(0:36 until the end of the 1994 American Gladiators theme plays as it cuts to James as he morphs into The Last Of The Americans with the half team TLOTA
on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the
slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Fade cut to James in his
room at his house)
TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and Yeah still at home, and yeah even after my mental meltdown earlier this month, I'm still going just like a great white shark. Speaking of them, Have I ever said anything about the JAWS movies? (Cut to clips from all four of the "JAWS" movies as James does a voiceover)
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and Yeah still at home, and yeah even after my mental meltdown earlier this month, I'm still going just like a great white shark. Speaking of them, Have I ever said anything about the JAWS movies? (Cut to clips from all four of the "JAWS" movies as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
And really there is a bit to like about all of them whether it's the original which had Roy Scheider as Chief Brody, Richard Dreyfuss as Matt Hooper and Robert Shaw as Quint taking on a gigantic Great White Shark that would dwarf the longest dock in the fictional Amity Island, the first sequel that had the burned shark and Chief Brody dealing with PTSD from the firstshark attack, The laughable Three Dimensional effects, story and of course Dennis Quaid in JAWS 3D, then of course there is the ridiculously hilarious melodrama and of course Michael Caine in JAWS: The Revenge. All four sprung from the story by Peter Benchley about a great white shark that decides to territorialize itself to the fictional Amity Island where it is up to local Fisherman Quint, Police Chief Brody and Marine Biologist Hooper to stop the shark and today I'm going to count down ten of the dumbest moments from all four of these movies! There will be spoilers, laughs and other moments that'll leave you wondering what they were thinking when it came to the fate of poor Bruce! (Cut to James in his room)
And really there is a bit to like about all of them whether it's the original which had Roy Scheider as Chief Brody, Richard Dreyfuss as Matt Hooper and Robert Shaw as Quint taking on a gigantic Great White Shark that would dwarf the longest dock in the fictional Amity Island, the first sequel that had the burned shark and Chief Brody dealing with PTSD from the firstshark attack, The laughable Three Dimensional effects, story and of course Dennis Quaid in JAWS 3D, then of course there is the ridiculously hilarious melodrama and of course Michael Caine in JAWS: The Revenge. All four sprung from the story by Peter Benchley about a great white shark that decides to territorialize itself to the fictional Amity Island where it is up to local Fisherman Quint, Police Chief Brody and Marine Biologist Hooper to stop the shark and today I'm going to count down ten of the dumbest moments from all four of these movies! There will be spoilers, laughs and other moments that'll leave you wondering what they were thinking when it came to the fate of poor Bruce! (Cut to James in his room)
TLOTA:
So let's put the man in the cage, put the cage in the water, put the man in the water because the shark is in the water! Our shark and enjoy the top ten Dumbest moments from The JAWS movies! (Cut to an underwater scene as the John Williams "JAWS" theme as James says "Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! This is totally dumb!" as different dumb scenes from the JAWS movies play over the underwater scene only for the music to reach it's crescendo it cuts to the ending of the first movie as Chief Brody shouts "Smile you son of a..." fires the gun and the Shark blows up and the words "The Top 10 Dumbest moments in the "JAWS" movies" appear then disappear and the number appears)
So let's put the man in the cage, put the cage in the water, put the man in the water because the shark is in the water! Our shark and enjoy the top ten Dumbest moments from The JAWS movies! (Cut to an underwater scene as the John Williams "JAWS" theme as James says "Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! This is totally dumb!" as different dumb scenes from the JAWS movies play over the underwater scene only for the music to reach it's crescendo it cuts to the ending of the first movie as Chief Brody shouts "Smile you son of a..." fires the gun and the Shark blows up and the words "The Top 10 Dumbest moments in the "JAWS" movies" appear then disappear and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover): Number 10
10) The title of "JAWS: The Revenge"
(Cut to "JAWS The Revenge" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Just what is the title about? Is it a relative of the shark that's getting revenge on the Brodys for what happened in the first three movies? Is it about Ellen Brody vowing revenge on the shark that killed Sean? I don't know! The title of the last movie makes no sense. (Cut to "Siskel & Ebert" review of "JAWS: The Revenge" as they talk about the title and James does a voiceover)
Just what is the title about? Is it a relative of the shark that's getting revenge on the Brodys for what happened in the first three movies? Is it about Ellen Brody vowing revenge on the shark that killed Sean? I don't know! The title of the last movie makes no sense. (Cut to "Siskel & Ebert" review of "JAWS: The Revenge" as they talk about the title and James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Even Siskel and Ebert talked about how ridiculous the title is. (Show the Siskel & Ebert review of "JAWS: The Revenge" as they talk about how nonsensical the title is. Cut to "JAWS: The Revenge" as James does a voiceover)
Even Siskel and Ebert talked about how ridiculous the title is. (Show the Siskel & Ebert review of "JAWS: The Revenge" as they talk about how nonsensical the title is. Cut to "JAWS: The Revenge" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
A dumb title that sank the movie franchise that made no sense and made people go back to the water.
