(Scene begins with a smartwatch screen and a finger as it taps the screen and the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand as it taps an app on his phone as it opens a portal.)
(It cuts to James and the characters he’s played until it cut to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans'” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun and the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces. The credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca and Nick Yaun” are shown then slides away to different images of Doug Yaun, Kyra Lee and Crosslyn Castillo and the characters they’ve played, until it cuts to their faces.)
(After that, the credits “Doug Yaun, Kyra Lee, and Crosslyn Castillo” are shown, as it then slides away to different images of Andrew Beach, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, and Olivia Horvath. Following this, the credits of “Andrew Beach, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” are shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays.)
(Everything becomes a swirl of reds, whites, and blues, as the credits “Produced by First Choice Entertainment Productions in association with Manic-Expression.com"; “Executive Producers: James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Olivia Horvath”; “Editing by Eric Kurtzke and James Faraci”; “Written and Directed by James Faraci” are shown, as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays.)
(We then see an image of James as he jumps through the portal and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a black background. Finally, the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays.)
(The Scene begins with James walking around in the darkness.)
TLOTA:
Oh great, alone again in a dark void where there is nothing out there and no one else to help! (The word “Help!” echoes for three seconds.) Hello? (The word “Hello?” echoes for three seconds.) (Singing): Hi on the hill, lives a lonely goatherd! (James listens for the echoes as it goes into the yodeling from the song “The Lonely Goatherd,” and James has a Moe Howard-esque groan of fear and a whisper of “You are here!” as James bumps into someone who is supposed to be dead!) Dante?! (Cut to the semi-demonized corpse of Dante Hicks as played by Brian O’Halloran.)
Dante:
What, you thought that my death would end with me in heaven?! HA! The human part of my soul went there, and you know, that little pussy part of me may be with Becky and the daughter that should’ve been mine, but that day when Hell erupts onto the earth or when Randal Graves dies! I will be there to grab him before any part of him reaches heaven, and I WILL torment Randall Graves for what he made happen to me! (Sounding less human as he continues) I WILL FORCE HIS SOUL TO BURN, AND HE WILL BE TORMENTED BY RELIVING LIFE THROUGH ALL THE HELL HE CAUSED TO ME AS ME! AND I WILL BE THERE AS RANDAL TRIES TO SCAM HIMSELF INTO HIS BELIEFS AND I WILL EAT ON HIM FOR EVERY LIE HE EVER SAID AND I WILL FINALLY DO WHAT “GOD” COULDN’T DO! MAKE RANDAL GRAVES FEEL EVERY SINGLE PAIN HE CAUSED THE WORLD! (Dante begins to laugh monstrously! Cut to James with a scared look on his face as he looks for something to use against the Semi-Demonic corpse of Dante Hicks, only to come up empty and swing away, to wind up taking a few steps as Dante disappears.)
TLOTA:
What the hell was that? (A motorized wheelchair is heard as it comes up to James.) Oh no not you! (Cut to James in the wheelchair, aged as old as his father but in worse shape.)
TLOTA (Older Self):
You don’t think that you could’ve avoided this! YOU NEARLY DID! BUT YOU WASTED YOUR LIFE AGAIN! That was always the problem: you wanted the goals you knew were impossible, but you went for it anyway, and look at where it got you! RIGHT HERE, WHERE WE WILL SPEND WHAT LITTLE TIME WE HAVE LEFT! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?! (The Older self begins to laugh, cough, and wheeze as he runs over James, and James begins to fall and lands right in his office. Cut to James at the door.)
