Saturday, April 20, 2024

The Final "Strike Back"

(The Scene begins with the real James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, and his friends and associates fighting his digital doppelganger as the digital doppelganger holds his own.)

TLOTA (D):
Good attacks, but is that all you've got? (Cut to the real James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, as lightning comes shooting out of his eyes)

TLOTA:
Try this on, baby! (The "Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin plays as James hits his digital doppelganger, and everyone gets one good shot until the music ends.)

ERod The Blockbuster Buster:
It got away. (Cut to Rowdy)

Rowdy:
For now. (Rowdy and James hug it out like brothers) You scared the hell out of me! (Rowdy Will Smith Pimp smacks James) Don't disappear on me without telling me where you're going! (James and Rowdy smile as they hug it out.) And as for you, Stupidiot. (Rowdy walks up to Hiram Stupidiot) Thanks, though I must ask how you snapped James' team out of their hypnotized state. (Cut to a flashback to when Rowdy confronted Stupidiot and when he was working with the holographic James as Stupidiot does a voiceover)

Professor Stupidiot (V.O.):
When you came at me when you were pissed off like you had just heard they did a worst Ninja Turtles project outside of Abomination and the Michael Bay movies, I knew James was in trouble, he keeps me on retainer in terms of anything he needs, though he does keep me on a short leash when I am needed. I discovered how the AI Digital Doppelganger's signal was hypnotizing the team. I was able to encode the lost episode's footage with a reversal signal and thank everything scientific they were watching it. (Cut to Professor Stupidiot physically)

Professor Stupidiot:
I may be a maniacal mastermind who is out to take over the entire world but at least I'm a hundred percent human! (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
That's what I'm talking about. Right now, all of you will see what you can do to delete that digital demon. Before I forget, Chad, Alex is gone; she's never coming back, and you broke the terms of the deal, so you're fired. (Cut to Chad Narducci)

Chad Narducci:
What? Alex is gone, and I'm fired?! You can't do this to me! I MADE YOU! I MADE ALL OF YOU! WITHOUT ME, THERE WOULD BE NO INTERNET REVIEWERS! ALL OF YOU OWE ME! (Cut to Chad being tossed out on his ass with all his stuff after getting the crap beaten out of him. Cut to James opening up a panel revealing a set of new devices and everyone in Team TLOTA going towards James.)

TLOTA:
Rowdy, Guys! Grab your power drivers.

Rowdy:
Power Driver?

TLOTA:
I've got to avoid copyright claims, so I've created my own version of the screwdrivers and given them the generic title of Power Driver.

Rowdy:
Works for me! What are you... You're going to work, aren't you?

TLOTA:
Yep, hit the intro!

