(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James in his office physically)
TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and the views I'm about to express are that of my own & some of yours. So last April before going into lockdown, I talked about the difference between Cooking Shows and Reality-TV. One of the series I talked about was one of my favorite series of all time "Good Eats" (Cut to clips of "Good Eats" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
The recipe for the series was simple, toss in elements of "Mr. Wizard", "Julia Child", & "Monty Python's Flying Circus" into a cooking show. The series was hosted by Alton Brown using both science and humor, Alton made cooking and cooking science fun. The series lasted from 1999 to 2011 and it wasn't canceled like many would think. In fact, Alton retired the series in favor of hosting duties for the series "Cutthroat Kitchen" and "Iron Chef America. However by 2017 Alton announced not one but two series continuations of "Good Eats", one being a spin-off showing differences in how he makes the recipes from the original series and how he does them now called "Good Eats: Reloaded" and the latter being a return to form with "Good Eats: The Return". Both series started in 2019 and Alton seeing how the Food Network was changing decided to end both series ended both series. However, it surprises how much a lot of the material holds up and the recipes still hold up. I can still watch his episodes on Steak and enjoy the episode and the steak. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
However, since we're still in October, and Halloween is around the corner, I know what many of you are thinking "How can a cooking show be scary?". To which I say, You really haven't seen this show! (Cut to the title card of the episode "The House That Dripped Chocolate", then clips of "The House That Dripped Chocolate" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
While the title is based on an old horror movie "The House That Dripped Blood", "The House That Dripped Chocolate" sees Alton trying to make two homemade versions of confectionary classics while having to deal with a demonic entity that wants to kill Alton before he cooks up the confections. But is the episode and recipes scary or will they be easier than Marshmallow fluff? Well, we're not only going to review the episode, I will be making the recipes as we go along. (Cut to James in his kitchen ready to cook.)
TLOTA:
That's right we're cooking and reviewing so join us as we enter "The House That Dripped Chocolate"! (Lightning crashes and James laughs maniacally as it cuts to "The House That Dripped Chocolate" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
The episode begins with Alton as he tells a tale of his Aunt Gert and how she'd scare him if he went near her candy jar on her Coffee Table and that come Halloween there is a price we all pay for gustatory pleasure and that we would be there to see as a book of recipes, a dark and stormy night and a cook who has to deal with a curse while making these candies. Something to note, All the acts in this episode open with Alton bringing us up to speed to where the story is going and those moments are in color. The actual story and cooking portions are done in Black & White, and to me, that works. Also, there will be informational tidbits that are a staple in all of the "Good Eats" episodes. We soon find the Alton in the story zooming on down country roads to take him home to his place where he belongs. As he comes into a local town, he stops at a bookshop that got some books in from an estate sale, a lot of them being cookbooks. One of the cookbooks had a hidden book inside and bought that as well. Getting home that night he decided to put his desires to decipher what he had gotten, which turned out to be a recipe book for two confectionaries. The problem then was to translate the language which turned out to be some form of Slovakian. Alton scanned the pages to someone who can help with any other part of the book. (Show Alton as he gets his ingredients. Cut to James as he grabs his own ingredients.)
TLOTA:
Okay, I don't have Corn Flakes, I have oatmeal which I can toast in my toaster oven and I am out of pistachios, so I will substitute with Almonds. Let's hope this will work. (Cut to "The House That Dripped Chocolate" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
As Alton continues to prep the first recipe, A strange girl has been haunting him even jinxing his food processor. (Show clip of the food processor not working properly as the blade spins with the top off and then goes flying deep into the kitchen. Cut to James as he gets the processor to work properly.)
TLOTA:
Huh, nothing weird happening yet! (Cut to "The House That Dripped Chocolate" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
As Alton makes his nut, sugar, cereal combination, he also mixes his confectionary syrup, that's right, there's a syrup involved, and something interesting that happens as Alton cooks there are moments in which the power goes out, one time going out while talking about the syrup and thankfully Alton always cooks with gas. The phone rings as Alton gets a call about the runes on the pages leading to a curse. Alton not buying it decides to carry on with the candy. As the syrup hit two hundred and eighty-five degrees Fahrenheit he gets it to a cooler temp and lays it out on a silicone mat on a half sheet pan. (James following suit as he gets the syrup to a 12x19 rectangular shape and mixing the nut mix over 2/3rds of the syrup.)