TLOTA:
At least I can finally escape and.... (James’ hand swipes over the doorknob several times and he misses every time.) What the hell is going on?! (A voice echoes “This is where you belong!” as James cautiously returns to his chair and looks forward.) So, it appears I am stuck here, for now! (A voice echoes “forever!”) SHUT UP! So, until the others can get me out of here, let’s see what it is I can review! (James finds a physical copy of “Thunderbolts*: The New Avengers”) Let’s do it! (Cut to the title card of “Thunderbolts*: The New Avengers, then clips from the trailer as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Released earlier this year, “Thunderbolts: The New Avengers” did better than average for a MCU movie, which has been par for the course. But is the movie better than people thought it would be, or does everyone feel the same when it comes to the MCU that the magic is falling with a lack of quality that has been more prevalent with every new entry? (Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
So let’s get to it, I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, The views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours and this is “Thunderbolts: The New Avengers” (A Voice echoes “You will never escape!” as James sits there and he replies “Leave me alone!” and the voice says “You are alone!” and James shouts “SHUT UP!” Cut to “Thunderbolts*: The New Avengers” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
The movie opens as we’re introduced to Yelena Belova, AKA Black Widow II, played by Florence Pugh, as she feels as if she's alone. Her job is leaving her empty as she takes out a lab for the OXE Group, and she comes upon a program called "Sentry.” Meanwhile, we find Yelena’s boss, CIA Director Valentina Allegra de Fontaine, played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus (The ONLY actor not to be hit with the Seinfeld Curse), as she is in the middle of a hearing that could lead to her firing and winding up behind bars, as she tells Congress when the next earth bound supervillain, inter-dimensional/intergalactic big bad comes knocking and wanting to take us on guess what, there’s no “Avengers” to save our collective asses however Representative Congressman James Buchanon “Bucky” Barns, played by Sebastian Stan, is looking to make sure Valentina spends the rest of her life making big rocks into tiny pebbles. As that happens, we pick up with the Red Guardian aka Natasha and Yelena’s “Dad” for all intents and purposes, Alexei Shostakov, played by the second man to don the Hellboy suit David Harbour, has gotten a job as a Limo driver but when Yelena drops by Alexei tries to keep up the facade about things are good. But wonders if everything with Yelena is good, but Yelena tells Alexei that she’s thinking about quitting working for Valentina. Yelena tells Valentina that her next assignment is the last one, like the ones she’s been doing. (Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
That’s a good way to get fired and possibly arrested for you, Yelena. (Cut to “Thunderbolts*: The New Avengers” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Yelena finds herself in a mountain vault that doubles as a laboratory where she comes upon the following: Ava “The Ghost” Starr, played by Hannah John-Kamen, The Taskmaster, played by Olga Kurylenko, and John Walker, AKA Former Captain America, turned “U.S. Agent,” played by Wyatt Russell. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And if Wyatt Russell doesn't ring a bell, then allow me to see what happens when you toss Goldie Hawn and her long-time Beau Kurt Russell, then this is the result of the combination of the two. Neat huh. (Cut to “Thunderbolts*: The New Avengers” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Taskmaster is killed just as we’re introduced to Bob, played by Lewis Pullman. The others realize that they’ve been set up by Valentina to be killed off. When they discover this, there’s only one thing left to do: try to work together to get out before they get barbequed! As that happens, Bob touches each of them, and they see their worst memories. (Cut to James physically as static interferes and James says “Now What?!” as James relives some of the memories from his past failed relationships and his last date that ended with her drinking the bottle of wine and mixed with her sleeping pills to kill herself as it cuts to Paulo and Brenda Fonseca looking over the shadow where James was then handing the information to OR-HAC.)
Paulo Fonseca:
OR-HAC, what’s the latest on the void where James is?
OR-HAC (Audio only):
Based on the findings of your scanning device, James is now forced to remember the moments that broke him in the first place. His failures in a personal relationship, as well as the losses of his grandparents, his brother, his unborn nephew, and his father!
Kyra Lee Of The Lacustrian Pod:
I still say we sacrifice the evil ERod, The Blockbuster Buster, and James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, will re-emerge better than what the evil ERod, The Blockbuster Buster, was preparing James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, to be like. (Cut to Jessica Lopez-Barkl and Nick Lopez)
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
Okay, Time out. Can someone please pick us up so we can go back to Earth? What is going on? (Cut to ERod The Blockbuster Buster)
ERod The Blockbuster Buster:
I told you guys already! Earlier this year James needed help as he was getting his ass kicked by Hunter Deno from “Power Rangers Dino Fury/Cosmic Fury,” Crosslyn Castillo, and Elle Jimenez when they were possessed by spirits of Mermaids who held a grudge about how they were disembodied from their original forms, only to find suitable replacements in three people who looked like them if they were human! Linkara, who reviews Comic Books, Star Trek, Power Rangers, and Doctor Who has a big as hell spaceship with weapons that could wipe us out in space pointing down on us, and doesn’t uses it because of his deal with a Federal Agent, called me in as backup, when James’s associates in with a religious sect of Power Ranger fans failed to exorcise the spirits, and we were getting our asses kicked, one of them, don’t remember who said something that made James pull out an amulet and he began a chant, however James knew that using magicks like that can drain energy and just as he was about to fall, he was just in reach of my hammer and used it just enough for him to save Hunter, Crosslyn and Elle! However, he was still hurting from something that I heard about but didn’t know all the details, so I called him out as he was getting ready to “get through another year,” so he could move forward and reclaim something he had lost, his heart for the job! And I haven’t spoken this much exposition in my reviews back when I was actively busting bad movies, and when I do what I do now! And I’M NOT EVIL! (Cut to Nick Lopez and Jessica Lopez-Barkl)
Nick Lopez:
Wishing you didn’t know that now?
