Tuesday, April 26, 2022

Connect The Plots: MCU+NETFLIX Marvel Series+ Disney Plus MCU Series=The Snap

(Opening begins at the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James in his office)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours, and welcome to another edition of "Connect The Plots" (Cut to a scene of James trying to connect certain things together like the theatrical version of "Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers" & "Halloween: H20", All the movie adaptations
 of Stephen King, Superman Returns to the original Salkind Superman movies, the first three X-Men movies to the newer ones and the "Wolverine" & "Deadpool" movies before cutting to James strapped down in a straight jacket all the while a kid sings "Connect The Plots La-La-La!" before panning down to see anything that might have a minor connection spell the words "Connect The Plots" before cutting to clips of The Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Netflix Marvel Series, and the Disney+ Marvel Series as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
At the time of this post, The Marvel Cinematic Universe has become the most successful cinematic franchise BAR NONE! Since the inception of the MCU has made a whopping twenty-three BILLION dollars! And has gone on to make more revenue through their Disney+ series, "Agent Carter", "Agents Of SHIELD" and something that has been questioned since both the "Hawkeye" series and "Spider-Man: No Way Home" is something that had been dismissed by fans as cannon is the Netflix series Starring Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, Iron Fist and The Punisher. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Why is that? Well, at the time the series was on Netflix, The MCU was in its second phase which ended with Avengers: Age Of Ultron. When they were forcibly ended some were in the middle of good storylines or baiting for more seasons. So as the MCU continued these series fell into obscurity and not helping was the failures of "Marvel's Inhumans" and I wholly understand. But after watching the Disney+ Marvel Series with the exception of Moon Knight which I'm in starting to watch, the Netflix Marvel series, and the MCU. I think I can clear up the canonicity problem with...(James pulls out a fully loaded Infinity Gauntlet) A snap! (The sound of Thor shouting "NO!" is heard as the snap takes place and it cuts to the ending of "Avengers Infinity War", post-credit scenes of "Ant-Man and The Wasp", "Captain Marvel", the scene with Yelena played by Florence Pugh as she disintegrates in "Hawkeye"  and the NETFLIX Marvel Series as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
When Thanos snapped the infinity gauntlet the initial fears, sorrows, and confusion hit the populace there were people everywhere trying to make sense of things and in the five boroughs of New York City, the same city where The Avengers was born it was as hard as the weeks went on and people were wondering what had happened to their friends, their family, their loved ones. It was as if the world was over and the ones that survived the snap didn't feel like the lucky ones. Of course, there would also be a sense of anarchy as criminals who wouldn't have been noticed were now feeling more empowered, without The Avengers, who was going to stop them. This is where the story of Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, Danny "Iron Fist" Rand, Jessica Jones, and Frank Castle AKA The Punisher would be connected in the MCU. Where we pick up is after Thanos had been killed weeks after the snap. As The Kingpin would try to rise to power and be a voice that would try to organize the underworld. Then we have the likes of the Purple Man of Jessica Jones played by David Tennant AKA The Tenth Doctor, the villains of Luke Cage and "Iron Fist" would try to do whatever it would take to restore those lost in the snap which is why in The Defenders there was talk about the plans of The Hand had. The Hand possibly lost quite a few million forces to The Snap. Even then if Wilson Fisk AKA The Kingpin played by Vincent D'Onofrio had a run-in with Ronin FKA Hawkeye played by Jeremy Renner, it probably would've happened in Season four of Daredevil if it had happened. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
So how does The Punisher fit into the mix? Well... (Cut to the Netflix Marvel The Punisher series as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
From the beginning, it looked like Frank Castle's family was taken from him before the start of the MCU. Most likely after Frank left the Armed Forces is when both Frank lost his family and Tony Stark lost his apathy in a cave tormented by Terrorists who would gladly use his tech to kill innocent people. But whereas Tony Stark went on to publicly do right, Frank went on to become The Punisher, hunting criminals and everyone who was close to those who murdered his family in cold blood. After getting what he felt was the justice for his family and the events of the Snap and his time on "Daredevil" he was more than willing to go underground, disappear but when certain things came back to light, Frank had to don the Skull Shirt and go on the hunt once again. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
So if these series happened after the snap and before the "ENDGAME" where were they when Earth's mightiest heroes needed them? Well, maybe they were where they needed to be? (Cut to the "ENDGAME" battle with Thanos as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
These were the street-level heroes in the MCU. Any sort of issues that The Avengers were dealing with, The Defenders were making sure the streets were safe from Thanos' attacks should they come to the streets. And with Wilson Fisk in exile until the news of what happened in "ENDGAME" was over would he return in "Hawkeye" and Matt Murdock would be helpful to Peter Parker partly due to the fact that Happy knew that Matt was on Tony Stark's retainer, should things go south. And now with The Avengers have fought their last battle, the remaining Defenders and The Punisher decided now is the time to go back to the shadows of the streets where they came from and try to hide until called for in the MCU. And that's not a bad idea all things considering Tony Stark and all he's done. But even after the "ENDGAME" they deserve to be recognized at the same level as The Avengers were. But after connecting the universes together better than how Mysterio did so in "Far From Home" I can tell you right now. But who knows maybe when I see "Multiverse Of Madness", that movie will do a better job than I did. But for now, at this moment, I enjoy what The Defenders did as much as how The Avengers fought to save the day. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, and that's my opinion!

