Sunday, December 12, 2021

The Last Of The Americans 2021 Holiday Gift Guide

(Cut to James pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 then cut to James jumping down a cliff from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci landing in Santa's sleigh and fully morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans Christmas mode with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with Christmas Trees on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Black Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James and Santa riding with the 12th Doctor and Clara at the 0:13 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:14-0:17 show Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun as the two run after the Grinch before cutting to John and Mike Santos baking cookies before cutting to the 0:17-0:19 mark as it shows Paulo & Brenda Fonseca popping in A Muppets Christmas Special on a player before cutting to the 0:20-0:28 mark as we see Eric Kurtzke, Ed Champion, Andrew Beach and Olivia Horvath decorating as it cuts to the doors outside of James' space and time machine as the 0:28 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James stands on top of his Time and Space device and tosses a candy cane then cuts over to multiple clips from the past six years of "The Last Of The Americans" Christmas reviews/top 12s as the Candy Cane flips end over end as the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words "The Last Of The Americans" on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground. Cut to James in his office)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours and it's December, got my Santa hat on, and my list of gifts that are budgeted at $100.00 which will be stretching every last penny. The is "The Last Of The Americans Holiday Gift Guide" for 2021. 
(Cut to James and Team TLOTA in their Pajamas as they come rushing to the Christmas Tree and see different items they wanted and cleaning up as the camera turns to see in the Wrapping Paper shrapnel "The Last Of The Americans Holiday Gift Guide" slide wipe to James in Cooking gear and walks to a toaster oven and around the Kitchen in the Studio.)

TLOTA:
Now, this I like, this is a multifunctional toaster oven by aimpire. It has an air fryer function that works on making Garam Masala, a dehydrator function that is best without the heat, it makes great jerky and dehydrated fruits, a baking function that works amazingly on small 
pizzas and for toasting small amounts of oatmeal which we go through here like nobodies' business. I like the broiler function to cook a very well done Turkey Burger, or if I feel a little naughty, I cook a hamburger with bacon in no time flat, and the toasting function is perfect for bagels because, for me, the open-cut side is the side that looks best when toasted. I also enjoy making fresh pasta with the Shule Electric Pasta Maker Machine with Motor Set Stainless Steel Pasta Roller Machine. While making the dough is manual, the results speak for themselves in terms of quality pasta and how fresh the stuff tastes. (James takes a bite of the pasta) Molto Bene! Now the sauce while starting off in a can, but the smooth texture came from this bad boy, The Hamilton Beach 2-Speed Hand Blender. Two speeds, easy to clean, and when it is done with sauces, it makes great smoothies and milkshakes. Now I know what some of you are thinking. Is there anything that breaks the budget? Well, no, but in the long run, it is worth it. This is a Foodsaver Vac-packer; this helps keep meats, veggies, and baked goods fresher. The links to these devices are in this paragraph above, and instead of lumping movies together this year, I will recommend some movies throughout this guide. There will be Five best movies for the Holidays from this year for purchase at the end of the guide.  But let's start off with something different, and while yes, the holiday mentioned in these movies will have passed by like the eight nights in a flash, well, they're still awesome. (Cut to clips of "The Hebrew Hammer" & "Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights" as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Yes, Hannukah, or as it is pronounced "Channukah," will have LONG since passed by the time this post is out; I feel that these movies are great, even "Eight Crazy Nights" and they highlight a holiday miracle and in case anyone wondered where I got the idea for Linkara to go Supersaian in his Rant in my 2017 Power Rangers Movie, well now you know. (Cut to the Jewish Guilt scene intercut with Linkara ranting about everything in The Last Of The Americans "Power Rangers" (2017) movie as it then cuts to James saying WHEW!)

