TLOTA: I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and The
Views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. It is
time once again to bend the rules as I talk about yet ANOTHER movie in theaters
as we speak! (Cut to the “Wonder Woman” 2017 logo and a sound alike to the
1970’s Wonder Woman TV series plays in the background before cutting to
recreated clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover): While “Superman: Man Of Steel”, “Superman
v Batman: Dawn Of Justice” were two strikes towards the DCEU and “Suicide
Squad” more like a foul ball. This movie makes up for all of that, in one fell
stroke. This movie revived my hope that the DCEU can succeed! (Cut to James
physically)
TLOTA: So, let’s get into “Wonder Woman” and see why that
is. (Cut to recreated clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover): The movie begins in Themyscira as we see Diana, Princess of Themyscira
once again played by Gal Gadot growing up and being trained by her Aunt Antiope
played by Robin Wright against the wishes of Diana’s mother Queen Hippolyta
played by Connie Nielson. But one day A plane carrying Steve Trevor played by
Chris Pine crashes onto the shores of Themyscira and unfortunately brings in the
soldiers of the Kaiser to the shores of Themyscira. (A battle ensues between
the soldiers, The Amazons with Steve Trevor fighting for The Amazons as
Lightning strikes the Island as The Blockbuster Buster lands and all hell
breaks loose as he goes after everything from the Amazons, Diana, Steve, and
the soldiers of the Kaiser before cutting to James in his office.)
TLOTA: WHAT IN THE NAME OF ZEUS’ BUTTHOLE ARE YOU DOING HERE
E-ROD?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE WITH THE DCEU ONCE AND FOR ALL! (Cut to the
recreated clips of the movie with The Blockbuster Buster in there)
Queen Hippolyta (Played by Olivia Horvath): NEVER SAY THE
NAME OF ZEUS IN VAIN AND AS FOR YOU ANSWER HIM, WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU
HERE?
The Blockbuster Buster: A Fair question my Queen allow me to
introduce myself. Greetings Fanboys and Fangirls I’m E-Rod and I’m The
Blockbuster Buster and I am about to do what Warner Brothers and DC Comics won’t
do because they love money more than the fans, scrap this entire universe and
reboot it the right way. No Superman snapping Zod’s Neck, no whiny douches
crying “MARTHA!”, no Suicide Squad, not even this movie will happen! (Cut to
James physically)
TLOTA: Look E-Rod I understand WHY you are done with the
DCEU but to go so far as take down the best movie of the year which was
directed by the same director as “Monster” all because it’s in a movie universe
you don’t want to succeed and blacklisted, Isn’t this a little too much? Even
for you? (Cut to the recreated clips of the movie with The Blockbuster Buster
in there)
The Blockbuster Buster: You may have a point but right now,
as much as DC means to me and as much as it pains me to do this, the rage of
the fans being unleashed on bad movies must be done! The DCEU must die! (Cut to
James physically)
TLOTA: You’re going over the line and now it’s time for me
to join the fray! (Cut to James as he goes to the vault behind ORAC’s Chamber
and grabs a vortex manipulator and sets the coordinates to the movie and lands
in the movie.)
TLOTA: I WON’T LET YOUR BLIND HATRED DESTROY THIS MOVIE
E-ROD!
The Blockbuster Buster: I’d rather have every single theater
play the MCU for all eternity than let one more movie from this dark and
desaturated universe.
TLOTA: Look around before you pre-judge a book by its cover
Blockbuster Buster. There’s color, there’s beauty in more ways than one there’s
vibrancy where is it in the MCU now? That universe is so shattered yet you’ll
keep giving it money to basically criminalize heroism? (The Blockbuster Buster looks
around and sees the color and vibrancy James sees)
The Blockbuster Buster: I want to see what you’re seeing but
Zack Snyder destroyed my desire in this!
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): And you two are
destroying the pacing of the movie.
The Blockbuster Buster: What pacing?
