The Different Cuts of Peter Jackson's "Lord Of The Rings" Trilogy

 (Scene begins with a laser hitting a slab of Titanium as the music of the 1994 American Gladiators opening theme plays the angle of the camera goes into the laser as three shadowed figures with a lasered outlines appear as the shadows reveal themselves to be James Faraci in the center, Paulo Fonseca on the right and Rebecca Yaun on the left as their names appear above the characters. As the three run out of frame moving forward, four more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear and the shadows reveal themselves as Brenda Fonseca on the right, Nick Yaun on the left and John and Mike Santos and their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving forward, five more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as they reveal themselves to be Renee Miller and Eric Kurtzke on the right, Andrew Beach and Ed Champion on the left and Olivia Horvath appear in the center as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame credits of “Written and directed by James Faraci, Edited by Eric Kurtzke, Makeup by Olivia Horvath Produced by First Choice Productions” as it ends the Laser beam disappears and at the 0:28 mark of the theme song the words “The” “Last” “Of” “The” appear. At the 0:32-0:36 mark the word “Americans” start to come forward as it pulls down and  James’ Morpher and Sonic Screwdriver is flung into frame as James grabs both and morphs into The Last Of The Americans with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Fade cut to James in his room at his house)

TLOTA:

I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and even though I’m still stuck in Quarantine Lockdown, guess what, it’s time once again for “The Different Cuts” (Whistling version “The Lumberjack Song” is heard as Team TLOTA dressed as Lumberjacks see a gigantic piece of film celluloid and James chops it down and the other members cut it to different lengths and on the ends sticking out of the back of the truck the words “The Different Cuts” are seen in differing syllables. Cut to “The Lord Of The Rings” trilogy as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
For me as much as the original Star Wars Trilogy was and remains a cinematic masterpiece, for my money Peter Jackson’s “Lord Of The Rings” trilogy has better storytelling, better acting, better action, better music (mutters “John Williams forgive me!”), more inspirational themes, and overall has a better grasp on themes that Star Wars missed out on. Based on the J.R.R. Tolkien series of books this tale of a Ring forged in the heart of Mordor and a journey to destroy the one ring once and for all went through a lot to get to the big screen and Director Peter Jackson took the Lord Of The Rings to the Academy Promised Land as all three movies won Academy Awards in the technical departments and the third and final one won the best Director and best Movie among the other awards the trilogy earned. However Peter Jackson thought that as much as the theatrical cuts were great, he decided to give all three movies an extended edition which he hoped would be great enhancements to what was and is some of the finest works in cinema! But which version is the better version? Well today for funsies we’re going to see which version is the better version. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
We’re going to be going through and there will be a lot of factors going into the points. For example, the points will go to which one of the movies or all of them handled it better, which of single movies are better in the trilogy because when I started off all four categories ended in ties but with time I saw that one movie was better or another one and because of that we’re going to be dividing the points  So, let’s start off with the plot. (Cut to the scene of The Beacon of Amon Din being lit as the words “The Plot” appear in the fires of the lit beacon. Cut to clips of both “The Lord Of The Rings” Original and Extended editions as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
At his 111^th birthday Bilbo Baggins after a long time uses the ring he found in Gollum’s cave and after that he leaves The Shire one last time. Entrusting his house and the ring to Frodo. Gandalf the Grey discovers Bilbo’s ring is the one ring of Sauron. Knowing that Frodo’s life is in danger, he and Samwise Gamgee embark on a journey to find out how best to handle the ring with Merry and Pippin. On one stop at the Prancing Pony Inn they encounter Strider a Ranger from the north who decides to take the four to Rivendell to avoid the Nazgul. There they meet with Elrond and Arwen. Elrond knowing that it is the one ring of Sauron that Isildur allowed to endure which killed Isildur. A meeting which includes Boromir from Gondor, Gimli son of Gloin, Legolas of the Woodland Realm and in a shocking twist the Ranger Strider is Isildur’s heir Aragorn son of Arathorn, Frodo, and Gandalf. While arguing over what to with the Ring, Frodo steps up to say he would be the one personally responsible to take the Ring to Mordor and do what Isildur would not do. Destroy the one ring once and for all, after many a adventure which includes going into the mines of Moria, Gandalf fighting with the Balrog, Orcs, A Cave Troll, fighting the Uruk-Hai, watching as Boromir die, Frodo and Sam heading to Mordor on their own, Merry and Pippin being captured by the Orcs only to escape into the woods Fangorn Forest to get the ents into the battle against Sauron and Saruman, a journey to the Village of Rohan to help King Theoden be free of Grima Wormtongue, Stopping the Uruk-Hai at Helms Deep, dealing with the grief stricken madman Denethor Son Of Ecthelion while battling Orcs at Minas Tirith and one last attack on Mordor while Frodo and Sam travel with the creature Gollum to Mordor coming upon Faramir, Dealing with Shelob the Spider, the ring is destroyed ending Sauron once and for all. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
