(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then the camera zooms to the backside of the slab with the word editorial on it)
I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and the views I'm about to express are that of my own & some of yours. We've all seen "The Terminator" & "Terminator 2: Judgment Day" (Show the intros to both "The Terminator" & "Terminator 2: Judgment Day" then cut to clips of both movies with James doing a voice over)
TLOTA (Voice over): Now for the moment push out of your mind Terminator 3 & Terminator Salvation and the supposed "Reboot" that's coming up out of your mind for a while and remember how innovative the first two were. It had great practical & digital effects, The stories were self contained and told well, the acting was for the most part solid and James Cameron pushed the potential that cinema could have at that point. But let's look at the endings and what the meaning behind them were. Because this does also mean an analysis of the movies on their own merit and combined. (Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA: I know that everyone knows these movies backwards and forwards but here is where they differ is at the endings and I will be talking about those only, it goes without saying that there will be spoilers & I will be talking about the last moments after the villain have been well lack of a better term. (Cut to T2 Clip where Arnold says "Terminated" then cut back to James physically.) Thanks Arnie. Let's start with the first "Terminator" ending (Show ending of "The Terminator" while James does a voice over.)
TLOTA: We know that Kyle Reese played by Michael Biehn sacrificed himself so that Sarah Connor played by Linda Hamilton could survive to give birth to the hope of the resistance against Skynet, their son John who in the second movie is played by Edward Furlong and as Sarah is driving in her Jeep a kid takes a photo that both John & Kyle will keep to remind themselves of what they fight for and what they would eventually lose. Kyle would lose the woman because he fell in love with her in the middle of a fight for survival & John would lose the only parent he would know. The only reason John doesn't know about Kyle Reese is because Sarah is reluctance to let her son know he's the only hope for the future in the first movie and as she rides off, She doesn't ride off into a bright and hopeful future. She rides head first into a storm knowing that there will be danger involved and she's ready to take on that danger head on. But let's think about this. A woman is carrying the only hope for humanity and sees on the horizon the chaos that is to come. Wouldn't you be afraid? I guess after being chased by a murderous creation with one intent in mind which is to kill you. Looking at a storm on the horizon and not being afraid is about right. But however things may look bad on the horizon there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I think that is what Sarah is seeing. (Cut to James Physically)
TLOTA: But why did she become the way did in "T2" I have no clue and speaking of "T2". (Show ending of "Terminator 2: Judgment Day" while James does a voice over )
TLOTA (Voice over): So yeah after we discover that Arnold's Terminator was reprogrammed by the resistance to Protect the young John Connor and going through so much to learn about the ways of humanity decided to sacrifice himself so that Judgment Day will never happen. (Cut to Poster of Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines trying to sneak over James physically and James holds the double barreled handgun from "The Green Hornet" to said poster.)
TLOTA: I said Judgment Day will NEVER HAPPEN! (Poster runs off as scene cuts to the ending of Terminator 2: Judgment Day as James does a voice over)
TLOTA (Voice over): John discovers what humanity feels like. Remember he didn't feel much for anything until his life was on the line what his life what the value of human life was. Even as a cold and calculating machine which at the beginning had the same value on human life was shown through John's eyes. John became a bit of a father to Arnold's terminator. The Terminator Arnold plays becomes a father to John and so at the end when John is saddened at the loss of the only father figure he knew. Arnold says the line(Show clip of Arnold saying " I now know why you cry." then going back to James doing a voice over) Arnold 's Terminator discovers through a sub conscious thought in John's head. He's not only crying for Arnold's Terminator but the father he had yet to meet in the future but never knew when John before John was born. So Arnold's Terminator is lowered into the molten steel hoping that the future he came from will never exist.(Cut to Poster of Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines trying to sneak over James physically and James holds the double barreled handgun from "The Green Hornet" to said poster.)
TLOTA: I said WILL never exist! (Poster runs off as scene cuts to the ending of Terminator 2: Judgment Day as James does a voice over)
TLOTA (Voice over): And Sarah begins to see the light at the end of the tunnel come closer while at the end of the first movie she sees that light at the end of the tunnel of chaos, there is that tunnel of chaos before hand and while at that end she has gone through a lot to get to that light she can never forget what got her to that point and while it may be a part of her. It's never going to be the defining point for her. She will move forward in life and see things with a bit of hope. But she also knows that eventually she won't be able to protect the son from the fallout from the chaos she caused from going into the storm from the first movie's ending. But she also hopes her son will go through that chaos without the same problems she did or maybe She knew that John wouldn't be afraid of the Chaos because of what he went through. But whatever happens the future is theirs for the taking. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: Well I hope I gave you some insight into two of the finest movies in the Sci-Fi, Action Adventure genre redefining movies ever made and the endings that went with it. Because something tells me, this next one will make my review list but it will remind me of how great and untouchable the first two were and still remain. (Cut to footage from the first two Terminator movies as James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): Because the first two remain some of the most revolutionary movies ever made, their legacy, even after bad sequels, bad spin-offs and bad attempts to reboot the franchise, are reminders of how cinema can be used and should be used for great story telling and not just flashy effects and cardboard cutouts of cliché characters. Which is why when these movies come on, I will watch(Cut to James Physically)
TLOTA: I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and (Puts on shades and does an Arnold Schwarzenegger impression) I'll be back!
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Saturday, July 12, 2014
The Top 10 Ridiculous "Rocky" moments
(Scene starts with James lying down on his bed, exhausted and looking at the calendar.)
TLOTA: Oh man, am I late. I overshot the Fourth of July but then again I was Uber-busy. Let's see if I can do something really on the fly. (Silently scatting then saying silently Eeny Meeny Miney Moe & Bingo as James finds in a box set of DVDs of the "Rocky" franchise.) Let's see what inspiration I can get out of this!
(A Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Megaforce Morpher from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans with his Black Tee-Shirt with the American flag on it, Blue Jeans and Tan Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James stocking up on his arsenal from the Classic Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers Morpher, a bandoleer stocked up with Sonic Screwdrivers, Ammunition for a 303 British Rifle and said rifle, The Ring Of Aeon, The Gem From the Gauntlet Malachite’s Hand, Emmalina’s amulet and the Sword Of Caliverti from 0:08-0:15 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators. 0:15-0:29 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run shows James taking on all of popular culture until 0:30 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James pulls out a sonic screwdriver then cuts over to a slab of titanium where lasers cut out “The Last Of The Americans” until 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run when James lands on top of the slab while doing a heroic pose on a black background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it.)
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. When it comes to the Fourth Of July a few things immediately come to my mind are as follows: Bar-B-Ques, Small town Fairs, Fireworks, and two movie franchises in particular "Jaws" and the one I'm going to talk about "Rocky" (Scene cuts to footage of the "Rocky" movie franchise and James doing a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): And there is a reason for it around this time last year I did an editorial on the "Rocky" Franchise and how for Sylvester Stallone the character of Rocky Balboa represents his American Dream of watching someone from the bottom rise to the top! (Cut to clips from the Broadway show of "Rocky" while James continues a voice over) and as I speak now there is a musical adaptation of the first "Rocky" movie that's hit on Broadway and most people like it but there are those who find it ridiculous. But I ask those who find the Musical Ridiculous,(Cut back to the Rocky movie footage.) Look at all six movies, there were plenty of Ridiculous moments in there and I'm counting down the ten most Ridiculous moments of the "Rocky" movie franchise. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: Now don't imply that I don't like the movies. Far from it. (Cut to more footage from the Rocky movie franchise as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (Voiceover): I actually like the dramatic moments and the sports action for the most part is well choreographed but trust me when you see what I have seen in the Rocky movies, you'll be seeing things about the Rocky franchise in a different light.(Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: So put on those Patriotic Shorts and let James Brown's "Living in America" be your introduction as you prepare to fight Hulk Hogan for Charity, These are The ten most ridiculous moments in the Rocky movie franchise! (Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place as the city moves and clips of the Rocky Franchise run along side him eventually showing the "Yo Adrian I did it" moment from Rocky II while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background as James counts down the moments.)
TLOTA (Voice Over): Number 10
10) How Rocky lost his fortune in "Rocky V"
Don't get me wrong, losing one's fortune is devastating no matter who it is. But when Rocky lost his fortune in "Rocky V" by having his accountant be a complete and incompetent crook who fooled Paulie to sign over Rocky's accounts to him was sheer and completely ridiculous but what was more ridiculous was Rocky flat out saying to his management team to tell George Washington Duke, that he would take on Duke's Choice for competition. He just came back from going toe to toe with Ivan Drago in the last one and he's saying he'll fight Duke's challenger? (Cut to scene from "The Critic episode "A Song For Margo" where Franklin chuckles and says "Cuckoo" then cut to James physically)
TLOTA: My thoughts exactly Franklin!(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.) Number nine
9) How Rocky won the title in "Rocky II"
As a sports fan myself, I've seen some crazy miracles happen in sports. Such as watching Eli Manning after nearly being blitzed threw a throw that got caught with one hand by David Tyree in the Super Bowl or watching as the San Antonio Spurs win the NBA Championship even watching as The Boston Red Sox win the World Series after an 86 year drought was somewhat miraculous and I consider myself a pure fan of the sport of Baseball. But this is might just top David Arquette winning the WCW World Heavyweight Championship. Okay let me set up the scenario, it's the final round in the rematch between Apollo Creed & Rocky Balboa both looking like a pound of ground beef and the two are just tired from standing but the two are still fighting and then boom with one punch the two are on the canvas, the two crawl and try with every ounce of energy they could muster to get up. Both were at the count of nine, Rocky somehow finds the little bit extra as Apollo goes down. Whu, What the... WAIT A MINUTE? (Record Scratches as scene cuts to James physically)
TLOTA: You mean to tell me that by the sheer will of force, Rocky Balboa who was in the same place physically & psychologically as Apollo got back on his feet first? HOW? And for the record, NO I do not accept Apollo's explanation that somehow Rocky had that little bit more of an edge okay. Let's move on shall we.(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): Number Eight
8) George Washington Duke
If there was ever a doubt that Don King could never be parodied then obviously you never saw "Rocky V" because HOLY QUACAMOLE! The only thing that separates Don King and George Washington Duke is about three feet of hair on end and while actor Richard Gant took some inspiration from Don King, He definitely put his own twist into it. Playing more of the Race Card, hounding Rocky by any means to get his way, even flipping like a coin when Tommy Gunn failed in the brawl at the end, was I glad to see him get his comeuppance as Rocky knocked him on his ass on the Limo, Yes. But was I supposed to take him seriously? Probably. Was he ridiculous? (Cut to the scene of the townspeople of Rock Ridge in the middle of the night and they all shout to Bart. "YOU BET YOUR ASS!" before cutting to James Physically)
TLOTA: THANK YOU TOWNSHIP OF ROCK RIDGE!(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): Number seven!
7) Rocky's "Training Camp" in Rocky III
While I know it was meant to show that maybe Rocky had gotten soft after winning the championship but that doesn't mean they had to show how easily he got distracted during the training sequence. A training sequence that shows James "Clubber" Lang played by Mr. T is so prepared that if Rocky was as prepared as Clubber, Rocky would've knocked "Clubber"'s lights out. I think Rocky should've thanked his lucky stars Apollo Creed came along at the right time to help Rocky realize how ridiculous he had become.
(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): Number six
6)Everything in Rocky IV
I could've filled the entire list with every little ridiculous thing from Rocky IV. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: However I should state that it is not a bad movie.The Nostalgia Critic and James Rolfe went through and reviewed this movie and pointed and nitpicked Rocky IV already but to kind of point out the obvious here are the moments that make this movie ridiculous. (Cut to clips of Rocky IV that James and everyone else finds ridiculous and James doing a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): The Robot in Rocky IV, The Martyrdom and eventual death of Apollo Creed, Paulie's attitude, The fight between Rocky & Ivan Drago, The final speech at the end of Rocky IV, the predictability of the movie. (Bell dings as scene cuts back to James.)
