(A Bolt of lightning strikes as the date "October 13, 2019" is seen. Cut to when Vincent Van Ghoul as played by Steve Kidd is uncomfortably close to James)
Vincent Van Ghoul:
Oh thank the moon and stars, I have spared you from the curse.
Oh thank the moon and stars, I have spared you from the curse.
TLOTA:
What curse?
What curse?
Vincent Van Ghoul:
The Curse of this bad movie, every copy that is out there I put into the chest of demons because they are made from different pieces of the 13th ghost. This piece if unleashed will find the others and the curse will be unleashed.
The Curse of this bad movie, every copy that is out there I put into the chest of demons because they are made from different pieces of the 13th ghost. This piece if unleashed will find the others and the curse will be unleashed.
TLOTA:
Okay, but what happens if all the pieces were brought together? Wouldn't that make the 13th ghost and bring it to life as well and unleash his curse?
Okay, but what happens if all the pieces were brought together? Wouldn't that make the 13th ghost and bring it to life as well and unleash his curse?
Vincent Van Ghoul:
You know, I never thought about that! (Julia Alexa Miller walks in with two mugs of Warm, Spiced, Apple Cider)
You know, I never thought about that! (Julia Alexa Miller walks in with two mugs of Warm, Spiced, Apple Cider)
Julia Alexa Miller:
About what? (Vincent turns around and James accidentally opens up the case as the scary/dramatic music used in the 1980's Scooby Doo series is played before slamming to black and James says "OH, POOPIE!" Cut to a DVD Case seen from above at a slight angle slowly rising to reveal the cover of the DVD of "Scooby Doo And The Curse Of The 13th Ghost as the opening music of "The 13 Ghosts Of Scooby-Doo" Plays)
About what? (Vincent turns around and James accidentally opens up the case as the scary/dramatic music used in the 1980's Scooby Doo series is played before slamming to black and James says "OH, POOPIE!" Cut to a DVD Case seen from above at a slight angle slowly rising to reveal the cover of the DVD of "Scooby Doo And The Curse Of The 13th Ghost as the opening music of "The 13 Ghosts Of Scooby-Doo" Plays)
Vincent Van Ghoul (Voiceover):
This is a warning to all living Scooby Doo fans, that whomsoever opens up this DVD case shall unleash the 13th and final curse upon the face of the earth! (Cut to James as he grabs the DVD Case, it explodes and James does a Wilhelm Scream. Spirits and evil beings are unleashed as James, Olivia, Rebecca, Nick and Julia Alexa Miller run away from them. Show, John, Mike, Andrew, Ed, Renee, Paulo & Brenda run from another demon as two ghosts named "Michaud" and "DougnRob" stand as a demonic steamroller comes barreling towards them!)
This is a warning to all living Scooby Doo fans, that whomsoever opens up this DVD case shall unleash the 13th and final curse upon the face of the earth! (Cut to James as he grabs the DVD Case, it explodes and James does a Wilhelm Scream. Spirits and evil beings are unleashed as James, Olivia, Rebecca, Nick and Julia Alexa Miller run away from them. Show, John, Mike, Andrew, Ed, Renee, Paulo & Brenda run from another demon as two ghosts named "Michaud" and "DougnRob" stand as a demonic steamroller comes barreling towards them!)
Michaud (Played by Johnny Berchtold):
Let's get 'em DougnRob!
Let's get 'em DougnRob!
DougnRob (Played by Nick Slimmer):
I'm with you Michaud! (The demonic steamroller flattens them as they scream. Cut to a black screen as a Crystal ball comes up with an image of Vincent Van Ghoul on it and everyone at Team TLOTA looks)
I'm with you Michaud! (The demonic steamroller flattens them as they scream. Cut to a black screen as a Crystal ball comes up with an image of Vincent Van Ghoul on it and everyone at Team TLOTA looks)
Vincent Van Ghoul:
Only YOU can return the curse to the case! (Spark cut to James and Team TLOTA as James holds a Sonic Screwdriver and shouts "WHY ME?!" and Vincent replies "Because you let it out!". Cut to demons as they surround the team. Cut to Team TLOTA as they gasp in fear. Cut to more demons as James jumps up and screams in fear as a shadow covers everything. Cut to the darkness being stuffed back into the DVD Case and James sighs an "Oy". The DVD Case glows as Vincent Laughs Cut to a black background with and blood spelling "The 13th Curse Of The Last Of The Americans" and Vincent saying The Thirteenth Curse Of The Last Of The Americans. Fade to black Cut to still photo of James getting blasted by a mystical beam as the music from the title card of "The 13 Ghosts Of Scooby-Doo" is heard and the words "The 13th Curse Of The Last Of The Americans" written by James Faraci. Cut to James as one second after the DVD case is open as James forces it closed!)
