(A black screen with
a pair of Red Lips slowly zooms towards the center of the screen as “Science
Fiction Double Feature” sound alike plays in the foreground)
Red Lips (Singing):
Doctor Who had his
fill the Day the Earth stood still and he nearly wiped out all the Daleks. Then
came The Millennium Falcon like a bat out of hell and took out the base for the
Starkiller! Then something went screwy as Iron Man went kerblooey and Captain
America became Enemy number one! And at an incredible pace went the whole human
race in a Sharknado but they had some fun!
(The Lips freeze but
the song continues as does the singing from the lips in a still frame as the
words “The Last Of The Americans in…” “The Rocky Horror Picture Review Show!”
“Starring James Faraci as The Last Of The Americans” “Taylor Huff as Taylor”
“Marcella Di Pasquale as Marcella” “Rebecca Yaun as Dr. Vienerschnitzel” “Chris
Lee Moore as Rick Roll”, “Eric Kurtzke as Prof. Schott” “Brenda Fonseca as
Paramount” “Paulo Fonseca as Johnny” “Maria Feist as Tangerine”, “Nick Yaun as
Rocky Horror” “with John Ross Santos as The Forensic Scientist” are all done in
melted Red Lipstick)
Science Fiction!
Double Feature! Dr. Frankenstein and his creature! See Robots fighting our
heroes and Francis Coleman will film the whole show Whoa! Oh, oh, Whoaaah!
Welcome to the late night double feature picture show! (The Lips unfreeze and
the credits stop)
I knew David E.
Kelley had laughs from his belly when he saw Wonder Woman’s movie succeed! But
then came Marty and Doc and they gave it a shot to try and save Reality!
Captain Kirk and his crew knew they were through when The Enterprise was sent
to its grave! But when Godzilla arose well everyone knows no one is safe from
a…
(The Lips freeze but the song continues as
does the singing from the lips in a still frame as the words “Written by James
Faraci”, “Makeup by Olivia Horvath” “Costumes by Renee Miller, Ed Champion,
Andrew Beach and Michael Santos” “Produced by Julia Alexa Miller, Ryan Brennan,
James Faraci, Harold Apter, Alexandria Baltazar” and “Directed by Julia Alexa
Miller” are all done in melted Red Lipstick)
Science Fiction!
Double Feature! Dr. Frankenstein and his creature! See Robots fighting our
heroes and Francis Coleman will film the whole show Whoa! Oh, oh, Whoaaah!
Welcome to the late night double feature picture show! Come on let’s go! Oh!
Oh! Oh! Whoa oh! To the Late-Night Double Feature Picture Show! In Hi-Def Stereo!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Whoa oh! To the Late-Night Double Feature Picture Show! With Randy
O! Oh! Oh! Oh! Whoa oh! To the Late-Night Double Feature Picture Show! In the
front row!
(The Lips unfreeze
and sing Oh! Oh! Oh! Whoa oh! To the Late-Night Double Feature Picture Show!
Before fading to Taylor Huff and Marcella Di Pasquale from “Life As A Mermaid”
and James as the three are driving down the road in James’ mom’s van and the
three sing the word “Show” before the Radio announces to everyone in the van
James’ Haunted House and Halloween Adult Party as James shuts the radio off.)
Taylor:
We really want to
thank you for bringing us to the Con and sacrificing your usual plans for
Halloween.
TLOTA:
Well, I’m a man of my
word and I promised Alex to get you and Marcella to the Con and I plan on
getting you there.
Marcella:
It means a lot to us
and if you ever need anything, let us know.
TLOTA:
Well, just keep
making great episodes of “Life As A Mermaid” and we’re square.
(Cut to 20 minutes
later as The Van is hauled away after breaking down at the far end of the Neversink
Reservoir Dam and James, Marcella and Taylor are left on the side of the road.)
Taylor:
Well James have we
thanked you for picking us up in a lemon?
TLOTA:
It’s not my
fault, any way
where is your luggage? (Taylor and Marcella look at each other and realize
“Oops! We Left them in the Van” as they try to run after the Tow Truck!) Guys!
Forget it, I told them what Hotel we’re going to be staying at when they get it
fixed and don’t bother trying to use your smartphones this is a dead zone for
cellular calls and there’s no Uber or Lyft or rideshare or anything like that
around here. (Taylor and Marcella catch up with James.)
Marcella:
So now what?
TLOTA:
We hoof it until we
get to Neversink, then I can call the Garage tell them where we’re staying until the Van is fixed and
they can drop it off there also the less time complaining and more time walking will do us some good. (The three walks down the road before fading to The
Forensic Scientist in his Library.)
The Forensic
Scientist:
As the three make
their way down the road our heroes will discover the events of one night going
into someone else’s fantasy. (Cut to later that night as the rain pours down
like cats and dogs while James, Taylor and Marcella make their way to a
gigantic house.)
Taylor:
James, there’s more
room under the Umbrella for you to join me and Marcella.
TLOTA:
I’m alright for now.
We’re coming up to the place the old guy from the Gas Station said it’d be
better for us to stay until the van is fixed! (Cut to the gigantic house as
lightning strikes and thunder booms before cutting to James, Taylor and
Marcella as they make their way to the gigantic house and as a sound alike of
“There’s a Light Over at the Frankenstein place” plays in the foreground)
Taylor (Singing):
In the veil of darkness of the blackest night!
Marcella (Singing):
Burning Bright there is a guiding li-ii-iight!
TLOTA (Singing):
Making us feel safe
this ni-ii-iight!
TLOTA, Marcella & Taylor (Singing in harmony):
There’s a light (Chorus sings “Over at Der
Vienerschnitzel’s”)
TLOTA, Marcella & Taylor (Singing in
harmony):
There’s a lii-iiiight (Chorus sings “Burning
from the depths of Hell!”)
TLOTA, Marcella & Taylor (Singing in
harmony):
There’s a li-liiight in the darkest of the
entire night! (Cut to the gigantic house.)
The voice of someone
from the house (As sung by Chris Lee Moore):
The darkness it flows li-ike a river on
night’s streaming as Orpheus flows as the sun breaks the darkness of the
sky-yy-yyy! of the Sky-yy-yy-yy! (Cut to
James, Taylor and Marcella as they make their way to the gigantic house)
TLOTA, Marcella &
Taylor (Singing in harmony):
There’s a light
(Chorus sings “Over at Der Vienerschnitzel’s”)
TLOTA, Marcella &
Taylor (Singing in harmony):
There’s a light
(Chorus sings “Burning from the depths of Hell!”)
