(Scene begins with a finger tap on a smartwatch as the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to James jumping down a cliff from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci landing in Santa's sleigh and entirely morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans Christmas mode with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with Christmas Trees on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Black Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James and Santa riding with the 12th Doctor and Clara at the 0:13 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:14-0:17 show Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun as the two run after the Grinch before cutting to John and Mike Santos baking cookies before cutting to the 0:17-0:19 mark as it shows Paulo & Brenda Fonseca popping in A Muppets Christmas Special on a player before cutting to the 0:20-0:28 mark as we see Eric Kurtzke, Ed Champion, Andrew Beach and Olivia Horvath decorating as it cuts to the doors outside of James' space and time machine as the 0:28 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James stands on top of his Time and Space device and tosses a candy cane then cuts over to multiple clips from the past ten years of "The Last Of The Americans" Christmas reviews/top 12s as the Candy Cane flips end over end as the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words "The Last Of The Americans" on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground. Cut to James in his office)
TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours, and it's December, I got my Santa hat on, and my list of gifts is budgeted at $100.00, which will be stretching every last penny. The is "The Last Of The Americans Holiday Gift Guide" for 2023 AND (James taps on the smartwatch screen and becomes James Faraci)
James Faraci:
The Top Five moments of The Last Of The Americans from 2023 is a reason it's a top five because, later this month, we will be going over TEN years' worth of the best reviews from The Last Of The Americans as chosen by you guys. So, let's start off the top five moments of The Last Of The Americans in 2023.
(Scene cuts to a finger taps on a smartwatch as the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts as it taps the app as it opens a portal, and it cuts to different images of James as the characters he's played until it cut to his face and the credit of "James Faraci" is shown as it cuts to "The Last Of The Americans'" current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun as the characters they've played until it cut to their faces and the credits of "Paulo and Brenda Fonseca & Rebecca and Nick Yaun" is shown as it then slides away to different images of John Ross and Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, and Ed Champion as the characters they've played until it cut to their faces and the credits of "John Ross Santos, Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion" is shown as it then slides away to different images of Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath and the credits of "Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath" is shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites, and Blues as the credits "Produced by First Choice Productions. Edited by Eric Kurtzke and Paulo Fonseca. Written and Directed by James Faraci" as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an outlined image of James as he morphs into "The Last Of The Americans" and lands with half of his team on his right and the other half on his left on a white background and the title "THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS" is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays and the words "Top Five" on the top of "The Last Of The Americans" and on the bottom those words are "Of 2023" as it cuts to the swirl of red, white and blue and a number appears in the center as James does a voiceover)
James Faraci (V.O.): Number Five
(Cut to "The Ten Biggest G-D DAMN M----RF---ING Mistakes I've made in the ten years of The Last Of The Americans" as James does a voiceover)
James Faraci (V.O.): Yep, needed to get this out of the way. I decided to go over everything I did wrong, and boy, I made many F-Ups! Looking back, I knew I would find enough to do a top 100, but I could answer for MANY of the mistakes I made and comment on the ones that were the most egregious. Specifically about the movie I wanted to make and the fact that my busting my ass for ten years meant bupkis for so many. And the fact that I was able to clear up many of the misconceptions about myself and admit my faults, I am hopeful I can make up for many of the mistakes I made. Now let's get started with (Morphing sound)
TLOTA (V.O.): The Last Of The Americans' Christmas Guide for 2023 (Cut to James and Team TLOTA in their Pajamas as they come rushing to the Christmas Tree and see different items they wanted and clean up as the camera turns to see in the Wrapping Paper shrapnel "The Last Of The Americans Holiday Gift Guide" slide wipe to James in Cooking gear around the Kitchen in the Studio.) TLOTA: As you may have noticed, I have dropped some weight. Well, partly because I had to lose weight because of my physical results and the fact that I needed to do so. I cut bread, candy cookies, and other baked goods and carbs. But I have also cut ninety-five percent of my fat usage. I use cast iron and The T-fal Signature Nonstick 12-piece Cookware Set to cook my food. I've also cut fried foods out of my diet as well. I've also made some changes as to what I could do for snacks. I use this NutriBullet Blender to make my zero-carb and zero-sugar-based drinks. Speaking of drinks, we're still doing warm drinks, so we now have the Keurig K-Compact Single-Serve K-Cup Pod Coffee Maker, which everyone has used, as well as this, the OVENTE Glass Electric Kettle Hot Water Boiler 1.5 Liter Borosilicate Glass Fast Boiling Countertop Heater for when I desire a tea without the sugar. While I enjoy this, let's go back to James and his top five (James taps on the smartwatch screen and morphs back to James Faraci)