So which one is better? (Cut to clips of “The Lord Of The Rings” Original and Extended editions as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
As far as I am concerned these both have earned the point in spades. While the extended edition takes the plot and takes it further towards how the books end, the theatrical editions takes what’s essential to the plot and focuses on the right elements to see Middle Earth in all its splendor and glory.  But the point amount has come down to a third of the point but that mere fraction is going to the lesser of the two versions.  Because why should I let a mere fraction of a point disappear into the ether! But the usage of the plot was stronger in “Fellowship of The Ring” and “Return Of The King”, but that’s not to say “Two Towers” didn’t handle the plot as good, it just felt as if there was padding in there that wasn’t in the books or the theatrical cut. But overall, even though both are point worthy. Again, as I said before by a mere third of a point The Extended editions is the superior cut of the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy when it comes to the usage of the plot but again that last third goes to the Theatrical cut because the way the plot was handled was just as good. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
2/3rds of a point goes to the extended edition and the last third goes to the theatrical cut. (Cut to the second Beacon as it lights up the covers of the Theatrical cuts of the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy and under it is a mark in elvish translated to “One Third” and the covers of the Extended Editions of the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy and under it is a mark in elvish translated to “Two Thirds”. Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Now let’s move onto again under normal circumstances it would end in a tie but we’re not under normal circumstances. Which one is edited better? (Cut to the second and third beacon as it is lit and the word “Editing” appear in the fires of the lit beacon. Cut to clips of both “The Lord Of The Rings” Original and Extended editions as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Editing these three movies at the lengths they were presented at must have taken a great amount of stamina, patience and the team working on it must have had enough coffee in their systems to kickstart the Speed Force. Because they’re long and I think it goes without saying there is a lot to fit into three movies. So which ones are the better edited? Let’s talk about the movies one by one. While the Extended versions do add more depth and a bit of closure to two characters, one who had been detrimental Saruman and Grima Wormtongue trust me when I say it wouldn’t have been that much more to add it into the Theatrical edition of “Return Of The King” but that’s a minor nitpick. The Two Towers suffers a bit when it comes to the extended editions as well. We didn’t need a reminder scene of Gollum, Frodo and Sam telling they have to go to Mordor near the end of the movie. They could’ve kept that out. The extended edition of The Fellowship does in my mind the best job in editing to enhance the movie. Even though there were some minor editing problems that haunts me. The blurred slow-motion fast speed scene of the Uruk-Hai hunting the remaining fellowship members in the forest while the others were on canoes heading to Mordor is problematic on both editions. But again, the editing in the Theatrical cuts are not bad either. It does show the strength of the story and characters in the right way, plus it kept everything even though they’re over three hours and fifteen minutes long it sure didn’t feel that way. But believe it or not the theatrical trailers make it feel like the extended editions were the theatrical versions. That was a misdirect but I think that’s why the extended editions exist. But on the strength of each trilogy I am awarding the extended editions another two-thirds of a point and the other third going to the theatrical cut because the editing was so good it was point worthy so again splitting the point. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
With the points split in a tie again with two-thirds of a point going to the extended edition and the other third going to the theatrical cut the extended is now one and one third points, the extended version is up by two-thirds of a point (Cut to the fourth beacon being lit as it lights up the covers of the Theatrical cuts of the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy and under it is a mark in elvish translated to “Two Thirds” and the covers of the Extended Editions of the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy and under it is a mark in elvish translated to “One and One third”. Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
With a mere two thirds of a point separating them we’ll see if the theatrical cuts can comeback after the break. (Video call beeps are heard.) One moment… Wait a second, I’m going to a commercial break. So why am I saying that?

(Cut to James as he goes to his computer to answer the, the scene fades to black then cuts to the 0:36 Mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme as it shows James fully morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Cut to the 0:36 Mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme as it shows James fully morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Cut to James as he sits and twiddles his thumbs)