TLOTA: Well, that half the fight is over. I'm going to take a break in my corner. You check out these commercials.(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it act as the commercial break intro)
(Scene starts in a living room with Lea Michele & Michael Morrison with a confused look on their faces while watching a Sylvester Stallone movie while Rowdy does a voice over.)
Rowdy (Voice over): Are you tired of having to put either the captions or English Subtitles to watch a movie starring Sylvester Stallone? (Show clip of "Rambo: First Blood" as he gives his final speech on the TV and cut to Lea & Michael nodding in a yes motion.) Well, now you can translate what Stallone says into fluent English with the Stallone translator. It's available as an app for your portable device, an in ear piece or a program for your speaker system. Put it on and you'll be able to hear what in Sam Hill what Sylvester Stallone is saying in actual English. (Cut to clip of "Judge Dredd" 1995 with James dubing Sylvester Stallone.)
Stallone (Dubbed by James): It's a lie! The evidence has been falsified! It's impossible! I never broke the law, I AM THE LAW!
Rowdy (Voice over): You'll finally be able to hear what Rocky Balboa is saying without slurring his words. Imagine John Rambo's final speech actually dubbed into English! (Cut to "Rambo: First Blood"'s end speech with James dubbing over Stallone's lines.)
Stallone (Dubbed by James): Nothing is over! Nothing! You just don't turn it off! It wasn't my war! You asked me, I didn't ask you! And I did what I had to do to win! But somebody wouldn't let us win! And I come back to the world and I see all those maggots at the airport, protesting me, spitting. Calling me baby killer and all kinds of vile crap! Who are they to protest me? Who are they? Unless they've been me and been there and know what the hell they're yelling about!
Trautman: It was a bad time for everyone, Rambo. It's all in the past now.
Stallone (Dubbed by James):For you! For me civilian life is nothing! In the field we had a code of honor, you watch my back, I watch yours. Back here there's nothing!
Trautman: You're the last of an elite group, don't end it like this.
Stallone (Dubbed by James):Back there I could fly a gunship, I could drive a tank, I was in charge of million dollar equipment, back here I can't even hold a job PARKING CARS! (Cut to an ear piece inside the ear of Becca Tobin playing Jennifer Flavin-Stallone while Rowdy does a voice over.)
Rowdy (Voice over): We even let the Stallones try it out and well... (Cut to the Stallone house as James plays Sylvester Stallone.)
Sylvester Stallone: Hey yo! (Inaudible mumbling & slurring) (Cut to first person perspective of Jennifer Flavin-Stallone as Stallone is seen but James dubs the audio)
Stallone (Dubbed by James): So I'm going to be working at the studio and I'm hoping one of our older daughters can pick up the youngest and make dinner. (Cut to Jennifer Flavin-Stallone from the back of Sylvester's head.)
Jennifer Flavin-Stallone: An absolutely great idea.
Sylvester Stallone: (Inaudible mumbling and slurring then walks out of frame as Jennifer Flavin-Stallone looks into the camera.)
Jennifer Flavin-Stallone: I can finally understand my husband! Thank you Stallone Translator! (Cut to an image of the Stallone Translator with Rowdy doing a voiceover.)
Rowdy (Voice over): The Stallone Translator, it also works on Sam Elliot dialogue and other actors who can't speak a lick of English properly. (Sylvester Stallone pops up and begins to slur & mumble his dialogue before kicking on a translator himself.)
Stallone (Dubbed by James): There we go, my name is Sylvester Stallone and I approve of this device! (Fade to black)
(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it act as the return act to the review as scene cuts to James swishing water in his mouth getting rubbed down by Lea Michele and Rowdy dressed as Mickey from "Rocky" is giving him encouraging words.)
Rowdy: You're doing great James, we're halfway there another five and we'll be done. One way or another, we're alright. (Bell dings and James swallows the water.)
TLOTA: That was the bell, let me back at it.(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): Number five
5) Rocky Junior's age progression
Don't get me wrong, Rocky Junior's age progression is natural but whoa did the lapses take a toll on reality. In Rocky II he's born, of course and is played surprisingly by Seargeoh Stallone, his second born son, then he's nearly five years old, then in Rocky IV he's nearly seven and in Rocky V he's a teen and played by Seargeoh's older brother the late Sage Stallone. WOW absolutely ridiculous how this kid grows up. Even though as an adult he's played by Milo Ventimiglia and does it well it takes quite a toll on the suspension of disbelief to see him grow up THAT quickly!
(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): Number four
4) The Marching Band that knows "Gonna Fly Now" in Rocky III & Rocky V
Don't get me wrong and don't misquote me Bill Conti's "Gonna Fly Now" is an amazing song definitely see why it deserves to be in the top 11 F-Yeah songs from movies list the Nostalgia Critic did during what I'd call his first run but HOLY FREAKING TOLEDO! When I heard a marching band play it in Rocky III, I figured that's the song Rocky heard in his head and wanted the marching band to play as he was being honored but when I heard another marching band perform it in Rocky V, yeah kind of seems insane by most standards and is without a shadow of one of the big ridiculous moments in the Rocky franchise.
(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): Number three
3) The over usage of the musical montages
This was prevalent particularly in Rocky IV & V but while I did mention that everything in Rocky IV was ridiculous earlier the over use of the Musical montage in Rocky IV had to have had it's own spot. While they did cut back on the musical montages in the fifth one. The overuse of the montage in the fourth one made it clear it was trying to reach the MTV crowd which was starting to come to fruition at that time. But when you have to give a musical moment to James Brown, yeah something was saying in the back of Sylvester Stallone's mind saying, let's cut back on the musical numbers in my movies from now on.
(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): Number two
2) Rocky Balboa's investment in Tommy Gunn's Championship fight in Rocky V
After watching his former Protégé Tommy "The Machine" Gunn played by the late Tommy Morrison walk out on him. Rocky actually decides to watch Tommy go for his former championship on TV mind you but still, after he basically got fed up with Rocky trying to make Tommy patient and enjoy not only the respect and dignity the title meant to Rocky but also to the boxing community. Rocky decides to see the fight on TV in hopes that Tommy at least gives Rocky a bit of credit for helping Tommy. Rocky is even capable of some magic as he was able to choreograph Tommy through a punching bag! WOW! Ridiculous as having toast land jelly side down as 100 % Positive proof the Devil is here on earth!
(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): And the number one most ridiculous moment is...
1) Rocky Balboa vs Thunderlips in Rocky III
This was the sign that the silliness was going uphill and the dramatics were heading downwards. But surprisingly I actually like this and can recite verbatim all of Hulk Hogan's lines. But what tips the scale back and forth from funny ridiculous to "Are you serious?" ridiculous is when Paulie is being a corner man trying to help Rocky. Paulie even goes so far as to hit Thunderlips played by Hulk Hogan with a chair and say
Paulie : I don't sweat you
TLOTA (Voice over): Only to have Thunderlips knock his lights out but even though the match ended in a draw and the two get a photo for the paper. This tops the list for me at least as the most Ridiculous moment in the Rocky franchise.
Rocky Balboa: You know sometimes charity hurts!
Thunderlips: Huh. (Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA: And that's the top ten ridiculous "Rocky" moments. Does those moments detract from the movies themselves? No! (Cut to footage of the Rocky movie franchise with James doing a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voice over): The ridiculous moments don't detract from the movies likability at all. The "Rocky" Franchise was a great tale of Sylvester Stallone's American Dream that anyone can rise to the top and fly, rise up to the challenge of our rivals and take them on with the eye of the tiger! (Cut to James Physically)
TLOTA: I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and that's my opinion. Now I've got to run!(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and cut to the actual steps outside the museum as the camera angles perfectly to show the statue as James runs up the steps and does the pose of the statue with the statue in the foreground.)
TLOTA: Oh man, am I late. I overshot the Fourth of July but then again I was Uber-busy. Let's see if I can do something really on the fly. (Silently scatting then saying silently Eeny Meeny Miney Moe & Bingo as James finds in a box set of DVDs of the "Rocky" franchise.) Let's see what inspiration I can get out of this!
(A Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Megaforce Morpher from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans with his Black Tee-Shirt with the American flag on it, Blue Jeans and Tan Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James stocking up on his arsenal from the Classic Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers Morpher, a bandoleer stocked up with Sonic Screwdrivers, Ammunition for a 303 British Rifle and said rifle, The Ring Of Aeon, The Gem From the Gauntlet Malachite’s Hand, Emmalina’s amulet and the Sword Of Caliverti from 0:08-0:15 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators. 0:15-0:29 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run shows James taking on all of popular culture until 0:30 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James pulls out a sonic screwdriver then cuts over to a slab of titanium where lasers cut out “The Last Of The Americans” until 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run when James lands on top of the slab while doing a heroic pose on a black background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it.)
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. When it comes to the Fourth Of July a few things immediately come to my mind are as follows: Bar-B-Ques, Small town Fairs, Fireworks, and two movie franchises in particular "Jaws" and the one I'm going to talk about "Rocky" (Scene cuts to footage of the "Rocky" movie franchise and James doing a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): And there is a reason for it around this time last year I did an editorial on the "Rocky" Franchise and how for Sylvester Stallone the character of Rocky Balboa represents his American Dream of watching someone from the bottom rise to the top! (Cut to clips from the Broadway show of "Rocky" while James continues a voice over) and as I speak now there is a musical adaptation of the first "Rocky" movie that's hit on Broadway and most people like it but there are those who find it ridiculous. But I ask those who find the Musical Ridiculous,(Cut back to the Rocky movie footage.) Look at all six movies, there were plenty of Ridiculous moments in there and I'm counting down the ten most Ridiculous moments of the "Rocky" movie franchise. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: Now don't imply that I don't like the movies. Far from it. (Cut to more footage from the Rocky movie franchise as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (Voiceover): I actually like the dramatic moments and the sports action for the most part is well choreographed but trust me when you see what I have seen in the Rocky movies, you'll be seeing things about the Rocky franchise in a different light.(Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: So put on those Patriotic Shorts and let James Brown's "Living in America" be your introduction as you prepare to fight Hulk Hogan for Charity, These are The ten most ridiculous moments in the Rocky movie franchise! (Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place as the city moves and clips of the Rocky Franchise run along side him eventually showing the "Yo Adrian I did it" moment from Rocky II while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background as James counts down the moments.)