TLOTA:
As it has been since last year, mental and physical health have been significant. This is the best app I have been using is CALM, and what it does helps train your mind to relax in the most stressful of situations and given my vocation and my return to education, stress has been plentiful fortunately this has helped me keep my sanity. As well as talking to family members thanks to this add-on to a Smart TV Add-On. This is the Facebook Portal TV, I can contact friends and family and I can even do something that has been gaining traction online, Virtual Table Reads. What it implies in the title is that a group of people from different parts of the country are coming together to read scripts from movies either the finished drafts or unused drafts. Here is an example, Alexa, play "The Last Of The Americans VTR" (The VTR of "The Last Of The Americans: The Movie" plays in the background)  As you can see, I'm one step closer to the actual event I want to thank Kent Lilly for splitting the cast load until the actual event can happen. Did I just break the fourth wall on this gift guide?  Whatever but still I have to help out with the physical end and guess what I got myself into a resistance band workout and to get into it, I got, of course, Resistance bands. (Cut to James as James does a workout with the resistance bands.) And what really helps is the lessons I take with me from DDP yoga, Which I still do. Whew! When we come back, games for my niece on the Nintendo Switch and I will show you the site where you will see the return of a local legend in 2023! 

(James shouts as he flings back to the wall and yells "OW!" Fade to black. Cut to the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words "The Last Of The Americans" on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground. Return to the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words "The Last Of The Americans" on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground. Fade to James as he and Chad are trying out games on the Nintendo Switch.)

TLOTA:
Welcome back to The Last Of The Americans 2021 Holiday Gift Guide (James grunts as he loses.) As you can tell, I've been getting my backside handed to me testing games for my niece's Nintendo Switch and the first game we've tested is the Smash Bros. Ultimate for the Nintendo Switch and Chad here has been taking me to town. 

Chad Narducci:
Yeah! How do you like me now?! ( A kid's voice says "HEY!" as James' niece Vivian walks in and takes the controller from her uncle.)

Vivian Lee Faraci:
Let's dance, Mr. Narducci!  (Cut to clips of Super Mario OdysseyMario Kart 8 DeluxeJust Dance 2022, and other Nintendo Switch intercut to Vivian beating Chad at the games. Cut to a clip of RetroMania Wrestling as Chad's Tommy Dreamer gets pinned by Vivian Lee Faraci's "Warhorse". Cut to Chad as he drops his controller and begins to cry, scream and act like a baby. Cut to James and Vivian Lee as they see Chad cry and act like a baby)

Vivian Lee Faraci:
He works with you? Mr. Narducci, you need to grow up.

TLOTA: 
Yeah kiddo, you're right! But what do you think of these games?

Vivian Lee Faraci:
They're cool, but I'd like to try some more board games. 

TLOTA:
Okay! (Cut to James, Vivian, and John Ross & Mike Santos as they ready a board game) Ah... Trouble, the best thing about this game is the popper die in the center of the board!  Usually, there are four players which is a good thing, a little confusing but still, this is fun. You have to go around the board once and the first person to get all four of their pieces in a row is the... 

Vivian Lee Faraci (Off-Screen):
I WIN

TLOTA:
Winner, Good game Lovebug! Let's meet up with The Fonsecas and Yauns shall we? (Cut to Brenda and Paulo Fonseca as they go up against Nick and Rebecca Yaun and James walks towards them.)

TLOTA: 
My niece takes on the winner and two of you. This is Sorry, where like Trouble is to get all your pieces to the goal after going around the board. (Cut to Vivian as she plays, loses a game then beats the pants off of the others in three more games.)

Rebecca Yaun:
Geez, I would've thought that not being around board games that would've made it easier for us to win at least once against you.

TLOTA:
Well, Little Miss Vivian is a board game queen!

Chad Narducci (Off-Screen):
Oh yeah? (Cut to Chad Narducci as he has five games set to try and win against Vivian Lee.)

