(Scene begins with James pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 then cut to James jumping down a cliff from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci landing in Santa's sleigh and fully morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans Christmas mode with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with Christmas Trees on it, Blue cargo Jeans, and Black Workboots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James and Santa riding with the 12th Doctor and Clara at the 0:13 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:14-0:17 show Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun as the two run after the Grinch before cutting to John and Mike Santos baking cookies before cutting to the 0:17-0:19 mark as it shows Paulo & Brenda Fonseca popping in A Muppets Christmas Special on a player before cutting to the 0:20-0:28 mark as we see Eric Kurtzke, Ed Champion, Andrew Beach and Olivia Horvath decorating as it cuts to the doors outside of James' space and time machine as the 0:28 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James stands on top of his Time and Space device and tosses a candy cane then cuts over to multiple clips from the past six years of “The Last Of The Americans” Christmas reviews/top 12s as the Candy Cane flips end over end as the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground. Cut to James in his home.)
TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, still at home, but thanks to a certain Government Official, I will be forced to reopen the Studio or face financial ruin. But hopefully, I can give you a reason to celebrate the Holidays this year, and once again, I am stepping out of the reviewer's stance and give you a guide for gifts for this year. It's "The Last Of The Americans Holiday Gift Guide."
(Cut to James and Team TLOTA in their Pajamas as they come rushing to the Christmas Tree and see different items they wanted and cleaning up as the camera turns to see in the Wrapping Paper shrapnel "The Last Of The Americans Holiday Gift Guide" slide wipe to James in his house as he walks to his Kitchen.)
TLOTA:
Now like last year, these gifts will try to be under $100.00 but a couple of them will be a little over, and given who got elected a lot of that money will become more scarce as the next four years go on but regardless, I will be starting this guide in my partly refinished Kitchen. So we start off with, some kitchen gear that really deserves some attention, First off this fine device the SimpleTaste Spiral Slicer. It is awesome, I use it for a Pasta substitute with Zucchinis, Broccoli Stems, basically anything really hearty and can be cut into spirals or strands, especially if you like curly fries and this baby does an amazing job at it. And I like using two different types of cooking pans to cook them. These are the De Buyer Carbon Steel cookware set. What I like particularly is how well they hold the heat, they're made with the same materials as a cast iron pan but whereas cast iron is melted and cased in a sand-based mold into the pan, Carbon Steel is forged into the shape of the pan with the handle riveted onto the pan and Speaking of Cast Iron, I like using it as well especially the Lodge 10.25" Cast Iron Pan, why is that because they heat well in an oven. Put it in an oven at 350 degrees and these pans get nice and hot. Perfectly at the temperature, you put it in and these work great on cooking steaks perfectly to a medium-rare at the same time it takes to call for taking out. Speaking of steak, a Cinematic idol of mine John Wayne ate Steak, Every Single Day! But as much as I loved John's Cinematic work, apparently, the John Wayne Enterprise has made some great cookbooks that would satisfy the Duke which I have checked out we have The Official John Wayne Way To Barbecue cookbook, The Official John Wayne Way to Grill: Great Stories & Manly Meals Shared By Duke's Family cookbook, The John Wayne Cast Iron Official Cookbook, The Official John Wayne 5-Ingredient Homestyle Cookbook and finally The Official John Wayne Family Cookbook: Recipes and Recollections from Duke's Kitchen to Yours cookbook. These have very interesting recipes and stories from John Wayne's surviving children and his grandchildren and great-grandchildren about The Duke himself and Speaking of John Wayne, I definitely recommend getting some of his movies for the holidays. (Cut to clips of John Wayne movies as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (V.O.):
And some of the first movies I ever saw were of John Wayne's on local syndication and it's because of John I wanted to get into movies. Some of my personal favorites are "The Sons Of Katie Elder", "El Dorado" "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance", "Hondo", "The Searchers", "The Quiet Man", "Red River", "Rio Lobo", "Rio Bravo", "Rio Grande", the Original and in my opinion the best version of "True Grit" where he stars as the U.S. Marshall Reuben J "Rooster" Cogburn, with Glen Campbell as "LeBeouf" and Kim Darby as "Mattie Ross", "The Comancheros", "The Alamo", "Big Jake" and of course in my September review of "The Shootist" John's final film he shone like a star but would you believe he put out a spoken word album? That's right, The Duke himself released America, Why I Love Her. It is a great spoken word album to keep you going in times of sadness during these tough times. I strongly suggest you get these this Holiday season. (Cut to James physically in his living room)
TLOTA:
We're now in my common living room where my surviving family celebrates our holidays. Right here was an HP Chromebook that my dad used before...August, but I'll talk about it on the 21st. But I digress, I have used it in conjunction with my usual laptop to do my workload and while this does break the Hundred Dollar budget, it does work well what I do recommend something that works great with it. I give you "Google Duo". Much like Skype, Discord, and Zoom, it's great for communicating with family and friends. Let me show you one with a member of my team. (Show the screen as James tries to connect to a member as the screen shows Eric Kurtzke)
TLOTA (Voice Only):
Hey there Eric, how have you been?