TLOTA (Voice Over): Number 10
10) How Rocky lost his fortune in "Rocky V"
Don't get me wrong, losing one's fortune is devastating no matter who it is. But when Rocky lost his fortune in "Rocky V" by having his accountant be a complete and incompetent crook who fooled Paulie to sign over Rocky's accounts to him was sheer and completely ridiculous but what was more ridiculous was Rocky flat out saying to his management team to tell George Washington Duke, that he would take on Duke's Choice for competition. He just came back from going toe to toe with Ivan Drago in the last one and he's saying he'll fight Duke's challenger? (Cut to scene from "The Critic episode "A Song For Margo" where Franklin chuckles and says "Cuckoo" then cut to James physically)
TLOTA: My thoughts exactly Franklin!(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.) Number nine
9) How Rocky won the title in "Rocky II"
As a sports fan myself, I've seen some crazy miracles happen in sports. Such as watching Eli Manning after nearly being blitzed threw a throw that got caught with one hand by David Tyree in the Super Bowl or watching as the San Antonio Spurs win the NBA Championship even watching as The Boston Red Sox win the World Series after an 86 year drought was somewhat miraculous and I consider myself a pure fan of the sport of Baseball. But this is might just top David Arquette winning the WCW World Heavyweight Championship. Okay let me set up the scenario, it's the final round in the rematch between Apollo Creed & Rocky Balboa both looking like a pound of ground beef and the two are just tired from standing but the two are still fighting and then boom with one punch the two are on the canvas, the two crawl and try with every ounce of energy they could muster to get up. Both were at the count of nine, Rocky somehow finds the little bit extra as Apollo goes down. Whu, What the... WAIT A MINUTE? (Record Scratches as scene cuts to James physically)
TLOTA: You mean to tell me that by the sheer will of force, Rocky Balboa who was in the same place physically & psychologically as Apollo got back on his feet first? HOW? And for the record, NO I do not accept Apollo's explanation that somehow Rocky had that little bit more of an edge okay. Let's move on shall we.(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): Number Eight
8) George Washington Duke
If there was ever a doubt that Don King could never be parodied then obviously you never saw "Rocky V" because HOLY QUACAMOLE! The only thing that separates Don King and George Washington Duke is about three feet of hair on end and while actor Richard Gant took some inspiration from Don King, He definitely put his own twist into it. Playing more of the Race Card, hounding Rocky by any means to get his way, even flipping like a coin when Tommy Gunn failed in the brawl at the end, was I glad to see him get his comeuppance as Rocky knocked him on his ass on the Limo, Yes. But was I supposed to take him seriously? Probably. Was he ridiculous? (Cut to the scene of the townspeople of Rock Ridge in the middle of the night and they all shout to Bart. "YOU BET YOUR ASS!" before cutting to James Physically)
TLOTA: THANK YOU TOWNSHIP OF ROCK RIDGE!(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): Number seven!
7) Rocky's "Training Camp" in Rocky III
While I know it was meant to show that maybe Rocky had gotten soft after winning the championship but that doesn't mean they had to show how easily he got distracted during the training sequence. A training sequence that shows James "Clubber" Lang played by Mr. T is so prepared that if Rocky was as prepared as Clubber, Rocky would've knocked "Clubber"'s lights out. I think Rocky should've thanked his lucky stars Apollo Creed came along at the right time to help Rocky realize how ridiculous he had become.
(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): Number six
6)Everything in Rocky IV
I could've filled the entire list with every little ridiculous thing from Rocky IV. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: However I should state that it is not a bad movie.The Nostalgia Critic and James Rolfe went through and reviewed this movie and pointed and nitpicked Rocky IV already but to kind of point out the obvious here are the moments that make this movie ridiculous. (Cut to clips of Rocky IV that James and everyone else finds ridiculous and James doing a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): The Robot in Rocky IV, The Martyrdom and eventual death of Apollo Creed, Paulie's attitude, The fight between Rocky & Ivan Drago, The final speech at the end of Rocky IV, the predictability of the movie. (Bell dings as scene cuts back to James.)
TLOTA: Well, that half the fight is over. I'm going to take a break in my corner. You check out these commercials.(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it act as the commercial break intro)
(Scene starts in a living room with Lea Michele & Michael Morrison with a confused look on their faces while watching a Sylvester Stallone movie while Rowdy does a voice over.)
Rowdy (Voice over): Are you tired of having to put either the captions or English Subtitles to watch a movie starring Sylvester Stallone? (Show clip of "Rambo: First Blood" as he gives his final speech on the TV and cut to Lea & Michael nodding in a yes motion.) Well, now you can translate what Stallone says into fluent English with the Stallone translator. It's available as an app for your portable device, an in ear piece or a program for your speaker system. Put it on and you'll be able to hear what in Sam Hill what Sylvester Stallone is saying in actual English. (Cut to clip of "Judge Dredd" 1995 with James dubing Sylvester Stallone.)
Stallone (Dubbed by James): It's a lie! The evidence has been falsified! It's impossible! I never broke the law, I AM THE LAW!
Rowdy (Voice over): You'll finally be able to hear what Rocky Balboa is saying without slurring his words. Imagine John Rambo's final speech actually dubbed into English! (Cut to "Rambo: First Blood"'s end speech with James dubbing over Stallone's lines.)
Stallone (Dubbed by James): Nothing is over! Nothing! You just don't turn it off! It wasn't my war! You asked me, I didn't ask you! And I did what I had to do to win! But somebody wouldn't let us win! And I come back to the world and I see all those maggots at the airport, protesting me, spitting. Calling me baby killer and all kinds of vile crap! Who are they to protest me? Who are they? Unless they've been me and been there and know what the hell they're yelling about!
Trautman: It was a bad time for everyone, Rambo. It's all in the past now.
Stallone (Dubbed by James):For you! For me civilian life is nothing! In the field we had a code of honor, you watch my back, I watch yours. Back here there's nothing!
Trautman: You're the last of an elite group, don't end it like this.
Stallone (Dubbed by James):Back there I could fly a gunship, I could drive a tank, I was in charge of million dollar equipment, back here I can't even hold a job PARKING CARS! (Cut to an ear piece inside the ear of Becca Tobin playing Jennifer Flavin-Stallone while Rowdy does a voice over.)
Rowdy (Voice over): We even let the Stallones try it out and well... (Cut to the Stallone house as James plays Sylvester Stallone.)
Sylvester Stallone: Hey yo! (Inaudible mumbling & slurring) (Cut to first person perspective of Jennifer Flavin-Stallone as Stallone is seen but James dubs the audio)
Stallone (Dubbed by James): So I'm going to be working at the studio and I'm hoping one of our older daughters can pick up the youngest and make dinner. (Cut to Jennifer Flavin-Stallone from the back of Sylvester's head.)
Jennifer Flavin-Stallone: An absolutely great idea.
Sylvester Stallone: (Inaudible mumbling and slurring then walks out of frame as Jennifer Flavin-Stallone looks into the camera.)
Jennifer Flavin-Stallone: I can finally understand my husband! Thank you Stallone Translator! (Cut to an image of the Stallone Translator with Rowdy doing a voiceover.)
Rowdy (Voice over): The Stallone Translator, it also works on Sam Elliot dialogue and other actors who can't speak a lick of English properly. (Sylvester Stallone pops up and begins to slur & mumble his dialogue before kicking on a translator himself.)
Stallone (Dubbed by James): There we go, my name is Sylvester Stallone and I approve of this device! (Fade to black)
(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it act as the return act to the review as scene cuts to James swishing water in his mouth getting rubbed down by Lea Michele and Rowdy dressed as Mickey from "Rocky" is giving him encouraging words.)
Rowdy: You're doing great James, we're halfway there another five and we'll be done. One way or another, we're alright. (Bell dings and James swallows the water.)
TLOTA: That was the bell, let me back at it.(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): Number five
5) Rocky Junior's age progression
Don't get me wrong, Rocky Junior's age progression is natural but whoa did the lapses take a toll on reality. In Rocky II he's born, of course and is played surprisingly by Seargeoh Stallone, his second born son, then he's nearly five years old, then in Rocky IV he's nearly seven and in Rocky V he's a teen and played by Seargeoh's older brother the late Sage Stallone. WOW absolutely ridiculous how this kid grows up. Even though as an adult he's played by Milo Ventimiglia and does it well it takes quite a toll on the suspension of disbelief to see him grow up THAT quickly!
(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): Number four
4) The Marching Band that knows "Gonna Fly Now" in Rocky III & Rocky V
Don't get me wrong and don't misquote me Bill Conti's "Gonna Fly Now" is an amazing song definitely see why it deserves to be in the top 11 F-Yeah songs from movies list the Nostalgia Critic did during what I'd call his first run but HOLY FREAKING TOLEDO! When I heard a marching band play it in Rocky III, I figured that's the song Rocky heard in his head and wanted the marching band to play as he was being honored but when I heard another marching band perform it in Rocky V, yeah kind of seems insane by most standards and is without a shadow of one of the big ridiculous moments in the Rocky franchise.
(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): Number three
3) The over usage of the musical montages
This was prevalent particularly in Rocky IV & V but while I did mention that everything in Rocky IV was ridiculous earlier the over use of the Musical montage in Rocky IV had to have had it's own spot. While they did cut back on the musical montages in the fifth one. The overuse of the montage in the fourth one made it clear it was trying to reach the MTV crowd which was starting to come to fruition at that time. But when you have to give a musical moment to James Brown, yeah something was saying in the back of Sylvester Stallone's mind saying, let's cut back on the musical numbers in my movies from now on.
(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): Number two
2) Rocky Balboa's investment in Tommy Gunn's Championship fight in Rocky V
After watching his former Protégé Tommy "The Machine" Gunn played by the late Tommy Morrison walk out on him. Rocky actually decides to watch Tommy go for his former championship on TV mind you but still, after he basically got fed up with Rocky trying to make Tommy patient and enjoy not only the respect and dignity the title meant to Rocky but also to the boxing community. Rocky decides to see the fight on TV in hopes that Tommy at least gives Rocky a bit of credit for helping Tommy. Rocky is even capable of some magic as he was able to choreograph Tommy through a punching bag! WOW! Ridiculous as having toast land jelly side down as 100 % Positive proof the Devil is here on earth!
(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over): And the number one most ridiculous moment is...
1) Rocky Balboa vs Thunderlips in Rocky III
This was the sign that the silliness was going uphill and the dramatics were heading downwards. But surprisingly I actually like this and can recite verbatim all of Hulk Hogan's lines. But what tips the scale back and forth from funny ridiculous to "Are you serious?" ridiculous is when Paulie is being a corner man trying to help Rocky. Paulie even goes so far as to hit Thunderlips played by Hulk Hogan with a chair and say
Paulie : I don't sweat you
TLOTA (Voice over): Only to have Thunderlips knock his lights out but even though the match ended in a draw and the two get a photo for the paper. This tops the list for me at least as the most Ridiculous moment in the Rocky franchise.
Rocky Balboa: You know sometimes charity hurts!
Thunderlips: Huh. (Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA: And that's the top ten ridiculous "Rocky" moments. Does those moments detract from the movies themselves? No! (Cut to footage of the Rocky movie franchise with James doing a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voice over): The ridiculous moments don't detract from the movies likability at all. The "Rocky" Franchise was a great tale of Sylvester Stallone's American Dream that anyone can rise to the top and fly, rise up to the challenge of our rivals and take them on with the eye of the tiger! (Cut to James Physically)
TLOTA: I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and that's my opinion. Now I've got to run!(Cut to obvious green screened shot of James in Grey Sweats as he runs in place while "Gonna Fly Now" plays in the background and cut to the actual steps outside the museum as the camera angles perfectly to show the statue as James runs up the steps and does the pose of the statue with the statue in the foreground.)
Sunday, July 6, 2014
The Day Of The Hero Part 6
(Scene cuts to Malcolm lying on the floor as the Duplecons as Tamara, President Baugh & Mara Wilson come in to see Duplecons transform into Duplicates of everyone in the room and even Chester A. Bum, Ask That Guy, Evilena, Mr. Zebub and even the Angry Video Game Nerd.)
President Baugh: Well, this is awkward.
President Baugh (D): So the solution is to do what?
President Baugh: Do something I never thought I had to. Engage final solution protocol.
Everyone else in the room: Final Solution Protocol?
President Baugh: If this vault was ever compromised I would do the only thing left to do. Blow us all to kingdom come. Sitting underneath us is twenty tons of dynamite. Though it may have looked like I set it off. The Nostalgia Critic's load was set one acre outside of Molossia this load will send us all to kingdom come and in three hours we all go kaboom! (Scene cuts to James carrying power cords to hook into the engines of the Exit Strategy. Meanwhile everyone else is adjusting the settings to adapt the Exit Strategy to James' time traveling device.)
E-Rod & Obscurus Lupa: That should do the trick.
TLOTA: Good work! E-Rod have JARVIS & ORAC amplify the frequency and signal strength to any communications device. We HAVE to get in touch within the X-Vault. Rowdy, Keep this sucker level!
Rowdy: What do you think I'm doing?! Playing Mario Kart?
TLOTA: Sorry.