A dumb title that sank the movie franchise that made no sense and made people go back to the water.
(Cut to the ending of the first movie as Chief Brody shouts "Smile you son of a..." fires the gun and the Shark blows up and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover): Number 9
9) How Quint buys it! in "JAWS"
(Cut to "JAWS" as James does a voiceover)
(Cut to "JAWS" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA(Voiceover):
Don't get me wrong, I Love how Quint buys it it's very brutal but very kind of silly in a way! But I think the fact he foretold how the shark would attack him is ridiculous. On top of that how Quint died is kind of silly. The Shark attacks the ORCA taking out the stern end of the boat as Brody and Quint try to hide in the cabin as the shark sinks the boat! A loose oxygen tank pinches Quint's hand and he loses his grip sliding down the mouth and I'll let Quint say how the shark ends him. (Show the clip of Quint as to how a shark kills intercut to Quint's death. Cut to "JAWS" as James does a voiceover)
Don't get me wrong, I Love how Quint buys it it's very brutal but very kind of silly in a way! But I think the fact he foretold how the shark would attack him is ridiculous. On top of that how Quint died is kind of silly. The Shark attacks the ORCA taking out the stern end of the boat as Brody and Quint try to hide in the cabin as the shark sinks the boat! A loose oxygen tank pinches Quint's hand and he loses his grip sliding down the mouth and I'll let Quint say how the shark ends him. (Show the clip of Quint as to how a shark kills intercut to Quint's death. Cut to "JAWS" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Nothing left to say except what Chief Brody said apropos!
Nothing left to say except what Chief Brody said apropos!
(Cut to Chief Brody as he says "You're gonna need a bigger boat!". Cut to the ending of the first movie as Chief Brody shouts "Smile you son of a..." fires the gun and the Shark blows up and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover): Number 8
8) The aging of Michael and Sean Brody
(Cut to clips of the "JAWS" movies where Sean and Michael Brody are growing up as James does a voiceover)
(Cut to clips of the "JAWS" movies where Sean and Michael Brody are growing up as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Much like how in the "Rocky" movies when it comes to the aging of Rocky's kid, the aging of Michael and Sean Brody is wonky and makes no sense! In the first "JAWS" movie Sean is approximately 3-5 years old and Michael is 9-12 years old. Then in "JAWS 2" Michael is just a shave away from being out of High School and Sean is now a middle schooler roughly 7-9 years old. In "JAWS 3/3D" They're in their early twenties! and when "JAWS: The Revenge" happened Michael is in his late 20's early 30's and as for Sean! (Show clip of Sean Brody's death and James says "Never mind!". Cut to the two as they get older as James does a voiceover)
Much like how in the "Rocky" movies when it comes to the aging of Rocky's kid, the aging of Michael and Sean Brody is wonky and makes no sense! In the first "JAWS" movie Sean is approximately 3-5 years old and Michael is 9-12 years old. Then in "JAWS 2" Michael is just a shave away from being out of High School and Sean is now a middle schooler roughly 7-9 years old. In "JAWS 3/3D" They're in their early twenties! and when "JAWS: The Revenge" happened Michael is in his late 20's early 30's and as for Sean! (Show clip of Sean Brody's death and James says "Never mind!". Cut to the two as they get older as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
While it's not as extremely dumb as say how Robert "Rocky Jr" Balboa got from an infant to a teen in the span of a few "Rocky"movies, it does take a leap of logic especially since according to the people who made "JAWS 2" that it happened not long AFTER the first movie! DOES TIME MOVE QUICKER IN MOVIES?! Not nearly the few years after the first one. Yeah it's a dumb thing to complain about but not as dumb as what we're going to be dealing with in the number 7 slot.