Eric Kurtzke:
Doing good, How about you?
TLOTA (Voice Only):
Hanging in there. Can't you tell by the burn marks on my neck? (Eric and James laugh) So Eric, did you test out that device I sent you?
Eric Kurtzke:
You bet James, Thanks to this Pandemic, A miracle would be needed to make sure your hair looks as good as it should and while going through all of the hassle of getting out and all of that, I highly recommend this Remington Hair and Beard trimmer, this works amazingly well to keep you looking good and of course, you can change your style to fit the season. If you want to save some money in the long run and wait out the pandemic in style then this sucker is for you.
TLOTA (Voice Only):
Thanks, Eric, happy holidays!
Eric Kurtzke:
Merry Christmas and see you in January whether or not the world is ready. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Honestly, it'd take more than a few weeks at the time of this post, before the world is ready to return to normal before this pandemic. But if you have to go out and you need a mask and you're tired of the disposable ones that last more than five minutes, and you can use them all year long. Then I suggest this Bandana/Face mask Combo. What I like most is about them is the fact that they're lightweight, they're reusable, washable, and best of all, they work great when it comes to guys with glasses like myself. (James puts on the Bandana/ Face Mask Combo) The link will show the different designs, my favorite involves Camo because as much as I am an Internet Reviewer, I'm an outdoorsman and I like Camo but there other designs that I enjoy like the American Flag Designs. Also, it comes off as easily as it does come on (James takes his Bandana/ Face Mask Combo) Speaking of coming on and off easily, I actually find these holiday 3M Command Hooks, and Hangers great for hanging stockings and what have you not and the best part, no damage as the decorations come off! And speaking of stuff coming off, this year whether or not it was because of the Quarantine or the Holidays, we all make the same New Year's Resolution to lose weight! This is where the next two gifts come from first off, we have the Sunny Health & Fitness EZ Stride Motorized Auto Assisted Under Desk Elliptical Peddler Exerciser. This elliptical fits incredibly under a table but I do suggest using it out in the open. When I and my family got it last year it was about eighty bucks before taxes. It really does a great job of getting the blood flowing. Also what helps me is, believe it or not, Yoga! (Cut to James in workout gear as he's in mid-DDP Yoga workout.) But not your momma's Yoga I do DDPYoga! Now I have the app on my tablet and about eight, nine dollars a month it's great if the nearest gym is either five towns over, too expensive, or thanks to this year going to be out of business, I have a CooSpo Heart Rate Monitor and I use it per their schedule and not only am I regaining some flexibility and strength that I had when I was younger plus it helps me feel better after a grueling day and if I'm up early enough I get it in early and I love how this gets me started and it keeps me going throughout the day. When I come back from commercial break, we're gonna get some more gifts that will probably help you survive 2021!
