Friday, April 5, 2019

The Room for "Venom"

(Scene starts a door opening up as sound alike to “Poison” from Alice Cooper starts up as it shows James Faraci The Last Of The Americans with his back to the Camera and his head outside of frame before he turns to the camera before fading to the eyes of a very beautiful woman played by Julia Alexa Miller intercut to the NY4 with John Ross Santos on the Lead Guitar, Mike Santos on the Drum Set, Paulo Fonseca on the secondary Rhythm Guitar, Ed Champion on the Keyboards, Andrew Beach on the Bass Guitar and James on the first Rhythm Guitar and on the lead vocals playing intercut to the very beautiful woman played by Julia Alexa Miller is seen being in a white dress)

TLOTA (Singing):
Your Cruel Plot Device! You stink on Ice! One view did kill my brains from your swill! I wanna feel you but you make-a me hot. (Rest of the band sing in Harmony “So Hot!”) I wanna watch ya but my Spidey Senses shout “NOT!”. I wanna try ya but you kill too much! (Rest of the band sing in Harmony “Too Much!”) I wanna see ya but you’re just straight up VENOM! You’re Venom running through my brain! I just wanna stay sane! (Scene cuts to a room full of chains with James intercut to the very beautiful woman played by Julia Alexa Miller is seen being in a black leather dress.)

TLOTA (Singing):
Your lead was BANE! Your cast has no game! Your suit so lame! Black slick with white veins! I saw the cliff notes on Cinemasins! (Rest of the band sing in Harmony “And Wins!”)  You broke the meter in no way a movie did it in! Your sequel set up was so paper thin (Rest of the band sing in Harmony “Too Thin!”) I wanna see ya but you’re just straight up VENOM! You’re Venom running through my brain! I just wanna stay sane! Venom! (Guitar solo as the scene sees the very beautiful woman played by Julia Alexa Miller climbing up a rope before cutting to the band) One view (Rest of the band sing in Harmony “One View!”) did kill (Rest of the band sing in Harmony “Did Kill!”) my brains from your swill! I wanna feel you but you make-a me hot. (Rest of the band sing in Harmony “So Hot!”) I wanna watch ya but my Spidey Senses shout “NOT!”. I wanna try ya but you kill too much! (Rest of the band sing in Harmony “Too Much!”) I wanna see ya but you’re just straight up VENOM! You’re Venom running through my brain! I just wanna stay sane! Venom! (Cut to the door opening as it shows Julia Alexa Miller dressed as James before cutting back to the band as the Rest of the band sing in Harmony “Venom!” and they repeat the Chorus) Give it! GIVE ME! And I just wanna stay sane! Venom! (Rest of the band sing in Harmony “Venom!”) Burning deep inside my brain! (Show Julia Alexa Miller dressed as James taking a drink from a goblet before she begins to gag then cut to James holding a Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital Copy of “Venom”) Veenom!

(Cut to A Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 then cut to James jumping down a cliff from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci landing and fully morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans basic mode with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with the American flag design on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Black Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James fighting alongside the 2017 Power Rangers, 2016 Ghostbusters and warriors of Wakonda from “Avengers: Infinity War” at the 0:13 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:14-0:17 show Rebecca Yaun as Wonder Woman  and Nick Yaun as Steve Trevor charging the screen before cutting to John and Mike Santos peeling out in The DeLorean From “Back To The Future” before cutting to the 0:17-0:19 mark as it shows Paulo & Brenda Fonseca taking a joyride in KITT from “Knight Rider” in Super Pursuit Mode before cutting to the 0:20-0:28 mark as we see Eric Kurtzke, Ed Champion and Andrew Beach flying the USS Enterprise from “Star Trek” (2009) and Olivia Horvath flying The Orville as it cuts to the 0:28 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James stands on top of his Time and Space device and tosses his sonic screwdriver then cuts over to multiple clips from “The Last Of The Americans” reviews moments of 2018 as the Sonic Screwdriver flips end over end as the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses on a black background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James in his office writing a letter before looking at the Camera)

