released just as Rowdy had to leave the Apartment he had started “TV Trash” in, Rowdy had to restart at a new place. With a new place he started a new segment called "TV Timeline”. He started with something somewhat topical at the time, Superman, more specifically the 2013 “Man Of Steel” movie and how that movie was the latest evolution point, at that time, of Superman's character, even though everyone thought it was the wrong way to evolve the character (myself included). Still, the evolution began far back with the advent of television and the George Reeves “The Adventures of Superman” series, which helped continue the legacy of Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, who were, by that point, unceremoniously let go by the heads of DC Comics. He then hit upon one animated series during the fifteen years of irrelevance of Superman the cartoon “The NEW Adventures of Superman” and its filler show within the episodes “The Adventures Of Superboy" produced by Filmation, then the Ruby-Spears “Superman” animated series of late 1980s which happened just as the Christopher Reeve Superman Movies were starting to end and then the animated series produced in part by the people who gave us the 1990’s Batman Animated series that has remained Iconic. What I loved was knowing that one day he would revisit the series he hadn’t mentioned the first time around, and maybe next year he would cover those series with the current release of the James Gunn 2025 Superman movie!
(Cut to the TV seen on “TV Trash”, the number appearing on the screen as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Number Three
(Cut to the TV Trash “Get Smart ‘95” episode as James does a voiceover.)
3) Get Smart ‘95
TLOTA (V.O.):
This was one of the first episodes of “TV Trash” I had seen, along with the episodes on “Stripperella,” and other shows that he had talked about during those early episodes of “TV Trash.” I was introduced to “TV Trash” through this episode while searching for the 1995 continuation of the classic series and its duration. He had talked about what the show did wrong, and there was a moment where everything clicked. By the end, I knew that there was a series that starred Andy Dick, fresh off his work with Ben Stiller in “The Ben Stiller Show” and in the Pauly Shore movie “In The Army” and then to work on a bad continuation of “Get Smart” and I need to thank Rowdy for reminding me of how bad Andy Dick could be even before the events that ended his career after “NewsRadio” ended.
(Cut to the TV seen on “TV Trash”, the number appearing on the screen as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Number two
(Cut to the TV Trash “The Day After” episode as James does a voiceover.)
2) The Day After
TLOTA (V.O.):
(Cut to the differences in the introduction of “TV Trash” over the fifteen years, then to the latest title card of “TV Trash”. Cut to the TV seen on “TV Trash” The number appearing on the screen as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
And THE Number One Episode of TV Trash IS...
(Cut to the double feature episode of TV Trash with “JFK” & “Lee Harvey Oswald” from the series “Quantum Leap” as James does a voiceover.)
1) Oliver Stone’s “JFK” and the “Quantum Leap” episode “Lee Harvey Oswald.”
TLOTA (V.O.):
Watching this one is MANDATORY! Especially if you want to get through a lot of the garbage about the death of President John F. Kennedy, and I especially liked how the latter tried to clear the garbage out of the conspiracy that it was more than just Lee Harvey Oswald from the sixth floor of the Book Depository in Downtown Dallas, Texas. However, what makes this episode the Number one episode, for me at least, is when Rowdy goes full throttle after D.A. Jim Garrison tries to use the misinformation he used to try to arrest Clay Shaw for a conspiracy to frame Oswald and kill Kennedy. It is a rant I delivered verbatim in a class on speeches, where one of the assignments focused on conspiracies. Naturally, the JFK Murder was the top choice, and I chose to share his thoughts. Here now is a reenactment with me and the rest of the team! (Cut to James as he approaches the podium, inhaling and exhaling for two seconds before going into the “Rowdy” “Anti-Oliver Stone” monologue of facts ending with the same tone of Rowdy shouting “OLIVER STONE! YOU...ARE... FAILURE!” Cut to the shocked team TLOTA with their jaws dropped in shock for one minute and fifty seconds. Cut to James as he takes his seat next to Crosslyn Castillo, as the teacher (Off-Screen), played by James Daniel Walsh, says, “Okay, who’s working with James on this one!” and Crosslyn Castillo says, “I’m not working with him!” Cut to the double feature episode of TV Trash with “JFK” & “Lee Harvey Oswald” from the series “Quantum Leap” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
What set the episode of “Quantum Leap” apart was the fact that the show creator, Donald Bellisario, had met Lee Harvey Oswald, and his son believed in the Oliver Stone movie more than the facts. Bellisario decided to write the episode to fight the propaganda that the “JFK” movie tried to turn into fact without actual evidence and facts. And the fact that Sam leaped into Oswald, Oswald slowly taking over Sam Beckett, showed the history of Oswald, which showed that the man was damaged beyond repair, and that Oswald killed the president. This double feature episode was released on the fiftieth anniversary of the murder, and if there is one episode to watch without question, this Double Feature episode IS THE ONE! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: And if you have a favorite that I missed, let me and Rowdy know in the comments section! Next time, I'll be going remote because I'm heading to a little town in Minnesota called Triple Crest for “Monstertober!” I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and that’s my opinion! (James walks out of his office. Cut to the blooper of everyone as Crosslyn says her line and everyone laughs, The Scene fades to black with a list of Honorable Mentions which are the following “My Mother The Car,” “Sex And The City,” "Electra Elf & Fluffer,"“Studio 60 on The Sunset Strip,” “TV Treasures: Police Squad,” “Happy New Year Charlie Brown,” “Birds Of Prey,” “VIP,””Electra woman and Dyna girl,” “Club Mario,” “It’s Flashbeagle Charlie Brown,” “Star Trek “Spock’s Brain” and “Turnabout Intruder,” “Dinosaurs,” “Disney’s Descendents,” “South Park Osama Bin Laden has Farty Pants,” “Supertrain pilot: Express To Terror,” “The E Network,” “The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer,” “The Even Stevens Movie,” “The Dukes Animated Series,“Baywatch Nights,” “Mr. Pickles,” “Why Charlie Brown, Why?,” “Star Wars: Ewoks & Droids,” “Muppets Wizard Of Oz,” “TV Timeline: Zorro,” “Passions (TV Trash’s 200th episode),” “That 80’s Show,” “Cyberbully,” “The Death Of The Incredible Hulk,” “ReAnimated/Out of Jimmy’s Head,” “Scream Queens (Seasons 1 & 2)” “Kids Incorporated,” “Woops!,” “Honey I Shrunk The Kids: The TV Show,” “Thunder in Paradise (Crossover with DukeCT)” and “Shelly Duvall’s Faerie Tale Theater,” and James says “Cut!”)
No comments:
Post a Comment