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
Yeah actually. (Cut to James as he comes out of that deluge a little worse for wear.)
TLOTA:
Okay, that hurt! (A voice echoes “Hurt is all that’s left for you!” and James replies “Go Away!” Cut to “Thunderbolts*: The New Avengers” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
After narrowly escaping the explosion, Valentina learns new information about Bob and hires a squad to capture him. Bob distracts the team so Yelena, John, and Ava can get away, and just as they escape, guess who comes to rescue them? (Show clip of Alexei as he pulls up in his limo in his Red Guardian Suit. Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
I don’t even have to play the clip! (A voice echoes “PLAY IT! and James says Fine! Cut to James in the Super Mario Bros. Movie review as the Maw-Ray is about to eat him, Mario, Donkey Kong, and James says, "Of Course!" Cut to “Thunderbolts*: The New Avengers” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
As that happens, Bucky gets told by Valentina’s assistant about what her boss is doing, so Bucky suits up and drops Valentina's death squad, doing his best Tom Cruise in the “Mission Impossible” Movies and badassery from the first two “Terminator” movies, and captures the four others for one purpose. To speak to Congress about Valentina’s Impeachment and make sure she is sent to prison for the rest of her life. (Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
But as one of my favorite Bill Murray movie titles go, “What about Bob?” (Cut to “Thunderbolts*: The New Avengers” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Well, as fate would have it, Valentina set herself up in a new place, the old Avengers Tower in Manhattan, and sure enough, much like the others when they encountered Bob, Valentina got a good look at where she was! (Show Valentina memory spliced with footage of Elaine from the series “Seinfeld.” Cut to James as he gets hit with memories of all the failures of his professional life, as it cuts to Paulo and Brenda Fonseca, Jessica Lopez-Barkl, and Nick Lopez, ERod The Blockbuster Buster, and Kyra Lee of The Lacustrian Pod.)
Kyra Lee of The Lacustrian Pod:
I still say we toss ERod The Blockbuster Buster into that void and be done with it!
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
No! If we toss him and it destabilizes it, we may be into something worse, and it might consume us!
Nick Lopez:
Now we have talked about this and exhausted all our ideas on how to stop it or get James out of there alive! Is there anyone else James trusts to help us?
Brenda Fonseca:
Well, there is his long-time friend, but I think he’s busy; he’s in California trying to break into the entertainment business. I just hope he’s not too busy! OR-HAC, Contact Rowdy!
OR-HAC:
I have sent him the relevant Data and the message; he should arrive in one moment. (Rowdy blinks in)
Rowdy:
So, what type of trouble is he in now?
Kyra Lee of The Lacustian Pod:
The evil one known as ERod The Blockbuster Buster tried to convert James to evil!
ERod The Blockbuster Buster and Rowdy (In Unison):
[ERod The Blockbuster Buster]: I’M NOT EVIL!
[Rowdy]: HE’S NOT EVIL!
Rowdy:
Besides, even good people can be assholes!
ERod The Blockbuster Buster:
Case in point! (Points to Rowdy)
Rowdy:
HEY! You didn’t have to point that out. (Cut to Kyra Lee of The Lacustian Pod)
Kyra Lee of The Lacustrian Pod:
The point is, ERod The Blockbuster Buster brought the evil out, and now we have to sacrifice ERod The Blockbuster Buster to rescue James Faraci The Last Of The Americans! (Cut to Rowdy)
Rowdy:
That sounds extreme for the situation. Look, let me look at what is going on. (Rowdy walks into the office and sees the void slowly getting bigger, and tries to get himself to take Rowdy. Rowdy quickly runs out, slamming the door shut.) I think we’re in trouble! (Cut to James looking a little more beaten down than before.)