Tuesday, April 12, 2022

April's showers bring A whole lotta "CARNAGE"

(Scene begins with a man in a director’s chair played by Kent Lilly as the sound of “Let There Be Rock” is heard until the song reaches its end.)

The Director:
Aaaaand CUT! That is a wrap for John Ross Santos, Michael Santos, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion, Paulo Fonseca, and James Faraci! (Cut to John, Mike, Andrew, Ed, Paulo, and James as they walk towards the Director dressed in clothing for going to Church.)

TLOTA:
Wow! This is amazing! Andy Serkis directed our music video satirizing “AC/DC”’s Let There Be Rock with the lyrics being about Venom & Carnage! (Cut to Andy Serkis as he gets a drink)

Andy Serkis:
Well, it was good training. (Cut to John, Mike, Andrew, and Ed)

John Ross Santos:
For what I may ask?

Andy Serkis:
A movie I’m directing and it will be great for me to get behind the camera! It just so happens to be the sequel to the first Venom movie. (Cut to James as he takes off his Jacket)

TLOTA:
How advantageous of our predicament, I have just finished reviewing Venom and I am currently working out how to handle the jokes and story for the review for the sequel. (Cut to Andy Serkis as disturbing music begins to play.)

Andy Serkis:
Well, I hope you do right by me, for this movie will be my next time in the director’s chair. It will be mine! It will be fantastic! It will be (Starting to sound like Gollum): my…precious! 

(Cut to James and the others as they smile uncomfortably at Andy as the scene cuts to a laser beam in the sky as the music of the 1994 American Gladiators opening theme plays the angle of the camera goes into the laser as four shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as the shadows reveal themselves to be James Faraci in the center, Kent Lilly and Paulo Fonseca on the right and Rebecca Yaun on the left as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving towards the camera, four more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear, and the shadows reveal themselves as Brenda Fonseca on the right, Nick Yaun on the left, and John and Mike Santos and their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving forward moving towards the camera, five more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as they reveal themselves to be Renee Miller and Eric Kurtzke on the right, Andrew Beach and Ed Champion on the left, and Olivia Horvath appears in the center as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame credits of “Written by James Faraci & Kent Lilly with assistance from Steve Kidd, Edited by Eric Kurtzke, Makeup by Olivia Horvath Produced by First Choice Productions, Directed by James Faraci” as it ends the Laser beam disappears and at the 0:28 mark of the theme song the laser beam cut out the words “The” “Last” “Of” “The” appear. At the 0:32-0:36 mark, the term “Americans” start to come forward as it pulls down, and James’ Morpher and Sonic Screwdriver is flung into the frame as James grabs both and morphs into The Last Of The Americans with Kent Lilly and half of team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans.” Cut to James and everyone else on Team TLOTA angrily cross talking to Chad Narducci as James is the loudest vocally saying “You’ve gone way too far Chad Narducci! Way Too Far! This is my series, it’s my name on the line, you had no right to do this without my permission!” as Chad Narducci blows a whistle)

Chad Narducci:
WILL EVERYONE GO ONE AT A TIME?  All of you are upset. (Cut to James who happens to be in the front of the still angry mob.)