Chad Narducci:
Try these on for size. I've got Monopoly, a game where you win by getting your opponent's money, get a head start on businesses and deals and real estate. I've got "Guess Who?", You have to quickly discover who I am on my board, then there's "Battleship", you have to guess where my ships are and sink them quickly, Then there's "Scrabble", make the most powerful words and get the most points. Finally, there's UNO, the first person to have emptied their hand before the others. The question is to both Vivian and James. Are...You...Ready? (Cut to James and Vivian as they nod to each other and then beat the pants off of Chad in Monopoly as James and Vivian force Chad into bankruptcy and James makes it rain Monopoly money. Cut to Vivian, Julia Alexa Miller, and James beat Chad at Guess Who in ten seconds. Cut to see Vivian as she sinks the last ship in "Battleship" on Chad's board. Cut to Vivian, James, and Olivia Horvath as they beat Chad in Scrabble, Chad hits the table and the Scrabble tiles spell out "OW!" as it cuts to James, Vivian Lee, Chad, Olivia Horvath, Renee Miller, John & Mike Santos, Ed Champion, Andrew Beach, Julia Alexa Miller, Paulo, and Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca, and Nick Yaun as Vivian have one card left and as she lays it down for the win, James and the others being gracious losers congratulate Vivian's crafty win except for Chad Narducci.)

Chad Narducci:
I've lost! I've lost bad, I LOST TO AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD GIRL!  (Chad kicks the archway and hops on one foot and falls out the door and down the steps. Cut to everyone looking as James calls an ambulance. Cut to the Ambulance as Chad is taken to a local hospital and everyone walks in)

TLOTA:
Despite the fact that Chad is a sore winner and loser, these games are fun and available at the links above. Now let's check out some more Christmas movies that deserve more recognition. (Show clips of Christmas All Over AgainLast ChristmasChristmas with the Andersons, "Holiday In Handcuffs", "Christmas in Boston", and "A Merry Friggin' Christmas" as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
While some of these movies aren't that great, there are a few diamonds in the rough that need a little more Christmas polish and the best part of "A Merry Friggin' Christmas" is of course the late Robin Williams and how this was one of the last movies he ever made. If you get the chance, then I strongly suggest you check these movies out, they may help you look a little deeper for the Holiday spirit that is still in us. (Cut to James in a construction site.)

TLOTA:
Believe it or not, where I am standing is where a lobby for a movie theater in my hometown of Liberty, NY stood. I remember watching movies like "Toy Story", "Aladdin" and even "Batman & Robin".  However, time moved forward, and not helping was the fact Asbestos was used in the construction of the building, and in 2005 this theater was closed for good it seemed. However, what surprised me is that there would be rumors of this theater coming back or the building being used for some purpose. Finally, after getting some financial allocation the Village of Liberty Theater has had all the Asbestos removed and is being remodeled. How do I know that? (The camera pulls back to see James under the Village Of The Liberty Theater Marquee.)  I am here right now, looking at the bottom of the Marquee and I am going in to see what is going on! (Cut to James as he walks around the theaters as they're being renovated and the screens restored to their glory as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
As I stand at what used to be one of the theaters that I watched some movies of my youth and the first "Pirates Of The Caribbean" movie, seeing the lines from fans of both the Star Wars prequels and the Harry Potter films were images that still play in my head as I stand here. Now knowing it will be returning and knowing I won't have to schlep three hours just to watch a movie in theaters then come up with a review as I come home. By 2023 I will be able to see movies quicker and be able to come up with "Clipless Reviews" of movies or even be able to come up with more honest movie reviews that were fresh from watching them. I am also hopeful of something better happening, like the possibility of a Sullivan County New York Film Festival. While I know it's not going to happen soon, I am thinking ahead to seeing some more life come back into the community I've lived in and loved all my life. Just knowing that makes me feel better about my future endeavors. (Cut to James as he walks back into his studio as he comes back with a minorly injured Chad Narducci and places him on the couch.)

TLOTA:
Just take it easy. You good? (Chad nods "Yes") Cool! Party will start in an hour. (Cut to James in his office.)

TLOTA:
Now before I finish up, I am going to go over ten movies from this year that actually should be on your Christmas list, even if you've seen them in streaming or in theaters. (Cut to clips of certain movies as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):

10) "Zack Snyder's Justice League"
While it is slightly different from the one I reviewed a few years ago, it is better somewhat because it was what Zack had in mind for the DC Movies. While yes I will never wholly enjoy the current movies under the DC Cinematic banner, this feels like a "Sorry the movie you saw sucked and hope this is better in your taste. And for an early Christmas present, There will never be an episode of "The Different Cuts" on either version of "Justice League"

9) "Marvel Studios' "Black Widow"
While the backstory behind Natasha Romanoff's story was sprinkled in areas in the MCU already, seeing these chapters as she began and where she was between "Captain America: Civil War" and "Avengers: Infinity War" and what the future for the new "Black Widow", Yelena Belova played by Florence Pugh, has in store and what Valentina played by Julia Louis-Dreyfuss is going for.

