(Scene begins with a smartwatch screen and a finger as it taps the screen, and the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand as it taps an app on his phone, as it opens a portal.)
(It cuts to James and the characters he’s played until it cuts to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans'” current iteration then slides away to different images of , Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun and the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces. The credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca and Nick Yaun” are shown then slides away to different images of Doug Yaun, Nick Lopez and Jessica Lopez-Barkl and Crosslyn Castillo and the characters they’ve played, until it cuts to their faces.)
(After that, the credits “Doug Yaun, Nick Lopez, Jessica Lopez-Barkl and Crosslyn Castillo” are shown, as it then slides away to different images of Andrew Beach Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath. Following this, the credits of “Andrew Beach, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” are shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays.)
(Everything becomes a swirl of reds, whites, and blues, as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions in association with Manic-Expression.com"; “Executive Producers: James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Olivia Horvath”; “Editing by Eric Kurtzke and James Faraci”; “Written and “Directed by James Faraci” are shown, as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays.)
(We then see an image of James as he jumps through the portal and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a black background. Finally, the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays.)
(The scene changes to James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, in his office.)
TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. A lot of people have been asking me what I have against the Amazon Prime series "The Boys" and one of its big characters, "Homelander." (Cut to clips from "The Boys" across all seasons as James delivers a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Now I understand the tone of the show, it's a tongue-in-cheek deconstruction of what would happen if Superman, The Flash and all the other superpowered people who supposedly do good, or what would happen if our world had superpowered beings and what they do, and if they cause collateral damage, do they care enough about who they hurt and what they do or do they think themselves as gods and whatever they do is what they believe is for the greater good (Cut to the clip from "Monstertober: Triple Crest" as the TWA say“The Greater good! ”Cut to clips of "The Boys" from all the seasons as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Well, if the "Greater good" includes taking over Governments, slaughtering citizens like cattle, treating women like garbage, and forcing those with powers to join them even if they don't want to, only to make them feel inferior because their abilities aren't like theirs, they find those who have no powers who risk everything about them to stop these super powered beings are nothing but the annoyance of insects to them having these powers is something no one should aspire to and the supposed "Real Heroes" being nothing but anarchists where their goal is to destroy the system that made the "Heroes" unstoppable aren't better. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And before I get ANY comments, please know that I am talking about the series and its characters. Just because I cannot stand Homelander does not mean it is an attack on Anthony Starr. That being said...(Cut to clips of Homelander as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
IF Homelander were real and I could kill him, after his powers were gone, I would NOT pull the trigger, I would make sure that he was properly detained and then put away from humanity, except for those who are like Homelander. I would show him that just because he has powers, he is not exempt from any law. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
That being said, was I happy that Billy, played by Karl Urban, murdered "Homelander" in the finale of "The Boys," yeah, I should've put a spoiler alert here, I admit I saw the finale, and to be honest, it was not that good, but the answer is NO! (Cut to the finale of "The Boys" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Look, I get that the finale had to end the way it did because it was partly due to the comics, yeah, this show was based on a comic book, and it does end similarly to the book. I think the fact that, after losing his powers, he was embarrassed on a global scale would be bad enough. The fact that Billy just uses a crowbar and then is happy to do worse than Homelander is more than the producers think is "justified" by having Hughie, played by Jack Quaid, put Billy down like a dog. No, there is no justification for what Billy and Hughie did, or for what else happened in the finale. And the fact that Hughie does get a measure of peace after this means that "Hey, vigilantism against vigilantism can work, just be sure that you think you can walk away anonymously. " (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Again, NO! Vigilantism is neither victimless nor a good idea. (Cut to clips of the different cinematic "Batman" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