TLOTA:
Okay, Let’s try this again! (Everyone angrily cross-talking to Chad Narducci as James is the loudest saying “Next time you do this type of shit, let me know what it is you are doing so I can approve it or reject it! It would be nice for you to do so because AGAIN it’s my name and ass on the line!” Cut to Julia Alexa Miller as she screams out “HOLD IT!” and the building shakes and everyone jumps back in either fear or surprise!)

Julia Alexa Miller:
Now, Chad, you seem to have pissed everyone off AND if everyone will go one at a time to air the grievances, maybe we can work to salvage Chad’s bad idea! Someone go first, please! (Cut to Olivia Horvath)

Olivia Horvath:
Well, first off, you did this entire, “Do a crossover with James Faraci The Last Of The Americans!” contest without James’ consent and then you decide to post it on the internet where anyone and their mother who has a vendetta against James could enter and then we have to work out all the details about the crossover in a quarter of our usual time frame! (Cut to John Ross Santos)

John Ross Santos:
Yeah and for all we knew we could be dealing with someone who could be a serial killer who’d love to “Buffalo Bill” us and that’d be a disgusting way to go! (Cut to Mike Santos)

Mike Santos:
Enter the eventual contestant winner who has everything paid for because that was part of the contest, which means that comes out of our pay and with everything now costing more because The Leader Of The Free World believes that the god damned outrageous prices people pay in California should be how much the average joe should buy it for means I have to pay ten dollars for a gallon of milk when it would be for at least $2.50 AT THE MOST! (Cut to Andrew Beach) 

Andrew Beach:
Now we have to somehow figure out how to make a story for the review possible. (Cut to Ed Champion)

Ed Champion:
Keep the review funny! (Cut to Paulo and Brenda Fonseca)

Paulo Fonseca:
Create a good commentary

Brenda Fonseca:
While having James and the guy review the movie. (Cut to Rebecca and Nick Yaun)

Rebecca Yaun:
Maybe rely on something we know works while the two do this crossover

Nick Yaun:
We have no idea what movie we’ll be making fun of or whoever is making the movie. (Cut to Eric Kurtzke.)

Eric Kurtzke:
And while you have your jollies at James’ expense (Cut to Renee Miller)

Renee Miller:
And this pisses us off because James Faraci is a decent human being! NOT A PERFORMING PRIMATE WHO IS HERE TO SUFFER FOR YOUR JOLLIES! (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Okay, listen the damage is done! And this is LITERALLY THE LAST TIME I SAVE YOUR ASS FROM YOUR OWN STUPIDITY! Okay guys, time to get to work! (James walks away, flipping Chad off. Cut to an enthusiastic fan sitting on the horseshoe couch as James makes his way over to the fan played by Kent Lilly)

TLOTA:
James Faraci…

Enthusiastic Fan:
The Last Of The Americans and The views we’re about to express are that of our own and some of everyone's!

TLOTA:
You got Chutzpah! I like that…Uh…

Enthusiastic Fan:
Kent Lilly!

TLOTA:
Kent, listen I’m glad you are here, ALWAYS glad to be recognized by and be with the fans. That argument Me and my team had, I hope you understand…

Kent Lilly:
Oh! I understand, Chad didn’t exactly think it out for you to…

TLOTA:
The Bottom line is, I’m here, you’re here, whatever your movie choice is, we’ll do it! 

Kent Lilly:
Well, one of my favorite reviews was one that was done in 2019, it was the review of VENOM in which…

TLOTA:
I had put Tom Hardy and the characters he portrayed and the movies he was in with moments from THE ROOM. I wonder how much you truly know. November 2013, Where was I when I reviewed The Green Hornet, and which movie maker and his movie did I reference to show how much I hated being in that place?

