"Public Enemies" Number One and two "Superman & Batman"

(Opening begins at the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators' original run play. The camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words "The Last Of The Americans" on it before cutting to James in his office)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. Outside of the Live-Action movies, I think I am a little harsh on D.C. Comics and the media they are producing. (Cut to clips of Superman & Lois, The Flash, Supergirl, Legends Of Tomorrow, Black Lightning, and Arrow as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
I mean, a lot of their series are good. Arrow had a lot of fantastic episodes. Black Lightning was a good series; part of the reason I'm doing this review is to see if we can get Legends Of Tomorrow back and continue. Melissa Benoist and her Supergirl Series were a big reason I can like Supergirl again. Even though The Flash is still going, I think it has lost a lot of its speed. But a highlight for me is Superman & Lois because it's not a Superman series in the usual sense. It's a drama about a family who had to uproot themselves to discover who they truly are and where they fit in. And for my money, Tyler Hoechlin is KILLING it as Superman and Clark Kent, who have to try and be there for his wife Lois Lane, played by Elizabeth "Bitsie" Tulloch, and twin sons Jonathan and Jordan, played by Jordan Elsass, and Alex Garfin. You need to see the series if you haven't seen it. (Cut to the DC Animated movies as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Also in this column of really great entertainment which has continued to be of quality work are their straight-to Blu-Ray, DVD & Digital Animated movies. Many of them remain some of my favorites, including Batman: Mask Of The Phantasm, Batman Beyond: Return Of The Joker, The Death, and Return Of Superman. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
 There is a movie that forces Superman and Batman to work together to clear their names after a corrupt President Luthor declares them public enemies No. 1 & 2. I'll let you figure out which is which. (Cut to Title Card for Superman/Batman Public Enemies, then to clips of the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Superman/Batman Public Enemies is based on the comic book storyline series at the time involving the two and Lex Luthor as the President of our country. And given the Presidents we've been dealing with, He may just be the least evil choice in the history of Presidential Electorates, which is saying something impossible. But what is it that forces Superman and Batman to team up and find out what in the Samuel Langford Hell is going on! And how without question, they have to defy a Government to protect a planet. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Let's not waste time; this is Superman/Batman Public Enemies! (Cut to Superman/Batman: Public Enemies as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
The movie opens as we hear about how our country has gone to hell just as Lex Luthor announces his candidacy for the presidency, and yeah, this movie must have had a crystal ball because the people thought the Devil you know is better than the one that screwed you several times over as guess what?! Lex wins in a landslide! He then suggests all the Superheroes sign on to work for him. He gets Black Lightning, played by LeVar Burton,  Captain Atom, played by Xander Berkley, Major Force, played by Ricardo Antonio Chavira, and Power Girl, played by... (Cut to James physically as he looks up and sees who plays Power Girl)