While it's not as extremely dumb as say how Robert "Rocky Jr" Balboa got from an infant to a teen in the span of a few "Rocky"movies, it does take a leap of logic especially since according to the people who made "JAWS 2" that it happened not long AFTER the first movie! DOES TIME MOVE QUICKER IN MOVIES?! Not nearly the few years after the first one. Yeah it's a dumb thing to complain about but not as dumb as what we're going to be dealing with in the number 7 slot.
(Cut to the ending of the first movie as Chief Brody shouts "Smile you son of a..." fires the gun and the Shark blows up and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover): Number 7
7) The Burned Shark from "JAWS 2"
(Cut to every scene of "JAWS 2" with the burned shark as James does a voiceover)
(Cut to every scene of "JAWS 2" with the burned shark as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA(Voiceover):
Remember how "The Joker" in "Batman: The Dark Knight" constantly asked everyone how he got his scars? Well in the case of "JAWS 2", it's because a very dumb female boater after the shark killed a friend dumped gasoline on herself and the shark then fired a flair gun on the boat burning herself to death burning the shark and blowing the whole damned thing up straight to hell. What's crazier is the fact the burned shark survived to terrorize everyone, take a bite out of an Orca, subtle nod and killed more teens as if this was a slasher pic! WOW, there's jumping the shark then there's this!
Remember how "The Joker" in "Batman: The Dark Knight" constantly asked everyone how he got his scars? Well in the case of "JAWS 2", it's because a very dumb female boater after the shark killed a friend dumped gasoline on herself and the shark then fired a flair gun on the boat burning herself to death burning the shark and blowing the whole damned thing up straight to hell. What's crazier is the fact the burned shark survived to terrorize everyone, take a bite out of an Orca, subtle nod and killed more teens as if this was a slasher pic! WOW, there's jumping the shark then there's this!
(Cut to the ending of the first movie as Chief Brody shouts "Smile you son of a..." fires the gun and the Shark blows up and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover): Number 6
6) Michael Caine's Magically drying shirt! from "JAWS: The Revenge"
(Cut to every scene with Michael Caine in "JAWS: The Revenge" as James does a voiceover)
(Cut to every scene with Michael Caine in "JAWS: The Revenge" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Before I talk about the moment I first want to say this about Michael Caine, he was good in the movie but I REALLY feel sorry for anyone who see this as their first Michael Caine movie and while he freely admitted he never saw his performance in "JAWS: The Revenge" he was glad for the payday because it paid for a house apparently. And now let me set up the moment in which if Michael did see the movie would've raised Cain at how Universal did him wrong in the movie. Caine's character of Hoagie, Michael Brody played by Lance Guest and Jake played by Mario Van Peebles who probably bitch smacked the hell out of his agent for getting him in the movie are flying to rescue Ellen from her grief and of course the shark while the plane misses the shark and hits a hard water landing. Michael and Jake of course escape and it looks like Michael Caine is Shark Chow as he famously says "Oh...shit!" and apparently goes down with the plane. However in the next scene not only does he escape the Jaws of death he does so with his shirt freshly cleaned and dried! (Cut to the "Siskel and Ebert" Review of "JAWS: The Revenge" as James does a voiceover.)