(Scene cuts to a smartwatch screen and a finger as it taps the screen and the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand as it taps an app on his phone as it opens a portal, and it cuts to James and the characters he’s played until it cut to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans'” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun and the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca & Rebecca and Nick Yaun” is shown and it then slides away to different images of John Ross and Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, and Ed Champion as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “John Ross Santos, Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion” is shown as it then slides away to different images of Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath and the credits of “Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” is shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites, and Blues as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions" “Executive Producers: James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Eric Kurtzke, John Ross Santos, Mike Santos, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion & Olivia Horvath” “Editing by Eric Kurtzke and James Faraci” “Written and Directed by James Faraci” are shown as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an image of James as he jumps through the portal and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a black background, and the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays. Cut to James in his office)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and the views I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. Before I was so quickly and rudely interrupted, I wanted to do one more review of Kevin Smith's that ended with a happy ending because endings like that are getting so small. Any win is better than nothing. (Cut to the title card of "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back," then clips of the trailer as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Released in 2001 and originally meant to be the final movie for the duo. "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" is the perfect middle finger on an industry that just seems to reward the incompetent, the bland, and, quite honestly, the dumbest of human existence instead of allowing new blood to flourish. The ones that could change the industry are made into bad jokes (Cut to the clip of Hooper as he says, "It's like watching "Batman and Robin" again. Cut to clips of the movie as James does a voiceover.) And today, we celebrate it for the middle finger it is to Hollywood and the system that keeps new talent down and rewards its stupidity. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Let's not waste any time saying, "Ho, go to hell, Hollywood!" as we watch "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back!" (Cut to "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
The movie opens with the obvious Star Wars reference as we see Baby Jay, played by Brian Andrew Saible, and Baby Silent Bob, played by Harley Quinn Smith, in her first big role, as they meet outside a little place called the Quick Stop & RST. We then dissolve and cut to our heroes, played by Jay Mewes and Kevin Smith, in the present day as they start selling wares and talk about one of the greatest songs written, "Jungle Love" by Morris Day & The Time, I'm sure this won't be set up for the ending. However, this interrupts Randal's attempt at watching the 1980's classic "Clash Of The Titans." We soon find Dante, played by Brian O'Halloran, at his post at the Quick Stop when Jay's customers decide to harass the two. This harassment finally pushes the two to call the cops and file a restraining order, kicking the two out of their usual hangout place. Licking their wounds, they wind up at Brodie Bruce's Secret Stash, and it's here that Brodie tells the two that the comic book based on them and mentioned in "Chasing Amy" is becoming a movie. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And no one told Jay and Silent Bob because... (A ding is heard as the words "It's Hollywood. Why would they care about doing things in the normal legal way or the legal right way?!") thought so!(Cut to "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Armed with this knowledge, they confront Holden, played by Ben Affleck, as he tells the two that he sold the rights to Bankie and then shows the two the Internet and one site in particular, Movie Poop Shoot that shows that Friday is when the movie officially begins production and since it was Miramax producing it, they were going to use Ben Affleck and Matt Damon due to their academy award win thanks to "Good Will Hunting." However, what gets Jay and Silent Bob pissed off is the fact that people on chat boards are talking smack about the characters based on the two of them. With a three-day countdown from that day, they first see that post and a brief fourth wall break, which will happen a few more times in this movie; Jay and Silent Bob head out to Hollywood. The two hit the road as they meet a hitchhiker, played by the late George Carlin, who tells them about the unwritten book of rules of the road. After that, they meet with a nun, played by the late Carrie Fisher, and mistake the good book for the book they were just told about. Jay tries to go for something in the unwritten book, and the two are thrown out. Later, the two meet with a certain gang with a certain dog, and apparently, this movie forced the writers of another movie about this gang to tone down their humor, especially when Jay breaks out the Doobie Snacks! (Cut to the moment the gang hops up on the ganja, and the dog says, "Hi Ray & Rilent Rob! Tee-Hee-Hee!" Cut to "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
The two knocked out, the hipster suggests the usual (Cut to the "Shag" as he says, "Let's cut out their kidneys and sell them on the black market and leave the two in a seedy motel bathroom filled with ice." Cut to James physically as he looks disturbed at what he just heard. Cut to "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
After that "WHAT IN THE FLYING HELL WAS THAT?" moment, the two stumble upon a Mooby's as they come up to an Internet hot spot, and they decide to let those who have ruined their reputation and read all of them the riot act. This won't come back at any point. Just as the two get ready to get back on their journey to stop the movie, Jay meets the woman who will change his life forever. (Cut to the intro of "Justice" as played by Shannon Elizabeth. Cut to "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
 This is Justice, played by Shannon Elizabeth, as she is stopping off for some food for herself and her friends Missy, Sissy, and Chrissy, played by Eliza Dushku, Ali Larter, and Kevin Smith's wife, Jennifer Schwalbach Smith. Justice tells her friends that Jay and Silent Bob will ride with them, and Brent, played by Sean William Scott, joins in this strangely familiar-looking van. Sissy tells Jay and Silent Bob they're members of a college group in Kansas called Students Against Animal Cruelty, or SAAC for short, and they're on their way to Colorado to deal with a lab to stop their animal experimentations. However, one move by Brent sends Jay into a silent rage, and he quickly concocts a way to give Brent the heave-ho! (Cut to the moment in which Jay calls Brent a Sheep Shtupper and tosses him out, screaming, "Now who's stupid, you dirty sheep fucker!" Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Can't wait until he does this with any offspring he may have and saves from Knuckleheaded Cluckers! (Cut to "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Justice talks to Jay about what led them to be here, as Jay's conscience, two devils, and an angel keep him from pulling out his Wienerschnitzel. At a stop, Silent Bob, being the gentleman he is, helps the others out of the car. Sissy, Chrissy, and Missy rip into Justice for Jay and Silent Bob tossing Brent out of the van and then forces Justice to convince Jay and Silent Bob to take Brent's place. Jay thinks it's about stealing a monkey and doing it to get him some Justice, the person, not the concept. That night Sissy sets Jay up for a further fall by opening up about the Clitoris. (Show the clip of Jay talking about the Clitoris. Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Well, I... no, I have no experience like that at all. (Cut to "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Much like in "Mallrats," Jay and Silent Bob use the Batman Utility Belt, Grappling Hook, and Cable to get into the Animal testing lab while Justice, Sissy, Chrissy, and Missy decide to rob the Colorado Diamond Exchange literally just down the block from the Lab! (Cut to James physically as he pulls out a meter)