Only YOU can return the curse to the case! (Spark cut to James and Team TLOTA as James holds a Sonic Screwdriver and shouts "WHY ME?!" and Vincent replies "Because you let it out!". Cut to demons as they surround the team. Cut to Team TLOTA as they gasp in fear. Cut to more demons as James jumps up and screams in fear as a shadow covers everything. Cut to the darkness being stuffed back into the DVD Case and James sighs an "Oy". The DVD Case glows as Vincent Laughs Cut to a black background with and blood spelling "The 13th Curse Of The Last Of The Americans" and Vincent saying The Thirteenth Curse Of The Last Of The Americans. Fade to black Cut to still photo of James getting blasted by a mystical beam as the music from the title card of "The 13 Ghosts Of Scooby-Doo" is heard and the words "The 13th Curse Of The Last Of The Americans" written by James Faraci. Cut to James as one second after the DVD case is open as James forces it closed!)
TLOTA:
Whew, Ave Maria! What just happened? ORAC, scan for any unusual energy signatures.
ORAC (Audio only):
Whew, Ave Maria! What just happened? ORAC, scan for any unusual energy signatures.
ORAC (Audio only):
According to the past several seconds a large energy pulse has come from the DVD Case you're holding.
TLOTA:
Enough to say bring the parts of a demon back together?
ORAC (Audio only):
Fortunately no, but enough of a pulse to summon followers of the demon enough to grab the Chest Right now. (James hits an alarm as the scene cuts to outside as a cult of people take possession of the chest. James shouts "HEY!" off screen as Team TLOTA take an action pose)
TLOTA:
Get out of the yard! (Cut to the Cultists and Team TLOTA as they collide. Cut to Team TLOTA as they look like they've gotten their collective backsides handed to them and James has an ice pack on his junk)
TLOTA:
Nice try guys and I mean it, you did your best.
Vincent Van Ghoul:
And if that was your best then it was putrid! They took the chest, they took your DVD, and even worse they have your lady friend, Alex I think is her name. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Well do your voodoo that you do so well to find out where the Chest and Alex are and I'll do my voodoo! I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours! (Cut to the different incarnations of "Scooby-Doo" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
"Scooby-Doo" is as far as I'm concerned an animated legend. His popularity has never wavered and he always seemed to be in the right place at the right time to put masked criminals away with his friends Norville "Shaggy" Rogers, Fred Jones, Daphne Blake and Velma Dinkley. This also set a template for Saturday Morning cartoons in the 1970's. A group of teens and their pet would see something supernatural, discover the mystery behind it and unveil the mastermind behind it. The multiple series starring the series by the mid 1970's the people in charge of the series felt the series needed something fresh so they added a new character. A nephew of Scooby's named Scrappy-Doo (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Now before I get a ton of messages and comments, Yes, I hated how they bastardized Scrappy in the first live action movie and yes I liked Scrappy up until then. I also wanted to say that yes I know I just defended Scrappy Doo. I await the worst from you. (Cut to the opening of "The 13 Ghosts Of Scooby Doo, then to clips of "The 13 Ghosts Of Scooby Doo" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
By the mid 1980's the series was going to get a new twist with "The 13 Ghosts Of Scooby Doo". The series had new characters in "Flim-Flam" and Vincent Van Ghoul played by the awesome Vincent Price. The plot was simple after accidentally opening up the legendary "Chest Of Demons" Scooby and Shaggy, Daphne, Flim-Flam, Scrappy must find a way to put the demons back where they came from. And for my money there's a reason that both the show is in my must watch on Halloween list and that the show is underrated, while it got a DVD release a few years ago, it never got a proper finale. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And for the record what I just saw... I'm still waiting! (Cut to the title card of "Scooby Doo and the Curse of the 13th Ghost. Cut to Clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
UGH! WHAT DID YOU DO WARNER BROTHERS? THIS WAS BASICALLY GIFT WRAPPED FOR YOU! HOW THEY BOTCHED THIS MAKES ME WONDER IF THEY ACTUALLY TRIED OR CARED TO DO NOT ONLY THIS MOVIE JUSTICE. WHAT THE LITERAL DEFINITION OF HELL? (Cut to James in his office)
TLOTA:
We've got no time to waste.
