(Opening begins at the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators
original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top
of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James in his office)
TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. Well after three months of sitting through American Pie, I can say honestly, it'll be a cold day in HELL before I touch another Gross Out movie. But after watching all of them, I think I have a good reason why this sort of comedy has in some regards a level of legitimacy in comedy! (Cut to clips of gross out comedies as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Now I'm not going to say that I'm an expert on the subject on comedy, if anything a lot of things that has happened to me recently has made an expert in some moments that were meant to happen years down the line. But after three months of sitting through and wading through such viscera and filth and slime I actually discovered something interesting. A formulae as it were. Something that makes gross out humor work. It's not perfect but in some weird way works. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Let's start off with the people involved there are the older generation, the younger generation, the high brow and the common or what many in Hollywood would consider low brow.
TLOTA (Voiceover):
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. Well after three months of sitting through American Pie, I can say honestly, it'll be a cold day in HELL before I touch another Gross Out movie. But after watching all of them, I think I have a good reason why this sort of comedy has in some regards a level of legitimacy in comedy! (Cut to clips of gross out comedies as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Now I'm not going to say that I'm an expert on the subject on comedy, if anything a lot of things that has happened to me recently has made an expert in some moments that were meant to happen years down the line. But after three months of sitting through and wading through such viscera and filth and slime I actually discovered something interesting. A formulae as it were. Something that makes gross out humor work. It's not perfect but in some weird way works. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Let's start off with the people involved there are the older generation, the younger generation, the high brow and the common or what many in Hollywood would consider low brow.
(Cut to clips of gross out comedies as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
In some cases it's a case of an older generation finding the younger generations' wacky antics highly unorthodox and must be shut down or that the Younger generation have to have an awesome adventure that will most likely end with them trying to have sex or something bigger. Then comes the fact that there are parents who try to understand the youth and come off looking and sounding dumber than the kids. Then we have the rivals of our heroes those who believe themselves superior in some capacity that offsets our heroic young generation and are so entitled that they believe they should have everything and when they get the comeuppance they rightfully deserve. When it comes to the differences in the classes it is usually the blue collar against the white collar. The White Collar or what is known as the Hoi Polloi or The Hoidy Toidy are those that look at everyone else as if they're beneath them and when they get a sense of comeuppance from the Blue Collar community AKA the middle class AAKA Guys like me and Rowdy who apparently according to the White Collars are the bottom of the barrel and deserves the worst. But through wacky shenanigans the White Collars get what they should get and The Blue Collars are shown in such movies like "Caddyshack", "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective", "There's Something About Mary" and "Animal House", "Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life" and many others. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And one of the few of these Gross out movies that work is surprisingly "Dumb & Dumber" (Cut to clips of "Dumb & Dumber" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
And I think it's because it balances out the dumb grossout humor with the intelligent humor and it doesn't hurt that when the intelligent side tries to overdo it, leave it the dumber grossout stuff to balance it out. Plus the Chemistry of the actors and the story and the timing and everything that shouldn't have worked made it work. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
TLOTA:
And one of the few of these Gross out movies that work is surprisingly "Dumb & Dumber" (Cut to clips of "Dumb & Dumber" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
And I think it's because it balances out the dumb grossout humor with the intelligent humor and it doesn't hurt that when the intelligent side tries to overdo it, leave it the dumber grossout stuff to balance it out. Plus the Chemistry of the actors and the story and the timing and everything that shouldn't have worked made it work. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And sadly for every 10 "Dumb & Dumber"s we have to deal with at least 100 gross out parodies done by Seltzer and Friedberg. (Cut to Gross out Seltzer and Friedberg comedies as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
And for the record, they're god awful, not humorous movies that just try for the lowest common denominator and can't reach it. They have no real story and the acting that registers as barely decent and the humor is just hairs above what can be found in "Freddie Got Fingered" but that's not saying much about the Schlock and crap that gets made. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
But then again that is just my taste and of course Comedy like art is subjective to taste and to some people A Seltzer and Friedberg movie is a comedic masterpiece and find "Who's On First?" so hard to comprehend. But there those who look down at something like "Dude Where's My Car" and has a collection of "Cheech and Chong" (Cut to gross out comedies as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
And that's because again comes down to taste. Just because someone made a tale of epic entertainment doesn't mean it's to my liking and I'm not going to tell you not to enjoy something if you want to enjoy it. But as long as we have individual points of views and tastes I can understand certain things even what makes gross out humor works and why we all need a laugh and I think of one comment when it comes to comedy especially gross-out comedies (Cut to The Duckman rant on comedy and how it should be. Cut back to James physically.)
