(Scene begins as
“Laid” by James plays in the foreground while a group of execs played by Team
TLOTA trade their Charts, Graphs, etc., for pie baking utensils as they make
the perfect pie crust then fill it with the nastiest bodily fluids possible then
slap it in the oven, pull it out and the pie explodes. Cut to later as they
clean up the mess and notice an entire series of movies. Cut to the outside of
James’ office as he picks them up and sighs as the door closes as the words
“American Pie” Bakery” are seen. Cut to James in his office.)
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. In 1999, apparently there was a list of movies that were meant to be a good substitute for watching “Star Wars: Episode 1: The Phantom Menace” and near the top of the list was a little known movie called “American Pie” (Cut to the title card of “American Pie” then clips from the movie as James does a voiceover)
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. In 1999, apparently there was a list of movies that were meant to be a good substitute for watching “Star Wars: Episode 1: The Phantom Menace” and near the top of the list was a little known movie called “American Pie” (Cut to the title card of “American Pie” then clips from the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
This movie somehow became the biggest sleeper hit 1999. But how did that happen and how did it become a successful enough franchise to have so many movies. Well from starting now until March we’re going to look at all of them. (Cut to James physically)
This movie somehow became the biggest sleeper hit 1999. But how did that happen and how did it become a successful enough franchise to have so many movies. Well from starting now until March we’re going to look at all of them. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And since there are eight movies, including the Straight to DVD stuff, I’ve got no time to waste let’s dive right in with our first slice of “American Pie” (Cut to clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
And since there are eight movies, including the Straight to DVD stuff, I’ve got no time to waste let’s dive right in with our first slice of “American Pie” (Cut to clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
All right we’re quickly introduced to young Jim Levinstein played by Jason Biggs as he tries to alleviate himself while watching scrambled porn on Cable, So, yeah here’s where everything shows its age because had the filmmakers waited, he could’ve… Well… I hate to do this but well… (Cut to James)
All right we’re quickly introduced to young Jim Levinstein played by Jason Biggs as he tries to alleviate himself while watching scrambled porn on Cable, So, yeah here’s where everything shows its age because had the filmmakers waited, he could’ve… Well… I hate to do this but well… (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Paulo? Nick? Eric? John? Mike? Andrew? Ed? (Cut to the Door as Paulo, Nick, Eric, John, Mike, Andrew & Ed show up and Join James)
Paulo? Nick? Eric? John? Mike? Andrew? Ed? (Cut to the Door as Paulo, Nick, Eric, John, Mike, Andrew & Ed show up and Join James)
Paulo Fonseca, Nick
Yaun, Eric Kurtzke, John Santos, Mike Santos, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion
(In Unison):
We’re ready. (Cut to James)
We’re ready. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Let’s do this! (James stands up and the instrumental of “The Internet Is For Porn” play as they sing Trekkie’s lines)
Let’s do this! (James stands up and the instrumental of “The Internet Is For Porn” play as they sing Trekkie’s lines)
Men of Team TLOTA
(Singing In Harmony):
The Internet is for porn! The Internet is for Porn! Why do you think the net was born? Porn! Porn! Porn!
The Internet is for porn! The Internet is for Porn! Why do you think the net was born? Porn! Porn! Porn!
