Saturday, June 29, 2019

Fighting "Gladiators"

(Opening begins at the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James in his office)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours.
If my attire and my intro hasn't it made it clear, I enjoyed the series "American Gladiators". (Cut to clips of the original "American Gladiators" series and original "American Gladiators" theme song is playing as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
American Gladiators was a game show that ran for several seasons with Mike Adamle and a few different co-hosts including Joe Theismann, Todd Christensen, Lisa Malosky, even former American Gladiator Dan "Nitro" Clark. But the longest partnership and the one pairing that was the longest and the one that worked the best in my mind was the one with former Miami Dolphin Larry Csonka. The series was a competition tournament featuring male and female Weekend Warriors taking on larger than life muscle men and women with names like "Gemini", "Lace", "Zap", "Blaze", "Turbo", "Tower", "Laser", "Gold", "Sabre" & "Diamond" just to name a few of the Gladiators in grueling challenges and the best of the winners and the few of highest scoring competitors in the losing bracket were brought back in a tournament to see who would be "American Gladiators" Champion. However by the mid 1990's people's tastes in Weekend Warrior competition was changing and the series was starting to suffer from the effects of trying to keep up with the times and by 1996 the series was on it's last legs but the people in charge of the show thought of a way to revive interest. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And that was to make a spin off for the kiddies, which featured The Gladiators in more of a coaching position and educational capacity and putting a ton more educational material as well as modifying the courses from the parent show. (James looks around) Wait... whut? (Cut to the opening of "Gladiators 2000" then clips to the few available clips of "Gladiators 2000" on YouTube as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
"Gladiators 2000" was the short lived attempt to make American Gladiators more kid friendly so that the parent groups would stop writing letters about how American Gladiators was getting to be as bad as WCW or the WWF (As it was called at the time before it became the WWE) was starting to become and it showed what happens when parent groups get their way. But is it as bad as say an American Gladiators Workout video or is it as awesome as the Eliminator run as Joe Mauro and Mark Ortega? (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Let's find out together as we check out "Gladiators 2000" (Cut to the available clips of the show on YouTube as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
The series starts off with the same mantra play in the opening credits of "Work Hard, Play Hard, Healthy Body, Healthy Mind, Face The Future, Fear no Challenge, I strive to be the best that I can be" even though the theme song changed for season 2 the mantra remained the same. After the opening credits we're introduced to the hosts of the series. Maria Sansone in season one who'd be replaced by Valarie Rae Miller in season 2 and Ryan Seacrest.  (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Ryan Seacrest... Why does that name sound familiar? (Cut to clips of "American Idol",  "Ryan Seacrest presents Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve", "Live with Kelly & Ryan", Ryan Seacrest's time as an correspondent for "E!" and "Keeping Up With The Kardashians before James pulls out a bottle of Jack Daniels then cutting back to the available clips of the show on YouTube as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Yeah, this was one of Ryan's first big gigs as a host and it showed. He hadn't fully developed the persona he would be known for in his later works but you can see it was there. The Games they had were the Wall, The Assault, The Pyramid or in the case of this series the "Food Pyramid" and Swingshot. However the game play was bogged down with moments with educational material which the hosts and the Gladiators themselves and slowing down the pacing of an episode even further would be a Bonus question that while earning points that would help them out in the end event a modified "Eliminator" which even got bogged down with educational material and to the creators credit they made The Eliminator course a little less impossible because on the main series, they had to climb up a Versaclimber, go down a slide for life, go across the Handbike, go across two spinning cylinders which was replaced in the final season of both shows with a ball pit, Climbing up a cargo net, going down a zip line over a plexiglass barrier, running up a treadmill then hanging on for dear life as they broke through a paper barrier. The Kids had to climb up a ladder, go down the slide, go across rings in season one and in season two walk across a balance beam then it was at the cylindrical challenge/ ball pit challenge in season two and in which the momentum was bogged down with an educational question, then came the fact they had to go to a question room tagging off to their partner to which then came a row of landing pad hurdles, Answering another question before going over the plexiglass wall going up the treadmill and having to answer yet ANOTHER educational question and apparently the team with the fastest time and most questions answered correctly including the points accumulated in the challenges before then and you and your team wins! (A loud explosion is heard as the footage is destroyed by how bogged down it becomes before James comes rushing in with a fire extinguisher as he stops the fire instantly) 