TLOTA:
So apparently, the team has been trying to contact me on certain things, like when I feel it’d be safe for all of us to work at the Studio again or what me and Alex had in store and most of all they were concerned for my mental wellbeing after my “Birds Of Prey” review. I told them to wait another 20 minutes to finish this Different Cuts. So, I’ve got to haul ass and get this done! Let’s get to the cast and characters. (Cut to the third to last beacon as it is lit and the word “Cast and Characters” appear in the fires of the lit beacon. Cut to clips of both “The Lord Of The Rings” Original and Extended editions as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
To say the cast takes up half of the island of New Zealand is an understatement. We have the creature Gollum played by Andy Serkis, Gandalf the Grey/White played by Sir Ian McKellen, Saruman played by Christopher Lee, Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn, John Rhys-Davies as Gimli, Hugo Weaving as King Elrond, Sean Bean as Boromir, Orlando Bloom as Legolas, Cate Blanchett as Galadriel, Bernard Hill as King Theoden of Rohan, Miranda Otto as Eowyn, Liv Tyler as Arwen, Karl Urban as Eomer, David Wenham as Faramir, John Noble as Denethor, Elijah Wood as Frodo Baggins, Sean Astin as Samwise Gamgee, Billy Boyd as Peregrin “Pippin” Took, Dominic Monaghan as Meriadoc “Merry” Brandybuck, the list goes on and on as to how many actors were in there. I could name a hundred actors and not make a dent as to how many people were in this movie.  And this is where it is so friggin impossible to just put one performance above the other. Every actor brought the characters to life. There was not one arc that I did not feel was closed perfectly. So instead of judging the character arcs, I will be doing it on a movie to movie basis. “The Fellowship of The Ring” gave the characters great starting points and while Boromir’s story ended in this movie, his character’s death affected the follow ups of both “The Two Towers” & “Return Of The King” so much so by the time of Return Of The King came up and we were introduced to Denethor right away I could tell Denethor had gone around the bend carrying both Helm’s Deep and Minas Tirith levels of Bat Shit Crazy! But it also made sure Aragorn took the path that would lead him to being worthy of the Kingdom of Gondor. It also helped the developments of Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippen. A while back I made a top ten unexpectedly bad asses someone on Manic Expression had commented that Sam should’ve been on the list well I do agree to that, After watching both cuts of Peter Jackson’s the Lord Of The Rings trilogy. Not only should Sam have made it on the list so should Merry and Pippin. While Sam starts out the epic series as a shy and delicate hobbit gardener who pines after the local barmaid, Rosie played by Sarah McLeod but never asks her out. Until he is sent on a quest to protect ring bearer Frodo from orcs, monsters, Gollum and Shelob, Sam shows his mettle and becomes courageous and fiery. So after going through the hellfire and brimstone of Mordor he figures “Eh! Talking to Rosie and eventually Marrying Rosie should be a cake walk.” Then of course we have Merry and Pippin, While starting off as comedic secondary characters, it’s in “The Two Towers” while being captured by the Uruk-Hai do they see what the world outside of the Shire is truly like. But unlike so many who see the world outside of their safe zone. Merry and Pippin do change but not to be like the world they discover, instead they show that their courage could make their world into a world where they wanted to live in and fight for. And while yes, I do agree that the development of Gimli and Legolas were stunted to basic archetypes of the comic relief and the overly perfectionist they did have their good moments of character however, even though again in this category it is a tie, to me it is by a third of a point towards the extended edition because it again feels like the theatrical cuts we were meant to get. But don’t forget the extended versions have a lot more to go with and to discredit the theatrical cuts is wrong. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
So the score is now 1 point to the theatrical cuts and to the theatrical it is a solid two points are towards the extended cuts (Cut to the third to last beacon being lit as it lights up the covers of the Theatrical cuts of the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy and under it is a mark in elvish translated to “One” and the covers of the Extended Editions of the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy and under it is a mark in elvish translated to “Two” Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And now for the deciding moment “The Re-watch Factor”! and this time how with this one will end, I’ll be fine with it! (Cut to the second to last beacon as it is lit and the word “Cast and Characters” appear in the fires of the lit beacon. Cut to clips of both “The Lord Of The Rings” Original and Extended editions as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
It goes without question that both of these trilogies have so much of the Re-Watch factor. I actually found even though these movies would take two days of your life off if you were to watch them back to back to back which is why doing it over a week is the best way to watch the movies. Every performance is amazing, the battle of Helm’s Deep is so awesome that both versions are so amazing that it just puts you into the heart of the battle, The ride of the Rohirrim to the lands of Gondor to aid Gandalf in the defense of the city of Minas Tirith. When Aragorn leads everyone left from The Riders Of Rohan and Gondor against the Orcs, I felt the riders fear turn to courage as they went into battle with all they could muster. The ending even though there are a dozen of them they all serve the purpose of giving closure to the story arcs of many of the main characters. So much so, that for the first time with all three of the movies in both the extended editions are given enough to give them each 3 and 2/3rds of a point. That’s right, The Different Cuts are equal and I’m okay with it. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
So for the first time EVER in the history of “The Different Cuts” Both the Theatrical and Extended Editions are equally as awesome as they deserve to be.

