(The Scene begins with James and Mistress Net in the crimson void)
TLOTA:
So, at least in that one, I knew he had to ride alone if you had heard what happened to him before how he does his series now.
Mistress Net:
And that is a path you must follow to gain insight from your next sojourn!
(James screams “Why Me?!” as the scene begins with a “Sliders-”esque tunnel and a musical theme like the “Arrowverse: Elseworlds” theme song plays as a voiceover of James Faraci asking “What if there were alternate realities? What if you saw what could’ve been or what might have been? And What if you realize, you’re in a better place than you really are?” The “Sliders-” esque tunnel leads to James in different ways either dressed like “Rowdy” from “TV Trash,” “The Blockbuster Buster,” James dressed like “Todd In The Shadows,” and James dressed like Brian Zane from “Wrestling With Wregret” as we then see James Faraci The Last Of The Americans as he falls through all of them and the words “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS: ELSEWORLDS” are shown as it cuts to James dressed as Todd In The Shadows.)
James In The Shadows:
Imagine if you will, you’re one of the biggest bands who started out with a great psychedelic sound but after one album the man you hoped would lead you to success barbeques his brain cells. Then you struggle and then you come back after such adversity to make four of the best albums ever Back To Back To Back To Back! That is a success story, if I have ever heard one. (Cut to footage of “Pink Floyd” in concert as “Comfortably Numb” plays in the background as James does a voiceover)
James In The Shadows (V.O.):
Pink Floyd remains one of the greatest artists of all time, and the four albums they did in the 1970s remain four of the greatest albums of all time. “Dark Side Of The Moon” still sells to this very day, “Wish You Were Here” and “Animals” continued that success, and “The Wall” remains still an amazing Rock Opera, so after all of that, how does a band like that continue that success going into the 1980s? (Cut to James Physically)
James In The Shadows:
Short answer, you self-destruct, the long answer, you force your remaining band members to do an album they don’t want to do, tell them not to put their abilities on the album, smile as I tear all of you down and proceed to make an album that no one likes and then proceed to do as I want. There’s not one thing you can do to stop me! (Cut to clips of the song “The Final Cut” music video as James does a voiceover)
James In The Shadows (V.O.):
Yeah, listening to “The Final Cut” for this one, and boy does it sound so much like the past Pink Floyd albums that the audience knew it was a dud. In fact, this didn’t just fail, it died before it even got out of the production of the album. And today, we’re going to see how this album forced the other members to finally cut Roger Waters out of the band he helped make and to salvage Pink Floyd before Roger ended the band for good! (Cut to James physically.)
James In The Shadows:
This is Trainwrecords; Pink Floyd: The Final Cut! (Cut to the Trainwreckords title card, then to the cover of “The Final Cut” by Pink Floyd. Cut to James physically.)
James In The Shadows:
We must meet the players in this drama to understand the events of why “The Final Cut” didn’t stand a chance in hell. (Cut to “Pink Floyd” footage in live performances as James does a voiceover.)
James In The Shadows (V.O.):
First, we have Roger Waters, bassist and replacement songwriter and lead singer due to former guitarist and lead singer Syd Barrett having barbequed his brain cells while working on the first album and given the boot. Next up is guitarist David Gilmour, who had to replace Syd on the guitar. Third is Nick Mason on the drums, and finally, instrumentalist and keyboardist Rick Wright. By the time their album “The Wall” was finalized, Rick Wright was fired by the command of Roger Waters but was forced to be involved in the sessions and tour as a hired musician on the live show. Also, by this time, Gilmour and Mason were at their wits' end with Roger Waters and nearly left the band. By the end of the tour, Rick Wright was gone, morale between the band members was at an all-time low, and Roger Waters' Iron Fist on the band was choking the life out of “Pink Floyd.” (Cut to James physically)
James In The Shadows:
While on a rest Roger Waters was sitting home, he had heard about how Margaret Thatcher and the British Government had declared war on the Falkland Islands and was so pissed he wrote an entire album for the band to record. And this is one of the few positives I have to say about Roger, he wrote a shit ton of songs for the band on their previous albums, and they were successful. (Cut to clips of Pink Floyd in the studio working on recordings as James does a voiceover)
James In The Shadows (V.O.):
By the time “The Final Cut” was being produced, Mason and Gilmour were willing to do a lot to not to work with Roger Waters but still be involved with Pink Floyd. A lot of the in-fighting was about Roger not being very friendly to the others and Roger taking control of everything. Eventually Gilmore and Mason threw their hands up in the air and said, “Fuck it, do whatever you and we’ll be there to see you crash and burn then join in them laughing at you.” (Cut to James physically)
James In The Shadows:
The results speak for themselves, as when it was released, critics were mixed, and “Rolling Stone” called it “A Roger Waters Solo album disguised as a Pink Floyd Album.” Also not helping was that the first single released was the title track, and the video had me react in the only way I could. (Show the video of “The Final Cut” intercut with James reacting with confusion and intrigue. Cut to James) So yeah, this set the tone for the entire album’s fiery crash and burn. (Cut to “The Final Cut” Music video as James does a voiceover.)