Vincent Van Ghoul (Offscreen):
Actually we're out of time! (Cut to Vincent Van Ghoul at James' office door)
Vincent Van Ghoul:
I know the location of the Chest and that of Alex, We must leave now! (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Fortunately, I can go mobile and do my review this is "Scooby Doo and The Curse of the 13th Ghost! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
The movie begins as we are reintroduced to Vincent Van Ghoul voiced this time by Maurice LaMarche and to his credit he does ninety-five percent approximately sounds like Vincent Price but when he doesn't, you can tell. But I digress, Vincent and his assistant Mortifer played by Nolan North are after the 13th and final ghost to the Chest of Demons. Umm, ex-squeeze me, I hate to be the bearer of Continuity but the people in the town that held the Chest Of Demons were the ones who captured the Ghosts and got cursed to becoming werewolves for it, Oh well, a minor continuity flub I'll let pass. Anyway Vincent and Mortifer are attacked by ghostly assistance to the demon. After our opening credits which quickly go through all of the episodes "The 13 Ghosts Of Scooby Doo", we are soon introduced to the Scooby gang. Fred and Scooby played by Frank Welker, Daphne played by Grey Griffin, Velma played by Kate Micucci and Shaggy played by Matthew Lillard as they're on a stakeout in yet another mystery when the cops apparently beat them to the punch and give them the option either be arrested or retire. The next day as they sell off their equipment and collectables. Except for when a Crystal Ball activates and Vincent calls the gang saying he's found the 13th ghost. (Show clip of Daphne admitting she never told them about the Chest Of Demons or the 13 ghosts. Cut to James in winter gear at the top of a mountain)
TLOTA :
A-are you (Shallow breaths) K-k-k-k-k-kidding me? Y-y-y-you never told Fred or Velma what happened? I'm freezing on top of a mountain freezing my Sonic Screwdriver off and You never told them? Daphne, YOU ARE A DUMBASS!
Vincent Van Ghoul:
Well she may have been a dumbass as you so less than eloquently put it but you were dumber for not taking the lift, like I did to make it here. Anyway I sense the Chest inside.
TLOTA:
And I sense Alex, let's go!
Vincent Van Ghoul:
Wait, What about a plan?
TLOTA:
I'll have a plan set up when I warm up inside that temple!
TLOTA:
Let's count the puns and see if there are too many puns in it! (Show clip of Vincent using his creepy puns and a counter going "Ding" for every pun. Freeze on Vincent as he asks if there were too many puns as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
FOUR! THAT'S FOUR PUNS! THAT'S FOUR PUNS TOO MANY NOT ONLY FOR ONE STATEMENT! THAT'S FOUR PUNS TOO MANY FOR VINCENT VAN GHOUL! (Cut to Vincent and James)
Vincent Van Ghoul:
Well there's a simple...
TLOTA:
SHUT UP! IT WASN'T GOOD WHEN GOSEI TRIED TO USE IT AND IT SURE AS HELL ISN'T GONNA WORK HERE!
TLOTA:
Enough to say bring the parts of a demon back together?
ORAC (Audio only):
Fortunately no, but enough of a pulse to summon followers of the demon enough to grab the Chest Right now. (James hits an alarm as the scene cuts to outside as a cult of people take possession of the chest. James shouts "HEY!" off screen as Team TLOTA take an action pose)
TLOTA:
Get out of the yard! (Cut to the Cultists and Team TLOTA as they collide. Cut to Team TLOTA as they look like they've gotten their collective backsides handed to them and James has an ice pack on his junk)
TLOTA:
Nice try guys and I mean it, you did your best.