(Cut to the final beacon being lit as it lights up the covers of the Theatrical cuts of the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy and under it is a mark in elvish translated to “Three and two thirds” and the covers of the Extended Editions of the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy and under it is a mark in elvish translated to “Three and two thirds”. Show the still of Aragorn looking at the beacon and internally he’s thinking “Nice” Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Think I’m wrong in this case? Let me know why in the Comment Section below. I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That’s my opinion! (Cut to an hour later as James looks into a computer screen.)

TLOTA:
Okay guys, I just finished up with the different cuts of the Peter Jackson Lord Of The Rings Trilogy and the “In Defense Of”. What’s up guys? (Cut to Paulo and Brenda as they take care of their family)

Paulo Fonseca:
Well James, after you posted your “Birds Of Prey” review we knew something is wrong.

Brenda Fonseca:
When you started off a review crying… (Cut to Nick and Rebecca Yaun)

Rebecca Yaun:
Suffered a complete and total mental explosion just as you were getting started…

Nick Yaun:
Omitting certain things that happened like the fact protestors were outside the studio defacing the studio with graffiti… (Cut to John and Mike Santos)

John Santos:
And lest we forget the news about Alex wanting to wax your balls after the quarantine is over! (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
DUDE! Don’t talk about it! (Cut to Renee Miller)

Renee Miller:
What happened to where James’ balls are going to get waxed? (Cut to John and Mike Santos)

Mike Santos:
James did an honest yet positive review of “Life As A Mermaid” as a request to someone who checked out the top 10 list James made three years ago! (Cut to Andrew Beach)

Andrew Beach:
And I take it James didn’t get permission from the cast and creators. (Cut to Ed Champion)

Ed Champion:
Wow James, anything else as dumb? Why not give Ted Nugent a gun with unlimited ammo and a list of his enemies’ home addresses? You know people aren’t gonna last long! (Cut to Olivia Horvath)

Olivia Horvath:
Can we focus on something else? James, the surprise you had planned for April, when will you and Alex be willing to talk about it? (Cut to Eric Kurtzke)

Eric Kurtzke:
And the obvious question is when are you going to open the studio? (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Olivia, their comments are valid, and some are true, first. Second what me and Alex have to share will be shared when we’re ready. Third and finally, I am going open the studio when Covid isn’t just gone for now, I’m talking gone for good! Gone and never coming back! (Skype like bleeps to answer a call over the internet) Oh hey Alex, we were just…What in the hell is going on? (Cut to a truly angry Chad Narducci!)

Chad Narducci:
You want to know what in the hell is going on? YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW; YOU PILE OF GARBAGE THAT DESERVES TO DIE A LONELY AND MISERABLE DEATH?! (Cut to John and Mike Santos)

John Santos:
Dude! Chill out! It’s not like James did something truly wrong. (Cut to a truly angry Chad Narducci!)

Chad Narducci:
Oh really, I come by to check up on Alex and next thing I know she’s gone! What happened? What did you do? (Cut to a very confused James)

TLOTA:
Nothing?! (Cut to a truly angry Chad Narducci!)

Chad Narducci:
BULL! EVER SINCE THE SUMMER OF 2018 YOU’VE BEEN A THORN IN MY SIDE, A THORN IN HER SIDE AND NOW SINCE SHE’S GONE YOU DON’T HAVE HER TO KEEP ME FROM TEARING INTO YOU! YOU ARE GARBAGE! YOU ARE THE LOWEST FORM OF PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET, PEOPLE WHO TRASH OTHER PEOPLE’S WORK BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU FEEL BIGGER AND BETTER THEN THE MOVIES, TV SERIES AND EVERYTHING ELSE YOU SLAM BECAUSE YOU ARE PATHETIC! IF YOU DESERVE ANYTHING IT’S THE SAME FATE OF ALL OF YOUR INTERNET REVIEWING FRIENDS AND OTHERS TO BE FORGOTTEN AND DIE A PATHETIC AND LONELY DEATH! (Chad logs off as it cuts to James looking confused, then defeated as he sits back in his chair. Cut to Olivia Horvath)

Olivia Horvath:
James, he… (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Made a good point. Liv, I’m not going to BS myself. Had I done things differently, then Alex’s life would be better. (Cut to Paulo and Brenda Fonseca)

Brenda Fonseca:
Don’t listen to that Disgraciado! He’s jealous of who and what you are. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
And who am I? Besides the obvious. Thought so, If I do this in September, I’ll let you know. (James shuts off the computer screen as it holds on the black for ten seconds as the review ends)