Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Just Add Water: My Mako Adventure: Mako Mermaids Season 3 Part 1

(0:00-1:00 of the third season trailer plays uninterrupted before going to 1:00-1:30 play in the background as James does a voiceover.)

James Faraci (Voiceover): OH..... GOOODIE! A dragon! I can actually feel George R.R. Martin getting ready to sue somebody or go all Red Wedding on everyone involved behind the scenes of this season. Welcome my friends To Mako Mermaids Season three. (Fade to black)

(Cut to Scenes from season three of "Mako Mermaids" as "I Just Wanna Be" is played in the background before cutting Mako Island before it cuts to a scene of James in a lounge chair and the words "Just Add Water: My Mako Adventure" above James before cutting to clips of the show and the season as James first sighs and then groans and does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Ladies and gentlemen, this is the season where Jonathan Shiff gave up and everyone in the cast of Mako Mermaids when they looked at the scripts for this season then looked at the writers and they realized....(Cut to the clip of MST3K where Joel, Tom Servo and Crow say in Unison "THEY JUST DIDN'T CARE" before cutting back to the third season as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): And in all honesty, there was no reason at all for this season to happen! The Main conflict had been resolved. Zac was no longer considered a threat! The pod had returned to Mako Island.What else could they do? I mean yeah there was plenty that could've been done, they could've focused this season on Evie and Zac becoming more acclimated to life as part of the Pod causing tensions between the humans they've known and the Pod they're just beginning to know, they could've done something to make Cam, Carly and David become more important characters maybe them being the key to Rita's hopes of humans and merfolk becoming united, Lyla could've returned causing tension between Evie and Zac forcing Zac to chose between the mermaid he knew for a brief period or the mermaid he's known all his life. What would we get for this supposed final season? Sadly what we would get is a season of missteps, bad ideas and one of the characters getting a worse Screw Job then what happened in Montreal 20 years ago to Bret Hart. Something interesting to note about this season as it was just about to premiere on Netflix, the Disney Channel aired season one of Mako Mermaids here in the States and have yet to do so for the rest of the series, it's a funny old world isn't it? In addition there was apparently some back and forth between Netflix, Network Eleven and Jonathan Shiff as to how many episodes were going to be produced eventually coming to an agreement on a season consisting of 16 episodes. Which is not bad, I mean it is possible for a storyline to be resolved in such a short amount of episodes, Hell the final season of "GLEE" had basically 13 episodes for their final season and they were able to have the series end on a satisfactory note in my opinion anyway. However a lot of the episodes for this season of Mako Mermaids doesn't focus on the main storyline. A lot of the episodes are just filler with the odd episode actually involving the storyline which is a fail in Storyline Writing 101 and I know a lot of you are saying to yourselves right now "This one won't be long, It's 16 episodes." To which I say to you, Did you even check the title? I haven't done a one off part in this retrospective since "H2O: Just Add Water Season One" Also just because it is sixteen episodes doesn't mean it's gonna be a piece of Baklava, especially if the pace is slow. And sadly the pacing in this season is painfully slow, it is so slow I could watch "Star Trek: The Motion Picture" ten times and the pace of "Star Trek: The Motion Picture" would still be faster than this season! But now after all I have said let's get into the supposed final season of "Mako Mermaids" and I will address the rest of the problems as we go along!

The Season begins with "A Visit From The East" We open up in China as we're quickly introduced to Weilan played by Linda Ngo as she hits the water she becomes a mermaid and something big and nasty follows her. We then cut to a month later as Evie prepares to take part in her first full moon ceremony as a member of the pod. In the meanwhile David is in a funk because Sirena is with her sister... on vacation... in Hawaii. Sadly, Amy Ruffle who played Sirena left the series after two seasons and I think I know why when we talk about the characters. Meanwhile Veridia comes to Ondina with a unique proposal to teach the young mermaids in the pod in which she accepts. Why? To help her get over Erik? Because from the look on her face after she dumped the guy you could tell she was pretty much over him. I know I would be if the person I was dating was trying to slowly but surely drain the life out of me, I know I'd tell her we were done and not have thought twice about it. . Not long after Weilan is found helping a young mermaid who was one of Ondina's students and then arrives at Rita's and given sanctuary because Weilan's Grandma and Rita are old friends not that we would've known that especially given what we know about Rita. But for now it's almost time for Evie's first Mako Pod Full Moon Celebration which is interrupted when the big nasty thing that Weilan thought she escaped from finds her and finds Mako Island and it just happens to be a dragon made of water! Now here is where things quickly go south this season. While the Dragon is subdued by the end of the episode. Weilan informs everyone that now the Dragon is awakened the pod is in greater danger now than they were when Zac became a merman ."A Visit Of The East" is a great episode and definitely a good set up for a good season. A good final season? Not really.