TLOTA:
You’ll have to do better than that! John Wayne punched me in the mush, and I was out for a while, and I loved it when that happened! (A voice echoes “Love the pain!” and James replies “PISS OFF!” Cut to “Thunderbolts*: The New Avengers” as James does a voiceover. )
TLOTA (V.O.):
Valentina eventually helps Bob control the powers he had been given, just as Bucky is told about Bob and what Valentina did to him. So, the next stop is back at the old Avengers tower, where our heroes, now with Alexei calling themselves “THE THUNDERBOLTS,” enter and see what Valentina’s training did to Bob! (Show Bob now dressed as “The Sentry” and The Thunderbolts react to it. Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
Okay, points for the comic-accurate suit for “The Sentry,” but every word out of Valentina’s mouth makes me want to see her suffer an accident from the top of the building. (Cut to “Thunderbolts*: The New Avengers” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
The Sentry wipes the floor with The Thunderbolts, and when they see what he can do, they do the only thing they can do: get out of dodge. Feeling beaten down Yelena tells the others, it doesn't matter anymore however Alexei tells Yelena that she is important to him, that the time he was her daughter was some of the best and most importantly how badly he screwed Yelena, Natasha, and himself when he chose the country that sent him up the river because the government collapsed. While that moment was happening, Valentina chides Bob for not taking them out, but the powers that Bob has in him have made him cuckoo. Valentina’s assistant, who Bucky thought was malleable to his plans to get rid of Valentina, decides, “Eh, screw it, Loyalty to Valentina who will most likely toss me away for someone more spineless than I am.” (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Come to think about it, she looks familiar! (The room shakes and shatters back into the void as James turns around and sees the largest and most demonically looking Kayla’s High Face from the movie “Blockers” as she does the Judge Doom speech of “Remember Me Eddie, When I killed your brother, I talked JUST LIKE THIIIIIIS!” in a demonic tone before exploding and James shits bricks! Cut to everyone in James’ studio.)
Rowdy:
Are you sure this will work? (Cut to ERod The Blockbuster Buster)
ERod The Blockbuster Buster:
It has to! Each of you will grab a part of me above the waist, and on my back, I will take the power from the Ghostbusters Movie Pack that James has gotten together, and then I will touch it. We will all sport Ghostbusters gear and then go in, Proton Packs a-blazing, and we will defeat this void. (Cut to Kyra Lee of The Lacustrian Pod)
Kyra Lee of The Lacustrian Pod:
I still say that tossing the evil ERod The Blockbuster Buster or his hammer into the void might be the best course of.... (Everyone else yells, “SHUT UP!” Cut to ERod as he gets ready to grab the movies.)
ERod The Blockbuster Buster:
Alright, on the count of three, ONE! (Cut to Paulo and Brenda Fonseca as they grab ERod’s right shoulder and upper arm. Cut to ERod’s Face.) TWO! (Cut to Nick Lopez and Jessica Lopez-Barkl as they grab ERod's left shoulder, and Rowdy forces Kyra Lee of The Lacustrian Pod to grab the left side of ERod’s back, and Rowdy grabs the right side of ERod’s back. Cut to ERod’s face.) THREE! (ERod touches the “Ghostbusters” Movies, and a bolt of lightning courses through all of them. Cut to “Thunderbolts*: The New Avengers” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
However, what happened when she hit that kill switch was that it activated something in Bob called The Void! The Void has one goal: to absorb the world into the darkness and traumatic memories. Yelena figures the only way to save Bob and stop the void is to go in and confront not only her past as a Black Widow but also help Bob confront his demons, and believe it or not, the rest of the Thunderbolts are there to help Yelena in this matter! (Cut to James physically in the void.)
TLOTA:
Now that’s an impressive feat of Loyalty. (Cut to “Thunderbolts*: The New Avengers” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
The Thunderbolts eventually find Bob as he goes through his traumatic pains, including his time as a sign twirling methed up dude in a Chicken Costume. They also return to the lab in Malaysia, where Bob got his powers, and with the others incapacitated, Bob decides to face his darkness alone. Yelena sees that all Bob is doing is just feeding the darkness. While it takes all the strength to escape, Yelena breaks out of the confines. She reaches Bob to let him know that he isn’t alone in facing darkness, and together with Alexei, Bucky, John, and Ava, Bob successfully escapes the Darkness of the void, and with that, everyone gets ready to grab Valentina when... (Show clip of Valentina's news conference as she begins to lie through her teeth. Cut to James in the void.)