Before I talk about the moment I first want to say this about Michael Caine, he was good in the movie but I REALLY feel sorry for anyone who see this as their first Michael Caine movie and while he freely admitted he never saw his performance in "JAWS: The Revenge" he was glad for the payday because it paid for a house apparently. And now let me set up the moment in which if Michael did see the movie would've raised Cain at how Universal did him wrong in the movie. Caine's character of Hoagie, Michael Brody played by Lance Guest and Jake played by Mario Van Peebles who probably bitch smacked the hell out of his agent for getting him in the movie are flying to rescue Ellen from her grief and of course the shark while the plane misses the shark and hits a hard water landing. Michael and Jake of course escape and it looks like Michael Caine is Shark Chow as he famously says "Oh...shit!" and apparently goes down with the plane. However in the next scene not only does he escape the Jaws of death he does so with his shirt freshly cleaned and dried! (Cut to the "Siskel and Ebert" Review of "JAWS: The Revenge" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Again! I have to point out the Siskel & Ebert Review of this movie. It may just be one of the most honest moments about a movie the two have when it comes to A) How ridiculous it is and B) How stupid it is that they go for it with the right amount of ammo to take it down! (Show clip of the two of them talking at how the shirt is dry after he gets on the boat. Cut to Michael Caine in "JAWS: The Revenge" as James does a voiceover)
Again! I have to point out the Siskel & Ebert Review of this movie. It may just be one of the most honest moments about a movie the two have when it comes to A) How ridiculous it is and B) How stupid it is that they go for it with the right amount of ammo to take it down! (Show clip of the two of them talking at how the shirt is dry after he gets on the boat. Cut to Michael Caine in "JAWS: The Revenge" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA(Voiceover):
A moment so ridiculous that I'll let Michael Caine say how I feel about it!
A moment so ridiculous that I'll let Michael Caine say how I feel about it!
(Cut to Michael Caine as he says "Oh...shit!". Cut to the ending of the first movie as Chief Brody shouts "Smile you son of a..." fires the gun and the Shark blows up and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover): Number 5
(Cut to the ending of the first movie as Chief Brody shouts "Smile you son of a..." fires the gun and the Shark blows up and the number appears)
5) The usage of SeaWorld in "JAWS 3/ 3D"
(Cut to clips of Sea world in "JAWS 3/3D" as James does a voiceover)
(Cut to clips of Sea world in "JAWS 3/3D" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
How did Universal get SeaWorld to agree to them being in the movie? Was it because the first two movies were financially successful that Universal figured they had some leverage they could somehow convince one of the most well known Aquarium parks to film their movie there? I don't know but when I think of SeaWorld, I think Shamu, I think of the shows, the different fishes, I think of the trainers, the amazing wonders in the sea! I don't think of a Great White Shark Terrorizing patrons and said patrons, fish, trainers and wonders becoming shark chow! While it was nice to see that SeaWorld willingly promote themselves in something like this, I just think it'd be better for them to laugh at how stupid it was to have brought in the Great White Shark that haunted Amity Island!
How did Universal get SeaWorld to agree to them being in the movie? Was it because the first two movies were financially successful that Universal figured they had some leverage they could somehow convince one of the most well known Aquarium parks to film their movie there? I don't know but when I think of SeaWorld, I think Shamu, I think of the shows, the different fishes, I think of the trainers, the amazing wonders in the sea! I don't think of a Great White Shark Terrorizing patrons and said patrons, fish, trainers and wonders becoming shark chow! While it was nice to see that SeaWorld willingly promote themselves in something like this, I just think it'd be better for them to laugh at how stupid it was to have brought in the Great White Shark that haunted Amity Island!
