(Scene begins with a smartwatch screen and a finger as it taps the screen, and the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand as it taps an app on his phone, as it opens a portal.)
(It cuts to James and the characters he’s played until it cut to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans'” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun and the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces. The credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca and Nick Yaun” are shown, then slide away to different images of Doug Yaun and Crosslyn Castillo, Nick Lopez and Jessica Lopez-Barkl, and the characters they’ve played, until it cuts to their faces.)
(After that, the credits “Doug Yaun and Crosslyn Castillo, Nick Lopez and Jessica Lopez-Barkl” are shown, as it then slides away to different images of Andrew Beach Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath. Following this, the credits of “Andrew Beach, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” and Special Guest Stars Traci Oden, Madison Storey, Mallory Storey and Vivian Faraci are shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays.)
(Everything becomes a swirl of reds, whites, and blues, as the credits “Produced by First Choice Entertainment Productions in association with Manic-Expression.com"; “Executive Producers: James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Olivia Horvath”; “Editing by Eric Kurtzke and James Faraci”; “Written and Directed by James Faraci” are shown, as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays.)
(We then see an image of James as he jumps through the portal and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a black background. Finally, the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown, laser-etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays. Cut to a room full of different versions of Supergirl, with Traci Oden as the Millie Alcock version, holding a bottle of 200-proof rum. Cut to Supergirl 1984, played by Olivia Horvarth)
Supergirl 1984:
Listen to me, I know the feeling of desperation; drinking yourself to oblivion will not help the situation. (Cut to Supergirl 2026, taking a swig of booze.)
Supergirl 2026:
Look, Blondie, at least you have an Argo City to go back to! Me (Supergirl 2026 downs the rest of the bottle and tosses it into a recycling bin.) I’ve got my dog who is the ONLY thing I care about to sober up and my dorky cousin. (Supergirl 2026 pulls out another bottle and starts to drink. Cut to the Melissa Benoist Supergirl played by Mallory Storey.)
M.B. CW Supergirl:
Yeah, he is a dork but underneath it is someone who cares about you. When I arrived on this planet, I was supposed to raise him... (Cut to Kara of “Smallville” played by Crosslyn Castillo)
Kara of “Smallville”:
But I awoke too late to do my job. I know, he was trying to get me acclimated to Earth. (Cut to the Supergirl from the Superman 1990’s TAS played by Madison Storey.)
Supergirl from the Superman 1990’s TAS:
I was a survivor of my world being tossed out of orbit, and I owed Clark a lot for wearing his family’s crest and getting into the fight. (Cut to Supergirl 2026)
Supergirl 2026:
Blah-De-Blah-De-Blah! All this is doing is making me reach for yet another bottle! (Supergirl 2026 tosses her bottle as it cuts to James and his team’s RV as it stops.)
TLOTA:
Okay, we’re here.
Team TLOTA (In unison):
Where’s here?
TLOTA:
Well, I have been asked to help with an intervention with someone who has issues and is using a bottle. (Cut to Jessica Lopez-Barkl)
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
You’re a friend of Bill W.’s?
TLOTA:
I am someone who helps friends of Bill W.’s, and before I forget, I need to do this after I step out of this ride. (James walks out and puts out a “Spoilers” sticker as we cut back to the intervention as we cut to the Sasha Calle Supergirl from “The Flash” played by Rebecca Fonseca Yaun)
Sasha Calle Supergirl from “The Flash”:
At least you have more than two appearances on the big screen. I was lucky enough to appear in one movie, and one of the people who worked on the movie said the word “Bro!” every other word. (Cut to Supergirl 2026)
Supergirl 2026:
Who frigging cares? I could use this... (Supergirl 2026 tosses another bottle, and James catches it and takes the bottle in Supergirl 2026’s hands)
TLOTA:
I think you’ve had enough of that. Now I know what you are thinking, that you need it to help. But trust me, it’s a crutch that keeps you lame. (Cut to the other Supergirls as they say “EXACTLY!” Cut to the Supergirl 2026)
Supergirl 2026:
Oh please! I can either hide behind a perky, perky Wainbow exterior or look at me I owe so much to someone who found me after my family froze to death and therefore I am willing to wear that logo as a bullseye on the chest, or Oh I’ve hid for so long now I have to show I’m a strong woman even though I have to hide the strength under my sister and a government agency or Oh I’m from the timeline where my cousin died now I have to wear the symbol of “Hope” for a Vince Russo style Jackass that wouldn’t know anything about DC. Look, just because I have a drink or five or fifty, I’m dealing with the death of my people and I can only deal with so much. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
But we all deal with issues, and yes, for many people, they think they need Alcohol to cope with the issues. I nearly did that in 2021; I’ve never had alcohol, apart from one time in Maine and my second oldest brother’s wedding, but it was in moderation with enough hydration to keep the effects of it to a minimum. But between 2019 and 2020, I almost said to myself, “I’ve had enough, I’m going into the bottle, and I’m not coming out until I’m in a grave!” but I didn’t because those I lost would have been upset with what I wanted to do, and I decided to be better. What you need is to find something to help you be better while dealing with your issues with the bottle! (Cut to the “Supergirl” 2026 poster, with recreated clips of the movie as James delivers a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Call this a mess, call it whatever you want, but to me, this was a great movie about overcoming the pain of loss and rising to be better than that pain. (Cut to James physically and the Supergirls circling him.)