Vincent Van Ghoul:
And if that was your best then it was putrid! They took the chest, they took your DVD, and even worse they have your lady friend, Alex I think is her name. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Well do your voodoo that you do so well to find out where the Chest and Alex are and I'll do my voodoo! I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours! (Cut to the different incarnations of "Scooby-Doo" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
"Scooby-Doo" is as far as I'm concerned an animated legend. His popularity has never wavered and he always seemed to be in the right place at the right time to put masked criminals away with his friends Norville "Shaggy" Rogers, Fred Jones, Daphne Blake and Velma Dinkley. This also set a template for Saturday Morning cartoons in the 1970's. A group of teens and their pet would see something supernatural, discover the mystery behind it and unveil the mastermind behind it. The multiple series starring the series by the mid 1970's the people in charge of the series felt the series needed something fresh so they added a new character. A nephew of Scooby's named Scrappy-Doo (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Now before I get a ton of messages and comments, Yes, I hated how they bastardized Scrappy in the first live action movie and yes I liked Scrappy up until then. I also wanted to say that yes I know I just defended Scrappy Doo. I await the worst from you. (Cut to the opening of "The 13 Ghosts Of Scooby Doo, then to clips of "The 13 Ghosts Of Scooby Doo" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
By the mid 1980's the series was going to get a new twist with "The 13 Ghosts Of Scooby Doo". The series had new characters in "Flim-Flam" and Vincent Van Ghoul played by the awesome Vincent Price. The plot was simple after accidentally opening up the legendary "Chest Of Demons" Scooby and Shaggy, Daphne, Flim-Flam, Scrappy must find a way to put the demons back where they came from. And for my money there's a reason that both the show is in my must watch on Halloween list and that the show is underrated, while it got a DVD release a few years ago, it never got a proper finale. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And for the record what I just saw... I'm still waiting! (Cut to the title card of "Scooby Doo and the Curse of the 13th Ghost. Cut to Clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
UGH! WHAT DID YOU DO WARNER BROTHERS? THIS WAS BASICALLY GIFT WRAPPED FOR YOU! HOW THEY BOTCHED THIS MAKES ME WONDER IF THEY ACTUALLY TRIED OR CARED TO DO NOT ONLY THIS MOVIE JUSTICE. WHAT THE LITERAL DEFINITION OF HELL? (Cut to James in his office)
TLOTA:
We've got no time to waste.
Vincent Van Ghoul (Offscreen):
Actually we're out of time! (Cut to Vincent Van Ghoul at James' office door)
Vincent Van Ghoul:
I know the location of the Chest and that of Alex, We must leave now! (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Fortunately, I can go mobile and do my review this is "Scooby Doo and The Curse of the 13th Ghost! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
The movie begins as we are reintroduced to Vincent Van Ghoul voiced this time by Maurice LaMarche and to his credit he does ninety-five percent approximately sounds like Vincent Price but when he doesn't, you can tell. But I digress, Vincent and his assistant Mortifer played by Nolan North are after the 13th and final ghost to the Chest of Demons. Umm, ex-squeeze me, I hate to be the bearer of Continuity but the people in the town that held the Chest Of Demons were the ones who captured the Ghosts and got cursed to becoming werewolves for it, Oh well, a minor continuity flub I'll let pass. Anyway Vincent and Mortifer are attacked by ghostly assistance to the demon. After our opening credits which quickly go through all of the episodes "The 13 Ghosts Of Scooby Doo", we are soon introduced to the Scooby gang. Fred and Scooby played by Frank Welker, Daphne played by Grey Griffin, Velma played by Kate Micucci and Shaggy played by Matthew Lillard as they're on a stakeout in yet another mystery when the cops apparently beat them to the punch and give them the option either be arrested or retire. The next day as they sell off their equipment and collectables. Except for when a Crystal Ball activates and Vincent calls the gang saying he's found the 13th ghost. (Show clip of Daphne admitting she never told them about the Chest Of Demons or the 13 ghosts. Cut to James in winter gear at the top of a mountain)
TLOTA :
A-are you (Shallow breaths) K-k-k-k-k-kidding me? Y-y-y-you never told Fred or Velma what happened? I'm freezing on top of a mountain freezing my Sonic Screwdriver off and You never told them? Daphne, YOU ARE A DUMBASS!