TLOTA, Marcella, Taylor
and the Chorus (Singing in harmony):
There’s a li-liiight
in the darkest of the entire night!
(Cut to the gigantic house as James,
Marcella and Taylor make it to the front porch.)
TLOTA:
You know this seems all too familiar. Like
something I see around this time. (James snaps his fingers) Rocky Horror
Picture Show! (Cut to Marcella and Taylor look at each other in shock.)
Taylor and Marcella
(In Unionized shock):
You’ve seen The Rocky
Horror Picture Show? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Hasn’t everybody? (Cut to audio sound alike to
“Time Warp” plays in the background and James does a
voiceover on stills from the movie.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Created
by Richard O’Brien this campy tongue in cheek tale about a couple who just got
engaged and finds themselves in something out of a B-Grade Sci-fi movie of the
Golden Age of Cinema this story also deals with the dangers of personal
experimentation gone wrong. I think it’s partly due to Richard O’Brien having
suffered throughout most of his life with Gender identity problems but also
loved and used the tropes of the Sci-Fi and Fantasy movies of his childhood to
help him through the problems. Another thing he used was music and let me say
that the music in this Rock Opera is still far catchier today than any regurgitation
of a musical today. The fact he used Rock and Roll to also help him discover
himself and come up with the basis of what is as good a movie as is a cult
classic that people still go to at midnight screenings. (Cut to the gigantic
house as James, Marcella and Taylor stand on the front porch.)
TLOTA:
Though how it became
a Midnight Movie Cult Classic is quite interesting as well. (Taylor, Marcella
and James jump back as the door opens and Rick Roll greets them.)
Rick Roll:
Good evening, please
walk this way and follow me! (Rick Roll walks away before it cuts to James as Taylor and Marcella prepare to walk the same way Rick Roll did)
TLOTA:
Do it and you can
stay here and forget the Con altogether! (The three walks into the main parlor
of the house as they meet up with Rick Roll and Tangerine.)
Rick Roll:
My name is Rick Roll
and this is my sister…Tangerine! (Cut to James, Taylor and Marcella looking as
to say to themselves “Right” before cutting to Tangerine and Rick Roll)
Tangerine:
Our master Dr.
Vienerschnitzel wasn’t expecting company tonight.
TLOTA:
Well we just need to
call the garage to let them know where we are and we’ll stay in this area.
(Dull music is heard in the background.)
Marcella:
Are we interrupting
something?
Rick Roll:
Nothing you can not
be a part of.
Taylor:
So, you’re saying we
can observe if we want?
Rick Roll:
Indeed, I am!
(“Time
Warp” sound alike plays in the foreground and the same actions from the 1975
movie are done by the characters)
Rick Roll (Sing
speak):
It’s amazing! Time has no meaning! Sanity has
no soul! But listen over yonder!
Tangerine (Sing
speak):
And do not wander!
Rick Roll (Sing
speak):
For we must keep
control!
Rick Roll (Singing):
I REMEMBER! DOING
NOSTALGIA! THINKING OF THE MOMENTS WHEN! THE BLACKNESS WAS SCREAMING!
Rick Roll &
Tangerine (Singing in harmony):
AND THE VOICES WERE SINGING! (Cut to James,
Taylor and Marcella being pushed into a room full of celebrators)
Celebrators (In
Choired Harmony):
LET’S DO THE
NOSTALGIA AGAIN! LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN! (Cut to The Forensic Scientist in his
Library.)
The Forensic
Scientist:
It’s just two steps forward! (Cut to the room
full of celebrators)
Celebrators (In
Choired Harmony):
AND THEN A TEN STEPS ABA-AAA-AACK! (Cut to The
Forensic Scientist in his Library.)
The Forensic
Scientist:
Place your hands on
your knees! (Cut to the room full of celebrators)
Celebrators (In
Choired Harmony):
THEN GIVE THEM A
CLAA-AAP! AND IF YOU SHAKE YOUR BUU-UUT
THAT’S A SIGN THAT MAKES YOU CRAAAA-AZY! LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN! LET’S DO
THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN!
Tangerine (Sing speak):
It’s so freeing! All
over I’m feeling oh so incredible! In another reality, as far as my eyes can
see and none of it is so dull!
Rick Roll (Sing
speak):
With a really good mind
frack!
Tangerine (Sing
speak):
Your senses will be
out of whack!
Rick Roll (Sing
speak):
And reality will be destroyed!
Tangerine (Sing
speak):
It’s a celebration
Rick Roll
(Singing):
ACROSS EVERY NATION!
Celebrators (In
Choired Harmony):
LET’S DO THE
NOSTALGIA AGAIN! LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN! (Cut to Rick Roll and Tangerine
as they boogie on over to Paramount)
Paramount (Singing):
Well I was dancing
down the road and I was having thang with tall dark man who could really
schwing! He rocked me till the dawn, he rolled me into the night. He had a
pick-up truck and was a crazy tight! I looked at him and without a thought he
brought me to his world and everything else he sought.
Celebrators (In
Choired Harmony):
LET’S DO THE
NOSTALGIA AGAIN! LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN!
(Cut to The Forensic Scientist in his Library.)
The Forensic
Scientist:
It’s just two steps
forward! (Cut to the room full of celebrators)
Celebrators (In
Choired Harmony):
AND THEN A TEN STEPS ABA-AAA-AACK! (Cut to The
Forensic Scientist in his Library.)
The Forensic
Scientist:
Place your hands on
your knees! (Cut to the room full of celebrators)
Celebrators (In
Choired Harmony):
THEN GIVE THEM A
CLAA-AAP!! AND IF YOU SHAKE YOUR BUU-UUT THAT’S A SIGN THAT MAKES YOU
CRAAAA-AZY! LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN! LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN!
(Paramount taps dances before cutting to James bopping his head as Taylor and
Marcella smack him before cutting to Paramount as her tap dancing shoes slips on
the floor and lands on James as Taylor and Marcella move out of the way and
James pushes Paramount out of the way)
Celebrators (In
Choired Harmony):
LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN! LET’S DO THE
NOSTALGIA AGAIN! (Cut to The Forensic
Scientist in his Library.)
