(Scene starts with James at his office laptop)
TLOTA: Ah, the storyline is set and now to move on to the
rest of 2017. (Cut to James deleting an old file)
TLOTA: Now onto Eliza and Traci’s farewell review. Which was
in the file… that just got… (James starts to drop an F-Bomb before cutting to
Traci & Eliza on the screen via Skype.)
Traci & Eliza (In Unison): YOU WANT US TO DO WHAT? (Cut
to James)
TLOTA: Come back, one day of filming for your farewell and
Brenda, Ed and Andrew’s intro and that’d be it! (Cut Eliza & Traci on the
Screen)
Eliza Dushku: It’s not that we’re ungrateful far from it,
unfortunately the scheduling is gonna be a pain in the ass! (Cut to James)
TLOTA: Look I know opportunities have come your way. But all
I’m asking for is one day. I’m not asking for anything long term, maybe a cameo
now and then if you can. (Cut to Eliza
& Traci on the screen.)
Traci Hines: But getting there isn’t as easy as it you think
it’ll be. Besides we’ve got conventions, auditions and our own lives to think about.
(Cut to James)
TLOTA: But it would’ve been funny seeing Traci suffer every
single death Kenny endured on South Park and Eliza get hit with every death
from Game Of Thrones only to have the both of you have a piano flatten the two
of you like bugs! (Cut Eliza & Traci on the Screen)
Traci & Eliza (In Unison): IT’S NOT GONNA HAPPEN! (The
two log off before cutting to James)
TLOTA: Great, now what am I going to do? Have me, Paulo,
Rebecca, Nick, John, Mike, Renee, Eric and Olivia find…. (Cut to the main lobby
as everyone discovers a disc.)
TLOTA: A video message left by Traci & Eliza! (Cut to
the Television as Eliza & Traci’s message plays)
Eliza Dushku: Hey guys, By the time you see this, Me and
Traci would have left for better pastures. But as one door closes another does
open.
Traci Hines: And although we’ll be back when we can. We’ll
remember all the fun we had. The Sketches we were a part of.
Eliza Dushku: The Star Wars Force Awakens analysis.
Traci & Eliza (In Unison): The Ghostbusters 2016 review.
Traci Hines: The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 2 review
AND the Jem and The Holograms review
Eliza Dushku: Me discovering so much about you James and
updating your suit.
Traci & Eliza (In Unison): Every memory of working with
you guys.
Traci Hines: You guys are amazing and me and Eliza think the
world of you guys. Thank you so much for letting us be a part of the experience
and Eliza, you have anything else you want to say? (Eliza reaches for a piece
of paper)
Eliza Dushku (Reading off the piece of paper): Should Traci
or I suffer every single death from either South Park and/or Game Of Thrones
and then have a piano squash us like bugs, don’t be surprised. (Cut to everyone
on the couch)
Everyone: We won’t. (James shuts off the message)
TLOTA: So, Eliza and Traci are gone for good. I’m not
deterred by it. (A door opens off-screen before cutting to the front door to
see Paulo’s wife Brenda in the door.)
Brenda Fonseca: Hey Paulo, I thought you were gonna let El
Pollo Loco gringo know that you were going to leave. (Cut to everyone on the
couch)
TLOTA: WHY?! (Cut to Brenda)
Brenda Fonseca: He’s spending FAR too much time with you
instead of me. (James gets up and goes to meet Brenda.)
TLOTA: Who are you?
Brenda Fonseca: I’m Brenda, Paulo’s wife. We met at all those
parties you throw here. (James smacks himself on the forehead)
TLOTA: YES! Now I remember you, listen we’ve had some
positions that just opened and I’ve been hearing about how much your husband
misses spending time with you. How would you like to join our Motley Crew?
You’ll get to spend more time with your husband, you’ll be able to meet new
people and get to have some fun!
Brenda Fonseca: Let me think. (Brenda stands there for a
second.) Okay, but just so you know Pendejo you get on my bad side and you
won’t live to regret it. Comprende
TLOTA: Comprendo. (The Door opens as Brenda lands on James
and her kneeing James in the po-pos as she gets up.)
Brenda Fonseca: Okay, who has the death wish. (Cut to Ed
Champion and Andrew Beach holding each other as they cry in fear before cutting
to James behind Brenda)
TLOTA: Ed, Andrew, how have things been for you guys? (Cut
to Ed & Andrew)
Ed Champion: Oh, things have been rough. I’m in need of a
job, so does Andrew. (Cut to James)
TLOTA: Say no more, You two are in! (Cut to Ed & Andrew)
Andrew Beach: Sweet, The Old gang is back together! (Cut to
James thinking to himself)
TLOTA: That’s RIGHT! The Band is Back Together! Circle
Around and Nick, feel free to join us! (Cut to an overhead shot of James
Faraci, John & Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion, Eric Kurtzke, Paulo
Fonseca and Nick Yaun)
TLOTA (Audio as he puts his right hand in): James Faraci!
John Ross Santos (Audio as he puts his right hand in): John
Ross Santos!
Mike Santos (Audio as he puts his right hand in): Mike
Santos!
Andrew Beach (Audio as he puts his right hand in): Andrew
Beach!
Ed Champion (Audio as he puts his right hand in): Ed
Champion!
Eric Kurtzke (Audio as he puts his right hand in): Eric
Kurtzke!
Paulo Fonseca (Audio as he puts his right hand in): Paulo
Fonseca!
Nick Yaun (Audio as he puts his right hand in): Nick Yaun!
(Cut to James’ face)
TLOTA: Together, we are New York born, Sullivan County Bound
Heart & Soul and nothing will break the bond for we are NY4… (Cut to an
overhead shot of James Faraci, John & Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, Ed
Champion, Eric Kurtzke, Paulo Fonseca and Nick Yaun)
Every guy in the circle: FOR LIFE! WHOOOOOOO! (A Bolt of
lightning supercharges them before cutting to James and the guys looking as the
scene cuts to the girls with the thought of Bobbitizing them before cutting to
the guys.)
TLOTA: OKAY, Ladies I understand you’re not exactly happy
with what we did, so why don’t we get going and HIT…. (Eric, John, Mike, Nick,
Paulo, Rebecca & Renee shout “NO!”) Aw Come on guys! (Cut to Paulo)
Paulo Fonseca: Every April, you say it like it means
something. (Cut to James)
TLOTA: But it does, I mean was Olivia part of the show last
year, I mean fully last year? She helped since August and Your Wife Now I
remember was in the Cold Sketch before the intro of The Ghostbusters 2016
review and Ed and Andrew are starting today, so it is by technicality A New
Intro! (Eric, John, Mike, Nick, Paulo, Rebecca & Renee begrudgingly say
“Fine”) Thanks, Now HIT THAT AWESOMELY SUPER COOL NEW INTRO!