James Faraci: Okay, that was weird. Anyway, Number Four (Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites, and Blues as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an outlined image of James as he morphs into "The Last Of The Americans" and lands with half of his team on his right and the other half on his left on a white background and the title "THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS" is shown it cuts to the swirl of red, white and blue and a number appears in the center as it cuts to The Super Mario Bros. Movie review as James does a voiceover)
James Faraci (V.O.): Initially, I was hesitant to check it out. When I did, I fell in love with it. Because they got the movie right! When that happened, I decided to honor it with my review of what the movie was about. However, as I heard online trolls give this movie tsouris for Princess Peach the ability to be more than a dumbass damsel in distress, I decided to go for the throat and have them get what they deserve. The highlight of the review was when I jumped into the movie and got to show off something I was good at in college. My wicked good Mario Kart skills, especially when the blue shell hit. On another plus side, I got a new reaction when the bad guy's plan is to, that's right, take over the world. (Cut to James in the Super Mario Bros. Movie review as the Maw-Ray is about to eat him, Mario and Donkey Kong, and James says, "Of Course!" Cut to the ending of The Super Mario Bros. Movie as James does a voiceover)
James Faraci (V.O.): And, of course, the ending that made this movie awesome. When The Marios, Tonios, the entire battling borough of Brooklyn, and the cast from Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It is an excellent review worthy of a fantastic movie, possibly the best of the year. (Morphing sound)
TLOTA (V.O.): Thanks, James; I'll take over here. (Cut to James in a gym.)
TLOTA: In addition to my new dietary resolve, I've modified a room here to be the gym in the Studio. I do my DDP Yoga and weights and resistance training with The HITOSPORT Adjustable Weight Bench for a Full Body workout; in addition, I also use this little beauty, the Sunny Health & Fitness Compact Adjustable Rowing Machine; it's adjustable to 12 levels. We also use TheFLYBIRD Adjustable Weight Bench Workout Bench for Home Gym. It uses resistance bands to help use the body's weight to build muscle. The rest of my team and I hit this treadmill for an hour or so; you notice that I'm not wearing my usual boots in favor of sensible shoes. We happen to use it when we need it, and in the case of our associate Chad, when he decides that we need to have a little humiliation when it comes to being online content creators (Cut to everyone in Team TLOTA as they do the OK GO "Here it goes again" Choreography perfectly with the words "On Behalf of The Rest Of The Team, We apologize for this!" are shown at the bottom of the footage through the first half of the Choreography! Throughout the rest of the Choreography, the words "To soothe the humiliation and embarrassment when we return to this portion, we will be sharing the latest for the kids and infants after we return to James' Top Five moments of The Last Of The Americans at Number 3. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites, and Blues as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an outlined image of James as he morphs into "The Last Of The Americans" and lands with half of his team on his right and the other half on his left on a white background and the title "THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS" is shown it cuts to the swirl of red, white and blue and a number appears in the center as it cuts to The Different Cuts Of the Star Wars Trilogy as James does a voiceover)
3) The Different Cuts Of the Star Wars Trilogy
James Faraci (V.O.):
I had wanted to do this forever, even thinking about it as the initial version of The Different Cuts. However, we have Affleck for both versions of Daredevil for the change, and then The Star Wars Trilogy almost became the one I did on that fateful day in 2020. Though I wish I had done that and things would be different, even better. But I digress; I wanted to do this SINCE Disney bought the Star Wars Franchise. That is how long I have wanted to talk about the original movies and the changes made by Lucasfilms and how, without having to go to third-party dealers and bootleggers to find it physically, I couldn't give it. Plus, I wanted to allow Steve Kidd a chance to do something he wanted to do to Kylo Ren since "The Force Awakens" allowed him to make Kylo dig his own grave after killing his father, Han Solo. I also needed to get it out of me, and it was one of the best versions of The Different Cuts I've done so far. Now, back to The Last Of The Americans with both my Great Nieces. (Morphing sound)
TLOTA (V.O.): They're my Great Nieces, Too! (Cut to James in the lobby with his great nieces.)