Vincent Van Ghoul:
Well she may have been a dumbass as you so less than eloquently put it but you were dumber for not taking the lift, like I did to make it here. Anyway I sense the Chest inside.
TLOTA:
And I sense Alex, let's go!
Vincent Van Ghoul:
Wait, What about a plan?
TLOTA:
I'll have a plan set up when I warm up inside that temple!
(Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
After unveiling the Mystery Machine mark II otherwise known as The Miss-tery Machine, the gang make it to Vincent Van Ghoul as they're attacked by Asmodeus, the 13th Ghost. As Vincent tries to hold off the Demon, Shaggy admits he sent the Chest Of Demons back to the temple at the Himalayas. So it's race to get to the Chest first. If Asmodeus gets it, the other 12 Ghosts are released. If the gang gets it, it's bye-bye Asmodeus. Apparently as part of the back story Vincent and his partner Mortifer found the Chest in King Solomon's Mine and unleashed it accidentally. Oh and before I forget Velma is as skeptical about the Ghosts as Lisa Simpson when it comes to others being right, Fred is now unsure of his place on the team and a Phantom car is on the hunt for them as well. Unless Bogle and Weird are behind the drivers seat, then this plot is POINTLESS as Breast Cancer is in "The Room". Yeah, I went there. (Show clip of Vincent using his creepy puns as everyone is standing there with a "Seriously" look on their faces and Vincent asks if there was too many puns. Cut to James physically as he just has regained feeling in his upper torso.)TLOTA:
Let's count the puns and see if there are too many puns in it! (Show clip of Vincent using his creepy puns and a counter going "Ding" for every pun. Freeze on Vincent as he asks if there were too many puns as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
FOUR! THAT'S FOUR PUNS! THAT'S FOUR PUNS TOO MANY NOT ONLY FOR ONE STATEMENT! THAT'S FOUR PUNS TOO MANY FOR VINCENT VAN GHOUL! (Cut to Vincent and James)
Vincent Van Ghoul:
Well there's a simple...
TLOTA:
SHUT UP! IT WASN'T GOOD WHEN GOSEI TRIED TO USE IT AND IT SURE AS HELL ISN'T GONNA WORK HERE!
(Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
As our protagonists continue in their journey, the Phantom Car from earlier and a man from the yard sale named Bernie Alan find their way to the temple. The best thing to do is to have Velma and Fred look for the package in the town Postal Service while Daphne, Shaggy, Scooby and Vincent follow Bernie and The Car. As The Phantom Car causes an avalanche, meanwhile as Velma and Fred keep looking for Shaggy's package they bump into a local played by Noshir Dalal and I'm going to go ahead and spoil who he is, It's Flim-Flam! Yes, the little kid that drove me completely cuckoo with his scams became that guy! How did that happen did he go to the Anakin Skywalker school of growing up? Anyway, Flim-Flam takes him to his shop full of ghostbusting gear. Meanwhile Daphne, Shaggy, Scooby and Vincent make it to the temple where Vincent tells them that as of late his powers has begun to wane and at it couldn't be at a worse time as Asmodeus has nabbed the Chest Of Demons and AHHHH...(Cut to a part of a temple as James screams and lands in a sanctuary)
TLOTA:
Now where am I? Okay, Not exactly where I hope I'd be and Vincent is... Not here. He must have sent me here to find something that I can use against the cult or maybe relax for some time before I (A whole lot of swords surround James) get captured. Would you mind if I continue my review? (Everyone else says "It's Alright!") Thanks! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
Now where am I? Okay, Not exactly where I hope I'd be and Vincent is... Not here. He must have sent me here to find something that I can use against the cult or maybe relax for some time before I (A whole lot of swords surround James) get captured. Would you mind if I continue my review? (Everyone else says "It's Alright!") Thanks! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Using the last bit of energy Vincent has, he gets Daphne, Shaggy and Scooby out of harms way. He is going to face Asmodeus on his own just as Velma and Fred literally drop in. It looks like all hope is lost when Fred... Well... Just watch! (Fred gets all inspirational and says he was in a Cheerleading camp over the same summer Daphne, Shaggy and Scooby were in "The 13 Ghosts Of Scooby Doo") REALLY?! A CHEERLEADING CAMP?!? AND NOW HE USES HIS CHEERS TO INSPIRE THE REST OF THE TEAM? WHAT EXPLANATION CAN THERE BE EXCEPT...wait a second.... (Cut to a defeated Vincent Van Ghoul and Julia Alexa Miller tied to a symbol as James is dragged in.)