(Cut to A Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart
with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it
into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 from the
0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators
original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American
Gladiators shows James Faraci morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The
Americans with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with the American flag design on it,
Blue cargo Jeans and Black Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the
final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James
stocking up on his arsenal from the Classic Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers
Morpher, a bandoleer stocked up with Sonic Screwdrivers, Ammunition for a 303
British Rifle and said rifle, The Ring Of Aeon, The Gem From the Gauntlet
Malachite’s Hand, Emmalina’s amulet and the Sword Of Caliverti from 0:08-0:15
mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators. 0:15-0:29
mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run
shows James leaping and running through moments from the 2016 calendar year of
his reviews ranging from James morphing into his new suit for the first time,
James getting slapped by Paulo, Mr. B Natural pop jump cutting into frame as
James grabs Rowdy & The Nostalgia Kid as they scream in terror, Traci Hines
shooting the Double Barreled handgun, Everyone trying to stop Eliza Dushku from
using her switchblade knife on an unconscious Spoony, James blast jumps and Eliza rolls out of the
way as an electrical pulse knocks out everyone else before cutting to the clip
of The Moviebusters pulling out their Proton Pack blasters until the 0:30 mark
from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows the team
line-up of the majority of 2015 walking towards the screen as the camera rises
over to see the American Flag and James’ signal in the sky as before cutting to
James as he jumps and pulls out a sonic screwdriver before cutting over to a
slab of titanium where lasers cut out “The Last Of The Americans” until 0:36
mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run
when James lands on top of the slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo &
Brenda Fonseca, Andrew Beach, John Santos & Eric Kurtzke on his right and
Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Ed Champion, Olivia Horvath, Renee Miller and Mike
Santos on his left doing their own heroic poses on a black background the
0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators
original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with
the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to a black screen
that says in white text “Four Months Ago” before cutting to James, Paulo,
Brenda, Nick & Rebecca in the Office Kitchen enjoying a bite to eat.)
TLOTA: You guys check out that Power Rangers Movie Trailer?
Paulo Fonseca: Yeah, it didn’t feel like the show we watched
when we were younger.
Rebecca Yaun: And what about those suits?
Nick Yaun: Looked like Marks of Iron Man that even Tony
Stark would’ve rejected.
Brenda Fonseca: Well, from what I heard they got some good
casting choices. I mean Bryan “Heisenberg” Cranston as Zordon, Elizabeth Banks
as Rita Repulsa and from what I’ve heard Bill Hader is Alpha 5. Plus, they are
going to use Bryan Tyler for the music and they got Ashley Miller and Zack
Stentz to write and the Director from Project Almanac to direct this one.
TLOTA: Well, I would like to try to see it. I mean I’m not
so stuck in the past that I’m not willing to see a part of my childhood in a
new light. I saw the 2016 Ghostbusters and I liked it fine and it didn’t take
away my childhood love of the Movies and the cartoons I saw then and besides
it’s not like Power Rangers isn’t due for an update. Who knows, it might be
better than we give it credit for.
Paulo Fonseca: You sure have a lot of faith in this movie.
TLOTA: I’ve got to, it’s not like the Power Rangers attempts
for the big screen can get worse than “Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie”. Not
saying it was a bad movie but as a pilot for Power Rangers Turbo it could’ve
been worse. So, here’s hoping that the
new Power Rangers movie puts the Rangers right where they belong, on the top
echelon of Superheroes alongside the DC & Marvel Universe.
Rebecca Yaun: We hear ya! (Everyone in the office kitchen
raises their drinks to cheer each other before fading to black and in white
text are the words “Present Day” as it cuts to James as he enters to the main
hall way where he’s intercepted by Olivia Horvath, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller
with John and Mike Santos as they hold James at gunpoint before cutting to James
looking as if he’s going to soil himself.)
TLOTA: Didn’t Rebecca pay you before she went to Texas with
her husband, her brother, her sister in law, Andrew
Beach & Ed Champion to give ORAC to help the Ninja Cats find Rowdy? (Cut to Olivia
Horvath, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, John and Mike Santos)
Eric Kurtzke: We heard you went to see the Power Rangers
movie. (Cut to James)
TLOTA: I just came back from watching it! (Cut to Olivia
Horvath, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, John and Mike Santos)
Olivia Horvath: You do realize that there are people who
hate this movie because it betrays everything done in the near quarter century
Power Rangers have been about!
John Santos: That’s what’s pissing you off! We’re pissed
that it is an insult to the loyalty of the history of Power Rangers! So much so
we tweeted, facebooked, snapchatted and Instagramed you as the Anti-Christ you
are! (Cut to James)
TLOTA: I think with everything going cuckoo for cocoa puffs
I HIGHLY DOUBT ANYONE IS GONNA GO ON THE ATTACK ABOUT THE POWER RANGERS! (Cut
to a building exterior with the words “Department of Social Justice” before
cutting to an office where three social justice Champions played by Ed
Champion, Rebecca Yaun & Andrew Beach are doing their daily trolling.)
Dax (Played by Andrew Beach): So, Kat, Troy anything new
that we should be aware of?
Troy (Played by Ed Champion): More rioting, protests and
extremist actions by the Anti-Trump movement including attacks on NYSEG!
Dax: Pass!
Kat (Played by Rebecca Yaun): More Political scandals!
Dax: Double Pass!
Troy: Someone thinking of reviewing the new Power Rangers
movie… (The eyes of the three bug out of their head.)
Troy, Kat & Dax (In Unison): Someone thinking of
reviewing the new Power Rangers movie! AVANTI!
(Cut to the outside of a church and the words “Holy Land Of
Wasted Lives” as Gregorian chants are heard before cutting to a priest played
by Nick Yaun chanting in Latin and tossing in names of actors, seasons and
characters of Power Rangers tossed into the mix, and as The priest says “Heil
Zordon” a nun played by Brenda Fonseca runs into frame.)
Sister Kimberly (Played by Brenda Fonseca): Forgive me
Father Bulkmeier, but a friend of yours is here with disturbing news. Rabbi
Skullovitch, if you’d please! (Rabbi Skullovitch played by Paulo Fonseca comes
in with a smart phone in one hand.)
Rabbi Skullovitch: Thank you Sister Kimberly, Father
Bulkmeier, if you would read the message on my phone and maybe we can deal with
the Schmendrick, put him back in his place maybe? (Father Bulkmeier looks at what’s on the
Smart Phone)
Father Bulkmeier: OY GEVALT! If the congregation will excuse
us, we have matters to attend to! (Gregorian chant is sped up as the three pray
in their own way and shuffle off stage right before cutting back to James’
office.)
TLOTA: Now if you guys will excuse…ME! I’ve got a review to
do!
Dax(Off-Screen): I THINK NOT! (Cut to Dax, Troy & Kat
blocking the backdoor before cutting to James as Olivia Horvath, Eric Kurtzke,
Renee Miller, John and Mike Santos are in the background.)
TLOTA: Let me guess, Social Justice Champions? (The Social
Justice Champions come face to face with James.)
Kat, Troy & Dax (In Unison): JAWOHL! CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN NAZI SCUM!
Dax: And we are here to shut you down!
Kat: We will NOT let you review the new Power Rangers movie!
Troy: All because you will hate it, you’re an internet
reviewer. It is your job to dislike everything.
TLOTA: I didn’t dislike the 2016 Ghostbusters movie. Besides
I’m open to new interpretations of Power Rangers, why do you think I’m watching
Ninja Steel and why do you think I watched the new movie?
Father Bulkmeier (Off-Screen): BLASHPHEMER!
Sister Kimberly (Off-Screen): HERETIC!