(Scene cuts to the inside of the X-Vault)
TLOTA (Audio only) Calling those inside the X-Vault, I am James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, President Baugh, if you're listening, You destroy the vault & all of Molossia and this will not look good with any diplomatic advancements made between America & Molossia.
President Baugh: I'd rather wipe Molossia off the planet than have the technology be used in the wrong hands. (Scene cuts to the inside of the Exit Strategy.)
Hero: Baugh, listen it's easy to just simply do something because you have no other option. I'm currently in one myself but to destroy something because you're in a bind doesn't make things right.
ORAC: Alert all communications links have been severed.
Nostalgia Critic: Preservation Orbs. Spoony can these things be used open a portal?
Spoony: I guess.
TLOTA: Critic? What have you got cooking in your head? (Scene cuts to hours ago as Baugh is greeting everyone outside of Molossia when a phone rings and the oldest son picks up.)
Oldest son: Hello. (Cut to The Exit Strategy)
TLOTA: As soon as your father is done with showing the "No More" art piece take it to the X-Vault and BE CAREFUL. (Cut to the Oldest Son on the Phone.)
Oldest son: But how can you be on the phone when I saw you and your associates like seconds ago. (Cut to the Exit Strategy)
TLOTA: I've got a time traveling device.(Cut to the Oldest Son on the Phone.)
Oldest son: Okay. (Cut to the Exit Strategy)
TLOTA: Now that's done, all we have to do is...Find a way in. ORAC?
ORAC: I am currently finalizing the calculations, accessing temporal coordinates, locking in on Caliverti! (Scene cuts to everyone in Caliverti doing everything to get to the temporal nexus point where everyone pulls out a sonic screwdriver and slams a Viking through the glass pane in the "No More" art piece.)
Nostalgia Critic: Hello I'm The Nostalgia Critic and I remember it so you don't have to.
Nash: Sorry about the Viking.
Lea Michele: And the mess.
TLOTA: Well, you've got one hour to come to a peaceful solution otherwise, none of us are getting out alive. (Uses Sonic Screwdriver to short out The Elevator.)
President Baugh: Well we can't agree how we all can get along in peace.
President Baugh (D): So what chance do you think none of us will leave in pieces!
TLOTA: Simple. All right guys phase two! (James and Everyone who is the real deal put on sunglasses save for President Baugh & The Duplecons.) One thing I like the most is a multi-tasker so...(All who hold a sonic screwdriver flip the other end up to pull out a neuralizer and all activate the neuralizer function.) All right you're going to shut down the Final Solution Protocol and come to an agreement that will last for ages and just once, everything goes right!
President Baugh (O/D): SHUT DOWN FINAL SOLUTION PROTOCOL!
President Baugh: So we've got some discussions to get through.
President Baugh(D): Indeed.
TLOTA: Well, that's one problem solved. The other ones are going to be less difficult, I hope.
Spoony: Hey despite the fact you and your friends consider me scum for making that joke to JesuOtaku, I handled the Mary Queen Of Scots thing already.
Linkara: That leaves him...(Show empty chair)
Linkara (Audio only): Where did he go? (Cut to the abandoned Farm House with the Apocalator ready to go and Hero knowing what is about to happen when a whoosh is heard as James' time device comes in and everyone comes in.)
Hero: When did you guys know?
Nostalgia Critic: When James nodded in sadness about Caliverti.
TLOTA: All this time we thought you were wrong and maybe it was for the best we forget you because we had to. But now we know you were in the ultimate no win situation.
Linkara: A Kobayashi Maru, Damned for every decision no matter what you did. This time, you don't have to do it alone.
Hero: You'll carry this burden as much as I'll have to.
TLOTA: Not really. After all we've been through. Do you think we'd help someone take the easy way out? Everyone, step back. (James pulls out the Sonic Screwdriver and shuts off the Apocalator.)
Conscience: Smart move.
Hero: What are you doing?
TLOTA: Showing you what you're going to stop. ORAC access the Holoprojector. (Holoprojector shows everyone the people running, including children intercut with everyone either looking at everything that's happening with sadness, anger or a mix of both.)
TLOTA (Audio only): These are the people, the people that we saved, the people who once looked upon us as their saviors and now you want to wipe them off the planet. I once thought that the name you choose is a promise you made to yourself. What was that promise?
Nostalgia Critic: To protect what was good and to destroy the bad.
Hero: To never act in cowardice or in vanity and always no matter what do what was right.
Linkara, Phelous, Sci-Fi Guy, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers: To be loyal to ourselves and serve no masters
Rowdy, Film Brain, Luke Mochrie, Suede, 8-Bit Mickey, Bennett, Todd, Marzgurl, Lupa, & Everyone else: To protect all we can no matter the cost. (Holoprojector shuts off.)
Hero: But can we do, there are thousands of thousands of Vikings attacking
TLOTA: But they don't know we're here! (Hero laughs and everyone gets excited with Spoony shouting YES! repeatedly.)
Rowdy: James, I rarely say this but damn it man you are a genius!
Hero: No wonder I went through what I did. He didn't show me any future. He showed me the future I HAD TO SEE! (Laughing as everyone else has a confused look on their face.) MA-TI if you were a woman I'd kiss you! (Laughing as the Nostalgia Critic turns to face Hero)
Conscience: Yeah, even if I were a chick, you'd have no chance
Nostalgia Critic: Wait a second! Did you just say Ma-Ti?
Naya Rivera: So what is this ingenious plan?
Hero: Those Vikings are attacking from all sides. But with what we're going to do will get them to attack each other.
TLOTA: By moving Caliverti off the map. Putting it away in a parallel pocket dimension.
Rowdy: Protecting it
Linkara: Preserving it
Hero Like....A....PAINTING! (Everyone smiles as scene cuts to inside the war room.)
General Alonzo: What is it this time?
Soldier: Someone dropped this off. (Pulls out a preservation orb and it starts to glow as images appear all over the hall.)
TLOTA: General, I am James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans inside my time device with the Rowdy Reviewer. (Scene cuts to see James' time device flying then cuts back to General Alonzo.)
Nostalgia Critic: Hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic, myself, Linkara, and several others of our associates are onboard Comicron-One! (Scene cuts to exterior of Comicron-One flying then cuts back to General Alonzo.)
Hero: Hero here with Lea Michele, Naya Rivera & Chris Colfer onboard and flying in the Vigilant! (Scene cuts to the Vigilant flying then cuts back to General Alonzo.)
Blockbuster Buster: Greetings Caliverterians, I'm E-Rod & I'm The Blockbuster Buster and I'm onboard the USS Exit Strategy. (Scene cuts to the Exit Strategy flying then cuts back to General Alonzo.)
General Alonzo: What is the meaning of this?
TLOTA: We have a plan, I'm not sure it'll work but I'm confident enough to know it has to.
General Alonzo: What plan?
Nostalgia Critic: We're going to use a preservation orb and preserve Caliverti.
General Alonzo: Are you men mad? (Cuts to James inside his time device as Rowdy prepares the Preservation Orb calculation.)
General Alonzo(Audio only): Just why would you do this madness?
TLOTA: Because the alternative to this is to watch Caliverti be wiped off the map. (Cut to the Vigilant.)
Hero: I saw it. (Cut to James' time device)
TLOTA: And I vowed to your once Queen Emmalina never to see it happen, not as long as I live. (Cut to Comicron-One.)
Nimue: All ships are moving at equidistant intervals around Caliverti!
Linkara: Excellent.
Nostalgia Critic: Equidistant, such a big word. (Cut to the war room)
General Alonzo: We'd be lost in time forever. (Cut to James' time device)
General Alonzo (Audio only): We would have nothing.
Rowdy: YOU WOULD HAVE HOPE!
TLOTA: And right now that's the one thing you don't have! (Cut to the War room)
General Alonzo: This madness you talk about, it would take hundreds upon thousands of centuries to complete. (Cut to Comicron-One)
Film Brain: It would for the average person, but we got some help in that area. (Cut to the Vigilant)
Lea Michele: A LOT of help. (Cut to James' time machine.)
TLOTA: Two men in flying armor, A team of rogue figures, several captains of ships and Thirteen Doctors! (Scene cuts to outside of Caliverti as thirteen Tardises, the ships seen in the Star Trek universe, The Millennium Falcon, Iron Man & War Machine comes into view.)
12 (Audio only): Calling the council of Caliverti. (Switches to Peter Capaldi's eyes staring into the war room.) This is the 13 doctors. (Audio of Doctor Who, Star Trek, Star Wars, Iron Man & Superman franchises about how they're on their way is heard as everyone in the war room looks to see who is helping.)
Soldier: Sir, the invaders know something is happening, their ferocity is increasing. (Audio continues of those getting involved moving forward.)
General Alonzo: Do it, Do it now all of you. (Scene cuts to James' time device.)
General Alonzo (Audio only): DO IT!
TLOTA: Okay (Cut to The Vigilant, USS Exit Strategy & Comicron one)
TLOTA (Audio only): Everyone, let's do it! (Cut to James' time device.)
TLOTA: GERONIMO! (Scene cuts to Caliverti as James' time device flies over Caliverti)
Rowdy (Audio only): WAA-HOOOOO! (Cut to Comicron-One.)
Linkara: PUNCH
Nash: THAT
Nostalgia Critic: SHIT! (Cut to USS Exit Strategy.)
Blockbuster Buster: Allons-Y! (Cut to The Vigilant.)
Hero: For the fricking love of Peat Moss! CALIVERTI STANDS! (Preservation Orbs hum as scene cuts to a blinding white light surrounding Caliverti and an inward woosh is heard then a thunderous boom as a wave moves toward the camera as scene cuts to a museum where everyone looks at the "NO MORE" art piece.)
Rowdy: So the debate is still up for grabs as to what is the title to this thing is, I take it.
Spoony: What are the titles of this thing?
Nostalgia Critic: Either "No More" or "Caliverti Falls".
Spoony: Oh.
TLOTA: Do any of you guys think we made a difference?
Hero: I hope so. It's better to succeed in trying to do what was right, than failing and doing the wrong thing!
8 Bit Mickey: Hey guys we'd better get a move on it, The curator kind of wants the janitorial staff to clean the place up so we better get going soon.
Hero: I guess you're right there Mickey. I'd better be going myself and I hope all of you can be a little more like James & Rowdy. (James & Rowdy smile as Hero walks away waving goodbye and eventually coming to a field of grass as winds pick up and Hero watches his hands glow and his body become like sand.) Of course, Did everything I could. Here's hoping the next generation can do better than I can. (Hero's body continue to be reduced to sand while he smiles as scene cuts back to the Museum.)
Spoony: Well, Uh Dr. Insano has been dealt with, I have no need for a starship.
Blockbuster Buster: DIBS!
Spoony: Well, that was handled rather quickly. So you mind if some of us take back home.
Blockbuster Buster: Sure. Linkara, can drop the rest of the guys off.
Rowdy: I'm gonna hitch a ride with James.
Lea Michele: Me Too
Naya Rivera: Same here
Chris Colfer: Ditto
Nostalgia Critic: Linkara, give me five minutes and we'll roll.
Linkara: Sure. (Everyone else walk out as Lea Michele, Naya Rivera, Chris Colfer, James & Rowdy look at the "No More" art piece)
Nostalgia Critic: So food for thought?
TLOTA: I could curate this piece. I'd be great at curating, I'd be "The Great Curator". Retire "The Last Of The Americans" persona and be the Curator of this piece.
Curator (Audio only): You know something, Curating art pieces is a fantastic job, but not everyone is cut out for it. (Everyone looks as the camera cuts to behind the Curator.)
TLOTA: I never forget someone truly fantastic. (Camera cuts to see the curator as portrayed by Christopher Eccleston)
Curator: I'm just that way I suppose and in the years to come, you'll meet more than your fair share of people like that. You were curious about this piece. President Kevin Baugh Of Molossia donated this piece for this museum. Tell me what do you make of the title?
