In defense of... Superfriends!

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then cutting to James in his chair)

TLOTA: I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own & some of yours and welcome to another edition of "In Defense Of..."(Show pics of maligned pieces of pop culture while the fanfare from the Olympics  play and James comes up after Vanilla Ice slides back and his right hand thumbs up and the words "In Defense Of..."  before cutting to James in his office quarters.)

TLOTA: Do you want to know how I discovered The Justice League, outside of the Comic books? Well...(Cut to the original "Superfriends" intro before cutting to clips of the different seasons of the series as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Believe it or not I actually watched this series though granted it was in the Syndication market by the time I saw it and it was pared with the Filmation Batman & Superman shorts and my initial reaction was "Wow, this is entertaining." What I didn't know was that there were people who despise it because Superfriends was considered a watered down Justice League. But to be honest if you weren't into Comics, well this was an introduction to those characters. I actually found out about Characters like Wonder Woman, Aquaman, The Flash and all the great DC Comics characters. Most of them anyway. But unfortunately Hanna-Barbera had added their own characters especially in the first season with Wendy, Marvin and WonderDog. It's safe to say why they were traded in for the three original characters most associated with this series The Wonder Twins and their Space Monkey Gleek. I'll say this about them, they weren't as annoying as say the likes of Jar-Jar Binks or Shia LaBeouf. But when one can turn into any form of water & all you need is a Sponge to take that one down and seeing as how the other one can become an animal which might be in season. Yeah, pretty lame duo you've got there. Then there is of course Aquaman, I've got nothing against the guy. Yeah, he commands all sea life, he rules the portion of the Earth covered in water, his skin is tougher than steel, he controls water telekinetically, he founded the Justice League, he's stronger than Superman, he can summon Cthulhu! CTHULU! Yet in this series he's comedic fodder. If the guy can summon Cthulhu, I KNOW I'm toast! So yeah while I'm on the subject of heroes being comedic fodder, Yeah I had to talk about how much they severely disrespected the Man Of Steel in this series. Had it not been for network censors I'm willing to bet Doughnuts to Dollars they would've had every single San Francisco & Fire Island Joke come out of Superman's mouth because they had made him a bigger joke than the late night Superman Musical ABC did! But this series was started before Christopher Reeve starred in the Movies that kick started the Renaissance of the Man Of Steel So the people obviously had no other choice but to make Superman the butt of the joke.(Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: So do I hate the Superfriends for making Superman and Aquaman look pathetic when really they're not or for how they misrepresented The Justice League or for the side characters that actually weren't in The Justice League or anything that people have against this series? NO!( Cut to clips of the different seasons of "Superfriends" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): I give the series major props for being an introduction to The Justice League in a way The Comics were unable to be. Yes the original characters including "The Wonder Twins" & Gleek were boring, but the later seasons introduced Characters before they were actually deemed cool by the audiences. In the last two series they brought in Darkseid and his crew and for those wondering yes Darkseid is voiced in those series by Frank Welker! And they had brought Cyborg in on the final series voiced by Ernie Hudson Plus they also had some real talent behind the scenes including Alan Burnett, Bob Kane (Yes THE Batman's Creator Bob Kane),  Andrea Romano and so many who would go on to make the DC Characters be done right. So this show should NOT be so easily dismissed. Does the earlier entries in the franchise have it's moments of cheesiness? What series doesn't and the fact it lasted longer than many of the other series during that era must mean it had staying power then as it does today. And if you're as much a fan of this classic series, a good proportion of the series from this time is available on DVD. So if you're a fan you can enjoy it and maybe convince your friend why this series may be as good as you remember it. (Cut to James Physically)

TLOTA: I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That's My Opinion!

The "Bat" of the Present falls as "The Dark Knight Rises"

(A black screen with cracking glass shows pieces of white light before that make up the words “The Last Of The Americans” before cutting to James physically)

TLOTA: I’m just going to come out and say it. “The Dark Knight Rises” is WORSE than Joel Schumacher’s “Batman & Robin”! (A loud knocking is heard as James walks out of his office as Christopher Nolan’s Batman played by Paulo Fonseca tries to sneak attack James but James fends off Batman as James opens the front door to James office only to see Christopher Nolan’s Bane played by Eric Kurtzke standing there!)