Rabbi Skullovitch (Off-Screen): GOYIM MENSCH MESHUGGENAH
SCHMUCK HITLER BASTARD! (Cut to Father Bulkmeier, Sister Kimberly & Rabbi
Skullovitch coming to James and everyone else.)
TLOTA: OH GOODIE! Father Bulkmeier and Sister Kimberly from
St. Zordon’s Basilica and Rabbi Skullovitch of the Temple Beth-Eltar! (Olivia and Eric jump to the religious sect)
Olivia Horvath: And they shall help you see the light. (Cut
to James)
Eric Kurtzke (Audio only): For they shall set you straight for those who
go against the word of the “Power Rangers” with the power of Shame!
TLOTA: Good freakin’ Grief! (Cut to The Religious Sect)
Olivia & Eric (In Unison): SHAME!
Father Bulkmeier, Rabbi Skullovitch, Sister Kimberly, Olivia
& Eric (In Unison): SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! (Cut to James caught
between the two sides as they look to collide)
TLOTA: EVERYONE HERE HAS GONE FRIGGIN’ NUTS! (James pulls
out his Sonic Screwdriver) DELTA LEVEL DEFENSE! (A pulse of electricity hits
everyone as James runs for his office.)
TLOTA: Initiate Alpha lockdown, Level Five! Authorization:
Madison, Mallory, Vivian Lee! (Cut to John trying to get the door open with his
Sonic Screwdriver but to no effect)
Troy: So, it appears he has locked himself in!
Father Bulkmeier:
GOOD! Then let us partake in the real war!
Kat: Oh Yes, The REAL war!
Olivia Horvath: Let the two online extremes collide in the
ultimate battle!
John Santos: YES! The ULLLLLLLLLTIMATE BATTLE! (Cut to
everyone on their tablets/smartphones texting and typing away!)
Sister Kimberly: I’ve sent you a nasty tweet!
Mike Santos: Here comes one nasty pic of your ugly backside
in an Instagram!
Eric Kurtzke: Well, I’ll see your Instagram and raise you a
Snapchat!
Dax: Here comes a Meme that’s a whopper!
Rabbi Skullovitch: Well here comes a tumblr & reddit
that’ll send you back into your place! (Cut to James as he gets into frame in
his office with his desk and laptop computer on one side and on the other side
“The Letter”)
TLOTA: Well it seems I’ve come upon yet ANOTHER movie where
everyone is so divided! (Cut to the Power Rangers 2017 movie logo before
cutting to stills from the movie and recreated clips by team TLOTA as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (Voiceover): Yeah, everyone has a point of view on the
new Power Rangers movie. Whether it’s those who are religiously watching to
this day to those who tire of real world politics and want to see simple good
vs evil with easy dilemmas over a long story arc! And this movie wants to set
up arcs and stories for future movies while re-telling the origins of the
classic Mighty Morphin Power Rangers line-up. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: I’ve seen this movie! (Muted Audio of the Religious
sect shouting “SHAME!”) And I now must talk about it, this is “Power Rangers”!
(Cut to recreated clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover): So, our movie begins with the Rangers in
the days of the Dinosaurs, when the Green Ranger betrays the team and guess who
is in the Green Ranger suit? (The Green Ranger pulls off the helmet to reveal
the Old-School Rita Repulsa hat and head played by Olivia Horvath) WAIT A
SECOND?! (Cut to James in his office)
TLOTA: RITA?! YOU’RE THE GREEN RANGER?! (Cut to recreated
clips of the movie as overdubs Olivia Horvath’s characterization of Rita)
Rita (Played by Olivia Horvath but dubbed a half second out
of synch by Amy Jo Johnson sounding like Rita from the classic series): WELL
HOW ELSE DO YOU THINK I GOT THE GREEN POWER COIN IN THE ORIGINAL SERIES?! (Cut
to James opening his mouth getting ready to say something before he thinks and
nods.)
TLOTA: That makes sense. (Cut to clips of Rita and The Green
Ranger in the old-school show and stills from the opening of the movie as James
does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover): We were never Privy as to how Rita got
the Coin of The Green Ranger. For all we knew she helped Zordon back ten
thousand years ago, before whatever happened to make her into the sorceress
that wanted to destroy the Rangers so this does give Rita played by Elizabeth Banks a good back story!
(Cut to recreated clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover): But I digress, The Red Ranger decides
that with the rest of the team nearly gone, he must sacrifice himself and The Red
Ranger just so happens to be… (The Red Ranger reveals himself to be Zordon)
Zordon (Played by James Faraci): Alpha Five Do what you must
to protect the Power Coins.
Alpha Five (In Suit by Renee Miller but voiced by Eric
Kurtzke): But Zordon that could also destroy you and the Dinosaurs!
Zordon (Played by James Faraci): If you don’t think I know
that then I’ll do it myself!
Alpha Five (In Suit by Renee Miller but voiced by Eric
Kurtzke): Ay-Yi-Yi! I’ll do as you ask of me! Good Grief! (An explosion happens)
TLOTA (Voiceover): That explosion is what sends the
Meteorite that killed the Dinosaurs & Zordon, buries The Command Center and
send Rita down to the bottom of the Ocean. We then cut to the modern-day city
of Angel Grove where Jason played by Dacre Montgomery and a group of his
friends are up to some shenanigans which unfortunately leads to Jason winding
up getting him placed in House Arrest & detention with Billy played by
RJ Cyler & Kimberly played by Naomi Scott. In the middle of their Detention
Billy decides to include Jason & Kimberly on a plan he has.
Billy (Played by Nicholas Markin): There’s this gold cave I
saw and I want to explore inside of it.
Kimberly (Played by Brenda Fonseca): Uh hello, there was no
gold in there even back in the day of Cowboys.
Billy (Played by Nicholas Markin): But there could be some
form of material that we haven’t seen on the elemental table.
Jason (Played by Nick Yaun): If we go with you, will you be
quiet for the rest of our time in here?
Billy (Played by Nicholas Markin): Okay.
TLOTA (Voiceover): Later that night, the three get to the
cave and blow open an entrance which attracts the attention of two other teens
Trini played by Becky G & Zack played by Ludi Lin.
Zack (Played by Antoni Matteo Garcia): Hey Trini get those
other guys here from that guy’s explosion. I found these weird coin thingies!
Trini (Played by Rebecca Yaun): What are they? (Police
sirens blare)
Jason (Played by Nick Yaun): No time to figure that out,
here come the cops!
TLOTA (Voiceover): After evading the cops, crashing their ride
and surviving, the next morning they discover they have superpowers and decide
to return to the cave there they meet Alpha 5 voiced by Bill Hader and Zordon
played by Bryan Cranston.
Zordon (Played by James Faraci): I am Zordon and… WAIT A
SECOND! You five kids are now the Power Rangers? Now I know we’re up that
proverbial creek sans a paddle, a boat and life preservers! Okay, I’ll make the
best of it. Listen we have 11 days before a witch who was once a Ranger who
betrayed the team named Rita Repulsa is back at full power and finds the Zeo
Crystal. So, guess what You five have no choice but to train and become Power
Rangers.
TLOTA (Voiceover): Meanwhile Rita escapes her frozen tomb!
Rita (Played by Olivia Horvath but dubbed a half second out
of synch by Amy Jo Johnson sounding like Rita from the classic series): AHHH!