TLOTA: Which one? There's two. "No More" & "Caliverti Falls" (Curator scoffs.)
Curator: Well, someone didn't see it the right way. It's all one title: "Caliverti Falls No More" so what do you think the title means, Eh?
TLOTA: That Caliverti didn't fall, We did it, Caliverti is still out there!
Curator: Well, I'm just a curator, I wouldn't know anything about what you're talking about.
TLOTA: Then where is it?
Curator: Good Question.
TLOTA: Yes.
Curator: Lost! Shhh! Perhaps everything does have a tendency to get lost. But you must excuse me, you guys will have a lot of work to do.
TLOTA: Really, I mean is that what I'm going to do go look for Caliverti again?
Curator: Perhaps or maybe perhaps it'll find you. If I were in your position. (Chuckles) If I were in your position or perhaps you were in my position. (Chuckles) or perhaps we're both in the same position. (James & The Curator Chuckle as Nostalgia Critic looks in shock, Rowdy has one thought on his mind & Lea, Naya & Chris Colfer are thinking the same thought.) Congratulations to you and your friends.
TLOTA: Thank you very much.
Curator: Or perhaps it doesn't matter either way. Who knows what will happen? Who Knows?
TLOTA: So, I guess we've got one more go around. What do you guys think?
Everyone else: No!
TLOTA: Oh come on tell me you guys haven't had some fun.
Nostalgia Critic: Oh yeah, screwing up the Time Space continuum finding and then just finding trouble. We're done!
TLOTA: C'mon Rowdy didn't you enjoy fighting for something bigger than yourself.
Rowdy: A little but I agree with the Critic. I'm done.
Naya Rivera: Besides you've got more important things to worry about.
Chris Colfer: Yeah, You're going back to reviewing.
TLOTA: Lea revive their sense of adventure.
Lea Michele: James Benjamin Faraci, we've got our own thing to do soon.
TLOTA: Aw Man.
Chris Colfer: Your middle name is Benjamin? I thought it would've been Adolf!
TLOTA: KNOCK IT OFF NOW! (Scene cuts to James looking around in his time device.)
TLOTA (Audio only): Lea asks if I dream of anything outside of her. "Of course I do" I reply. "What do I dream about?" she'll ask me and my reply is "Where we're going in life, the future." Lea laughs at that and says "We're going to be around for a long time, where we're going to go is anywhere we want to.". I believe that, I also believe in one thing: Hope. And now I have that and a destination. My journey now is no different than anyone else's, it's taken so much of my life but now I know what I have to do, where I want to go. A new home, the long way around. (Camera pulls back to see all of Channel Awesome, Rowdy C & everybody else)
President Baugh: Well, this is awkward.
President Baugh (D): So the solution is to do what?
President Baugh: Do something I never thought I had to. Engage final solution protocol.
Everyone else in the room: Final Solution Protocol?
President Baugh: If this vault was ever compromised I would do the only thing left to do. Blow us all to kingdom come. Sitting underneath us is twenty tons of dynamite. Though it may have looked like I set it off. The Nostalgia Critic's load was set one acre outside of Molossia this load will send us all to kingdom come and in three hours we all go kaboom! (Scene cuts to James carrying power cords to hook into the engines of the Exit Strategy. Meanwhile everyone else is adjusting the settings to adapt the Exit Strategy to James' time traveling device.)
E-Rod & Obscurus Lupa: That should do the trick.
TLOTA: Good work! E-Rod have JARVIS & ORAC amplify the frequency and signal strength to any communications device. We HAVE to get in touch within the X-Vault. Rowdy, Keep this sucker level!
Rowdy: What do you think I'm doing?! Playing Mario Kart?
TLOTA: Sorry.
(Scene cuts to the inside of the X-Vault)
TLOTA (Audio only) Calling those inside the X-Vault, I am James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, President Baugh, if you're listening, You destroy the vault & all of Molossia and this will not look good with any diplomatic advancements made between America & Molossia.
President Baugh: I'd rather wipe Molossia off the planet than have the technology be used in the wrong hands. (Scene cuts to the inside of the Exit Strategy.)
Hero: Baugh, listen it's easy to just simply do something because you have no other option. I'm currently in one myself but to destroy something because you're in a bind doesn't make things right.
ORAC: Alert all communications links have been severed.
Nostalgia Critic: Preservation Orbs. Spoony can these things be used open a portal?
Spoony: I guess.
TLOTA: Critic? What have you got cooking in your head? (Scene cuts to hours ago as Baugh is greeting everyone outside of Molossia when a phone rings and the oldest son picks up.)
Oldest son: Hello. (Cut to The Exit Strategy)
TLOTA: As soon as your father is done with showing the "No More" art piece take it to the X-Vault and BE CAREFUL. (Cut to the Oldest Son on the Phone.)
Oldest son: But how can you be on the phone when I saw you and your associates like seconds ago. (Cut to the Exit Strategy)
TLOTA: I've got a time traveling device.(Cut to the Oldest Son on the Phone.)
Oldest son: Okay. (Cut to the Exit Strategy)
TLOTA: Now that's done, all we have to do is...Find a way in. ORAC?
ORAC: I am currently finalizing the calculations, accessing temporal coordinates, locking in on Caliverti! (Scene cuts to everyone in Caliverti doing everything to get to the temporal nexus point where everyone pulls out a sonic screwdriver and slams a Viking through the glass pane in the "No More" art piece.)
Nostalgia Critic: Hello I'm The Nostalgia Critic and I remember it so you don't have to.
Nash: Sorry about the Viking.
Lea Michele: And the mess.
TLOTA: Well, you've got one hour to come to a peaceful solution otherwise, none of us are getting out alive. (Uses Sonic Screwdriver to short out The Elevator.)
President Baugh: Well we can't agree how we all can get along in peace.
President Baugh (D): So what chance do you think none of us will leave in pieces!
TLOTA: Simple. All right guys phase two! (James and Everyone who is the real deal put on sunglasses save for President Baugh & The Duplecons.) One thing I like the most is a multi-tasker so...(All who hold a sonic screwdriver flip the other end up to pull out a neuralizer and all activate the neuralizer function.) All right you're going to shut down the Final Solution Protocol and come to an agreement that will last for ages and just once, everything goes right!
President Baugh (O/D): SHUT DOWN FINAL SOLUTION PROTOCOL!
President Baugh: So we've got some discussions to get through.
President Baugh(D): Indeed.
TLOTA: Well, that's one problem solved. The other ones are going to be less difficult, I hope.
Spoony: Hey despite the fact you and your friends consider me scum for making that joke to JesuOtaku, I handled the Mary Queen Of Scots thing already.
Linkara: That leaves him...(Show empty chair)
Linkara (Audio only): Where did he go? (Cut to the abandoned Farm House with the Apocalator ready to go and Hero knowing what is about to happen when a whoosh is heard as James' time device comes in and everyone comes in.)
Hero: When did you guys know?
Nostalgia Critic: When James nodded in sadness about Caliverti.
TLOTA: All this time we thought you were wrong and maybe it was for the best we forget you because we had to. But now we know you were in the ultimate no win situation.
Linkara: A Kobayashi Maru, Damned for every decision no matter what you did. This time, you don't have to do it alone.
Hero: You'll carry this burden as much as I'll have to.
TLOTA: Not really. After all we've been through. Do you think we'd help someone take the easy way out? Everyone, step back. (James pulls out the Sonic Screwdriver and shuts off the Apocalator.)
Conscience: Smart move.
Hero: What are you doing?
TLOTA: Showing you what you're going to stop. ORAC access the Holoprojector. (Holoprojector shows everyone the people running, including children intercut with everyone either looking at everything that's happening with sadness, anger or a mix of both.)
TLOTA (Audio only): These are the people, the people that we saved, the people who once looked upon us as their saviors and now you want to wipe them off the planet. I once thought that the name you choose is a promise you made to yourself. What was that promise?
Nostalgia Critic: To protect what was good and to destroy the bad.
Hero: To never act in cowardice or in vanity and always no matter what do what was right.
Linkara, Phelous, Sci-Fi Guy, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers: To be loyal to ourselves and serve no masters
Rowdy, Film Brain, Luke Mochrie, Suede, 8-Bit Mickey, Bennett, Todd, Marzgurl, Lupa, & Everyone else: To protect all we can no matter the cost. (Holoprojector shuts off.)
Hero: But can we do, there are thousands of thousands of Vikings attacking
TLOTA: But they don't know we're here! (Hero laughs and everyone gets excited with Spoony shouting YES! repeatedly.)
Rowdy: James, I rarely say this but damn it man you are a genius!
Hero: No wonder I went through what I did. He didn't show me any future. He showed me the future I HAD TO SEE! (Laughing as everyone else has a confused look on their face.) MA-TI if you were a woman I'd kiss you! (Laughing as the Nostalgia Critic turns to face Hero)
Conscience: Yeah, even if I were a chick, you'd have no chance
Nostalgia Critic: Wait a second! Did you just say Ma-Ti?
Naya Rivera: So what is this ingenious plan?
Hero: Those Vikings are attacking from all sides. But with what we're going to do will get them to attack each other.
TLOTA: By moving Caliverti off the map. Putting it away in a parallel pocket dimension.
Rowdy: Protecting it
Linkara: Preserving it
Hero Like....A....PAINTING! (Everyone smiles as scene cuts to inside the war room.)
General Alonzo: What is it this time?
Soldier: Someone dropped this off. (Pulls out a preservation orb and it starts to glow as images appear all over the hall.)
TLOTA: General, I am James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans inside my time device with the Rowdy Reviewer. (Scene cuts to see James' time device flying then cuts back to General Alonzo.)
Nostalgia Critic: Hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic, myself, Linkara, and several others of our associates are onboard Comicron-One! (Scene cuts to exterior of Comicron-One flying then cuts back to General Alonzo.)
Hero: Hero here with Lea Michele, Naya Rivera & Chris Colfer onboard and flying in the Vigilant! (Scene cuts to the Vigilant flying then cuts back to General Alonzo.)
Blockbuster Buster: Greetings Caliverterians, I'm E-Rod & I'm The Blockbuster Buster and I'm onboard the USS Exit Strategy. (Scene cuts to the Exit Strategy flying then cuts back to General Alonzo.)
General Alonzo: What is the meaning of this?
TLOTA: We have a plan, I'm not sure it'll work but I'm confident enough to know it has to.
General Alonzo: What plan?
Nostalgia Critic: We're going to use a preservation orb and preserve Caliverti.
General Alonzo: Are you men mad? (Cuts to James inside his time device as Rowdy prepares the Preservation Orb calculation.)
General Alonzo(Audio only): Just why would you do this madness?
TLOTA: Because the alternative to this is to watch Caliverti be wiped off the map. (Cut to the Vigilant.)
Hero: I saw it. (Cut to James' time device)
TLOTA: And I vowed to your once Queen Emmalina never to see it happen, not as long as I live. (Cut to Comicron-One.)
Nimue: All ships are moving at equidistant intervals around Caliverti!
Linkara: Excellent.
Nostalgia Critic: Equidistant, such a big word. (Cut to the war room)
General Alonzo: We'd be lost in time forever. (Cut to James' time device)
General Alonzo (Audio only): We would have nothing.
Rowdy: YOU WOULD HAVE HOPE!
TLOTA: And right now that's the one thing you don't have! (Cut to the War room)
General Alonzo: This madness you talk about, it would take hundreds upon thousands of centuries to complete. (Cut to Comicron-One)
Film Brain: It would for the average person, but we got some help in that area. (Cut to the Vigilant)
Lea Michele: A LOT of help. (Cut to James' time machine.)