TLOTA:
Oh hey, I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. You kind of caught me in the middle of something big! It’s a letter to SONY. Why am I writing an industrial company? Simple to basically tell them to let go of their rights to the “Spider-Man” franchise and I know “Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse” is awesome but still, it isn’t enough to remove all the sins that SONY has done to Spider-Man and his world after the Sam Raimi trilogy. (Cut to scenes of “Spider-Man 3”, “The Amazing Spider Man” & “The Amazing Spider-Man”, “Captain America: Civil War”, “Spider-Man Homecoming”, “Avengers: Infinity War” and “Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
After the critical thrashing but somewhat commercial success of “Spider-Man 3” Columbia Pictures and their parent company SONY were looking forward to a fourth movie with Raimi at the Helm and the remaining cast returning, John Malkovich was to become “The Vulture” and Anne Hathaway would’ve been Felicia “Black Cat” Hardy. However, Raimi wasn’t going to be rushed through the process of a fourth movie. So, SONY killed the movie and hit the Reboot button. Enter Marc Webb, Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone with “The Amazing Spider-Man” and “The Amazing Spider Man 2” two thirds of a trilogy that’ll never be finished as critics thrashed both movies for lack of a real story and real focus on what “Spider-Man” stood for which gave Marvel the company that made Spidey the leverage to say to SONY that they need Spider Man for a little movie called “Captain America: Civil War” and he was used well enough that Marvel decided to make a series of movies featuring the web head however SONY still had plans for Spidey and his character’s universe and the well received and Academy Award winning “Spider-Man: Into The Spider-verse” was proof that Sony could do Spider-Man as well as Marvel. (Cut to James Physically)

TLOTA:
But we’re not here to talk about that movie. We’re here to talk about the movie that tried to make a story about characters in Spider-Man’s universe without the Web-Head. Now if my memory serves me right, the last time there was a movie made about a character in a universe without the central figure of the universe in there. I wonder what happened. (Show poster of “Catwoman” before cutting to James physically as he sighs.) My movie senses are screaming at me “This is gonna hurt in the most colossal of ways.” (Show title card of “Venom” before cutting to clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
So loosely based on the Anti-Hero of the Spider-Man universe that a convoy of Trucks can fit through the gaps in the looseness of the basis for this movie. This movie tries to build a universe for Spider-Man Characters Sans Spider Man. Will this succeed, or will it find itself making people longing for Halle Berry’s misinterpretation of “Catwoman”? (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Well let’s see, if this movie is R-Rated it might… (James picks up the Cover to see that it is rated PG-13) PG-13 ?! P… (Slams the cover of the movie down on to the desk) G…13?! ARE THEY KIDDING ME?! THIS IS VENOM WE’RE TALKING ABOUT! IT WAS A GIFT-WRAPPED R MOVIE AND THIS IS WHAT THEY DO IT?! (Sighs) Folks I know PG-13 is pretty much the standard rating for the movie but believe it or not R-Rated Comic Book movies do work. The Deadpool movies were successful and they were rated R. (Cut to Deadpool played by Cambell Dodson in the corner of the office.)

Deadpool:
Actually, my latest movie got re-cut with a PG-13 rating and guess what it was successful-ish.

TLOTA:
Yeah whatever you say, let’s see if this will make me pine for Spider-Man 3. This is “Venom”. (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
The movie opens in the depths of space as a shuttle is attacked from the inside which sends the leader of the company that sent the Shuttle Carlton Drake played by Riz Ahmed into a panic that is until it crashes landing in East Malaysia a man named Jameson being the only survivor. But on the way to the Hospital, Jameson and whatever is in him decide “Nope, not gonna let EMTs save me!” and promptly crashes the ride. The organism inside taking one of the dead EMT’s corpses. We then cut to San Francisco as we’re introduced to Eddie Brock played by Tom Hardy and Anne his fiancée played by Michele Williams. (Show clip of Eddie and Anne just being a happily engaged couple before cutting to James physically.)

TLOTA:
Wait a second, A Happily engaged couple in San Francisco?! Excuse me for a moment! (James walks out with a mischievous grin on his face as he heads to the back room before being intercepted by Paulo & Brenda Fonseca)

Brenda Fonseca:
Wait a minute, Gringo. Where are you off to?

TLOTA:
To get “The Book”!

Paulo Fonseca:
The Book?!

TLOTA:
OH YES! THE BOOK!

Paulo Fonseca:
Madre Di Dios! He’s going for it! CODE RED EVERYONE! CODE RED! (Red emergency lights and Klaxons blare as everyone starts to run before cutting to Paulo and Brenda Fonseca in the same car)

Brenda Fonseca:
I take it “Code Red” is bad? 

(Cut to Nick & Rebecca Yaun in another car)
Nick Yaun:
Code Red!

Rebecca Yaun:
Why is he going for “The Book of “The Room” Jokes”?

(Cut to Andrew Beach, Ed Champion, John and Mike Santos in another car)

Andrew Beach:
There’s only one reason to bring out the book.