TLOTA: Excuse my associate! (James gives The Blockbuster
Buster a wedgie and drags him towards a rock as the battle resumes off screen
as James looks and The Blockbuster Buster doesn’t care)
TLOTA: Now to this movie’s credit I like the movie being set
World War I instead of World War II which was a smart move on DC’s part. It subverts
the “World War II was the Start of the Superheroes” trope and if E-Rod watched
this movie instead of being an obstinate Jack-Ass in never seeing another DCEU
movie he might be enjoying this as much as I am!
Blockbuster Buster: You know if I gave a flying frog’s fart
about this movie, I’d say that this would be an interesting twist on the origin
story. (Cut to images of the first Comic Book appearance of “Wonder Woman” as
The Blockbuster Buster and James do a voiceover)
Blockbuster Buster (Voiceover): As everyone knows that the
character originated in Second World War, as a matter of fact every well-known
TRUE DC and Marvel Superhero started out in the Second World War.
TLOTA (Voiceover): Well believe it or not I like this change
it eschews the overused Second World War and focuses it on the First War that
sent everyone in the World straight to hell! (Cut back to the recreated movie
as A WWI German Soldier played by Andrew Beach is seen coming their way as
James ducks and lands on The Blockbuster Buster. The Soldier gets up as James
superkicks The WWI German Soldier) Heads up there, E-Rod! (Cut to later in the
movie as Steve Trevor is being interrogated by the Amazons and James and The
Blockbuster Buster talk about the movie they’re in.)
TLOTA: After that awesome moment, we discover what Steve’s
mission statement is.
Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): I am a Spy for the good
guys to stop the bad guys from taking over the world in this the World War! I
have vital information to end the War before more innocent Women, Children and
Men die. (Cut to later in the recreated movie as James and The Blockbuster
Buster talk about the movie they’re in.)
TLOTA: Apparently, he found a book of a chemical composition
of a deadlier version of Mustard Gas made by a Dr. Poison played by Elena Anaya
and he must return to the world of man to give the book to his superiors! After
a brief conversation Hippolyta decides that the best course of Action is not to
react.
Hippolyta (Played by Olivia Horvath): It is far too
dangerous for us to be involved in Man’s World War!
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): And what are we to
do with this Steve Trevor?
Amazonian #1 (Played by Renee Miller): I say we castrate him
with our dullest weapon, tie him up to a column and beat on him with his own innards!
(Others including James and The Blockbuster Buster looking on in Horror at the
thought before cutting back to the Amazonian) Is something wrong my Queen?
Hippolyta (Played by Olivia Horvath): It was far too quick
and violent a suggestion!
Amazonian #1 (Played by Renee Miller): Just the first
thought given to me in my head, that was all my Queen! (Cut to The Blockbuster
Buster and James)
TLOTA: Shut up E-Rod! However, Diana believes who maybe the
cause of this war.
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Mother, I believe
this war is the work of Ares, If I were to go, I could stop him with the
Godslayer and bring peace to the World.
Hippolyta (Played by Olivia Horvath): No, as much as
bringing peace to Man’s World and ending Ares would do good, I cannot allow you
to go and as for this Steve Trevor his fate shall be dealt with later.
(Cut to later in the recreated movie as James and The
Blockbuster Buster talk about the movie they’re in.)
TLOTA: Worried that if Ares isn’t dealt with quickly, Diana
chooses to defy her mother.
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Steve Trevor, go
down to the docks not too far from where I found you.
Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): What are you to do?
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca
Yaun): I must prepare for the end of Ares if he is who you say he is. (Cut
to Diana grabbing her shield, The Godslayer and her “Wonder Woman” outfit
before reaching the Docks as James, The Blockbuster Buster and Steve Trevor
wait in the boat.)
TLOTA: Just as Diana nearly got away with getting Steve out
of Themyscira without hesitation. (Audio of Horses Neigh) Right on Cue! Oh, Hai
Hippolyta! (An arrow zings James micrometers away from James’ waving hand and
James gasps and The Blockbuster Buster’s hair gets center parting!)