Kent Lilly:
The level of Dante’s Inferno where TMZ was. Seth Rogen and The Green Hornet and then you referenced the movie Dogma by reenacting the scene in which Matt Damon's Loki slaughtered every exec who was running the Mooby: The Golden Calf series.  

TLOTA:
Alright, February 2015, My Ben Affleck Trilogy, How crazy did GIGLI drive me?

Kent Lilly:
You killed five people. Shouldn’t you be in prison? 

TLOTA:
Alright, you are doing really good! May 2015, What Kids show programming block did I talk about and with whom did I do it as a crossover, AND what did Paulo mention that sent my crossover partner into a crazed foaming frenzy?

Kent Lilly:
Fox Kids, the Rowdy Reviewer, and Paulo mentioned Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation. 

TLOTA:
You are knocking it out of the park! Okay, March 2018, I was kidnapped by whom, and who else was with me, and What did I, against my will, review?

Kent Lilly:
Brendan Rooney, Mike J, and Rowdy were with you, and The Cutting Edge: Going for the Gold. 

TLOTA:
You know your stuff there, hombre! Final question: In which movie did I not want to review but I had no choice but to review because it needed to be reviewed, did I meet Alex? 

Kent Lilly:
Uh…The 2 Tails: A Mermaid Adventure.

TLOTA:
You were off by two points. One, The Movie was called “The 3 Tails: A Mermaid Adventure” and two, Alex was doing a video promoting a special for Life As A Mermaid on YouTube as I decided to try to avoid reviewing it, but overall, you’re a fan. So, what was the movie you wanted to review? (Cut to the title card of Venom: Let There Be Carnage then back to James and Kent)

TLOTA:
I was planning to do this one solo but I think we can do it this way! (Cut to Rock music as clips from Venom: Let There Be Carnage play as James and Kent do voiceovers)

Kent Lilly (V.O.):
The much-anticipated sequel to the surprise hit, this movie continues to see if they need Spider-Man in movies that have characters from his universe without the Wall-Crawler!

TLOTA (V.O.):
Well with… wait a second, who is Directing this one? (Cut to a still of Andy Serkis. Cut to James and Kent Physically.)

TLOTA & Kent Lilly (In Unison):
ANDY SERKIS?! 

TLOTA:
I do not envy the headache he would have!

Kent Lilly:
Why would he have a headache? Unless, The Studio Execs and their Lindsay Naegel-Esque leader! These are going to be funny; I hope. (Cut to Andy Serkis played by Kent Lilly as he is exhausted after a day of going over the storyboards, the costumes, CGI and everything else for Venom: Let There Be Carnage as he goes for some liquid relaxation as The Lindsay Naegel-Esque executive played by Olivia Horvath busts in and Andy does a spit take.)

Andy Serkis:
Effing Hell! (Cut to the two looking at each other)

Lindsay Naegel-Esque Exec:
Andy Serkis! Our illustrious leader and MY precious! Get it! Get it!

Andy Serkis:
Oh haha, very funny, now what can I do to help you?

Lindsay Naegel-Esque Exec:
Well, I have some test results, charts, and memos that I need to run by you.

Andy Serkis:
But I just got all my ducks in a row for what I want and need for this movie!

Lindsay Naegel-Esque Exec:
Well now that may be all fair and right for you but let me and my execs help, our movie will be more successful than your silly little own vision for the movie. Because if you (Cut to Andy slowly seeing all the notes and memos and charts being quickly placed on his lap and desk as The Lindsay Naegel-Esque Executive quickly talks about what she is talking about.)  We will make this a studio success! We’ll do lunch in two weeks which is how long the shooting schedule is. Bye Bye! (The Lindsay Naegel-Esque exec closes the door as the weight of the memos break Andy’s Table and he is standing there looking more exhausted and his head starting to look more like Gollum. Cut to James and Kent.)