Ed Champion:
He is seeing a movie that has a lot of the tropes from “The Room”

John Santos:
I still have Vietnam Flashback to that sissy tantrum

Mike Santos:
My worse nightmare is discovering that mom has breast cancer and us being blasé about it! (Cut to Olivia Horvath and Renee Miller in another car.)

Olivia Horvath:
I can remember the navel banging! HOW CAN YOU BANG A WOMAN IN THE NAVEL?! IT’S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE! 

Renee Miller:
OH GOD! I STILL SEE THAT PALE ASS AND WHITE BOY JUNK AND I NEVER CAN USE ENOUGH BRAIN BLEACH TO ERASE IT FROM MY MIND! I CAN ACTUALLY HEAR JAMES OPENING THE BOOK! (Cut to James as he reads the book getting it ready at his desk and schlepping a gigantic change jar before cutting to James going back to the main lobby.)

TLOTA:
Okay guys, you ready? (The sound of tires peeling out is heard as James turns and opens the main door to look around) Great! Just great guys! If you didn’t want to do it, just tell me! Don’t go running out on me! Son Of A… (Cut to James as he sits in the Horseshoe couch) Now how am I going to do these jokes properly? (Cut to the main door as Julia Alexa Miller, Taylor Huff, Marcella DiPasqualle, Nick Slimmer, Cambell Dodson and Steve Kidd come into the lobby.)

Steve Kidd:
Hey James, why did everyone else run for their lives? (Cut to James as he has another mischievous grin before cutting to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
We soon discover that Eddie is an investigative news reporter with a successful news expose series and his boss has got an interview with Carlton Drake as he is the head of a big scientific organization called “The Life Foundation”.  Eddie thinks Carlton is a few shy a full load and a crook but he takes the assignment and talks about it with Annie. (Cut to James physically.)

TLOTA:
Oh, I know what moment to recreate! (Cut to Nick Slimmer dressed as Bane from “The Dark Knight Rises” and Taylor Huff dressed as Imperator Furiosa from “Mad Max Fury Road” in the recreated loft from “The Room”.)

Bane from “The Dark Knight Rises: (Played by Nick Slimmer):
Of course, what do ya think? They already put my ideas into practice. The bank saves money, and they are using me, and I am the fool. 

Imperator Furiosa (Played by Taylor Huff):
I still love you

Bane from “The Dark Knight Rises: (Played by Nick Slimmer):
You’re the only one who does.

Imperator Furiosa (Played by Taylor Huff):
At least you have friends. I didn’t get any calls today! You’re right, the computer business is too competitive. Do you want me to order you a pizza?

Bane from “The Dark Knight Rises: (Played by Nick Slimmer):
Whatever, I don’t care

Imperator Furiosa (Played by Taylor Huff):
I already ordered a pizza.

Bane from “The Dark Knight Rises: (Played by Nick Slimmer): (Chuckling)
You think of everything.

Imperator Furiosa (Played by Taylor Huff):
What’s the matter, is everything alright? It’s just a lousy promotion. You know what you need? You need a drink?

Bane from “The Dark Knight Rises: (Played by Nick Slimmer):
You know it’s kind of hard to drink and eat with the mask.

(Music Scratches as Taylor breaks character and talks to the camera)

Taylor Huff:
You know something Nick, you’re right and James, how is this related to “Venom”? (Cut to James in his office)

TLOTA:
Well it’s not, it’s just something that just came to me as I was watching “Venom” (Cut to the recreated loft from “The Room”)

Taylor Huff:
But putting characters from Tom Hardy’s movie into “The Room” doesn’t seem that funny. (Cut to James in his office)

TLOTA:
Well I can’t help it if I put Tom Hardy and the characters from his movies into “The Room” for me it works and if you can trust my judgement, everything will be fine.

(Cut to the recreated loft from “The Room” as Cambell Dodson comes in dressed as “Shinzon” from “Star Trek: Nemesis”.)

Cambell Dodson:
So will I be needed this scene or not? (Cut to James in his office)

TLOTA:
No but be on standby. (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Eddie and Anne decide after a lengthy conversation decide to have a night together. Ooh! Ooh! I know what “The Room” joke to go for! (Cut to “Bane”, “Shinzon” & “Imperator Furiosa” pillow fighting in the recreated bedroom from “The Room”) 

Bane from “The Dark Knight Rises: (Played by Nick Slimmer):
Shinzon, do you have something else to do?

Shinzon from “Star Trek: Nemesis” (Played by Cambell Dodson):
I just like to watch you guys!