The Forensic
Scientist:
It’s just two steps forward! (Cut to the room
full of celebrators)
Celebrators (In
Choired Harmony):
AND THEN A TEN STEPS
ABA-AAA-AACK! (Cut to The Forensic Scientist in his Library.)
The Forensic
Scientist:
Place your hands on
your knees! (Cut to the room full of celebrators)
Celebrators (In
Choired Harmony):
THEN GIVE THEM A CLAA-AAP!!
AND IF YOU SHAKE YOUR BUU-UUT THAT’S A SIGN THAT MAKES YOU CRAAAA-AZY!
LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN! LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN! (The music slows as
everyone save for James, Taylor and Marcella collapse in exhaustion before
cutting to James, Taylor and Marcella.)
TLOTA:
So…. none of you have done the Macarena in a
long time! (The build up to Sweet Transvestite plays in the foreground as
Taylor and Marcella start to walk away and James follows) Come on guys! Once we
make the call we’ll be here for the night and not be in the way.
Taylor:
Look James we’re getting creeped out by being
here and it’s not getting any less weird with you trying to add levity to the
situation we’re in.
TLOTA:
I understand but we’re the Doctor’s guests and
the best thing to do is to ride things out with a smile on our faces and then
never mention this night again.
Marcella:
Look We’re wet,
tired, cold and we can’t handle any more shocking surprises for a while! (The
Doors open as “Sweet Transvestite” sound alike plays in the foreground and Dr.
Vienerschnitzel wrapped in a cape comes busting in shocking Taylor and Marcella
the two of them landing on James.)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel
(Sing Speak):
How’d you do I… See you’ve
met my… faithful servicemen! They’re just a little upset because he thought…
you were the delivery from Amazan!
Dr. Vienerschnitzel
(Singing):
Don’t get strung out, on just how I LOOK don’t
judge this book by its cover! I may look normal oh every day! But by night I’m
a hell of another! I’m just a sweet fanvestite from fansational fanlove.
Cooooom!
Dr. Vienerschnitzel
(Sing Speak):
Now let me give you
the tour. You three look like you are sure. You know how to be real funny!
But if you need something more unusual maybe something visual we can take in an
old Universal Monster Movie.
TLOTA (Sing Speak):
Well I’m glad we can talk right now. Don’t
need you having a cow but we hit a problem. You see our ride broke down and
we’re stuck in town. Just let us borrow your phone, make our calls and
everything will be awesome!
Dr. Vienerschnitzel
(Singing):
Well you three are
straight up trapped well how about that! Just you three do not panic! For you
see I’ve got on speed dial the most sadistic satanic mechanic! I’m just a sweet
fanvestite from fansational fanlove. Cooooom!
Dr. Vienerschnitzel
(Sing Speak):
Now you three can
stay the night. (Paramount, Tangerine and Rick Roll whisper night) You can grab
a bite. (Paramount, Tangerine and Rick Roll whisper bite) Maybe show you my
latest creation! For you see I’m making the ultimate fan. Long Legs, Blonde
Hair, Blue Eyes and a Tan! It’s oh so good in every Convention. I’m just a
sweet fanvestite from fansational fanlove. Cooooom! (Laughs to the beat of the music)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel
(Singing):
I’m just a sweet fanvestite from fansational
fanlove. Cooooom!
Dr. Vienerschnitzel
(Sing Speak):
So, come to my lab (Cut to
Taylor and Marcella as the two look at each other before cutting to Dr.
Vienerschnitzel) And see what’s on my
slab (Cut to James as he looks frustrated before cutting to Dr.
Vienerschnitzel) I see you shiver with antici…(Cut to James, Taylor and
Marcella as Taylor and Marcella look in wonder for five seconds in silence and
James in frustration lasting four of the five seconds )
TLOTA:
OH, FOR THE LOVE OF
PEAT MOSS, GET ON WITH IT!
Dr. Vienerschnitzel
(Sing Speak):
Pation! (Cut to
James, Taylor and Marcella)
TLOTA:
THANKS! (Cut to Dr.
Vienerschnitzel inside an elevator)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel
(Singing):
But Maaa-a-aaybe the
niii-ght! (Cut to the outside of the elevator)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel
(Sing Speak):
should be the least
of your frights. I’ll handle the fears, but not the sensation! (The elevator
goes up as the song ends before cutting to James, Taylor and Marcella as they
look up the shaft)
TLOTA:
Am I the only one who is now scared if they’ll
survive the night? (Taylor and Marcella raise their hands and James turns to
see them.) Okay good to know I’m not the only one!
(Taylor and Marcella
look at James with surprised disgust before cutting to 0:36-end mark from the
theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera
moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The
Americans” on it act as the commercial break intro and commercial return as the scene cuts to the inside of
the shared room of James, Marcella & Taylor as Taylor and Marcella are
undressed off screen and James is in the bathroom off screen as well)
Taylor (Off Screen):
Come on James, a
grown man in his underwear seeing a woman in her underwear is perfectly
natural.
TLOTA (Off Screen):
When they’re married
or in a couple. I’m single and I have three reasons why I feel even more
uncomfortable with these accommodations. Their names are Madison, Mallory &
Vivian Lee!
Marcella (Off
Screen):
Ooh who are they?
TLOTA (Off Screen):
My nieces! Madison
and Mallory are teens and Vivian is a decade Madison and Mallory’s junior!
Hence me being in the bathroom is essential to my sanity and decency!
Taylor (Off Screen):
Well why did you give
them your clothes?
TLOTA (Off Screen):
They took yours as
well fortunately I have a backup plan! (Sounds of a flip phone opening and the
numbers 4, 2 & 8 are heard before a flash of light is seen before
everything returns to normal) Taylor! Grab my glasses! (Taylor’s arm reaches
into the bathroom.)
TLOTA (Off screen and
one octave higher):
Wrong glasses! (James
pulls out his glasses and Taylor gets James’ glasses.)
Taylor (Off
Screen):
Okay, Now what?
TLOTA (Off Screen):
Tap the bridge of the
glasses.
Marcella (Off Screen):
What will that do?
TLOTA (Off Screen):
After five seconds,
it’ll emit a Holographic image of clothes on the two of you. (A tap is made and
a whirring noise is heard for five seconds)
Marcella (Off
Screen):
Now what?
