"School" Daze

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James in his office physically but having a look in his face that he's been up for days)

TLOTA (Stammering / Speed talking):
I-I-I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The A-A-Americans, a-a-a-and the views I'm about to express are that of my own & some of yours. And I have been a little busy between this and College. So I've been awake for a while, but I'm fine! I'm fine, I've been trying to get a lot done, so I've drunk some Tea mixed with D-D-D-Dark Chocolate Syrup & energy drinks, eaten some Chocolate Covered E-E-E-Espresso Beans, M&Ms, Listening to some Nitzer Ebb and Classic Super Thrash Metal, and I'm fine everyone, I'm fine! So let's get to the review! (Cut to the Opening Credits of "Back To School." Cut to clips of the movie as "Back To School" by Jude Cole plays in the foreground as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
How has this movie fallen into obscurity? It has Rodney Dangerfield, one of the funniest AND most respected comedians and comic actors of all time, Sally Kellerman aka "Hot Lips" from the movie version of "M*A*S*H," Terry Farrell aka Jadzia Dax from "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine," Burt "Paulie" Young, William Zabka just fresh out of "The Karate Kid," Arnie Cunningham from "Christine," AND A VERY VERY young Robert Downey Jr. Why has it fallen into such obscure lore, does it deserve not to be treated with the respect it deserves? (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA (Speed talking):
Let's not waste a microsecond we're going "Back To School"(Cut to clips of "Back To School" as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA:
The movie begins in old New York City as we see a tailor's son with shallow grades in school played by Jason Hervey as his father scolds him for his failing grades and reminds him he is a Meloni. For the record, I am NOT making the obvious references to Christopher Meloni, "Law & Order: SVU" or "Law & Order: Organized Crime." Instead, as the credits roll, we see how the young boy becomes a self-made millionaire by changing his name to Thornton Melon and how he made his money by making clothes for the heavier sect. We also see he has a good friend in his limo driver, played by Burt Young, and a loving son, played by Keith Gordon, who happens to be in College and is quietly struggling with both his father's success and college as he's bullied by William Zabka. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA (Speed talking):
For the love of peat moss, did the guy ever play the decent guy in anything, and feel free to make your own "Karate Kid" or "COBRA KAI" joke, I got nothing. (Cut to clips of "Back To School" as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA(V.O.):
We then see Thornton at home as his second wife, played by Adrienne Barbeau, constantly gives the poor schlub Tsouris for being himself. However, Thornton and his second wife decided to put a bullet through the marriage at a party. Feeling like he just dropped a few hundred pounds of grief and the wedge between him and his son. He decides to pack up and surprise his son at college. (Show clip of Thornton looking for his son as he comes upon a naked college girl, apologizes for looking at her, and then says, "You're Perfect!" Cut to James Physically)

TLOTA (Speed talking):
So Let's see how far up on the "SVU" meter Thornton is on. ( James turns to his left as a meter appears, and the photos of the heads of the cast of "Law & Order: SVU" are at the top of the meter as Bells, Whistles, Alarms, horns, and all sorts of noises are heard as the photos of the heads of the cast of "Law & Order: SVU" grow in size until they explode and James falls. James lays there short of breath until he finally relaxes.)

TLOTA:
I'm okay. That was all I needed to relax my mind. Whew! It must have been up for a while. 

ORAC (Audio only):
You have been awake for three weeks. 

TLOTA:
WOW! Am I in the middle of something?

ORAC (Audio only):
A review of the Rodney Dangerfield movie "Back To School."

TLOTA:
Okay, where am I?

ORAC (Audio only):
Past a moment in which the cast of "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" would've gone through the roof to put Thornton Melon in Prison. (James motions the sign as to say, "Let's move on." Cut to clips of "Back To School" as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Meanwhile, we find Jason pining over a girl at his college named Valerie, played by Terry Farrell, as he consults his anarchistic friend Derek Lutz played by Robert Downey Jr. (Show "Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing" clip from "Iron Man." Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Actually, this is one of your earliest best, in my opinion, Robert Downey Jr. (Show Robert Downey Jr talking about how the whole system was meant not to work for them then the rest of the clips of the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA(V.O.):
Jason and Derek are introduced to Thornton and his limo driving friend. As father and son talk, Thornton realizes that the value of education by deciding not only will he go back to school to help his son but also himself and, to this movie's credit, now going to College after a long hiatus, I can't help but feel Thornton's message that it's never too late to get a better education, but it's also better earlier in life. Thornton wants to go to the same college his son is attending to gets to the Dean, played by the late Ned Beatty. However, because Thornton is sans a GED, High School Diploma, or SAT score, there is a question about how he can get in. The answer? Simple, he donates to the college, thus buying his way into college. A few days later, at Registration, Valerie and Jason meet face to face. Jason and Derek allowing Valerie to join them in line. Zabka tries to cut in, but Derek hits him with a burn that would send Peter Highman into the stratosphere. Returning to their dorm room having been redesigned, Thornton comes to understand that his first-class is in economics, and the Professor of the course played by Paxton Whitehead has painted the biggest bulls' eye on Thornton because of his lower-class standings. The next class for Thornton is American History as the professor there is played by all people SAM FRIGGIN' KINISON! LET'S GO! (Show clip of Professor Terguson as he teaches his course. Cut to James as he pops up behind his desk)

TLOTA:
I'm not going back to his course without a tranquilizer powerful enough to knock a herd of Rhinos! (Cut to clips of "Back To School" as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
After his first day, Thornton's Economics Professor and English Professor, played by Sally Kellerman, discuss Thornton. (Show clip of Professor Barbay as he talks about having her dress up as Wonder Woman, tying him up with a golden lariat, and force him to tell the truth. Cut to James as he looks disturbed and turns to his left as a meter appears. The photos of the heads of the cast of "Law & Order: SVU" are at the top of the meter as Bells, Whistles, Alarms, horns, and all sorts of noises are heard as the photos of the heads of the cast of "Law & Order: SVU" grow in size until they explode again. Cut back to the movie as James continues his voiceover.) So after that bit of "MAMA NO!". Thornton quickly becomes the man of the campus. Just as Jason preps for training to get into the dive team, which he gets from his dad, a diver. Thornton and the coach, played by M. Emmett Walsh, talk about diving, convincing the coach to give Jason a second chance. Later on, while studying, Jason meets with Valerie as Thornton decides to have some fun with his fellow College members. A riot is unleashed at an on-campus bar Thornton is hanging out at all because of good ol' RDJ and his anti-authoritarian views about the campus. As the semester continues, Thornton focuses on the fun aspects and has his business associates help. Even getting, NO, JOKE KURT VONNEGUT TO HELP WITH THE HOMEWORK while having to help in a science experiment with Monkeys, Thornton decides to get his entire staff to help with his work! Eventually leading to the inevitable for Jason and everyone. At a meet, Zabka sabotages Jason's dive, and Thornton tries to get his son to relax by throwing a party in which Thornton's antics cause his English Professor to lose respect for Thornton. Jason is upset that he may not have gotten in on his own way and had enough of his dad. Then Thornton winds up in academic trouble, which sends the Professor who has given Buffalo Bill competition as for how creepy he is has had it for Thornton Melon and decides to go for the throat forcing Thornton to perform an oral examination. If Thornton passes, he's still in school, he fails, he's out for good. Meanwhile, Lou tells Jason to give his dad some slack and help him out. Thornton decides to hit the road until Jason, Derek, Lou, and his English Professor decide to help in a Studying Montage. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And I got to admit that I can relate to Thornton's dilemma, hence how crazy I was in the introduction of this review. (Cut to clips of "Back To School" as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
The day of Thornton's Oral examination has arrived, as has the day of the biggest Swim Meet of the season. As Thornton's Oral Examination begins, we should have someone who is relatively decent, intelligent...OR WE ALLOW PROFESSOR KINKY TO START THINGS, AND SOMETHING TELLS ME HE'S GONNA MAKE BOTH THORNTON AND CHRISTIAN GREY TOSS THEIR COLLECTIVE COOKIES! (Shudders) Meanwhile, Jason talks to Valerie once again, this time in a better mind frame than the one he had last time, which was Jason was at his lowest, and this time Valerie and Jason profess their love for one another as Thornton thwarts Professor Kinky. After that, Derek Lutz finally shows some School Spirit by causing the opposing team to flop on their dives. Meanwhile, Zabka tries to knock Jason down, but Jason tells Zabka to take a flop, which he does. Back at the Oral Examination, the English Professor helps give Thornton his second wind and makes it to see his son nail his dive with perfection. Zabka pusses out which makes the coach come up with a creative solution, leading to one of the most infamous scenes in cinema! (Show Thornton Melon's "Triple Lindy" dive.) Yep, the Triple Lindy, and to be fair, this scene, while not edited really well, really did show how awesome a dive like that could be, even though it would have caused any diver to have called a career as a diver. I will give the moment a pass and say, "Yeah, that was cool". Thornton's dive gives the Dive Team the win. Thornton passes thanks to the English Professor giving him an A while the rest gave him D's, and the movie ends with Thornton giving the Commencement speech. (Show clip of Thornton Melon giving the Commencement Speech.) Pretty accurate given certain things nowadays. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
So that was "Back To School," and it holds up and deserves respect(Cut to clips of "Back To School" as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Let me say the following, this movie is not high art in any way, shape, or form. But it is as entertaining as all get out. When I was young I enjoyed it for the crude humor and Rodney's Thorton Melon. Now that I'm closer to Rodney's age I can say I can relate to the story of Thornton more of someone trying to get an education later on in life. The acting was awesome, even Robert Downey Jr was showing some of the greatness he was bound to have when he became Iron Man. If you haven't seen it then do yourself a favor and check it out. You deserve to show it the respect both Rodney and this movie deserve. (Cut to James physically.)