Amazonian #1 (Played by Renee Miller): First shot was the
warning! Speak and act so pertinent to The Queen Of The Amazons again and I
guarantee I shall not miss! AM I TO BE UNDERSTOOD?! (Cut to James, Steve and
The Blockbuster Buster as they cover up their private parts)
TLOTA, The Blockbuster Buster & Steve Trevor (In
Unison): OF COURSE, WE UNDERSTAND MA’AM! (Cut to Diana and Hippolyta.)
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Mother I know of
the consequences of doing this but it is what you would do were you in my
place.
Hippolyta (Played by Olivia Horvath): I also know that if
you leave Themyscira, you can never return. But seeing as you are packed and
ready to go I wish the best for you in your journey in Man’s world and carry
this with you, it belonged to Antiope one of the greatest Amazons I’ve ever
known. The greatest being you my daughter!
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Goodbye Mother.
(The Boat leaves the Dock as it cuts to the 0:36-end mark
from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play
the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last
Of The Americans” on it act as the commercial break intro and return to the
reenacted scenes of the movie while James and The Blockbuster Buster talk about
the movie they’re in)
TLOTA: On the boat ride to England Steve discovers a little
too much for his own good about Diana’s origin.
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): I was made from
Clay that my mother found and I was brought to life by Zeus himself.
Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): So, you have no idea
about….
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): When it comes to
procreation, men are essential, but for pleasure, not necessary.
Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): Okay then, well let’s
get some sleep.
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): But who will steer
the ship?
Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): We’ll let the two
Vaudevillians steer us for a while. (Cut to James and The Blockbuster Buster)
TLOTA: He means us, ROCKET!
The Blockbuster Buster: Well then…. (The Blockbuster Buster
pulls out “Lucille”) Time to sink the ship! (James pulls out a Sonic
Screwdriver)
TLOTA: Delta Level Defense! (The Blockbuster Buster gets
knocked unconscious and James steers the ship before cutting to when the group reaches
London)
TLOTA: They finally arrive in London and Steve meets up with
Etta Candy played by Lucy Davis and they decide to help Diana survive Jolly
London Town incognito.
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): How does one fight
in such clothing?
Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): The short version, they
don’t.
TLOTA: And as much as it pains you Blockbuster Buster, I
give the writers, director and actress Gal Gadot the credit for making this
moment entertaining because under the wrong circumstances this could’ve been
very bad comedy but she eventually does find herself donning a disguise and
they get the book to the Allied Forces and Diana helps translate the book. It
does seem to make sense in the case of Gal Gadot and again she pulls off Wonder
Woman PERFECTLY!
The Blockbuster Buster: Oh really, how could she?
TLOTA: She served in the Israeli Defense Forces! (Cut to
stills of Gal Gadot in “Fast & Furious” movies and her two recent outings
as Wonder Woman as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover): And when you think about it, you need to
have Army Discipline when you do these movies and Gal Gadot had that and used
it when she was in the “Fast And Furious” movies and she also was able to show
in the role of Gisele she had the ability to act! So, when they came to her
with the role of Diana Prince AKA Wonder Woman, it literally was a no brainer
for them to bring her on. (Cut to James and The Blockbuster Buster as James
forces The Blockbuster Buster to walk alongside Diana and Steve walk through
London.)
TLOTA: Besides there have been very few interpretations that
were bad so it is nearly impossible to screw it up! (Cut to Stills of past
performers of “Wonder Woman” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover): Of course, the Lynda Carter version IS
the most recognizable and iconic for a reason, she embodied all the positive
aspects of the Character of Wonder Woman. But just as great as Lynda Carter’s
version should be the ones from “The Super Friends” series and of course Susan
Eisenberg from the DC Bruce Timm animated universe in Justice League and
Justice League Unlimited as well as her performances in the DCAU films. Even
Xena actress Lucy Lawless was amazing in the DCAU film “Justice League: The New
Frontier” and Keri Russell in the 2009 standalone Wonder Woman animated movie
was incredible because they got the character. I can think of very few
instances in which the Character was given a disservice like when Adrienne Palicki’s
pilot was not even done and they scrapped it before they even gave it a chance
or even the Cathy Lee Crosby made for TV movie done in 1974 those are the few
times I felt the character was given any sort of disservice. (Cut to the recreated movie as James and The Blockbuster
Buster talk about the movie they’re in.)