AFTER 65 MILLION YEARS, I’M FREE! IT’S TIME TO CONQUER EARTH! BUT FIRST I NEED
GOLD! (Turl from “Battlefield Earth” stands next to her)
Turl (Played by Paulo Fonseca): Well good luck getting these
Rat Brains to get it for you. (Rita vaporizes Turl)
Rita (Played by Olivia Horvath but dubbed a half second out
of synch by Amy Jo Johnson sounding like Rita from the classic series): I DON’T
NEED YOUR HELP BUT I WILL GET THE GOLD AND THE ZEO CRYSTAL!
TLOTA (Voiceover): As their training progresses slowly for
Zordon’s wants and the fact they haven’t morphed into their suits yet Zordon
tries to get them to morph quickly by revealing the Zords to them. Zack takes
his out for a joyride and the results aren’t good!
Jason (Played by Nick Yaun): GIVE ME YOUR COIN!
Zack (Played by Antoni Matteo Garcia): WHY?!
Jason (Played by Nick Yaun): We nearly got squished Monty
Python Style! (Jason punches Zack, Zack accidentally punches Billy and Billy
Morphs. Everyone cheer as Zack High-Fives Billy and everyone goes aww! Before
cutting to The Command Center)
TLOTA (Voiceover): Feeling as if for every five steps
forward the Rangers take, they take 500 steps backwards Zordon believes there’s
only one option to take after he dismisses them for the day.
Zordon (Played by James Faraci): As soon as they can access
The Morphing Grid I’ll use it to return to my corporeal form and finish Rita
off myself. (Jason walks in after hearing that)
Jason (Played by Nick Yaun): YOU SELFISH AND DISRESPECTFUL
SON OF A BITCH!
Zordon (Played by James Faraci): JASON! Uh, just how much of
my funny April Fool’s joke did you hear!
Jason (Played by Nick Yaun): April Fool’s joke my ass! Just
because we’re not going as fast as you want us to, it doesn’t mean we’re not
trying.
Zordon (Played by James Faraci): Jason, you do not
understand.
Jason (Played by Nick Yaun): NO, I DO! YOU’RE GONNA USE US
FOR YOUR OWN SELFISH PURPOSES YOU BASTARD! YOU’RE POSSIBLY NO BETTER THAN THIS
RITA WE SHOULD FACE. We’ll fight her, but we won’t help you.
(Cut to James in his office before a loud yet muted “WAIT!”
by Father Bulkmeier is heard, before cutting to the outside of James’ office.)
Father Bulkmeier: That is sacrilege of the HIGHEST CALIBER!
(Cut to James inside his office)
TLOTA: YOU DON’T THINK I KNOW? BELIVE ME I KNOW, I was
watching the series since the preview episode in August of 1993!
(Cut to outside of the office when three voices off screen
shout “SO DID WE!” as three fans dressed in Old School MMPR gear played by Gus
Webb in a Green MMPR Ranger suit, Antoni Matteo Garcia in a Blue MMPR Ranger
suit and Chris Lee Moore in a Black MMPR suit before cutting to James in his
office.)
TLOTA: Just when I thought I’ve heard and seen EVERYTHING!
PURISTS! (Cut to the purists.)
Purist “Tommy” (Played by Gus Webb): This movie doesn’t even
do the origin right!
Purist “Jason” (Played by Antoni Matteo Garcia): Zordon
SPECIFICALLY chose the five!
Purist “Billy” (Played by Chris Lee Moore): AND they chose
originally NOT to serve until the Putties went on the attack! (Cut to Religious
sect)
Father Bulkmeier: They do not speak for myself, Sister
Kimberly nor do they speak upon the behalf of The Good Rabbi from Temple
Beth-Eltar. (Cut to the purists)
Billy: Oh, the religious sect! YOU GUYS KNOW THAT THE 1995
MOVIE DOESN’T COUNT IN CONTINUITY WITH THE REAL FRANCHISE LIKE WITH “Turbo: A
Power Rangers Movie”! (Cut to the Religious Sect)
Rabbi Skullovitch: OH, so you goys want the UNOrthodox
denomination! They don’t believe the 1995 movie exists either! (Cut to the
entryway into the second hallway as The Captivating Christian stands in there.)
Chris T. Ian: Now that’s not true! We believe the movie exists,
we believe it was a good alternate reality version of the Ninja Quest, it’s
just that we do not believe it is the word of the Power Rangers (Cut to Religious
Sect)
Sister Kimberly: You’re about as authentic as the “Tattooed
Teenage Alien Fighters From Beverly Hills” Witnesses!
(Cut to Captivating Christian)
Chris T. Ian: Well at least we’re more authentic than the
Power Rangers of the Disney Day Saints!
(Cut to purists)
“Tommy” & “Jason” (In unison): YOU GUYS GOT A GUINEA PIG
IN A RELIGION!
(Cut to everyone arguing before cutting to The Captivating
Christian)
Chris T. Ian: Operation Overdrive! Even I don’t acknowledge
them! (Cut to everyone arguing again as it cuts to James sighing in his office
as the audio of the argument before pulling out a bottle of aspirin and a
bottle of Martinelli’s)
TLOTA: I need a break whilst I pray for humanity, intelligence
and sanity! We’ll be right back!
(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of
American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top
of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it act as the
commercial break intro and return to the reenacted scenes of the movie while
James does a voice over)
TLOTA (Voiceover): Feeling betrayed by Zordon, Jason storms
off to where everyone else is camped out for the night outside of the command
center and to this movie’s credit there is a bit of good character development
and we get some discoveries on the Rangers personally.
Billy (Played by Nicholas Markin): I’m autistic and I like making
things explode.
Zack (Played by Antoni Matteo Garcia): I’m bilingual.
Trini (Played by Rebecca Yaun): I’m bi (Cut to James’ office
door)
Dax: So, this is where you dislike about the characters of
the Rangers will come into play, how different they are from their source
material. (Cut to James in his office)
TLOTA: To be honest, I don’t mind these changes to the
Rangers for two reasons. (Cut to stills of Power Rangers 2017 and the Original
Five Rangers as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover): First
off, the Rangers in the series weren’t bad as a matter of fact they became
Iconic for a reason. But I feel I must take off the Nostalgia Filter for this
one. Because for all intent and purposes the Rangers personalities were pretty
basic. Jason was the stoic leader, Zack was The Fun-Loving Guy, Billy was the
brains, Trini was the best friend and could translate Billy’s Scientific Jargon
and Kimberly was the stereotypical 90’s teen. Not saying it was a bad thing
it’s just that’s what Teens with Attitude were like back then. But here the
need for “Attitude” has changed and Attitude plus Personalities working for
what is needed for the new Power Rangers worked in this movie’s favor.
(Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: And secondly, this one is important so uh… (Cut to
the door)
Dax: Dax! (Cut to James)
TLOTA: Dax, Okay are you at the door? (Cut to Dax)
Dax: Yes! (Cut to James)
TLOTA: Good, put your ear up to the door. (James gets up and
grabs a bull-horn)
TLOTA: SHUT UP DAX-HOLE! (Dax jump shocks back and falls
before cutting back to the reenacted scenes of the movie while James does a
voice over)
TLOTA (Voiceover): After getting back home Trini is greeted
by an unwelcomed guest. (Rita pops in and attacks Trini)
Rita (Played by Olivia Horvath but dubbed a half second out
of synch by Amy Jo Johnson sounding like Rita from the classic series): LISTEN,
YOU WILL BRING YOUR FELLOW RANGERS AT THE DOCKS OR ELSE!