TLOTA:
ONE ORDER OF UNCOMFORTABLENESS, PLEASE! (Cut to stills of Chloe Sullivan from Smallville and Allison Mack as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
So yeah, I had to talk about Smallville a few years ago, defending it. I also had to break character to try and handle the situation that Allison Mack, who played Chloe Sullivan on Smallville, was involved in. Once the series ended, she found herself in a career freefall, then found herself in a Sex Cult, and was arrested for trafficking. At the time, I was somewhat hopeful she would be able to get her life and career back on track. While it did take time to do so, and I wished her the best, I was lambasted for it and my defense of the show/loving the finale. That being said, I will try to be as objective in this review as her character and in the movie.  (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
That being said, let's get back to the review. (Cut to Superman/Batman: Public Enemies as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
 We cut to a few months down the road as things have been looking up as Superman, played by Tim Daly, stops a common crime as Luthor's hired heroes to come by to try to convince Superman that Lex is not as bad. However, after fighting Lex for so long, Superman would rather hang out with The Friggin Joker than trust Lex Luthor! Meanwhile, Lex and the Government discover an asteroid made of Kryptonite that's gonna hit our planet, and judging by the sheer size of the sucker, this one makes the one from Armageddon look tiny in comparison.  (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And since Bruce Willis is now out of action permanently, there's no drilling team to save the day. There are only the heroes of DC to call upon...(Cut to Superman/Batman: Public Enemies as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
So yeah, Luthor decides to hold a press conference to see if Superman will help. And it's here Batman voiced by Kevin Conroy, verifies that this Kryptonite asteroid is massive and not even with enough Lead from every Nuclear power plant, Hospital, and every ounce mined out of the earth wouldn't help Superman. So it is with great reluctance that Superman meets with Luthor and his bodyguard Metallo as played by... (Show a pic of John C. McGinley from Scrubs. Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Wow, this is actually going to give me the ability to use at least nine years worth of accumulated backlogged hours of Dr. Cox clips.(Cut to Superman/Batman: Public Enemies as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Lex tells Metallo to stop Superman and (Cut to Dr. Cox "Whack-A-Newbie" audio clip as Metallo begins to fight Superman). Metallo has the upper hand, and instead of continuing on the battle (Cut to Dr. Cox audio clip of him saying "Ladies and Gentlemen, Man Not Caring!" then an audio clip of Dr. Cox making a blaring noise as the fight continues. The fight continues as Metallo breaks out the heavy-duty weapons as Dr. Cox says "I guarantee your life will come to an abrupt and very unnatural end". Metallo tosses Superman as the sound of Dr. Cox's disturbing chuckle happens, and Metallo gets up as the Dr. Cox clip of him saying "Hi Honey!") As Superman gets up to try to think of his next move, Metallo hunts Superman as Batman joins the fray. (Show the fight continuing as Dr. Cox Audio clip of him saying, "OKAY! NOW JUST BECAUSE JORDAN THINKS IT'S CUTE THAT YOU'RE VIOLATING HER LITTLE SISTER, IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN USE MY GUEST ROOM FOR YOUR NERDY G-RATED SEXCAPADES! AND OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY LITTLE BOY? YOU SICK, SICK BASTARD! FILTHY BOY! FILTHY GIRL! FILTHY GIRL!"  Metallo shoots Superman and is stuck with bombs as Dr. Cox audio clip of him whistling "Super" as an explosion happens, and Metallo then buries Superman and Batman.) Batman and Superman are buried as the dialogue between them become almost Tarantino-esque. While I would love to hear a full audio moment of Tim Daly and Kevin Conroy doing the whole Jules and Vincent opening monologues from Pulp Fiction one day, I know where my focus has to be as Metallo is confronted by someone lurking in the shadows. (Show clip of Metallo as the Dr. Cox audio clip of him saying "Worth it" plays. Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Wow, that got me... (James looks in a box) EGADS! I only made a small dent in the accumulated backlogged hours of Dr. Cox Clips. Well, here's hoping I find more clips for Dr. Cox to give me pleasure. I can think of one, but I will hold out until the end. (Cut to Superman/Batman: Public Enemies as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Batman and Superman make it back to the Batcave, where Alfred heals them up, and it's there they hear Luthor's latest press conference where he discovered Metallo Barbequed and then puts it squarely on Superman's shoulders, saying somehow The Kryptonite Meteorite's radiation exposure has made him Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs and has put a billion dollar bounty on the Man of Steel! Superman and Batman will have to figure out how to stop the meteor while fighting everyone off the bounty, how Metallo bit the dust, and how to clear their names before it becomes too late. Power Girl tries to rationalize how in the years since becoming President, Luthor has done his job. Superman and Batman make it to STAR Labs as they find out that someone with radioactive heat vision is the culprit of Metallo's demise. However, they don't have much time to figure that part out as guards and supervillains come out of the woodwork to get their hands on Superman and Batman. Even the Silver Banshee is out there to get her hands on Superman. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And for those who are wondering why Silver Banshee's sonic screams aren't affecting me... Well, have you seen my reviews where Alex gets angry and fricassees either myself or someone else? (Cut to Superman/Batman: Public Enemies as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):