TLOTA: At any rate after Steve gives the info to his
superiors, Diana and Steve rallies a team of people like Steve to help Diana
get to the front and stop Ludendorff and Dr. Poison.
Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): So, what do you say?
Will you assist me and my associate Diana on getting her to the front to help
end the War?
Sameer (Played by John Ross Santos): Absolutely!
Charlie (Played by Ed Champion): Aye, I’ll help you and the
lass out fella!
Chief (Played by Paulo Fonseca): I will help you too, Kemosabe!
TLOTA: We’re with you too!
The Blockbuster Buster: The Hell I am! (James knocks out The
Blockbuster Buster)
TLOTA: Like I said! We’re in! (Cut to later in the recreated
movie as The Blockbuster Buster wakes up in the Trenches in the Village of Veld
along with everyone else)
TLOTA (Shouting over the shots and explosions): SO, OUR TEAM
MAKES IT TO THE VILLAGE OF VELD AND HONESTLY THIS IS POSSIBLY THE MOST BAD-ASS
MOMENT IN THE MOVIE AS WONDER WOMAN DECIDES TO TAKE THE FIGHT TO THE SOLDIERS
OF THE KAISER AND TO THE CREDIT OF THE DIRECTOR IT’S POSSIBLY THE GREATEST
MOMENT OF THE MOVIE BECAUSE IT NOT ONLY SHOWS ONE OF THE GREAT BATTLE OF THE
WAR BUT ALSO ITS HORRORS WITHOUT HOLLYWOOD GLAMORIZING IT!
Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): YOU ARE NOT GOING OUT
THERE! IT IS FREAKING NO MAN’S LAND!
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): I AM AN AMAZON! WHO
SAID I WAS A MAN?!
TLOTA (Shouting over the shots and explosions): I’M COMING
WITH YOU! SO IS HE!
The Blockbuster Buster (Shouting over the shots and
explosions): OH REALLY, I’M SAYING THIS RIGHT NOW! NO! WAY! IN! HELL!
TLOTA (Shouting over the shots and explosions): THEN YOU CAN
STAY HERE AND BE A COWARD OR YOU CAN GO OUT THERE AND HERO UP! (The Blockbuster
Buster thinks for two seconds as Wonder Woman climbs up the ladder before
cutting to the outside of the trench as a beam of light is seen before cutting
to the enemy trenches and them looking on in wonder as Wonder Woman climbs out
and a being of light jumps out of the trench and joins her which becomes James
Faraci The Last Of The Americans in his Battle mode and The Blockbuster Buster
flies out of the trench as well, the German Colonel played by Andrew Beach
shouts “OPEN FIRE” in German and they open fire as Wonder Woman deflects the
bullets and James deflects them with the Sword Of Caliverti and The Blockbuster
Buster uses the lightning from the hammer to attack as the German soldiers
continue their offensive as in the background as 2:36-2:58 of “American Bad
Ass” by Kid Rock plays before the audio cuts to the first lyrics and first
chorus then the final chorus of “American Bad Ass” by Kid Rock plays as the
three go on the attack using their arsenal before the troops in the trenches
move forward heroically ending with James using his 303 Lee Enfield British
Rifle to shoot several The German soldiers then using his sword to Blockbuster
Buster’s hammer attack on him and redirect it through the Enemy Trenches before
cutting to The Blockbuster Buster grabbing the Hammer in the Village of Veld
after the sniper in the Church is sent hurdling through the sky)
The Blockbuster Buster: Busted!
(Cut to later in the recreated movie as James and The
Blockbuster Buster talk about the movie they’re in.)
TLOTA: After the Village of Veld is saved by Wonder Woman
and her team, a photo-op occurs that leads to the photo that is in the prologue
before the first act and is the reason why the movie begins in the first place!