TLOTA:
Okay, now we got that out of our systems. Let’s move on! (James grabs the right side of the review pulling in the clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
Okay, now we got that out of our systems. Let’s move on! (James grabs the right side of the review pulling in the clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
As Jim tries to go to bed, his mom played by Molly Cheek and his father played by Eugene Levy discover he’s watching something more adult than what he lets on. After that bit of embarrassment, we soon meet Oz played by Chris Klein and for the record, I’m not making the jokes you think I would with something like this it’s called decorum. While Oz and Jim talk about well what Hollywood thinks teens talk about we’re soon introduced to Kevin played by Thomas Ian Nicholas and Vicky played by continual Internet Reviewer fodder for a train wreck of a career Tara Reid as apparently Vicky got into the college of her dreams, Kevin is worried he might lose her to some College hunk! (Cut to James physically)
As Jim tries to go to bed, his mom played by Molly Cheek and his father played by Eugene Levy discover he’s watching something more adult than what he lets on. After that bit of embarrassment, we soon meet Oz played by Chris Klein and for the record, I’m not making the jokes you think I would with something like this it’s called decorum. While Oz and Jim talk about well what Hollywood thinks teens talk about we’re soon introduced to Kevin played by Thomas Ian Nicholas and Vicky played by continual Internet Reviewer fodder for a train wreck of a career Tara Reid as apparently Vicky got into the college of her dreams, Kevin is worried he might lose her to some College hunk! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Dude, trust me, you will thank your lucky stars it won’t work out! (Cut to clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
Dude, trust me, you will thank your lucky stars it won’t work out! (Cut to clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
We’re soon introduced to several other character like Jessica played by future “Blade Trinity” victim Natasha Lyonne and Michele played by constant second banana Alyson Hannigan as we see their day to day lives. We also meet Finch played by Eddie Kaye Thomas as he and apparently everyone is psyched about a party at Stiffler’s and speaking of Stiffler, we soon see him in all his obnoxious glory played by Sean William Scott. As they prep for Stiffler’s party we hear about how “Third Base” is like Apple Pie. Not a good analogy but what do I know? Meanwhile at Stiffler’s party we’re introduced to Nadia played by a young Shannon Elizabeth as a character named Sherman is looking to get some. Meanwhile as Jim makes contact to Nadia and fails faster than you can say Hindenburg! Stiffler in the meanwhile tosses Michelle and her friends in band from the party. Just as Oz’s date with his College date basically shuts him down with College intellect when it comes to dating! As Jim and Oz bemoan how they tanked with their women, Kevin and Vicky get their moment ruined by Stiffler until he notices a certain cup of brew with a certain fluid and faster than my buddy Rowdy can grab his barf bucket, Stiffler drinks Beer skunked with Splooge then blows it in every way possible. I apologize for being so crude, but if the movie isn’t going to be subtle, I can try to be a little better than the material unless I must be graphic. (Cut to James physically)
We’re soon introduced to several other character like Jessica played by future “Blade Trinity” victim Natasha Lyonne and Michele played by constant second banana Alyson Hannigan as we see their day to day lives. We also meet Finch played by Eddie Kaye Thomas as he and apparently everyone is psyched about a party at Stiffler’s and speaking of Stiffler, we soon see him in all his obnoxious glory played by Sean William Scott. As they prep for Stiffler’s party we hear about how “Third Base” is like Apple Pie. Not a good analogy but what do I know? Meanwhile at Stiffler’s party we’re introduced to Nadia played by a young Shannon Elizabeth as a character named Sherman is looking to get some. Meanwhile as Jim makes contact to Nadia and fails faster than you can say Hindenburg! Stiffler in the meanwhile tosses Michelle and her friends in band from the party. Just as Oz’s date with his College date basically shuts him down with College intellect when it comes to dating! As Jim and Oz bemoan how they tanked with their women, Kevin and Vicky get their moment ruined by Stiffler until he notices a certain cup of brew with a certain fluid and faster than my buddy Rowdy can grab his barf bucket, Stiffler drinks Beer skunked with Splooge then blows it in every way possible. I apologize for being so crude, but if the movie isn’t going to be subtle, I can try to be a little better than the material unless I must be graphic. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Trust me it’s not gonna get easier for me as this goes on. I’m going to take a break, watch something more intellectual like the latest Law & Order SVU episode.
Trust me it’s not gonna get easier for me as this goes on. I’m going to take a break, watch something more intellectual like the latest Law & Order SVU episode.
