(Scene begin with a smartwatch screen and a finger as it taps the screen and the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand as it taps an app on his phone as it opens a portal, and it cuts to James and the characters he’s played until it cut to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans'” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun and the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca & Rebecca and Nick Yaun” is shown and it then slides away to different images of Andrew Beach, and Ed Champion as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “Andrew Beach, Ed Champion” is shown as it then slides away to different images of Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath and the credits of “Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” is shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites, and Blues as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions" “Executive Producers: James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion & Olivia Horvath” “Editing by Eric Kurtzke and James Faraci” “Written and Directed by James Faraci” are shown as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an image of James as he jumps through the portal and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a black background, and the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays. Cut to James in his office)
TLOTA: I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and the views I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. Well, my worries and concerns were confirmed! (Cut to the clips of the Disney "Star Wars" movies and series as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.): As I watched the Disney "Star Wars" Skywalker movies, I saw the inevitable that they'd do what they had done with so many other franchises, they milked the film series for what they could get out of it and have been keeping it on life support on Disney+. But that's not to say that their efforts have been inadequate. I enjoyed "Rogue One: A Star Wars Story," I checked out "Solo: A Star Wars Story" and thought it was alright, given all the circumstances."The Mandalorian" is enjoyable, and The "Obi-Wan Kenobi" miniseries was entertaining, especially for the kid who played young Leia Organa. But as I watched them stumble through Episodes 7, 8, and 9, it felt like they were in Lather, Rinse, and Repeat the Original Trilogy. I hoped for something better in Disney's cinematic outings with these characters and this universe. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: Then I realized that someone did something to expand the universe and help the original trilogy, and it happened twenty-five years ago! (Cut to clips of the Star Wars Prequels as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.): Yes, for all of the fandom's complaints, the Disney trilogy reminded me why the prequels, while not perfect, were better than Disney's Trilogy. And for those wondering, no, it's not for the reasons you think. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: It's partly because, at this stage in my career, I've got nothing left to lose, and I figured that after watching the prequels and Disney Trilogy back-to-back, I would have a better idea. So may the force be with me as I count down my top ten reasons why The Star Wars Prequels are better than the Disney Star Wars Movies. (Cut to the Prequel posters as the Disney "Skywalker" movie posters appear as a pair of doors open and "Duel Of The Fates" play in the foreground, and both sets of posters are prepared with lightsabers and the Disney Movie posters have Darth Maul's dual-sided lightsaber and on the tips of the blades are "Rogue One: A Star Wars Story" and "Solo: A Star Wars Story" and the Prequels side has the words "Hindsight," "Effort," and "Time" on their sides and as the Duel begins Both sides carve into the walls "The Top Ten Reasons Why The Star Wars Prequels are Better Than The Disney Star Wars Movies" then the number appears as James says the number.)
TLOTA (V.O.): Number Ten
(Cut to the Trailers of The Prequels as James does a voiceover.)
10) The Trailers
TLOTA (V.O.): I know that for many, trailers are meant to entice fans into watching the movies, but here's the thing: When Phantom Menace's trailer was released, it was at the start of the Internet as we know it. We were hooked on the trailer of Phantom Menace, and we even bought tickets for movies we would never have wanted to watch if not for the fact that they were showing the trailer for Phantom Menace. That's why the "Wing Commander" movie with Freddie Prinze Jr. and Matthew Lillard had such a good box office return in the theaters and not for the film itself. The Disney Star Wars Movie trailers enticed us as much, but maybe we were partly excited about what Disney would do. After seeing the trailers, I admit I wanted to see the Disney Star Wars movies; however, I was more disappointed by Disney's Star Wars because it felt like they were rehashed from the original trilogy with minor changes. I was excited when I saw the prequels because they were different chapters of the Star Wars story. It was the story's beginning, and I wanted to know how that little boy became the greatest Icon of the past few decades.