Smile Blockbuster Buster!
The Blockbuster Buster: NEVER! (James clenches his fist!)
Okay! I’ll smile! (Cut to the photo as The Blockbuster Buster flips James off
as he’s forced to smile in the photo and James holding up the Peace sign before
cutting to later in the recreated movie as James and The Blockbuster Buster
talk about the movie.)
TLOTA: That night, Diana and Steve enjoy a tender moment in
which they dance.
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): This is not
dancing, this is simply swaying to the music as a matter of fact Blockbuster
Buster hand me your phone!
The Blockbuster Buster: Fine! But I better get it back! (The
Blockbuster Buster gives Diana his smartphone and discovers a video for the
Blockbuster Buster to enjoy.) Wow James, is that you getting down to “Uptown
Funk”?
TLOTA: Yep that is from my sister’s wedding and I am not
ashamed of how I can bust a move!
The Blockbuster Buster: HOLY MOLY CANOLI! You are a dancing
fool! Emphasis on the FOOL! (Steve Trevor clocks The Blockbuster Buster with
the butt of the gun before cutting to later in the recreated movie as James and
The Blockbuster Buster talk about the movie)
TLOTA: Sometime later Diana looking rather ravishing believes
that General Ludendorff played by Danny Huston is in fact Ares and he has to be
finished and trust me he’s already been through enough he was the a-hole who
gave Wolverine his Adamantium.
The Blockbuster Buster: What are you talking about?
TLOTA: A reference to the actor who plays Ludendorff, never
mind that we get this moment between Diana and Steve.
Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): Okay, are you sure that
Ludendorff is Ares?
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Do you doubt my
judgement?
Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): No, I don’t doubt your
judgement, I just want to make sure all the ducks are in a row, because he’s
the link to finding the chemical lab and stopping Dr. Poison.
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Oh great, Ares got
away from me thanks to you.
Steve Trevor (Played
by Nick Yaun): Well maybe he’s not Ares. (A loud explosion is heard and felt
before cutting to James and The Blockbuster Buster)
The Blockbuster Buster: What in the Wide World Of Sports was
that?
TLOTA: The lethal weapon made by Dr. Poison and Ludendorff.
Wiped the entire village of Veld right off the map! (Cut to Diana and Steve on the
outskirts of the Village of Veld)
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): I could’ve stopped
him! Why did you not let me stop him? I see in you the same thing in the German
Soldiers. I must go alone from this moment forward. (Cut to later in the
recreated movie as James and The Blockbuster Buster talk about the movie)
TLOTA: Diana eventually gets to General Ludendorff and… (The
Sound of the Godkiller going through human flesh and metal before we see
parallels between Wonder Woman and the real Ares played by Eric Kurtzke in Suit
and between James and The Blockbuster Buster.)
The Blockbuster Buster: Well that settles this movie is
garbage, The DCEU is permanently blacklisted and I must now destroy everything
about The DCEU to give it the proper reboot.
TLOTA: Okay, I’ve had it, alright I admit it that yes, the
DCEU started out in a rough patch, When Superman snapped Zod’s neck, I was
surprised but it gave Zod the ultimate win. Does it mean Superman is a
cold-blooded killer? Hell no! Should Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice and
Suicide Squad not have been released? You bet your tiny little kiester! Should
you give the DCEU one more break OH HELL YES!
The Blockbuster Buster: You Idiotic Italian Imbecile, you need
someone to set your brains to the real world the DCEU is a failure it needs to
be destroyed and rebooted. Screw the money Warner Brothers and DC would lose, I
want the DC Movies to be better than this crap and the fact that you would
defend this garbage should force me to revoke your status as an Internet
Reviewer.