(James goes into the seated position and stretches out and shouts "BANG!" as it fades to black. Cut to the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground. Return to the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground. Fade to James as he paces around in his room talking on his Personal cell phone)
TLOTA:
Well, I don't know where she is either! You know just because she likes me as much as she does you Chad does NOT give you the right to talk to me in that manner! (Ten seconds of silence) You're damned straight I sound more confident, a little verbal back and forth between myself and John Wayne can make a man more confident, especially when he helped me with a good verbal back and forth and a backhand to wake my brain cells! (Ten seconds of silence) Well watch his work, he may do you a world of good! (Paces and sees that the "Work" Sign is flashing) GAH! I'm BACK! Talk to you later, Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate Chad! (James shuts off his personal cell phone.) Well as you can tell I have a personal cell phone, it's what my dad would've called a dumb phone, it only makes Phone Calls, it doesn't do anything but makes phone calls. I like the simplicity of this LG Cell phone, but for those who are wondering who my cell carrier is well, it's TracFone, I use their year refill cards for me to get the minutes I use without paying for extra things. There is an amazing value in such a product and its carrier and before I get nasty comments, they do have Smartphones, but I prefer the simpler phones. That's just me! Now onto some unique gaming consoles, this one I like the Super NES Classic it's a bit of a bank buster coming in with shipping and handling and who you purchase it from and if you grew up in the 1990s like I did I actually enjoyed playing the life out of this system and to show how bad I have gotten, I am going to try and play a round of "Starfox" and see how far I go! (Cut to James as he plays on the controller in the bottom right corner and the game footage taking the rest of the screen, Cut to James as he reacts. Cut to the video game footage as James gets annihilated.) One of the best things is the reset function, you can hide the failures. Plus there are two games that actually were planned for a North American release that got it through this little device. "Earthbound" & "Starfox 2". Speaking of things that got released in North America, let's check out some foreign films that will get people into the Christmas Spirit. (Cut to clips of certain foreign Christmas Films like "Joyeux Noel", "My Favorite Season" & "Tokyo Godfathers" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
These movies may not be your usual cup of Egg Nog but trust me if you have seen them they will help you feel that Christmas-y spirit even if you haven't felt it this year or if you think that something like "Joyeux Noel" can somehow reignite a spark of humanity that this year has seemingly seemed to have quashed then these movies might just do you a world of Christmas good. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
While Traveling this year was nearly impossible, fortunately, things may change in the upcoming year and I actually recommend some sites to help if and when we can travel again. Now, these are just a few sites I have seen that do well for my associates. We have travelocity.com, tripadvisor.com, and expedia.com just to name a few and of course, you're going to need some certain places to stay and thankfully some sites can help in saving you some cash when you go to your favorite hotel and it is there that I have to stop this gift guide except for the top five movies I think should be on everyone's wish list. (Cut to certain movies as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover)
5) "Batman: Death In The Family" While technically a DC Short Animated movie, the reason it's at the bottom of the list is that the best part is also it's the weakest point about the thing, no matter what happens Jason Todd turns into a blood-hungry sociopath, while some parts show the what if he lives is in two different versions. The novelty of choosing the tale loses its luster after a few viewings. But if you check it out for the extra DC Short Animated movies that they put into the Blu-Ray, I can say you should get it just for the extras because the novelty does wear out after a while.
4) "Disney's Onward", One of the last cinematic releases from Disney & Pixar, I like the story of the movie that even if magic isn't seen or used in our daily lives, it's there. Also, the tale of these two brothers coming together on an adventure to make peace with their father who passed away is something I could relate to. The characters have a great development, the story is well-paced and I could sit back and not get bored with the music what can I say, get this on Blu-Ray & Digital or check it out on Disney+
3) Superman: Man Of Tomorrow", The reason this one is in the middle of the list isn't because of the less than stellar re-imagining of the Superman Origin Story or the less than phenomenal animation, it's because quite honestly there is some good talent bringing life to these characters. Darren Criss does a phenomenal job as Clark Kent, as a rookie Superman eh not so much. Plus, Ryan Hurst as Lobo didn't do anything for me, Alexandria Daddario was good as Lois Lane and the rest of the cast do a decent job at the characters they perform. But since I am a Superman fanatic and I liked it for what it's worth and the fact the extra is one of my favorite two-part episodes of Superman The Animated Series "The Main Man" I wholly would get it just for the extra.
2) "SONIC The Hedgehog", While not Jim Carrey at his best, it does a really great job that it made me forget how much negative hype there was for the fact that Sonic looked like how he was supposed to look and the fact that he's working alongside James Marsden wasn't much for me to want to see it. Thankfully I did see it and I can honestly recommend you put this one under the Christmas tree.