TLOTA:
NO! Don’t you dare say what you are about to say, Valentina Allegra de Fontaine! (Cut to the clip of Valentina calling the team that is about to arrest her “The NEW Avengers!” and the press enjoys it. Cut to James in the void as he shouts “GOD DAMN YOU VALENTINA ALLEGRA DE FONTAINE!” and punches and kicks in the void as it reverberates just as the team is in their “Ghostbusters” suits and proton packs. Rowdy pulls out his PKE Meter!)
Rowdy:
Uh-Oh! James is beginning to get angry!
OR-HAC (Audio only):
The Void instability is growing rapidly; unless you can get James out of The Void before the consummation of the building, it will be unstoppable. (Cut to “Thunderbolts*: The New Avengers” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Okay, while it didn’t end with Valentina in The Raft where she belongs, the movie ends with Yelena letting her know her ass belongs to the Thunderbolts/New Avengers, and of course, the obligatory post-credit scene. (Cut to clips of “Thunderbolts*: The New Avengers” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA:
So that was “Thunderbolts*: The New Avengers,” while it wasn’t bad by any means, it wasn’t a masterpiece like “Endgame.” There were plenty of great moments of awesomeness and great moments where the heroes were allowed to help them see that they are heroes, even if they’re not the first ones to call upon for help. However, I enjoyed a lot of the events that happened, and I enjoyed the character arc evolution for characters that were considered third-rate heroes. Since everyone missed it while in the theaters, I HIGHLY recommend this to you, watch it, and give it a second chance! (Cut to James in The Void as it begins to roar and becomes more physically harmful. Cut to ERod and everyone else as they open the door and start to blast the void with their Proton Packs as it cuts through, and the streams nearly hit James!) WILL YOU GUYS BE CAREFUL, I AM IN HERE BEING TORMENTED! (Cut to everyone else)
Rowdy:
JAMES?! Where are you?
TLOTA (Audio only with a distorted echo):
I’M IN HERE! (Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
And I am trying like hell to escape, though I don’t know why. Everything I’ve done, both good and bad, and I deserve to pay for it! Let’s face it, as much as everyone has tried to pull me out, this is where people who fail belong, in a void with all sorts of demons keeping me here, even though no demon has attacked me, just a voice within the void and the memories of my past. GUYS! (Cut to everyone else.)
TLOTA (Audio only with a distorted echo):
If you can hear me, I need a beacon to help me escape the void! One of you has to set your pack to capture mode, the rest of you have to put them to full dispersion mode, close angles. (Cut to ERod The Blockbuster Buster.)
ERod The Blockbuster Buster:
Hang on, I have an idea! Kyra, you’re about to see something close to what you want to see. JAMES! HAMMER INCOMING! (ERod tosses the Hammer into the void, and it shrieks in pain, and it flies, and James grabs it, and demons arise.)
TLOTA:
Okay, my past is something I live with, good and bad, but I won’t allow it to ruin whatever little future I have left. So let’s dance! (James ignites the hammer as the demons from his past begins to attack and James defends himself while “Ride The Lightning” by Metallica plays and the scene is intercut with the others hit the void with everything they’ve got until the 5:22 mark of the song as James is pulled out and everyone starts blasting the void with everything they've got and James grabs the ecto-trap and sucks the void in by the end of the song.) Well, that was an event! (James’ lapel tips begin to glow as an American flag appears on the right lapel, and the Blockbuster Buster Skull logo appears on his left lapel. (Cut to ERod The Blockbuster Buster)
ERod The Blockbuster Buster:
It is true! You are my successor. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
No! I can access the power of the Hammer when I need it, I’m an adjacent Blockbuster Buster, the power of the hammer and the title of The Blockbuster Buster still belongs to you!
ERod The Blockbuster Buster:
Are you serious? (James nods) Cool! (The powers of the Ghostbusters leave the others. Cut to Kyra Lee of The Lacustrian Pod)
Kyra Lee Of The Lacustrian Pod:
What just happened, James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
The power returned to the movies and pop culture they came from! (Cut to Kyra Lee of The Lacustrian Pod.)
