(Scene begins as a finger taps an app on a watch as it opens a portal the 1994 American Gladiators theme song plays , and it cuts to different images of James as the characters he’s played until it cuts to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans’” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, and Nick Yaun as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca & Rebecca and Nick Yaun” is shown as it then slides away to different images of John Ross and Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, and Ed Champion as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “John Ross Santos, Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion” is shown as it then slides away to different images of Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath and the credits of “Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” is shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites, and Blues as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions. Edited by Eric Kurtzke and Paulo Fonseca. Written and Directed by James Faraci” as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an outlined image of James as he morphs into “The Last Of The Americans” and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a white background, and the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays. Cut to James sitting in his office)
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours, and welcome to another edition of “Connect The Plots” (Cut to a scene of James trying to connect certain things together like the theatrical version of “Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers” & “Halloween: H20”, All the movie adaptations of Stephen King, Superman Returns to the original Salkind Superman movies, the first three X-Men movies to the newer ones and the “Wolverine” & “Deadpool” movies before cutting to James strapped down in a straight jacket all the while a kid sings “Connect The Plots La-La-La!” before panning down to see anything that might have a minor connection spell the words “Connect The Plots” before cutting to clips of “CLERKS,” “MALLRATS,” & “Chasing Amy” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
As Kevin Smith built up his universe, it appears that the only connection that would connect it is that it is set in New Jersey, The Quick Stop, and, of course, Jay and Silent Bob! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
But while I was working on The Different Cuts Of “CLERKS,” I found a scene that they had made that they couldn’t do but would recreate through the same animation style of that short-lived Animated series based on "CLERKS." It has a surprising connection that didn't come to me until then. So, let's take a look at the scene in question. (Cut to "Clerks: Animated Deleted Scene: The Funeral" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
The scene opens with an intro from Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier as they discuss why they didn't shoot the scene, and given the budget, I can understand why. We then see the animated version of Dante and Randal as they enter the funeral home; Randal talks about the Death Cards, you know, those cards that have at funerals that have a brief prayer and a photo that gives people a small amount of peace as that goes on Dante comes upon Alyssa Jones from both "MALLRATS" and "CHASING AMY" voiced by Alyssa Jones herself, Joey Lauren Adams. Alyssa and Dante talk about the funeral, why Dante smells like Shoe Polish, the game show that Julie Dwyer was supposed to be on, and what led to Julie's demise, and then discuss Julie's passing and Caitlin's engagement to Sang the Asian Design Major. Randal returns to call Alyssa by her nickname "Fingercuffs," only for the events at the funeral home to unfold as Dante and Randal have a mishap with Julie's parents, Dante losing the keys to the shops in the casket, Randal knocking over the casket and Julie's body falling out with Dante and Randal running for their lives. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Now, if you missed it, the connection was right there. Joey Lauren Adams' Alyssa Jones! (Cut to clips of Mallrats with Chasing Amy and as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Alyssa Jones' sister Tricia is in "Mallrats," and for all I know, Tricia told Alyssa about the events that happened to her as Alyssa went to Julie Dwyer's funeral. That doesn't mean that she had all the knowledge of the events that were going on at Eden Praire Mall, even though she may have also heard about them from Jay & Silent Bob. Why did Randal call Alyssa "Fingercuffs"? Remember, Randal Graves is an asshole and would act the way he would. He needs to get laid or succeed outside of the little niche life he carved for himself. But I'm getting ahead of myself. The one thought I have is this... How much do Alyssa, Tricia, and Gwen Turner affect the outcome of the events of this connection? Well, if Alyssa wasn't at the funeral of Julie Dwyer, then she would've had first-hand accounts of the events of "Mallrats" but would've served no purpose in being in the deleted scene. However, I'm sure no one would miss out on Randal being an asshole, even if he were to use an inappropriate nickname on someone. And if Alyssa was also at Eden Prairie for "Mallrats," I'm certain she would've gotten the video to "Silent Bob" a little too late, but not enough to affect the ending that much. But the connection works. As I liked the scene, it didn't affect the movie's likeability and the events in the movies in the View Askewniverse. In the grand scheme of the movie's universe, this moment is a nice nod to continuity between movies. Nooch. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, and that's my opinion. (James walks away as it fades to James Faraci looking more despondent as he finally makes his way west as far as he rows towards and eventually comes upon an island.)
James Faraci (Audio only):
Well, I don't think I can go any further unless I go to this island and stay there to die. I've lost control of so much. I've lost my mind, my heart, and I think a large portion of my soul. All I feel now is sadness and a sense of hurt. I have lost, so now let me lay here and die. (James hears voices as he looks around.)
James Faraci:
Where are you?! Can't I ever have peace?! (A Female voice provided by Hunter Deno screams, "We will give you peace! Attack him now, Verve!") Who? (Julia Alexa Miller throws herself to attack James as she lands; James screams in pain as she touches James temples. The energy courses through him into her, restoring Julia Alexa Miller to her human form, and she remembers everything.)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Oh my god, I remember everything; oh no! James! (James wakes up)
James Faraci:
Alex, what happened? (A series of waves are rising as James shouts to run as it fades to black.)
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