C.N. Batman: BANE!

C.N. Bane: Let us not stand on ceremony here, Mr. Wayne!

TLOTA: FOR THE LOVE OF PEAT MOSS! DIDN’T I DECAPITATE YOU!  AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOUR HEAD IS OVER THE DOOR IN MY PRIVATE OFFICE!

C.N. Bane: Oh James Faraci The Last Of The Americans! I survive because of the ideals my character has thanks to Christopher Nolan’s “The Dark Knight Rises”, the greatest Batman movie of all times! Thanks to me!

C.N. Batman: It’s the greatest because it ends my saga with a glorious victory!

TLOTA: And guess what you’re both wrong! Because guess what for all its attempt to be this amazing cinematic masterpiece “The Dark Knight Rises” does everything in its power to be worse than Joel Schumacher’s “Batman & Robin” and trust me when we get to the ending, I’m going to let you know, why your movies FAILED! (Cut to clips of “The Dark Knight Rises” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Whereas Joel Schumacher’s “Batman & Robin” was overly comical, “The Dark Knight Rises” was so overly serious it made itself more of a joke. The dramatic moments are too dramatic, the moments that are meant to be funny doesn’t come off that way & the agendas that Christopher Nolan believe in are forced to the foreground making people forget that the movie we’re supposed to watch an entertaining Batman movie. (Cut to James in the middle of the main lobby between Christopher Nolan’s Bane & Christopher Nolan’s Batman)

TLOTA: So let’s not waste anytime… Well just one moment. ORAC! Delta Level Defense! (James pulls out dual Sonic Screwdrivers and uses them to knock out both Christopher Nolan’s Batman & Bane) This is “The Dark Knight Rises” (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): So our movie begins in a faraway land where a terrorist known as Bane played by Tom Hardy has been apprehended as has a Nuclear Physicist in Mid-Flight the lead officer tries to threaten one of the terrorists when… (Cut to Bane “Talking” before cutting to James barricading his office quarters.)

TLOTA: Okay, there is NO way that voice belongs to Bane. (Cut to The Clip of the officer taking off the hood and revealing Bane and he continues to talk before cutting to James in his office.) No! (Cut to every clip of Bane “Talking” in “The Dark Knight Rises” before cutting to James in his office.) ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! (Cut to clips of Bane in mid fight with Batman while James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Okay, first off Bane is from South America. WHY DOES HE SOUND LIKE SEAN CONNERY’S AUDITION FOR DARTH VADER?! HE SHOULD SOUND LIKE DANNY TREJO WHEN HE’S OUT FOR FREAKING BLOOD! SECONDLY WHAT IS UP WITH THE DESIGN OF THE MASK?! THE DESIGN OF THE MASK IS MEANT TO EVOKE THE LOOK OF A LUCHADOR! THE MASK IN IN THIS MOVIE EVOKES MORE OF A GUY WHO GOT A DUST RESPIRATOR STUCK ON HIM WITH SUPER GLUE AND HE DECIDED TO LEAVE IT ON BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT LOOKED COOL!  JOEL SCHUMACHER'S "BATMAN & ROBIN" ACTUALLY GOT BANE RIGHT IN IT'S DESIGN! (Cut to James sitting on the couch in the main lobby)

C.N. Bane (Audio only): Actually…

TLOTA: ORAC, Delta Level Defense! (James renders C.N. Bane unconscious again) Thank you! While yes, there is an explanation for it but I would rather buy the fact that Donald Trump will be the Republican candidate in this year’s election than Bane’s Explanation as to why he wears that mask! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Meanwhile we discover that it has been EIGHT years since the events of the finale of “The Dark Knight” and Gotham city has been able to keep the city under control, Bruce Wayne and his alter-ego Batman played by Christian Bale haven’t been seen since then and the mayor is planning on axing Commissioner Gordon played by Gary Oldham because things have been so peaceful. Meanwhile a burglar named Selina Kyle played by Anne Hathaway sneaks into Wayne Manor as a member of the help as she is able not only to get a perfect set of Bruce Wayne’s fingerprints and his mother’s pearls possibly from the night his parents were killed and leave the now hobbled Bruce Wayne wondering what he’s going up against. (Show clip of Selina Kyle jumping out of Wayne Manor’s window and cutting to James on the couch as Selina Kyle being played by Eliza Dushku landing next to James)

TLOTA: Hello!