Kyra Lee Of The Lacustrian Pod:
But from what I have seen from these recent adventures, I understand why Lacustrine felt I was incapable of being what you need from me, but now I know. I wasn’t meant to help you find your way back or help you find a new love in your life. Though you have plenty of people who are trying to help you, the problem is that you fear, and that leads you to seek a quick fix for everything. I am not a quick fix. I am Kyra Lee of the Lacustrian Pod, leader of the Moon ceremonies at the start and end of the moon cycles, summoner of tsunamis and hurricanes, and I can see there is no point in staying here. Know that a proper recompense from the Pod will come, until then, knowing that you do not fight evil, instead you try to reason with it, and then when it fails as it does, you fight it, and then in weakness, try to use evil against itself! I cannot stay. Goodbye, James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans! (Kyra Lee Of The Lacustrian Pod opens a portal and dives in, showing everyone for a brief glimpse of her in her mermaid form before disappearing. Cut to Jessica Lopez-Barkl and Nick Lopez.)
Nick Lopez:
Well, that was interesting, weird but interesting.
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
Well, if that is a sample of... Hey James, where are you going? (Cut to James as he walks away.)
TLOTA:
I need time to collect myself and figure out what the next step is. (James walks out of the studio as it cuts to Jessica Lopez-Barkl and Nick Lopez physically.)
Rowdy (Audio only):
Thanks for helping James out as best you could.
ERod The Blockbuster Buster (Audio only):
I know, but for every step forward, James regresses back to a point where he thinks he needs to be in order to restart the process again, and hope for a different outcome. How can we break this cycle and how can we get through to him? (Cut to James as he sits down on the fence overlooking the Neversink Reservoir and holds the last picture of Him and his family and friends and cast members from the series “Life As A Mermaid” and sits in remembrance of the few better days of his life as Jessica Lopez-Barkl and Nick Lopez sit next to him on opposite sides.)
Nick Lopez:
It’s very peaceful here isn't it?
TLOTA:
Yep, my dad brought me here when I was younger and we would fish until we caught our limits and then cooked them.
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
Can me and Nick ask you something and would you mind telling us the truth?
TLOTA:
Yeah.
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
Why do you still do this if you don't enjoy it?
TLOTA:
I still enjoy it, my heart is still in it but it doesn't have the same feeling it did when I started.
Nick Lopez:
You’re maturing and it means you are going to have to let go of certain things.
TLOTA:
I am.
Nick Lopez:
It’s just that in the time we knew each other when we were in the College, you’ve always been known to focus yourself on what needed to be done and never quit anything. (James, Nick and Jessica step back and walks around the viewing area of the Reservoir.)
TLOTA:
I don't know what to say to the both of you, I mean, why did 2019 end the way it did when I lost my brother, then in 2020 I lose my unborn nephew and father, then in a few year span I lose my professional reputation for quality when, against my will, I was a part of a talk show that became the worst thing I would ever put out on the net and then that pilot for that awful game show reboot which was worse and then I lose the last chance for love. I mean why didn’t I stand up for myself and tell Chad no even harder than I was and tell him that he shouldn't have done that. (Cut to Jessica Lopez-Barkl)
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
Chad was trying, and sometimes failures happen, that’s life and things don’t always work out! (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Well when you fail online, the whole world never lets you live it down. I mean why did I support those ideas when I knew they were duds! I should’ve known better, but I didn’t I was blinded because I wanted to have a relationship work while I was trying to succeed. You two know what I’m talking about. (Cut to Nick Lopez and Jessica Lopez-Barkl)
Nick Lopez:
We understand where you are coming from James.
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
The thing is that you try to damned hard for your own good to get there quicker than the rest of the world is allowing you to and maybe it’s not a bad thing. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Well waiting for something to happen doesn't mean much when you feel the way that I do. That when you wake up you feel like you’re a few hours behind already, and then you look in the mirror and see someone who is a lot older than where you are and the years you lost aren’t coming back. So things wouldn’t have been perfect for everyone else, SO WHAT?! AT LEAST IT WOULD’VE BEEN GOOD FOR ME! (Cut to Jessica Lopez-Barkl and Nick Lopez)
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
YOU HAD GOOD TIMES! (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
NOTHING GOOD IN MY LIFE LASTS IF I CAN’T ENJOY MY LIFE! AND WHEN EVERYTHING FALLS APART, I’M THE ONE HOLDING ON TO THE PIECES THAT EVERYONE FORGETS! (Cut to Nick Lopez and Jessica Lopez-Barkl)
Nick Lopez:
QUIT SHOUTING AND RANTING LIKE YOU’RE THE ONLY GOD DAMNED PERSON WHO SUFFERS FROM LIFE!