The reason Batman has lasted shows that he might be a vigilante, even if he isn’t above the laws of man and has a morality, even if the last few cinematic outings have tried to politicize the morality of Batman and his alter ego, Bruce Wayne. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
"Now wait a minute," you may be saying right now, "Homelander is right because he was a blend of what Superman and Captain America SHOULD be by our standards, because we need someone that zealous." is probably how you would end the argument as to why I should like "Homelander." My response? (Cut to clips of "Superman" in the DCEU and in past iterations, and of "Captain America" over the past few years, as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
As much as the Henry Cavill Superman fell to certain thoughts I could see in him trying to be the noble character that Superman is, it was more studio interference and Zack Snyder, who was trying to modernize the idea that Superman, powers and all, into what people think is cool. Thankfully, when "Superman & Lois" and its performer Tyler Hoechlin allowed us to see Superman for the City Set Upon The Hill, as I mentioned when I talked about "Man Of Steel" a few years back. Superman tells us that we can be better not by using our powers for our own gain, but by using them to help those in need. As for Captain America, the one exception being... (Show a clip of John Walker taking the shield and killing a flag-smasher.) You know who. Captain America is an ideal: just because you have powers doesn't mean you are above who you were before. It's a reinvention of who you were, and while it matters what that person does with those abilities, if you were someone like Homelander, then he would use those abilities for evil, and since Homelander already had Superman's powers, just knowing he was doing what he was doing in "The Boys" is not a surprise. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
So does that mean I don't recommend "The Boys" and that it should be TV Trash fodder? No! (Cut to footage of "The Boys" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
It is a series that I wouldn't even inflict on my worst enemies, including those assholes from Chicago. It doesn't deserve any more of our time talking about it. We should be looking at this show as what it is. A bad relic of the 2010s, when people thought that any hero had to be good, they had to be as dark and brooding as Batman or be in the MCU. If they wanted something to stand out, it was either a dark reinterpretation or go the Tongue-In-Cheek route and make the heroes so perfect that people have to think that there is something off with them, that there has to be something more to them that makes you think they're darker than the "Villains" they fight, or have some corrupt company bankroll their enterprise. Whatever it is, I am sure about one thing when it comes to this type of "Entertainment," if it feels like it's basically insulting your thoughts on Heroes, or how you believe that heroes and your world view are dumb or bad, because it doesn't meet someone else's thoughts on the world and what their perspective is, then just tell them: NO! This may be how you see it, but everyone else thinks you're nuts. (Cut to "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
If you are interested in the deconstructionist take on the hero/villain/citizen dynamics, then you should watch "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog." It does what "The Boys" can't do. Take the deconstructionist route and use intelligence to show what the concept is, then turn it on its head. (Cut to "Superman vs The Elite" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Or, if you want it more comic-book-based, I strongly recommend "Superman vs The Elite," which shows what would happen if Superman had to take on people like Homelander and his team. A team that would mock Superman and his beliefs. But at the end of the day, Superman would beat Homelander not by power but by showing Homelander and his team what it would be like if their type of vigilantism were turned on them. (Cut to the comic book in which "Homelander" and "Superman" fight as James delivers a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Okay, so yeah, there is that, but I think I will leave it to Linkara to deal with it. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, and that's my opinion. (Cut to a couple of hours later as James pulls in with an R.V.)
TLOTA:
So what do you think? (Cut to the team)
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
We're going to be traveling in this?
Nick Lopez:
I am getting National Lampoon's Vacation vibes from all of this. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Look, we've earned this road trip, and the best part is we can do reviews here when we decide to go mobile. It will save us on hotel fees, and on top of that, it has the same tech as the Time Space Device, cool, huh? (Cut to the team)
Crosslyn Castillo:
If we're going to fit in there the same way as the Time Space Device, I hope there's a pool so I can do some Mermaiding.
Renee Miller:
We're all wasting time; let's pile in and hit the road.
Andrew Beach:
She's right, where are we going? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Philadelphia on July 4th, the best BBQ competition in August, back here by September, and we get to have little adventures on the road in between the reviews. So load up and let's ride. (Everyone piles in, and James closes the door as the R.V. starts up and the scene fades to black.)
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