Selina Kyle: Hello!

TLOTA: ORAC! Delta Level Defense! (James pulls out a sonic screwdriver and knocks out Selina Kyle)

C.N. Batman (Audio only): Why did…?

TLOTA: You know what I need now right, ORAC?

ORAC: Correct. (James pulls out a sonic screwdriver and knocks out C.N. Batman before Cutting to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): In the meanwhile, Alfred played once again by Michael Caine tries to tell Bruce that it’s time to let go of Batman and for that matter Alfred wishes Bruce never returned to Gotham. As a matter of fact, we see what Alfred did on his holiday in the seven years while Bruce left on his journey! (Show clip of Alfred on holiday as he narrates and his complaining about how Batman should never have been before cutting to James on the couch.)

TLOTA: So you would’ve rather seen Bruce’s Parent’s Company go public and become a weapons manufacturer, Rachel Dawes continue to fight an uphill battle without hope and Jim Gordon eventually leave the force because 95% of Gotham City’s Police Department is on the take than have Bruce Wayne come back to try to save Gotham? ARE YOU GETTING SENILE IN YOUR ADVANCED AGE OR ARE YOU AN IDIOT?! As a matter of fact, what would’ve happened if she was in this one and what would she have been like in this one since she did nothing but give Bruce grief in the last one. (Cut to Rachel Dawes being played by Traci Hines and C.N. Bruce Wayne played by Paulo Fonseca in Wayne Manor as Rachel gives Bruce grief about Harvey while Bruce Wayne Hobbles to the Piano that leads to the Bat-Cave.)

Rachel Dawes: And I Still can’t believe you did that? What the hell is wrong with you? You were Gotham’s Dark Knight and yet when Harvey was killed you took the blame for everything?! WHY? I would’ve defended you! BUT NO! YOU HAVE TO BE THE MARTYR! YOU HAVE TO BE THE ONE EVERYONE CRUCIFIES! YOU HAVE TO BE THE HERO WHO PLAYS THE VILLIAN! YOU’RE NOTHING MORE THAN A STUCK UP, SELF RIGHTEOUS, EGOTISTICAL PILE OF BAT-GARBAGE! (C.N. Bruce Wayne plays the notes to the entrance to the Bat-Cave.) DON’T YOU HIDE IN THAT CAVE OF YOURS, I AM GIVING YOU THE SMACK UPSIDE YOUR EGOTISTICAL HEAD NEEDS BAT-ASSHOLE! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): But we have someone who believes in Batman being a hero. John Blake played by one of the coolest people you’ll ever be around Joseph Gordon-Levitt he’s a cop wondering about the truth about what happened eight years ago. Meanwhile Selina gives Bruce’s fingerprints to a man close to a businessman named John Daggett for a scheme to takeover Wayne Enterprises which hasn’t made any profit since Bruce put the kibosh on an idea of some sort of fusion device. Meanwhile on some sort of drill or something like that Commissioner Gordon finds himself captured and nearly killed by Bane who takes some sort of speech Commissioner Gordon had and when John Blake finds the nearly dead Commissioner, he goes to Bruce Wayne to let Bruce Wayne know that about Commissioner Gordon and that John knows Bruce is Batman and couldn’t give a flying bat as to why he’s martyred his other self but afterwards he visits Commissioner Gordon and decides to reclaim the Batman and become Gotham’s Dark Knight once again. Meanwhile Bruce Wayne goes to Wayne Enterprises as Lucius Fox played by Morgan Freeman to wonder why his company has kind of slowed down making money and give Bruce his new ride a pilotable drone Lucius calls “The Bat”.