TLOTA:
The Coincidence meter is going off the scale! (Cut to "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Jay and Silent Bob grab a tranquilizer dart gun with Animal Tranquilizers and then find an orangutan named Suzanne! Meanwhile, Justice, Sissy, and Chrissy nearly pull off the heist when something Jay said earlier causes Chrissy to fumble it big time. (Show the clip of Jay saying, "Fast Food makes Girls Fart." Cut to the moment Chrissy does her flips and then rips one, and the word "WHOOPS!" happens as the noise alarm goes all the way up. Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
The silent approach having gone down in farts, the three just smash and run, rig an explosive to blow the van sky high, and get out of dodge. Meanwhile, Jay and Silent Bob grab the Orangutan and get out of dodge when Silent Bob tells in his own way that the job ain't done yet.  (Show the clip of the animals escaping the lab, Jay and Silent Bob running with the orangutan as the police show up and the van blows up, with Jay seemingly thinking Justice has died. Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
The best part of that moment was when the choir sang about the sorrow of Jay and Silent Bob. Sadly, the worst part is just around the corner. (Cut to "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
The next morning, with Jay and Silent Bob on the run, we soon find the biggest misstep in this movie, Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly (Unenthusiastically chuckles), played by Will Ferrell. He comes in to make the orangutan's abduction the important business, not the diamonds that were taken next door. And, of course, Sissy's video tells Willenholly that Jay & Silent Bob were the ones that were the masterminds behind everything. Meanwhile, Jay & Silent Bob somehow make it to Utah. Jay and Silent Bob react to the fact they have an orangutan, and the orangutan reacts to Jay and Silent Bob's existence. Jay comes to the most outrageous conclusion about Suzanne. (Show Jay as he thinks that Suzanne is the ape to lead to the Planet Of The Apes as he has the Charlton Heston "Taylor" rant screaming, "You maniacs! DAMN YOUSE! GOD DAMN YOUSE ALL TO HELL!" Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Yeah, because it was the ape you took is the one that would lead to the end of humanity. (Play the clip of Robert Wagner saying “Oy Gevalt” in “Austin Powers In Goldmember” Cut to "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Jay and Silent Bob then return to the road to stop the Bluntman and Chronic movie. However, Marshal Willenholly hits the news circuit with Jon Stewart as Marshal Willenholly lets Utah know that Jay & Silent Bob are in their state. We get cameos from Dante, Randal, and Holden looking at what Jay and Silent Bob are now. As that news goes on, Justice lets the others know that she's starting to feel bad for Jay and Silent Bob while the others decide that they don't feel anything and decide to have their nasty way with the Pizza guy, and guess what he's one of the reasons "Spider-Man: One More Day" happened. After Justice's lament, the sheriff's department is led by Judd Nelson (Cut to James physically as he says, "And according to Jay and Silent Bob "He's Harsh!" Cut back to the movie as James continues his voiceover) and Marshal Willenholly adds nothing to the moment except stupidity. Want to know how much? Jay and Silent Bob take a kid's clothes, put it on the orangutan, and get away only briefly! (Cut to Marshal Willenholly as he discovers one minute too late that they let Jay and Silent Bob out and the two of them fleeing the law, then to the rest of the scene as James does his voiceover.) Jay and Silent Bob find themselves in the same situation Harrison Ford was in "The Fugitive." As the two are trapped, Suzanne, the smartest of the characters, gets Jay And Silent Bob out of Harm's way as Marshal Willenholly decides to take the quickest route to his end! (Show the clip of Jay calling out Willenholly as he stops screaming momentarily to say "Hey" and then to Jay taunting the guy and Willenholly screaming, "OH FUCK ME! AAAH!" plummeting to his supposed death. Cut to the movie as James continues to do his voiceover.) Suzanne is taken by a group looking for animals for movies as Silent Bob finally snaps at Jay. (Cut to Silent Bob shouting, "THE SIGN ON THE BACK OF THE CAR, SAID " CRITTERS OF HOLLYWOOD!" YOU DUMB FUCK!" as the echo reaches James in his office.)