TLOTA (Voiceover): Number 4
4) The disbelief of the Shark attacking from "JAWS", "JAWS 2" & "JAWS 3/3D"
(Cut to clips of "JAWS", "JAWS 2" & "JAWS3/3D" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Now while it was understandable to a point in the first one that if people are saying that there is a shark in your waters and one man is willing to do this for a certain fee and you do so and close the beaches until it's safe. However by the time the second movie happens and your police chief says it's a shark, I think you take it seriously, even if he is under stress, has PTSD and is willing to do what is needed to save the town! Even in SeaWorld they've got a baby great white shark (Singing "Di Doo Di doo doo doo" and muttering to himself "Damn it!") and when it dies on their watch you don't think Mama Shark is around for vengeance after her offspring is nearby? (Cut to clips of "JAWS: The Revenge" as James does a voiceover)
Now while it was understandable to a point in the first one that if people are saying that there is a shark in your waters and one man is willing to do this for a certain fee and you do so and close the beaches until it's safe. However by the time the second movie happens and your police chief says it's a shark, I think you take it seriously, even if he is under stress, has PTSD and is willing to do what is needed to save the town! Even in SeaWorld they've got a baby great white shark (Singing "Di Doo Di doo doo doo" and muttering to himself "Damn it!") and when it dies on their watch you don't think Mama Shark is around for vengeance after her offspring is nearby? (Cut to clips of "JAWS: The Revenge" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA(Voiceover):
This is where "JAWS The Revenge" gets a fair amount of credit when the characters discover the Shark in the Bahamas where believe it or not the Shark shouldn't survive, when it does come our heroes decide to keep it to themselves and not tell those who think they're nuts! But then again after three prior attempts to warn people about the shark coming falling on Deaf Ears, it's pretty much a case of Darwinism getting the win for having the shark chow down on the people!(Cut to clips of "JAWS", "JAWS 2" & "JAWS3/3D" as James does a voiceover)
This is where "JAWS The Revenge" gets a fair amount of credit when the characters discover the Shark in the Bahamas where believe it or not the Shark shouldn't survive, when it does come our heroes decide to keep it to themselves and not tell those who think they're nuts! But then again after three prior attempts to warn people about the shark coming falling on Deaf Ears, it's pretty much a case of Darwinism getting the win for having the shark chow down on the people!(Cut to clips of "JAWS", "JAWS 2" & "JAWS3/3D" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
But to those in charge, next time you hear some say that there's a killer shark in the area listen to common sense and be responsible, close the beaches, take the shark out THEN try to salvage the summer, if you can! (Cut to the clip of Mayor Vaughn saying "I don't think either one of you are familiar with our problems." and Matt Hooper responds "Uh, I Think that I am familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and bites you ON THE ASS!". Cut to James physically as he says Pretty Much! Cut to the ending of the first movie as Chief Brody shouts "Smile you son of a..." fires the gun and the Shark blows up and the number appears)
But to those in charge, next time you hear some say that there's a killer shark in the area listen to common sense and be responsible, close the beaches, take the shark out THEN try to salvage the summer, if you can! (Cut to the clip of Mayor Vaughn saying "I don't think either one of you are familiar with our problems." and Matt Hooper responds "Uh, I Think that I am familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and bites you ON THE ASS!". Cut to James physically as he says Pretty Much! Cut to the ending of the first movie as Chief Brody shouts "Smile you son of a..." fires the gun and the Shark blows up and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover): Number 3
3) The "3D" of "JAWS 3D"
(Cut to "JAWS 3D" as James does a voiceover)
(Cut to "JAWS 3D" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA(Voiceover):
I tried to watch the 3D Aspect of the movie and all it did was leave me further unimpressed by what was a rather unimpressive sequel to the first one. Even the death of Phillip FitzRoyce played by Simon MacCorkindale in 3D was boring and believe it or not FitzRoyce's death is the most implausible death in the history of the entirety of the franchise. Wanna know how FitzRoyce buys the aquarium? Instead of chomping down on the dude, the shark swallows FitzRoyce whole using the pressure of the body to crush the dude before he can use the grenade and thus sacrificing himself to get rid of the shark and the only indicator FitzRoyce is dead is the blood coming out of the shark's gill slits! Then of course there is the infamous slow, sloow, slooow, ssslloooowww moving attack of the shark to the central command center of SeaWorld! Just watch (Show the slow motion attack of the shark as everyone reacts then the glass breaks and the shark tries to attack and James does a voiceover)
I tried to watch the 3D Aspect of the movie and all it did was leave me further unimpressed by what was a rather unimpressive sequel to the first one. Even the death of Phillip FitzRoyce played by Simon MacCorkindale in 3D was boring and believe it or not FitzRoyce's death is the most implausible death in the history of the entirety of the franchise. Wanna know how FitzRoyce buys the aquarium? Instead of chomping down on the dude, the shark swallows FitzRoyce whole using the pressure of the body to crush the dude before he can use the grenade and thus sacrificing himself to get rid of the shark and the only indicator FitzRoyce is dead is the blood coming out of the shark's gill slits! Then of course there is the infamous slow, sloow, slooow, ssslloooowww moving attack of the shark to the central command center of SeaWorld! Just watch (Show the slow motion attack of the shark as everyone reacts then the glass breaks and the shark tries to attack and James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
This time the third dimension was the most boring of them all! I needed a bigger bottle of adrenaline to keep me awake watching this boring ass Shark fest!