Imperator Furiosa (Played by Taylor Huff):
Oh, Shinzon, Shinzon, Shinzon boy!

Bane from “The Dark Knight Rises: (Played by Nick Slimmer):
Shinzon, two is great but three is a crowd!

Shinzon from “Star Trek: Nemesis” (Played by Cambell Dodson):
I get it. You guys want to be alone!

Bane from “The Dark Knight Rises: (Played by Nick Slimmer):
That’s the idea.

Shinzon from “Star Trek: Nemesis” (Played by Cambell Dodson):
Fine, I have homework to do anyway. Bye Lovebirds

Bane from “The Dark Knight Rises: (Played by Nick Slimmer):
Bye Shinzon!

Imperator Furiosa (Played by Taylor Huff):
Bye Shinzon!

(Shinzon walks out of frame before cutting back to the movie and James’ voiceover) 

TLOTA (Voiceover):
After that Eddie opens Anne’s E-Mail and discovers some damning evidence on The Life Foundation and its founder. After inspiring kids on a field trip Carlton and Eddie meet for an interview which goes south quickly. Not happy about how badly the interview went and not wanting to expose Anne and the person who gave her the evidence, Eddie is fired. However, by order of the plot Anne is exposed and fired and her reaction is such. (Cut to Bane as he is cut into the scene cutting out Anne as he talks to Eddie Brock)

“Bane” from “The Dark Knight Rises” (Played by Nick Slimmer):
You betrayed me! Everybody here betrayed me! I’m fed up with this world! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
 Meanwhile the EMT with the organism inside decides she likes her Eel raw and the organism moves onto another host. We soon cut to six months later as the samples from the shuttle are being used for human experimentation and Dr. Skirth played by Jenny Slate has a moral dilemma on her hands. Meanwhile Eddie Brock has hit hard times, not even getting a job as a dishwasher and Anne has moved on to a Doctor. One day Eddie is on his way home when Dr. Skirth accosts him to help her expose her boss. Oh, interesting side note, apparently the trailer had it dubbed their way and everyone on the internet had a fit. So SONY decided “Okay, Fix it in ADR to the way it supposed to sound.” So good for you SONY.  On the Golden Gate Bridge, Eddie decides “Okay, it’s not like something bad is gonna happen to me.” And Dr. Skirth gets Eddie into the foundation. (Cut to the clip in which Dr. Skirth tells Eddie how cuckoo Carlton Drake is before cutting to James physically as he looks through the book and his stomach rumbles)

TLOTA:
I know why I can’t come up with a joke right now, I’m Starving. We’ll be right back. (James walks away and says off-screen “Hey Guys!” and Julia Alexa Miller says off-screen “If the next words out of your mouth are “Let’s go eat, huh.” I swear I will make you so sorry!” James replies “Okay” The scene fades to black before cutting to James as he stands on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before fading to black then cutting to James as he stands on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
After seeing one of his friends in a tube. Eddie does the sensible thing and smash the chamber. This gets Carlton’s attention but before passing away Eddie’s friend passes something onto Eddie which gives him the ability Parkour attack guards, smash doors off their hinges, go through fences, elude more guards and climb trees like no tomorrow. Eddie makes it back to his place and starts chowing down on anything that isn’t nailed down to the ground. 

Eddie Brock:
What is wrong with me? (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Don’t know about you but I am enjoying every second of this more than I thought I would.  I swear I am enjoying the hammy performance from Tom Hardy after the fact he got the symbiote in him. (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
After that, the thing Eddie’s friend had in her calls him. His reaction (Show Eddie screaming like a little girl and falling into the tub.) Subtle. Meanwhile whatever was in the EMT is now here in the states going through bodies the same way we go through toilet paper on Taco Tuesday around here. Meanwhile as it appears that Eddie is on the verge of a psychotic break. He finds Anne on a date with her new guy Dr. Dan Lewis played by Reid Scott and the way he breaks the ice is better than he would’ve any other way. (Cut to Max Rockatansky from “Mad Max Fury Road” played by James Faraci and
Imperator Furiosa from “Mad Max Fury Road” played by Taylor Huff and “Bane” from “The Dark Knight Rises” as Furiosa and Max are on a date)