TLOTA:
Hmm, heard you twenty-plus years later there, Silent Bob! (Cut to "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Meanwhile, by an act of the devil, Marshal Willenholly survives a fall of a dam and gets Jay and Silent Bob's message from the Poop Shoot message board. Jay and Silent Bob make it to Hollywood and discover another drug dealer named Pumpkin Escobar, played by Tracy Morgan, and they're all unionized. (Cut to James Physically)

TLOTA:
Yes, the people who supply us with Cocaine, Heroin, and all sorts of illegal Pharmaceuticals are unionized. When I suggest it to my fellow content creators and internet reviewers, Everyone thinks I should be institutionalized! If I were in any other condition, I'd be breaking out the good stuff! (Cut to "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):TLOTA (V.O.):
We get cameos from Steve Kmetko and Jules Asner, who worked on E! News then. Justice sees Jay and Silent Bob outside the Miramax studios as they almost get past Diedrich Bader. Of course, we get the usual interlopers trying to deal with movies. Jay and Silent Bob get onto the set of "Good Will Hunting 2" as we discover Ben Affleck has himself a murdering hookers fetish, and then are reunited as we see the orangutan on the set of the latest "Scream" sequel. Our heroes then decide to punch that shit and land in the center of coincidence and circumstance as they meet who's actually playing them in the Bluntman & Chronic movie. Jason Biggs from "American Pie" and James Van Der Beek, who was Dawson in "Dawson's Creek." The Orangutan kicks Biggs and Van Der Beek, so they get arrested, and Jay and Silent Bob wind up as their comic book alter egos in the movie directed by Chaka Luther King, played by Chris Rock; we then soon begin filming as we see the villainous Cockknocker played by (Show clip of Mark Hamill standing there and the words "Hey Kids, It's Mark Hamill! (Applause)" are shown. Cut to James as he applauds it. Cut to "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
A battle breaks out, and Chaka thinks George Lucas will sue Miramax for this as Marshal Willenholly finds himself on the set of a Mooby's episode and puts Mooby out of its misery. Meanwhile, we see another "Strike Back" reference. (Show the clip of Mark Hamill losing his hand and then looking into the camera and saying, "Not Again!" Cut to "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Willenholly eventually makes it to the set to arrest Jay and Silent Bob just as Justice arrives to tell the Marshal, Jay, and Silent Bob about the stolen Jewels and then how Jay and Silent Bob were being used as patsies just as Missy, Sissy, and Chrissy decide they're not going down like that and a fight breaks out. In the middle of the fracas, Jay and Silent Bob meet with Bankie to stop the movie so people can stop talking smack about Jay and Silent Bob or get their money. Of course, Bankie being a douche, even during the days of "Chasing Amy," doesn't give a rat's ass about stopping the movie or forking out the dough. However, Silent Bob tells them about how he's in breach of the contract, and Bankie is willing to settle before the lawyers get involved; just rightly timed out is how the battle between Justice and Sissy ends with a superkick that knocks out Missy and Chrissy! (Cut to the moment in which Marshal Willenholly is patting himself on the back for being a good shot when a stray bullet hits him, and he drops dead. Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Okay, it was wish fulfillment, but think about it, no Will Ferrell, no really bad acting, and irritation from his performances! (Cut to "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
No, instead, Marshal Willenholly is tranqed by the Orangutan, and Justice surrenders the diamonds and her former cohorts to Willenholly, and that somehow gets him in the FBI as a Marshal; okay, the movie's wrapping up at this point, so now with the issue of the movie and the diamond thieves wrapped up, Jay and Silent Bob decide to find who has been bad mouthing Jay and Silent Bob and the movie ends with the premiere of "Bluntman and Chronic Strike Back" with characters from all of the View Askewniverse basically slamming how bad the movie was even Bankie was embarrassed by it except for FBI Marshal Willenholly and the movie ends with Morris Day & The Time singing "Jungle Love" spliced with a blooper reel and end credits. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And, of course, this post-credit scene. (Show post-credit scene from “Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back” as“God” as performed by Alanis Morrisette as she closes the book on the View Askewniverse, does her little dance, bows out, then cuts to James physically) 

TLOTA: 
And that was "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back," A perfect movie to watch today. (Cut to clips of  "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" as "Jungle Love" by Morris Day & The Time play in the foreground James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
To me, Watching this is the perfect thank you and fuck you to Hollywood that it needs. The story is your typical road trip comedic adventure movie with references to other movies and self-referential references to their own movie's universe that help keep the movie funny and relevant. This was Kevin Smith's biggest and best movie for a long time. If this had ended the View Askewniverse, it would've ended on a great high note. If you have not seen it, do yourself a favor and watch the other movies and "Good Will Hunting" to get a sense of what you're getting into. Watch it to let Hollywood know what you think about what it has done with your favorite movie franchises. (The footage is digitally turned into bits and pieces and then used to reconstitute the Digital Doppelganger of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans.)

