Thursday, July 20, 2017

In Defense Of... The 2005 & 2007 Fantastic Four Movies

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then cutting to James in his chair)

TLOTA: I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own & some of yours and welcome to another edition of "In Defense Of..."(Show pics of maligned pieces of pop culture while the fanfare from the Olympics  play and James comes up after Vanilla Ice slides back and his right hand thumbs up and the words "In Defense Of..."  before cutting to Fan4Stic as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA(Voiceover): Oh yeah Fan4Stic! A movie so horrendous in it execution that it surprised me that it lasted as long as it did in the theaters and it reminded me of one thing I never thought possible but for me is true!. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: That the version made a decade earlier and it's sequel starring a cardboard cutout of an actress, Vic Mackey from The Shield, The man who would be Captain America in the MCU and the guy who was in the sequel to the Live Action 101 Dalmatians movie was actually the best out of all the attempts of bringing The Fantastic Four to the big screen! (Cut to clips of the 2005 Fantastic Four Movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Now let me make this clear, I am NOT a fan of these movies by any means. Julian McMahon just was so smug and arrogant I couldn't tell if it was Cole from "Charmed" or Dr. Christian Troy from "Nip/Tuck" playing Victor Von Doom and yes, I know Victor Von Doom has an arrogance streak a mile long and rightfully so as the rightful ruler of Latveria but good night Julian do you have any other emotion except arrogantly charming? and lest we forget the foursome themselves. Jessica Alba has as much charisma as a plank of plywood, Chris Evans annoyed the ever living DAYLIGHTS out of me as Sue's Brother Johnny Storm and by sheer luck Ioan Gruffudd and Michael Chiklis was the only decent casting and that's because they actually got the characters. Ioan got the overworked scientist aspect of Reed Richards and Michael Chiklis was actually spot on as Ben Grimm getting both the humanity and the tragedy of the character and I really liked the aspect of Chiklis' portrayal of the character. You can really tell how well because of the special Make-Up Appliances!

That's right, this blended CGI Effects and Practical Effects to make everything look as real as a movie involving a guy who becomes a massive mound of rock or a guy being able to stop a Mack Truck by it hitting it with a shoulder, you cannot Photoshop it and make it look real! While I know some CGI was used and you could tell with the likes of The Silver Surfer or when Sue Storm becomes invisible or when Johnny Storm lights up like the sun! But in all honesty the CGI is as impressive as the practical effects but what hurts the story is the loosey goosey with the origin. How friggin hard is it to get it? Two Scientists, An Astronaut and a young hotshot go out to space, get hit by cosmic forces and come home physically changed and the four become accidental heroes and celebrities and that's not even getting into how the 2005 movie botched Doctor Doom's Origin! Here's a hint it involved Science scarring him or how they royally screwed up Galactus in the 2007 sequel "Rise Of The Silver Surfer" which in comparison is just as bad especially with what they do with the foursome! But at least in "Rise Of The Silver Surfer" they did try to develop Johnny's character a little bit more and it showed the friendship between Ben and Johnny had grown and made the logical continuation in the relationship between Reed and Sue.  (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: But with all the things I said about these movies good and bad, I can't hate these movies thoroughly because there was something uniquely opposite to Fan4Stic and that being, a sense of fun in those two movies. (Cut to clips of the movies as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): And I think that is part of the problems I've been having with the MCU and DCEU a lack of fun in these movies as of late. While "Wonder Woman" had some fun and some moments that made me remember why I loved DC Heroes, I don't see that in the main MCU anymore unless it's to make Captain America look like a joke of a hero WHICH HE IS NOT or Iron Man still thinking he's the Alpha Hero in the MCU which by the by Stark, YOU ARE NOT! I actually find the only fun the MCU is having is with "Guardians Of The Galaxy" and sadly "Guardians Of The Galaxy" is only one small fracture in the MCU. Ever since "Captain America: Civil War" everything involving The Avengers and the MCU has been left asunder. The only hope is that the Russo Brothers who are filming the next two "Avengers" movies have a sense of fun and it fixes everything in the MCU that I think is wrong. Whether it's the fact that the movies have now made it a crime to be a big superhero or destroying the Status Quo of the past. Maybe the MCU needs a sense of fun. Maybe it needs The Fantastic Four to get things more lighthearted and get it back to a more of a sense of enjoyment, back during the first stage of the MCU. If 20th Century Fox and Marvel can get their act together then maybe the MCU can be fun again. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That's My Opinion.

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