(The scene fades to black before
cutting to James as he stands on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The
Americans” on it before fading to black then cutting to James as he stands on top
of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to
the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Not long after that we’re soon introduced to the acronym “MILF” which of course means “Mother I’d like to… (Cut to clip of Olivia Benson from the “Law & Order: SVU” Season 10 episode as she says “Oh, I know what it means” Cut back to the movie as James continues his voiceover) After Kevin blows his chance with Vicky, we cut to the next day as the four of them make a pact to lose their virginity by Graduation. (Show clip of “The Pact”. Cut to James physically as he laughs)
Not long after that we’re soon introduced to the acronym “MILF” which of course means “Mother I’d like to… (Cut to clip of Olivia Benson from the “Law & Order: SVU” Season 10 episode as she says “Oh, I know what it means” Cut back to the movie as James continues his voiceover) After Kevin blows his chance with Vicky, we cut to the next day as the four of them make a pact to lose their virginity by Graduation. (Show clip of “The Pact”. Cut to James physically as he laughs)
TLOTA (Laughing while
talking):
Oh you four, you stand about as much of a chance of getting some as me watching the New York Jets winning the Super Bowl, but we’ll see come this fall. (Cut to clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
Oh you four, you stand about as much of a chance of getting some as me watching the New York Jets winning the Super Bowl, but we’ll see come this fall. (Cut to clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
So yeah, the four lay down the ground rules for their pact and they prepare in any way they can as we see… WAIT A SECOND! (Record scratches as the footage stops) JIM HAS A COMPUTER IN HIS ROOM?! (Cut to James physically)
So yeah, the four lay down the ground rules for their pact and they prepare in any way they can as we see… WAIT A SECOND! (Record scratches as the footage stops) JIM HAS A COMPUTER IN HIS ROOM?! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
I…DID… AN ENTIRE CHORUS OF “THE INTERNET IS FOR PORN” FOR FRICKING NOTHING?! One moment! (Cut to James as he walks out of his office as he passes by The ladies of Team TLOTA who have complaints and James walks by them grabbing their written complaints, reading them, heading down the stairs and a loud “F” Bomb is exploded as a Church Organ off-screen drowns out the impact of it, James comes through the door a lot more calm and walks past the ladies of Team TLOTA)
I…DID… AN ENTIRE CHORUS OF “THE INTERNET IS FOR PORN” FOR FRICKING NOTHING?! One moment! (Cut to James as he walks out of his office as he passes by The ladies of Team TLOTA who have complaints and James walks by them grabbing their written complaints, reading them, heading down the stairs and a loud “F” Bomb is exploded as a Church Organ off-screen drowns out the impact of it, James comes through the door a lot more calm and walks past the ladies of Team TLOTA)
Rebecca Yaun:
Damn! That was the loudest profanity I ever heard, while I wasn’t in bed with Nick! (The other ladies look at Rebecca. Cut to clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
Damn! That was the loudest profanity I ever heard, while I wasn’t in bed with Nick! (The other ladies look at Rebecca. Cut to clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
As Kevin tries to get back with Vicki we discover Oz has joined the Chorus and notices Heather played by Mena Suvari as well as seeing an untapped resource for well (Cut to clip of Batman Returns as Max Shreck says “Unlimited Poon tang!” Cut back to the movie as James continues his voiceover) While that goes on Jim’s dad decides to share his own “Stash” of rather adult material and some unnecessary advice. Trust me when I say Jim’s dad is not subtle though because it is Eugene Levy, he does his best to make the material funny! Meanwhile A young girl is enamored with Finch and Kevin offers to help her out. Also, apparently talking to his brother Tom played by Casey Affleck about his situation with inherits the rights to use what is known as “The Bible”? What is “The Bible” outside of the good book in church? Apparently, it’s a special book filled with tips and tricks on how to land the right woman! (Cut to James as he scoffs)
As Kevin tries to get back with Vicki we discover Oz has joined the Chorus and notices Heather played by Mena Suvari as well as seeing an untapped resource for well (Cut to clip of Batman Returns as Max Shreck says “Unlimited Poon tang!” Cut back to the movie as James continues his voiceover) While that goes on Jim’s dad decides to share his own “Stash” of rather adult material and some unnecessary advice. Trust me when I say Jim’s dad is not subtle though because it is Eugene Levy, he does his best to make the material funny! Meanwhile A young girl is enamored with Finch and Kevin offers to help her out. Also, apparently talking to his brother Tom played by Casey Affleck about his situation with inherits the rights to use what is known as “The Bible”? What is “The Bible” outside of the good book in church? Apparently, it’s a special book filled with tips and tricks on how to land the right woman! (Cut to James as he scoffs)
TLOTA:
As if that works! (Cut to clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
As if that works! (Cut to clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Meanwhile we get the moment that this movie is known for. (Cut to clip of Jim putting his privates into an apple pie, then cut to clip of “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back” as Jason Biggs complains about how he’s known for putting his privates into an apple pie! Cut back to the movie as Jim puts it in the Pie and Jim’s dad says “Well, we’ll just tell your mother that, that we ate it all” Cut to James physically)