TLOTA:
I knew it, I knew you had your filthy, disgusting hands in this. You and your kind make cockroaches look easy to kill! (Cut to the cult as their leader reveals herself to be the Lindsay Nagel exec.)
L.N. exec:
How long did it take for you to figure it out? (Cut to James)
How long did it take for you to figure it out? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
As long as it took for me to know I hated this movie. Which was by this act.
As long as it took for me to know I hated this movie. Which was by this act.
(Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
(Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
TLOTA:
SERIOUSLY WHY SO MUCH BACKSTORY ON SOMETHING WE KNEW ENOUGH ON?! (Cut to the Lindsay Nagel exec.)
L.N. exec:
Well our charts believed the more backstory and connection to Vincent would bolster his backstory. (Cut to James)
Well our charts believed the more backstory and connection to Vincent would bolster his backstory. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
What about the fact that he graduated Terror Tech in 36!(Cut to the Lindsay Nagel exec.)
What about the fact that he graduated Terror Tech in 36!(Cut to the Lindsay Nagel exec.)
L.N. exec:
Vincent Van Ghoul:
No, 36! (Cut to James)
No, 36! (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Well even THAT doesn't matter as guess what?
Well even THAT doesn't matter as guess what?
(Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
TLOTA:
And you know what I did? Cause enough of a distraction for me to do THIS! (James pulls out a bottle of "Lotsa Luck Joy Juice" and a Sonic Screwdriver and the bottle explodes with the "Lotsa Luck Joy Juice" cutting through the bonds of Vincent Van Ghoul who rises up and uses a borrowed Sonic Screwdriver to unleash Julia Alexa Miller from the symbol and before Julia Alexa Miller can electrocute someone James holds her back and pulls out his morpher unveiling "G.O.H.F. Mode")
Julia Alexa Miller:
G.O.H.F. Mode?
TLOTA:
You'll see it and they'll feel it G.O.H.F. Mode! (James morphs into G.O.H.F. Mode as James transforms into the God Of Hell Fire and singing "Fire" by The Crazy World Of Arthur Brown" and unleashes demonic fire every direction the Lindsay Nagel exec and her cult during the first lyric and second chorus. During the second lyric The God Of Hell Fire seduces Julia Alexa Miller transforming her into a minion. The third chorus sees the Lindsay Nagel exec and her cult engulfed into a cage of fire and The God Of Hell Fire and Julia Alexa Miller engaging in a dance. The camera zooms into the robe as it turns into a flame with the face of The God Of Hell Fire as he sings "You're gonna burn!" and repeating "Burn" then laughing insanely as the Lindsay Nagel exec and her cult scream in fear. As The God Of Hell Fire begins the ending of his song a portal opens up slowly lowering them into the depths of hell! As The Lindsay Nagel exec screams for forgiveness The God Of Hell Fire exits James returning him to normal)
TLOTA:
What? (Cut to Vincent Van Ghoul)
Vincent Van Ghoul:
You must be a powerful practitioner of magicense to be able to become the God Of Hell Fire! How were able to summon him and a servant of The God Of Hell Fire (Julia Alexa Miller returns to normal)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Actually he could only do it once, it was a one off!
Vincent Van Ghoul:
Well how did you know that Lindsay Nagel was the head of the cult. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Oh it was simple, here's what happened. (Cut to Black and White clips corresponding to James' Dialogue/Voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
When those execs decided to make the movie, they only gave the series lip service. They paid off the test audiences and doctored charts to make this movie possible, it was going to be perfect, had they not put the movie out in the era of the Internet Reviewer. They couldn't control how the Internet reviewer thought or would react. It was going to be a fiasco. So the only logical conclusion was to get all the copies and infuse them with the spirit of the other 12 curses in order to stupefy everyone who'd watch it. How I stumbled upon it was simple. It was during the brawl, as I tried to fight off ten of them, Alex found the plan and gave it to me and a card letting me know who the leader was and everything else is history. (Cut to Vincent Van Ghoul and Julia Alexa Miller)
Julia Alexa Miller:
That's amazing.