Lucius Fox: And yes, it comes in Black! (Cut to James)

TLOTA: Show of hands who saw that coming? (Everyone in team TLOTA raising their hands and shouting “YO!”) Thought so. (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): After Robo-brace Deus Ex Machina replaces his injuries Bruce is ready to be the Batman once more and in the nick of time as Bane has gone to the Stock Market to cause more chaos and spout more political ideological crap that seems to be in all of Christopher Nolan’s movies as the police chase after Bane, Batman arrives and instead of continuing the chase with Bane Gotham’s finest bar Commissioner Gordon and in this movie John Blake being the rocket scientists they are decide going after Batman instead of the criminal they SHOULD be chasing is a smarter move! (Cut to James pointing to his head!)

TLOTA: That’s the way to use your kidneys! UGH! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): After finding a device Bane was using Batman & Catwoman meet as she’s about to eighty-six John Daggett and the two fight off goons which Bane leads but he and Catwoman disappears.

Batman: Huh, so that's what that feels like... (Cut to James Physically)

TLOTA: And before these schmucks wake up, I’m going to take a break, lock them all into one place before they wake up and hit me with more of Christopher Nolan’s Political ideological bat-crap!

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play as the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it act as the commercial break intro and return to the movie while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voiceover): After returning home Bruce asks Alfred to help him get something to Lucius when from out of nowhere Alfred decides to tell Bruce about Rachel’s letter and says maybe it’s time for the Truth to come out about Harvey. Bruce handles it by firing Alfred. The next day Lucius Fox tells Bruce bad news. He’s broke! That’s right, apparently Bane fraudulently made Stock Options on something that went south and cost Bruce every red cent he has. To protect his company from John Daggett’s He takes and gives control to Miranda Tate played by Marion Cotillard who also helped come up with the fusion device Deus Ex Machina and what do Miranda and Bruce do to celebrate their victory over Daggett’s failed attempt? Hooking up while Bane gives John Daggett a neck full of death! After leaving Miranda at Wayne Manor, Batman goes to meet Catwoman who leads Batman to Bane who much like the comic book persona he is supposed to be more like Batman is beaten then broken. But instead of killing Bruce Wayne for some reason, Bane lets him live and drops him off in a prison half way around the world just so Bruce can watch Gotham City be destroyed! (Cut to James having just tossed a person into his office and he points to his head.)

TLOTA: Real Rocket Skyentist move there, Bane! You REEEEEALY know how to use the kidneys!

Paulo Fonseca (Audio only): That the last one?

TLOTA: Yep (Rebecca Yaun walks on screen.)

Rebecca Yaun: Just why did Batman, Bane & Catwoman come here?

TLOTA: Oh to explain why their Ideological political garbage is the reason people should believe Christopher Nolan’s movies and more specifically how he infused his ideological political garbage into Batman and how it supposedly “Made Comic Book movies more real” when in fact when you infuse topical current events you read in the news it doesn’t make it relevant, it dates it. I mean think about it. (Show clips of “Batman Begins”, “The Dark Knight” and Marvel Cinematic Universe Phases one & two while James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): When Christopher Nolan worked on “Batman Begins” we weren’t on the verge of a collapse we had begun to rebuild after being attacked but by the time “The Dark Knight” hit theaters we were unsure what to do and even though we had begun to stabilize, we had elements of chaos that could’ve destroyed us but we said to ourselves, “We’ve faced bad before and the worse is going to come and we will take it on face first, so let’s not be afraid of what might be and take on what is and what will happen, we’ll take it on then.” But in between the time “The Dark Knight” & “The Dark Knight Rises” Marvel Comics and its Cinematic Universe showed you can be topical and serious and you can be funny at the same time and you don’t have to be glowering in darkness to make a point! So when “Marvel’s The Avengers” hit the big screen we had gone through ups and downs and we were ready to enjoy watching good guys drop bad guys without having Christopher Nolan’s politically ideological garbage forced down our throats! (Cut to James talking to everyone else.)

TLOTA: I think that’s why everyone was so polarized by “Man Of Steel” it was trying to mix what had worked before with their “Christopher Nolan Batman” Movies & What Marvel was doing. But I liked it because it was a fresh take on Superman not because of what the hell every one with a political agenda had to say.