With literally everyone, including Mr. Kitch Nsink coming out to collect the bounty. Captain Atom and the other Luthor-employed heroes come to arrest Superman. However, it's round 428 as Batman must take on Luthor's heroes, and somehow in the process, it's discovered that Major Force was the one to turn Metallo into Slag! Major Force goes on the attack as his suit is ruptured by a punch from Power Girl. Captain Atom absorbs the power before it turns Metropolis into a crater! Meanwhile, Luthor's Missile plans work about as well as Deep Impact did after coming out after Armageddon. Luthor tells the people, not to panic, which is the same as ringing a dinner bell for chaos! Superman and Batman make it to the hideout just as OH NO! NOT SHAZAM AND HAWKMAN?! Didn't they hear from Black Lightning, Katana, or anyone that Superman wasn't the one to 86 Metallo? Whatever is going on, Superman and Batman fight Hawkman and Shazam as Amanda Waller, played by CCH Pounder, discovers that Lex Luthor has been doing some Kryptonite juicing, which has made him go even further round the bend carrying a DecaOctotrillion ton of Crazy with him. However, as Lex tries to talk to Shazam and Hawkman, it is, in fact, Superman and Batman incognito wanting the data on the meteor. However, Luthor deletes it instead. Remember, he's gone cuckoo; on the other hand, Waller had a backup for Batman and Waller's mutual associate. Waller tries to arrest Luthor however, even though he's cuckoo, it doesn't mean he's stupid as he has his Supersuit ready just in case. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Again, this is Lex Luthor we're talking about, so yeah. He would have it at his beck and call. (Cut to Superman/Batman: Public Enemies as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):

Superman and Batman make it to Japan, where they meet Hiro, AKA The Toyman, to help with stopping the asteroid. Having little time, Hiro puts together a mecha zord combination of Superman and Batman as the device to destroy the asteroid! (Cut to James Physically)

TLOTA:
Now imagine that! A Mecha Superman/Batman Zord! That is so many levels of awesome! (Cut to Superman/Batman: Public Enemies as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):

But leave it to the Cuckoo train that it is President Lex Luthor to come in and try to stop them. With the autopilot Kaput, Batman decides to make the hero play and launches The SuperBatman Megazord into the asteroid! Pissed that Batman is going to die because of Luthor. The kid gloves come off as Superman, and Luthor fights it out again! Superman knocks Luthor's super suit off in pieces, then tells the President, He's just been impeached! As the Asteroid is reduced to dust, Power Girl tells Superman there is a chance that Batman may have survived, and by may have, that means "Of course, he did!" as Superman helps Batman land the Batjet with Superman Logo on it. The two are cleared of Metallo's murder, Luthor is thrown into prison until he is impeached and imprisoned, and Batman returns to the shadows as Lois and Superman enjoy the first new morning together. (Cut to James physically) 

TLOTA:
And that was Superman/Batman Public Enemies. It was awesome, and I loved it. (Cut to clips of Superman/Batman: Public Enemies as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
While looking like a combo of a Saturday Morning Cartoon and Weekday Afternoon Anime, the animation is awesome. The voice acting is superb, and the action was awesome. The dialogue between Superman and Batman was very well handled, especially since Kevin Conroy, Tim Daly, and Clancy Brown have known their parts for so long that they fit like a glove. If you haven't seen it, what are you waiting for? Get it on DVD, Blu-Ray, or even Digital and witness two of DC's greatest defend their names against a President who sold us a bill of goods. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And just so I can get it out of me, that while many of you think the last guy in the office is the reason for everything going to hell. Let me get this out right here, right now, every little thing that is going wrong is happening under the current administration, and BOY, When we choose poorly, we deserve what is happening! So it is here I give you this Dr. Cox clip. (Show clip of Dr. Cox's "I Told You So" Dance. Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Man, I've wanted to use that clip. I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, and that's my opinion!