TLOTA (Off Screen):
Hand me my glasses.
(Marcella’s arm reaches out and smacks James in the face) Thanks Marcella.
(James walks into the room)
TLOTA:
Wait, I’ll show you
the clothes I picked. (James double taps the bridge of his glasses as it emits
a Sonic sound for two seconds) What do you think? (Cut to Taylor and Marcella
dressed in early 1900’s dresses)
Taylor:
Seriously? (Cut to
James)
TLOTA:
What? I think it’s
dignified! (Cut to Taylor and Marcella)
Marcella:
Fashion styles have
changed and women can still look dignified. (Marcella walks over grabs James’
glasses and James closes his eyes and a whirring noise is heard as Marcella’s
hand gives James his glasses back as it cuts to Marcella and Taylor dressed as
normal women dress this day)
Taylor & Marcella
(In Unison):
Better? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Better choices than I
had. (James walks over to Taylor and Marcella.)
Taylor:
So, when did you
update your glasses and I thought you had given Rick Roll your clothes?
TLOTA:
I got them updated back in early July just in
time for my clipless “Wonder Woman” review. People didn’t notice until August!
And as for these, this is my usual garb when I become The Last Of The
Americans. What I was wearing was a costume of “The Last Of The Americans”
because I was foolishly thought things were going to be easy for me to get you
to the Con and I could get back in time for me to enjoy my Halloween Adult Swim
Party after taking down my family friendly Haunted House.
Marcella:
Again, we’re sorry
about that
Taylor:
But we are grateful
for the ride that could get ready for the Con on Thursday.
TLOTA:
So why did you need me to get the two of you to
the Hotel tonight?
Taylor:
Get a feel for the
Hotel, help set up the booth for the Con the next day, meet some of the locals.
The usual stuff one does when they’re from out of town and want to soak in the
local culture. (The door creeks open as Tangerine comes in)
Tangerine:
My apologies for
interrupting you but Dr. Vienerschnitzel demands your presence in his
laboratory to see his creation come to life! (Cut to James, Taylor and
Marcella)
Marcella:
Tell him we’re on our
way. (Cut to Tangerine at the doorway)
Tangerine:
Absolutely and may I say you two ladies look
rather delectable maybe with some Fava Beans and a nice Chianti! (Tangerine
walks away creeping out James, Taylor and Marcella as James, Taylor and
Marcella follow Tangerine to the Elevator.)
Taylor:
Okay what was that
all about?
TLOTA:
Well, apart from
myself and the two of you, everyone is seeing the two of you in your underwear!
(Taylor and Marcella clench their fists before
cutting to Dr. Vienerschnitzel’s laboratory as the Elevator dings and Taylor
and Marcella walk out angrily and James is on the backside of the elevator with
two black eyes and seeing a circle of animated tweeting birds around his head
before cutting to Dr. Vienerschnitzel as The Doctor prepares to bring life)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
Ah our guests have
arrived! Behold my creation! All it needs now is my special chemical
composition and a concentrated amounts of lightning bolts then VOILA! My
creation shall have LIFE! (A Strange device comes down) Rick Roll if you would
please! (Rick Roll starts to open the valves to the composition) NOW THE ROOF!
OPEN IT! (Rick Roll opens the roof as Lightning strikes and the body inside the
tank convulses) OH ROCKY! (The body inside begins to move only as another body
pops out of the tank which happens to be Rocky Balboa this time played by Nick
Slimmer.)
Rocky Balboa:
Hey yo, Thanks for
the boost Doc! Just what I needed to get me through Creed II! Later! (Cut to
James, Taylor and Marcella)
TLOTA:
Was that really your
creation? (Cut to Dr. Vienerschnitzel)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
No, you fool! Behold
THE REAL ROCKY! (Cut to the Creature as the face and Body is revealed and it
escapes the tub and “Sword of Damocles” sound alike plays in the background)
Rocky (Singing):
The Sword of
Caliverti is a hanging over the land and I fear the man who holds it in his
hands! Oh, what is me? Oh, Life Is a Mystery! Oh, I can see that I’m at the
hands of a really big follower! I woke up this morning with a hangover as big
as Canada! (Celebrators sing in choired harmony “That Ain’t A Crime!”) Of
course, I also was in Attica! (Celebrators sing in choired harmony “That Ain’t
A Crime!”) Oh, what is me? Oh, Life Is a Mystery! Oh, I can see that I’m at the
hands of a really big follower! (Celebrators sing in choired harmony “Sha-Na-Na
That Ain’t A Crime! Sha-Na-Na That Ain’t A Crime! YEAH!”) The Sword of
Caliverti is a hanging over the land! (Celebrators sing in choired harmony
“Sha-Na-Na That Ain’t A Crime!!”) And I fear the man who holds it in their
hands! (Celebrators sing in choired harmony “Sha-Na-Na That Ain’t A Crime!!”) Oh,
what is me? Oh, Life Is a Mystery! Oh, I can see that I’m at the hands of a
really big follower! (Celebrators sing in choired harmony “Sha-Na-Na That Ain’t
A Crime! Sha-Na-Na That Ain’t A Crime! YEAH! Cha-Cha-Cha!” before Dr.
Vienerschnitzel slaps Rocky)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
Oh Rocky! Oh, My
Rocky! Follow me and I will show you what it means to be a fan! (Cut to Taylor,
Marcella and James as instrumental of “I can make you a man” plays in the
background)
Taylor:
Okay, James I’m gonna
ask once and then I’m smacking you stupid. Did you dance while Rocky sang?
TLOTA:
I couldn’t help it
was very catchy, like the soundtrack to The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
(Cut to stills from
“Rocky Horror Picture Show” as James does a voiceover on stills from the
movie.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
I dare people not to
get up and hit the dance floor when the soundtrack gets going. I’ve heard from
one of my friends that their school always performed “Time Warp” around
Halloween and I’ve been to a Halloween parties where the songs from
Frank-N-Furter’s floor show was played and things got freaky! Plus, I can’t
even count how many musical numbers from high schools who decide to perform the
stage version of the musical there are on YouTube. As a matter of fact, one of
the better renditions of the Musical and the movie was the “GLEE” episode
“Rocky Horror GLEE Show” and although Fox tried to do a “Live TV Musical
Version” of the movie and it tried to recreate the experience of seeing the
movie and experiencing the music on TV and it tanked because you have to go to
the live experience to actually get it. (An engine revs up as it cuts back to Dr.
