(Scene begins with an
overhead shot of the Catskills and the “Xena” theme song plays in the
foreground before cutting to a clip of the n.W.o 2002 WWE run as an announcer
played by DukeCT says “In a time of returning ancient tribes.”, Brock Lesnar
brutalizing everyone as an announcer played by DukeCT says “Monsters” and
Triple H holding both the World Heavyweight and WWE Championship as an
announcer played by DukeCT says “And men who would be kings!” and the WWE brand
splitting for the first time as an announcer played by DukeCT says “A company
divided cries out for a hero” as more matches play scenes of two different men
getting prepared one with a pair of Jean Shorts the other a pair of contractor
jeans. The First man preparing a colored shirt, the other putting on an
American Flag shirt before cutting to the first man entering a ring who just so
happens to be John Cena before cutting to an image of John Cena as he holds a
championship and the words “Cena: Warrior Actor” an announcer played by DukeCT
says, “He was Cena!” before cutting to a clip of John Cena running at full
steam as an announcer played by DukeCT says “A mighty warrior forged in the
challenge of competition!” before seeing John hit an AA on Edge and The Big
Show before cutting to James Faraci as it cuts to James Faraci getting to his
seat as the credit reads “Starring James Faraci The Last Of The Americans”
before cutting to a clip of John Cena hits Edge with an AA at Unforgiven as an
announcer played by DukeCT says “The intensity” before cutting to an image of
Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun & Nick Yaun, John & Mike
Santos, Ed Champion & Andrew Beach, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath and Renee
Miller as they see their names before cutting to James on the horseshoe couch
as he plays a movie before cutting to John Cena’s Acting Repertoire as an
announcer played by DukeCT says “The Actor” as more clips of John Cena’s Acting
Repertoire before cutting to John Cena as he takes a butt bong of beer before
cutting to James gets ready for another review as an announcer played by DukeCT
says “His Reviews will change the internet forever!” before cutting to a
blurred black and white image of John Cena holding the WWE Championship and the
words “The Last Of The Americans” shimmer in before fading to Julia Alexa
Miller in her apartment as she watches the news from James’ neck of the woods
and how the protests have ground Sullivan County NY to a halt and how The
Governor will allow the protests to continue before Julia Alexa Miller continues
to watch the TV while listening to someone on the phone.)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Yeah James, you’re right it’s not getting better for you and I think I saw Fleur, Ric and Audi in the protest. Excuse me for a moment… (Julia Alexa Miller puts James on hold before Julia Alexa Miller disappears before hearing a voice shouting from the TV shakes the apartment and the crowd is knocked out before Julia Alexa Miller returns) Sorry about… Oh, you saw. Well of course you can do the review here, Yep, your landing spot is ready, so how long before you get here? (The sound of James’ time and space device is heard as Julia Alexa Miller turns around to get to the landing spot as James’ Time and Space Device exactly on the spot)
Yeah James, you’re right it’s not getting better for you and I think I saw Fleur, Ric and Audi in the protest. Excuse me for a moment… (Julia Alexa Miller puts James on hold before Julia Alexa Miller disappears before hearing a voice shouting from the TV shakes the apartment and the crowd is knocked out before Julia Alexa Miller returns) Sorry about… Oh, you saw. Well of course you can do the review here, Yep, your landing spot is ready, so how long before you get here? (The sound of James’ time and space device is heard as Julia Alexa Miller turns around to get to the landing spot as James’ Time and Space Device exactly on the spot)
TLOTA:
Will right now work? (Julia Alexa Miller kisses James on the mouth)
Will right now work? (Julia Alexa Miller kisses James on the mouth)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Absolutely. (Cut to James and Julia Alexa Miller on a couch as the two relax)
Absolutely. (Cut to James and Julia Alexa Miller on a couch as the two relax)
TLOTA:
Thanks. I would’ve gone to my family, but they’d give me Tsouris and you deserve a medal for lasting a day with them.
Thanks. I would’ve gone to my family, but they’d give me Tsouris and you deserve a medal for lasting a day with them.
Julia Alexa Miller:
James, your family is not that bad. (James gives Julia the “seriously” look) James, your parents and your siblings were joking on paying me off to end the relationship.