(Cut to the duel as it progresses, and the number appears as James says the number)
TLOTA(V.O.): Number Nine
(Cut to the Weird Al music video "The Saga Begins" as James does a voiceover)
9) Weird Al's "The Saga Begins"
TLOTA (V.O.): I will talk about the music of John Williams later on, but those who are into Star Wars and Weird Al already had their fix with the song "Yoda" that came out in the 1980s, which was when "Empire Strikes Back" and "Return Of The Jedi." were the popular Star Wars Movies. So when Phantom Menace came out and what the music scene was like at the time, many people wondered what Weird Al would do. What did he give us? (Cut to "The Saga Begins" as it plays for ten seconds. Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: The plot of the movie! (Cut to "The Saga Begins" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.): And I don't mean like little points here and there; I mean he condenses the entire plot into a five-and-a-half-minute song, set to the tune of Don McLean's "American Pie.", and yet even with that, people went to see Phantom Menace in droves! Whether or not people saw it before or after hearing Werd Al's song is inconsequential. The fact is Weird Al gave us what to expect from this movie. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: What did Weird Al do for the Disney Sequels? (A tumbleweed rolls past James' desk) I wonder why.
(Cut to the duel as it progresses, and the number appears as James says the number)
TLOTA(V.O.): Number Eight
(Cut to the Prequels, Original Trilogy, and the Disney Sequels as James does a voiceover)
8)The Parallels between the Originals and the Prequels
TLOTA (V.O.): I have talked about this at great lengths, but the fact that The Prequels was the story of Anakin and Padme and the original trilogy was the story of Luke and Leia. With every left turn Anakin went, Luke turned right. Anakin loses his mom and slaughters the entire Tusken Raider tribe that took and tormented Shmi Skywalker to her death. Luke's Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru are murdered by the empire, and Luke stays true to finding his path to becoming a Jedi and seeking justice for his losses. Anakin loses his arm, and he slowly continues down the path of the Dark Side until he becomes Darth Vader; Luke gets a hand chopped off, and while he feels he's faltering, especially given the fact that Vader tells Luke that he is his father, Luke perseveres to not only redeem Anakin but the entire Skywalker family. Regarding the Skywalker family, Leia was so similar to Padme that it should surprise someone. When Leia watches her adopted homeworld of Alderaan be destroyed, it is probably the same feeling Padme had when the Trade Federation took over the planet Naboo. However, as Leia and Padme are cut from the same cloth, their taste in men sucks. Seriously, Padme, Anakin was barely out of diapers when you first meet, and then ten years later, you're in your twenties, and he's barely shaving at this point. And Leia, no wonder your kid went to the dark side once his dad felt like he failed both you and the kid; he went to the dark side just to heal himself from his parents being completely screwy, and I won't even go into how his mom frenched his uncle! That may be one thing I also saw in the Disney Sequels. How certain characters parallel the originals but to a lesser extent. Again, I said that the prequels are necessary to help understand the original trilogy, and I still stand by it. What do you need to understand the Disney Sequels? A sense of Deja Vu!
(Cut to the duel as it progresses, and the number appears as James says the number)
TLOTA(V.O.): Number Seven
(Cut to the posters of each of the Star Wars Posters as James does a voiceover)
7) The pacing between the movies
TLOTA (V.O.): So let's talk about how much time it took between when the original trilogy came out and the time it took in between for the prequels and the time it took in between for the Disney sequels, and I am going to not talk about the time between the trilogies. The original Star Wars: A New Hope came out in 1977; three years later, "The Empire Strikes Back," and three years after that came "Return Of The Jedi." Fast forward to 1999, and Phantom Menace came out, three years later, "Attack Of The Clones," and three years after, "Revenge Of The Sith." Fast forward to 2015 and "The Force Awakens." 2017, "The Last Jedi" was released, and in 2019, the last Star Wars movie, "The Rise Of Skywalker," was released. So, not counting both "Rogue One: A Star Wars Story" and "Solo: A Star Wars Story," which were released between the Disney Sequel Trilogy. There was a two-year gap. That extra year between the filming and post-production helped sand out any mistakes that could've been filmed. However, the quick turnaround didn't give us a chance to breathe. Those three years between the first, second, and third movies in the original and prequel trilogies without any filler pieces (Save for two pieces, which I will talk about in the number four spot) gave us time to see what else was out there. The constant influx of Star Wars media has diluted the strength of the movies and the franchise itself. Thankfully, they haven't made any more movies for now, and the series on Disney+ is their way of keeping interest without flooding theaters with inferior films.