TLOTA: Coming from someone who constantly reviews Michael
Bay’s Transformers movies you don’t have a leg to stand on! Because guess what,
saying that The Transformers movies stink and no one should ever watch these
movies because you don’t like them is something I can get behind, but guess
what Estúpido, people are still going and knowing that they’re going to watch
because you don’t like the movies but you haven’t blacklisted The Transformers
movies because…. Yeah, I thought so no comeback on that one. Why don’t you
review The Last Knight so the idiots can waste their money on the same rehashed
film instead of giving something different a chance like say this movie. No
wonder the Legion Of Bad-Assitude is turning its back on you! (The Blockbuster
Buster smacks James out of frame as Ares sends Wonder Woman flying out of frame.)
The Blockbuster Buster: TAKE IT BACK OR I WILL BUST YOU!
(Wonder Woman and James come back into frame and say “BRING IT ON!” as both groups
fight and an instrumental of the Megas XLR main theme is playing in the
foreground and James hold off all the attacks from The Blockbuster Buster and
Diana is barely holding her own against Ares! The Blockbuster Buster tries to
use the Lightning to electrocute James but he uses Aeon’s ring to deflect the
power and uses it to strengthen Wonder Woman as she goes up against Ares with
both couples being knocked down. James starts to get up a little winded and pops
his left arm back into place and howls like an ape as The Blockbuster Buster
gets up as well.)
The Blockbuster Buster (Exhausted and slurred): Why… Why the
hell are you still fighting? Fighting for the DCEU is a losing battle.
TLOTA (Exhausted and slurred): It’s not over until it’s
over!
The Blockbuster Buster (Exhausted and slurred): It was over
by Batman V Superman Dawn of the cluster dumb.
TLOTA (Exhausted and slurred): I’ll admit it, it wasn’t the
best movie I ever saw but there was some good in it. I still think there is
hope for the DCEU. While there’s life there’s hope.
The Blockbuster Buster (Exhausted and slurred): Listen to me
The DCEU is done let it die already!
TLOTA (Exhausted and slurred): That doesn’t sound like The
Blockbuster Buster, it sounds like the DCEU’s audience.
The Blockbuster Buster (Exhausted and slurred): I must have
hit you a little too hard! You’re not making sense
TLOTA (Exhausted and Slurred): Allow me to show you! (James
pulls out the Sword of Caliverti) Sword of Caliverti show The Blockbuster
Buster the darkness inside him! Give him sight… beyond… sight! (The Blockbuster
Buster’s eyes turn white as he sees his complaining about the DCEU and slowly
seeing him devolve into a Troll with every complaint and comment as the music
for Thundercats “Sight Beyond Sight” plays throughout before returning to the
recreated movie)
The Blockbuster Buster: Oh god, is that inside me?
TLOTA: It’s in all of us! It’s how we control what is inside
that either makes us to do better or be completely miserable creatures on the
internet. So, what do you say, we help Wonder Woman stop Ares together. (James
extends his hand before cutting to The Blockbuster Buster)
The Blockbuster Buster: Together! (The two shake hands and
the final notes in the “Justice League Unlimited” theme plays as the two join
Diana as Ares continues to fight her. James hits Ares with the combined power
of his four artifacts and it barely fazes The God of War. The Blockbuster
Buster throws Lucille with every ounce of power he has dropping the God of War
like a bad habit in the process knocking the helmet off Ares but shattering the
head of the Hammer in the process.)
The Blockbuster Buster: My Hammer, it’s destroyed! Okay Ares
prepare to… (The Blockbuster Buster turn see the face of Ares is the same as
his!) Lazarus Dark, I thought you were gone for good. (Ares chuckles evilly)
Ares (Vocally by James in his lowest tone): You fool, I am
you fully realized! I am the true Blockbuster Buster and I shall show you the
truth! (Ares grabs both The Blockbuster Buster and Wonder Woman and shows them
the ideal worlds they want.)