Miranda Tate (Off-Screen & played by Rebecca Yaun): So I am guessing you won’t like what I do in this movie. (Camera pans over to show Miranda Tate played by Rebecca Yaun)

TLOTA (Voice only): Oh for the love of PEAT MOSS! ORAC! (James and everyone save for Traci Hines and Eliza Dushku pull out a sonic screwdriver.) One second. Eliza, Traci search my front right pocket and you’ll find personalized sonic screwdrivers in there. After the first use, you’ll feel a slight pinch, that’s okay it’s locking on to your isometric DNA meaning only you will be able to use it and should anyone who is not you tries to use it will receive a 1.21 gigawatt charge. Uh Eliza, that’s not a Sonic Screwdriver!

Eliza Dushku: Sorry! I guess everyone is right, big things do come in small packages. (Everyone points their Sonic Screwdriver at Miranda Tate as James looks confusedly at Eliza Dushku before shaking the thought out of his head.)

TLOTA: Uh right, Delta Level Defense. (Everyone knocks out Miranda Tate.)

Renee Miller: Now what?

TLOTA: You guys pile her in while I work on the review. (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Meanwhile John Blake discovers construction crews mixing concrete with an explosive chemical but he blows it, Pun intended, as Bane blows up the bridges, kills the mayor and most of both of the football  teams and the field but at least Hines Ward survived, traps off 95% of the police and declares Martial Law on Gotham and kills off the only scientist to turn off the fusion device which has now become a bomb! All while Bruce Wayne is left to try to get back on his feet, while recovering from a blind chiropractor’s attempt to rebuild his back Ra’s Al Ghoul, and for those wondering I pronounce it Rache Al Ghoul, played by Liam Neeson who I’m certain is being paid by the noun and verb lets Bruce know he won’t escape in time to stop Bane's plan. Meanwhile Bane stands outside a prison and wait… (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: Wait, wait, wait! Let me guess he says the speech Commissioner Gordon had been wanting to say for years and he gives a speech that is full of political ideological garbage! (Cut to a still image of Bane outside of Blackgate prison and the audio of the people from the Town of Rock Ridge shouts “YOU BET YOUR ASS!” from “Blazing Saddles” is heard before cutting to James singing the “Skip It” part of the toy's advertisement jingle before cutting to sped up footage of Bane’s Speech before cutting to the underground prison and James doing a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): After being able to walk again you know after having his back being broken like an egg, Bruce decides to try climb out of that bat hell hole and after failed attempt after failed attempt after failed attempted he finally takes a half step he decided not to take in attempts before and THEN he gets out but he needs all the help he can get to save Gotham including… (Show clip of Selina Kyle being recruited to help save Gotham before cutting to James shake in anger before calming down but still somewhat visibly angered)