Trini (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Or else what… (Rita choke
slams Trini with one hand then decides to “Chomp down” on her south of the
Mason Dixon Line and Trini shout “AAAAAAAAAAAAAWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGAH!” Before
cutting to James looking disturbed)
Kat (Muted audio only): You only think it’s disturbing that
because you’re a Conservative Republican and as the Mainstream News Media
outlets and Samantha Bee have let us know that Republicans are Nazis & Trash
like yourself need to be eradicated!
TLOTA: SHUT UP! I
wasn’t disturbed by the fact that Rita did that but by the fact she was so
competent in this plan. (Cut to stills from Rita in the classic series and Rita
played by Elizabeth Banks in the 2017 movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover): As much as Rita in the original series
had the odd victory against the Rangers especially in the first and second Season
especially when the producers decided to have Rita marry Lord Zedd the two of
them became even more successful as the third season of the original series
went on but that was usually two times out of eight because The Rangers had
their backs so close to the wall and were literally optionless! But here the
new movie Rita shows some competence by
attacking the Rangers or at least one of them on a level that she never did in
the series. She attacked them as people with their own foibles and desires. That
doesn’t mean she didn’t discard everything about Rita. She just brought her own
sensibilities to the character and for the most part it was okay but as an
old-school fan she left me feeling disturbed.
(Cut to recreated clips of the movie as James does a
voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover): Especially when Rita’s plan works so
efficiently when the Rangers are caught, Billy is forced to spill he found the
Zeo Crystal under the Krispy Kreme and is KILLED by Rita! (Cut to James
physically)
TLOTA: That’s right! Rita Repulsa killed a Ranger! (Cut to
recreated clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover): So, after they mourn, the Rangers ponder
what to do as Jason tells everyone what he discovered.
Jason (Played by Nick Yaun): We can’t let Rita get her hands
on the Zeo Crystal but we can’t let Zordon get it either!
Trini, Zack & Kimberly (In unison): Why? (Cut to the
Command Center)
Zack (Played by Antoni Matteo Garcia): Just when we thought
we could trust you, you plan on reviving yourself once we get the Zeo Crystal
and unlock the Morphing Grid?! YOU WALTER WHITE WIZARD OF OZ qīng wā tuó fēng gǒu niáng yǎng de！
Zordon (Played by James Faraci): Zachary, I don’t know what you’re talking
about!
Trini (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Jason told us how once we
had the Zeo Crystal you would use it to resurrect yourself, so you could
destroy Rita yourself because heavens forbid we aren’t as great as the Rangers
from when you were The Red Ranger!
Kimberly (Played by Brenda Fonseca): And I know we’re
supposed to beg you to help us save Billy who died protecting us, but now after
hearing that bit of news I don’t think YOU should have the Zeo Crystal either.
Zordon (Played by James Faraci): Kimberly, I would have done
that because I feel you aren’t ready yet and after becoming what I have become,
I said to myself I would never allow people who aren’t prepared to handle the
power to take on the fight I started and I must finish.
Jason (Played by Nick Yaun): Listen, we found the Power
Coins, we learned about the power, what we haven’t learned is for you to trust
us to do what we can to save our city, our state, our country, our world and we
can’t morph yet SO WHAT?! We’ll finish what you started but you have to trust
us to do what we must to do our duty and we PROMISE you WE WILL do our duty to
save it all! (00:59-2:13 of “The Great Power” by Graeme Revell plays in the
background as The Morphing Grid is activated)
TLOTA (Voiceover): As the Rangers make that impassioned
promise to Zordon, The Morphing Grid activates and Zordon sacrifices his chance
to resurrect himself to save Billy! (Everyone cheers as Billy is brought back
from the Dead and Hug and cry as they happily welcome Billy back! Before a loud
“HEY!” audio is heard before cutting to outside of James’ office door)
Purist “Billy” (Played by Chris Lee Moore): ZORDON WASN’T SO
MUCH OF A DICK AS EVERYONE MADE HIM OUT TO BE!
Purist “Jason” (Played by Antoni Matteo Garcia): True,
Zordon would never have been that callous and cold.
Purist “Tommy” (Played by Gus Webb): And for the Rangers to
chew him out and then promise to save the Earth is just wrong for them to do
just to revive Billy and activate The Morphing Grid! (Cut to James in his
office Purist “Tommy” continues to ramble on about The Morphing Grid through
the door as James looks outside and sees the Purists are on the door and James
hits the door and The Purists feel the punch and collapse before cutting back
to the reenacted scenes of the movie while James does a voice over)
TLOTA (Voiceover): So, The Rangers activate The Morphing
Grid and Rita is just outside The Krispy Kreme and of course IT… IS… TIME! (The
Camera zooms a quarter of an inch away from Jason’s face)
Jason (Played by Nick Yaun): IT’S MORPHIN TIME! (Cut to the new
Morpher as it powers up before cutting to a close-up of the center of the
Morpher as it matches the color of the ranger shouting their power)
Zack (Played by Antoni Matteo Garcia): MASTADON!
Kimberly (Played by Brenda Fonseca): PTERADACTYL!
Billy (Played by Nicholas Markin): TRICERATOPS!
Trini (Played by Rebecca Yaun): SABER-TOOTHED TIGER!
Jason (Played by Nick Yaun):
TYRANNOSAURUS! (Zoom to Jason’s head as it morphs to the 2017’s Red
Ranger’s helmet before cutting to the team taking flying jumps over the camera
before landing and the camera zooms back to see the team and posing in their
suits.)
TLOTA (Voiceover): So, Rita sends in her putty patrol to
take on the Power Rangers and I’ve got to admit the action is on par with the
classic series as to how The Power Rangers fight them off. And while yes, the
Rangers’ suits look like Iron Man Rejected Marks with Helmets that look more
like Jackson Pollack designed them I must admit they’re a step up from the
suits in the Classic Series but a Step Down from the 1995 movie! (Cut to James
physically)
Purist “Tommy” (Off Screen and Slightly muted): THAT MOVIE
IS NOT IN CANNON WITH THE FRANCHISE YOU DISRESPECTFUL PILE OF GARBAGE!
Father Bulkmeier (Off-Screen and Slightly muted):
BLASHPHEMER!
Dax (Off-Screen and Slightly muted): NAZI REPUBLICAN!
Rabbi Skullovitch (Off-Screen and Slightly muted):
SCHMENDRICK!
TLOTA: SHUT UP! (Cut to recreated clips of the movie as
James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover): As the Power Rangers try to get to Rita,
Rita finds the Zeo Crystal and then…. (Rita takes a bite out of a doughnut seductively
before cutting to James physically looking disturbed)
TLOTA: Thanks Rita I may never enjoy another doughnut again!