This time the third dimension was the most boring of them all! I needed a bigger bottle of adrenaline to keep me awake watching this boring ass Shark fest!
(Cut to the ending of the first movie as Chief Brody shouts "Smile you son of a..." fires the gun and the Shark blows up and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover): Number 2
2) The Roaring Shark and Jake's survival from "JAWS The Revenge"
(Cut to clips of "JAWS The Revenge" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
This is more towards the end of "JAWS The Revenge" so there are spoilers here. You have been warned. Okay so here's the scenario as it has been so far. The Shark nearly killed Thea Brody played by the late Judith Barsi. Leaving grief stricken Ellen to try and fight the shark on her own. After the aforementioned moment in which Michael, Jake and Hoagie and everything that happened in the number 6 spot happened and of course Hoagie's magically drying shirt. Jake and Michael decide to feed him a McGuffin device that supposedly sends electrical impulses to the inside of something and in this case it's the shark and while it appears Jake has bought the Aquarium. Michael has had enough and decided to fire Jake's McGuffin device and then... (Cut to the roaring shark scene). You heard it here, The shark roars like a mix between a lion, Godzilla, King Kong, and a T-REX! Thus we have the start of the stupidity of the ending. As the shark buys it, It looks like Hoagie, Mike and Ellen kill the beast once and for all when as if by magic Jake survives his death sentence at the mouth of the shark. This is dumb but it also leads to what is at the number one spot!
This is more towards the end of "JAWS The Revenge" so there are spoilers here. You have been warned. Okay so here's the scenario as it has been so far. The Shark nearly killed Thea Brody played by the late Judith Barsi. Leaving grief stricken Ellen to try and fight the shark on her own. After the aforementioned moment in which Michael, Jake and Hoagie and everything that happened in the number 6 spot happened and of course Hoagie's magically drying shirt. Jake and Michael decide to feed him a McGuffin device that supposedly sends electrical impulses to the inside of something and in this case it's the shark and while it appears Jake has bought the Aquarium. Michael has had enough and decided to fire Jake's McGuffin device and then... (Cut to the roaring shark scene). You heard it here, The shark roars like a mix between a lion, Godzilla, King Kong, and a T-REX! Thus we have the start of the stupidity of the ending. As the shark buys it, It looks like Hoagie, Mike and Ellen kill the beast once and for all when as if by magic Jake survives his death sentence at the mouth of the shark. This is dumb but it also leads to what is at the number one spot!
(Cut to the ending of the first movie as Chief Brody shouts "Smile you son of a..." fires the gun and the Shark blows up and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover): And the Number one dumbest moment in the entirety of the JAWS franchise IS... (Cut to the endings of the all four of the movies as the shark meets it's fate and James does a voiceover)
1) The way the shark buys it!
TLOTA (Voiceover):
From which of the four movies? Take your pick because they all go out the same way! And the first movie's ending pretty much set up the precedent for the rest of the movies would go down! Here's the scenario by the point the ending is set up. Quint is dead, Hooper is indisposed possibly shark chow, The Orca is sinking like a rock and in comes the shark to come after Chief Brody when he decides to put a compressed air tank down the shark's mouth. Armed with a gun and a spear to try and kill the damned thing with the spear hoping to kill it that way, when the spear failed it was up to a gun and a prayer that he'd hit it in the right place and the shark would go kerblammo! And while yeah it was a feel good awesome moment, the Mythbusters Team demystified it, it also gave the producers a bar to see if they could top in a sequel. Which gave us a partly burned shark which looked bad after multiple viewings the shark got to ride the lightning which was the equivalent of blowing the shark up from the inside out but this time with electricity! JAWS 3/3D had the shark go boom thanks to a grenade in the hand of a dead Simon MacCorkindale character and because of the 3D we saw a pair of the Sharks Jaws pop out! Subtle! Then again the Shark goes kerboom in "JAWS The Revenge" HOW DID THE SHARK EXPLODE IN "JAWS THE REVENGE"?! WAS THE DEVICE THAT JAKE MADE HAD AN EXPLOSIVE IN IT? I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD'VE SHOCKED THE HELL OUT OF IT! However there is an alternate version of the ending out there where The Shark just gets stabbed and dies, demolishing the boat and the shark goes down to the bottom of the sea! But somehow people wanted the shark to go boom! It really does show how dumb these movies get. Even the late Peter Benchley found the exploding shark ending in the first movie to be preposterously stupid! So for those who think Jumping The Shark was what kills movies or TV Shows, I hate to say you're wrong but when you blow up the shark that kills anything is without question, THE SINGLE DUMBEST MOMENT IN ALL OF THE JAWS MOVIES! (Cut to James physically)
