(Scene begins as a hand as it taps the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand as it taps an app on his phone as it opens a portal, and it cuts to different images of James as the characters he’s played until it cut to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans'” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca & Rebecca and Nick Yaun” is shown as it then slides away to different images of John Ross and Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, and Ed Champion as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “John Ross Santos, Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion” is shown as it then slides away to different images of Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath and the credits of “Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” is shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites and Blues as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions. Edited by Eric Kurtzke and Paulo Fonseca. Written and Directed by James Faraci” as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an outlined image of James as he morphs into “The Last Of The Americans” and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left on a white background and the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays. Cut to James in his office)
TLOTA: I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and The Views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours, and welcome once again to "In Defense Of...(Show pics of maligned pieces of pop culture while the fanfare from the Olympics plays and James comes up after Vanilla Ice slides back and his right-hand thumbs up and the words "In Defense Of..." before cutting to clips of "Judge Dredd" 1995 as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.): In 1995, the Sylvester Stallone movie "Judge Dredd" came out in the same summer as other great Superhero movies like "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie," "Batman Forever," and blockbusters like "Apollo 13." While it did mildly well at the box office, it did about as well as something around that time. By today's standards, it is so filled with ham that a Rabbi wouldn't call it Pareve. But it is also considered a cult classic, along with other movies of Stallone's that came out then. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: But today, we will discuss the 2012 movie that tried to reboot the Judge Dredd movies simply titled "Dredd." What's that you say? You never heard of the 2012 "Dredd" movie? Well, let's see what came out around that same time. (Cut to the posters of "Marvel's The Avengers" & "The Dark Knight Rises." Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: Well, talk about deja vu luck!
(Cut to clips of "The Avengers," "The Dark Knight Rises," and "Dredd" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.): Yeah, in the same year that Marvel had one of its greatest movies released and the same year we put a bullet in the Christopher Nolan Batman "Dark Knight" trilogy, "Dredd" quietly came and left, not even making its budget back, however as the years have gone on, this movie went on to gain a cult status of its own. Much like the 1995 Sylvester Stallone version of "Judge Dredd." (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: So why did it fail? (Cut to clips of "Dredd" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.): Was it the plot or the cast? Well, the plot involves Judge Dredd played by Karl Urbam having to work with and give a final evaluation to a rookie judge, played by Olivia Thirlby, and have to deal with the drug lord known as Madeline "Ma-Ma," Madrigal played by Lena Headey, as she pumps her drug known as "Slo-Mo" into the citizens of the Mega-City One and its slums known as Peach Trees with the Judges being stuck in a bigger plot and in lockdown. So, of course, it sounds like a great plot for a movie about Judge Dredd. Especially since the character is from a comic book. The cast did a great job. Lena played "Ma-Ma" just like the great white shark going after everything in sight to get things her way, and Karl Urban killed it as Judge Dredd. Olivia Thirlby was great as the rookie Judge Anderson. Was it the marketing? The movie's marketing was average for a movie of this caliber, but Karl Urban considers this one of the biggest marketing failures of all time. The critical response was positive. But why did the movie not do as well as it should've? (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: It's happening right now and, with more intensity, Superhero burnout. It has happened before, and we're seeing it in the most intense right now. (Cut to the current Superhero movies as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.): We're watching fans of the MCU start to feel it, as the mainstream audience seems to be not into what they're selling. I felt that way when I watched "Captain America: Civil War." The best thing I did before getting into "Avengers: Infinity War" and then "Avengers: Endgame" was to give myself a break from Marvel. And in that break, I watched "Dredd" for the first time and enjoyed it. I also watched the 2017 "Power Rangers" movie, the "Wonder Woman" movie, the 2016 "Ghostbusters" movie and other genres. So I was revived and ready for both "Infinity War" and "Endgame." (Cut to clips of "Dredd" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.): "Dredd" is a great movie and a surprise for anyone who wants to watch a comic book movie that feels like the source material and doesn't feel like a comic book movie in the traditional sense. It's more like one of those indie movies that would benefit from a sequel to gain a better audience. Even now, fans, including myself, are hoping for a sequel, and Karl Urban is ready to go whenever everyone else is on board; I will be ready to see him be The Law. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and that's my opinion. (Cut to Holographic James as it sees the final time saved lock finally be unlocked)
TLOTA: Excellent! Now to...What the? (Show the screen as Holographic James sees another month of prerecorded reviews as Holographic James screams "No!" in anger while smiling. Cut to Doug and Hiram Stupidiot.)
Professor Stupidiot: Whew, That was close. Anything yet?
Doug Yaun: I'm about to call someone, and I hope he's there. (A thud is heard) Crap! Hope he's on here now and can get us out of danger. (Another thud is heard as it cuts to Rowdy distributing the weapons)
Rowdy: So, now everyone is sufficiently armed, we need Comicron-One to teleport us to... (Rowdy's Ringtone plays) One second, I'm sorry about this. (Rowdy answers his phone.) Yello!
Professor Stupidiot (Audio Only): ROWDY!
Rowdy: Stupidiot? What are you doing on this phone? And just for the record, you'll be the first to be...
Professor Stupidiot (Audio Only): I AM THE INSIDE GUY JAMES HIRED!
Rowdy: WHAT?!
Professor Stupidiot (Audio Only): HIS HYPNOTIZED TEAM IS ABOUT TO BREAK THROUGH THE FINAL SAFETY BARIER AND KICK OUR ASSES! GET HERE NOW!
Rowdy: We're on our way! (Rowdy shuts off the phone) Okay, Linkara, teleport us to Sullivan County New York. Linkara, You got the Magic Gun? (Cut to Linkara and ERod The Blockbuster Buster)
Linkara: Check!
ERod The Blockbuster Buster: And I got the hammer ready to go if I need it. (Cut to Rowdy)
Rowdy: Next stop, Sullivan County, NY! The next fight is most likely our last. (Cut to the real James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, as he lands only to have his boots burned up as James takes them off.)
TLOTA: My boots! They lasted so long. (James looks to see that he has landed outside a shoe store, then breaks the fourth wall) What an unbelievable coincidence. (James walks in his socks and walks out with a new pair of Black Tactical Work Boots.) That's better. Now, let's see what has happened. (James looks at the phone to see what his holographic doppelganger has been up to.) DAMN IT CHAD! How could he make my schedule without my consent? He's gone too far, I'm kicking his ass. Wait a second, I just jumped from the island to... (James looks and sees he's a few towns away from his studio.) WOW, I am really close to the studio. (James sees lightning in his eyes) Okay, I've got Sith lightning power. Something is not pareve right now. (A message ding is heard as James checks his phone as a video opens and it's Alex in the hut.)
Julia Alexa Miller: James, if you're watching this, then I've made my choice, and I am returning to the pod, but as I stayed before we reunited, I was contacted by Emmalina's spirit, I needed to lose most of the powers I had, and I wanted to transfer it to someone worthy. I chose you, so don't waste it on busting bad movies. Use them for good. I love you, but I can't let these powers go to waste if this is our end. I'm keeping the scream and a few others. The rest I'm passing to you. A last gift from me to you. Goodbye, I love you James. (The video shuts off as James sadly smiles but realizes he has work to do and runs as it fades to black.)
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