Vienerschnitzel’s Lab as the freezer’s door opens and a man in black on a
motorcycle zooms out and everyone steps back!)
Paramount:
JOHNNY! (Cut to
Johnny looking like Tommy Wiseau’s Johnny from “The Room”)
Johnny:
Hai Babe, I got this
for You-ooo! (Cut to Taylor,Marcella and James as he pulls out the
Double-Barreled Handgun)
TLOTA:
OH NO YOU DON’T! OH
NO YOU DON’T! COME HERE YOU SON OF A…! (James runs out of frame as Gunshots are
heard as Taylor and Marcella look on in fear and shock)
TLOTA (Audio only):
DON’T RUN! DON’T RUN!
COME HERE I JUST WANNA BE YOUR FRIEND! (A Yipe and a thud is heard as James
walks back cleaning blood off the gun)
TLOTA:
What? (Dr.
Vienerschnitzel saunters in)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
Well, I understand
where you’re coming from. It was a mercy killing. But did you have to do it
with such violence?
TLOTA:
I have enough Cult
Classics to deal with in this thing. (Cut to stills of “The Room” and “Rocky
Horror Picture Show” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
The reason “Rocky
Horror Picture Show” became a midnight cult classic was because of Kismet
because when it was released somewhat nationwide it BOMBED! Critics thrashed
it, mainstream audiences hated it. However, one theater in New York decided to show
the movie at midnight and slowly but surely the audience grew and grew. When
the news of this reached 20th Century Fox, a young upstart exec
thought this was a smarter way than trying to make the mainstream understand
it. So, when it found its audience, that was when people embraced the movie.
The reason “The Room” succeeded in becoming a cult classic is because the movie
is ungodly WEIRD! How could something that incoherently insane be considered a
movie? And the fact people wanted to see how bad it was made it a cult classic
because of dumb luck! There’s a difference between kismet and dumb luck. Kismet
is fate mixed with destiny and luck. Dumb luck is just that, Luck that wasn’t
smart enough to know how lucky it is! (Cut to Taylor, Marcella and James in the
lab with Dr. Vienerschnitzel.)
TLOTA:
It’d be as much dumb
luck as say an old Professor friend of mine finding his way here! (A Zooming blur
nearly knocks over Taylor, Marcella, James and Dr. Vienerschnitzel as a
crashing noise is heard two seconds later.) HOLY SCHOTT! (Cut to the wall as a
man in a wheelchair is stuck head first before Taylor, James and Marcella get
him out!)
Professor Schott:
Oh, Vielen Dank Damen
und (Gasps) HERR Faraci!
TLOTA:
Wie sind Sie
Professor?
Professor Schott:
Ich war besser, ich
denke, es wäre einfacher, Englisch zu sprechen!
TLOTA:
Gute Idee Professor!
(Dr. Vienerschnitzel jumps in angrily!)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
I KNEW IT! YOU SENT
THEM DIDN’T YOU!
Professor Schott:
No, I did not, I am looking
for my nephew Johnny! (James, Taylor & Marcella look at each other
realizing what James did with a nervous smile on the three)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
Well how is it that
you know this… absurdity?
Professor Schott:
Who? James? He was a
student in my science course!
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
So, you admit you
sent him to see then try to steal the secret formula to my success.
TLOTA:
No! I am being honest
with you now. I am on my way to a Convention and I was taking my friends to it
as well! That is the One Hundred Percent truth!
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
SILENCE Let the professor and his crew stay for the night but in separate rooms. (Dissolve cut to The Forensic Scientist in his Library.)
The Forensic
Scientist:
As The night went on
one of our two Heroines found themselves bored and looked around the manor
eventually returning to the Laboratory (Cut to Taylor in the Laboratory)
Taylor:
Oh, hey there, Rocky,
is it? (Rocky grunts yarp) Look I want to thank you for being so kind, patient
and understanding unlike your creator. Trust me, I’ve been hearing it from so
many (“Touch-A, Touch-A Touch Me” Sound alike plays as Taylor begins to sing)
I’ve been feeling down and out, in a tailspin.
I'd never known success before. (Cut to Paramount and Tangerine)
Paramount:
You mean she?
Tangerine:
Uh huh (Cut to Taylor
and Rocky)
Taylor (Singing):
I thought there was
no real understanding what success had for me. I thought it led to hurting
those around me. But now that I know what I need to grow! I’ve got the brass
ring and I ain’t letting go!
(Cut to Paramount and
Tangerine)
Paramount and
Tangerine:
Go! Go! GO!
(Cut to Taylor and
Rocky)
Taylor (Singing):
I’m lowering my
defenses! I’m giving up the resistance! I’ve got a need to fill and you’re the
only one who can fit my bill at my insistence! Rock-A,
Rock-A Rock Me! Don’t stop until IIII Scream! Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me!
Creature o-of delight! If-a anything goes when I suck on your nose! I’ll
lick you oh so clean from you head down to your toes!
(Cut to Paramount and
Tangerine)
Paramount and
Tangerine:
Toes! Toes! TOES!
(Cut to Taylor and
Rocky)
Taylor (Singing):
And that’s just a
good percentage of what I can do with my independence! I can tell that you are
a man and I’m the one who can help you go the distance! Rock-A, Rock-A Rock Me!
Don’t stop until IIII Scream! Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me! Creature o-of
delight!
(Cut to Paramount and
Tangerine)
Paramount:
Rock-A, Rock-A Rock
Me!
Tangerine:
Don’t stop until IIII
Scream!
Paramount:
Hold Me, Thrill Me,
Kiss Me!
Tangerine:
Creature o-of
delight!
(Cut to Taylor and
Rocky)
Taylor (Singing):
Oh Rock-A, Rock-A
Rock Me! Don’t stop until IIII Scream! Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me! Creature
o-of delight!
(Cut to James, Dr. Vienerschnitzel, Marcella,
The Forensic Scientist, Professor Schott, Paramount, Tangerine and Rick Roll as
it dissolves between one of them saying “Creature Of Delight” and the couple
getting it on before cutting back to Taylor and Rocky)
Taylor (Singing):
Creature o-of deli-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
(The echo of Taylor scream reaches the floor
everyone else is on)
TLOTA:
Say Professor, did
you hear a (Mimics Taylor’s IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII)?