James, your family is not that bad. (James gives Julia the “seriously” look) James, your parents and your siblings were joking on paying me off to end the relationship.
TLOTA:
You’re right besides my nieces were the nicest. I guess it doesn’t hurt that the twins are a few years older than you and they like you and little Vivian just blows my mind with everything that comes out of her mouth and usually their judgement I know are the best and I trust them the most. Probably a lot more than how their parents are doing it and how parents in teen comedies now a days. (Cut to the trailer title card of “Blockers” then cut to clips of the movie as James does a voiceover and 1:38-2:23 from “I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)” by Meatloaf plays in the foreground of the clips)
You’re right besides my nieces were the nicest. I guess it doesn’t hurt that the twins are a few years older than you and they like you and little Vivian just blows my mind with everything that comes out of her mouth and usually their judgement I know are the best and I trust them the most. Probably a lot more than how their parents are doing it and how parents in teen comedies now a days. (Cut to the trailer title card of “Blockers” then cut to clips of the movie as James does a voiceover and 1:38-2:23 from “I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)” by Meatloaf plays in the foreground of the clips)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
“Blockers” had an interesting concept idea “What would happen if the kids from “American Pie” went on to have kids that wound up in the same situations exactly like their parents?” (Cut to James and Julia on the couch)
“Blockers” had an interesting concept idea “What would happen if the kids from “American Pie” went on to have kids that wound up in the same situations exactly like their parents?” (Cut to James and Julia on the couch)
TLOTA:
Spoilers: They tried it! (James points to his left with his right hand as the poster of “American Reunion” is seen on James’ left side) And it didn’t work then
Spoilers: They tried it! (James points to his left with his right hand as the poster of “American Reunion” is seen on James’ left side) And it didn’t work then
Julia Alexa Miller:
How are you able to do that? You know what never mind, I’ve got a lot to do and it’s gonna be stressful enough for me with you here and I need to clean this place up and… (James kisses Alex) Okay, that means I’ll do what I have to do and you’ll clean up and review “Blockers” (Cut to clips of “Blockers” as James does a voiceover and 1:38-2:23 from “I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)” by Meatloaf plays in the foreground of the clips.)
How are you able to do that? You know what never mind, I’ve got a lot to do and it’s gonna be stressful enough for me with you here and I need to clean this place up and… (James kisses Alex) Okay, that means I’ll do what I have to do and you’ll clean up and review “Blockers” (Cut to clips of “Blockers” as James does a voiceover and 1:38-2:23 from “I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)” by Meatloaf plays in the foreground of the clips.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Will this movie make me pine for the days in which Jim and the “American Pie” gang or will this even gross them out of ever doing another physical comedy movie ever again. (Cut to James in the Cleaning Supply Closet as he pulls out a vacuum)
Will this movie make me pine for the days in which Jim and the “American Pie” gang or will this even gross them out of ever doing another physical comedy movie ever again. (Cut to James in the Cleaning Supply Closet as he pulls out a vacuum)
TLOTA:
Let’s not waste any second, this is “Blockers” (A variety of mops and brooms land on James before cutting to the movie as James does a voiceover)
Let’s not waste any second, this is “Blockers” (A variety of mops and brooms land on James before cutting to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
The movie begins we’re introduced to Julie, Kayla and Sam at their first day in school as their parents drop them off. The played by Leslie Mann, Ike Barenholtz and John Cena (The footage shakes as it cuts to an explosion as James grabs a fire extinguisher and puts out the fire as Julia Alexa Miller walks in to see the damage)
The movie begins we’re introduced to Julie, Kayla and Sam at their first day in school as their parents drop them off. The played by Leslie Mann, Ike Barenholtz and John Cena (The footage shakes as it cuts to an explosion as James grabs a fire extinguisher and puts out the fire as Julia Alexa Miller walks in to see the damage)
Julia Alexa Miller:
What in the hell happened?
What in the hell happened?
TLOTA:
The plausibility of the movie exploded within the first minute and a half!
The plausibility of the movie exploded within the first minute and a half!