TLOTA:
I KNOW I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE! Except for the fact that I am the only one when it does happen, it ends up going to everyone else! (Cut to Jessica Lopez-Barkl and Nick Lopez.)
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
What is the truth James Faraci? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
WHAT IN THE SAMUEL LANGFORD HELL ARE YOU PUTTING ME THROUGH?! JESUS, MARY, JOSEPH AND HIS TECHNOCOLOR DREAMCOAT! You want to know the truth, the truth is I don’t know how much I have left to live and how much more losses I can deal with. I mean when I was a kid, my dad had a heart attack and it made me feel that neither he or I had much time left and then when recovered my childhood never did! But then my brother had his kids, I thought I had a second chance to have the life I should’ve had then he dies in 2019 and that must have expedited my other losses and now with everything falling apart and my crazy ass trying to hold everything I can keep together with whatever scraps of duct tape and crazy glue I have left, I’m just about out of time! (Cut to Nick and Jessica Lopez)
Nick Lopez:
Well what is it you have that you are trying to keep together? WHAT? You have a studio, a good team, you still have your friends and family! The only thing you don't have is the truth, WHAT IS THE TRUTH?! (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
I’M AFRAID! THERE HAVE YOU BROKEN ME DOWN ENOUGH TO HEAR ME SAY IT, I’m afraid! For the first time in a long time, I am afraid! (Cut to Nick and Jessica Lopez)
Nick Lopez:
And you think you’re the only one who gets afraid? The human race James, it gets afraid all the time! (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
There is a difference between them and me. The Human Race when they get afraid, they get stupider and stupider believing any false deity that will give them a quick fix instead of saying to them “Work is the best way to get it done.” Meanwhile, I am the one getting in the hard work. (Cut to Jessica Lopez-Barkl and Nick Lopez)
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
News flash you’re part of that same race that gets stupider and stupider as well. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Look, outside of being a college student, Uncle, Great Uncle, and an Internet reviewer, all everyone has ben saying is that I’m a conman, a liar, thief, piece of trash and because of all the wrongs I’ve done, I lost Julia Alexa Miller and I deserved it. (James turns to the sky) DOES THAT MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY?! THAT I ADMIT I’M NOT A HERO AND I DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED FOR EXISTING AND I DESERVED TO LOSE MY LAST CHANCE AT FALLING IN LOVE?! (Two hands turn James around as Nick Lopez and Jessica Lopez-Barkl slap him on both sides of his face.)
Nick Lopez:
JAMES BENJAMIN FARACI YOU DON’T HAVE ANY RIGHT TO FEEL LIKE THE WORLD IS AGAINST YOU, IT’S NOT!
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
And you want to say that you pay for the victories and the defeats and that good times never last? That’s BULLSHIT! But it doesn’t matter if I call it Bullshit or not because you have to carry the weight of the fear. The fear that things will never get better and that you blew your last chance! Get rid of it because when that moment you know is coming and that you can relax and smell the roses and enjoy the few golden years of your life and you still have that feeling that you failed so spectacularly that you can’t be you anymore and that will ruin that time. Look at what you are like now.
Nick Lopez:
Your friends believe in you,
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
ERod and Rowdy, they believe in you but you have to believe in yourself, not because you feel guilty for what you had to suffer, not because you want to prove that you are better than anyone else but yourself, but because you believe in yourself. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
And if I fail along the way? (Cut to Nick Lopez and Jessica Lopez-Barkl)
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
Then you get back up off your ass and fight harder.
Nick Yaun:
And you get better because you learned from it. (Cut to James as for the first time since August of 2023 he has a bit of a smile on his face.)
TLOTA:
Can I thank you guys? (Cut to Jessica Lopez-Barkl and Nick Yaun)
Nick Yaun:
Well since the college cut our departments, we have some work and a little extra wouldn’t... (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
You guys are in! (The three shake hands as the scene fades to black.)
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