Professor Schott:
Why yes, I did hear a
(Mimics Taylor’s IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII)!
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
I too heard a (Mimics
Taylor’s IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII) and it sounds like it came from the Laboratory!
(Everyone loads up into the elevator before cutting to the Laboratory)
Marcella:
We heard a (Mimics
Taylor’s IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII) coming from here would Rocky know where’d come from
(Cut to Rocky Balboa
outside of Rocky’s Tank)
Rocky Balboa:
Hey yo, I think that
(Mimics Taylor’s IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII) came from in the tank! (Cut to the others)
TLOTA:
What are you still doing here?
(Cut to Rocky Balboa
outside of Rocky’s Tank)
Rocky Balboa:
Well you see I’m just
waitin’ for my ride! (Taylor and Rocky pop up out of the tank before cutting to
James)
TLOTA:
OH MY GOD! (Cut to Marcella)
Marcella:
TAYLOR?! (Cut to
Taylor)
Taylor:
MARCELLA! (Cut to Dr.
Vienerschnitzel)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
ROCKY! (Cut to Rocky
Balboa)
Rocky Balboa:
Yo! (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
NOT YOU!
(Cut to Marcella)
Marcella:
TAYLOR?! (Cut to
Taylor)
Taylor:
MARCELLA! (Cut to Dr.
Vienerschnitzel)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
ROCKY! (Cut to Rocky Balboa)
Rocky Balboa:
Yo! (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
NOT YOU! (A Gong is
rung before cutting to Tangerine in the elevator)
Tangerine:
I figured if you were all awake, maybe you’d like a bite to eat? (Cut to an
overhead shot of the group.)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
Yes, thank you
Tangerine that would be most welcomed especially with tensions now at a climax.
(Cut to everyone in
the dining room as it cuts to James and Professor Schott)
Professor Schott:
So, none of you have
seen Johnny.
TLOTA:
Uh not recently.
(Cut to Dr.
Vienerschnitzel)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
I did when he stopped off for a night. He’s still around!
(Cut to Taylor and
Marcella)
Marcella:
You know I must ask….
(Marcella whispers into Taylor’s ear and Taylor whispers back and Marcella’s
eyes bulge out of her head) YOWZA!
Taylor:
And that was after
James decided to check in on me!
Marcella:
Same here. (Cut to
James and Professor Schott!)
TLOTA:
I didn’t check in on
either of you, I thought it was you two checking in on me and Professor Schott!
Professor Schott:
You know I think it
was Johnny! He would always do something that silly.
(Cut to Dr.
Vienerschnitzel)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
ENOUGH SUBTERFUGE! (Dr. Vienerschnitzel pulls off the tablecloth to reveal
Johnny’s actual remains and everyone screams) It was I who did it all including
killing Johnny! (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
I thought I did!
(Cut to Dr.
Vienerschnitzel)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
Sad to say that was
the REAL Tommy Wiseau. Nevertheless, I did it all, except for you James you refused
me. Why? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
It’s called saving
myself for the future Mrs. James Faraci Thank You very little! So yeah call me
a virgin if you will but you know at least I still have my dignity and the
honor of being a man of my word and I hope you didn’t go near Taylor (James turns his head to the right as Taylor nervously frowns in shame before James turns his head to the left) Marcella?!
(Marcella nervously frowns in shame as James sighs in defeat before cutting to Dr.
Vienerschnitzel)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
Don’t deny it, I did
the both of you and it was FUN!
(“Wise Up Janet
Weiss” sound alike plays in the background as Dr. Vienerschnitzel grabs Taylor
and the two try to fight in the elevator as Dr. Vienerschnitzel sings)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel
(Singing):
I’ve said it once and
it’s enough you better smarten up, Taylor Huff! Your little pie crust was OH So
tough! You better smarten up Taylor Huff! (Cut to James and Marcella as they
carry Professor Schott with them up to the laboratory before cutting back to
Taylor and Dr. Vienerschnitzel as they reach the laboratory)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel
(Singing):
You were so willing
and OH SO FILLING! Though You were as
sensual as a pencil the two of us making, tell me as we made it did you hear
the bird as you screamed or was it all faking! (Taylor kicks Dr.
Vienerschnitzel in the midsection as James, Professor Schott and Marcella reach
the lab at the same time Taylor and Dr. Vienerschnitzel.)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel
(Singing):
You’ve had your time and
it was enough. You better smarten up Taylor Huff! The Magnetizer will suffice
for ya! (A Switch is thrown causing Taylor, James, Marcella and Professor
Schott to be stuck in place)
Taylor:
My legs! They’re
stuck! Marcella, You too?
Marcella:
‘Fraid so! Professor
can you move at all?
Professor Schott:
Afraid not Frauliens!
(James taps the side
of his glasses and a sonic sound is emitted before he taps it again cutting the
sonic sound)
TLOTA:
Just as I thought, A
Sonic magnet! Okay, you know there is Iron in our blood and Iron is a ferrous
mineral. (Taylor and Marcella raise their hands in frustration)
Taylor and Marcella
(In unison):
ENGLISH PLEASE!
TLOTA:
It means it’s attracted to a magnet! Well in
this case the Magnet is enhanced by a sonic frequency isolating the Iron and any
other mineral attracted by a magnet in our blood, freezing us in place!
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
YOU ARE! SO SMART!
Quake in fear you fool! A mental mindfrack can be nice! (Marcella bites Dr.
Vienerschnitzel’s hand as it touches Marcella’s face.)
Marcella:
You won’t get away
with this you creep!
Professor Schott:
Yet you can try because
you are not from here!
TLOTA:
Professor, you mean
to tell me our host is not from this country?
Professor Schott:
Not even this planet
and if he tries to escape he’ll successfully tear this planet apart.
Taylor:
So, everyone and
thing on earth will be no more?
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
NO MORE! FOREVERMORE!
TAYLOR!
Dr. Vienerschnitzel (Singing):
You better smarten up
Taylor Huff! You better smarten up, build yourself up, you better smarten up!
(Cut to the Forensic Scientist)
The Forensic
Scientist:
And then James,
Marcella and Taylor shouted. (Cut to the laboratory)
TLOTA, Marcella &
Taylor (Singing in harmony):
STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!