TLOTA:
Well, that's it for September. Next month...Next month is October, which means one thing! (James pulls out his Morpher and shifts to his Halloween mode.) It's Halloween season! But what to do? (Static cuts the feed for two seconds as Phelous is in his reviewing room.)

Phelous:
OH, JAAAMES! (Cut to James)

Phelous:
Didn't forget about what you said was a present for me for my wedding when it happened. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Nope, I am doing my Top 13 favorite episodes of "The Real Ghostbusters" (Cut to Phelous)

Phelous:
Okay, But I set the rules! One) You have to limit yourself to the episodes that were in the Syndicated market, meaning NONE of the ABC/Q5 Episodes, Two) Spoilers will be at your discretion! Three) Mentioning me will make sure you will have better views, even if you have to brand your forehead with my awesomeness! Four) If you talk about the movies in conjunction with the episode then make sure it is the right connection to... (Cut to James as Phelous continues to ramble about the animated series, "Ghostbusters" (1984), "Ghostbusters II" and the upcoming "Ghostbusters: Aftermath" as James pulls out a sign saying "Top 13 "The Real Ghostbusters" Episodes. This is James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and this is his opinion!" as Phelous says "The Bill Murry/Lorenzo Music connection" as it fades to black. The Audio of Phelous saying "HEY! I'll give him the rest of the rules on a Message!")

A Short "Mortal" event

(Scene starts with a laser beam in the sky as the music of the 1994 American Gladiators opening theme plays the angle of the camera goes into the laser as three shadowed figures with a lasered outlines appear as the shadows reveal themselves to be James Faraci in the center, Paulo Fonseca on the right and Rebecca Yaun on the left as their names appear above the characters. As the three-run out of frame moving towards the camera, four more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear, and the shadows reveal themselves as Brenda Fonseca on the right, Nick Yaun on the left, and John and Mike Santos and their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving forward moving towards the camera, five more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as they reveal themselves to be Renee Miller and Eric Kurtzke on the right, Andrew Beach and Ed Champion on the left, and Olivia Horvath appears in the center as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame credits of “Written and directed by James Faraci, edited by Eric Kurtzke, Makeup by Olivia Horvath Produced by First Choice Productions” as it ends, the Laser beam disappears, and at the 0:28 mark of the theme song, the laser beam cut out the words “The” “Last” “Of” “The” appear. At the 0:32-0:36 mark, the word “Americans” start to come forward as it pulls down, and James’ Morpher and Sonic Screwdriver is flung into the frame as James grabs both and morphs into The Last Of The Americans with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans.” Fade cut to James and Team TLOTA wearing Martial Arts Gis huddled up.)

TLOTA:
Okay, on my silent signal, Rebecca, Brenda, Olivia, and Renee, you guys go on the left, Chad, you take the center with me, Paulo & Nick. John & Mike, Andrew, Ed, Eric attack from the right. Break. (Everyone breaks the huddle.) Okay, Alex, are you ready? (The camera turns to Julia Alexa Miller)

Julia Alexa Miller:
Why are we doing this again? (Scene cuts between James and Julia Alexa Miller)

TLOTA:
You and I decided for our date night to watch the 2021 Mortal Kombat movie and saw a mark that Emmalina’s spirit gave you on your right hip…

Julia Alexa Miller:
Which reminded you of the mark on the champions from the movie…

TLOTA:
Which got me thinking maybe I could somehow activate the same inner spiritual energy by training our bodies to do so. So is everyone ready? (Cut to Rebecca, Brenda, Olivia, and Renee as they nod silently. Cut to John & Mike, Andrew, Ed, Eric as they nod silently. Cut to Paulo, Nick, and Chad as they nod, with Chad gulping in fear. James raises his right hand. Olivia and Renee try to come up behind Julia Alexa Miller and are slapped in the midsection knocking them down. Brenda and Rebecca try to kick only to see the strength of Julia Alexa Miller causes them to spin like the Tazmanian Devil and knock each other out. Eric tries to use the Vulcan neck pinch and is flung into Andrew and Ed. John and Mike try to attack with John going low and Mike going high as Julia Alexa Miller flip over both attacks and pushes the two towards the wall behind them. James, Paulo, Nick, and Chad move forward to advance onto Julia Alexa Miller as Chad is used to knock Paulo and Nick senseless, and James gets a minor hit, but it is enough for James to grab the Gem from the Gauntlet and the Ring. Julia Alexa Miller summons her powers, and James gets the powers of the ring and gem from the gauntlet ready to go as an “HAI!” is heard, and a gong is heard as from the door behind the two opens as Steve Kidd dressed as a sensei comes in and takes the gem from the gauntlet and the ring.)

Steve Kidd:
You will get these at the end of today’s class, Now what was the lesson from this. (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
To use what you have inside of you properly and not have to rely on outside powers. (Cut to Steve Kidd)

Steve Kidd:
Well, I was thinking that you need to not rely on what has been given to you but rather what has been inside you. (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller and James as they bow.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
Yes Sensei

TLOTA:
Yes, Steve. (James and Julia Alexa Miller get smacked on the head. Cut to Steve Kidd.)

Steve Kidd:
In this Dojo, you must call me sensei, James, and Alex you never lower your eyes even when you bow to either an opponent or your sensei! DISMISSED! (Cut to everyone as limp out of the studio.)

Paulo Fonseca:
I see today as a bit more successful day, with fewer injuries.

Rebecca Yaun:
Yeah, John and Mike were able to walk out on their own this time. (James carries Chad out as Julia Alexa Miller follows the two.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
There we go, Me and James will take you down to the Medical center and you will be back and ready to go tomorrow. What are you going to do while Chad is in with the doctor?

TLOTA:
Talk about the movie that brought us to the dance

(Cut to the main title screen for “Mortal Kombat” 2021 is shown then clips of “Mortal Kombat” 2021 as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Yep, a movie that fans had been waiting for years to get the R-Rating the 1995 movie should’ve gotten, not to get screwed up, and fans either loved it or hated it but either you thought it killed the original and its sequel with flawless victory or it deserves the fatality of being seen as obscure as some of the games’ worst entries, today I will be taking a look and see if one side is right or the other and I will deliver my thoughts on this one. (Cut to James in the lobby in the medical center)

TLOTA:
Let’s not waste any time, this is MORTAL KOMBAT! The 2021 version. (Everyone yells “SHUSH!” Cut to then clips of “Mortal Kombat” 2021 as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
As the movie begins we’re introduced to Hanzo Hasashi at his familial compound in Japan in 1617 as the son checks on his little sister, we see the mark of a Dragon Arcana on Hanzo when a man goes on a killing spree who enters the compound as he can freeze the air around him. Hanzo tries to make it back home only to see the guards killed, his son and wife murdered, and takes his aggression out on the assassins left to finish the job. He soon finds the man who murdered his family Bi-Han and the two duel it out using Martial Arts. Hanzo is mortally wounded and is taken to the nether realm to be reborn as “Scorpion”. Meanwhile, Lord Raiden played by Tadanobu Asano finds the abandoned baby to raise as his own. We then cut to a text telling us that the earth's realm is on the brink of disaster. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Do ya think?! (Cut to then clips of “Mortal Kombat” 2021 as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
It tells us that should the Outworld realm win, it’s gonna take us over and destroy us all. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Given how bad the past few years have been, I welcome it, I’m not even kidding, I am waiting for those who will destroy those that Darwinism has not done yet! (People yell at James to “SHUT UP!” Cut to then clips of “Mortal Kombat” 2021 as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
It also states that for those from Hanzo Hasashi’s bloodline a new group of champions will emerge! We soon cut to the present day as we’re introduced to Cole Young played by Lewis Tan a Mixed Martial Artist who has a match. In the crowd is Jax played by former Jimmy Olsen, Mehcad Brooks as he watches Cole tap out. Okay if he’s part of the bloodline of Hanzo then we are screwed a hundred ways from Sunday. We soon find ourselves in Outworld as Shang Tsung played by Chin Han tells Bi-Han who now goes by “Sub-Zero” that they must win the tenth tournament. Not leaving anything to chance, Shang Tsung tells Sub-Zero to kill Cole Young which should be easy had Cole and his family not been rescued by Jax who tells them to meet up with Sonya Blade played by Jessica McNamee, and Jax’s reward for protecting Cole? His arms are frozen off.  Cole shows Sonya his birthmark which looks like the one from Hanzo as she interrogates Kano played by Josh Lawson and tells Cole about Mortal Kombat and tells them about how the mark Cole and several others are that from Hanzo and can be transferred to the next in the line of Champions. Everyone is attacked by Reptile and Kano helps Sonya and Cole take out this wrongfully rejected design of The Lizard for “The Amazing Spider-Man”. (Cut to James physically.)