TLOTA:
Trust me, it’ll get the train wreck back on her feet. In the meantime, I’m James Faraci, The Last of the Americans, and the views that I’m about to express are those of my own and some of yours. And this is “Supergirl” (2026) (Cut to recreated clips of “Supergirl” 2026 as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
The movie opens with Kara Zor-El, aka Supergirl, played by Millie Alcock, waking up with Krypto and a bottle of Jose Cuervo. We then meet the bad guys for this movie, the Brigands, whose leader, Krem, played by Matthias Schoenaerts, slaughters a whole family and takes everything, and one little girl named Ruthye, played by Eve Ridley, is left alive and with the last sword her father made. We then find Kara in the middle of a bender, and yes, the fact they show which planet has which type of colored radiation makes it easy for us to see what will happen to Kara in this case. But I digress: Kara is on a red, solar-radiation planet in the middle of a drinking binge as Ruthye makes her way to find someone to help her in her quest for vengeance against Krem.
Ruthye (Played by Vivian Faraci):
This sword was made by my father. If you will help me stop the Brigands and kill Krem, you can keep this sword.
TLOTA (V.O.):
However, this is not the bar to look for people to fight for vengeance. (Show Supergirl as she takes a shot and then decides to take her anger out on the entire bar that ruined her drinking binge. A gangster is tossed as it acts as a transition to the next scene.) The next morning Ruthye tries to goad Kara into helping but she’s a little busy dealing with a hangover, which unfortunately leads to Krem taking her ship and shooting Krypto!
Supergirl 2026:
KRYPTO! NOOOOOO! (The “NO!” Shout continues as James continues to throw out bottles of Alcohol and the other Supergirls hold the 2026 Supergirl back as it cuts to recreated clips of “Supergirl” 2026 as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Taking Krypto to a local Animal Hospital, they discover that the poison in Krypto's system will kill the dog in three days. Kara does everything in her power to find Krem, going on a ride as Kara remembers how she met Krypto on Argo City, and guess who happens to be joining Kara.
Ruthye (Played by Vivian Faraci):
Hi Kara, together we will take down Krem!
Supergirl 2026:
Oy Vey.
TLOTA (V.O.):
On the way, the two meet up with some Sklarian Raiders that are out for everything. However, one good dose of yellow sunlight and Kara gets a lead on Krem and his associates. Waiting for him to arrive, the two come upon someone who would love to frag a few people!
LOBO (Played by James Faraci):
HEY, if it ain’t that little girlie who decided to try and keep up the drinkin’ with me, guess who? It’s the Main Man! I hear you and this little bitty baby want to reduce Krem and his group of wimps into baby powder for this little one’s diapes! (Ruthye pulls out a sword)
Ruthye:
Unless you wish to help me end Krem and his soldiers in my family's name, I will not need you!
LOBO:
Ooh, threaten me with a real good time; besides, one of Krem’s men is on my to-frag list.
Ruthye:
“Frag”?
LOBO:
Yeah, it means I get to reduce a man to a pile of mangled remains on bones, but I digress. A lieutenant of Krem’s is my target, so I say this: how ‘bout I ride with you and drink with Blondie, and if I frag Krem, I’ll call it a perk. Ooh, I think I see my bounty. (Lobo uses his chain to yeet his prey.) Listen up Scuzz, someone is paying me a heap o’ cash for your carcass, and The Main Man always delivers! You come with me willing like, and I’ll make sure you are given a chance to grovel at the guy who wants you fragged. You do what I hope you do, and I make sure they bury you in an itty-bitty ditty bag! And the rest of you got ‘till the count of two before you wish a punch from the Blondie over there than me making sure I will be having fun on some carcasses. TWO! (A fight ensues as Supergirl and Ruthye escape.)
TLOTA (V.O):
The two escape the brawl just enough to get some more information about Krem from a couple named Bomar and Mareck, whose daughter has been captured by Krem’s men. While waiting on Krem to come by, we get the backstory on why Supergirl is not where she should be and is where she is now.