Julia Alexa Miller:
How? Just play the clip
How? Just play the clip
TLOTA:
Okay (Cut to clip from “Total DIvas” of John Cena saying why he never wants kids before cutting back to the movie as James does a voiceover)
Okay (Cut to clip from “Total DIvas” of John Cena saying why he never wants kids before cutting back to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
The three parents and kids quickly bond as we then jump to the parents and the kids to their senior prom as Julie and her mom talk about what it’ll be for the two of them when the daughter goes off to college as we see John Cena eat his daughter’s underwear. (Cut to James as he shuts off the Vacuum.)
The three parents and kids quickly bond as we then jump to the parents and the kids to their senior prom as Julie and her mom talk about what it’ll be for the two of them when the daughter goes off to college as we see John Cena eat his daughter’s underwear. (Cut to James as he shuts off the Vacuum.)
TLOTA:
Okay Universal movie, you do realize the Dark Universe collapsed under its own stupidity, if this is somehow is connected to it, I DON’T WANNA KNOW! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
Okay Universal movie, you do realize the Dark Universe collapsed under its own stupidity, if this is somehow is connected to it, I DON’T WANNA KNOW! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
After an offensively bad remark on how he thinks he’s a bad parent and his wife thinks he’s being overprotective though granted I’d be in the same boat if I had a daughter. Kayla hits John with sports knowledge on what to do on the field and that calms Cena down for a bit as Julie comes to rather a typical conclusion that this prom night, she’s gonna do the nasty thing with her boyfriend and tells her two friends. (Cut to James as he puts up a mop)
After an offensively bad remark on how he thinks he’s a bad parent and his wife thinks he’s being overprotective though granted I’d be in the same boat if I had a daughter. Kayla hits John with sports knowledge on what to do on the field and that calms Cena down for a bit as Julie comes to rather a typical conclusion that this prom night, she’s gonna do the nasty thing with her boyfriend and tells her two friends. (Cut to James as he puts up a mop)
TLOTA:
Oh wait, my weapons are back in New York so they’re not on Standby. (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
Oh wait, my weapons are back in New York so they’re not on Standby. (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
After hearing that her two friends decide to jump off the same cliff with her tonight, though hopefully with their own perspectives. Meanwhile Julie gets an acceptance letter from UCLA, Sam’s mom and stepfather are excited for their daughter on her prom night and worried about her friendship with Julie and Kayla. Speaking of Kayla well her parents are handling the fact she’s going to Prom well enough for a sports enthusiast. Meanwhile a messenger conversation that Julie is having with Austin winds up on a laptop! This is supposed to be a plot point! (Show clip of Kayla talking about how Coconut Oil is good for sex as it cuts to James falling off a ladder and the duster hitting James on the head)
After hearing that her two friends decide to jump off the same cliff with her tonight, though hopefully with their own perspectives. Meanwhile Julie gets an acceptance letter from UCLA, Sam’s mom and stepfather are excited for their daughter on her prom night and worried about her friendship with Julie and Kayla. Speaking of Kayla well her parents are handling the fact she’s going to Prom well enough for a sports enthusiast. Meanwhile a messenger conversation that Julie is having with Austin winds up on a laptop! This is supposed to be a plot point! (Show clip of Kayla talking about how Coconut Oil is good for sex as it cuts to James falling off a ladder and the duster hitting James on the head)
TLOTA:
Okay if my nieces ever talked about that and I was within earshot, trust me they’d be hearing from me for a Looooooong time after hearing that! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
Okay if my nieces ever talked about that and I was within earshot, trust me they’d be hearing from me for a Looooooong time after hearing that! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Meanwhile Ike Barenholtz comes in with a limo for her daughter and her friends though Cena and Leslie Mann rip Ike a new one politely for being an absentee parent. Just as Cena sees his daughter’s Man bun wearing date. Trust me when I say, I know what’s going on in his head. A couple of slugs, a shovel and a piece of property that no one is interested in until the body has decayed to the point Forensic science will remain baffled and I can get away with it. Meanwhile Julie’s mom discovers her daughter’s laptop and the messenger conversation which gets the attention of not only Julie’s mom but Cena and Ike as well and Cena is well so blissfully ignorant that he well… (Show clip of John Cena as he thinks that it’s more innocent than it is before cutting to James as he puts away a step ladder)
Meanwhile Ike Barenholtz comes in with a limo for her daughter and her friends though Cena and Leslie Mann rip Ike a new one politely for being an absentee parent. Just as Cena sees his daughter’s Man bun wearing date. Trust me when I say, I know what’s going on in his head. A couple of slugs, a shovel and a piece of property that no one is interested in until the body has decayed to the point Forensic science will remain baffled and I can get away with it. Meanwhile Julie’s mom discovers her daughter’s laptop and the messenger conversation which gets the attention of not only Julie’s mom but Cena and Ike as well and Cena is well so blissfully ignorant that he well… (Show clip of John Cena as he thinks that it’s more innocent than it is before cutting to James as he puts away a step ladder)
TLOTA:
SIE SIND AUS DUMMKOPF GERMACHT! (Julia Alexa Miller walks in as she closes the door)
SIE SIND AUS DUMMKOPF GERMACHT! (Julia Alexa Miller walks in as she closes the door)
Julia Alexa Miller:
I see those German lessons have been paying off.