That is only because again less than a fraction of this season actually focus on the storyline of everyone trying to stop the dragon which is supposed to be the main storyline. That storyline gets shoved to the sideline while most of the episodes focuses on the wrong subplot like Ondina teaching the young school of mermaids or the subplot involving Cam buying out David's brother's stake in the Juice Bar just so it can stay open! A Good Ninety-five Percent of this season are simply filler and missteps and not helping is Weilan character wise. I like Linda Ngo as an actress, but as Weilan she tries too hard be serious in her delivery and while Weilan is okay in small doses she quickly becomes a drain on the series and driving me Cuckoo! When she tries to act seriously, I can't take what she was doing or saying serious. I mean in one scene in the season premiere she's taking a selfie with Poseidon and in the next She's trying to be so serious about the dragon but to me it looks like she comes off putting out a bad performance! And I do not personally blame Linda Ngo for this, it's like the writers had no idea what to do with the character or this season and again the writers are to blame for this failure of a season. Like I've been saying, it feels like Jonathan Shiff gave up and everyone in the cast looked at the scripts for this season then looked at the writers and they realized....(Cut to the clip of MST3K where Joel, Tom Servo and Crow say in Unison "THEY JUST DIDN'T CARE" before cutting back to the third season as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Following the Season premiere, we discover in "Seeing Is Believing" Ondina doesn't exactly get along with Weilan especially when she trashes Rita's Grotto and blames Weilan for bringing the dragon to the pod and it's not hard to disagree with Ondina in this case. Weilan was the one who found the dragon, accidentally mind you but still, I agree with you Ondina! Weilan has put the pod in greater danger then when they thought Zac was the main threat! Weilan could've gone anywhere! ANYWHERE BUT MAKO ISLAND! BUT WEILAN IS GIVEN SANCTUARY BY THE POD THE SAME POD WHO IS IN MORE DANGER NOW THEN THEY WERE WHEN ZAC GOT HIS TAIL AND POWERS! Okay yeah it was Rita who gave her Sanctuary but still The Pod allowed Rita to give sanctuary to Weilan and because Rita is still a member of the Pod by proxy The Pod is to blame for this as much as Rita and Weilan is. While the two become friendly by the end of the episode, I have to once again point out that most of what happens in this episode and this season is filler and missteps. While there is a plan in motion for the next full moon should the dragon attack for Zac to defend the moon pool and the pod would assist, again a lot of what happens in these episodes involve filler and missteps.

The next major misstep happens in the episode "The Way Of The Dragon". It's the night of the Full Moon and everyone is ready to end the dragon though showing everyone getting ready throughout this season would've been more interesting than dancing lessons between Zac and Cam or having Evie misuse her powers because the writers have it out for Evie and her actress Gemma Forsyth. (Sighs) Have I said enough how much this season sucks seawater? Veridia however tasks Ondina and Mimmi to care of the young mermaids and Weilan tells Veridia that it's safer for the pod to be on the west side of the Island. Weilan obviously lied and Zac and Evie try to stop the dragon and fail, costing Evie her tail and her powers. Okay, this is the Screw job I mentioned earlier in this retrospective! I want to know which of the writers had it out for actress Gemma Forsyth and her character because they put her through hell to save Zac, her mermaid friends and the pod last season and this is her reward for helping? I should stop this retrospective right here because what they did to her at the end of this episode and what happens to her in the next episode is complete BS! In the follow up episode after Evie loses her tail and powers, Weilan feels guilty for costing Evie her tail and Powers as she should! Weilan then consults an Asian Antiquity shop owner named Shen who is first introduced in episode five and considers running away from the pod hoping the Dragon would follow her. Shen tells her that she can run but her problems would not be fixed! Meanwhile Ondina and Mimmi try to help Evie get her tail and powers back but it backfires causing Ondina to be stuck with her tail even when she dries off. Weilan comes back to help Ondina regain her legs. However by the end of the episode Evie decides to return her moon ring, leave the pod and basically return to her old life as a human. Now I'm sure the budget wasn't plausible for Evie to be a mermaid throughout the entire season but she could've still been one in name only using her for when she was necessary to the storyline and just let her be a normal human when she wasn't needed to be a mermaid. There was a gigantic backlash towards this decision by the fans towards what they did to Evie and it's not that hard to see why. They gave a secondary character a great advancement in her character just to take away what they did to her because the writers wanted Evie to suffer is on par with how big a screw job The Hitman Bret Hart got in Montreal 20 years ago. But yeah, Evie is now once again worthless to the plot from this moment forward and The Writers got possibly their biggest set of Jollies in doing that to Evie and her actress Gemma Forsyth.