Ares (voiceover done vocally by James in his lowest tone):
Behold what man is capable of! But what can happen if you give yourselves to
me! Peace amongst the peoples of the world, movies with characters from Marvel
succeeding in the movies and DC in the Television, no more fear of death, no
more worry of limits, all shall be good! (Cut to James as he gets through the
protective shielding and knocks Ares away with the powers of the artifacts and
James deciding on who to save first as it looks like The Blockbuster Buster and
Wonder Woman are turning black and dying with James deciding to save Wonder
Woman first as he mind melds with Wonder Woman as it cuts to Diana’s fantasy
world)
TLOTA (Echoing audio only): Diana…. Diana…. Diana, I am
going to show you the truth… the truth… the truth hidden in the lies... the
lies… the lies… the lies. (The fantasy fades to reality to when Steve and Diana
were together for the last time and they say their lines in silence and as he
sacrifices himself and Diana shouts silently “STEVE” before she nearly kills
Dr. Poison played by Brenda Fonseca by dropping a tank onto Dr. Poison.)
TLOTA (Echoing audio only): He died believing in you… in
you… in you! You must not let his death be in vain… in vain… in vain. Fight the lies with the love you believe in…
believe in… believe in. The love Steve believed in is in you Diana… Diana…
Diana. Don’t let the lies kill that love… that love… that love. (Cut back to
James and Diana as she is revived as the two scrambles to get to The
Blockbuster Buster as he mumbles out loud about what he’s seeing)
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Your friend, Is he?
(James pulls out his Tri-corder)
TLOTA: He’s fading. I can save him. Save the world with the
love inside you and the love Steve had for you.
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Thank you, my
friend! (Wonder Woman runs out of frame as James mind melds as it cuts to James
in The Blockbuster Buster’s fantasy world)
TLOTA (Echoing audio only): E-Rod…. E-Rod…. E-Rod, I am
going to show you the truth… the truth… the truth hidden in the lies... the
lies… the lies… the lies. (Cut to the inside of the Multiplex The Blockbuster
Buster is standing inside of his fantasy world before zooming into a theater in
the Multiplex as we see a couple played by Paulo and Brenda Fonseca disgusted
by Captain America: Civil War.)
Joel (played by Paulo Fonseca): This is Garbage! I enjoyed “X-Men
Origins: Wolverine” more than I did this.
Mary (played by Brenda Fonseca): And didn’t you dislike that
and “X-Men: Apocalypse”?
Joel (played by Paulo Fonseca): Yeah, but I’m avoiding “The
Avengers” movies because I know it’s bad. I hope DC can finally return to the
big screens. (The Camera moves away from the Couple watching “Captain America:
Civil War” to a couple in another theater watching “Spider-Man 3” played by
Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun)
Mike (Played by Nick Yaun): God this is so dumb!
Bridget (Played by Rebecca Yaun): I know, I’d KILL just to
see Superman taking on Zod again or hell see if DC can keep up with Marvel and
their Cinematic universe. (The Camera moves away from the Couple watching “Spider-Man
3” to a group of friends in another theater in the lower level watching “Elektra”
played by John Santos, Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath,
Ed Champion and Andrew Beach)
Kevin (Played by John Santos): This movie sucks!!
Bill (Played by Mike Santos): Yeah, I would kill for a real
superheroine movie.
Frank (Played by Eric Kurtzke): Even Wonder Woman would be
better than this awful movie
Kinga (Played by Renee Miller): She could be done well
Synthia (Played by Olivia Horvath): I know it’ll be better
than this dreck and it will be much more entertaining.
Trace (Played by Ed Champion): We need something that must
be better.
Jonah (Played by Andrew Beach): We all hope that way! (The
Camera moves away frenetically moving along the Theater in the lobbies as “A
Good Man” by Murray Gold from 1:08-3:21 plays in the foreground.)
The Blockbuster Buster (Audio only): I see inside your head!
I know how you think James! I see people tired of the bland and overdone! I see
the want for something better with what is there! I see not the rage but
something stronger than fanboy rage! I see the truest forces of good in any
fandom there is. Faith, Love and… (A Bright light shines before cutting back to
the two as The Blockbuster Buster opens his eyes)
The Blockbuster Buster: Hope! (James reaches out his hand to
The Blockbuster Buster and The Blockbuster Buster reciprocates as James picks
him up. The Blockbuster Buster reaches out as the Handle to his hammer comes to
him then he does his Hammer twirling before seeing the head of the hammer is
reformed!) Thank you, James! You restored hope to me! Now let’s use hope, faith
and love of the fandoms and vanquish that dark demonic deity once and for all!