TLOTA: As the argument between myself and me said it best, which is weird. I have been blessed with time with my Great Niece Kinsleigh and her new cousin Alaina. I take care of both when their moms are busy as I can carry one with this The Tushbaby - Safety-Certified Hip Seat Baby Carrier so I can make them feel comfortable as I can have one of my great nieces. I can hold my other one so they can look at each other while I set up their feed. Since Kinsleigh is now getting to the age of potty training, we set up the bathroom in my private office; it's called The Toilet Potty Training Seat with Step Stool Ladder. Perfect for when the time comes for little Kinsleigh to get ready to say bye-bye to diapers. (A young girl shouts, "Hey! Uncle Jimmy! Give my nieces back to their moms!") Okay, Viv! Their Aunt, I promised I would use the family's youngest members sparingly. So now I get to spend some time with someone just as awesome! Their Aunt Viv. (James hands the great-nieces to their moms as Vivian and James get ready to check out some fun games.)
TLOTA: So, kiddo, are you ready to play?
Vivian Lee Faraci: Yep, as long as Mr. Narducci is playing! (Cut to Chad Narducci at some board games)
Chad Narducci: As a matter of fact, I have. starting off with this little test of mentality TAPPLE, the object is simple: Choose a card with a category, press the timer, and shout out words related to the category that start with a specific letter. Once the related word is announced, press the corresponding letter tab. This is followed by BLANK SLATE, Which is simple enough: come up with the right word in the phrase, and the player with the most right phrases wins. Next up, OUTSMARTED! It’s a live family trivia quiz show: Outsmarted uses the power of technology to create the most exciting, immersive board game experience ever!! Put your friends & family in the Hot Seat against the clock in your Live TV Trivia Quiz Show. (Cut to James and Vivian)
Vivian Lee Faraci: What about your other friends.
TLOTA: They have games as well. (Cut to James and Vivian as they play with Taco vs Burrito Paulo and Brenda Fonseca and Vivian soundly wins, Upwords with Rebecca and Nick Yaun, Topple with John and Mike Santos, Perfection with Olivia Horvath and Renee Miller, and Yahtzee with Andrew Beach, Ed Champion, and Julia Alexa Miller. Before cutting to Vivian, she cracks her neck, stretches her arms and fingers, and says, "Let's go, Mr. Narducci!" and the two square off as Vivian soundly beats Chad, leading Chad to scream and fall on the floor crying, "WHY?" multiple times before cutting to James and Vivian)
Vivian Lee Faraci: He's really taking it hard.
TLOTA: Compared to how I react when the New York Jets lose, this is NOTHING! Why don't we comfort him with a movie he and you can enjoy?
Vivian Lee Faraci: Okay, Uncle Jimmy. Come on, Mr. Narducci
TLOTA: While that happens... (James taps on the smartwatch screen and morphs back to James Faraci)
James Faraci: Okay, it's time for me to get to work again! Number two(Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites, and Blues as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an outlined image of James as he morphs into "The Last Of The Americans" and lands with half of his team on his right and the other half on his left on a white background and the title "THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS" is shown it cuts to the swirl of red, white and blue and a number appears in the center as it cuts to S Club 7 TV series review as James does a voiceover)
James Faraci (V.O.):
Originally, I had planned on doing this as a Summer Spectacular, Similar to the one I did on "H2O: Just Add Water" & "Mako Mermaids." However, a tragic loss happened just as I was beginning to find what I needed for the Spectacular as the news of the passing of Paul Cattermole, one of the Seven, had passed away. I felt compelled to honor him and his life with the band. However, I also was reminded that in the States, they were known for only one song that hit the Top Ten on the Billboard Charts, which happened to be "Never Had A Dream Come True" in 2001. Otherwise, everyone knew about the band through their series on what is now known as "Freeform," which I do not have on my network lineup anymore; thank you very little Spectrum and Disney dispute! But still I was able to find what I needed for the review, and I was able to do something I hadn't done in a while! Sketches! I wanted to work on some funny non-sequiturs that fit into the narrative of the review's material. And as people pointed out, it was the FOURTH episode of S Club 7 in Hollywood that the band got their record deal, not the third as I so egregiously had posted. But I was glad to have done this in one shot rather than have to spend a summer going on about the series. And as I said earlier, Paul Cattermole's passing made it feel rightly timed. Speaking of rightly timed, "The Last Of The Americans" should be at his destination in 3, 2,... (Cut to James at the Hurleyville Performing Arts Centre in Hurleyville, NY.)