TLOTA: I'm not gonna blow my top. But this classic MST3K Clip says it all!(Cut to the clip of Tom Servo screaming in their riffing of the movie "Mitchell" before cutting to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): WHY IN THE BLUE BLAZES OF HELL AND DAMNATION IS HE TRUSTING THE PERSON WHO SOLD HIM DOWN THE RIVER TO BANE JUST TO SAVE HER CAT-BACKSIDE?! IS HE REALLY THAT FREAKING STUPID OR IS THE MOVIE NOT EVEN TRYING TO MASK HOW BIG A MORON HE IS?! ARGH! At this point, Commissioner Gordon and several officers who have been in hiding is discovered by Bane and brought to be punished by Dr. Johnathan Crane A.K.A. The Scarecrow played by Cillian Murphy who by this point is just there because he needs an extra payday because let's face it he was useless throughout the entire trilogy and was just there.The Scarecrow sentences them to die by falling over thin ice when surprise! surprise! Batman is back, he has a “Plan” and I put the word “Plan” in quotation marks because it’s not really a plan more or less Bruce Wayne just flying by the seat of his Pants by his bat farts and has no real thought out idea on how to do things intellectually even though Batman & Bruce Wayne are supposedly smart enough to outsmart the villain but whatever Batman enlists John Blake to get people out of Gotham and he gets a lot of the police out of being captive and he allows Selina Kyle to use his bat-pod to blow open a hole wide enough to get the rest of the police out of the tunnels under Gotham and with the last 12 hours before Gotham is turned into a smoldering crater an epic brawl ensues and guess who fight again?! That’s right, Batman and Bane duke it out and as Batman ACCIDENTALLY hits a nodule to his mask that keeps Bane going. Taking advantage of Bane’s disadvantage in order to stop the bomb and the triggerman Bane said was amongst the citizens of Gotham in a twist that even M. Night Shaymalan would consider lame the one Batman trusted the most in this movie, the one person he gave control of his company to turns out to be the leader of this whole operation. Miranda Tate AKA Talia Al Ghoul! (Cut to an image of M. Night Shaymalan and an animated mouth saying “UH No! Even I know that's lame!” voiced by John Ross Santos before cutting to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): After Talia tells Batman that Bane was her protector in that prison Bruce was imprisoned in for six months Talia presses the button and nothing happened, Why? Because Batman gave Commissioner Gordon a Deus Ex Machina that scrambles the frequency of the trigger and then THANKFULLY after listening to what feels like a Bat-Eternity of Bane’s Politically charged Ideological garbage Selina Kyle hits Bane with a hundred millimeter round out of the Bat-Pod demolishing Bane once and for all. But wait the Bomb is still in play and The remaining few thugs loyal to Talia and Talia herself are planning to blow Gotham off the map because according to Talia it’s what her father would’ve wanted. (Audio of James groaning over the movie as it cuts to James continuing to groan physically.)

TLOTA: So you mean to tell me YEARS after Gotham had been saved by Batman from Ra’s Al Ghoul’s first plan to destroy it. Talia, Ra’s’ daughter plans on just leveling Gotham because it was what her dad wanted? NO! YOU CANNOT RECYCLE PLOT IDEAS FROM YOUR OWN PAST MOVIES THAT DIDN’T WORK THEN TRY TO DO THE SAME THING AGAIN AND HOPE THAT IT WORKS A SECOND TIME BECAUSE IF IT DIDN’T WORK THE FIRST TIME AND EVERYONE SAID IT DIDN’T WORK AND YOU TRY YEARS LATER AND PEOPLE SAID IT DIDN’T WORK THE FIRST TIME SO WHY DID HE DO THIS AGAIN, THE GUY IS A HACK! THE GUY IS WORSE THAN MICHAEL BAY!

C.N. Batman (Audio only): CHRISTOPHER NOLAN IS A GENIUS!

TLOTA: I’m turning around now, unless it’s Paulo playing a trick, I’m going to be inundated with Political Ideological garbage from... Of Course. (James turns his head to the right before turning towards the audience before C.N. Batman punches James in his face and James falls on his backside spitting out blood.)

TLOTA: How did you get out?

C.N. Batman: I’M BATMAN!

TLOTA: Where’s my team? (Cut to an image of everyone on Team TLOTA trapped in James’ business office.)

Eliza Dushku: So anyone got their sonic screwdriver? (Everyone else whistles while Eliza Dushku curses in Albanian and pulls out her Sonic Screwdriver before cutting to the movie while James doing a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): So as you can guess Batman and Catwoman fight off all of Talia’s henchmen as they “attempt” to stop her and get the fusion bomb device and and when I say attempt I mean stop the smaller forces, kill Talia and Batman decides to take the bomb as far as he could in his hover flyer before it blows up taking out Gotham and drives it into the middle of the water but close enough to Gotham so he could see it but far enough to not have the bomb affect Gotham and so Batman dies the way he wanted to a Pariah that in the end was actually the hero. (Cut to James & Christopher Nolan’s Batman physically in mid battle.)

TLOTA: I’d say something witty but I’m kind of in the middle of something!

C.N. Batman: I WILL STOP YOU AND YOUR HUMOR! (Batman attempts to roundhouse kick James but he rolls under Batman’s leg.)

TLOTA: Seriously, being too serious isn’t working in your favor!