“Bane” from “The Dark Knight Rises” (Played by Nick Slimmer):
Anyway how is your sex life?! (Max and Furiosa do a spit take before cutting back to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Eddie explains the situation and is immediately hospitalized for tests. Meanwhile, Dr. Skirth is found out to be the traitor and is killed via Symbiotic slaughter. While traveling in a Cable car we see… Is that Tommy Wiseau on the same Cable car? Maybe it’s just me. After that Eddie’s neighbor plays a guitar which sets off the symbiote and… (Pfft then Laughter before cutting to James physically)

TLOTA:
Okay Tom, you’re now in Nicholas Cage levels of crazy acting! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
After that, Eddie ignore the warning and guards from Drake want the Symbiote back. Eddie surrenders but the Symbiote has other plans. (Show clip of the symbiote kicking everyone’s backside and makes it out safely before cutting to the movie as James continues a voiceover) After escaping, Eddie and the symbiote meet face to face via a car window fifty three minutes in and after an exciting chase that’s missing something, I know (Cut to Immortan Joe from “Mad Max: Fury Road” played by Steve Kidd tossing his followers from the double guitar player played by Cambell Dodson and his truck at “Bane” from “The Dark Knight Rises” played by Nick Slimmer)

Immortan Joe from “Mad Max: Fury Road” (Played by Steve Kidd):
Return my treasure to me and I myself will carry you to the gates of Valhalla.
You will ride eternal, shiny and chrome. (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Sorry, but I digress, At the fifty-nine-minute mark of this movie and FINALLY we see the Symbiote now calling itself “Venom” and BOY I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SAY THIS ALOUD BUT CAN WE GET THE DESIGN OF THE VENOM SUIT FROM SPIDER-MAN 3 BACK!  (Cut to James physically as we see Immortan Joe bust into James’ office)

Immortan Joe from “Mad Max: Fury Road” (Played by Steve Kidd):
YOU WANT THAT SUIT BACK?! IT WAS MEDIOCRE! (Cut to James.)

TLOTA:
Dude, get out or else you’re going to be even whiter than you are now!

Immortan Joe from “Mad Max: Fury Road” (Played by Steve Kidd):
How? (Immortan Joe screams in fear as he is picked up by the seat of his pants by Julia Alexa Miller)

Julia Alexa Miller:
Me! And by the way, there’s nowhere you can run and you’re not going to Valhalla and you will ride eternal, broken and beaten to a wholly pulp!

Immortan Joe from “Mad Max: Fury Road” (Played by Steve Kidd):
But I am your redeemer. It is by my hand you will rise from the ashes of this world.

Julia Alexa Miller:
And it’s by my hand you’re gonna wind up at a hospital on Guerrero Street. (Cut to James as he chuckles like Tommy Wiseau before cutting to Julia Alexa Miller again) And if you say “What a story, Alex!” You’ll be joining him! (Cut to James as he nods in fear of her before cutting to Julia Alexa Miller carrying off Immortan Joe who is crying for his mommy before cutting back to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
After escaping, Eddie and Venom have a heart to heart about needing Carlton Drake’s rocket for some unknown ambiguous reason. But Drake has more on his plate as the symbiote from Malaysia meets up and bonds with him! Eddie and Venom on the other hand must get the evidence to Eddie’s former boss. Venom assists in the only way he can. After dropping it off, Venom senses danger and suggests escaping through the window. Eddie on the other hand… (Show clip of Venom calling Eddie a “Pussy” before cutting to “Bane” from “The Dark Knight Rises” played by Nick Slimmer standing next to James)

“Bane” from “The Dark Knight Rises” (Played by Nick Slimmer):
Oh I can say something far more powerful. (Clears his throat and grabs “The Room” Joke Book) “Chicken, Eddie! You’re just a little chicken.  (Making Cheep noises the same way Tommy Wiseau does before cutting to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Making it back down he gets accosted by Okay Anne, if you called them in to take Eddie to the Hospital on a false claim of Eddie beating Anne then I KNOW which joke to use. (Cut to Bane as he is cut into the scene cutting out Eddie Brock)

“Bane” from “The Dark Knight Rises” (Played by Nick Slimmer):
I did not hit her, It’s not true. It’s bullshit! I did not hit her! I did not! (Cut to the SWAT team as they prepare to fire before seeing Bane morph into VENOM played by James Faraci)

Venom (Played by James Faraci):
OH HAI SWAT!