8) "Batman: The Long Halloween" Pts. 1 & 2
When a masked vigilante is out to kill the mobsters of Gotham City, it's up to Batman, Harvey Dent, and Commissioner Gordon to figure out who is behind these crimes. While people have some idea as to what goes on, the twists and turns in the story are amazing, One other thing everyone might like on The Blu-Ray Copy of Part 2 is the two-part Batman TAS episode "Two-Face" those episodes still remain some of the best the series has to offer. 

7) "Mortal Kombat" (2021)
I've gone over the pros, cons, story, acting, and everything else in September. A lot of great performances, and hopefully a start to a better "Mortal Kombat" movie series than the ones done in the 1990s However you may need to find a secondary movie to fill out the night because this movie's run time is short by most modern movie watchers standards.

6) "Free Guy"
Ryan Reynolds plays "Guy" a non-playable character who thinks his world is real until he discovers his life is in an MMO video game and he becomes an instant Icon in the video game world. Now he has to fight to save his world from the developers and the people who want to see the game destroyed because of "Guy"'s popularity. Under different circumstances, this movie would've been bad! But to me, I enjoyed every second of it

5) "Robert Kirkman's Secret History Of Comics"
These two Blu-Rays in one tells six stories of unknown comic book history, From the history of Marvel and how Stan Lee got more successful as a Comic book Maestro, "The Trials Of Superman" which told the story of how Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster have tried to reclaim the rights of Superman and how the two fell into poverty and how it took Neal Adams to help get them a pension plan and the bi-line as the creators of "Superman" and how even after they've passed their estates have been trying to get the rights back from DC. The very unsavory history of the creator of "Wonder Woman" and how it took a lifetime to get her back to her roots, the impact of what 9/11 did for comics, and the stories of both how Milestone Comics showed people of color as great heroes like Superman and Captain America and Image Comics and how they became the comic book company of the disaffected and how they had to grow from their early days which is still fodder for Linkara especially with the works of Rob Liefeld. If you are a comic book fan, then I strongly suggest you get it.

4) "Jungle Cruise"
Yeah, let's get this out of the way, this was Disney's attempt to test the waters in the "Indiana Jones" adventure series based on their ride, I have to say this is one of Dwayne Johnson's better movies in the past few years. I loved the action, adventure, and comedy. This really does have great talent behind its fluffy exterior.

3) "DC's Injustice"
Based on the Comic Book/ Video Game storyline, this tells a tale of Superman as he loses town, his wife and unborn son then finally his morality as he offs The Joker who set off the chain reaction that would show the end of The Justice League and where the world would stand in which the heroes we've known are fighting not for the sake of what is legally right or morally right. They're fighting to save themselves from themselves and the world must decide where to stand. With the heroes who have done what is legally wrong or with those who have done morally wrong. I truly did like this movie, however, the one downside is the extras on the Blu-Ray. I was expecting the two-part episode from the Justice League in which the Justice League of our earth would have to take on the Justice Lords. Other than that there's nothing really awful about this movie.
 