C.N. Batman: AND BEING SILLY AND SHOWING WHO I AM IN THE LIGHT IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE CRIMINALS FEAR ME?! BEING DARK AND BROODING IN THE SHADOWS IS WHAT MAKES SOMEONE A TRUE HERO UNTIL EVERYDAY PEOPLE CAN LOOK TO THEMSELVES AND SAY THAT EVERYTHING IS AS RIGHT AS IT SHOULD BE, NO LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, NO FORGIVENESS IN THE DARKNESS BECAUSE I AM IN THAT DARKNESS, I AM THE ONE WHO WILL SCARE THE LIGHT AWAY, I AM BATMAN!!!!!!

Team TLOTA (synchronized & off-screen): OH SHUT UP! (Camera pans over to Team TLOTA.)

Eliza Dushku: Every little rant about James being funny makes you one wicked stupid Batman! FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS BAT FOR BRAINS! (Cut to the ending while everyone on team TLOTA does a voiceover)

Eliza Dushku (Voiceover): Even with the heartfelt reading from “A Tale of Two Cities” Commissioner Gordon says at Bruce Wayne’s “Funeral”.

Traci Hines (Voiceover): Even with Alfred feeling sorry for himself for failing Bruce’s parents for protecting their son.

Renee Miller (Voiceover): Even with John Blake…Oh I’m sorry ROBIN John Blake quitting the force and being given the external directions to the Bat-Cave in order to pick up where Bruce left off.

Rebecca Yaun (Voiceover): Even with Commissioner Gordon having commissioned a Statue to pay tribute to the Batman and by a miracle receiving a sign that although the first Batman “died” Batman will live on.

Paulo Fonseca (Voiceover): Even with Wayne Manor becoming a home for at risk youth.

John Ross Santos (Voiceover): Even by some miracle Bruce Wayne was able to come up with a software patch to “The Bat” in order to fake his death.

Mike Santos (Voiceover): Even with Alfred discovering sometime down the road that Bruce survived his brush with death…

Eric Kurtzke (Voiceover): And somehow him and Selina Kyle hooking up. The facts are simple when it comes to this movie. (Cut to Everyone at team TLOTA including James on one side and C.N. Batman on the other.)

C.N. Batman: This movie the greatest Batman movie ever!?

TLOTA: Uh No, On three everyone. One, Two, Three!

TLOTA & Team TLOTA (Unified): THIS MOVIE IS THE WORST BATMAN MOVIE EVER! (Cut to clips of “The Dark Knight Rises” as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): The acting is decent at best. But as for the rest of it let's fact is you missed the mark. The Story is overly political and lame to boot and with the exception of Gary Oldham as Commissioner Gordon & Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Blake everyone else is either too over the top even by "Batman & Robin" Standards or they downplay what could've been great performances, Even  old school Batman actors like Adam West, Michael Keaton. Val Kilmer & Kevin Conroy admit Christian Bale never really got Batman. Yes, Batman is dark but the way it’s shown here it’s like he never wants to see the light of day ever again. When in contrast to other performers, Christian Bale just seemed like he never got to get room to breathe his own breath into Batman and became a mouthpiece to Christopher Nolan’s political and social ideology and the movies just seemed to focus on that and that weakens Batman and the characters around him. The Story falls flat on its own backside; the acting is good but then there is Tom Hardy’s Bane who sounds and looks ridiculous as he tries to force out Christopher Nolan’s thoughts on the world and if Bennett The Sage hated how much “Batman Returns” was Tim Burton’s viewpoint on the world this movie is how much Christopher Nolan wants the world to be and if he wants it that way, well then I want off this rock! (Cut to Everyone at team TLOTA including James on one side and C.N. Batman on the other.)

TLOTA: And if my back was against the wall, Yes, I’d rather watch “Man Of Steel” than your overly political, overly ideological, overly stupid pile of Bat-Crap! Why? Because it showed how much respect Zack Snyder had for Superman, is it perfect? No but at least Zack Snyder kind of held Christopher Nolan at Bay long enough for him to give Superman a personality before getting into the political and social ideological agenda.