TLOTA: Two men in flying armor, A team of rogue figures, several captains of ships and Thirteen Doctors! (Scene cuts to outside of Caliverti as thirteen Tardises, the ships seen in the Star Trek universe, The Millennium Falcon, Iron Man & War Machine comes into view.)
12 (Audio only): Calling the council of Caliverti. (Switches to Peter Capaldi's eyes staring into the war room.) This is the 13 doctors. (Audio of Doctor Who, Star Trek, Star Wars, Iron Man & Superman franchises about how they're on their way is heard as everyone in the war room looks to see who is helping.)
Soldier: Sir, the invaders know something is happening, their ferocity is increasing. (Audio continues of those getting involved moving forward.)
General Alonzo: Do it, Do it now all of you. (Scene cuts to James' time device.)
General Alonzo (Audio only): DO IT!
TLOTA: Okay (Cut to The Vigilant, USS Exit Strategy & Comicron one)
TLOTA (Audio only): Everyone, let's do it! (Cut to James' time device.)
TLOTA: GERONIMO! (Scene cuts to Caliverti as James' time device flies over Caliverti)
Rowdy (Audio only): WAA-HOOOOO! (Cut to Comicron-One.)
Linkara: PUNCH
Nash: THAT
Nostalgia Critic: SHIT! (Cut to USS Exit Strategy.)
Blockbuster Buster: Allons-Y! (Cut to The Vigilant.)
Hero: For the fricking love of Peat Moss! CALIVERTI STANDS! (Preservation Orbs hum as scene cuts to a blinding white light surrounding Caliverti and an inward woosh is heard then a thunderous boom as a wave moves toward the camera as scene cuts to a museum where everyone looks at the "NO MORE" art piece.)
Rowdy: So the debate is still up for grabs as to what is the title to this thing is, I take it.
Spoony: What are the titles of this thing?
Nostalgia Critic: Either "No More" or "Caliverti Falls".
Spoony: Oh.
TLOTA: Do any of you guys think we made a difference?
Hero: I hope so. It's better to succeed in trying to do what was right, than failing and doing the wrong thing!
8 Bit Mickey: Hey guys we'd better get a move on it, The curator kind of wants the janitorial staff to clean the place up so we better get going soon.
Hero: I guess you're right there Mickey. I'd better be going myself and I hope all of you can be a little more like James & Rowdy. (James & Rowdy smile as Hero walks away waving goodbye and eventually coming to a field of grass as winds pick up and Hero watches his hands glow and his body become like sand.) Of course, Did everything I could. Here's hoping the next generation can do better than I can. (Hero's body continue to be reduced to sand while he smiles as scene cuts back to the Museum.)
Spoony: Well, Uh Dr. Insano has been dealt with, I have no need for a starship.
Blockbuster Buster: DIBS!
Spoony: Well, that was handled rather quickly. So you mind if some of us take back home.
Blockbuster Buster: Sure. Linkara, can drop the rest of the guys off.
Rowdy: I'm gonna hitch a ride with James.
Lea Michele: Me Too
Naya Rivera: Same here
Chris Colfer: Ditto
Nostalgia Critic: Linkara, give me five minutes and we'll roll.
Linkara: Sure. (Everyone else walk out as Lea Michele, Naya Rivera, Chris Colfer, James & Rowdy look at the "No More" art piece)
Nostalgia Critic: So food for thought?
TLOTA: I could curate this piece. I'd be great at curating, I'd be "The Great Curator". Retire "The Last Of The Americans" persona and be the Curator of this piece.
Curator (Audio only): You know something, Curating art pieces is a fantastic job, but not everyone is cut out for it. (Everyone looks as the camera cuts to behind the Curator.)
TLOTA: I never forget someone truly fantastic. (Camera cuts to see the curator as portrayed by Christopher Eccleston)
Curator: I'm just that way I suppose and in the years to come, you'll meet more than your fair share of people like that. You were curious about this piece. President Kevin Baugh Of Molossia donated this piece for this museum. Tell me what do you make of the title?
TLOTA: Which one? There's two. "No More" & "Caliverti Falls" (Curator scoffs.)
Curator: Well, someone didn't see it the right way. It's all one title: "Caliverti Falls No More" so what do you think the title means, Eh?
TLOTA: That Caliverti didn't fall, We did it, Caliverti is still out there!
Curator: Well, I'm just a curator, I wouldn't know anything about what you're talking about.
TLOTA: Then where is it?
Curator: Good Question.
TLOTA: Yes.
Curator: Lost! Shhh! Perhaps everything does have a tendency to get lost. But you must excuse me, you guys will have a lot of work to do.
TLOTA: Really, I mean is that what I'm going to do go look for Caliverti again?
Curator: Perhaps or maybe perhaps it'll find you. If I were in your position. (Chuckles) If I were in your position or perhaps you were in my position. (Chuckles) or perhaps we're both in the same position. (James & The Curator Chuckle as Nostalgia Critic looks in shock, Rowdy has one thought on his mind & Lea, Naya & Chris Colfer are thinking the same thought.) Congratulations to you and your friends.
TLOTA: Thank you very much.
Curator: Or perhaps it doesn't matter either way. Who knows what will happen? Who Knows?
TLOTA: So, I guess we've got one more go around. What do you guys think?
Everyone else: No!
TLOTA: Oh come on tell me you guys haven't had some fun.
Nostalgia Critic: Oh yeah, screwing up the Time Space continuum finding and then just finding trouble. We're done!
TLOTA: C'mon Rowdy didn't you enjoy fighting for something bigger than yourself.
Rowdy: A little but I agree with the Critic. I'm done.
Naya Rivera: Besides you've got more important things to worry about.
Chris Colfer: Yeah, You're going back to reviewing.
TLOTA: Lea revive their sense of adventure.
Lea Michele: James Benjamin Faraci, we've got our own thing to do soon.
TLOTA: Aw Man.
Chris Colfer: Your middle name is Benjamin? I thought it would've been Adolf!
TLOTA: KNOCK IT OFF NOW! (Scene cuts to James looking around in his time device.)
TLOTA (Audio only): Lea asks if I dream of anything outside of her. "Of course I do" I reply. "What do I dream about?" she'll ask me and my reply is "Where we're going in life, the future." Lea laughs at that and says "We're going to be around for a long time, where we're going to go is anywhere we want to.". I believe that, I also believe in one thing: Hope. And now I have that and a destination. My journey now is no different than anyone else's, it's taken so much of my life but now I know what I have to do, where I want to go. A new home, the long way around. (Camera pulls back to see all of Channel Awesome, Rowdy C & everybody else)
(End credits roll with the following as credited Sets
Desginged & Built by Jim Jarosz & Robert Faraci, Director Of Photography: Ed Glaser, Special FX Supervisor
Jim Troken, Main Theme by Michael “Skitch” Schiciano. Cast Doug Walker:
Nostalgia Critic/Chester A Bum/Ask That guy, Lindsay Ellis: Nostalgia Chick,
Lewis Lovhaug: Linkara, Brad Jones: Cinema
Snob, Todd Nathanson: Todd In The Shadows, Eric Rodriguez: E-Rod The
Blockbuster Buster,Chris Lee Moore: Rowdy, Rebecca Fonsecca: Emmalina, James Faraci: James Faraci, The Last
Of The Americans, Bruce Campbell: Hero, Christopher Eccleston: Curator, Jill Bearup: Mary Queen Of Scots, Lea Michele: Lea Michele, Naya Rivera: Naya Rivera, Chris Colfer: Chris Colfer, Joe Vargas: Angry Joe, Matthew Buck: Film Brain, Phelan
Porteous: Phelous, Allison Pregler: Obscurus Lupa, Nash Bozard: Nash, Bennett
White: Bennett The Sage, Luke Mochrie: Luke Mochrie, JewWario, Kaylyn Dicksion: Marzgurl, Leo Thompson: Sci-Fi Guy,
Kyle Kallgren: Oancitizen, Brian
Heinz: Priest, James Rolfe: Angry Video Game Nerd,
Benjamin Daniel: Benzaie, William DuFresne: Suede, Rachael Tietz: Rachael, Malcolm Ray: Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers Noah Antweiller:
Spoony, Bhargav Dronamraju: The Conscience. Then more crew
credited Additional FX by Jim Troken, Andrew Dickman, Allen Stephens, Script
Supervisors: James Faraci,Jillian Zurawski, Melissa Kent, CG Background &
Opening Credits by Marek Wodzinski, Christy Romano’s Mermaid tail provided by
The Mertailor Eric Ducharme, Mermaid Wranglers: Rob Walker, Melissa Kent,
Jillian Zurawski, Matthew Buck & Eric Ducharme, Post Lighting effects by
Rob Walker & Jim Troken, Props by Jim Jarosz, Justin Barnes, Terrence
Dellinger, Ghostbusters Chicago Division, Additional Music from musicloops.com,
Proscores, Kevin Macleod, Classical Pieces Special Thanks To We Shot
First(Justin Barnes, Haley Barnes & Terrence Dellinger), Jim Jarosz, Ed
Glaser, Rob Walker, Jillian Zurawski, Jamez & Carrie, Mike Michaud, Holly
Christine Brown, Ghostbusters Chicago Division, Chris Lee Moore,
Rebecca Fonsecca, James Faraci, Erin Walker, Robin Walker, Eric Ducharme, Everyone
who worked their ASSES off in making this film. Thank You so VERY much for your
dedication to this madness. Post End Credit scene of Doctor Insano from first person perspective.)
Dr. Insano: D'oh, Where am I? Huh? What's this? (Pulls note off of his lab jacket) "You've become too much of a threat, so I decided it was best for you to be banished to 1560. If you hear Mary Queen Of Scots, Drink the formula on the ground in front of you. Good luck, God & Science speed. Spoony." OH SON OF A BITCH!
Mary Queen Of Scots(Audio only): My Love?
Dr. Insano: Crap, um, uh, Ah-Ha! (Opens the vial for the formula and camera shakes uncontrollably as a white light engulfs Dr. Insano and Mary Queen Of Scots finds Dr. Insano.)
Mary Queen Of Scots: Ah there you are, I've met this wonderful man, an Alchemist called Aeon he wishes to show us something he calls Science. Would that pique your interests? (Camera pans to see Dr. Insano looking and dressed like the painted image from the Art Vault.)
Dr. Insano: That would be a delightful idea, let us be on our way my dear. (The two walk back to the castle as the camera goes up to see the Castle of Mary Queen of Scots then cuts to black and Channel Awesome Mark Two closing
credit.)
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
The Day Of The Hero Part 5
(Scene starts in the Art vault as Tamara sees she's surrounded by Duplecons when she dupes 99% of the fleet to the elevator. Scene cuts to Malcolm holding off the two Duplecons with his Martial Arts skills as the Duplecon fleet makes their way. Scene cuts to Chris & Naya inside James' time machine)
Chris Colfer: Computer access ORAC!
Naya Rivera: This isn't Star Trek. (Naya accesses storage panel, lifts ORAC out of the storage hold.) All right ORAC, access the time machine set coordinates to Scotland 1560 right outside the castle of Mary Queen Of Scots. (ORAC does nothing.)
Chris Colfer: Why isn't it working? Something is missing.
Naya Rivera: I think I may have found it. (Naya finds ORAC's activation key) Here we go! (Naya activates ORAC) ORAC, Access this time device, set the coordinates to Scotland 1560 right outside of Mary Queen Of Scots castle.
ORAC: All preparations have been made, all you and Chris must do is turn the two keys next to the keypad at the same time!
Chris Colfer (Audio only): OVER HERE! (Naya runs to see Chris has inserted the keys.)
Chris Colfer: Nothing is working! ORAC!
ORAC (Audio only): Turn the key on the right clockwise and the one on the left counterclockwise!
Naya Rivera: Makes sense. On three.
Chris Colfer & Naya Rivera: One, Two, THREE! (Time machine whirs and a white light flashes as scene cuts to the Art Vault as Tamara and the Duplecon quickly morphs into her.)
