(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words "The Last Of The Americans" on it before cutting to James physically)
TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and the views I'm about to express are that of my own & some of yours and welcome to another edition of Reality Checkout! (Cut to Video Purchasing Store checkout counter in which John Santos is a brainless idiot purchasing Reality T.V. series while James is the clerk who looks at the guy as if he were an idiot and slowly gets angry and does him a favor by buying him a copy of all the seasons of the restarted "Doctor Who" series as he takes the Reality T.V. series and places them in Port-a-Potty along with a lit stick of Dynamite and then James runs like hell as an image of Kim Kardashian is seen covered in fecal matter and the only clean part is the words "Reality Checkout" while the theme from "Welcome Freshmen" plays in the background before cutting to the MTV Launch video from 1981 and Music Videos as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
In 1981 MTV was launched and became synonymous with one idea redefining what music would be like forever and while they did try some original programming like game shows and dance series like "Club MTV" and different shows centered around different genres of music like " Headbangers Ball", "120 Minutes" & "Yo MTV Raps!". However, by 1991 the network was starting to change and promote a different series, which was based on a documentary series that was loosely inspired by "An American Family," a series that saw the destruction of The Loud Family and no, I do not mean that series on "Nickelodeon." (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And the series was meant to show the youth of the generation, or how TV Producers think what the youth of the generation was and the series had the following opening phrase that changed the course of MTV forever! "This is the true story...of seven strangers...picked to live and work together...and have their lives taped...to find out what happens...when people stop being polite...and start getting real...THE REAL WORLD" (Cut to the opening of every season so far of The Real World then to clips of the "The Real World" series as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
When it debuted The Real World ultimately changed the fate of MTV forever. The Real World was about finding seven young people to basically live together for several weeks in a flat in New York City and what they'd be like just trying to exist and having to deal with people and situations outside of their control. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Under different circumstances, had things been written out with a plot and storyline, that would've made an excellent idea for a sitcom! Except the producers DID have written ideas that the cast was against. Cut to clips of "The Real World" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
That's right, the production company that eventually gave us the satanic evil of The Kardashians and their reign of reality tv, Bunim and Murray Productions, had planned storylines for the series, including one of the castmates to "come out of the closet" as it were. That castmate quietly and quietly did that before joining the series. Then there was the point where there were arguments over the most ridiculous things. By today's Reality T.V. low as hell standards are rather childish. Now there are those that have said "Oh it broke ground because it talked about this subject or for talking about certain taboos in a realistic light." Well, let me tell you something, while yes it did handle subjects, I think of episodes of "Law & Order" that handled the situations better than "The Real World". "Well, it had someone both openly out of the closet and had AIDS and that person really died." While yes, I was aware of Pedro Zamora and the circumstances he had during the San Francisco season, and I was saddened when he passed away hours after the final episode of his season ended, I cannot, in all honesty, believe in that level of timing unless Pedro was in worse shape than he let on in the San Francisco season. "It set the template for other reality shows!" AND THAT'S A GOOD THING?! It's like being the first person who said that 2+2 equalling "IFLYDACHOOCHOO!" was right and all of a sudden it became the norm while the real answer was carelessly discarded without facts or scientific proof to back it up. Not something to truly be proud of! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And the sad thing is, it's legacy and what it did to not only MTV but also to Television itself. (Cut to different reality shows as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
It begat other Reality Shows on MTV like "The Challenge" & "Road Rules", "Ridiculousness" and two series about Teen Pregnancy. Then there was the series that begat shows like "The Anna Nicole Show" & most of the series that is on TLC, A&E, Discovery and The History Channel, Series like "The Osbournes", "Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica" and series that became popular because the shows were on MTV, A network that was meant to help older musical bands reach new audiences and discover newer musical artists and give them a chance to shine. Now MTV is mediocre television with reality shows left and right. It is a shame, it could've been avoided if MTV didn't milk the series for what it's worth and then decide that is what they need to be relevant. The sad thing is, even with a pandemic, with the world now teetering towards destruction, even after leaving MTV for Facebook's Video Services only to now be a part of Paramount+, the series is going on as we speak! This series also had its knock-off with "The Surreal Life" which had a group of what many would consider Z-Level Celebrities living in a house and having the cameras in their face all the time. And of course, the show also made celebrities just from being there, aside from Pedro Zamora, Judd Winick went on to marry his former co-star and work in the Comic Book industry, Rachel Campos-Duffy is in news, not saying which network because let's face it, the news is all the same right now, unwatchable and Oh yeah, her husband is former representative and Real World Co-Star Sean Duffy, Then, of course, there is Mike "The Miz" Mizanin whom I've talked about in the past, Tami Roman, who was the target of what was meant to be a harmless prank that led to a meltdown that only Reality TV would produce, ultimately had a resume in acting and Reality-TV that would put most to shame, Trishelle Cannatella who also went on to do more Reality TV, some I've already talked about and a myriad of others who have gone on to a level of success in entertainment and other ventures. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And that is the story of a series that has become the all-father of all reality series and how people choose to sacrifice their souls, to stop being humans and start being real enough for fifteen nanoseconds of fame. But as far as I'm concerned, it is time for The Real World to be evicted, and take every single series that has spawned from its loins and checkout! (A knock on the door is heard as James looks up and sees "The Real World" logo as it grows arms, throws its keys at James, and leaves with expletive beeps coming out of whatever counts for its mouth and walks out the main door in disgust, slamming it shut. Cut to a very confused James)
TLOTA:
Well, it can't get weirder than that ladies and gentlemen. I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and (A knock on the door is heard) One moment. (James walks away as we hear James say "He did what?", "Someone actually won it?", "Now they're coming here for a crossover and it's their choice?!". Cut to the outside of the studio as James' shout of "CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" echoes throughout Sullivan County, eventually throughout the United States, The World from inside the planet and then a shot of the earth from outer space!)
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