(Cut to recreated clips of the movie after Rita finishes her bite of Doughnut)
Rita (Played by Olivia Horvath but dubbed a half second out
of synch by Amy Jo Johnson sounding like Rita from the classic series): OH
WHAT! IT’S NOT LIKE I WAS DOING THIS! (Rita sticks and licks the inside of the
hole of the doughnut and making BL-BL-BL-BL sounds before cutting to James as
he begins to look sick then cutting back to Rita) AND I SURE AS HELL WASN’T
FISTING THE DOUGHNUT, LIKE SO! (Cut to James as his cheeks start to puff up as
Rita makes grunting noises before cutting to Rita with a doughnut hole pearl
necklace) AND I ESPECIALLY DIDN’T DO A PEARL NECKLACE AND DO THIS! (Cut to
James as he gets his barf keg and Rita makes chomping sounds then blows chunks
before cutting to recreated clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover): So, after that Rita summons someone
familiar to fans of the Power Rangers! (Goldar arises and is played in suit by
Eric Kurtzke) That’s right, it’s Goldar and he looks more formidable in the
show then here but then…
Rita (Played by Olivia Horvath but dubbed a half second out
of synch by Amy Jo Johnson sounding like Rita from the classic series): MAGIC
WAND MAKE MY GOLDAR GROW! (Goldar grows to his humongous size!)
Power Rangers (In unison): WE NEED DINOZORD POWER NOW! (Cut
to Alpha in the Command Center)
Alpha Five (In Suit by Renee Miller but voiced by Eric
Kurtzke): One set of Zords right away! Oh, while you’re in the area, can you
get some doughnuts?
TLOTA (Voiceover): The Rangers attack Goldar in their Zords
and to be fair the use of The Zords are much better than the ones in the
series. (Cut to images of the original Zords and the Zords in the 2017 movie as
James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover): Because when you look at the original
series the Zords they were very seldom singularly used for an attack, in fact 9
times out of 10 they were just smaller parts of the Megazord! But in the new
movie they DO attack individually and to various degrees. (Cut to James
physically)
TLOTA: But I’m sure you’re wondering how could the Rangers
be so quick to know how to pilot them. The answer is simple. They’re on
instruments! (Cut to a five-way split screen as we see the Rangers doing
Dixieland Jazz music in the cockpits of the Zords before cutting to James as he
hears a Chorus of Boos!)
TLOTA: Come on it was a Hail Mary, I had to try! (Cut to
recreated clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover): But it appears Goldar got the best of the
Rangers and tosses them down a crevice and it looks like Rita has won until…
(The Megazord is played in suit by James Faraci before cutting to The Megazord
cockpit)
Power Rangers (In Unison): MEGAZORD! POWER UP!
Rita (Played by Olivia Horvath but dubbed a half second out
of synch by Amy Jo Johnson sounding like Rita from the classic series): NO WAY
WILL YOU RANGERS DENY MY WIN! (Rita jumps into Goldar)
TLOTA (Voiceover): As the battle rages on I can honestly say
this battle is quite awesome, especially when The Power Rangers in the movie
never did in the series. They flat out END GOLDAR! (Cut to the Cockpit of The
Megazord)
Power Rangers (In Unison): POWER SWORD NOW! (The Megazord
grab the Power Sword before cutting to The Cockpit of The Megazord)
Jason (Played by Nick Yaun): Time to unleash a gold rush!
(The Rangers Kiya and The Megazord slices and destroys Goldar! (The Power Sword
slash Goldar and destroys him then Rita comes out of the Rubble of Goldar
before cutting to Jason and the Rangers in the Cockpit of the Megazord)
Jason (Played by Nick Yaun): It’s all over Rita! Surrender
and face Zordon’s judgement! (Cut to Rita floating in the air)
Rita (Played by Olivia Horvath but dubbed a half second out
of synch by Amy Jo Johnson sounding like Rita from the classic series): NEVER!
TAKE THIS! (Rita tries futilely to attack the Rangers in the Megazord before
cutting to the Cockpit of the Megazord)
Jason (Played by Nick Yaun): Rita, we’re in a Megazord, you
didn’t think this out thoroughly, didn’t you?
(Cut to Rita floating
in the air)
Rita (Played by Olivia Horvath but dubbed a half second out
of synch by Amy Jo Johnson sounding like Rita from the classic series): I….
(The Megazord strikes a Seriously pose? Before cutting back to Rita again)
Rita (Played by Olivia Horvath but dubbed a half second out
of synch by Amy Jo Johnson sounding like Rita from the classic series): GUESS
NOT! OOPS! (The Megazord backhand swats her away as Rita screams)
Rita (Played by Olivia Horvath but dubbed a half second out
of synch by Amy Jo Johnson sounding like Rita from the classic series): I’LL BE
BACK IN THE SEQUELS! YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST OF ME! (Rita continues to scream
as her voice continues to fade away with the last audible words out of her
being “I have a headache!” before a blink of light goes “TING!” before cutting
to the Power Rangers being cheered by a grateful Angel Grove population)
TLOTA (Voiceover): So, Rita is defeated, the Rangers are
hailed as heroes.
Amy Jo Johnson: Me and Jason David Frank have a Cameo for a
hot second!
Jason David Frank: And the movie ends with The Rangers
returning to their ordinary lives as it sets up the actor or maybe actress to
become the next Green Ranger aka my character Tommy Oliver!
(Cut to everyone outside of James’ office)
John & Mike Santos and Renee Miller (In Unison): GENIUS!
Olivia & Eric (In Unison): SACRILAGE! (Everyone starts
arguing and the Purists chanting “RANGER POWER!” before cutting to James as if
he is about to leap out of the office and attack them all)
TLOTA: WHY IN THE NAME OF DANTE’S INFERNO IS EVERYONE GOING
NUTTIER THAN A NUT GOODIE OVER A MOVIE?! (Two voices in the background say,
“We’re the Reason!” James turns around as the camera cuts to Michael Bay played
by Andrew Beach and Zack Snyder played by Paulo Fonseca before cutting to
James)
TLOTA: SNYDER! BAY! HOW DID YOU GET PAST THE DEFENSES! (Cut
Michael Bay & Zack Snyder)
Zack Snyder: That doesn’t matter guy, the reason we’re the
reason is because Dean Israelite and Haim Saban stopped us! (Cut to James)
TLOTA: That is a good thing! I’ve been seeing what the two
of you could do on your own. What with what you’ve done with the Ninja Turtles
and Transformers Bay and then there’s you Zack, I am now forced to watch DC
Movies at home instead of the theaters. I want to enjoy movies not have to hear
everyone boo and tear it apart. (Cut to Snyder and Bay)
Michael Bay: But don’t you know of the Prophecy! We are the
two of the film makers of the Cinematic Apocalypse! (Cut to James)
TLOTA (Sounding incredulous): What? (Cut to Snyder and Bay)
Zack Snyder: For you see it was written in the Scrolls of Shaymalan
that Cinema is an art form that eventually must die and it must be at the hands
of Children’s memories of Movies and They must destroy all that children of the
past enjoyed. By making decisions about characters that destroys everything you
remember from the past and what made you enjoy the stuff you liked as a child!
Michael Bay: And when the dust from the wars from the fans
and movie makers settle, everyone will settle for the bottom of the barrel when
it comes to true cinema and the characters they will be as bland as cardboard
and as lifeless as mannequins!