TLOTA:
Let’s get right into it! This is Venom: Let There Be Carnage! (Cut to the movie as James and Kent do voiceovers)

Kent Lilly (V.O.):
The movie opens at an asylum in 1996 where we meet a young Cletus Kasady interacting with a fellow patient who is suffering from a physical affliction as well as mental problems. Worried she will be taken somewhere against her will they take Frances out of there which goes as well as would be expected. (Show clip of Frances shrieking, Cut to James and Kent physically as their glasses are shattered)

TLOTA:
That’s a Tuesday around here! (James pulls out a spare pair of glasses as does Kent. Cut to the movie as James and Kent do voiceovers)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Frances takes a shot to the head and wakes up discovering to her horrors she is in the one place she didn’t want to be as we cut to the present day where it is now Ravencroft because… It has to be a reference to the comic? Anyway, Frances has gone around the bend seeing that Cletus is now getting the Death Penalty done to him! Yeah, leave it to California, they’ll execute a fictional Sociopath but a guy who murdered his wife and unborn child, eh he got it but we made sure he gets life instead! Have I mentioned all of this takes place in California? Now you know what to expect.

Kent Lilly (V.O.):
Cletus Kasady now played by Woody Harrelson sits in the cage knowing he’s going to get out as we cut to San Francisco as Eddie Brock once again played by Tom Hardy is talking to Detective Mulligan about seeing Kasady and Detective Mulligan tells Eddie that he screwed up somewhere and it is up to Eddie to fix the mess. Kasady is about to be taken from the earth! Anything that can get his ass out of being either gassed or cooked in the electric chair nor will it help the victims and the families that they left behind. Venom comes out to try and eat Detective Mulligan, however, Eddie pulls him back at the last second!

TLOTA (V.O.):
Eddie is trying to keep his symbiotic partner in check as someone in the stall next to the two hears their argument. As Venom pulls out the fact that Anne is still not with him and is with her Doctor beau. Cletus and Eddie meet at San Quentin and tell me if Woody’s performance reminds anyone of another sociopath. (Cut to Rebecca Yaun as she plays Clarice Starling making her way to meet Mickey Knox as played by Nick Yaun.

Mickey Knox:
Well hello there, darling, nice to see they sent someone good-looking! When I get out, I’m gonna continue doing what I’m doing!

Clarice Starling:
I need your expertise, there’s a killer that has your patterns and your weapons. Do you know of anyone who would most likely want to copy your reign of terror?

Mickey Knox:
Sweetheart, Do I look like the type of person who knows what I did during the time I was out there? For all you know, the files you were handed were of my handiwork. 

Clarice Starling:
This is a waste of my time. (Clarice walks out)

Mickey Knox:
Wait, don’t you wanna do the psychological tango with me?

Clarice Starling (Audio only):
Unless you look like Anthony Hopkins and are as destructive as he is, PISS OFF! (Cut to the movie as James and Kent do voiceovers)

Kent Lilly (V.O.):
Kasady wants Eddie to send a message to his fans and in return will tell all the victim's families and relatives closure and his life story. (Show clip of Cletus Kasady as he gives his message to Eddie. Cut to James and Kent physically.)

TLOTA & Kent Lilly (In Unison):
WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?! (Cut to the movie as James and Kent do voiceovers)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Eddie gets out of there as we cut to his apartment and Venom has a photographic memory and draws up what he saw inside Kasady’s cell and discovers the bodies that Kasady had buried. Not too shabby for the duo. However, the Detective is pissed that he wasn’t made aware of the situation, Frances is upset over the fact the Governor has instituted the Death Penalty for Kasady and Kasady takes the fact he’s gonna die rather personally. With his career back on track, Eddie and Venom celebrate. However, it looks like the two are having their fair share of problems.

Kent Lilly (V.O.):
Wouldn’t anyone have problems with people after some time together?

TLOTA (V.O.):
Good point, however, we discover that the two have had some adventures between the first movie and this one, and apparently, the FBI has been on them for their actions. They get caught and they’re going to be handled by Top Men. (Cut to James and Kent physically)

Kent Lilly:
Who?