TLOTA:
TLOTA:
But then again that is just my taste and of course Comedy like art is subjective to taste and to some people A Seltzer and Friedberg movie is a comedic masterpiece and find "Who's On First?" so hard to comprehend. But there those who look down at something like "Dude Where's My Car" and has a collection of "Cheech and Chong" (Cut to gross out comedies as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
And that's because again comes down to taste. Just because someone made a tale of epic entertainment doesn't mean it's to my liking and I'm not going to tell you not to enjoy something if you want to enjoy it. But as long as we have individual points of views and tastes I can understand certain things even what makes gross out humor works and why we all need a laugh and I think of one comment when it comes to comedy especially gross-out comedies (Cut to The Duckman rant on comedy and how it should be. Cut back to James physically.)
TLOTA:
Well put Duckman. I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That's my opinion! (James walks out to see DukeCT on the horseshoe couch) Hey DukeCT! How have you been man?
DukeCT:
Doing good my man, (The Two hug it out) Hey James I got something to ask you.
Doing good my man, (The Two hug it out) Hey James I got something to ask you.
TLOTA:
Ask away Hombre.
Ask away Hombre.
DukeCT:
How'd you like to do a crossover?
How'd you like to do a crossover?
TLOTA:
Whatever you want to review, we'll do it!
DukeCT:
The 2019 Kim Possible DCOM.
TLOTA:
Except that! (The two sit down on the couch)
Except that! (The two sit down on the couch)
DukeCT:
Why not?
Why not?
TLOTA:
Back when I did my review on "The Even Stevens Movie" Christy was slightly peeved.
DukeCT:
Define "Slightly Peeved"
Define "Slightly Peeved"
TLOTA:
She was willing to pay a hitman to have me killed!
She was willing to pay a hitman to have me killed!
DukeCT:
DAMN!
DAMN!
TLOTA :
Thankfully her now husband Brendan decided to play peacemaker. ( The sound of Two people walking behind James and DukeCT are heard as James continues to talk)We signed a truce, I never review her movies and I leave her be, She lets me review anything else and I get to live to be an even older man than I am now, get married to my in care home nurse after the best years my life have been sucked out of me. (The two figures stand behind James and DukeCT)
Thankfully her now husband Brendan decided to play peacemaker. ( The sound of Two people walking behind James and DukeCT are heard as James continues to talk)We signed a truce, I never review her movies and I leave her be, She lets me review anything else and I get to live to be an even older man than I am now, get married to my in care home nurse after the best years my life have been sucked out of me. (The two figures stand behind James and DukeCT)
DukeCT:
Well what if I decided to call them up back February 29th so that way I could do a crossover with you in April and they were fine as long as it was a crossover.
Well what if I decided to call them up back February 29th so that way I could do a crossover with you in April and they were fine as long as it was a crossover.
TLOTA:
You could get A Decree of Veracity from Gabriel and I'm still not going to do it.
You could get A Decree of Veracity from Gabriel and I'm still not going to do it.
Christy Romano (Audio only):
Well I appreciate your loyalty to your word, we did talk it out with DukeCT
Brendan Rooney (Audio only):
And we're fine with it James, go for it!
And we're fine with it James, go for it!
TLOTA:
Every ounce of my being does not want to turn around because if I do, I will not handle it well so I suggest we head out through the secondary exit, down the steps and through the parking lot and we'll do something else.
Every ounce of my being does not want to turn around because if I do, I will not handle it well so I suggest we head out through the secondary exit, down the steps and through the parking lot and we'll do something else.
DukeCT:
For the love of WrestleMania! (DukeCT picks James up and turns him towards the figures and James cries "NO!" as his Jaw drops and he slowly backs up with DukeCT The Kill Bill Ironside song is heard the camera turns to Christy Romano and Brendan Rooney as they smile. Cut to James as he looks up and DukeCT smiles and wave at Christy Romano and Brendan Rooney)
For the love of WrestleMania! (DukeCT picks James up and turns him towards the figures and James cries "NO!" as his Jaw drops and he slowly backs up with DukeCT The Kill Bill Ironside song is heard the camera turns to Christy Romano and Brendan Rooney as they smile. Cut to James as he looks up and DukeCT smiles and wave at Christy Romano and Brendan Rooney)
TLOTA:
You are a woman who hates me aren't ya! (Slam to black)
You are a woman who hates me aren't ya! (Slam to black)