TLOTA:
This stuff is warm, thankfully I will wait two and a half minutes and then fold it into thirds as Alton suggested. (Cut to "The House That Dripped Chocolate" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
However, Alton has his own problems as I kid you not, his rolling pin goes awol but it is thankfully returned by that demonic girl creature as she lets him have it! And talking from experience, a hit like that had me seeing stars and tweeting birds. After taking a hit like that Alton finds the candy less pliable but thankfully Alton's rolling pin gets it back to the original size and tries to put it back in the oven which decided to smack Alton stupid. Tending to his wounds, Alton rolls it and folds it again. After a brief distraction from Alton's lawyer, Alton's biggest knife goes awol as well as Alton rolls the candy back to its original dimensions and cuts them to about 32 candies. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
That's odd, I got 48 candies, Well, let's see how Alton tempers some milk chocolate for coating. (Show Alton's double boiler set up as the chocolate melts. Cut to James as he nearly sets the towel in the water on fire.) Phew, thankfully I got it right, this time. Let's move on. (Cut to "The House That Dripped Chocolate" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
As Alton talks about how to temper Chocolate, that demonic girl creature decides to give Alton's chef's knife back to him (Show clip of the knife going through the foot.) through the foot!. Alton makes another trip to the first aid kit then after getting the chocolate was tempered and Alton, using an old BBQ fork, coats the candies in melted chocolate. Trying to enjoy one that demonic girl creature tries to break his hand. One more trip to the first aid kit and Alton was ready to make some Peppermint rounds! Not gonna say it because of course, yeah if he can't then I won't. As he gathers his ingredients, so shall I. (Show clip of Alton as he gets his ingredients, cut to James as he gets his ingredients. Cut to "The House That Dripped Chocolate" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
After getting his egg white and confectioner's sugar combo to 160, Alton takes the mixture to his stand mixer, added the corn syrup and peppermint oil, mixed the remaining powdered sugar into the mixture. Alton then tries to help us to understand where it lands smack dab in the middle of a spectrum between Royal Icing and Marshmallow Fluff. Dusting the work surface with corn starch and rolling out the filling to a quarter-inch thickness, Alton then grabs his ring cutter and cuts out as much as he could from the mass. As Alton goes for the right Chocolate, this time dark chocolate, His Stand mixer goes on the attack! Thankfully the power goes out just as two private investigators take the cursed tome out of Alton's hands and Alton finishes making the Peppermint pucks in peace. It just so happens that had he answered a call thirty seconds before biting into one...WELL...... (Show ending of "The House That Dripped Chocolate". Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
Yeah, I'm just gonna ship these off to Chicago let those schmucks take in the curse! (Cut to "The House That Dripped Chocolate" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
So that was "The House That Dripped Chocolate" and WOW this was a scary scenario involving two homemade versions of two favorite candies that are really good in their own rights. The production values are fantastic, the writing was incredible, the host is entertaining, and let's face it the recipes were just perfect even if I have chosen not to try them. And this wasn't the first time Alton has either had to deal with Halloween or horror-based characters. (Cut to clips of "The Bulb Of The Night" and "Give Peas A Chance" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA:
He dedicated an entire episode to cooking Garlic as "Count Vlad" from Transylvania came to him to help him over his fears of the allium! Of course, Vlad was dust by the end of the episode but let's face it when you cook all night and lose track of time something does go wrong. Alton also did a parody of The Exorcist and the subject was of course Peas! Because in case you didn't know Pea Soup was used for demon vomit in "The Exorcist".(Cut to "The House That Dripped Chocolate" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Regardless if you haven't seen it, then I strongly suggest you find it and give it a watch, try the recipes, and enjoy some rather fine candies. (Cut to James in his kitchen as he grabs a peppermint candy and promptly throws it in with the other peppermint candies heading to Chicago!)
TLOTA:
DEFINITELY BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY! I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and that's my opinion!
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