TLOTA:
I’m not even joking if they had used that design for The Lizard in “The Amazing Spider-Man” maybe the movie would’ve been better slightly. (James gets slapped upside the head.) OW! Steve, we’re not in the Dojo. 

Steve Kidd:
Your silence is requested lest everyone riot

(James sighs. Cut to then clips of “Mortal Kombat” 2021 as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Back in Outworld, Mileena played by Sisi Stringer tells Shang Tsung about what has been going on and Shang Tsung is not too happy and yes he admits he broke the rules to get the nine wins. While that’s going on Cole and Sonya try to train as they reach the temple of Raiden where they meet Liu Kang played by former Black Power Ranger Ludi Lin and Kung Lao played by Max Huang.  The four meet up and are brought before Raiden where Jax is as recovering as well having been given his robotic arms. After fending off an attack from Shang Tsung, Jax recovers thanks to Sonya’s help as Liu, Cole, Kano, and Kung train to control their Arcana as Kano fires a laser out of his right eye. (Cut to James and Steve physically)

Steve Kidd:
Wow, now that is someone who can use his Arcana unwisely. Wonder how you would find out about your Arcana 

TLOTA:
Steve I… (James gets smacked and James drags Steve outside as the two smack each other around as it fades to black and a loud boom is felt as it then cuts to the 0:36 Mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme as it shows James fully morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Cut to the 0:36 Mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme as it shows James fully morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Cut to James as he sits in his office with a look of having made the biggest mistake he ever made )

TLOTA:
So, thanks to a disagreement I had with the sensei was enough for me to unlock my Arcana and I have the same abilities Alex has except for the sonic scream and I also have to pay for some repairs that occurred when said moment happen otherwise me and the team will be blacklisted from every medical center in the state of New York so there’s that. (Cut to clips of “Mortal Kombat” 2021 as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Even though Cole has been busting his ass off to activate his Arcana, he fails time and time again until Raiden tells Cole he is a descendent of Hanzo who has been reborn as Scorpion and sends him home. I might as well play the obvious clip. (Cut to Iron Man 3 as Tony Stark gets confused as he shouts “WHY?” to JARVIS. Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
While that happens Nitara played by Mel Jamson is brought in as-is Kabal played physically by Daniel Nelson and voiced by Damon Herriman and the others including General Reiko to once again take on Raiden’s temple. But as Cole continues to be home he is attacked by WHAT IN THE HELL?!  (Cut to James physically.) 

TLOTA:
IS THAT GORO?! NO! When you make the live-action puppet in the 1995 movie look more realistic, you have taken Supercalifragilisticexpialiuberfail to levels unknown. (Cut to then clips of “Mortal Kombat” 2021 as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Meanwhile, Kano betrays Raiden and the others to let Shang Tsung’s forces rush in. Jax activates his Arcana to upgrade his arms. Just at the same time as Cole activates his Arcana giving him a suit of armor and Tonfas destroying Goro, and Sonya is rescued. Sub-Zero attacks Cole now knowing of his heritage as Kung Lao sacrifices himself to make sure the others get away safely from Shang Tsung. Cole now has had enough of Shang Tsung and his antics. He comes up with a plan to force the outworld champions to the tournament that Shang Tsung tried to stop. Agreeing to this Lord Raiden hands Cole a Kunai that belonged to Hanzo and that in battle, The spirit of Hanzo will join Cole to stop Sub-Zero once and for all. Reiko and Jax fight it out as do Kano and Sonya Blade both of them winning and Sonya earning that Dragon Mark and activates her Arcana which so happens to be throwing purple energy blasts. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
That is probably the lamest one of the Arcanas to be activated. But what about Sub-Zero? (Cut to the clip in which Cole says they’ll take him on together. Cut to James as he says “Fine”. Cut to then clips of “Mortal Kombat” 2021 as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Jax kills Reiko in his battle as Liu summons his animality which looks a hundred times better than it did in “Annihilation” to take out Kabal. Meanwhile Sub-Zero takes Cole’s family hostage to kill them all. Cole appears to be outmatched in his battle when he uses Hanzo’s Kunai and summons Scorpion. Sub-Zero and Scorpion battle it out as Cole joins the battle and Sub-Zero is reduced to a smoldering pile of Ashes and thanks Cole for freeing him from his curse. The others arrive just as Cole rescues his family from freezing to death and for Raiden banishes Shang Tsung as the corpses of his fallen champions are taken back to outworld for the next tournament and the movie ends with Raiden telling everyone to prepare for the next tournament with Cole going for Johnny Cage.  (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
So that was the 2021 Mortal Kombat movie. There is a lot that happens however there is one problem with the movie I cannot overlook, the movie is too short. (Cut to clips of “Mortal Kombat” 2021 as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
I can say that the plot works, the cast performs their characters superbly, the music was well-paced and so many of the fights and effects were handled well. The biggest problem I had is that it was way too short. They could’ve added Liu Kang and Kung Lao’s backstory into how they gained their Dragon mark and how Raiden found them and told them what happened. They could’ve added the deleted scenes that are in the Blu-Ray and no harm could’ve happened. Movies can be longer than Hour and Fifty Minutes. But despite the short length of time the film has, it’s not a bad movie. I suggest if you check it out, throw in some Three Stooges Shorts to add to the time if you have a watch party just to make sure you and your friends feel fulfilled from spending time together. (Cut to James and Julia Alexa Miller in the Dojo as Steve summons the rest of the team to attack.)

Steve Kidd:
When I give the signal, both sides must defend themselves! (Cut to James and Julia Alexa Miller)

TLOTA:
You ready to go?

Julia Alexa Miller:
I think we should take it easy on them,

TLOTA:
Okay! (Cut to Steve Kidd)

Steve Kidd:
GO! (Cut to the rest of the team rush towards James and Julia Alexa Miller as they move towards the camera as it fades to black)

Connect The Plots: "Transformers" & The "Armageddon" of Michael Bay

(Opening begins at the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James in his office)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours and welcome to another edition of"Connect The Plots" (Cut to a scene of James trying to connect certain things together like the theatrical version of "Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers" & "Halloween: H20", All the movie adaptations of Stephen King, Superman Returns to the original Salkind Superman movies, the first three X-Men movies to the newer ones and the "Wolverine" & "Deadpool" movies before cutting to James strapped down in a straight jacket all the while a kid sings "Connect The Plots La-La-La!" before panning down to see anything that might have a minor connection spell the words "Connect The Plots" before cutting to the title card of "Armageddon" as an instrumental of "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" play in the foreground and James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): 
As it has been stated repeatedly here "Armageddon" directed by Michael Bay has become a cult classic, a guilty pleasure of mine, and has probably the biggest honor the movie could get a place in the Criterion Collection! That is insane. While a lot of the science behind it doesn't compute, nor does the whole drilling a nuke to blow an asteroid sky-high make a lick of sense. To me, this is the definition of popcorn entertainment that somehow has stood the test of time, which is far more than a franchise he drove into the ground. (Cut to clips of the Michael Bay "Transformers" movies as "Transformers" by the band Lion play in the foreground and James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Michael Bay's first"Transformers" was such a hit that Bay hit the Lather, Rinse, Repeat on the plot five times until finally Paramount had enough and has decided to give Bay the boot, hit the reboot button with two movies, One I have seen in snippets and a new one coming soon. But believe it or not, as insane as being able to connect the "Halloween" "Thorn Trilogy" to "H20" & "Resurrection", I think I have found something that connects Michael Bay's five clunkers "Transformers" movies to "Armageddon" and it ain't Michael Bay. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And would you believe that it was the main antagonist of the movie "Armageddon" and it ain't Gen. Kimsey, Col. Sharp, or anyone like that. It is the asteroid! (Cut to clips of "Armageddon" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
First off, the exact starting point of the asteroid, Just where did in the depths of space did it come from, if anything, I think that asteroid came from Cybertron. What helps me think that is the material of the asteroid is that of compressed Iron Ferrite, however, there were other metallic elements that they couldn't quantify. They could've been elements from making both Autobots and Decepticons. I mean when their drill's first attempt tears up only a few feet in, that's more than just Iron Ferrite and it can't be any metal in the elemental table that we know. So no wonder it took them just until almost the ending of the movie to get to the eight hundred feet to get the asteroid to the breaking point. In addition, when the nuclear weapon goes kerblammo that couldn't have been good, acting as a signal to any of the Autobots & Decepticons that had been inactive on Earth to wake up and as a signal to any and all Autobots and Decepticons still lost to make their way to our planet! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
"But wait," you say, "How do you explain the fact, someone, mentioning the movie "Armageddon" In the first "Transformers" movie?" Well... (Cut to the first "Transformers" movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
I am willing to bet despite signing NDAs I have to think that either "Rockhound" who in "Armageddon" was played by Steve Buscemi or "Chic" played by Will Patton had hit some hard financial times after Harry died and of course Governmental interference causing both Stamper Oil and A.J.'s oil drilling business to close their doors and the two decided to use Nom De Plumes to get around the NDAs to tell the story about how a group of Oil Drillers became Astronauts who had to drill into the heart of an asteroid, drop a nuclear weapon to save all of humanity from dying. A couple of Hollywood execs read the story, commissioned a script and "Armageddon" becomes a movie making the duo financially stable. Of course, they would have PTSD once the Transformers made their presence is known, and long story short "Rockhound" or "Chic" realize what they had done may have been was a bigger mistake than letting the asteroid hit the earth. Plus there may have been some of the remnants of the asteroid that made it to the Earth that activated the inert Autobots and Decepticons, might have taken them a few years but when they woke up, our planet became the home of their war. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
But do we have "Armageddon" to thank for the horrendousness that has been not only the "Transformers" movies but I have to say the destruction of the career of Michael Bay? I think both were inevitable and "Armageddon" was not the cause of it. (Cut to clips of both "Armageddon" and the Michael Bay "Transformers" movies as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
To me "Armageddon" may have been the start of Michael Bay's Swansong towards what happened with the "Transformers" movies, it comes as no surprise what has happened with Michael's work. And while nine times out of ten I would hope for something better for someone and I do wish the best for Michael if he never escapes the downward spiral that most moviemakers suffer, he knows his career has come to its endgame. And for me, I'm fine with it. But at least I'm fine knowing I enjoy one of his movies. If you find one movie enjoyable as well, good for you. Me "Armageddon" was Michael at his commercial and critical popcorn fun. Everything else has been a sign for me to roll on out of the theaters. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and that's my opinion.