 (Show the battle against the SWAT team then Eddie and Anne escape and make it to the Hospital as James continues a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
After escaping the SWAT team Eddie and Anne make it to the hospital as Dan tells Eddie
the good news, he definitely does not have breast cancer. The bad news the Symbiote is apparently doing more harm than good. So, leave it to Anne to bring the noise!  (Show clip of Eddie and Venom being forcibly separated before cutting to “Bane” from “The Dark Knight Rises” played by Nick Slimmer standing next to James as he clears his throat and grabs “The Room” Joke Book)

“Bane” from “The Dark Knight Rises” (Played by Nick Slimmer):
YOU ARE TEARING US APART ANNE! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
After splitting like atoms, bananas and celebrity couples Eddie is accosted by Drake’s men and The Symbiote tries to bond with a host to get Eddie back. (Show clip of the Dog as James does his best Venom voice and says, “Oh Hai Doggie!” before continuing the movie as James continues his voiceover) After seeing Drake and his symbiotic partner Riot, he is taken out to the woods to be put down like a dog when a surprise saves his life! (Show “She-Venom” as she is voiced by Marcella DiPasqualle and says, “Hai Babe, I’ve got something for You-ou!” before cutting to James and Marcella sitting in James’ office)

TLOTA:
That was awesome voice work.

Marcella DiPasqualle (Raspy sounding):
Well thanks I (Coughs her voice normal) 

Marcella DiPasqualle:
Damn it, I lost it. Oh well, mind if I put this book back?

TLOTA:
Yeah, it payed itself off in every way possible today. (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
While Eddie and Venom make peace, we see that Drake and his symbiotic partner “Riot” plan on taking the next space shuttle to get EVERY LAST SYMBIOTE here on earth and TAKE OVER THE WORLD! (Show clip of “Mind Of Mencia” as Punji says “Oh, Of Course!” before cutting back to the movie as James continues his voiceover) Riot and Drake are preparing the launch when from out of nowhere, HEEERE’S VENOM! And here’s one of the biggest problems I’ve had with the movie, the end battle is just so cartoony it’s giving of all things “Justice League” a run for its money! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
I know what I said, let’s move on! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
The sonic vibrations split the symbiotes and the hosts into a battle that is probably one of the most unintelligible fights I ever saw. Drake and Brock fight it out when Eddie is shafted by Riot. Venom saves Eddie one last time and destroys the space shuttle with Drake and Riot inside. The next day Eddie and Anne don’t get together. Venom somehow survived all of what happened to him. The two decide to punish the wrong starting with the thug who was harassing a store clerk who was nice to Eddie.

Venom:
You come in here again… In fact, you go anywhere in this city, preying on innocent people and we will find you and eat both your arms and then both your legs.

Thug:
No! NO!

Venom:
And then we will eat your face right off your head. Do you understand? Yes. So you will be this armless, legless, faceless thing won’t you rolling down the street like a… turd in the wind. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
That’s an odd thing to call someone “A Turd in the wind”. That’s like being a kosher pig farmer. (Cut to the movie)

Thug:
What the hell are you?

Eddie Brock/Venom:
We… Are… VENOM!

TLOTA (Voiceover):
And with that the movie ends with Eddie meets up with Cletus Kassidy played by Woody Harrelson and set up a sequel filled with Carnage and lead “Into The Spider-Verse” (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And that was Venom and… You know what it was so good that I am going to destroy this letter saying, “Surrender the Spider-Man Franchise”.  (
Cut to clips of Venom as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Although it was better than I thought it was, it’s not entirely perfect. Some of the gags fell a little flat, the sloppy mess of a fight between Riot and Venom just was poorly done and as much as Michelle Williams didn’t exactly make me believe she was enjoying being in this movie you can tell she was there and rolled with the punches. But despite the few nitpicks I had the story was enjoyable, Tom Hardy’s Hammy performance as the Symbiote of Venom is what held the movie just slightly above some real bad Comic Book movies and to be honest it’s not the worst Comic Book Adaptation. It’s above Batman & Robin in how enjoyably so bad it’s kind of good in terms of Comic Book movies. Give it a watch, find yourself a good laugh and see this for what this movie is worth! (Cut to James going to the main lobby.)

TLOTA:
Okay guys, I… (Cut to everyone in the main lobby looking at James before cutting back to James) What are you guys doing here? (Cut to everyone shoving Paulo to the front of the group)

Paulo Fonseca:
On behalf of my wife, my sister, my brother in law and our friends we want to apologize for running out on you. We saw what you did, got a good laugh out of it and I hope there’s no… (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
We’re good! As a matter of fact, I’m going to need all of you to help as we go to the end game. (Cut to different people as “The Avengers” by Alan Silvestri plays and they fist bump each other, nod and smile before cutting back to James)

TLOTA:
Next month WE ASSEMBLE!  (Cut to Black)

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