2) "Cruella"
Telling the origin of Disney's biggest villains in their animated history, everyone wrongly thought that this was a rip of the DC "JOKER" movie. When it takes more from "The Devil Wears Prada" and feels more original, dark, and psychological without having to be having us think maybe we were better off with the devil we know in control. I also talked about this last month and I want to again thank Steve Kidd for helping with the writing in the review. I will go deeper in on the Top Ten Best Moments of "The Last Of The Americans" of this year

and at the number one spot
1)"Marvel Studios' Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings"
Shang-Chi must stop his father and the group of martial arts terrorists known as The Ten Rings from unleashing a mystical beast of darkness kept in a mountain in Ta Lo and redeem the family that he left after going into exile. When I first heard of this movie, I was intrigued. Now that said this is a great follow-up to "IRON MAN 3" as we discover what happened to Trevor Slattery since that movie and a follow-up short that came out years before this movie. Now having said that XU WENWU, yes, there is an orange called Mandarin but Tony, take it away. (Cut to the clip as Tony works the Crime Scene Recreation and tells the definition of "THE MANDARIN" in "Iron Man 3". Cut to James in his office)

TLOTA:
Before I sign off until my top ten moments of the year, I want to again highlight someone, but this time there are two people I want to highlight I still consider them both my friends, compatriots in this vocation, and these guys I still call my brothers. Stevie "The Media Whiz" Swigart and Gus Webb "The Nostalgia Kid". (Cut to clips of all of Stevie's work on YouTube and episodes of The Nostalgia Kid" as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Let me start off with Stevie and his work. Now there have been a couple of times where I volunteered to help him out. However, his best work has been some of my personal favorites such as his 30's Guy talking about The Three Stooges or when he highlights lesser YouTube stars that deserve some recognition and had been doing so for a LONG time. And earlier this year as I was taking it easy, Stevie left a post saying "Goodbye" and that scared the hell out of me, everyone close to Stevie tried to DM him, a mutual associate of mine called in some local help and I prayed he was alright. Thankfully he was and I made a promise to be a better friend, however, I screwed up and if me highlighting him can mend some bridges I hope I do right by him. Now onto The Nostalgia Kid. He may have started off sounding like a knockoff of a certain meshugginah schmuck from Chicago but over the years he has found his own voice and has become such a better reviewer than I can ever be and much like how things between me and Stevie went downhill this year, so did things between me and him however he has also gotten something else that he has been working on "Drive-In Mutants" with James "Jamietud" Sullivan and several others. It's like MST3K and RIFFTRAX on a weekly Twitch Stream and seeing the reruns this is funny on levels, not even MST3K & RIFFTRAX has reached yet. If you haven't checked them out, then I suggest you find them on YouTube, Vimeo, and other video sites. They're just the right people in the business to call friends. (Cut to James physically in his office)

TLOTA:
Well, I hope... (A Knock on the door.) One moment. (James goes to the door and Vivian is there) What's up. (Cut to James as he and Vivian see Chad with the Lego Classic Collection.) What the literal definition of Heck is going on!  (Cut to Chad)

Chad Narducci:
It's simple, She builds a better set up and I... (Cut to an hour later as Chad is dressed as a baby and is the center of attention) cannot believe this is happening. 

TLOTA:
What did you expect? My niece is a master at Legos as much as she is a master at board games. Now let's do this Chad, we've got a minor celebration that I can do within the Covid boundaries. This stinks for you, but imagine having to change your diapers, and that's my job! Oh Well, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and see ya next year!  (Cut to James as the party begins to wind down and James cleans up and James readjusts his suit, changing the shirt to a Casual Long Sleeve Shirt with the American Flag on the top of the chest as Julia Alexa Miller knocks on the door.)

TLOTA:
It's open. (Julia Alexa Miller walks in as James closes the last button on his shirt.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
New Shirt?

TLOTA:
Well, The fans weren't liking the shirt, felt I was being a Captain America knock-off. 

Julia Alexa Miller:
Well, 2022 is coming up so will we FINALLY get everyone together and tell them what you had planned.

TLOTA:
If nothing else goes wrong, then I say we do it! (Cut to the American Flag as the ending music from "Batman Forever" plays as Paulo and Brenda Fonseca, and Rebecca and Nick Yaun in their cars, John Ross and Mike Santos ride on their bikes, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion, Renee Miller, Eric Kurtzke, Chad Narducci, and Olivia Horvath as they zoom through on their rides as it cuts to James and Julia Alexa Miller in the Time-Space Device as they drive forward from the flag into the great unknown. Cut to a black screen as it says in white letters. "To Be Continued... In "The Last Of The Americans: The Movie" coming soon!")

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