James In The Shadows (V.O.):
What in the flying fuck was this video trying to convey? That everything Pink Floyd has done was because of Roger Waters? Is that everything we enjoy stupid? I have no idea what we’re getting into with this one. (Cut to James physically)
James In The Shadows:
One of the big things about this album is that several songs initially intended for the soundtrack for the movie that came out around this time, based on “The Wall.” The only reason I can’t get any footage of this movie is that Bootlegs and DVD Rips on YouTube don’t last long. But from what I have gathered, one song from the album is a gigantic middle finger to how the movie came out with the single “Not Now John” (Cut to the video of “Not Now John” then to James physically.) Okay, Roger, what exactly is your deal? (Cut to clips of Roger Waters with Pink Floyd performing live, clips of the USSR as it was in the Cold War, the clip of “Rocky IV” as Apollo Creed is destroyed in the ring and “Red Dawn” as the USSR invades Calumet and Putin was invading Ukraine as James does a voiceover.)
James In The Shadows (V.O.):
I have discovered that Roger Waters is politically against what the British Government stands for. That’s because he was taught by his family to be a communist. So basically, he was one of the few who had hoped that the USSR, back in the days of the Cold War, would win and snuff out everything ounce of capitalism. So something tells me when Roger watched “Rocky IV” he was grinning ear to ear as Drago beat Carl Weathers to death or when America was being torn to bits in an invasion in “Red Dawn” Roger was almost reaching Nirvana (The concept, not the band) and when Putin decided to reclaim the lands that Russia lost when the Soviet Union collapsed by starting his war with Ukraine, Roger Waters almost splooged like nobody’s business. (Cut to James physically)
James In The Shadows:
And nowhere did Roger show his disdain for the British Government than in the single “The Fletcher Memorial Home.” (Cut to “The Fletcher Memorial Home” Music Video as James does a voiceover.)
James In The Shadows (V.O.):
In the video for the single, it’s basically a video saying that every leader of every government, including the Queen and Margaret Thatcher, and every armed force commander, must be institutionalized and then lobotomized, except for Roger's Communist Comrades, of course. (Cut to James physically)
James in The Shadows:
So aside from the obvious, what did Roger Waters have against Margaret Thatcher? She had approved a war to claim the Falkland Islands as British land. And now the question on everyone’s mind, “WHERE IN THE HELL ARE THE FALKLAND ISLANDS?!” (Cut to stills of The Falkland Islands as James does a voiceover.)
James In The Shadows (V.O.):
So The Falklands are a nice little island chain in South America and the war for that place that pissed Roger Waters off to make this album lasted four months. Meaning that something that didn’t last long led to the biggest failure in the history of Pink Floyd’s entire collection. (Cut to James physically)
James In The Shadows:
In comparison to “The Final Cut” which sold 2.5 million albums in its initial run and has been selling a whopping one hundred copies a year, “Dark Side Of The Moon” still sells at least a half a million albums a month, “Wish You Were Here,” “Animals,” and “The Wall” are still selling like they’re going out of style. (Cut to clips of Pink Floyd’s members talking with their audio muted and a clip of the band without Roger Waters in the music video of “Learning To Fly” as James does a voiceover.)
James In The Shadows (V.O.):
This Album was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The fact that they didn’t tour for the album doesn’t surprise me and that two years later Roger applied to the High Courts to end Pink Floyd so he could have a solo career, however when Roger told David Gilmour, he decided to finally fight back, get Nick Mason and Rick Wright to make an album under the name Pink Floyd... And it did a Shit ton better than “The Final Cut”! (Cut to James physically)
James In The Shadows:
Which I’m sure pissed Roger off to no end for a long time. (Cut to the latest clips of Pink Floyd as James does a voiceover.)
James In The Shadows (V.O.):
As a matter of fact, after giving Roger the heave-ho, the albums Gilmour, Wright, and Mason did as PInk Floyd were as well received as it was in their 1970s halcyon days. Roger Waters, on the other hand, had more misses than hits after leaving Pink Floyd. The classic line up didn’t reunite for a performance together until 2006, Rick Wright passing away not long after the performance, David Gilmour and Nick Mason appeared once or twice with Roger as he did arena performances of “The Wall” on tour which was part of a settlement for David and the others to tour as Pink Floyd even though most of the hostilities have not ceased and the fact that anything involving the “Pink Floyd” brand will most likely cause another fight to break out between Gilmour and Waters. (Cut to clips of “The Final Cut” as James does a voiceover)
James In The Shadows (V.O.):
Except for “The Final Cut,” neither one actually care and the fact that the fans still don’t give it a flying fuck means that the album was so worthless that neither David Gilmour or Roger Waters want to admit they don’t give a rat's ass about it to fight over it. That is how worthless “The Final Cut” is. (Cut to James physically.)
James In The Shadows:
And just to see if David Gilmour and Roger Waters will come after each other over the most trivial of pieces of the Pink Floyd brand, I am currently holding a pen with the name “Pink Floyd” on it, I wonder if they’ll go to war about it while you listen to “Two Suns In The Sunset.” Screw The Final Cut, A Worthless album about a worthless war! (James walks away as it cuts to the ending of “Two Suns In The Sunset” playing over a still of the band standing together at the end of their “Live 8” performance. Cut to the episode's ending as a Piano playing “The Final Cut” as it shows which record label owns the record and who owns the video then the Todd In The Shadows Patreon backers then cutting to black.)
No comments:
Post a Comment