TLOTA:
TOP… MEN! (Cut to a clip of a metallic encasement being locked into a wood crate as an old man carries it off. Cut to the movie as James and Kent do voiceovers)

Kent Lilly (V.O.):
Going out on a food run Venom and Eddie continue to have their issues, Anne once again played by Michelle Williams has some news for the duo. The three meet and Anne is engaged to Dr. Dan and Eddie handles it well. Anne then soon reveals that she knows Venom is still alive and asks him to take care of Eddie. Venom tries to console Eddie through this situation. However, Kasady invites Eddie to his execution and then we get more of Kasady’s backstory. But we are constantly being interrupted from the drama of the story by Marvel’s interpretation of The Odd Couple (Cut to James and Kent physically)

TLOTA:
And we know who to thank for that! (Cut to Andy Serkis played by Kent Lilly as he is slowly deteriorating to Gollum state and the Lindsay Naegel-Esque Exec.)

Lindsay Naegel-Esque Exec:
Why are you dragging your heels in the filming and from what I’ve seen, only one percent of what I want is in the dailies?

Andy Serkis:
Go away! You is cruel and harsh mistress!

Lindsay Naegel-Esque Exec:
Uh, are you okay? This movie must meet Studio expectations and it cannot if you don’t put everything it wants.

Andy Serkis:
Studio is wicked, full of trickses, lies.

Lindsay Naegel-Esque Exec:
Listen, Just put everything the Studio wants into the movie or you will never make a movie again! (The Lindsay Naegel-Esque Exec leaves as Andy sits in a room filled with Memos, Charts and Test results.)

Andy Serkis:
Studio wantses it, it is mine! My Movie! (Sounding like Gollum): Myyyyy Preccccciousssss!

(The sound of Andy coughing as the word “Gollum” is heard as the scene fades to black it then cuts to the 0:36 mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme as it shows James entirely morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings "The Last Of The Americans." Cut to the 0:36 mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme shows James entirely morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings "The Last Of The Americans." Cut to the movie as James and Kent do voiceovers.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Eddie and Cletus meet as Kasady has his last meal as the two have their last get together and how he knows Eddie’s backstory which sets Venom off. Eddie gets bit and soon a symbiote is growing inside of Kasady.

Kent Lilly (V.O.):
Meanwhile, Venom and Eddie have another argument and it turns into the straw that breaks Eddie’s back and the two decide to end it with Venom taking possession of many different bodies. Meanwhile, Cletus Kasady is set for execution however, things don’t go as planned as the symbiote takes hold of the body, and thus we are introduced to Carnage and JESUS DE CHRISTO! (Cut to James and Kent physically looking scared)

TLOTA:
The last one to the men’s room is a rotten egg! And I think we know why Carnage is as well designed as he was. (Cut to The Lindsay Naegel-Esque Executive with her fleet of yes men and partners in her views.)

Lindsay Naegel-Esque Exec:
NO! CARNAGE IS TOO SCARY! Bob! I have tried to get into that office of his and he has been sounding crazier and crazier than before! So, Bob, guess what, you’re going in! (Cut to Bob as he is played by Chad Narducci is shoved into Andy Serkis’ office as Andy coughs and the word “Gollum” is heard.)

Andy Serkis (Audio only):
Cruels Studioses hurts my movie! (Sounding like Gollum): Of course, they dews, they never knowses of art or movieses, they knows of moneys, of greeds. They is wicked, tricksy, false, theys wants to hurtses it, takeses it away! (Bob nervously walks up to Andy Serkis’ desk)

Bob:
Who wants what from you? (Cut to the back of Andy Serkis’ now nearly Gollum-esque head as he slowly turns around.)

Andy Serkis (Audio only sounding more like Gollum):
MY! (Andy fully turns around as Bob sees Andy deteriorating even further into Gollum.)

Andy Serkis:
PRECIOUS! (Andy screams as it cuts to the outside of the office as Bob’s screams of pain are heard along with multiple sounds of thuds and squishing noises as the rest of the execs and their Lindsay Naegel-esque leader walk away in fear and total ignorance. Cut to the movie as James and Kent do voiceovers)

TLOTA (V.O.):
As Carnage breaks out, turning the jail into a slaughterhouse, Eddie cleans up the mess from the argument then hears that Cletus Kasady has busted out of jail. Eddie tries to think how Venom would do it as we then cut to Venom makes it to a rave and blends in. Just as Kasady tries to blend in and meets with his partner and the two decide to get Frances out of her cell meanwhile Venom is living his best life but misses Eddie.