TLOTA:
Right on time. Yes, this building is the Hurleyville Performing Arts Centre here in the Small town of Hurleyville, where down the road, you can grab some regional Italian-American Fare, or you can try some of the epicurean meals on the Center's grounds and even, dare I say check out a movie or two. (Cut to James in the Performing Arts Center as he does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
The Hurleyville Performing Arts Centre is an independent community-supported organization. It houses a cinema, ballroom event space, dance studios, yoga studio, cafe, thrift shop, and gallery. We believe in serving the community by creating shared experiences by presenting quality classes, fine arts programming, and a diverse performing arts series accessible to everyone. Our venue sits at the center of a bucolic main street with a children’s playground, basketball & pickle ball courts, restaurants, a high school, and nine miles of Rails-to-Trails that follow ecologically diverse watersheds. The Hurleyville Performing Arts Centre includes a first-run movie theater. It has hosted various events, including the popular NPR storytellers, the Sullivan County Chamber Orchestra, theatrical productions, dance classes, studio recitals, competitions, and performances. The grand ballroom used as a concert hall and event space is known for its exceptional acoustics and elegant surroundings for guest speakers, corporate and private events, and performances of all types. The Centre is run by Janet Carrus, and while I didn't get an interview, I did get a chance to enjoy a movie here that I probably wouldn't have in any other case. I got a chance to see The Super Mario Bros. Movie here. I also discovered that this place can celebrate local and outsider movie makers after the fall of the Hippodrome in Loch Sheldrake. Maybe I can convince certain people to have their movies shown here at the local film festival. However, that happens in the Rivoli Theatre in Fallsburgh, NY, which also houses the Sullivan County Dramatic Workshop. The bottom line is that both the Centre and the Theatre are showing something that hasn't happened in Upstate New York, that life and art are happening here. And now we go to...
(Scene cuts to a finger as it taps an app on a watch as it opens a portal the 1994 American Gladiators theme song plays , and it cuts to different images of James as the characters he’s played until it cuts to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans'” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, and Nick Yaun as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca & Rebecca and Nick Yaun” is shown as it then slides away to different images of John Ross and Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, and Ed Champion as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “John Ross Santos, Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion” is shown as it then slides away to different images of Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath and the credits of “Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” is shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites, and Blues as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions. Edited by Eric Kurtzke and Paulo Fonseca. Written and Directed by James Faraci” as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an outlined image of James as he morphs into “The Last Of The Americans” and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a white background, and the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays James Faraci" as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an outlined image of James as he morphs into "The Last Of The Americans" and lands with half of his team on his right and the other half on his left on a white background and the title "THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS" is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays and the words "The Last Of The Americans" appear as it cuts to the swirl of red, white and blue and a number appears in the center as James does a voiceover)
James Faraci (V.O.): The Number one moment of The Last Of The Americans of 2023
1) The Tenth Anniversary Review: Man Of Steel
James Faraci (V.O.): Going into this review, I knew the following: A) It still remains Polarizing, B) It still tainted the legacy of Superman, C) I STILL didn't like Zod in this movie, and the performance of Michael Shannon in this movie, D) This was the first movie after the Dark Knight Trilogy, and that had some ramifications to the success to any further DC Movie, and Finally there would be comparisons to the Christopher Reeve Classic movie. That said, I needed to focus on reviewing the movie without relying too much on what would go into a usual The Last Of The Americans review. The results speak for itself. Possibly one of the most brutal movies I've had to talk about and one of the best reviews I've done because it led me by the end of the review I was able to retrospect on everything I had done in the past ten years of reviewing and all the personal highs and lows I went through. And if there are moments that should be on this list, let me know in the comments section. Next up is The Last Of The Americans, as he goes over the five best movies of this year. (Cut to clips of movies of 2023 as The Last Of The Americans does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.): Thanks, James; now to the five best movies of 2023 to get for your film fan from this year.