Vincent Van Ghoul:
How long did it take you to figure it out? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
About as long as it took for me to realize that this movie was the biggest pile of Scooby-Dooby-Doggy Doo-doo!(Cut to the movie as the end credits song of "The 13 Ghosts Of Scooby Doo" play while James does a voiceover)
I'm going to give the movie the following in the positive column, One) Maurice LaMarche as Vincent Van Ghoul. Two) The Animation is better quality than a lot of the movies that has been present in these movies. Three) Even though it's half assed they did try to connect the series to the classic team but these are just minor things in what is a horrible movie that shouldn't have been that horrible. As I said earlier, this was a gift wrapped movie, it was so easy that even my six year old niece could've done it. Bottom line, whatever you may have thought about the series at least it was good enough to leave it open ended to have gotten something to think of a better finale than this accursed Demon Chest Droppings! (A Flame appears and Satan played by Paulo Fonseca goes through the flame)
Satan:
STOP FILLING THE LEVELS OF HELL WITH MORE HOLLYWOOD SCUM! I CAN'T FILL ANYMORE ROOM IN THAT LEVEL! (Cut to Vincent Van Ghoul and Julia Alexa Miller)
Vincent Van Ghoul:
WHAT IN THE NAME OF BEELZEBUB?
Julia Alexa Miller:
Yeah, it's him, Satan, it'll be the last time this year. (Cut to James and Satan)
TLOTA:
What she just said!
Satan:
Fine, but make sure you let me...
TLOTA:
NO!
Satan:
Okay (Satan disappears into the fire. Cut to Vincent Van Ghoul)
Vincent Van Ghoul:
And now we say arrivederci and we hope you had fun... (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Watching me review this turkey, I think not. I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That's my opinion! (Cut to later as James takes Julia Alexa Miller through the Haunted House.)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Oh WOW, That was scary and fun!
TLOTA:
Yeah it was, but not as scary as it's been since I asked. Worst thing has been the waiting.
Julia Alexa Miller:
James, I said I'd give you an answer in December.
TLOTA:
I know. (James and Julia kiss) Listen, when I get it, whatever happens, I'll take it like an adult.
Julia Alexa Miller:
Good to know, See you in December.
TLOTA:
See you then. (Cut to James as he sits on the loading dock and John Santos walks up to him)
John Santos:
Hey James.
TLOTA:
Hey John.
John Santos:
You know, I've noticed a change in you since August. What's going on?
TLOTA:
You and the others will know, soon.
John Santos:
How soon?
TLOTA:
Soon. See ya later dude.
John Santos:
Later James. (James walks away and John gets on the phone) Yeah, he's tight lipped, nothing not even a glimmer of an opportunity. Whatever it is, he's keeping it tight, not even his family knows. I know James, the second he wants to tell everyone, he will. (John sighs as it fades to black and the words "To Be Continued...In..."The Last Of The Americans: The Movie" Coming in 2020, Hopefully" and fade to black)
And you know what I did? Cause enough of a distraction for me to do THIS! (James pulls out a bottle of "Lotsa Luck Joy Juice" and a Sonic Screwdriver and the bottle explodes with the "Lotsa Luck Joy Juice" cutting through the bonds of Vincent Van Ghoul who rises up and uses a borrowed Sonic Screwdriver to unleash Julia Alexa Miller from the symbol and before Julia Alexa Miller can electrocute someone James holds her back and pulls out his morpher unveiling "G.O.H.F. Mode")
Julia Alexa Miller:
G.O.H.F. Mode?