Kent Lilly (V.O.):
Eddie asks Mulligan about any associates of Cletus Kasady’s with the letters F. B. Mulligan knows who it is because he was the guard that shot Frances. Meanwhile, Cletus continues his search for Frances. Speaking of Frances, we soon see her as Cletus kills Frances’ keepers and introduces her to Carnage and our villains break out of the Facility leaving a dozen or so people alive.

TLOTA (V.O.):
Discovering that Frances’ scream can cause a symbiote pain Cletus asks nicely for her to be careful otherwise Carnage will eat her alive. Venom on the other hand is in rough shape, now having to stay with Mrs. Chen. Meanwhile, Mulligan brings Brock in for questioning for which he has no answers. Eddie brings Anne and her fiancĂ© into the mix because…Why not, they have to justify Michelle Williams’ credit in this movie!

Kent Lilly (V.O.):
Anne has to help by finding Venom at the convenience store where Venom is chilling with Mrs. Chen from the first movie and Anne convinces Venom to go back to Eddie. Just as we hear about a wedding between Frances and Cletus with Carnage presiding over the affairs and they want Eddie, Venom and Mulligan to come. Anne soon gets Venom to come and rescue Eddie. Eddie apologizes to Venom and I think Anne is enjoying it a little bit but regardless, Eddie and Venom reunite, Carnage grabs Mulligan, Dan and Anne pack to get out of dodge however Frances or Shriek as she likes to be called grab Anne. Dan is told to send a message to Venom that if they want to find Anne, they’d better get to the address on the card at Grace Cathedral. Dan decides to join in the fray as well.

TLOTA (V.O.):
A quick promise to eat everyone except the Padre gives Venom the courage to fight his red offspring and to be fair, the action is a lot better in this fight than the first and that’s something. Venom & Carnage continue the battle. After getting his ass handed to him Eddie and Venom have had enough and decide it is time to end Carnage. Eddie and Venom rescue Anne as the fight continues between the two as the Bell Tower Collapses, Carnage and Kasady are separated, Venom eats the Carnage Symbiote and then the two eat his head! (Cut to James and Kent physically)

Kent Lilly:
Well, there could be only one! (James gives Kent a look that says “Dude, Kinda funny but not really.” Cut to the movie as James and Kent do voiceovers)

Kent Lilly (V.O.):
Eddie, Venom, Anne, and Dan now are on the run. And our movie ends with Eddie and Venom decide the best thing to do is be on the run and help where they can. (Cut to James and Kent physically.)

TLOTA:
Uh, don’t forget the post-credit scene.

Kent Lilly:
I nearly forgot. (Cut to the post-credit scene that had Venom briefly join the MCU. Cut to clips of the movie as James and Kent do voiceovers)

Kent Lilly (V.O.):
And that was Venom: Let There Be Carnage and to be honest…it’s alright. It’s a decent flick with fantastic visual effects, music, and acting from Woody Harrelson. Carnage looks amazing, the cathedral setting and fight are outstanding. And if Venom & Eddie argued for a lot of the movie, then the movie would’ve been better. Lastly, the post-credit scene was (does a chef’s kiss motion). 

TLOTA (V.O.):
Okay, I will say that you made good points, but to me, it was very much a great buddy film and it works as a metaphor for having to work under tough situations. The humor was good even though it was weird. The action was a step up from the first movie. Though there were quite a few things I felt was not as good as the first movie, Michelle Williams was just there but I truly can tell you that the movie is worth a rental at the most. If you enjoyed it, good for you. Me, I thought at best it was worth one viewing at the least. 

(Cut to James and Kent physically)

TLOTA:
Well, Kent thanks for joining me for this review, and should you decide to become a content creator, I know of this congregation site that will help with getting you into this vocation easily. One warning though, if someone says they’re from an “Awesome” congregational site, DO NOT ENGAGE! Also, YouTube can be a friend if you know how to use it to your advantage. 

Kent Lilly:
Thanks, James!

TLOTA:
One other thing, (James pulls out a package for Kent) This is a litmus test that I give everyone to try and review.