(Cut to the duel as it progresses, and the number appears as James says the number)
TLOTA(V.O.): Number Six
(Cut to Palpatine, C-3PO, R2-D2, and Yoda in the prequels as James does a voiceover)
6) The Legacy characters
TLOTA (V.O.): I will be talking about Obi-Wan Kenobi soon enough, but for this part, I want to talk about the characters who were there for introductory purposes. Palpatine is there, so we can see his rise to power, eventually becoming the emperor and destroying the republic. C-3PO and R2-D2 are there to see how they connect to Luke and Leia as much as to Anakin and Padme. Yoda, once again performed by Frank Oz, had his battles with Dooku and Palpatine end with him not stopping any of that because he admitted he was blind to the clone army that was being built. If he was blind to that, he was oblivious to what was going on with Anakin and how Palpatine turned Anakin to Vader until it was too little, too late for the Jedi Order. The fact Palpatine, C-3PO & R2-D2 are used to further connections from the past as opposed to, say, having them just sprinkled in for the nostalgia along with somehow doing whatever they feel Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewbacca and making it up as they go, makes the Prequels somewhat better. We see how these characters connect better to the original trilogy. How they put these characters in was after sniffing super glue during the writing process.
(Cut to the duel as it progresses, and the number appears as James says the number)
TLOTA(V.O.): Number Five
(Cut to clips of Padme, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Mace Windu in the prequels as James does a voiceover)
5) Natalie Portman, Samuel L. Jackson, Ewan McGregor
TLOTA (V.O.): As much as people want to say, "Oh, the acting in the Prequels was horrendous," let me ask you this: "Did the actors in the Disney Sequels win any awards for their work in the Star Wars movies?" Thought so. Let's face it, the acting isn't a highlight for the prequels or sequels. But what keeps the prequels from becoming unbearable is the work of Natalie Portman as Padme, Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu, and Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi. Much like how Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, and The late Carrie Fisher were in the original trilogy, Samuel L Jackson, Natalie Portman, and Ewan McGregor were the glue that kept everything on track. They had to. Mace Windu had to be the arrogance of the Jedi, who was hellbent on keeping Anakin down. That arrogance turned into Mace's downfall and, sure enough, the downfall of the Jedi. Padme was the Eve to Anakin's Adam, and even though she was trying to keep him from sinning, the one time Adam did sin was what set many things in place for the universe to wound up. Obi-Wan was trying to be the father figure like Qui-Gon Jinn, as played by Liam Neeson, and brother to Anakin Skywalker, so when he failed at both after leaving baby Luke with Owen and Beru, it makes sense he had failed Anakin and decided the best way to protect Luke was to stay away from him as much as possible but be close enough to be there if he needed help. They also serve to move Anakin towards Vader, but that's for the number three spot. The crazy glue in the Disney Sequels was, of course, Rey, Poe, and Finn. And while they held their trilogy together, it was trying to hold together a skyscraper with a rubber band, if you understand, you understand.
(Cut to the duel as it progresses, and the number appears as James says the number)
TLOTA(V.O.): Number Four
(Cut to the "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" CGI series and the Genndy Tartakovsky "Star Wars: Clone Wars" Animated Mini-Series as James does a voiceover)
4) The "Clone Wars" cartoons
TLOTA (V.O.): The two "Clone Wars" series briefly expanded the emphasis of the Clone Wars we had heard about. The Genndy Tartakovsky "Clone Wars" series was primarily just a filler piece to help get from "Attack Of The Clones" to "Revenge of The Sith." It allowed Dave Filoni and his crew to expand on it by giving us Ahsoka Tano and more characters to help connect the movies and series. While Ahsoka was not mentioned in the Prequels, her character expanded in the Disney+ Star Wars shows, which is positive towards Disney's stewardship of Star Wars. The last time we had an animated series set before the original trilogy was the series "Ewoks" & "Droids." Both series were set after the prequel trilogy but before the original trilogy, much like with the series "Star Wars: Rebels," Both "Clone Wars" shows helped expand the franchise in a good way.