Supergirl:
Everyone says that the day that someone dies is the worst day. That’s a load! The days after for survivors like me is worse. My home planet, Krypton, went kaboom before I was born, but my dad decided he could save Argo City. Of course, it was good for a while, then the power source that kept the city going died and became radioactive; they called it Kryptonite, and next thing I know, Krypto and I are heading to Earth to be with my dork cousin to survive
TLOTA (V.O.):
And sure enough, the fight that began at that bar nearly ends with Ruthye getting her vengeance, but Supergirl stops her, only for Bomar, Mareck, and the whole family to be killed by Krem.
Ruthye:
Look at this, this is your doing, you drunk brat. I am going after him on my own; you can drink yourself to oblivion for all I care! (Ruthye walks away as Lobo lands next to an upset Supergirl, who is questioning the point of continuing.)
LOBO:
Last Call, already? (Supergirl punches Lobo as he shouts “DIRTY, FRIGGING, FRAGGING, NO GOOD SON OF A...” and it cuts to James and the Supergirls)
TLOTA:
Now many of you are wondering what I think of Lobo since I have my issues with Homelander. He was made in the 1990’s and was in the Superman Animated Series at that time. (Cut to different clips of Lobo in the Superman Animated Series and in the animated “Justice League” series as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
To me, Lobo is DC’s answer to Image’s Superheroes like the ones Rob Liefeld created. And to me he was just the right type of sociopath in comic books that just seemed to fit into that time and the fact that Brad Garrett’s voice is the first thing I do when I see Lobo in an adaptation of the character. Is Jason Momoa’s performance of Lobo better than his work as Aquaman under Snyder’s DC Cinematic vision, yes, but it’s not saying much. It’s like saying Shatner’s work after “Star Trek” in the 1970’s was better than his work after his career resurrection, when he put Captain James T. Kirk to rest and allowed others to be James Kirk. But I digress... (Cut to recreated clips of “Supergirl” 2026 as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Supergirl continues to go after Krem when she winds up on a planet with both green and yellow solar radiation. After getting hit with a super dose of green radiation, it looks like the end for Supergirl, but Ruthye tags along to get Supergirl out of the radiation, shows she grabbed the Supergirl suit, and is kidnapped by Krem and his men. Meanwhile, Supergirl goes through everything she had been through and decides enough of drinking herself to her own destruction; it’s time to give Krem his just deserts! (Cut to Supergirl 2026, who shouts “Yeah!” as everyone else is shocked.)
TLOTA:
Okay, Supergirl, what’s happening? (Cut to Supergirl 2026)
Supergirl 2026:
Being reminded of what I’ve lost and will lose as long as I keep drinking and acting the way I have will kill me, kill the last thing I care about, and what everyone I loved and cared for sacrificed for me to do to survive. I don’t need to get drunk (Supergirl tosses the bottle at James’ head off-screen, and he shouts “SON OF A..... ”). As Earth philosopher REO Speedwagon once said, “It’s time for me to fly!” (Supergirl 2026, in her Supersuit, flies back to the movie as James does a voiceover.)
Supergirl 2026:
Okay Krem, it’s time you got what you deserve for all you’ve done!
TLOTA (V.O.):
Supergirl begins her final fight with Krem as Ruthye and Lobo join in rescuing child brides that Krem has been gathering throughout the movie. (Cut to James, physically, as a whistling sound is heard, a Coconut hits like a bomb, and James picks it up!)
TLOTA:
Coconut? Wait what? What Coconut? Wait! Wait What Coconut? Coconut what wait? Wait Coconut? Coconut Wait What? Coconut? Coconut wait what? Wait, Coconut, what? (Cut to recreated clips of “Supergirl” 2026 as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Supergirl is getting hit with Kryptonite-laced arrows, and it looks like Krem is about to get away with killing Supergirl when...
Lobo (Off screen from a distance):
FRAG, MAIM, KILL, DESTROY! YEE-HAW! (Lobo comes in to fight Krem’s soldiers)
Lobo:
I love the smell of fragging people I’m getting paid for fragging in the morning! It smells like fun!
TLOTA:
The Main Man himself, Lobo, returns to collect the bounty on Krem and help Ruthye get the child brides away from Him, and just as Ruthye is about to exact vengeance, Supergirl stops her.