Tamara: Okay whatever it is you want, there must be someway we can work this out.
Tamara (D): Oh there's a way. Have Baugh surrender Molossia, then have the President surrender The United States and all the world leaders surrender their countries and lands to Doctor Insano.
Tamara: Doctor Who?
Tamara (D): Not that Doctor, Doctor Insano. A genius, mad maybe, but a genius never the less. But you on the other hand well...(Camera pans the backside of Tamara as a morphing noise is heard and Rachel Tietz is seen)
Rachel: But you know what? A LOT of insecurities ran through you. Rachel threw you a bone by putting you in the "Catwoman" review then replacing her. You are so naïve.
Tamara: Maybe, but I've got something you don't have.
Rachel: And that is...
Tamara: Courage and (Pulls a Sonic Concussion Blaster) This! (Pulls the trigger, disintegrating the Duplecon and muffled screams are heard as Tamara runs to find President Baugh & Mara Wilson covered in Duplecon Splooge and gets them loose.)
Mara Wilson: Ugh, haven't been in anything this disturbing since "A Simple Wish" (Mara gags for a second.)
President Baugh: Those things what are they?
Tamara: Duplecons and they want to take over the world.
President Baugh: Of course.
Tamara: They're being held off as best as they could by Malcolm in the X-Vault.
President Baugh: Well what are we waiting for let's get to it! (Scene cuts to the Dungeon where everyone else is waiting.)
Film Brain: Has anyone come up with someway to escape? (Lea Michele, E-Rod, Chris Colfer & Naya Rivera bust in through the door.) How did you do that?
Lea Michele: The door wasn't locked.
TLOTA: Oh! Well! All righty then.
Naya Rivera: Hold up, ALL of you guys were in here and no one thought about opening the door?
Nostalgia Critic: We thought it was locked!
Chris Colfer: You know Nazi boy, you need to find people who are more intelligent.
TLOTA: Colfer, Knock it off.
Spoony: Wait why do you call him "Nazi Boy"?
Chris Colfer: He's a conservative republican and as we all know Republicans are Nazis! (Everyone looks at James.)
TLOTA: Can we get going, PLEASE!
Mary Queen Of Scots(Audio only): Exactly what I was thinking. (Mary Queen Of Scots appears with several Duplecons.)
Lea Michele: Well, we're screwed! (Everyone follows Mary Queen Of Scots and several Duplecons)
Mary Queen Of Scots: Now go and prepare to seal yourself in the Art pieces.
TLOTA: Well, We know what happened. Duplecons sealed themselves in art pieces via preservation orbs.
Spoony: Wait you know about Preservation Orbs?
TLOTA: Trust me Insano's technology was on my radar. This was one of his more intelligent moves.
Spoony: Well, I knew that you weren't the real Bloody Mary. You couldn't even get her voice in the right way.
Linkara: Uh Spoony, according to this scanner, that's the real deal.
Spoony: Oh Uh, Well you understand I was just testing both you and me.
Mary Queen Of Scots: Well as my Rival that Queen Elizabeth I said "I know I have the body of a weak & feeble woman. But I have the heart & stomach of a King." As did that Duplecon until I used this dagger through it's skin.
Spoony: Wow, No wonder you have the nickname of Bloody Mary. Something I would find amazing in a woman I'd be with for the rest of my life. (Scene cuts to inside grounds of the castle where a priest is marrying Spoony & Mary Queen Of Scots.)
Priest: By the power vested to me by the Holy Catholic Church I pronounce that you be man & wife together. You may kiss the bride! (Everyone shouts Woo-Hoo! as Lea and all the ladies throw flower petals and everyone else is just in cool mode.)
Spoony: Look I have something I need to take care of real quick. (Spoony runs to the USS Exit Strategy and everyone follows save for Mary Queen Of Scots and the priest as everyone sees the new interior of The Exit Strategy.)
Nostalgia Critic: Oh hey, you redecorated...
TLOTA: Looks like a perv did this.
Lea Michele: Okay what is up with the Perv crap?
TLOTA: He made a joke about kidnapping and continually raping a female contributor to the thatguywiththeglasses.com.
Spoony: At least everyone with a sense of humor took it for what it was worth, A JOKE.
Naya Rivera: Seriously, No one & I MEAN NO ONE WITH A REAL SENSE OF HUMOR FINDS RAPING & KIDNAPPING WOMEN IS FUNNY! (USS Exit Strategy shakes and stumbles as it flies.)
TLOTA: Something's wrong, Ah I know where! (James runs to Engineering) You've got to be kidding me?! You landed my time traveling device in Engineering and the engines are still running! (Cut to James inside his time traveling device) ORAC, Shut off the engines.
ORAC: I was hoping to help expedite thing by getting back to the X-Vault before something bad happens.
TLOTA: Well you can do that by hooking the power to the Exit Strategy. Why do we have to get to the X-Vault?
ORAC: Because if we can not get there, there will be nothing to get to. (James looks as everyone else hears the news as well.)
TO BE CONTINUED!
Chris Colfer: Computer access ORAC!
Naya Rivera: This isn't Star Trek. (Naya accesses storage panel, lifts ORAC out of the storage hold.) All right ORAC, access the time machine set coordinates to Scotland 1560 right outside the castle of Mary Queen Of Scots. (ORAC does nothing.)
Chris Colfer: Why isn't it working? Something is missing.
Naya Rivera: I think I may have found it. (Naya finds ORAC's activation key) Here we go! (Naya activates ORAC) ORAC, Access this time device, set the coordinates to Scotland 1560 right outside of Mary Queen Of Scots castle.
ORAC: All preparations have been made, all you and Chris must do is turn the two keys next to the keypad at the same time!
Chris Colfer (Audio only): OVER HERE! (Naya runs to see Chris has inserted the keys.)
Chris Colfer: Nothing is working! ORAC!
ORAC (Audio only): Turn the key on the right clockwise and the one on the left counterclockwise!
Naya Rivera: Makes sense. On three.
Chris Colfer & Naya Rivera: One, Two, THREE! (Time machine whirs and a white light flashes as scene cuts to the Art Vault as Tamara and the Duplecon quickly morphs into her.)
Tamara: Okay whatever it is you want, there must be someway we can work this out.
Tamara (D): Oh there's a way. Have Baugh surrender Molossia, then have the President surrender The United States and all the world leaders surrender their countries and lands to Doctor Insano.
Tamara: Doctor Who?
Tamara (D): Not that Doctor, Doctor Insano. A genius, mad maybe, but a genius never the less. But you on the other hand well...(Camera pans the backside of Tamara as a morphing noise is heard and Rachel Tietz is seen)
Rachel: But you know what? A LOT of insecurities ran through you. Rachel threw you a bone by putting you in the "Catwoman" review then replacing her. You are so naïve.
Tamara: Maybe, but I've got something you don't have.
Rachel: And that is...
Tamara: Courage and (Pulls a Sonic Concussion Blaster) This! (Pulls the trigger, disintegrating the Duplecon and muffled screams are heard as Tamara runs to find President Baugh & Mara Wilson covered in Duplecon Splooge and gets them loose.)
Mara Wilson: Ugh, haven't been in anything this disturbing since "A Simple Wish" (Mara gags for a second.)
President Baugh: Those things what are they?
Tamara: Duplecons and they want to take over the world.
President Baugh: Of course.
Tamara: They're being held off as best as they could by Malcolm in the X-Vault.
President Baugh: Well what are we waiting for let's get to it! (Scene cuts to the Dungeon where everyone else is waiting.)
Film Brain: Has anyone come up with someway to escape? (Lea Michele, E-Rod, Chris Colfer & Naya Rivera bust in through the door.) How did you do that?
Lea Michele: The door wasn't locked.
TLOTA: Oh! Well! All righty then.
Naya Rivera: Hold up, ALL of you guys were in here and no one thought about opening the door?
Nostalgia Critic: We thought it was locked!
Chris Colfer: You know Nazi boy, you need to find people who are more intelligent.
TLOTA: Colfer, Knock it off.
Spoony: Wait why do you call him "Nazi Boy"?
Chris Colfer: He's a conservative republican and as we all know Republicans are Nazis! (Everyone looks at James.)
TLOTA: Can we get going, PLEASE!
Mary Queen Of Scots(Audio only): Exactly what I was thinking. (Mary Queen Of Scots appears with several Duplecons.)
Lea Michele: Well, we're screwed! (Everyone follows Mary Queen Of Scots and several Duplecons)
Mary Queen Of Scots: Now go and prepare to seal yourself in the Art pieces.
TLOTA: Well, We know what happened. Duplecons sealed themselves in art pieces via preservation orbs.
Spoony: Wait you know about Preservation Orbs?
TLOTA: Trust me Insano's technology was on my radar. This was one of his more intelligent moves.
Spoony: Well, I knew that you weren't the real Bloody Mary. You couldn't even get her voice in the right way.
Linkara: Uh Spoony, according to this scanner, that's the real deal.
Spoony: Oh Uh, Well you understand I was just testing both you and me.
Mary Queen Of Scots: Well as my Rival that Queen Elizabeth I said "I know I have the body of a weak & feeble woman. But I have the heart & stomach of a King." As did that Duplecon until I used this dagger through it's skin.
Spoony: Wow, No wonder you have the nickname of Bloody Mary. Something I would find amazing in a woman I'd be with for the rest of my life. (Scene cuts to inside grounds of the castle where a priest is marrying Spoony & Mary Queen Of Scots.)
Priest: By the power vested to me by the Holy Catholic Church I pronounce that you be man & wife together. You may kiss the bride! (Everyone shouts Woo-Hoo! as Lea and all the ladies throw flower petals and everyone else is just in cool mode.)
Spoony: Look I have something I need to take care of real quick. (Spoony runs to the USS Exit Strategy and everyone follows save for Mary Queen Of Scots and the priest as everyone sees the new interior of The Exit Strategy.)
Nostalgia Critic: Oh hey, you redecorated...
TLOTA: Looks like a perv did this.
Lea Michele: Okay what is up with the Perv crap?
TLOTA: He made a joke about kidnapping and continually raping a female contributor to the thatguywiththeglasses.com.
Spoony: At least everyone with a sense of humor took it for what it was worth, A JOKE.
Naya Rivera: Seriously, No one & I MEAN NO ONE WITH A REAL SENSE OF HUMOR FINDS RAPING & KIDNAPPING WOMEN IS FUNNY! (USS Exit Strategy shakes and stumbles as it flies.)
TLOTA: Something's wrong, Ah I know where! (James runs to Engineering) You've got to be kidding me?! You landed my time traveling device in Engineering and the engines are still running! (Cut to James inside his time traveling device) ORAC, Shut off the engines.
ORAC: I was hoping to help expedite thing by getting back to the X-Vault before something bad happens.
TLOTA: Well you can do that by hooking the power to the Exit Strategy. Why do we have to get to the X-Vault?
ORAC: Because if we can not get there, there will be nothing to get to. (James looks as everyone else hears the news as well.)
TO BE CONTINUED!
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
The Day Of The Hero Part 4
(Scene starts at a set of elevator doors opening up where Mara Wilson, President Baugh, E-Rod, Malcolm, Tamara, Lea Michele, Naya Rivera & Chris Colfer walk through to a hallway.)
President Baugh: This is the X Vault. Memory filters surround the hall and the vault itself so that way everything is secured and while your associate's tagline is "I remember it so you don't have to." These will make sure no one must remembers anything within this place because it must be this way. (Everyone walks down the hallway when E-Rod's smartphone goes off and he discovers on the caller ID that it's JARVIS and signals everyone else that he'll be along in a few minutes.)
Blockbuster Buster: All right JARVIS it better be good.
JARVIS: I suggest you take our conversation off the speaker function.(E-Rod takes the call off of the smartphone.)