"Reboot" of the View Askewniverse

(Scene starts with a laser beam in the sky as the music of the 1994 American Gladiators opening theme plays the angle of the camera goes into the laser as four shadowed figures with a lasered outlines appear as the shadows reveal themselves to be James Daniel Walsh & James Faraci in the center, Paulo Fonseca on the right and Rebecca Yaun on the left as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving towards the camera, four more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear and the shadows reveal themselves as Brenda Fonseca on the right, Nick Yaun on the left, and John and Mike Santos and their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving forward moving towards the camera, five more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as they reveal themselves to be Renee Miller and Eric Kurtzke on the right, Andrew Beach and Ed Champion on the left, and Olivia Horvath appears in the center as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame credits of “Written by James Daniel Walsh & James Faraci, Edited by Eric Kurtzke, Makeup by Olivia Horvath Produced by First Choice Productions” as it ends the Laser beam disappears and at the 0:28 mark of the theme song the laser beam cut out the words “The” “Last” “Of” “The” appear. At the 0:32-0:36 mark, the word “Americans” start to come forward as it pulls down, and James’ Morpher and Sonic Screwdriver is flung into the frame as James grabs both and morphs into The Last Of The Americans with James Daniel Walsh on his right with half of team TLOTA and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Fade cut to James in his office.)

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. Once again, we’re going to talk about Kevin Smith.  (Cut to images and stills of Kevin Smith and the myriad of his work as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
And for good reason even though he has had the odd movie where things haven’t worked for Kevin Smith, he has had a pretty solid career of making movies that have had audiences lining up to see his movies in droves, even some of his lesser works have a fan base. I saw footage of people dressed up as the Bratwurst Soldiers from “Yoga Hosers” that is awesome. And as of this review, Kevin Smith is once again going back to the View Askewniverse with “Clerks III”, and we have a heart attack Kevin suffered, and one movie to thank Kevin for getting back into the View Askewniverse. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And since I am talking about Kevin Smith, this one is one everyone saw coming (Audio of “Goodbye Horses” play as it cuts to the title card of “Jay & Silent Bob: Reboot”, then cutting to clips of “Jay & Silent Bob: Reboot” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Possibly one of the best comeback movies for anyone, Kevin Smith decided to go back to the well again and not only found something better than how it was done the first time around, but he was also able to make something this feel like the beginning of the next chapter of this universe. So how will Jay & Silent Bob connect to a new generation? What surprises await our favorite long-time Stoner Duo? (Cut to James Physically)

TLOTA:
Well, the answers are going to be revealed in “Jay and Silent Bob: Reboot” (Cut to clips of “Jay & Silent Bob: Reboot” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
The movie opens as a SWAT team converges on the Quick Stop and the adjoining business now that RST Video has gone the way of the Dodo known as “Cock Smokers” which happens to be a Chicken cooking Joint which turns out to be a weed dispensary owned by of course Jay once again played by Jason Mewes and his Hetero Life Mate Silent Bob! Which of course was on its way to legalized status in Jersey as the movie was in production. We soon find Jay & Silent Bob in court where a lawyer for believe it or not Saban Films played by Justin Long decides to represent the duo and not only get the duo off of the charges but then quickly and in true Hollywood style get the rights to use Jay & Silent Bob for an upcoming reboot of “Bluntman & Chronic”! (Cut to the Power Rangers jokes characters are making because of “Saban Films”. Cut to James physically.)

TLOTA:
Bit of a correction you need to make there Kevin, if and when you do talk about Power Rangers again, in 2018 Hasbro bought the rights to the Power Rangers Franchise Lock, Stock, and Barrel, and while Haim Saban’s name is still attached to the franchise, let’s just say Linkara is more involved in the franchise then Saban is. (Cut to clips of “Jay & Silent Bob: Reboot” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Licking their wounds from the legal victory and the loss of the rights to call themselves “Jay & Silent Bob” to Saban Films. Our duo decides to go to Mall where Brodie once again played by Jason Lee has set up his comic book store after rent disputes at his old place. While there, everyone talks about one of their favorite movies “How High” and how they learned how to grow the Devil’s lettuce from “How High” they also discuss what caused them to lose the right to Calling themselves, Jay & Silent Bob. Kevin Smith, who exists in this world is directing the “Bluntman & Chronic” reboot. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
So does that mean that all the movies Kevin Smith made happened in the View Askewniverse as well? And if that’s the case then what about the movies that featured Kevin Smith in character roles and…and…and… (James goes crossed eye as a still of Kevin Smith shouting “Cuckoo” comes out of James’ scalp, an image of Jay pops out of James’ right ear and an image of Silent Bob pops out of James’ left ear, and James blows a party noisemaker as a crazy instrumental of “Hurray for The Red, White and Blue” play. Cut to clips of “Jay & Silent Bob: Reboot” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
After a brief talk about the difference between a Sequel and a Reboot, we see our heroes watching a video that has Kevin Smith tell about a cameo for the movie done at a convention about “Bluntman & Chronic”. That gives our duo the idea to once again go to Hollywood to stop the movie from happening. After a brief joke at both Kevin Smith and Silent Bob about their weight problem and of course Jay & Silent Bob being banned due to their involvement in “C.L.I.T” from “Strike Back” our duo decide to do some credit fraud thanks to Ralph Garmin’s loud and angry “Ted Underhill” our heroes hit the road on a ride-sharing trip with Fred Armisen and a healthy supply of Tater Tots which he tried to market to tweens as “Hater Tots” but found an audience he didn’t want Radical Racists. (Cut to James physically as there is a knock at James’ door.)

TLOTA:
It’s open! (Cut to the door as Julia Alexa Miller comes in.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
I hate to interrupt you while you’re doing a review but, there’s a couple of people here who want to see you. (Cut to James.)

TLOTA:
Can they wait? (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
I’ll ask. (Cut to James physically as the audio has Julia Alexa Miller talking and a voice shouting about how he had a heart attack and how he couldn’t fly because he was overweight and how he had to become a vegan until he says “Oh a waiting period, How much longer before James is available?” with Julia Alexa Miller saying “Soon” Cut to clips of “Jay & Silent Bob: Reboot” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
After a brief appearance from Matt Damon’s Loki from “Dogma”, our heroes take a pit stop in Illinois. At a Mooby’s Jay discovers that the woman he loved Justice played by Shannon Elizabeth is now a Meteorologist for a local news channel. As their driver is arrested, Jay & Silent Bob find where Justice lives and is immediately incapacitated by a girl in a hockey mask and an attitude. After waking up, Justice brings Jay & Silent Bob up to speed, especially with the fact that Jay has a daughter, she doesn’t know who he is and Justice would like to keep it that way. Jay is introduced to his daughter Millenium Faulken. Okay, that’s kind of funny I will admit. Millenium or Millie as she would be called for the rest of the movie is played by Kevin’s daughter Harley Quinn Smith seems to have a good life and has a good friend Soppaphia, however as Justice and her better half Reggie played Rosario Dawson. Who I’m sure has a look-alike relative in New Jersey who runs a Mooby’s and is married to a man named Dante who is a partial owner of a little place called Quick Stop. Anyhoo as Justice and Reggie head on out Millie and her friend hold her dad hostage to take them to Chronic-Con.  (Cut to James physically as there is a knock at James’ door.)