Supergirl 2026:
Killing him won’t remove the pain, nor what I was doing, drinking myself to death on Red Solar Radiated planets. If you kill Krem, you become him. Ruthye, my life began with the sole chance that my father was going to save Argo City, and it nearly ended when my father sent me away. Knowing that you saw what Krem did to your family, what do you think will happen if you kill him? (Ruthye drops the sword and hugs Supergirl 2026. Cut to James and The Supergirls)
TLOTA:
And it was at that moment, when Millie Alcock became Supergirl. And before I hear one complaint or “WHAT?” Let me explain. (Cut to the different interpretations of Supergirl as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
As a kid I saw the 1984 Supergirl as first performed by Helen Slater, while I was not a fan of the movie and I am still not a fan of it, I loved Helen Slater’s performance as Kara Zor-El and while most of the time it was a slog to sit through, what makes the movie tolerable at best was Supergirl’s character arc and while moments like the Coconut moment left me questioning the Salkind’s creativity and credibility, Helen showed the beauty and the grace of Supergirl as well as the power of the character when tested by Selena. The Supergirl we had in the 1990’s Superman/Batman Animated series and the 2000’s Justice League Unlimited Animated series showed the evolution of Kara, from the sole survivor of her home to someone who at first thought that she would be considered an equal to her cousin, even becoming a junior member of the Justice League during the time they go to their “Unlimited” era. It wasn’t until she decided to stay with the Legion that she felt she found her place. And yes, this happened in a straight-to-Blu-Ray and Digital movie that was a tie-in to the “Crisis On Infinite Earths” three-part animated movie. When Melissa Benoist portrayed Supergirl, we got to see the vulnerable side of the character, the human side of the character (for lack of a better term) a side that very few saw in the character. But in time, she showed nobility and intelligence to the character. Melissa Benoist, as far as I’m concerned, is the template of great female superheroes, and she joins the likes of Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman and Jamie “The Bionic Woman” Sommers, along with Lindsay Wagner and Brie Lawson as Captain Marvel, among other great female heroes. Even Kara in Smallville, Laura Vandervoort showed that she was a competent and capable superhero that would inspire her cousin to find his own way. This is the first time we’ve seen a broken Supergirl trying to cope with the loss of everything; we see her hurt, and we see her finding a way to heal after spending so much time trying to drown the pain in alcohol. She not only finds it but, in her own way, Supergirl finds her own strength and gets herself back to being the force of good her father knew was in her, and she finally awakens in herself the hero she is. (Cut to recreated clips of “Supergirl” 2026 as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
But just because she’s the hero and good, doesn't mean she was going to let Krem off lightly. (Supergirl cuts off Krem’s manhood)
Supergirl 2026:
That was for Ruthye, and this is for Krypto. (Supergirl takes the antidote from Krem and then decapitates the guy. Cut to recreated clips of “Supergirl” 2026 as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
And with that, Krypto is saved from death, Kara is better than she was, Ruthye is better off knowing she was not going to be like Krem, and the movie ends on a good note.
Supergirl 2026:
Hey Clark. (Cut to Superman played by Nick Lopez)
Clark/Superman:
Glad you’re back, and you don’t smell like alcohol. (Cut to Supergirl 2026)
Supergirl 2026:
I had to go through a lot to get here, and that journey helped me get out of the bottle. (Cut to Superman)
Clark/Superman:
I’m glad you went through it and came out better. So how long are you going to be here?
Supergirl 2026:
Long enough to call the Earth my home too! (Krypto barks in the background) He’s getting into the chocolate, isn’t he?
Clark/Superman:
Yep! (The two shout for Krypto. Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
So that was the 2026 Supergirl movie; was it the worst movie of the year? No. Is it a great movie worth a re-watch? Absolutely. (Cut to recreated clips of “Supergirl” 2026 as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
As an internet reviewer, this may shock people, but I loved this movie. I loved how well paced the story was. The acting was top-tier for a movie that shouldn’t have all the negativity critics who don’t understand the message have given it. If you haven’t seen it, then even with this spoiler-filled review, you need to see it. Watch it in theaters, especially in 3-D, and see the Girl of Steel become as great as her fellow DC Heroines, proving she is not just another Supergirl trying to be her cousin in a skirt. (Cut to James and the Supergirls as Supergirl 2026 hugs him)
Supergirl 2026:
Thank you for being the objective helper for the intervention.
Helen Slater Supergirl:
You were so great to just be there to tell her about her story
M.B. CW Supergirl:
And it is a story that needed to be told for her to see her true worth
Kara of “Smallville”:
Not too shabby there James
Sasha Calle Supergirl from “The Flash”:
Wait a second, what about my Supergirl? (James thinks, then it cuts to see James running to the RV)
TLOTA:
JESSICA START THE ENGINE! (James runs in as the RV hits the road.)
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
What just happened at the intervention?
TLOTA:
The less you know, the better. Next stop BBQ event in Upstate NY! I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and that’s my opinion!