(Cut to the duel as it progresses, and the number appears as James says the number)
TLOTA(V.O.): Number Three
(Cut to the progression from Anakin to Darth Vader in the prequels as James does a voiceover)
3) The slow burn from Anakin to Darth Vader
TLOTA (V.O.): Many people wanted to see him immediately from the get-go, to briefly see Anakin be a Jedi and then turn to the dark side and be Darth Vader trying to end the Jedi in the rest of the prequels. But we wouldn't have known anything as to how, why, when, and What caused Anakin to turn to the dark side and then become the Darth Vader we've all turned into a mythic, unstoppable monster, which after watching the prequels was not the case. If anything, the reasons for his fall to the dark side was Mace Windu being so smugly superior, believing that Anakin needed to be knocked down because he had an ego towards Anakin, thinking he shouldn't be "The Chosen One" to bring balance so when Anakin cut his hand to show Mace his own hubris had gotten the best of him and what Palpatine did was cook the dude to what he deserved. Padme was the primary reason he went on the journey in the first place. Had Padme and Qui-Gon gone anywhere else, they would've avoided Anakin, yet Padme and Qui-Gon went to Watto's to get the parts for the hyperdrive, and as soon as Anakin, who was a kid, saw Padme and thought things that he shouldn't have, so once they married, he was doomed. No matter how much Obi-Wan Kenobi tried to fill Qui-Gon's shoes and keep Anakin from being around both Palpatine and Padme, he knew once he had his troops turn on him and then saw the deaths of the Jedi at the temple, Anakin was lost, no matter how much he tried, he failed Anakin, but he wouldn't fail Luke or Leia. But if that happened in the first prequel, he would've had to figure out how to do the other two prequels on the fly. Kind of reminiscent of more recent times if you ask me. But I digress; the fact is clear if we had gotten Vader from the get-go, we wouldn't have known the man that became the monster. Sometimes, the slow burn is the one that gets it right.
(Cut to the duel as it progresses, and The Episode One and Episode Two posters are killed by the Disney Star Wars movie posters, and the number appears as James says the number)
TLOTA(V.O.): Number Two
(Cut to clips of the Prequels as James does a voiceover.)
2) The Music
As much as people will admit that John Williams was one of the primary reasons all the trilogies worked, John was more restricted in the Disney Trilogy because of the familiarity of the songs. When Duel Of The Fates was released, it was instantly recognizable because John had the London Symphony Orchestra. He had hit upon one track in particular in The Phantom Menace called "Duel Of The Fates" that had the build-up to an epic feel, that had a flow, it had a sensibility that made people clench their jaws and say "YES JOHN! KEEP IT UP," and he did use it subtly in "Attack Of The Clones" as we see Anakin race to rescue Shmi, and then the final battle between Palpatine and Yoda. Now, yes, The song that they use for the love theme of Anakin and Padme was not as good; it was a gentile song, and it did show how close after a decade apart where they were and how they felt towards one another, but thankfully John saved the best of his Prequel work with the "Revenge Of The Sith" as we feel the pain of how Anakin falls to the Dark Side and the final fall of the old Republic.
(Cut to the duel as it progresses, and Episode Three goes to town, eventually slicing all three of the posters in half to their demises, and the number appears as James says the number)
TLOTA(V.O.): And the Number One Reason Why The Star Wars Prequels are better than the Disney Star Wars movies is...
(Cut to clips of the Prequels as James does a voiceover)
1) GEORGE LUCAS KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING!