TLOTA:
It’s open! (Cut to the door as Julia Alexa Miller comes in.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
Yeah, you may want to take a break and meet our guests. (Cut to James as he steps out of the office as it cuts to the opening to the Main Lobby)

TLOTA:
This better be important… (Jay & Silent Bob’s surprise music is played as it cuts to Jason Mewes on a recliner.)

Jason Mewes:
YO! WHAT’S UP MR. LAST OF THE AMERICANS! (Jay & Silent Bob’s surprise music is played as it cuts to Kevin Smith)

Kevin Smith:
Hello James, so you’re probably wondering what it is I am doing here? (Jay & Silent Bob’s surprise music is played as it cuts to James with a look of “Pants to be darkened” on his face as James runs for his life. Cut to Julia Alexa Miller as she looks on with Jason and Kevin looking over her shoulders.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
He’ll be back, soon, I hope…

(The Sound of tires screeching at warp speed is heard as it fades to black, it then cuts to the 0:36 Mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme as it shows James fully morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Cut to the 0:36 Mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme as it shows James fully morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Cut to “Jay & Silent Bob: Reboot” as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
As Jay, Silent Bob, Millie, and her friend make their way to Chronic-Con Jay tries to be a dad and try to keep her daughter from making the same mistakes he made by forcing her not to talk about her private “Stimulation” and try to keep her from the weed Sophie grew in a commune but Jay forgot about one thing Weed laced Chocolate with enough of the ganj to knock someone my size out for about a month! (Cut to James physically in his car heading back to the studio in the vain hopes that Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes aren’t there anymore.)

TLOTA:
But I don’t know because I never touch the stuff, I’m just guessing. MOVING ON! (Cut to clips of “Jay & Silent Bob: Reboot” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
After a moment in which Jay & Silent Bob has a moment with Redman & Method Man to discuss weed and parenthood. Jay wakes up looking like he’s teabagging Silent Bob as Millie and Sophie introduce us to Millie’s friends from an online support group, AND I SWEAR TO GOD I AM NOT MAKING THESE NAMES UP, their names are Jihad and Shan Yu! WEE-OOOH! And apparently, Shan Yu is a Podcaster that tries to contextualize life in America for her audience in the homeland! Once they discover that they lost their ride. Millie begins a plan to take a van to get to Chronic-Con with Jay and Silent Bob which looks familiarly like the Van from “Strike Back”. On the ride there Jay has the thought that his offspring and her friends are International Diamond Thieves Like Millie’s mom Justice, and her old associates. However, after a half-pissed/half-crazed return of the Fred Armisen Driver character. Millie takes off with her friends leaving Jay & Silent Bob in the lurch! (Cut to James quietly trying to get to his office as he looks through a periscope and sees Julia Alexa Miller, Jason Mewes, and Kevin Smith talking about things one subject being James as James quietly makes it back to the office with a Whew nearly giving him away)

TLOTA (Quietly):
Just for the record, my oldest nieces wouldn’t be that way around me! (Cut to clips of “Jay & Silent Bob: Reboot” as James quietly does a voiceover)

TLOTA ( Quiet V.O.):
Jay & Silent Bob quickly catch up to the girls as they find themselves caught by the members of those Knuckleheaded Clucking S.O.B.s led by of all people Chris “Le’ Champion” Jericho! Silent Bob distracts the Klan as Jay hits them with a bit of the weed and a port-a-potty filled to the brim with their excrement. Make your own DX dumping the McMahons and Spirit Squad with the contents of an overfilled port-a-potty jokes. The next morning Jay, Silent Bob, and the others make it to a level of Hell that Satan calls his winter home, Hollywood and they get to Chronic-con as Jay & Silent Bob get ready to stop the film and Millie tries to get her friend into the movie. While Jay & Silent Bob is being chased through different Q&As that features Jason Biggs and James Van Der Beek, The “Comic Book Men” cast and the cast of wait a second… the cast from “clerks”  is in this and they’re in black & white? (Cut to James goes crossed eye as a still of Kevin Smith shouting “Cuckoo” comes out of James’ scalp, an image of Jay pops out of James’ right ear and an image of Silent Bob pops out of James’ left ear, and James blows a party noisemaker as a crazy instrumental of “Hurray for The Red, White and Blue” play. The muffled voice of Julia Alexa Miller saying “That might be him in his office.”  The muffled voice of Kevin Smith says “Let’s check it out!”)

TLOTA:
Crap! Got to be quick! (Cut to clips of “Jay & Silent Bob: Reboot” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Holden McNeil and Alyssa Jones played by Ben Affleck and Joey Lauren Adams pop in as Jay & Silent Bob meet their daughter Amy played by Jason Mewes’ actual daughter Logan Lee. (THUD) They discuss what it’s like to be a dad and Jay realizes that even though he may no longer be Jay he is something better, Millenium Faulkon’s Father as Holden gives Jay and Silent Bob the necessary passes to get into the girls into the movie. (THUD) The gang makes into the meeting with Kevin Smith, see a brief clip of the “Bluntman V Chronic” movie Kevin had in mind as we get cameos from Val Kilmer, Tommy Chong, and Melissa Benoist. (THUD) We get a classic comedy moment as Silent Bob and Kevin Smith do their own take on the classic Marx Brothers Mirror bit. (THUD) Millie and Silent Bob get on the stage incognito as they… (A final thud and shrapnel from the door Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith scream and the footage stops right there. Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith look at the moment and at each other.)

Jason Mewes:
On three?

Kevin Smith:
Damn right! ONE! TWO! THREE! (The two go down to the bottom of the stopped moment as they push it up as James tries to run for it again Julia Alexa Miller forces James to sit back down.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
Relax! They’re not here to cause you pain! (Cut to Jason Mewes)

Jason Mewes:
Listen to the lady, James. Kevin and I have a proposition for you. (Cut to James and Julia Alexa Miller)

TLOTA:
Name your proposition. (Cut to Kevin Smith)

Kevin Smith:
You don’t spoil the ending to the movie, finish your review, and then we will see if I can get you and Alex a cameo in the movie. There will be a million-dollar payday for it (Cut to James and Julia Alexa Miller)

TLOTA:
Can me and Alex think it over?

Kevin Smith (Audio only):
Please. (James and Julia Alexa Miller huddle up as they whisper to each other for five seconds.)

TLOTA:
For a million dollars? Absolutely! (James gives a thumbs-up as the scene freezes as cutting to the same type of text used in the ending of “Mallrats” and music “Suzanne” from Weezer playing in the background as images of everyone is seen to show what was going to happen to everyone with “Kevin Smith couldn’t make good on his word to get James and Julia Alexa Miller into Clerks III.” “Julia Alexa Miller left both Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes in a world of hurting. Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes will be better by the end of 2021” “The Rest Of The Team, James’ friends, colleagues, and betters joined James for a week off in Sullivan County New York.” “Why they’re in Strait Jackets and looking demented will be told… Eventually” (Cut to clips of “Jay and Silent Bob Reboot”) “Although James won’t give the ending away. James thought this was one of Kevin Smith’s best movies and a great return to form for Kevin” “James also thinks that the references, writing, acting,  and directing was some of Kevin’s finest as well” “However James thinks for anyone who makes this their first movie featuring Kevin Smith, shouldn’t. This should be this one watched AFTER watching the classics to get the references.” “If you are a hardcore Kevin Smith fan then James strongly recommends getting it on Blu-Ray, Digital, in any way you can. It will not disappoint!” Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That’s my opinion! (James walks away as the scene fades to black.) 