From which of the four movies? Take your pick because they all go out the same way! And the first movie's ending pretty much set up the precedent for the rest of the movies would go down! Here's the scenario by the point the ending is set up. Quint is dead, Hooper is indisposed possibly shark chow, The Orca is sinking like a rock and in comes the shark to come after Chief Brody when he decides to put a compressed air tank down the shark's mouth. Armed with a gun and a spear to try and kill the damned thing with the spear hoping to kill it that way, when the spear failed it was up to a gun and a prayer that he'd hit it in the right place and the shark would go kerblammo! And while yeah it was a feel good awesome moment, the Mythbusters Team demystified it, it also gave the producers a bar to see if they could top in a sequel. Which gave us a partly burned shark which looked bad after multiple viewings the shark got to ride the lightning which was the equivalent of blowing the shark up from the inside out but this time with electricity! JAWS 3/3D had the shark go boom thanks to a grenade in the hand of a dead Simon MacCorkindale character and because of the 3D we saw a pair of the Sharks Jaws pop out! Subtle! Then again the Shark goes kerboom in "JAWS The Revenge" HOW DID THE SHARK EXPLODE IN "JAWS THE REVENGE"?! WAS THE DEVICE THAT JAKE MADE HAD AN EXPLOSIVE IN IT? I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD'VE SHOCKED THE HELL OUT OF IT! However there is an alternate version of the ending out there where The Shark just gets stabbed and dies, demolishing the boat and the shark goes down to the bottom of the sea! But somehow people wanted the shark to go boom! It really does show how dumb these movies get. Even the late Peter Benchley found the exploding shark ending in the first movie to be preposterously stupid! So for those who think Jumping The Shark was what kills movies or TV Shows, I hate to say you're wrong but when you blow up the shark that kills anything is without question, THE SINGLE DUMBEST MOMENT IN ALL OF THE JAWS MOVIES! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Are there any moments from The JAWS movies that missed the Darwin award, then let me know in the comments section below. As for my thoughts on the series as a whole. (Cut to clips of the JAWS movies as James does a voiceover)
Are there any moments from The JAWS movies that missed the Darwin award, then let me know in the comments section below. As for my thoughts on the series as a whole. (Cut to clips of the JAWS movies as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
On a movie to movie basis I can say that everyone of them have ups and downs some a few more downs. The first one remains a classic because there was an emphasis on story, characters, action, adventure, the humorous moments what few there were, the score by John Williams, everything worked about the movie. The second one is a worthy continuation and a great popcorn slasher film if you're into that sort of thing. While a lot of the third and fourth movies made up a majority of this list, it depends on what your tastes are. Whether you're in the mood for something scary that becomes so silly or so caught up in it's own melodrama that it becomes a silly parody of the first one but with none of the originality. But if they're your cup of Shark Fin Soup then check them out and like them Dumb moments and all! (Cut to James physically)
On a movie to movie basis I can say that everyone of them have ups and downs some a few more downs. The first one remains a classic because there was an emphasis on story, characters, action, adventure, the humorous moments what few there were, the score by John Williams, everything worked about the movie. The second one is a worthy continuation and a great popcorn slasher film if you're into that sort of thing. While a lot of the third and fourth movies made up a majority of this list, it depends on what your tastes are. Whether you're in the mood for something scary that becomes so silly or so caught up in it's own melodrama that it becomes a silly parody of the first one but with none of the originality. But if they're your cup of Shark Fin Soup then check them out and like them Dumb moments and all! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That's my opinion!
No comments:
Post a Comment