So... Evie's Screw job. WHAT... THE... LITERAL... DEFINITION...OF...HELL?! ADMITTEDLY EVIE WASN'T EXACTLY ENDEARING IN THE FIRST FEW EPISODES OF THE SERIES BUT SHE SLOWY BUT SURELY GREW ON ME. MAKING HER A MERMAID WAS THE LOGICAL NEXT STEP TOWARDS DEVELOPING HER CHARACTER, TO DO WHAT THEY DID TO HER THIS SEASON WAS A SLAP IN THE FACE TO THE CHARACTER OF EVIE AND TO GEMMA FORSYTH THE ACTRESS WHO PLAYED EVIE AND WHAT HAPPENED TO EVIE IS EQUALLY AS SHODDY AS IS THIS SEASON. SIMPLY BECAUSE SHE HAS LOST HER TAIL AND POWERS NOW, IT DOESN'T MEAN SHE SHOULD LOSE THEM FOREVER,  HELL EVIE BELIEVES IT TO BE PERMANENT! NONE OF THE MERMAIDS TRULY KNOW IF THIS IS PERMANENT OR TEMPORARY. AGAIN THE WRITERS ARE TO BLAME FOR THIS SCREWJOB AND FORCING HER BACK INTO BEING A POINTLESS SECONDARY CHARACTER AND YES, EVEN THOUGH SHE'S STILL LISTED IN THE MAIN CAST EVIE MCLAREN IS NOW ONCE AGAIN POINTLESS TO THE MAIN PLOT. THIS IS JUST...just... WOW! WHEN WORDS FAIL ME AND I CONSIDER MYSELF ONE HELL OF A WORDSMITH, YOU KNOW HOW BIG A FAIL THIS SEASON IS!

THIS SEASON FOR EVIE SHOULD'VE BEEN HER FINAL STEP TOWARDS BECOMING A FULLY DEVELOPED CHARACTER! HER SLOWLY ACCLIMATING TO THE LIFE OF A MERMAID, BRINGING CARLY ALONG IN HER JOURNEY AND MAKING A CARLY A MERMAID IN THE PROCESS SO EVIE CAN HAVE HER FRIEND ALONG IN HER NEW LIFE. THE STAKES SHOULD'VE BEEN BETTER FOR EVIE, HER JOURNEY LEADING HER TO THE POD AND EVIE BECOMING FULLY REALIZED! INSTEAD WE GET A CHARACTER WHO GRATES ON MY NERVES AND MY PATIENCE WITH HER PERFORMANCE BEING THE MOST ANNOYING, THE PACE OF THE SEASON BEING THE WORST IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, THE LAST OF THE THREE MERMAIDS FROM THE BEGINNING OF THIS SERIES BAILING AND THE WRITERS STICKING WHAT WOULD'VE HAPPENED TO HER ONTO A CHARACTER WHO LITERALLY COULD'VE BEEN DOING ANYTHING ELSE THAN WHAT THEY GAVE HER THIS SEASON, A DRAGON BECAUSE THE WRITERS WANTED THE GAME OF THRONES AUDIENCE AND HAD GOTTEN THEIR DEMENTED JOLLIES BY FORCING A GOOD CHARACTER BACK TO BEING POINTLESS TO THE MAIN PLOT AND THE WRITERS NOT GIVING HER ANY SORT OF MOMENT OF HOPE BECAUSE THE WRITERS IDIOTICALLY DECIDED NOT TO USE THEIR BRAINS AT ANY POINT IN THIS SEASON! AND WE'VE ONCE AGAIN GOT A BUNCH OF KIDS RUNNING A FREAKING JUICE BAR!

(The audio of James inhaling a deep breath in before an F sound is heard before cutting to the clip of "Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part 1" episode from "The Simpsons" after the loudest F-Bomb being drowned out by a loud Church Organ Blast that scare doves have everyone look at the Simpsons' home before we See Ned Flanders say "Dear Lord That's the loudest Profanity I've ever heard!" Before fading to black)

To Be Concluded in Part 2

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