TLOTA:
Phew, can't afford to lose what little footage of the series there is out there.
(Cut to the available clips of the show on YouTube as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Also present during both seasons was the fact that the hosts explain the events to the point of the events being over explained. I'm not kidding, they over explain The Wall, The Assault and not even the eliminator is spared. (Show the clips of the hosts over explaining the event in both seasons before cutting to clips of the second season of "Gladiators 2000" available on YouTube as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
By the second season not only did Valarie Rae Miller replace Maria, they also cut down the number of Gladiator coaches down from two to one and added in more quote unquote sketches in which the Gladiators were not only educational but also try to show off their thespian skills and the hosts weren't immune. (Show clip of Hawk as his Well read but insane Phobia spewing character, Sabre playing a mad scientist in a science fact sketch, Valerie and Ryan talking about a science thing and a geographical explanation on Rhode Island before cutting to James physically)

TLOTA:
Well while I was watching those I found out that one of the Gladiators from the first half season Malibu went on to work with Sabre from the later seasons of the series in a movie together. Though I discovered the movie was "Mortal Kombat: Annihilation". Why that tidbit of information? Thought you'd like something more interesting than the sketches.
(Cut to the available clips of the show on YouTube as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
I think by this point everyone involved with this series and the main series knew that both were coming to an end and both met the final competitors and named their champions and were retired with the little bit of Dignity and Grace they had. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
So with what little footage I could get was the show actually good? (Cut to the few available clips of "Gladiators 2000" on YouTube as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
I will say that while it is not as good as the original series, I don't think it's entirely without merit. This did serve to show the Gladiators in a more unique light other than what the main show was doing with them. The Gladiators themselves seemed to have fun in the show. The games weren't totally unwatchable though honestly it felt less like a knock off of "American Gladiators" and it felt more like a knock off of "Nickelodeon's Guts" which was meant to be a kid friendly version of "American Gladiators" minus the Gladiators. If you can find the show, then congrats are in order because watching what little of "Gladiators 2000"  I could find, I could tell that this was one competition show that got that rightly eliminated just before it could finish the competition. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and for the last time in this place, That's my opinion! (Cut to James as he shuts off the camera, packing up the last little bits and pieces here and there as James writes a letter and "Deliberate Thought" by Kevin Macleod plays in the Foreground)

TLOTA (Voiceover):"This was written on the final day of this studio under my ownership. This studio and it's history will shortly become the care of another crew of people. To you and your posterity you will commit your future to this place. Make it less of a building, make it a place you can call a second home. A place where you and your friends can come together and have fun. Make it a place where you can feel good about yourself and everyone around you can feel as good. Make it fun for you. Throw parties and overall make it a place where the future is awesome not only for yourselves but for everyone. Signed, The Former Owner, James Benjamin Faraci, The Last Of The Americans" (As the music ends, James places the note on a desk. James grabs ORAC and the last tote full of stuff from the Studio. James looks around one last time, sighs and walks into the Space Time device and as the Space Time Device takes off the camera cuts to James' old Personal/Work Office to see the desk with the letter on it fall apart one last time before fading to black before cutting to James in his living room)

James Faraci:
Hey everyone, James here just doing clarification, First off, I am NOT shutting down production of "The Last Of The Americans" not by a long shot, I am moving the character to a new studio. Secondly,  I am NOT leaving Manic Expression though trust me, I almost didn't make it due to personal issues but I got it done by the skin of my teeth and I could feel the Axe hanging over my head and it scared the living daylights out of me. And now on to the bigger business, My brother Rob he needs the money from everyone who can help. He Still is not better, it's going possibly up to a year at the outside before he's 95% better. His family on the other hand needs the cash from the GoFundMe NOW! Click on the link and donate.




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