Blockbuster Buster: Make it quick.
JARVIS: I was able to track you down through your cellular number and opened a line of communication. I overheard someone say the following: "Duplecon" & "Doctor Insano". After successfully locating and hacking Dr. Insano's database on the subject of Duplecon I discovered they could successfully copy themselves to be anyone, their true form is that of Porcupine Quills, Blue Skin & Silver teeth which are coated in a lethal poison. I am going to download a program into your battle glasses to help you detect which are real and which ones are Duplecons. Be careful sir.
Blockbuster Buster: Thanks JARVIS. (E-Rod rejoins the group as scene cuts to everyone else inside a dungeon and James is fiddling around with his Sonic Screwdriver and Rowdy's Phone.)
Rowdy: So what do you hope to accomplish with that Sonic Screwdriver and my Phone?
TLOTA: Hopefully The Sonic function in this thing can act as a Temporal Satellite.
Everyone else: Wha?
TLOTA: Once I do what I have to do, it will carry the signal back to the 21st century to the person I hope will this will work.
Angry Joe: So what do we do to pass the time away? (8-Bit Mickey pulls out a Harmonica and starts playing "Nobody Knows The Trouble I've seen" and Joe grabbing & throwing away the Harmonica only for 8-Bit Mickey to pull out another one only for Joe to get angrier and eventually throwing his other Harmonica away only for 8 Bit Mickey to pull a large Harmonica just to play "Nobody Knows The Trouble I've seen" and everyone groan in misery)
8 Bit Mickey: Well What did you guys expect?
Hero: Oh I don't know maybe something intelligent to break up the "Timey Wimey" isn't what you called it uh?
TLOTA: James
Hero: Right. (As several Channel Awesome members & Spoony pace back & forth The Conscience sits and enjoys everything and Hero looks as The Conscience says "Shhh!")
The Conscience: They can't see or hear me ask if one of them knows your legend.
Hero: Say just out of curiosity, do any of you guys know the legend of Hero? (Everyone one by one says no until TLOTA says yes.)
Nostalgia Critic: You meant to say no right?
TLOTA: Unfortunately for everyone here, I do know. Hero was an ordinary guy back in the days of the ancient gods before the Greek Pantheon. All his days were devoted to helping people for no other reason except for one reason, because it was right. He did deeds no matter how big or how small for the same reason because it was right. In his early days Zeus saw what Hero had done & proceeded to make Hero Immortal. The only way Hero could ever die is if he were to do something so incredible that he'd be free from Immortality and go to the heavens where he can be at peace. But he did something wrong instead, he wound up on Caliverti during it's final days.
Sci-Fi Guy: Wait a second, you mean to tell us what we did last year had no bearing on it's fate?
TLOTA: I didn't say that. Everything ends eventually and Hero was the one to end Caliverti's time on this planet. A great war broke out and he did the one thing even he was incapable of.
Hero: Which was what?
TLOTA: No one needs to know what happened.
The Conscience: I know what is going to happen. You are going to do something so horrible that it'll destroy you and you will know no peace. Ask how many children died on the last day of Caliverti?
Hero: He destroyed Caliverti didn't he James. (TLOTA nods with sadness in his face.) How many of those lives were that of children.
TLOTA: 999,428 and a half.
Marzgurl: How did you know that and why a half ?
TLOTA: Well Marzgurl, You know how the Critic's catchphrase is "I remember it so you don't have to."?
Marzgurl: Yeah
TLOTA: Well I remember everything because I have no choice, part of my existence is to never forget a damned thing for as long as I live & the reason I added that half was for all the children who were about to be born when Caliverti was destroyed. (Everyone either has the look of either sadness or shock as James said that as Scene cuts to the inside of The X Vault where E-Rod, Malcolm, Tamara, Lea Michele, Chris Colfer and Naya Rivera look at a wrist strap with a device on it.)
President Baugh: The time space manipulator. It has never fully functioned. There was a code to activate this but it's been lost in time. (Lea Michele's smartphone rings.)
Mara Wilson: Okay I'll admit THAT is impressive service range.
Lea Michele: It's a text, but I can't figure it out.
Chris Colfer: Maybe it's Nazi German!
Lea Michele: I thought we had discussed this, James is a human, being a republican maybe the only quality I DON'T like about him but all in all he is a good person. Naya can you figure it out?
Naya Rivera: Why not hand it over to Baugh?
Blockbuster Buster: Because giving a Duplecon the code to a time space manipulator was as bad a decision as it was to bring a knife to a gun fight!
Mara Wilson: I was wondering when you and your friends were going to figure it out. (Mara Wilson and President Baugh spit a blue colored viscous liquid and proceed to shake uncontrollably as E-Rod, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers, Lea Michele, Naya Rivera & Chris Colfer run into the room with the Time Space Manipulator as they reveal themselves to be Duplecons.)
Naya Rivera: Okay, that's it next time this year, we're going to Puerto Rico.
Blockbuster Buster: I grew up there. (Porcupine Quill pierces the door as Lea whispers into E-Rod's ear. E-Rod nods and grabs the Time Space Manipulator.)
Tamara: What do we do now?
Lea Michele: Malcolm, see what you can do to hold off the Duplecons, Tamara, Find Mara Wilson and President Baugh it's a possibility they're still in the art vault. Chris, Naya, James' time device is inside the bunker along with ORAC. The flash from this thing should be enough to blind the Duplecons long enough to get James' plan in action. Everybody ready?
Malcolm: We're as ready as we'll ever be!
Lea Michele: Chris, Naya, See ya in Scotland 1560! (Lea Michele enters the code and sets the coordinates to Scotland 1560 and activates it setting off a blinding flash.)
TO BE CONTINUED
President Baugh: This is the X Vault. Memory filters surround the hall and the vault itself so that way everything is secured and while your associate's tagline is "I remember it so you don't have to." These will make sure no one must remembers anything within this place because it must be this way. (Everyone walks down the hallway when E-Rod's smartphone goes off and he discovers on the caller ID that it's JARVIS and signals everyone else that he'll be along in a few minutes.)
Blockbuster Buster: All right JARVIS it better be good.
JARVIS: I suggest you take our conversation off the speaker function.(E-Rod takes the call off of the smartphone.)
Blockbuster Buster: Make it quick.
JARVIS: I was able to track you down through your cellular number and opened a line of communication. I overheard someone say the following: "Duplecon" & "Doctor Insano". After successfully locating and hacking Dr. Insano's database on the subject of Duplecon I discovered they could successfully copy themselves to be anyone, their true form is that of Porcupine Quills, Blue Skin & Silver teeth which are coated in a lethal poison. I am going to download a program into your battle glasses to help you detect which are real and which ones are Duplecons. Be careful sir.
Blockbuster Buster: Thanks JARVIS. (E-Rod rejoins the group as scene cuts to everyone else inside a dungeon and James is fiddling around with his Sonic Screwdriver and Rowdy's Phone.)
Rowdy: So what do you hope to accomplish with that Sonic Screwdriver and my Phone?
TLOTA: Hopefully The Sonic function in this thing can act as a Temporal Satellite.
Everyone else: Wha?
TLOTA: Once I do what I have to do, it will carry the signal back to the 21st century to the person I hope will this will work.
Angry Joe: So what do we do to pass the time away? (8-Bit Mickey pulls out a Harmonica and starts playing "Nobody Knows The Trouble I've seen" and Joe grabbing & throwing away the Harmonica only for 8-Bit Mickey to pull out another one only for Joe to get angrier and eventually throwing his other Harmonica away only for 8 Bit Mickey to pull a large Harmonica just to play "Nobody Knows The Trouble I've seen" and everyone groan in misery)
8 Bit Mickey: Well What did you guys expect?
Hero: Oh I don't know maybe something intelligent to break up the "Timey Wimey" isn't what you called it uh?
TLOTA: James
Hero: Right. (As several Channel Awesome members & Spoony pace back & forth The Conscience sits and enjoys everything and Hero looks as The Conscience says "Shhh!")
The Conscience: They can't see or hear me ask if one of them knows your legend.
Hero: Say just out of curiosity, do any of you guys know the legend of Hero? (Everyone one by one says no until TLOTA says yes.)
Nostalgia Critic: You meant to say no right?
TLOTA: Unfortunately for everyone here, I do know. Hero was an ordinary guy back in the days of the ancient gods before the Greek Pantheon. All his days were devoted to helping people for no other reason except for one reason, because it was right. He did deeds no matter how big or how small for the same reason because it was right. In his early days Zeus saw what Hero had done & proceeded to make Hero Immortal. The only way Hero could ever die is if he were to do something so incredible that he'd be free from Immortality and go to the heavens where he can be at peace. But he did something wrong instead, he wound up on Caliverti during it's final days.
Sci-Fi Guy: Wait a second, you mean to tell us what we did last year had no bearing on it's fate?
TLOTA: I didn't say that. Everything ends eventually and Hero was the one to end Caliverti's time on this planet. A great war broke out and he did the one thing even he was incapable of.
Hero: Which was what?
TLOTA: No one needs to know what happened.
The Conscience: I know what is going to happen. You are going to do something so horrible that it'll destroy you and you will know no peace. Ask how many children died on the last day of Caliverti?
Hero: He destroyed Caliverti didn't he James. (TLOTA nods with sadness in his face.) How many of those lives were that of children.
TLOTA: 999,428 and a half.
Marzgurl: How did you know that and why a half ?
TLOTA: Well Marzgurl, You know how the Critic's catchphrase is "I remember it so you don't have to."?
Marzgurl: Yeah
TLOTA: Well I remember everything because I have no choice, part of my existence is to never forget a damned thing for as long as I live & the reason I added that half was for all the children who were about to be born when Caliverti was destroyed. (Everyone either has the look of either sadness or shock as James said that as Scene cuts to the inside of The X Vault where E-Rod, Malcolm, Tamara, Lea Michele, Chris Colfer and Naya Rivera look at a wrist strap with a device on it.)
President Baugh: The time space manipulator. It has never fully functioned. There was a code to activate this but it's been lost in time. (Lea Michele's smartphone rings.)
Mara Wilson: Okay I'll admit THAT is impressive service range.
Lea Michele: It's a text, but I can't figure it out.
Chris Colfer: Maybe it's Nazi German!
Lea Michele: I thought we had discussed this, James is a human, being a republican maybe the only quality I DON'T like about him but all in all he is a good person. Naya can you figure it out?
Naya Rivera: Why not hand it over to Baugh?
Blockbuster Buster: Because giving a Duplecon the code to a time space manipulator was as bad a decision as it was to bring a knife to a gun fight!
Mara Wilson: I was wondering when you and your friends were going to figure it out. (Mara Wilson and President Baugh spit a blue colored viscous liquid and proceed to shake uncontrollably as E-Rod, Malcolm Ray, Tamara Chambers, Lea Michele, Naya Rivera & Chris Colfer run into the room with the Time Space Manipulator as they reveal themselves to be Duplecons.)
Naya Rivera: Okay, that's it next time this year, we're going to Puerto Rico.
Blockbuster Buster: I grew up there. (Porcupine Quill pierces the door as Lea whispers into E-Rod's ear. E-Rod nods and grabs the Time Space Manipulator.)
Tamara: What do we do now?
Lea Michele: Malcolm, see what you can do to hold off the Duplecons, Tamara, Find Mara Wilson and President Baugh it's a possibility they're still in the art vault. Chris, Naya, James' time device is inside the bunker along with ORAC. The flash from this thing should be enough to blind the Duplecons long enough to get James' plan in action. Everybody ready?
Malcolm: We're as ready as we'll ever be!
Lea Michele: Chris, Naya, See ya in Scotland 1560! (Lea Michele enters the code and sets the coordinates to Scotland 1560 and activates it setting off a blinding flash.)
TO BE CONTINUED
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