(Scene begins with a smartwatch screen and a finger as it taps the screen and the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand as it taps an app on his phone as it opens a portal.)
(It cuts to James and the characters he’s played until it cut to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans'” current iteration then slides away to different images of , Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun and the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces. The credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca and Nick Yaun” are shown then slides away to different images of Doug Yaun, Nick Lopez and Jessica Lopez-Barkl and Crosslyn Castillo and the characters they’ve played, until it cuts to their faces.)
(After that, the credits “Doug Yaun, Nick Lopez, Jessica Lopez-Barkl and Crosslyn Castillo” are shown, as it then slides away to different images of Andrew Beach Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath. Following this, the credits of “Andrew Beach, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” are shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays.)
(Everything becomes a swirl of reds, whites, and blues, as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions in association with Manic-Expression.com"; “Executive Producers: James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Olivia Horvath”; “Editing by Eric Kurtzke and James Faraci”; “Written and “Directed by James Faraci” are shown, as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays.)
(We then see an image of James as he jumps through the portal and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a black background. Finally, the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays.)
(The scene changes to James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, in his office.)
TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, The views I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. And it is time once again for "Reality Checkout. (Cut to James as he walks around and comes to the TV in the lobby, as he turns it on and sees more Reality TV on every network than he can deal with. )
(James decides to look through his library for anything else and sees a portion of it, filled with so much reality TV that would make a Network Executive who enjoys Reality TV Splooge. He tosses all of the Reality TV Series on DVD and the TV into the most disgusting trash can. James tosses in large amounts of Flammable liquids and throws a bomb, which explodes, releasing the slime and remnants of the DVDs and TV, spelling out "Reality Checkout" as the theme from "Welcome Freshmen" plays in the foreground. Cut to James in his office.)
TLOTA:
Let me say this right now, I tried in good faith to try and contact the people involved in the show. No, I do not know of them personally, even though they are not far away from where I live, I’ve never met them. I talked about them in my “MySpace” days. But apparently, someone thought that what they did together, then separately, but the damage remains to what they’ve done. (Cut to the intro of “American Chopper” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
“American Chopper” was about the family business of building custom-made motorcycles or “Choppers” and the chaos that came from the family tension between the father of Paul Teutul Sr and his son Paul Jr. The Teutuls on paper should still be considered Hudson Valley Hometown Heroes, but when you take into consideration the disagreements that they all had with one another, and the fact that Paul Sr’s face shouting is a meme, means that there is some material for “Reality Checkout.” (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
So why did I try to contact them? To interview them to see where their relationship is now. Because if they’re still at each other’s throats. If that is the case, maybe I am lucky that I didn’t interview them. Why? (Cut to “American Chopper” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Because the reaction from people who have seen the show has in their minds that is how EVERY SINGLE FAMILY in Sullivan County and Orange County, NY, is like. While yes, the Teutuls are an American Success story, the success is tainted by the long-standing feud between Paul Sr. and Paul Jr., and their feud was filmed and presented for all to see on... You guessed it, Reality TV, when the show should’ve been about the family getting hired by both national and local companies for a custom-made motorcycle for promotional purposes. But that is overshadowed by, Again, the feud between father and son. And let me say the following: One: While some families act that way, not everyone in the Sullivan County/Hudson Valley area. (Cut to James Faraci The Last Of The Americans as he morphs back to James.)
James Faraci:
And speaking as James Faraci, I can say that I loved my father, and even though we didn’t always get along, we cared, and I tried to handle everything better than The Teutuls. (James morphs back to James Faraci The Last Of The Americans.)
TLOTA:
Back to work as Number Two... (Cut to “American Chopper” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
The Teutuls COULD have done a better job at representing the Sullivan County/Hudson Valley area as good people who would be a fair representation of the Sullivan County, Orange County, and Hudson Valley area. But again, their personal drama ruined it. I don’t blame them personally, but this tells me that as long as the drama lasted, the series would show us just how people outside of New York State would see us. (Cut to people hooting like owls at Marge Simpson in one of the half billion episodes of “The Simpsons.” Cut to “American Chopper” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
But the worst is that instead of The channels under the Discovery banner decided to not only allow the series to continue until even local businesses and national ones were tired of the Chopper fad and they eventually let the show end and also the fact that everyone grew tired of the drama. After the show ended, attempts have been made to mend fences, personally. Professionally, they’ve settled their legal cases but at the end of the day, it’s clear that the drama ruined any chances of a professional mending of the fences where if Paul Jr’s company feels that they can’t do the job for the budget the client had in mind that they can refer to Paul Sr’s company, which is a shame because it could be something that could help the mending of personal and professional fences. What a shame that the Teutuls have brought to Sullivan County, Orange County, Hudson Valley, and all of Upstate New York. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
But the fact that the family has not and most likely will not try to make a comeback in Reality TV may just be the blessing for the shame they’ve put on us. So if there is anything they’ve done that can count in the end is that they checked out of Reality TV! (Cut to Team TLOTA as they get on motorcycles and ride off with their tires having the words “Checked Out!” as it cuts to James physically)
TLOTA:
Next month, another American Icon and I will connect plots. I’m James Faraci The Last of The Americans, and that’s my opinion.
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