An arthouse "Head" trip

  (0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James in his office physically)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and the views I'm about to express are that of my own & some of yours. So the last few times I talked about something either crazy or something movie based on music, I mentioned two different things "The Monkees" or their only cinematic outing "Head" (Cut to the title card of "Head" then clips of the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
And to be fair, this movie even today is one gigantic mindfuck! But there is a story that needs to be told behind this movie and its four stars. The Late Davy Jones, The Late Peter Tork, Michael Nesmith & Mickey Dolenz when combined performed as "The Monkees". (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And to tell the story of "Head", I have to tell the story of how we got here. Imagine yourself in the 1960s you've seen the movies "A Hard Day's Night" & "HELP!" which starred instantaneous musical icons "The Beatles" and you decided to do a series starring four semi-unknown performers to capitalize on their success. Well, that's how Bert Schnieder and Bob Rafelson came up with The Monkees. (Cut to the intros and clips from the first & second season of "The Monkees" and clips from "Behind The Music: The Monkees" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
On September 12th, 1966 the series "The Monkees" premiered on NBC and from the start, the series was very lighthearted and silly. However, as the first season went on Michael Nesmith was feeling restrained by Don Kirschner the head of the musical production of both the band and the series. Nesmith and Kirschner locked horns with Kirschner eventually relenting to have Nesmith produce several B-Sides for the first two albums. When The Monkees hit the road for their first tour, they slowly but surely became more comfortable in their musical abilities. Though this is where Don Kirschner returns to the picture. While trying his best to keep the hit-making machine the band was becoming and trying to hold the reigns tighter on the band, Kirshner released a second album while their first was still doing well in the charts. Michael and the late Peter Tork nearly had a meltdown because they didn't expect the album to be out while A) The first album was released, B) The way the album was done without them knowing what had happened and what was on the album, and C)With The Monkees on their first tour. Finally, leading to the moment at the Beverly Hills Hotel in which Kirschner had for The Monkees four individual checks for a quarter of a million dollars and four gold records for Davy, Michael, Mickey & Peter. It was there that Michael Nesmith basically told Kirschner that he and the others felt disrespected with the way Kirschner was handling their music and Kirschner's lawyer shoved the contract in Michael Nesmith's face. Michael's response was to punch a wall at the hotel and say "Yeah, That could've been your face!". Kirschner's career soon ended with both The Monkees and  Columbia's music department. While The Monkees continued both the series and making albums they also had plans to do something else after the second season. (Cut to James Physically)

TLOTA:
This is where Burt Schneider and Bob Rafelson met a then young and semi-unknown named Jack Nicholson and this is where "Head" started. (Cut to clips of the movie "Head" as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Apparently, from what had been reported The Monkees, Jack, Burt & Bob went into a place, got baked out of their marbles, and talked their ideas out into a tape recorder. While filming in June of 1968 their series had been canceled. Then the movie "Head" came out. With a budget of seven hundred fifty thousand dollars, an R rating, and Bob Rafelson in the director's chair, the movie was a critical and commercial disaster! The movie opens with The Monkees jumping off a bridge and from there it goes darker and crazier than the series did. It has the foursome A) In a warzone with Peter getting a photo for a cover in Life Magazine then being repeatedly tackled by NFL legend Ray Nitschke, performing in a concert which is intercut with news clips of events of the day ends with the band being torn to pieces then it goes off the rails even further with insane ideas like for Mickey Dolenz having become a Shiek War Lord in the middle of the dessert with a harem for destroying a Coca Cola machine, Michael and Mickey doing a brief scene in a Western, Davy having to fight Sonny Liston, then having to perform after The Monkees are sucked up into a Vacuum, how he escaped I don't know. Then we have a myriad of other insane moments in which involves them trying to regain what little control they had to the plot but to no avail. Eventually, the movie already off it's nut ends with Peter eventually meeting someone calling themself "The Swami" and Peter relaying what he found out to the others and saying "I Know Nothing" which sends Davy off like a nuclear bomb attacking the set and the studio only for the four to be in the desert to see the whatever this movie has for antagonists The Monkees run on foot for their existences which goes back to bridge to jump off and the four being carted off in an aquarium tank on the back of a truck. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
So it isn't a surprise to me why this movie didn't work except for showing the self-destruction of The Monkees. (Cut to clips of the movie "Head" as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
According to Bob Rafelson who directed the movie "The Monkees were victims in the movie of the industry and the movie was meant to move the band towards a more mature audience." Well, seeing as how their album sales were toast by the time the movie came out and the failure of the movie, the only thing that did happen was to show The Monkees as behind the times and out of the ground to even stand on. So much so Peter Tork left the band after the movie failed. Not long after that after a few more albums, Michael Nesmith leaves and then A-The, A-The, A-The, A That's All for The Monkees! As for Burt Schneider & Bob Rafelson, they went on to collaborate again with Nicholson, Dennis Hopper, and Peter Fonda on Easy Rider, and then Nicholson worked with Schneider and Rafelson on a movie called "Five Easy Pieces" both movies earned Nicholson an academy award nomination. (Cut to the performances of "The Monkees" and to the performers of the four in the years after their Heyday as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Meanwhile, The Monkees fell into even further obscurity until MTV played reruns which revived their popularity to the point where they were able to tour sans Michael Nesmith who inherited a fortune from his mom who made "Liquid Paper". While Michael did perform on and off over the years with his old bandmates, in 1997 we see The Monkees return to tv with one last special, "Hey, Hey It's The Monkees" sees the foursome return to try and see where they stand with the audience of today which ends with The foursome having one last great concert together and knowing people actually liked their music and with them getting the respect they had earned over the years, which to me is a better way to see The Monkees get a sense of closure more than "Head" ever did. That same year their final album as a foursome "Justus" came out. They performed at Wembley Stadium for several performances with Michael eventually leaving for the last time. You can probably and correctly assume that after Davy and Peter's death that Mickey and Michael will have one last tour together before calling it a career as "The Monkees". (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Now having gone over the career of The Monkees and the movie. What do I think of the movie "Head"? I can say it is a really good arthouse movie. (Cut to clips of the movie "Head" as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Now even though according to The Monkees, Burt Schneider, and Bob Rafelson it is also meant to be a dark and satirical look into how Hollywood works and destroys us. I can think of better movies that do that situation without having such a weird and absurd plot. I think if the movie was meant to be how the culture was not where it should've been or how we were being shown as a culture in the decline of where we once were. Well if that was the case, WHY DID YOU THROW THE MONKEES INTO THE MIX? Even though Davy Jones said that "Head" was not the movie The Monkees were supposed to make, I say it had to be made but not in the way it was. Had it had someone outside of the band, Rafelson, Schneider, and Nicholson trying to make this movie, it probably would've been more well handled. But as is, if you need to just go into a movie where you need to feel crazy, then I suggest you find it. Though it is rare to find on either Blu-Ray or DVD, I suggest you try YouTube to get the experience of insanity The Monkees gave you. Whether you wanted to see it or not. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and that's my opinion.

The Different Cuts of: Superman The Movie

 (Scene starts with a laser beam in the sky as the music of the 1994 American Gladiators opening theme plays the angle of the camera goes into the laser as four shadowed figures with a lasered outlines appear as the shadows reveal themselves to be James Daniel Walsh & James Faraci in the center, Paulo Fonseca on the right and Rebecca Yaun on the left as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving towards the camera, four more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear and the shadows reveal themselves as Brenda Fonseca on the right, Nick Yaun on the left, and John and Mike Santos and their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving forward moving towards the camera, five more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as they reveal themselves to be Renee Miller and Eric Kurtzke on the right, Andrew Beach and Ed Champion on the left, and Olivia Horvath appears in the center as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame credits of “Written by James Daniel Walsh & James Faraci, Edited by Eric Kurtzke, Makeup by Olivia Horvath Produced by First Choice Productions” as it ends the Laser beam disappears and at the 0:28 mark of the theme song the laser beam cut out the words “The” “Last” “Of” “The” appear. At the 0:32-0:36 mark, the word “Americans” start to come forward as it pulls down, and James’ Morpher and Sonic Screwdriver is flung into the frame as James grabs both and morphs into The Last Of The Americans with James Daniel Walsh on his right with half of team TLOTA and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Fade cut to James as he walks into his studio and towards his lobby.)

TLOTA:
Woo, that was a fun time. Now to relax with one of my favorite 4^th of July movies. “Superman The Movie” the best, the classic, the original… (Cut to James as he looks at the three different versions of “Superman: The Movie”. Cut to a very confused James.)

TLOTA:
What is going on? “Superman: The Movie (1978)”, “Superman The Movie (2001 Special Edition)”, “Superman: The Movie (The Three Hour TV Edition)”?

????:
Figured you might want to marathon some Christopher Reeve Superman! (James turns and screams, Cut to James Daniel Walsh as he screams. Cut to James Faraci The Last Of The Americans as he screams. Cut to James Daniel Walsh as he screams. Cut to James Faraci The Last Of The Americans as he screams. Cut to James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and James Daniel Walsh as the two screams in unison.)

TLOTA:
Boss! (Cut to James Daniel Walsh as he hops over the couch)

James Daniel Walsh:
Well James,  since you are as much a Superman fan, I figured you might want to watch and analyze all three versions of “Superman: The Movie” with me! Besides, I said to you I want to do it. (The Last of The Americans joins James Daniel Walsh)

TLOTA:
Okay then let’s talk about “The Different Cuts of Superman: The Movie”

(Whistling version “The Lumberjack Song” is heard as Team TLOTA dressed as Lumberjacks see a gigantic piece of film celluloid and James chops it down and the other members cut it to different lengths and on the ends sticking out of the back of the truck the words “The Different Cuts” are seen in differing syllables. Cut to the opening of “Superman: The Movie” then to clips of the movie as James Daniel Walsh and The Last Of The Americans do voiceovers.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
As stated before, by the 1970s Superman’s popularity had hit such a low that the bottom of the barrel isn’t even at the start of how low Superman had fallen especially as to how people treated Superman as a character and of course, Superfriends pretty much were working network standards and practices to their breaking point. (Cut to James Faraci and James Daniel Walsh dressed in white button-up shirts and black ties.)