TLOTA (D):
I'm not the enemy; I have been doing your job so efficiently that you can kick back and get the other projects done. (Cut to The Real James Faraci The Last Of The Americans)

TLOTA:
At what price, the Quality? Actual Independent Thought? I saw the footage of what you did to my friends while I was on my journey, and the fact that you could work them like that? I may have them do more than they should, but I also pay them overtime for that devotion and give them extra time to recoup from working with me! You drained their life out (Power Rangers Communicator beep is heard). Talk to me.

Professor Hiram Stupidiot (Audio only):
James, the hologram, has reconstituted itself and is gaining more power. With Rowdy's help, I am close to finding the solution. He is working on a total deletion program.

Rowdy (Audio only):
It should be ready in one minute. (Cut to the Digital Doppelganger.)

TLOTA (D): 
James, you can have what you want. You can have her and the future with her if you want. (Cut to the real James as a digital hand of Julia Alexa Miller touches him, and he feels it. Cut to the Digital James.) James, if you delete me and all that I can give you, you will destroy your future. (Cut to the real James as he looks at the digital Doppelganger of Julia Alexa Miller as "Batman's Destiny" from the 1:25 to the 1:48 mark plays)

TLOTA:
My future had its chance (Cut to the Digital James as his fake smile turns into an angered look as "Batman's Destiny" from the 1:49 to the1:56 plays and then cuts back to the real James Faraci The Last Of The Americans) Rowdy, Stupidiot, when you're ready, Barbeque the Uncanny James Faraci The Last Of The Americans! (The digital doppelganger screams in pain and is slowly deleted with lightning arcs surrounding the digital doppelganger's demise in a painful fashion screaming "NO!" as he is being deleted, then ultimately is destroyed being sucked into a void of no escape; the scene cuts to the real James as the digital Julia Alexa Miller disappears like dust in the wind and James Faraci The Last Of The Americans sits in his office, knowing he is alone and will stay that way forever. as "Batman's Destiny" from the 1:57 to the 3:04 mark. Cut to sometime later as we see everyone packing up the last of Julia Alexa Miller's work as Rowdy walks away to check on James Faraci The Last Of The Americans. The scene cuts to James on his phone and looking over everything in his office and, in a moment of remembrance, cries as he sees a pic of himself with his family in 2018 and James happy with Julia Alexa Miller and the cast and crew of "Life As A Mermaid." then cuts back to James sitting down as there's a knock on the door.)

TLOTA:
It's open! (Cut to Rowdy as he walks in and sees the differences since the destruction of his digital doppelganger.) 

Rowdy:
Wow, not that many photos of you and Alex left are there. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Nope, I failed her, and now I am paying the price. I've decided to allow myself to use dating apps if I want a long-lasting relationship. (Sighs) Rock meet bottom! I was going to announce my engagement to her. That was the only other surprise I had when I announced why I had brought everyone together. Now, there's not even that to get everyone together; I'm also canceling the vacation event. Financial issues are why it's not happening, and I am allocating the funds to pay for the rest of the team to take a long overdue break and extra overtime. They more than earned it, and I can relate; I can barely put up with myself for a limited amount of time; I'll never know how she put up with me for that long. (Cut to Rowdy as he looks at James)

Rowdy:
James, I know that life will never work in our favor. Just because there's a curveball doesn't mean it's the last at-bat for you. You're still doing what you do best, and what you're doing is really good. (Cut to James.)

TLOTA:
The numbers barely justify the rent and the bills for the place. That lost review has now become the equivalent of a review of "The Wall" done by Chicago Schmuck, and all my future projects are scrapped; worse, I'm now trending on X with everyone who knew me calling me as evil as either Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler and every other face of evil right now. My career is in the toilet, my personal life is a joke, and perhaps retirement is the only way out of my professional and personal misfortunes. (James sits down and cries as he thinks about it. Rowdy walks up and sits to talk to James face-to-face.)

Rowdy:
James, I've been doing "TV Trash" with only a few years' difference, and I understand why we should call it a career. But we should be doing it on our terms. As for failing in a personal relationship, I'm an expert; that's why I gave up on it for the sake of my career. James, if you need to take a break, then take it. If you want to call it a career, then do it. If you think you're still going down the same path that schmuck is going down, then stop. Find a new path, and hope you will have your desired happy ending. Think about it. (Rowdy stands up and walks away, and it cuts to James sitting there, knowing that he is stuck and there's nothing left for him as the scene fades to black.)

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