(Scene begins with James having a chair to sit down to and a camera to talk to.)
TLOTA:
I am James, The Last of the Americans and here we go, the final round and apparently the writer from the last one was tired and wanted to participate and not write the last one unless he was given a chance to direct the final one. And who knows maybe it’s better than the last one he was involved in. (Cut to the title card of “The End Of Mankind” then clips of “The End Of Mankind” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
And now we see where the effort and originality from the last one should’ve been. But will this be the ending we deserve or the one we take and use against the writer for all he did wrong! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
We’ve got to get started because something is off, I can feel it. This is “The End Of Mankind” (Cut to “The End Of Mankind” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Our final adventure opens as we see a tear in the night sky and most of humanity wiped out in a “Days Of Future Past” event that no one stopped. Apparently, one of the Schmuck’s associates went Rogue or Hollywood, and before you know it, WHAM! Instant Apocalypse, just add every trope possible. We soon find the Schmuck battered and beaten by time as he and a few of his living associates find a device that can send one of them back to stop what had happened; however, in a “Wacky” scenario, instead of landing in his own past self, he winds up...Elsewhere! (Show clip of HFG looking at herself and knowing she has a schmuck inside her! Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
It’s funny; he thought he landed in his earlier self but wound up in a fan girl, humor! Oy gevalt! (Cut to “The End Of Mankind” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
However, the fan girl helps the schmuck out. The fan girl suggests that they go and try to convince one of them, and it just so happens to be... OH, COME THE FLYING FUCK ON?! HIM?! HE, WHO RIPPED OFF “THE DAY OF THE DOCTOR”, HE THAT NEARLY SENT EVERYONE IN HIS FIRST ADVENTURE BACK INTO THE PAST FOR GOOD! Well, now he has a team to keep him in check, so let’s see how things are with him as the Fan Girl Schmuck combo hits him with the news about her holding the schmuck’s energies. After a moment of testing, James is convinced, especially when the news talks about someone named Senator Michaud and a bill called “The Internet Protection Act” and Caliverti. While looking at something behind the picture. James starts putting 4&8 together. With no other option, James decides to call everyone in on this. However, the one dressed in Black is swapped for his dark doppelgänger. While that happens, Senator Michaud begins a dark plan. Back at James’ place, everyone has gathered. The Fan Girl steps into a device that shows what in the hell happened. (Show a clip of The “Schmuck Of The Future” as he shows and tells what has happened. Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
So what happened when our current world leaders decided to drop the bombs! (Cut to “The End Of Mankind” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
With a Paradox rift to deal with, a traitor in their midst, and the Government hot dogging them to go away. Everyone stays with James for a couple of days until James comes up with a plan, thanks partly to Linkara keeping in contact with his Spaceship. James decides to have Linkara and some of their own, and James also suggests that some others that they go with the doppelgänger, which couldn’t have been better timed as the Government comes in full force to either arrest or kill the remaining people with James. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
As if things weren’t tricky enough, now they're up a new creek without a paddle. (Cut to “The End Of Mankind” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
As the one dressed in black is rescued from being in a refrigerator, he goes on a mission to fix the mess. Meanwhile, James’ message has hit everyone else. Linkara takes charge of the mission before them with no idea what to do next. After that and a moment between Schmuck and the Fan Girl Schmuck, James and the others left his studio in the woods, licking their wounds. But not for long; we’ve got a brief training montage that ends quickly as James has a plan of attack. Which just so happens to go on the attack, FINALLY! However, Linkara isn’t going to help being attacked by the doppelgänger. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Anything else you want to throw our way? (Cut to “The End Of Mankind” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Well, how about the fact that Senator Michaud has been influenced by evil and before we know it, a brawl that rivals one of the biggest backroom brawls in Pro-Wrestling history. James tries to get the mildly injured out of the way when he gets into the fracas. And even the schmuck takes a shot and is supposedly killed. One of the people who came in late into the mess stays behind to save everyone they can rescue until the Ship crashes into the Senator and destroys everything. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
You know, for wanting to stop the bad stuff from happening, you suck! (Cut to “The End Of Mankind” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Everyone left soon sees the world reborn until one event causes time to stop. Feeling WHOLLY responsible for everything, James decides to kickstart time by sacrificing himself and the events he caused to be erased, especially a moment he knew shouldn’t have happened altogether. The relationship he had with Lea Michele. Meaning that James sacrificed his love, AGAIN, for the sake of the time-space continuum. And that’s how it ends! With James alone again, personally, and his adventures continuing unabated. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Let’s hope he never gets the financial assistance and professional courtesy of his peers to let him get into another adventure. (Cut to clips of “The End Of Mankind” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
And that was “The End Of Mankind,” and what an ending it was better written and acted than the one before this one, giving everyone breathing room to have a purpose. I also have to admit that there are moments that I still enjoy. But if any of these adventures remind anyone of the past events of the schmuck, then by all means, avoid this and the other two like the plagues they are. (Cut to James as he reaches out when a crack opens, and James is pulled out, and the audio from the ending of his review of “Hitch” plays as James shouts, “I’M JAMES FARACI, THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS, AND I AM WORTHY! AND IF ANYONE HAPPENS TO BE LISTENING AND YOU HAVE ANY KIND OF PROBLEM WITH THAT. (Echoing): TO HELL WITH YOU!” and the entire place falls apart and shatters to black!)