(Taylor smacks Dr. Vienerschnitzel)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel
(Singing):
DON’T GET MAD OR HOT
UNDER THE COLLAR! I’M JUST A LITTLE CLOSER!
TLOTA (Singing):
YOU BETTER NOT GO
NEAR HER OR I SWEAR YOU’VE PAID YOUR WAY TO HELL! VIENERSCHNITZEL! (Dr.
Vienerschnitzel snaps his fingers and a flash frame of the word “Medusifier” is
seen before James is frozen in a statue-esque filter around him!)
Professor
Schott(Singing):
YOU BETTER NOT GO
NEAR HER OR I SWEAR YOU’VE PAID YOUR WAY TO HELL! VIENERSCHNITZEL! (Dr.
Vienerschnitzel snaps his fingers and a flash frame of the word “Medusifier” is
seen before Professor Schott is frozen in a statue-esque filter around him!)
Taylor and Marcella
(Singing in Harmony):
YOU BETTER NOT GO
NEAR HER… (Dr. Vienerschnitzel snaps his fingers and a flash frame of the word
“Medusifier” is seen before Taylor and Marcella are frozen in a statue-esque
filter around them!)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
While I’m at it, do
it to Rocky and Paramount!
Paramount:
Now wait a damned…
(Dr. Vienerschnitzel snaps his fingers and a flash frame of the word
“Medusifier” is seen before Rocky and Paramount are frozen in a statue-esque
filter around them!)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
RICK ROLL, TANGERINE!
PREPARE THEM! COME! IT IS TIME FOR THE FLOOR SHOW!
(Cut to the Forensic
Scientist)
The Forensic
Scientist:
After a few hours
under the care of Tangerine and Rick Roll had gotten ready but little did they
know what they were unleashing (Cut to the theater as the curtain opens as Dr.
Vienerschnitzel come through the curtains before the curtains shows the statues
made to his image.)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
Welcome as I show you
my latest creation and my work. BEGIN THE MUSIC
(“Floor Show medley”
sound alike plays and Paramount is de Medusified and sings and dances)
Paramount (Singing):
It was amazing when
it began! You see I was a Viener fan! But it was over when he made it and then
came his “Ultimate Fan”! Now my mental health is hanging off a rope! Cause I
found me a brand-new dope! OH! aggrandize my world keep
me away from the reality! (Paramount points to Rocky as he becomes de
Medusified and sings and dances)
Rocky (Singing):
I’m only a half-day
old, yet such a sight to behold! Yet no one has to be told that every one of my
urges are totally controlled! Now the only thing I trust is my hands and they
can’t rust! Oh ooooh oh OH! aggrandize my world keep me away from the reality!
(Rocky points to James as he becomes de Medusified and sings and dances)
TLOTA (Singing):
Oooh, I can’t go
farther, PLEAAASE Forgive Me Father! I’ll be loyal just you see! Take myself
away from me! Where’s my spirit, Now I see, I feel human what’s happening? WOW!
Here it goes again! (James points to Taylor and Marcella as they become de
Medusified and sings and dances)
Taylor (Singing):
Ooooh now that we’ve
been released!
Marcella (Singing):
All the bad thoughts
they are decreased!
Taylor and Marcella
(Singing in Harmony):
Inhibitions they are
deceased! Something new is here!
Marcella (Singing):
The band has broken!
Taylor (Singing):
Our hearts are swollen! It’s been so fun since Rocky was rollin’
Marcella (Singing):
The thrust is so
severe! (The curtains open again to show the Manic-Expression.com logo with Dr.
Vienerschnitzel on the top of the dot.)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel
(Singing):
Whatever happened to
Christy Romano, the girl who every guy loved on Kim Possible and the Shia
LaBeouf show! As she endured all of Shia’s screams, I could see her dreams
being flushed down the drain! Surrender to the total rapture! Dive into the
waters of the feel of flesh! Exotic dreams beyond all human pleasure and
personal hopes are your treasure eternally! Can you all feel it? WHOA-OA-OH!
Don’t fake it! Make it!
TLOTA, Paramount,
Rocky, Dr. Vienerschnitzel, Taylor and Marcella (Singing in Harmony):
Don’t fake it! Make
it!
TLOTA, Paramount,
Rocky, Dr. Vienerschnitzel, Taylor and Marcella (Singing in Harmony):
Don’t fake it! Make
it!
(Professor Schott becomes
de Medusified and talks to James)
Professor Schott:
James, we must find a
way out!
TLOTA:
I don’t think I can
make it! My brains are starting to get warped!
Professor Schott:
You must be strong!
You must hold on! Do not fall for the trap! Or your life will be sapped…
Professor Schott
(Singing):
By the wro-oong GIRL!
(A blaster shot breaks the musical number as James protects Taylor, Marcella
and Professor Schott)
Rick Roll:
Vienerschnitzel, it's all over! The mission is
a failure! Your lifestyle's too extreme! I'm now the commander! You now are the
prisoner! We return to fanlove.com! Ready the teleport beam!
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
Never! NEVER! YOU’LL
HAVE TO KILL ME BEFORE YOU CONDEMN ME!
TLOTA (Sounding like
Tim Curry):
THAT CAN BE ARRANGED!
(Cut to Everyone turning to look at James)
Taylor:
James? Are you okay?
TLOTA (Sounding like
Tim Curry):
Push me, please. Harder, please.
Push me, please. Harder, please.
(Cut to Everyone looking at James)
Marcella:
James, have you lost what little sense you had in your head?
TLOTA (Sounding like
Tim Curry):
No, Communism
was just a Red Herring!
(Cut to Everyone
looking at James while he recites King Chicken’s backstory)
Paramount:
Hey Doc, Am I gonna
be doing what he’s doing?
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
I have no clue! This
is unprecedented! This is amazing!
TLOTA (Sounding like Tim Curry):
The black spot? You
dare to give me the black spot? Drawn on a page torn from a page from the
bible. You tore a page from the holy scriptures, to make a pirate’s death
sentence. Oh, the red-hot gates of hell are creeping open. Satan is heating his
pokers for you for you, you blasphemous heathens. Fall down on your knees and
beg for deliverance from damn…. (James spazzes out before cutting to everyone
looking in absolute fear or wonder if James is going to explode right then and
there before cutting to James Stabilizing)
TLOTA (Sounding like
Tim Curry):
Excuse me sir but do
you have Prince Albert in a can? Ya do? Well ya better let the poor guy out!
WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA!
WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA!
WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! (Cut to Everyone looking at James while he continues to Wa-Ha!)
Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
I don’t know what is happening! I swear I don’t know if I can cure him!
Professor Schott:
I think I know what
is wrong with Herr Faraci, the mixture of the Sonic devices in his glasses,
mixed with the Sonic Magnetizer combined with the Madusifier and everything
that happened has left his cerebrum and other control centers in his brain
completely beyond repair. In short…(Professor Schott stands up out of his
wheelchair and shocks everyone as his suit is slowly replaced with The Last Of
The Americans’ usual garb and takes the sonic glasses off of James and takes the
morpher off of James’ garter belt before James says “Have A Lovely Day” in the
Tim Curry voice and dissolves into a puddle of goo and Professor Schott takes
off his glasses and pulls his holographic mask is taken off to reveal the real
James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and he puts on his sonic glasses as 6:23-7:33 of
“A Good Man” by Murray Gold plays in the background)
TLOTA:
You owe me a Flesh Based Avatar DOC!
(Cut to everyone
else)
Taylor:
Would someone mind
filling in the people who are not SCI-FI aficionados?
(Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Simple, I knew Dr.
Vienerschnitzel has been trying for a while to build his monster but believe it
or not he’s evaded all earthly laws, I knew going in would be a mistake on my
part but I knew if I didn’t he’d continue in his experiment which I see he
succeeded in. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get my device through until the shield
was deactivated, which was around the time Rocky had been completed the double
did that when he looked at the panel as that was being brought to life. I had
no intentions of shirking my responsibilities to either You or Marcella it just
turned out that I had one opportunity to end that madman next to you and by
happenstance help you get to the con.
(Cut to Rick Roll and
Tangerine)
Tangerine:
He shall face judgement back on fanlove.com!
(Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Still better safe
than sorry. (James pulls out SPD Morpher) You are charged with multiple
murders, multiple violations of the Space Patrol Delta treaty of 1982 and every
violation of the entire Shadow Proclamation! Judgement Mode! (The SPD Morpher
goes between a green circle and a red x before settling on the red x) Guilty!
Okay, you two can take him back and no one has to die! (Rocky tries to run to
Dr. Vienerschnitzel before he was shot by Rick Roll and Paramount is hit by a
stray from Tangerine and Dr. Vienerschnitzel is shot as he tries to go to Rocky
and James runs to Rick Roll and Tangerine, pulls out his Sonic Screwdriver
disabling Rick Roll and Tangerine’s blasters) DAMN IT, I SAID NO ONE HAD TO DIE
DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?!
(Cut to Rick Roll and
Tangerine)
Rick Roll:
When someone is found
guilty no matter how they are incarcerated The Guilty Party and those
associated who willing aided him are executed on site!
TLOTA:
Well what about the
two of you? I guess when you broke the musical number Your allegiance ended.
Well then allow me to say You have one galactic hour to get off my planet
before I call the authorities.
Tangerine:
The Proper
authorities have been notified as they have been and we have been cleared to
leave.
TLOTA:
Fine. But if you ever
come back here, consider yourselves Grass! Ladies! To the Wheelchair! (Cut to
James as he, Taylor and Marcella go to the Wheelchair)
Marcella:
Now what? There’s
only room for one!
TLOTA:
Wait one second.
(James taps the bridge of his glasses as molecules surround the three as it
becomes James’ Time and Space Device and it disappears out of the building
before cutting to the outside as the house launches into outer space before
cutting to James, Marcella and Taylor as they look up into the sky)
Taylor:
We’ll never have a
full explanation as to why and how things got so messed up aren’t we?
TLOTA:
Yep!
Marcella:
Sort of like how the
Rocky Horror Picture Show stay so well known to everyone.
TLOTA:
There is a reason.
(Cut to audio sound
alike to “Time Warp” plays in the background and James does a voiceover on
stills from the movie.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Because it resonates
to everyone. No matter what their race, gender, political affiliation, personal
orientation or whatever makes us different on the outside. Because we somehow
find some common ground with the characters or the Rock Opera style as to how
the story of “Frankenstein” is done or just because it is FUN and with
everything we are dealing with, we need FUN a lot more. Maybe we need to see
something fun done the right way unlike the Live TV remake that happened around
this time last year and this is FUN in a unique way. Is it for everyone? Well I
wouldn’t show it to anyone under sixteen but I see why everyone would like it
and for many who were and a part of the experience would pass it on to the next
generation but if you’re going to do so, do it carefully. (Cut to James,
Marcella and Taylor outside the crater of where the manor was)
Taylor:
Well can I ask
something? Was Professor Schott real? Was Johnny real? (Cut to “Johnny”
standing by the minivan)
Johnny:
There was no Johnny!
I am Johnny but everyone knows me as someone else. (Johnny takes off his mask
to reveal himself to be Tommy Wiseau played by Paulo Fonseca)
Tommy Wiseau:
I am Tommy Wiseau!
(Cut to James, Marcella and Taylor outside the crater of where the manor was)
Marcella:
So, when James
“Killed” you?
(Cut to Tommy Wiseau
standing by the minivan)
Tommy Wiseau:
He shot me with Mel!
(Cut to James, Marcella and Taylor outside the crater of where the manor was)
TLOTA:
I think he means
Blanks! (Taylor and Marcella go “OH!” before cutting to Tommy Wiseau standing
by the Minivan)
Tommy Wiseau:
I have to go now!
Here are your keys to the van! Bye! (Tommy Wiseau walks away leaving Taylor,
Marcella and James understandably confused.)
TLOTA:
I’ll tell you
everything about the plan later. (Taylor and Marcella throw their
hands up in defeat and walk off screen) I’m James Faraci The Last Of The
Americans and... One moment. (Cut to the Forensic Scientist’s library.)
TLOTA:
Dude, I’ve got this.
(The Forensic Scientist walks away as “Superheroes” sound alike from the
2:20-3:03 mark plays in the background)
TLOTA (Sing Speak):
And somewhere out
there, in the depths of space. Lies a bright and stable sun and on its third
satellite the human race! Through their own ego, lead to everyone dying and somewhere
out there…God is crying! (James walks away from the brightly lit globe as
backup singers sing “CRY-Y-Y-ING!” and James closes the door as the globe shuts
off.)
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