And at Number one
1) "Bill & Ted Face The Music", I'll get more into it in the new year but needless to say a lot of what made the first two movies as awesome and if this is the final chapter of the franchise, I'm glad to say it ended everything on the right note, Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter still have that great chemistry and I like how the movie ends and again, I will be talking about it during my January-March Season Premiere. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Now before I do my end of December/end of the year countdown, I wanted to give you a present, someone who is up and coming thanks to her Reaction/Reviews on YouTube. Ashleigh Burton AKA Awkward Ashleigh The host of Millennial Movie Monday. (Cut to clips of Millennial Movie Monday as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
What I like about her videos so far is that she has been consistent, even though at the time of this post, she has only been doing it for months and yet she carries herself with such natural charisma and a likable personality and her facial expressions say so much because it is the first time Ashleigh sees these movies and you are reminded of when you first saw this movie. While Ashleigh and her cat Beans haven't seen that many movies, her reactions reminded me of the first time I saw some of the movies she has reacted and reviewed, for some it's my first time seeing them and some I check out afterward and to my surprise, I like some a little more than others, to me "Monty Python and The Holy Grail" was hilarious, but I guess watching re-runs of Monty Python's Flying Circus on Comedy Central when it was on in the 1990's probably helped me understand the humor of it. However she apparently didn't like "E.T.: The Extraterrestrial" and believe it or not during October she decided to check out some Scary movies while she wasn't a fan of the Alfred Hitchcock directed "Psycho" I can understand it's not everyone's cup of tea and I understand however I shared the "Pants To Be Darkened" fear she had with both "The Exorcist" & "Stanley Kubrick's The Shining" and on October 31st, she checked out the Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy starred, Kenny Ortega Directed Halloween Cult Classic and killed it with her singing of "I'll Put A Spell On You!" she was that damned good! If you haven't checked her out yet, look for her in the link above and give her a watch. Currently, she's in the middle of "Merry Beans-mas" and I hope she finds this and I want her to know that she has a lot of potentials to be something amazing on the Internet and I hope Ashleigh continues to grow and be amazing. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And incidentally, Ashleigh, if you do check this out consider what I am about to say as a Christmas Present from one Internet personality to another, I was a representative of Manic-Expression.com would be glad to extend an invitation to become a contributor to the site. I think "Millennial Movie Mondays" would be an amazing addition to the site and you'll get to meet some great personalities and the review shows they do like RowdyC and his series TV Trash, Jamietud and his series "From Pages To Pictures", James Daniel Walsh and his series "James Talks DVDs" and so many others, go to the link and myself and others will help you grow because unlike a Meshuginah Schmuck from Chicago, we welcome all our talent to grow and something tells me you'd fit us (Overemphazing): EeeLike A Gloooveh! (Sounding normally): Don't know why I sounded like Jim Carrey there. Maybe you'll check out "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" around Super Bowl time. As for me, Top 10 Best moments of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans from this year and I am done with the year and I will see everyone in 2021! Until then I am James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and You know the rest. (James walks away and the scene fades to black, cuts to hours later as James looks at the Christmas decorations around his house as sad, somber Holiday music plays in the foreground. James continues to look at photos of his family and the family he lost over the past few years and the family he still has and cries to himself. James then decides to shut down the decorations and lie down on the couch in hopes to wake up in 2021 and as James just starts to sleep the scene fades to black. Cut to what is apparently days later as James wakes up in his bed in a new shirt and carpenter pants and his boots.)
TLOTA:
What the...? (James looks at his Morpher and sees a card in his Morpher. James reads"Just figured you could use a new look. My Christmas Gift to You James. Your love, Alex" and looks up as "The Finale (Part II)" from the "Batman Returns" soundtrack plays James looks out of the window to see a figure in the snow. James grabs a Winter Jacket as James runs out the door and tries to reach the figure but arrives just as the figure disappears. Cut to James looks to the left and down the road where he's standing the right and up the road where he's standing then upwards. Cut to James as he stands there in silence with his head held low as the snow starts to come down and the camera pulls back and pans up to the sky to see The American Flag in a signal light and a figure looks at the signal, the scene fades to black with the words "To HOPEFULLY Be Continued in "The Last Of The Americans: The Movie" in 2021...VERY Hopefully!" Scene fades to black)
No comments:
Post a Comment