Number Five: Blue Beetle
Yeah, it's a shocker for me to put this on this list. Jaime Reyes' origin story is about how he gains the powers of the Blue Beetle and how his family is the people who can help him harness his powers and gain some semblance of a normal life. What puts it on this list is the acting, the writing, and the direction. George Lopez, Xolo Maridueña and everyone gives a great performance that it almost redeems a lot of what has been happening to the DC movies but not by much.
Number Four: Indiana Jones and The Dial Of Destiny)
Harrison Ford returns for his final appearance as the Archaeologist as he must once again stop a madman from using a time-traveling mcguffin to take over the world. Now, he is separated from Marion after Mutt dies in Vietnam. He is not the same Indy we first saw in "Raiders Of The Lost Ark," as he now feels that he is history at a point where history was being made as the movie is set in the pivotal year of 1969 as the Apollo 11 flight puts man on the moon. While it feels like classic Indiana Jones, it's clear that this is Indy's last ride, and I can say it was a better ending than "Temple Of Doom" had.
Number Three: Avatar: The Way Of Water)
Sulley and his family have to run to protect the tribe against the returning earthlings who are hellbent on taking the elements from Pandora and destroying the Na'Vi. Learning about a new tribe to give everyone in Sulley's Family sanctuary and learning a new way of living, Sulley soon has to live with this new tribe as this new course for Sulley and his family goes less than smoothly. He eventually finds a way to regain the courage to fight and fight for his family and his new people. Yes, this sequel is an excellent continuation of the first movie and did well enough for more movies.
Number Two: The Super Mario Bros. Movie)
Mario and Luigi, The Super Mario Brothers, are plumbers in Brooklyn, and they are on a job that finds them in the Mushroom Kingdom battling Bowser, the King of Koopas. While the casting of celebrities for the voices of Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, Toad, and Bowser is a source of sourness for a lot of the fans, I have to say it didn't bother me because what drew me to the movie was the visuals, the story, and the direction. In a review, I even went into full detail about how awesome it was.
And at Number One: Oppenheimer)
The autobiographical telling of the man who created the first ultimate doomsday device in The Manhattan Project. Cillian Murphy encapsulates the man who was the head of the project, and while people consider the weapon the ultimate deterrent against further aggression in future wars. Christopher Nolan showed that Oppenheimer was devastated by the results of his work and had to live with the fact he was, for all intents and purposes, the destroyer of worlds! All of these movies are available in physical and digital formats. Check them out and other movies wherever they're available. (Cut to James in his lobby as he sits with Vivian)
TLOTA:
Well, I hope you enjoyed this year's shopping list; I... hey Viv, what you got there? Looks like a BACKBONE One Mobile Gaming Controller, which hooks up to an iPhone or any other smartphone and turns it into a portable gaming console.
Vivian Lee Faraci:
It is; how do you know?
TLOTA:
Well, kiddo, Your uncle Jimmy has one himself. As does Mr. Narducci!
Chad Narducci:
Okay, Vivian, this is it, one last chance at redemption from years of being humiliated. One game, Dragon's Lair! The one that's furthest along wins! (Show the three as they play Dragon's Lair, with Vivian and James doing better than Chad. Eventually, Chad huffs off in defeat!)
TLOTA:
Got him again! (The two high-five each other) Merry Christmas, everyone, I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans. (Scene fades to black as it cuts to James as he continues to walk and the instrumental for "Happy XMas (War Is Over).")
James Faraci (Internal thoughts):
Oh god, it's so cold. I can't help but keep moving. I still have to make it westward, end it! End it all. I have to end it. I wonder if anyone out there knows everything about me and cares. (Cut to Rowdy as he sadly celebrates the holidays, wondering where James is and preparing for another fight. Cut to James as he continues to walk westwards.) If someone I knew has honestly forgotten me and is now better off without me (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller and the pod celebrating their end of celestial year festivities as Julia Alexa Miller looks at the stars with the fading hope James will find her. Cut to James as he continues to walk westwards.) I just look and know that the only truth I know is that heroes have failed; evil wins constantly. I should know if I was a hero; everything I fought for seems to have gone extinct. I have failed. (James continues to walk as the snow blows over James' walking and fades to black.)
No comments:
Post a Comment