TLOTA:
You'll see it and they'll feel it G.O.H.F. Mode! (James morphs into G.O.H.F. Mode as James transforms into the God Of Hell Fire and singing "Fire" by The Crazy World Of Arthur Brown" and unleashes demonic fire every direction the Lindsay Nagel exec and her cult during the first lyric and second chorus. During the second lyric The God Of Hell Fire seduces Julia Alexa Miller transforming her into a minion. The third chorus sees the Lindsay Nagel exec and her cult engulfed into a cage of fire and The God Of Hell Fire and Julia Alexa Miller engaging in a dance. The camera zooms into the robe as it turns into a flame with the face of The God Of Hell Fire as he sings "You're gonna burn!" and repeating "Burn" then laughing insanely as the Lindsay Nagel exec and her cult scream in fear. As The God Of Hell Fire begins the ending of his song a portal opens up slowly lowering them into the depths of hell! As The Lindsay Nagel exec screams for forgiveness The God Of Hell Fire exits James returning him to normal)
TLOTA:
What? (Cut to Vincent Van Ghoul)
Vincent Van Ghoul:
You must be a powerful practitioner of magicense to be able to become the God Of Hell Fire! How were able to summon him and a servant of The God Of Hell Fire (Julia Alexa Miller returns to normal)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Actually he could only do it once, it was a one off!
Vincent Van Ghoul:
Well how did you know that Lindsay Nagel was the head of the cult. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Oh it was simple, here's what happened. (Cut to Black and White clips corresponding to James' Dialogue/Voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
When those execs decided to make the movie, they only gave the series lip service. They paid off the test audiences and doctored charts to make this movie possible, it was going to be perfect, had they not put the movie out in the era of the Internet Reviewer. They couldn't control how the Internet reviewer thought or would react. It was going to be a fiasco. So the only logical conclusion was to get all the copies and infuse them with the spirit of the other 12 curses in order to stupefy everyone who'd watch it. How I stumbled upon it was simple. It was during the brawl, as I tried to fight off ten of them, Alex found the plan and gave it to me and a card letting me know who the leader was and everything else is history. (Cut to Vincent Van Ghoul and Julia Alexa Miller)
Julia Alexa Miller:
That's amazing.
Vincent Van Ghoul:
How long did it take you to figure it out? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
About as long as it took for me to realize that this movie was the biggest pile of Scooby-Dooby-Doggy Doo-doo!(Cut to the movie as the end credits song of "The 13 Ghosts Of Scooby Doo" play while James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Satan:
STOP FILLING THE LEVELS OF HELL WITH MORE HOLLYWOOD SCUM! I CAN'T FILL ANYMORE ROOM IN THAT LEVEL! (Cut to Vincent Van Ghoul and Julia Alexa Miller)
Vincent Van Ghoul:
WHAT IN THE NAME OF BEELZEBUB?
Julia Alexa Miller:
Yeah, it's him, Satan, it'll be the last time this year. (Cut to James and Satan)
TLOTA:
What she just said!
Satan:
Fine, but make sure you let me...
TLOTA:
NO!
Satan:
Okay (Satan disappears into the fire. Cut to Vincent Van Ghoul)
Vincent Van Ghoul:
And now we say arrivederci and we hope you had fun... (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Watching me review this turkey, I think not. I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That's my opinion! (Cut to later as James takes Julia Alexa Miller through the Haunted House.)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Oh WOW, That was scary and fun!
TLOTA:
Yeah it was, but not as scary as it's been since I asked. Worst thing has been the waiting.
Julia Alexa Miller:
James, I said I'd give you an answer in December.
TLOTA:
I know. (James and Julia kiss) Listen, when I get it, whatever happens, I'll take it like an adult.
Julia Alexa Miller:
Good to know, See you in December.
TLOTA:
See you then. (Cut to James as he sits on the loading dock and John Santos walks up to him)
John Santos:
Hey James.
TLOTA:
Hey John.
John Santos:
You know, I've noticed a change in you since August. What's going on?
TLOTA:
You and the others will know, soon.
John Santos:
How soon?
TLOTA:
Soon. See ya later dude.
John Santos:
Later James. (James walks away and John gets on the phone) Yeah, he's tight lipped, nothing not even a glimmer of an opportunity. Whatever it is, he's keeping it tight, not even his family knows. I know James, the second he wants to tell everyone, he will. (John sighs as it fades to black and the words "To Be Continued...In..."The Last Of The Americans: The Movie" Coming in 2020, Hopefully" and fade to black)
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