Kent Lilly:
Thanks, oh hey what is your team doing? (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller)

Julia Alexa Miller:
It’s Awards night, might as well have some fun mocking Hollywood!

TLOTA:
That sounds like fun! Care to join us, Kent?

Kent Lilly:
I would be honored!

TLOTA:
Cool!

(Cut to the Academy Awards Podium as The Lindsay Naegel-esque Exec comes up to take the Award.)

Lindsay Naegel-esque Exec:
I’d like to thank all my minions, all the test audiences, charts, and everything that has made this movie a complete success! Now that I have thanked everyone, I would like to take a moment and talk about… (Andy Serkis now having gone full Gollum grabs the award away from The Lindsay Naegel-esque Exec as she stands there in shock, fear, and confusion.)

Andy Serkis (Sounding like Gollum):
YOU’RE ALL LIARS AND THIEVES! IT’S MINE! I WON IT! THIS MOVIE ONLY WON BECAUSE OF ME! (Sounding like Andy Serkis): And me! So many peoples are my friends! My friends! (Sounding like Gollum): YOU DON’T HAVE ANY FRIENDS! NOBODY LIKES YOU! (Andy cries as it cuts to the Lindsay Naegel-esque exec as she stands there not knowing what to say and it cuts back to Andy sounding like Andy) Peter Jackson still likes me! (Sounding like Gollum): PETER JACKSON?!?! “MY PRECIOUS”?! WHO THE (Expletive deleted) GIVES A FLYING (Expletive deleted) ABOUT THAT HACK WHO HAD US OUT IN THAT COLD, MISERABLE (Expletive deleted) STORM OF THOSE HOBBIT MOVIES! (Cut to the Lindsay Naegel-esque exec as she clenches her face in near anger. Cut to The Lindsay Naegel-esque Exec coming face to face with Andy Serkis)

Lindsay Naegel-esque Exec:
That’s enough Andy!

Andy Serkis (Sounding like Gollum):
PISS OFF YOU COMMUNIST, (Expletive deleted), STUPID, FAT, (Expletive deleted) (Expletive Deleted) (Scene from this point is intercut between Andy Serkis and The Lindsay Naegel-esque exec)

Lindsay Naegel-esque Exec:
I’m Hollywood unhealthy, not fat!

Andy Serkis (Sounding like Gollum):
It doesn’t matter! WE’RE NOT THANKING ANY OF YOU PRO-RUSSIAN (Expletive deleted) SUCKERS! NO!  NOT ANYONE FROM THE STUDIO, NOT HOLLYWOOD! AND DEFINITELY NOT ANYONE OF HERSES ASSOCIATES! AND SPEAKING OF HER! “MY (Expletive deleted) PRECIOUS”! WHO THE (Expletive deleted) DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU (Expletive deleted) (Expletive deleted)! SHAME ON YOU! SHAME ON ALL YOU (Expletive deleted) (Expletive deleted)! YOU (Expletive deleted) CAN GO (Expletive deleted) YOUR BELOVED PUTIN! (Sounding like Andy Serkis): Not listening! I’m not listening! (Cut to James as he gets up and a sound is heard)

Andy Serkis (Audio only) (Sounding like Gollum):
FRANKLY! NOTHING YOU HAVE DONE HAVE SAVEDED THIS PLANET! AND THE MISERABLE EXPERIENCES EVERYONE HASES WATCHING YOUR (Expletive deleted)!  (Cut to Andy Serkis as he continues on and the camera shakes)

Andy Serkis (Sounding like Gollum):
AND IF YOU THINK THIS (Expletive deleted)y GOLD STATUE IS GOING TO REMOTELY MAKE UP FOR ALL THE (Expletive deleted) YOU HAVE DONE! THEN YOU ARE SADLY (Expletive deleted) MISTAKEN! YOU’RE ALL COMMUNIST BASTARDS! HOLLYWOOD SUCKS! WE HATES YOU ALL! (Andy is suddenly hit with a tranquilizer dart and James says “Excuse me, Pardon Me” as he makes his way to the stage and James grabs Andy.) 

TLOTA:
Good Night! (James drags Andy’s unconscious body from the podium with a now defeated Lindsay Naegel-esque Exec. Fade to black)