Meanwhile we get the moment that this movie is known for. (Cut to clip of Jim putting his privates into an apple pie, then cut to clip of “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back” as Jason Biggs complains about how he’s known for putting his privates into an apple pie! Cut back to the movie as Jim puts it in the Pie and Jim’s dad says “Well, we’ll just tell your mother that, that we ate it all” Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Well folks, that’s one way to ruin a pie! (Cut to clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
Well folks, that’s one way to ruin a pie! (Cut to clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
As Kevin becomes more knowledgeable thanks to “The Bible”, Oz shows off his Lacrosse skills to Heather and the two start to get more intimate and Heather asks Oz to the prom. Meanwhile Kevin makes up for his stupidity by making Vicky well… (Cut to Kevin making Vicki Orgasm and Kevin popping up as signs of him getting certain STDs every time he pops up while making her Orgasm. Cut back to the movie as James does his voiceover) As Jim’s dad continues to tiptoe through the minefield on a Pogo Stick with the subtle advice. Jim finally talks to Nadia and invites her back to his place for studying. Meanwhile Oz apparently blows it with Heather. Just as that goes on, Jim blurts out that he could post them being on the internet. Again, I went through the whole “Internet is for Porn” gag already. In the meanwhile, Oz decides to get back into Heather’s good graces by Volunteering to sing a duet on Saturday with her. (Cut to clip of Captain America: The Winter Soldier as The Falcon tries to outrun the destruction of the Triskelion and screams “NOT AN OPTION!” Cut back to the movie as James continues his voiceover) You see he has big game on that day, what to do? No time for resolution now as we get… (Show clip of Nadia as she gets undressed and everyone enjoys it. Cut to James as he walks away and goes into the Kitchen of the Studio, sipping on some Hot Chocolate when Julia Alexa Miller walks in)
As Kevin becomes more knowledgeable thanks to “The Bible”, Oz shows off his Lacrosse skills to Heather and the two start to get more intimate and Heather asks Oz to the prom. Meanwhile Kevin makes up for his stupidity by making Vicky well… (Cut to Kevin making Vicki Orgasm and Kevin popping up as signs of him getting certain STDs every time he pops up while making her Orgasm. Cut back to the movie as James does his voiceover) As Jim’s dad continues to tiptoe through the minefield on a Pogo Stick with the subtle advice. Jim finally talks to Nadia and invites her back to his place for studying. Meanwhile Oz apparently blows it with Heather. Just as that goes on, Jim blurts out that he could post them being on the internet. Again, I went through the whole “Internet is for Porn” gag already. In the meanwhile, Oz decides to get back into Heather’s good graces by Volunteering to sing a duet on Saturday with her. (Cut to clip of Captain America: The Winter Soldier as The Falcon tries to outrun the destruction of the Triskelion and screams “NOT AN OPTION!” Cut back to the movie as James continues his voiceover) You see he has big game on that day, what to do? No time for resolution now as we get… (Show clip of Nadia as she gets undressed and everyone enjoys it. Cut to James as he walks away and goes into the Kitchen of the Studio, sipping on some Hot Chocolate when Julia Alexa Miller walks in)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Hey James, how’s the review going? (Cut to James sitting with a cup of Hot Chocolate.)
Hey James, how’s the review going? (Cut to James sitting with a cup of Hot Chocolate.)
TLOTA:
In a word, Disastrous! (Julia Alexa Miller walks over to James)
In a word, Disastrous! (Julia Alexa Miller walks over to James)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Talk to me… Please.
Talk to me… Please.
TLOTA:
Okay, lets say you had a crush on someone when you were younger, You discover there is nothing between yourself and your crush, then you see something that reminded you why you fell for your crush in the first place, is it wrong to have the feelings you had then where you are now?
Okay, lets say you had a crush on someone when you were younger, You discover there is nothing between yourself and your crush, then you see something that reminded you why you fell for your crush in the first place, is it wrong to have the feelings you had then where you are now?
Julia Alexa Miller:
Totally lost
Totally lost
TLOTA:
It’s American Pie and I’m seeing the infamous Webcam moment of Nadia as played by Shannon Elizabeth and she’s undressed!
It’s American Pie and I’m seeing the infamous Webcam moment of Nadia as played by Shannon Elizabeth and she’s undressed!
Julia Alexa Miller:
Oh I see, and you had tried not to think of it.
Oh I see, and you had tried not to think of it.
TLOTA:
Exactly because for me when I want a relationship, I want to touch someone through their Minds and Hearts first, then go for the rest of the body.
Exactly because for me when I want a relationship, I want to touch someone through their Minds and Hearts first, then go for the rest of the body.
Julia Alexa Miller:
That’s a great way of trying to get through to someone the right way, but even you had urges, still do, don’t ya?
That’s a great way of trying to get through to someone the right way, but even you had urges, still do, don’t ya?
TLOTA:
Yeah, I mean she probably doesn’t look as good as (Show image of Shannon Elizabeth 2020 and James says “WOW!”. Cut to James and Julia Alexa Miller) Look, if you’re okay with me well having those urges but knowing I have you, it’s all good, right?