Network S&P man #1 (Played by James Faraci):
David, did you see this joke about Superman having landed on Fire Island? (The two briefly laugh)

Network S&P man #2 (Played by James Daniel Walsh):
Cut it! Oh Steve, see this Superman joke in San Francisco with him going over the rainbow? (The Two briefly laugh)

Network S&P man #1:
Gone!

Network S&P man #2:
Good!  (The two open bottles of Jack Daniels after reading the script. Cut to clips of “Superman The Movie” as James Daniel Walsh and The Last Of The Americans do voiceovers.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
But after the success of “Jaws” in 1975, “Rocky” in 1976 & the original “Star Wars” in 1977, movies were starting to be more entertaining and father and son producing duo Alexander & Ilya Salkind fresh off of making “The Three Musketeers” and its sequel decided to try their hand at doing Superman justice and after going through half of Hollywood’s directing pool chose Richard Donner to direct this movie and its sequel.

James Daniel Walsh (V.O.):
However, when Production decided to focus on the first movie they had to hope for the best and pray for the worst. What happened was that the movie went on to be the highest-grossing movie for Warner Bros. for a long time. However, in 2000 Warner Bros. released a special edition of the movie and this version is the one Richard Donner considers his favorite version. Little did any of us know growing up who became a fan of both versions of this movie there was a third cut made specifically for TV which threw every scene they had in the book in terms of deleted scenes which was released on Blu-Ray in 2017. I would guess this is the cut of the movie I saw when I was three, which is literally my first ever memory.  (Cut to James Daniel Walsh and The Last Of The Americans on the horseshoe couch)

TLOTA:
Well since you we take a look at the Extended TV Cut and compare them against the 1978 original and the 2000 Special Edition versions in “The Different Cuts”. And the way this segment works is…

James Daniel Walsh
I’m aware of the four categories for judgment. “The Plot”, “Editing”, “Cast & Characters” and finally “The Re-Watch Factor”.

TLOTA:
Precisely! (Julia Alexa Miller comes in.) Hey Alex, you’ve met my boss before, Julia Alexa Miller this is James Daniel Walsh!

Julia Alexa Miller:
Hi James, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Do you mind if I speak with James Faraci, privately?

James Daniel Walsh:
By all means.

Julia Alexa Miller:
Thanks. (Cut to James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and Julia Alexa Miller as James is slammed into his office) That’s your boss.

TLOTA:
Yep, and if he does something to piss you off and you do something to him, I’m off the site and I’m as good as dead!

Julia Alexa Miller:
So if he does something wrong to you, I have to accept that you are going to take it? What if he does something wrong to you and I have anger towards him, what do I do? (The door opens behind the two to see Chad Narducci.)

Chad Narducci (Slightly out of focus and in the background.):
Hey James, Who’s the guy on the couch? (The Two turn to see a very confused Chad. Cut James and Julia Alexa Miller as the two look at the camera.)

TLOTA:
Oh, Chad, you shouldn’t have opened up the door, but at least by the end, you’ll be in a nice and chocolatey place. (Cut to Chad Narducci)

Chad Narducci:
Why? (Dramatic music as the camera zooms to Chad’s face. Cut to James Daniel Walsh and The Last Of The Americans on the couch.)

James Daniel Walsh:
So everything ready James?

TLOTA:
Let’s start to figure out which is the best one starting with the plot! (Cut to the Covers of “Superman” the original version, the extended cut & The 3 hour TV version appear as the Music cue from the 1:43 mark until the 1:59 mark, and the words “The Plot” in the same text as the first Superman movie opening credits as it cuts to clips of all three as James Daniel Walsh and The Last of The Americans do voiceovers.)

James Daniel Walsh (V.O.):
The last survivor of the doomed planet Krypton baby Kal-El finds his way to the planet Earth. Raised by loving human parents Jonathan and Martha Kent in Smallville, he finds his way to the North Pole to create a Fortress of Solitude. After spending time learning from his Kryptonian father Jor-El, he becomes Earth’s greatest superhero, Superman! And by absolute coincidence, Lex Luthor has a plan to wipe California off the map for real estate. Now the question is, which version uses this plot better. I have to go along with Richard Donner as far as his director’s cut being the best version of the movie. It restores some crucial scenes that weren’t in the theatrical version, such as Jor-El scolding his son and telling him to be mindful of pride. This helps expand on the ending, giving more weight to the scene where Superman prepares to turn back time. The TV cut has its merits, but I think it’s a bit overstuffed. Unlike the TV version of The Godfather, which feels epic, the TV version of Superman just feels bloated, and the scenes deleted from the other two cuts probably belonged on the cutting room floor.

TLOTA (V.O.):
I have to agree, the reason I liked the 3 Hour Cut was simple, it was more of the movie that I loved but this was one case of there being too much being too much. While nothing against the theatrical cut, The Special Edition released in 2000 is the one every Superman fan, myself included finds it to be the go to cut to convert those who want to know about Superman (Cut to James Daniel Walsh and The Last Of The Americans)

James Daniel Walsh:
So the one that used the plot best is the 2000 Special Edition or The “Donner 2000” Cut

TLOTA:
That’s right, and because the “Donner 2000” cut is the best version it gets the first point

James Daniel Walsh:
That’s right. (Cut to the Covers of “Superman” the original version, the extended cut & The 3 hour TV version appear as the Music cue from the 1:43 mark until the 1:59 mark, and a Kryptonian crystal over the extended cut. Cut to James and The Last Of The Americans on the horseshoe couch.)

James Daniel Walsh:
Now we come to editing. Which is a category because?

TLOTA:
Movies have a lot of footage and when you make a movie, you need to cut out scenes, and when you do the wrong scene or right scene can alter the movie’s outcome.

James Daniel Walsh:
You’re good!

(Cut to the Covers of “Superman” the original version, the extended cut & The 3 hour TV version appear as the Music cue from the 1:43 mark until the 1:59 mark, and the words “Editing” in the same text as the first Superman movie opening credits as it cuts to clips of all three as James Daniel Walsh and The Last of The Americans do voiceovers.)

James Daniel Walsh (V.O.) :
While there’s nothing wrong with the editing of the theatrical cut, the Donner cut fleshes out the story without ever feeling redundant. It gives more weight to an already epic story, much as the expanded editions of the Lord of the Rings movies did. As I said before, the TV cut is just bloated. It may have worked better spaced out over a couple of nights with commercial breaks added in, but as one long movie it gives us too much of a good thing.

TLOTA (V.O.):
Yeah, I have to agree, I mean I didn’t need to see the Kryptonian Guard’s face zooming through the screen or the whole piano scene in which Miss Tessmacher is lowered into a pit of an animal. A moment Bryan Singer copied for “Superman Returns” with a different moment involved. I just wished they left the other scenes of Krypton’s destruction. But maybe that would’ve been a little too much back in 2000. (Cut to James Daniel Walsh and The Last Of The Americans on the Horseshoe Couch)

TLOTA:
Which mean that the “Donner 2000” cut is the better-edited version?

James Daniel Walsh:
Yes and if you don’t mind if I explain?

TLOTA:
Go right ahead! (Cut to cuts to clips of all three as James Daniel Walsh does a voiceover.)

James Daniel Walsh (V.O.):
While there is nothing wrong with the theatrical cut, and the extended cut works as its own thing, the Donner cut hits that sweet spot. The story moves along at just the right pace, the characters are fully developed, their motivations are clear, and we get to know them without any unnecessary fluff getting in the way. This was the version that should have been released in theaters. Richard Donner never made a bad movie in my opinion. The man was an underrated genius (Cut to James Daniel Walsh and The Last Of The Americans on the Horseshoe couch.)

TLOTA:
No questions about it! The point goes to the “Donner 2000” (Cut to the Covers of “Superman” the original version, the extended cut & The 3 hour TV version appear as the Music cue from the 1:43 mark until the 1:59 mark, and two Kryptonian crystals over the extended cut. Cut to James and The Last Of The Americans on the horseshoe couch.)

James Daniel Walsh:
So the “Donner 2000”cut is ahead right now, and I am exhausted. How about a break?

TLOTA:
Sure thing boss, I’ll get us something.

James Daniel Walsh:
Why not let Alex do it or someone else on the team?

TLOTA:
Here’s the thing, I would only ask Alex if I had a death wish! So, I’ll grab whatever you want, you take it easy.

(The Scene fades to black, it then cuts to the 0:36 Mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme as it shows James fully morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Cut to the 0:36 Mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme as it shows James fully morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Cut to James Daniel Walsh & The Last Of The Americans on the Horseshoe Couch.)

TLOTA:
So are you ready to get back at it?

James Daniel Walsh:
Yes James I am, The next category is… what again?

TLOTA:
It’s the cast and the characters.