Zack Snyder: And the masses will enjoy it because they have
no choice. The classics will be sacrificed at the hands of studios to give our
movies high financial returns and… (Cut to James)
TLOTA: I’ve heard enough. Delta Level Defense! (Zack Snyder
and Michael Bay get zapped before cutting to James stopping the argument.)
TLOTA: Listen up, it’s not you or the movie, it’s Hollywood!
It’s trying to strangle the creativity out of movies and our childhood
memories, then leave us with bland and unimpressive work. (A voice says, “James
is right” before cutting to Amy Jo Johnson and Jason David Frank then cutting
to the Religious sect.)
Father Bulkmeier (Played by Nick Yaun): It is they! Amy Jo
Johnson and Jason David Frank!
Rabbi Skullovitch (Played by Paulo Fonseca): THE HOLY
COUPLE! (Cut to Amy Jo Johnson and David Frank)
Jason David Frank: This new movie is not the source of evil
as everyone on line is making out to be.
Amy Jo Johnson: It is what movies need to be right now.
Jason David Frank: With all the big budget Marvel movies now
following the “Captain America: Civil War” movie criminalizing being a hero and
DC Movies being a gigantic clusterbank of dark and wrong ideas. What is so
wrong about trying to find the middle ground? That is where Power Rangers is.
TLOTA: Love for the fandoms or eternal war. The choice is
yours. (Cut to everyone as they look at one another before they get back to
arguing before cutting to James, Amy & Jason heading to James’ office.)
TLOTA: I Really don’t know how much it’ll take before everyone
getting back to normal without me unleashing hell on everyone.
Jason David Frank: James, Stand before me. (James turns
around to be face to face with Jason David Frank) A true Power Rangers Fan
stays true to the Franchise through its ups and downs. The fact you have sat
through nearly 900 episodes prove you are loyalty to this franchise and the
fact you are honest makes you true to yourself and the Power Rangers.
Amy Jo Johnson: And truth be told NO Power Rangers Fan likes
Operation Overdrive.
Jason David Frank: James, you don’t need to go too far. You can
take care of it with the power inside and not have to go to a place where you think
you annihilate everyone.
TLOTA: You’re right Jason. But I’m not going to need that
power. I need someone, a more powerful Power Rangers fan who can handle the
mess and I know who that is. (Cut to everyone arguing as James opens the door.)
TLOTA: Okay everyone, LISTEN UP! YOU GUYS WANT TO TAKE ON
THE STORM? Well then here comes the F-5 Fury! I SUMMON THE LOVHAUG! (A Bolt of
lightning come through the building as a person in full Green Ranger gear
including the helmet appears stopping the arguing then The Green Ranger removes
his helmet to reveal Linkara.)
Father Bulkmeier: It is he! The Sainted Historian!
Rabbi Skullovitch: In our tongue, he is named “Linkara”!
(Cut to Linkara as he begins to nitpick all the things he has found wrong in
Power Rangers and the audio reverberates causing the lights to blow and as
Linkara continues The Social Justice Champions, The Religious Sect, The
Purists, Michael Bay and Zack Snyder all start to feel differently as they see
all the energy exuding from Linkara as The Religious Sect, The Purists, Michael
Bay, Zack Snyder and The Social Justice Champions begin to feel their molecular
structure disintegrate under the pressure before Linkara unleashes his full
fury as James barricades himself in the office with Amy Jo Johnson and Jason
David Frank. Olivia, Renee, Eric, John & Mike are rendered unconscious
before Linkara shouts “AND WHY IN THE HELL DID IT TAKE BLACK CANARY SIX MONTHS
TO REACH GOTHAM IF SHE WAS INSTANTLY INSPIRED BY BATMAN!?!” before cutting to The
Religious Sect, Social Justice Champions, Purists, Michael Bay & Zack
Snyder as they scream and explode! Cut to a few minutes later as James, Jason
& Amy step out to see everyone who survived.)
Eric Kurtzke: Whoa! Everyone okay?
Olivia Horvath: I feel more level headed!
John Santos: It’s almost like every negative influence has
dissipated!
Mike Santos: It feels like I can see better than I did
before.
Renee Miller: It could be because Linkara used some sort of
energy that came from him to destroy all that negativity! Seriously! Look
around! (Olivia, Eric, John, Mike & Renee look around to see the carnage
before cutting to Linkara, James, Amy & Jason)
TLOTA: Now that everyone has calmed down, I can now honestly
say what I think of the movie. I thought the movie was…. good. Not bad, not
awful, not the worst movie I’ve ever seen, not the best movie I’ve ever seen,
not great just good. (Cut to Olivia, Eric, John, Mike & Renee)
Eric Kurtzke: But that doesn’t fit either side.
John Santos: Well that’s neither here nor there since
Linkara wiped all of them out. (Cut to Linkara, James, Amy & Jason)
TLOTA: I get what Eric is saying John and you know what, I
can do that because I consider myself a HUMAN BEING BY HAVING MY OWN THOUGHTS!
(Cut to stills of the new Power Rangers movie, the classic Mighty Morphin Power
Rangers & the J.J. Abrams reboot of Star Trek as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover): Believe it or not, I had been thinking of
this reboot since I saw the start of the Kelvin time lined Star Trek movie in
2009, it was when Disney had given up on Power Rangers. I wanted it to have the
feel and style of it and yet not be a complete carbon copy of other Childhood
rebooted movies. Did I get that? Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t fail in
certain areas. Some of the computer designed characters like Goldar didn’t
exactly make me say “OH MY GOD GOLDAR IS A THREAT!” but that is a minor detail. Where it
succeeded was when they were doing something unique and different. I liked how
much they acted like real teenagers with real attitude and that is where the
actors from this movie pay homage to the classic characters but the difference
is in the attitude. In the 1990’s the attitude was different from the ones in
the new movie. The ones from the classic series had an attitude but a bit less
jaded, in the new movie you can tell the attitude was a bit more jaded but they
had to connect to the classic fans and newer ones. Did they do that? Not well
enough to my liking but the fact they connected the way that they did make a
connection kind of works in the movie’s favor. Do I suggest you see it in the
theaters? HELL YES. Do I think you should purchase it on Blu-Ray, DVD &
Digital HD Download? That I’ll leave to your discretion. Check the movie out
and if you enjoy it, good for you. If not, I won’t hold it against you. (Cut to
Olivia, Renee, John, Mike & Eric)
Olivia Horvath: Well since you put it that way I kind of
admit the new movie isn’t as socially bad as everyone makes it out to be.
John Santos: The action wasn’t as bad ass as it should have
been but it wasn’t at the levels of something those trapped on the Satellite of
Love would mock for jollies.
Renee Miller: But can we all agree on the fact that Krispy
Kreme Doughnuts are awesome! (Everyone walks away in agreement before cutting
to James, Linkara, Amy Jo Johnson & Jason David Frank)
TLOTA: I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans alongside
Linkara, Amy Jo Johnson and Jason David Frank here to let you know that as long
you have the Power, be sure to use it wisely and it will protect us all!
Jason David Frank: And know this, when everything is against
you don’t fear up!
TLOTA, Linkara, Amy Jo Johnson & Jason David Frank:
POWER UP!
(James, Linkara, Amy Jo Johnson & Jason David Frank do a
heroic pose before cutting to hours later as James cleans up the mess with
Linkara)
TLOTA: Thanks for helping clean up the mess!