TLOTA (V.O.): Please know that I have never said the following when it comes to George Lucas; he is the most creative writer, the greatest filmmaker, and the most significant movie producer, nor will I fully ever defend all of his ideas. But at least when he plans something, he knows what he is doing. He also knew when it came to Jar-Jar Binks that Jar-Jar was the canary in the coal mine, and George knew when he heard how much the fans hated the character; he went into damage control mode and had to set it up that Jar-Jar had to really F up in "Attack Of The Clones." and how could he do that? Let's make Jar-Jar the guy who hands the galaxy to Palpatine on a Silver platter! He knew so much had to go wrong to get things right. He knew that casting which actor he wanted to play the youngest Anakin in "Phantom Menace" and then the one we'd get in "Attack Of The Clones" and "Revenge Of The Sith" would have to get people interested. If he had hired Leonardo DiCaprio or someone of a high caliber, it might have been more appealing, but to see one of them struggle through such dialogue would have turned those fans away. George Lucas made it clear that it had to be Anakin on screen. I know I will be barbequed for what I'm about to say. Still, by hiring Jake Lloyd to play Anakin in Phantom Menace and Hayden Christensen in "Attack Of The Clones" and "Revenge Of The Sith," George knew that Anakin would be performed to the caliber the role deserved. Let's face it: both Hayden and Natalie Portman look like younger versions of Mark Hamill and the late Carrie Fisher. He also knew he wanted to see the fall of the Republic, and that point had to happen slowly. George Lucas knew how to handle the Fandom Menace by giving the audience what they wanted when he felt they deserved it, not by doing it when they said they wanted it. The Disney Sequels were pandering for the almighty dollar, and what Lucasfilms under Kathleen Kennedy has done is nothing short of making the Star Wars franchise nearly unwatchable. George Lucas may have hurt the movies with the prequels, but at least it was a pain from which we could recover! Thus, George's work with the prequels and all that he did right, along with his knowing what he was doing, are the number one reasons why the prequels are better than the Disney sequels! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: And while I would usually say, "If there's anyone who wants to say where I'm wrong and how Disney did the Star Wars Franchise better than George Lucas, let me know in the comment section." But I know you won't comment, so I can get this out. (Cut to the Disney "Star Wars" Skywalker movies as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.): For many fans, I will give the Disney movies time to grow. Yes, it took time for us to accept the Prequels as better than they were for all their faults, but given what little time we have left, I say we give ourselves a break from Disney's "Star Wars" works and look around at other fandoms to like. It would be healthy for your likes and dislikes, even with the Star Wars franchise. When the 2009 "Star Trek" movie came out, It was perfectly timed because I had burned my love of "Star Wars" to the ground. Then came the "MCU," another breath of fresh air before returning to the "Star Wars" movies. So, time away from the film franchise before rewatching or returning to them is a good thing, believe it or not, and while yes, I indulge in "The Mandalorian" or "Obi-Wan Kenobi." It is something outside the Star Wars Skywalker movies and the Star Wars Movies. And yes, maybe in a few more years, we'll appreciate the Disney sequels differently as opposed to the death knell of the Star Wars Franchise. (Cut to James Faraci The Last Of The Americans physically)
TLOTA: So, let's see how this is going to go. I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, and That's my opinion! (Cut to two hours later as James looks over the numbers) Well, I'm not surprised that one person is watching this review. Oh, hey, let's check out Social Media. Yep, just link me to Trump and Hitler, even though I support LGBTQIA+ and supporting other good causes, which includes making sure Rapists get the death penalty; just because of my Political association, I am automatically evil! Even, OH MY FUCKING GOD! Eliza Dushku and several other former associates are joining the fucking bandwagon to see me be sent to jail because I'm a Republican! You know what, I'm done! My career is destroyed, and my personal life is dead; WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT OF CONTINUING IF ALL I GET IS FAILURE AFTER FAILURE! TO BE MADE A GOD DAMNED JOKE BY EVERYONE?! (Swirls of smoke envelop the scene, and we cut to James as he falls and floats in the middle of a crimson void.)
(A voice from nowhere): At last we meet!
TLOTA: What the hell? Where are you? WHO ARE YOU?
(The same voice from nowhere): I am responsible for returning you to the path I need you to be on. I am the one to end the frivolous relationship with that woman. I sent you all the obstacles; I am the one who had to send you back to the reality that you are insignificant (A woman in a hoverchair, dressed like Madame Web, played by Olivia Horvath, appears). I am the one who told you to go west to ensure that everything had to go according to destiny, including when I did it and what I did. You may call me Mistress Net! And now to ensure you become what needs to be made into. (Cut to James with a grimaced anger on his face. Fade to black)
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