Yeah, I mean she probably doesn’t look as good as (Show image of Shannon Elizabeth 2020 and James says “WOW!”. Cut to James and Julia Alexa Miller) Look, if you’re okay with me well having those urges but knowing I have you, it’s all good, right?
Julia Alexa Miller:
Yeah, so get back to the review. (James and Julia Alexa Miller kiss and James walks away to leave Julia Alexa Miller to look at Shannon Elizabeth)
Yeah, so get back to the review. (James and Julia Alexa Miller kiss and James walks away to leave Julia Alexa Miller to look at Shannon Elizabeth)
Julia Alexa Miller:
If I weren’t with James, I’d go for her no questions asked. (Cut to clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
If I weren’t with James, I’d go for her no questions asked. (Cut to clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Sure enough, Jim apparently sent the Webcam address to every student in the body to see Nadia’s body and is embarrassed when Nadia forces him to Strip! This goes as well as expected. (Show clip of Jim stripping, cut to clip of “Fairly Oddparents” as the entire planet shakes from laughter. Cut back to the movie as James does his voiceover) As it looks like Jim is about to blow Nadia, he shoots himself in the foot and Nadia begins to leave when he tries the rough advice his dad gave and then… (Show clip of Jim being shown Nadia’s Nether region and everyone reacts with a “Holy Shit”, Cut to a clip of “Suburban Knights as Joe & Paw shout “HOLY SHIT!”, cut back to the movie as James does his voiceover) After blowing it again, Jim is now the laughing stock of the school, Hell even Charlie Brown is laughing at this poor schmuck! But enough of Jim’s humiliation, we continue as Oz practices his singing in hopes to make it to both the big game and the concert! As that goes on, Nadia is deported back to her homeland Michelle goes on about Band Camp and Jim figures she was the only one not to see him shoot himself twice with Nadia and asks Michelle out. Meanwhile Oz and Heather’s relationship continues to deepen while Stiffler strikes out with someone who wants Finch. Which we discover his reputation is a fabrication of Jessica’s imagination. After that, we discover that Stiffler slipped in a little laxative into Finch’s Coffee drink and well (Show clip of Finch going to the bathroom in the girls room in the school and audio of James screaming as he relieves himself and the smell drives out the girl and Finch humiliated by Stiffler. Cut back to the movie as James does a voiceover) After that Vicki and Kevin’s relationship hits the rocks and apparently Kevin can’t tell Vicki he loves her because he’s waiting for it to be Perfect. (Cut to clip of George Takei saying, “You are made of Stupid!”, cut back to the movie as James does a voiceover) As that happens Heather has come up with a back up partner should Oz miss the concert and wouldn’t you know it, Oz gives up the game to be at the concert for Heather (A group of people go “Awe!” while that happens. Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.) As everyone prepare for Prom night and the party afterwards. We see Finch sad and alone, while the other couples find themselves enjoying their company. Jim says the pact is done when Finch and Jessica dance in each other’s company and Sherman is exposed to be a fraud. OUCH! Soon enough everyone’s ready to party the night away at Stiffler’s Lake house. Meanwhile Michelle tells Jim about the One time which I must censor for the sake of decency! (Show clip of Michelle as she says, “And this one time at Band Camp I… [Cuckoo tweets drown out the rest of Michelle’s Story] and Jim spit takes” Cut to the rest of the movie as James does a voiceover)
Sure enough, Jim apparently sent the Webcam address to every student in the body to see Nadia’s body and is embarrassed when Nadia forces him to Strip! This goes as well as expected. (Show clip of Jim stripping, cut to clip of “Fairly Oddparents” as the entire planet shakes from laughter. Cut back to the movie as James does his voiceover) As it looks like Jim is about to blow Nadia, he shoots himself in the foot and Nadia begins to leave when he tries the rough advice his dad gave and then… (Show clip of Jim being shown Nadia’s Nether region and everyone reacts with a “Holy Shit”, Cut to a clip of “Suburban Knights as Joe & Paw shout “HOLY SHIT!”, cut back to the movie as James does his voiceover) After blowing it again, Jim is now the laughing stock of the school, Hell even Charlie Brown is laughing at this poor schmuck! But enough of Jim’s humiliation, we continue as Oz practices his singing in hopes to make it to both the big game and the concert! As that goes on, Nadia is deported back to her homeland Michelle goes on about Band Camp and Jim figures she was the only one not to see him shoot himself twice with Nadia and asks Michelle out. Meanwhile Oz and Heather’s relationship continues to deepen while Stiffler strikes out with someone who wants Finch. Which we discover his reputation is a fabrication of Jessica’s imagination. After that, we discover that Stiffler slipped in a little laxative into Finch’s Coffee drink and well (Show clip of Finch going to the bathroom in the girls room in the school and audio of James screaming as he relieves himself and the smell drives out the girl and Finch humiliated by Stiffler. Cut back to the movie as James does a voiceover) After that Vicki and Kevin’s relationship hits the rocks and apparently Kevin can’t tell Vicki he loves her because he’s waiting for it to be Perfect. (Cut to clip of George Takei saying, “You are made of Stupid!”, cut back to the movie as James does a voiceover) As that happens Heather has come up with a back up partner should Oz miss the concert and wouldn’t you know it, Oz gives up the game to be at the concert for Heather (A group of people go “Awe!” while that happens. Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.) As everyone prepare for Prom night and the party afterwards. We see Finch sad and alone, while the other couples find themselves enjoying their company. Jim says the pact is done when Finch and Jessica dance in each other’s company and Sherman is exposed to be a fraud. OUCH! Soon enough everyone’s ready to party the night away at Stiffler’s Lake house. Meanwhile Michelle tells Jim about the One time which I must censor for the sake of decency! (Show clip of Michelle as she says, “And this one time at Band Camp I… [Cuckoo tweets drown out the rest of Michelle’s Story] and Jim spit takes” Cut to the rest of the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Soon after that, Finch and Stiffler’s mom played by one of the funniest women on the planet Jennifer Coolidge hook up, as does Kevin and Vicki. Heather and Oz, and as for Jim and Michelle. (Show clip of Jim being manhandled by Michelle, Heather and Oz enjoy themselves as does Kevin and Vicki, Stiffler is shocked by his mom being with Finch. Cut to the end of the movie as James continues his voiceover) The following morning Kevin and Vicki decide to part ways, Thank your lucky stars Kevin on that one, Jim realizes Michelle used him and played him like a fiddle, Stiffler reacts as one would when he sees a friend hook up with his mom and our group of friends talk about how they’re ready for that next step and our movie ends with Jim stripping down to “One Week” and Nadia seeing it on a webcam. I truly do wish that things get better for Jim as these movies go on. (Cut to James Physically)
Soon after that, Finch and Stiffler’s mom played by one of the funniest women on the planet Jennifer Coolidge hook up, as does Kevin and Vicki. Heather and Oz, and as for Jim and Michelle. (Show clip of Jim being manhandled by Michelle, Heather and Oz enjoy themselves as does Kevin and Vicki, Stiffler is shocked by his mom being with Finch. Cut to the end of the movie as James continues his voiceover) The following morning Kevin and Vicki decide to part ways, Thank your lucky stars Kevin on that one, Jim realizes Michelle used him and played him like a fiddle, Stiffler reacts as one would when he sees a friend hook up with his mom and our group of friends talk about how they’re ready for that next step and our movie ends with Jim stripping down to “One Week” and Nadia seeing it on a webcam. I truly do wish that things get better for Jim as these movies go on. (Cut to James Physically)
TLOTA:
So that was “American Pie” and despite certain things that shows its age, it holds up! (Cut to clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
So that was “American Pie” and despite certain things that shows its age, it holds up! (Cut to clips of “American Pie” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
The acting is good, the story while having moments where I had to question my quality moved well enough for my liking and in some weird way it made me feel nostalgic for some time that in reality never really happened and I appreciate a lot of the characters arcs and stories. If you want something that while crude has some quality, I highly suggest you check it out and see how sweet this slice of pie truly is. (Cut to James Physically)
The acting is good, the story while having moments where I had to question my quality moved well enough for my liking and in some weird way it made me feel nostalgic for some time that in reality never really happened and I appreciate a lot of the characters arcs and stories. If you want something that while crude has some quality, I highly suggest you check it out and see how sweet this slice of pie truly is. (Cut to James Physically)
TLOTA:
So that’s one down and about three more Theatrically and four Straight to DVD movies to go and next time, we’re going to the second slice which will be… (James looks at his schedule) GADZOOKS! NEXT WEEK! I got work to do! I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and See you next week!
So that’s one down and about three more Theatrically and four Straight to DVD movies to go and next time, we’re going to the second slice which will be… (James looks at his schedule) GADZOOKS! NEXT WEEK! I got work to do! I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and See you next week!
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