Linkara: Well, I made it, might as well take responsibility
for it. (Skype rings are heard as James looks at Linkara)
Linkara: GO! I’ll handle this!
TLOTA: Thanks! (James rushes over to his office)
TLOTA: You got James, what’s up? (Cut to Paulo Fonseca, Nick
Yaun, Rebecca Yaun & Brenda Fonseca, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion in
Texas at Rowdy’s house)
Paulo: Hey there James! (Cut to James)
TLOTA: Hey Guys, you gonna be back soon! (Cut to Paulo
Fonseca, Nick Yaun, Rebecca Yaun & Brenda Fonseca, Andrew Beach & Ed
Champion in Texas at Rowdy’s house)
Brenda Fonseca: We’ll be back at the end of the week. Oh by
the way The Cats found a device outside of Rowdy’s house. ORAC scanned and
noticed it was not made on Earth. Though after ORAC scanned and tried to figure
out where it came from Cecil placed it back under lock & key in a safe.
Cecil (Offscreen): We can’t let it fall into the wrong
hands! Besides we know what we’re doing! (Cut to James)
TLOTA: Including to see if it was shut off. (Cut to Paulo
Fonseca, Nick Yaun, Rebecca Yaun & Brenda Fonseca, Andrew Beach & Ed
Champion in Texas at Rowdy’s house)
Perkins (Offscreen): D’OH!
Nick Yaun: I’ll fix it! (Cut to James)
TLOTA: Now you said the device wasn’t made on Earth. Brenda, was the technology based
on Earth technology? (Cut to Paulo Fonseca, Nick Yaun, Rebecca Yaun &
Brenda Fonseca, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion in Texas at Rowdy’s house.)
Brenda Fonseca: Yeah as if it was salvaged from a Satellite
escape pod. Why did you ask if you knew it was Earth based Technology? (Cut to
James)
TLOTA: I didn’t. ORAC had left me a note before he left with
you guys down to Texas. According to the last report from the Satellite there
were rumblings down in Deck 14. Just couldn’t
confirm it until now. Stupidiot must have found the escape pod in the box of
Hamdingers. (Cut to Paulo Fonseca, Nick Yaun, Rebecca Yaun & Brenda Fonseca,
Andrew Beach & Ed Champion in Texas at Rowdy’s house)
Cecil (Offscreen): According to Stupidiot, he didn’t make
the device. (Cut to James)
TLOTA: Wait, you’ve been in contact with him? (Cut to Paulo
Fonseca, Nick Yaun, Rebecca Yaun & Brenda Fonseca, Andrew Beach & Ed
Champion in Texas at Rowdy’s house)
Cecil (Offscreen): Who the hell did you think we called in
to help us when we were attacked after The Top 10 Dumbest Power Rangers moments
list, Malicia? (Cut to James)
TLOTA: Good point, but do me a favor keep him on a short
leash! Anything else? (Cut to Paulo Fonseca, Nick Yaun, Rebecca Yaun &
Brenda Fonseca, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion in Texas at Rowdy’s house)
Rebecca Yaun: Well, we’ve set up the device you made using
the DNA extrapolated from Rowdy’s Sonic Screwdriver and the isomorphic lock you
installed to keep it from falling into the wrong hands. So that the next time
Rowdy disappears they can find him quicker. (Cut to James)
TLOTA: Good work, get back here soon. (Cut to Paulo Fonseca,
Nick Yaun, Rebecca Yaun & Brenda Fonseca, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion in
Texas at Rowdy’s house)
Paulo Fonseca: We know what’s coming next month, We’re not
excited. (Cut to James)
TLOTA: Neither am I, but it’s a job and we’ve got to do what
we got to do! See you guys soon! (Cut to Paulo Fonseca, Nick Yaun, Rebecca Yaun
& Brenda Fonseca, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion in Texas at Rowdy’s house)
Paulo, Nick, Brenda & Rebecca (In Unison): Later James!
(Cut to James stepping away to help finish the clean-up)
TLOTA: Thanks again for helping with the clean up!
Linkara: No problem, man! Say why did Alan outsource the
Comicron-One Crash to you?
TLOTA: I have ORAC, he sent me the footage of everything. I
noticed the person who activated that faulty Cybermat.
Linkara: If you’re going to say 90’s Kid I already know. The
backstabber, why didn’t he tell me he was in league with Vyce?
TLOTA: Well I have a theory. After he got the message back
to you after that trip to 2099 he found something disconcerting and well in a
moment of cowardice, he turned to someone who he thought could help. Why not
you I have no clue. All I know is that when 90’s Kid committed what he did, he
forfeited all rights that most criminals should have when they are
incarcerated.
Linkara: If he comes your way, let me know. I know ORAC took
out the wiretaps.
TLOTA: Yeah even I think you may be going too far. But if he
tries to find sanctuary, I’ll show none to him.
Linkara: Good. Nimue, teleport me to the Vigilant! (Linkara
teleports away, James puts away the cleaning equipment as the same teleport
sound is heard.)
TLOTA (Audio only): Forget something Li… (Cut to James
coming face to face with 90’s Kid and James pulls out his Sonic Screwdriver)
DELTA LEVEL DEFENSE! (90’s Kid is left incapacitated before cutting a few hours
later as 90’s Kid is tied down, a little bloodied up and beaten down.)
TLOTA: Don’t try teleporting out like last time, I took out
your teleportation tag! Now, I want to know something, WHY DID YOU BETRAY
LINKARA?!
90’s Kid: You don’t see it do you dude? All you’re seeing is
a fellow internet reviewer, I saw something you couldn’t comprehend. (James
picks up 90’s Kid’s head and punches it hard straight into the forehead)
TLOTA: TELL ME ANOTHER LIE AND I’LL STOVE YOUR TRAITOROUS
HEAD IN! WHY DID YOU BETRAY LINKARA?!
90’s Kid: I had no other choice besides have you looked at
yourself lately? You’re becoming no different than him! (James picks up 90’s
Kid’s head and slams it up against the wall!)
TLOTA: Okay, you’re not gonna tell me the truth about your
betrayal, fine. Let’s move on to something you do know. Where is Vyce and why
did you sabotage Comicron-One?
90’s Kid: This violates the Geneva Convention!
TLOTA: The Geneva Convention isn’t gonna save you this time.
(James starts up a generator as readies a tub of water and places 90’s Kid’s
feet in the tub and plugs in a battery charger.) Last chance, the truth or you
suffer what I call the “Tickle Me Elmo punishment”.
90’s Kid: “Tickle Me Elmo punishment”?
TLOTA: Well, it’s something I wanted to see happen to a
Tickle Me Elmo back when it was oversaturating the market and buying it became
impossible. My brother came up with this one. Buy it, hook it up to a car
battery via Jumper Cables, turn the car on and watch Elmo do the Shake Dance!
Except this time, YOU are Tickle Me Elmo!
90’s Kid: Not Radical!
TLOTA: Last chance, Tell the truth or find yourself in a
Shocking situation! (A Hand grabs James, turns him around and punches him in
the forehead knocking James down. With his last moments of consciousness James
launches something onto 90’s Kid before he and the figure teleports away.)
