I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours and welcome to another edition of"Connect The Plots" (Cut to a scene of James trying to connect certain things together like the theatrical version of "Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers" & "Halloween: H20", All the movie adaptations of Stephen King, Superman Returns to the original Salkind Superman movies, the first three X-Men movies to the newer ones and the "Wolverine" & "Deadpool" movies before cutting to James strapped down in a straight jacket all the while a kid sings "Connect The Plots La-La-La!" before panning down to see anything that might have a minor connection spell the words "Connect The Plots" before cutting to the title card of "Armageddon" as an instrumental of "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" play in the foreground and James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
As it has been stated repeatedly here "Armageddon" directed by Michael Bay has become a cult classic, a guilty pleasure of mine, and has probably the biggest honor the movie could get a place in the Criterion Collection! That is insane. While a lot of the science behind it doesn't compute, nor does the whole drilling a nuke to blow an asteroid sky-high make a lick of sense. To me, this is the definition of popcorn entertainment that somehow has stood the test of time, which is far more than a franchise he drove into the ground. (Cut to clips of the Michael Bay "Transformers" movies as "Transformers" by the band Lion play in the foreground and James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Michael Bay's first"Transformers" was such a hit that Bay hit the Lather, Rinse, Repeat on the plot five times until finally Paramount had enough and has decided to give Bay the boot, hit the reboot button with two movies, One I have seen in snippets and a new one coming soon. But believe it or not, as insane as being able to connect the "Halloween" "Thorn Trilogy" to "H20" & "Resurrection", I think I have found something that connects Michael Bay's five clunkers "Transformers" movies to "Armageddon" and it ain't Michael Bay. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And would you believe that it was the main antagonist of the movie "Armageddon" and it ain't Gen. Kimsey, Col. Sharp, or anyone like that. It is the asteroid! (Cut to clips of "Armageddon" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
First off, the exact starting point of the asteroid, Just where did in the depths of space did it come from, if anything, I think that asteroid came from Cybertron. What helps me think that is the material of the asteroid is that of compressed Iron Ferrite, however, there were other metallic elements that they couldn't quantify. They could've been elements from making both Autobots and Decepticons. I mean when their drill's first attempt tears up only a few feet in, that's more than just Iron Ferrite and it can't be any metal in the elemental table that we know. So no wonder it took them just until almost the ending of the movie to get to the eight hundred feet to get the asteroid to the breaking point. In addition, when the nuclear weapon goes kerblammo that couldn't have been good, acting as a signal to any of the Autobots & Decepticons that had been inactive on Earth to wake up and as a signal to any and all Autobots and Decepticons still lost to make their way to our planet! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
"But wait," you say, "How do you explain the fact, someone, mentioning the movie "Armageddon" In the first "Transformers" movie?" Well... (Cut to the first "Transformers" movie as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
I am willing to bet despite signing NDAs I have to think that either "Rockhound" who in "Armageddon" was played by Steve Buscemi or "Chic" played by Will Patton had hit some hard financial times after Harry died and of course Governmental interference causing both Stamper Oil and A.J.'s oil drilling business to close their doors and the two decided to use Nom De Plumes to get around the NDAs to tell the story about how a group of Oil Drillers became Astronauts who had to drill into the heart of an asteroid, drop a nuclear weapon to save all of humanity from dying. A couple of Hollywood execs read the story, commissioned a script and "Armageddon" becomes a movie making the duo financially stable. Of course, they would have PTSD once the Transformers made their presence is known, and long story short "Rockhound" or "Chic" realize what they had done may have been was a bigger mistake than letting the asteroid hit the earth. Plus there may have been some of the remnants of the asteroid that made it to the Earth that activated the inert Autobots and Decepticons, might have taken them a few years but when they woke up, our planet became the home of their war. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
But do we have "Armageddon" to thank for the horrendousness that has been not only the "Transformers" movies but I have to say the destruction of the career of Michael Bay? I think both were inevitable and "Armageddon" was not the cause of it. (Cut to clips of both "Armageddon" and the Michael Bay "Transformers" movies as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
To me "Armageddon" may have been the start of Michael Bay's Swansong towards what happened with the "Transformers" movies, it comes as no surprise what has happened with Michael's work. And while nine times out of ten I would hope for something better for someone and I do wish the best for Michael if he never escapes the downward spiral that most moviemakers suffer, he knows his career has come to its endgame. And for me, I'm fine with it. But at least I'm fine knowing I enjoy one of his movies. If you find one movie enjoyable as well, good for you. Me "Armageddon" was Michael at his commercial and critical popcorn fun. Everything else has been a sign for me to roll on out of the theaters. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and that's my opinion.
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