(James and The Blockbuster Buster Smiles happily before the music cuts to “The
Majestic Tale (of An Idiot With a Box)” by Murray Gold as the Two join in Diana
as they take on Ares attacking with everything they have inside as the power of
the Hope in The Blockbuster Buster supercharges his blasts to Ares shattering
his armor into oblivion with Lucille, the power of Faith in James Faraci The
Last Of The Americans as he uses the combined forces of the Artifacts to weaken
Ares as he takes on the face and body of Zack Snyder played by Paulo Fonseca and
Love inside Wonder Woman as she sends one of Ares’ lightning bolts back onto
him before cutting to James and The Blockbuster Buster as they combine their
strengths inside and channel it into Wonder Woman)
Ares (Vocally by James in his lowest tone): WHAT IS
HAPPENING?!
TLOTA: WE COMBINE THE FAITH OF THE FANBOYS AND FANGIRLS INTO
THIS ONE!
The Blockbuster Buster: WE COMBINE THE HOPE OF FANBOYS AND
FANGIRLS INTO THIS ONE!
“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): AND THOUGH THE
POWER OF LOVE INSIDE OF ME, I DIANA OF THEMYSCIRA DAUGHTER OF HIPPOLYTA
VANQUISH YOU ARES TO THE DEPTHS OF HADES FROM WHENCE YOU CAME! FARETHEEWELL MY
BROTHER! (Diana clashes her bracelets together and disintegrates Ares down on a
sub-sub-sub atomic level as Ares shouts “NO!” and a flash of light is seen
before cutting to James and The Blockbuster Buster in James’ Studio.)
The Blockbuster Buster: So where are we in the movie now?
TLOTA: We’re not, we’re back in my Studio.
The Blockbuster Buster: Huh, not a bad place. Why haven’t I been here before?
TLOTA: You were in your Blockbuster Buster sleep for my
annual Christmas Party or however you do what you do now when you take a break.
Look I know I can’t convince you to give The DCEU the last chance I’m giving it
because it deserves it and Wonder Woman gave me the chance to believe in the
hope that the DCEU can be salvaged! (Cut to recreated clips of “Wonder Woman”
and stills of the other DCEU as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover): And for many I understand why they think
the DCEU is beyond salvation but me personally, if you forget Suicide Squad,
Man Of Steel & Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice happened and give this
one a watch, you’ll see why. The story is amazing, the acting is incredibly on
point, the action is fifty times better than anything Michael Bay could do at
his worst, the directing is amazing and there is something that nearly makes me
believe the DCEU is watchable. That’s a miracle in itself. As a standalone
movie it truly, truly works. As the last hope of the DCEU, it does its job
right enough to do so. If this review gives some poor guy who has had it with
comic book movies the ability to enjoy the DCEU and they feel it deserves that
one last chance then I strongly suggest you go for it and see this movie for
yourself. See it in the theaters, get it on Blu-Ray, DVD, and Digital HD
Download and finally see the Spark of hope being kindled in the DCEU at last.
(Cut to James and the Blockbuster Buster in James’ office)
The Blockbuster Buster: I see where you are coming from
James. But I cannot and shall not take it off the blacklist they disappointed
me one too many times!
TLOTA: Okay, E-Rod, how about this, let the fanboys and
fangirls decide whether you should see it or not and if you see it and enjoy
it. Will you finally relent into taking the DCEU OFF your blacklist?
The Blockbuster Buster: Maybe. But until next time I’m E-Rod
and I’m The Blockbuster Buster! Allons-Y! (The Blockbuster Buster snaps his
fingers and flies into James’ DVD collection and “The Three Stooges” movie from
2012 movie and it smacks into James and he grabs it off the floor.)
TLOTA: Hmm, I might get a good review out of this pile of
crap that bears the name of the Comedic Icons. I’m James Faraci The Last Of The
Americans and That’s my opinion!
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