Christopher Nolan (played by Nick Yaun Audio only): Which is why I made Zod sound the way he did! (Camera zooms to the front door to see Christopher Nolan played by Nick Yaun)

Christopher Nolan: I always need a politically charged rivals because that is what drives the world, Politics. It is what made Batman and what will keep me atop the a-list of movie makers until I am seen as a filmmaking legend. Because I am the man who saved Batman and I am the man who will keep making movies the way I want and people will continue to see it. (Cut to James and Team TLOTA)

TLOTA: NO! Everything you’ve said through Batman & your characters in this “Dark Knight Trilogy” is wrong and Bass ackwards! (Cut to clips of Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): By making movies that remain politically charged you find yourself pigeonholing your scope and range. By repeating the same tropes, you make people find more flaws in what you make. By keeping yourself in the mind frame that you’re infallible even though your returns aren’t what they used to be, you find less people wanting to see or look at your work. It’s by changing with the times and adapting your views to those changes that keeps you from finding yourself from wondering when everyone left you. Does that mean you have to change your vision of things you’ve done in the past to adapt them to the present and Future times? Not really. But sticking to your guns for too long eventually will cause you to win battles and lose wars. (Cut to James and Team TLOTA physically)

TLOTA: So it’s simple, you die with a “Batman & Robin” or you live long enough to become a worse joke than that. (Cut to Christopher Nolan chuckling.)

Christopher Nolan: You get it! You actually get it! You get my views on the world. (Cut to James and Team TLOTA)

TLOTA: No, what I got is that you think that everything you say now will have depth fifty years down the line. They won’t! I could make references to my past in my present and future reviews in every last one. I could make a nod to “The Wicked” or Caliverti or hell talk about Lea Michele or even something like some past relationship I hope happened but never came to fruition but I don’t. I live in the present and focus on making a better future for not only myself but for my nieces and all of my family. It’s the changes I hope will come that make me believe in Superman. But even he has limits so when I need someone who can be the lone knight that will make heroes stand up and keep them honest. I know who that one is. It’s Batman! NOT Christopher Nolan’s Batman!

(Cut to C.N. Batman & Christopher Nolan getting ready to attack)

C.N. Bane (Off-Screen): Stop! (Cut to every other Christopher Nolan Batman character.)

C.N. Bane: Whilst we were incarcerated we checked out what James was talking about and sad to say he is right. We have become worse jokes than what Joel Schumacher has done. Perhaps it is time that we need to be seen from a different perspective.

C.N. Selina Kyle: He’s right, a lot of people look and see us and laugh as if we were meant to parody everything Batman has become.

(Cut to C.N. Batman & Christopher Nolan)

Christopher Nolan: Do all of you believe that? (Cut to James and team TLOTA nodding up & down before cutting to C.N. Batman & Christopher Nolan)

Christopher Nolan: Perhaps maybe I should let Zack Snyder have more say and give David Goyer less. Will that satisfy you? (Cut to James and team TLOTA)

TLOTA: As long as “Superman vs Batman Dawn Of Justice” isn’t going to be as bad as everyone hopes it will be. I will be fair about it. (Cut to C.N. Batman & Christopher Nolan)

Christopher Nolan: I hope you do enjoy it. (James & Christopher Nolan shake hands)

TLOTA: Shall I escort you and your associates out the door.

Christopher Nolan: Thank you.

(Everyone walks outside of James’ office as a signal of the American Flag rises into the sky as The Finale from the 1989 Batman Movie plays in the background.)

Christopher Nolan: What is that?

TLOTA: My signal! Someone out there needs my thoughts and my opinions on everything out there. You guys ready to do your part? (Everyone at team TLOTA nod their head to say yes before cutting to James at the entrance.)

TLOTA: Well, then, It’s time to get to work. (Cut to James and Team TLOTA emerging from the shadows and pulling out Megaforce Morphers and inserting their own cards with their own stats done by Stevie Swiggart and Powering up into a battle ready form as they walk on the rooftop of James’ office building as the wind blows in their faces as camera rises over the team to see the American Flag and James’ signal in the sky.)