(Cut to the Covers of “Superman” the original version, the extended cut & The 3 hour TV version appear as the Music cue from the 1:43 mark until the 1:59 mark, and the words “Cast and Characters” in the same text as the first Superman movie opening credits as it cuts to clips of all three as James Daniel Walsh and The Last of The Americans do voiceovers.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
I have to say between all three cuts the cast is amazing. And I applaud Director Richard Donner insisted on an unknown actor. Could anyone imagine someone like Burt Reynolds, Warren Beatty, Ryan O’Neal,  Sylvester Stallone,  Harrison Ford, Richard Dreyfus, or even Robert Redford or even Dustin Hoffman in the role of Superman? (Cut to a casting room where said actors except Richard Dreyfus & Dustin Hoffman were in the room as they’re played by James Faraci, James Daniel Walsh, John Ross Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Mike Santos, Nick Yaun & Paulo Fonseca)

Warren Beatty (Played by Eric Kurtzke):
Okay, I am solid the producers will hire me, not only can I star in this here movie, I can direct it as well.

(Burt Reynolds played by Paulo Fonseca Chuckles)

Burt Reynolds (Played by Paulo Fonseca):
Son, just go on home to mama! I’ve got this one in the bag!

Ryan O’Neal (Played by Ed Champion):
Listen, I need this role, I’ve prostituted myself to every Warners Exec to get this role, I need a hit under my belt so that Farrah doesn’t make me her bitch!

Harrison Ford (Played by Nick Yaun):
Well, I’m the guy who is in the most popular movie right now!

Sylvester Stallone(Played by James Faraci):
Hey Yo! (Sylvester Stallone mumbling is translated as “I’m the guy who wrote Rocky! I can re-write the movie and I can direct it, I’m a multi-talented man, I’m a shoo-in!)

Robert Redford (Played by James Daniel Walsh):
Despite your mumbling there, mush mouth, I’m getting the role partly because my family wants to see me in a “Commercial” role and I can film in Colorado those “Fortress Of Solitude” and the scenes up north. (The door opens to show a defeated Dustin Hoffman & Richard Dreyfus walking in and sitting down)

Dustin Hoffman (Played by John Ross Santos):
We just talked to the producers and Richard Donner

Richard Dreyfus (Played by Mike Santos):
They decided on this no-named actor by the name of Christopher Reeve. (Everyone else shout “What?”. Ryan gets angry and slugs Sylvester and a brawl ensues. Cut to “Superman: The Movie” as James Daniel Walsh and The Last Of The Americans do voiceovers.)

James Daniel Walsh (V.O.):
And we can’t forget the performances of the late Marlon Brando, Gene Hackman, Terrance Stamp, Sarah Douglas, Jack O’Halloran, the late Ned Beatty, the late Margot Kidder, Marc McClure, the late Jackie Cooper, the late Glenn Ford, Valerie Perrine, Susannah York, and many others, it is not understating the obvious that the cast is amazingly talented! But which cut of this movie used this cast to its full potential This is where the TV version actually shines. While the story itself is over stuffed, the performances remain solid all the way through. There’s nothing wrong with the performances in the other two cuts, the TV version just gives us more of these amazing actors being amazing.TLOTA (V.O.):
[Save for after reading James Daniel Walsh’s opinion] (Cut to James Daniel Walsh and The Last Of The Americans on the Horseshoe Couch)

TLOTA:
So the 3 Hour TV version gets the point?

James Daniel Walsh:
Wouldn’t you think that the 3 Hour Cut giving you more Superman be a good thing? (James open his mouth but nods in agreement)And even though the  “Donner 2000” cut is still in the lead this point goes to the 3 Hour TV Cut.

TLOTA:
Okay, I agree with that (Cut to the Covers of “Superman” the original version, the extended cut & The 3 hour TV version appear as the Music cue from the 1:43 mark until the 1:59 mark, and a Kryptonian Crystal over the 3 Hour Cut and two Kryptonian Crystals over the extended cut. Cut to James and The Last Of The Americans on the horseshoe couch.)

TLOTA:
And now we come to the final category, the deciding factor of which one is the best cut of “Superman: The Movie”….

James Daniel Walsh:
The Re-Watch Factor. Now please enlighten me, what is “The Re-Watch Factor”

TLOTA:
Okay, let’s say you saw a movie when you were a kid and it was your favorite but somehow it got lost in the shuffle of time, and your tastes changes, but by some miracle, you find that one movie you liked as a kid and you say to yourself “Hmm, it’s been a lifetime since I’ve seen this one, is it still as good as I remember?” And to everyone’s surprise, not only do enjoy it, you say to yourself “Holy Smokes, this movie is as awesome as I remembered when I saw it as a kid!”

James Daniel Walsh:
Wow, that sounds like a dream come true. I would love to re-live the experience of seeing my childhood favorites, like Ghostbusters or Back to the Future, for the first time.

(Cut to the Covers of “Superman” the original version, the extended cut & The 3 hour TV version appear as the Music cue from the 1:43 mark until the 1:59 mark, and the words “The Re-watch factor” in the same text as the first Superman movie opening credits as it cuts to clips of all three as James Daniel Walsh and The Last of The Americans do voiceovers.)

James Daniel Walsh (V.O.) :
Ever since the Donner cut was released on DVD, my copy of the theatrical cut has gathered dust. Much as with the theatrical cuts of Lord of the Rings, when you’re experiencing them for the first time you can’t imagine them being better. Then you see the director’s full vision and you just can’t unsee it. The TV version is more of an oddity, something you watch once or twice in your life. The Donner cut never gets old.

TLOTA (V.O.):
Yeah kind of agree with you again on this. The Three-hour cut’s novelty does seem to wear out its welcome quickly. While again the theatrical cut is awesome and the 3 Hour cut has its place in Superman Movie lore the “Donner 2000” cut somehow finds that sweet spot to find every scene make sense. (Cut to James Daniel Walsh and The Last Of The Americans on the Horseshoe Couch)

James Daniel Walsh:
And that makes The “Donner 2000” is the best cut.

TLOTA:
Cool with me, even though I liked all three cuts, I will agree that the “Donner 2000”  is the best cut.

(Cut to the Covers of “Superman” the original version, the extended cut & The 3 hour TV version appear as the Music cue from the 1:43 mark until the 1:59 mark, and a Kryptonian Crystal over the 3 Hour Cut and three Kryptonian Crystals over the extended cut. Cut to a clip in which the lesser cuts are put into the Phantom Zone and flung into the depths of space. Cut to James and The Last Of The Americans on the horseshoe couch.)

TLOTA:
Oh before I forget, there is one cut that needs to be mentioned. It’s a fan cut and it needs to be recognized. (Cut to the few videos from Kathryn A. Ross of “Superman: The Movie” The Final Cut as James Faraci The Last Of The Americans does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
In 2019, Youtuber Kathryn A. Ross decided to take the best of all three cuts, improve the effects, cherry-pick the perfect deleted scenes, added them in then created what she called “Superman: The Movie: The Final Cut” and from what few scenes she posted on YouTube, this does feel like how The Salkinds and Richard Donner had in mind for the movie and she’s also doing “Superman II: The Final Cut” and I cannot wait to see the results. I hope that Warner Bros, Ilya Salkind, and Richard Donner get in contact with Kathryn to work out a deal for the movie to be released on 4K, Blu-Ray and Digital because from what I’ve seen, this may be worth a review.  (Cut to James Daniel Walsh & The Last Of The Americans as the two head for the front door)

TLOTA:
Thanks for coming and helping me with this one, Boss.

James Daniel Walsh:
Anytime, oh by the by send my best wishes to the rest of the team!

TLOTA:
You got it, boss. My love to you and the rest of the family!

Julia Alexa Miller (Audio only):
Wait! (Julia Alexa Miller runs in with a package)

Julia Alexa Miller:
A little something from me and James.

James Daniel Walsh:
What have we here? An invite for a party originally meant for April of last year and is now rescheduled for August. And what is this? (The Last Of The Americans grabs the DVD and James Daniel Walsh tries to grab it back and sees it’s a copy of “Fish Tales” starring Billy Zane.)

TLOTA:
Uh, I am sorry, this was meant for anyone else…

James Daniel Walsh:
I’ll be the boss to see if I will talk about it on “James Talks About DVDs”. Okay, you’re still in good graces on the site, no matter what.

Julia Alexa Miller:
Oh Really?! James, thanks for coming by. James Faraci, we need to talk. (Julia Alexa Miller grabs James by the Star and drags James Faraci The Last Of The Americans into his office. Cut to James looking on at the front door as the footage shakes and The Last Of The Americans scream in pain and James Daniel Walsh reacts to the shaking by running out the door as a powerful scream shakes the footage for five seconds. Cut to James Faraci The Last Of The Americans as he walks out of his office annihilated!)

TLOTA (High-Pitched):
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans! (James collapses on the floor. Cut to James Daniel Walsh as he looks in through the door and whistles the Superman theme. Fade to black)