I see those German lessons have been paying off.
TLOTA:
I’ve been hearing it from my dad for a long time!
I’ve been hearing it from my dad for a long time!
Julia Alexa Miller:
Well speaking of parents, mine will be here soon as well as the rest of my family. So, take a break, clean up because you smell like god knows what, then finish the review.
Well speaking of parents, mine will be here soon as well as the rest of my family. So, take a break, clean up because you smell like god knows what, then finish the review.
TLOTA:
Uh Quick question your family, do they know about…?
Uh Quick question your family, do they know about…?
Julia Alexa Miller:
They know it all.
They know it all.
(James walks away chuckling
and saying to himself “I’m a dead man!” over and over again as Julia Alexa
Miller tries to comfort James as the scene fades to black before cutting to the
0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators
original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top
of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before fading to
black then cut back to the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season
of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and
everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it
before cutting to “Blockers” as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Knowing that their daughters are out to do the deed, our three parents have a breakdown then decide to team up in hopes of stopping them from becoming Prom Night Mommas! (Cut to clip of Cena and Mann as they overpower Ike and the three hit the road and Ike admits to the others his daughter is gay and Julie’s dad was an asshole before cutting to a freshly washed and cleaned James in a tee shirt and a towel)
Knowing that their daughters are out to do the deed, our three parents have a breakdown then decide to team up in hopes of stopping them from becoming Prom Night Mommas! (Cut to clip of Cena and Mann as they overpower Ike and the three hit the road and Ike admits to the others his daughter is gay and Julie’s dad was an asshole before cutting to a freshly washed and cleaned James in a tee shirt and a towel)
TLOTA:
Ike, I hope in real life that you haven’t and will NEVER reproduce because I will feel so sorry for how messed up their lives are gonna be. (Julia Alexa Miller says that James’ clothes are on her bed and James walks out before cutting to the movie as James does a voiceover)
Ike, I hope in real life that you haven’t and will NEVER reproduce because I will feel so sorry for how messed up their lives are gonna be. (Julia Alexa Miller says that James’ clothes are on her bed and James walks out before cutting to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Meanwhile Sam, Kayla and Julie seem to enjoy the Prom as Kayla bluntly tells her date he plans on doing the deed in the most unsubtle of ways, Sam meets a girl and Julie gets to enjoy the prom. Just as the parents make their way to the prom our three teens bolt out of Prom and Cena goes on the hunt. After Ike sees his daughter kiss a guy Ike goes into hunting parent mode as well. Their first stop after the prom is to go to the house of Austin’s parents by Gary Cole and Gina Gershon who tells them about Kyler Montero’s Lake House. Before they get there, we get a chewing out by Cena’s wife. (The footage shakes as it cuts to an explosion as James grabs a fire extinguisher and puts out the fire as Julia Alexa Miller walks in to see the damage)
Meanwhile Sam, Kayla and Julie seem to enjoy the Prom as Kayla bluntly tells her date he plans on doing the deed in the most unsubtle of ways, Sam meets a girl and Julie gets to enjoy the prom. Just as the parents make their way to the prom our three teens bolt out of Prom and Cena goes on the hunt. After Ike sees his daughter kiss a guy Ike goes into hunting parent mode as well. Their first stop after the prom is to go to the house of Austin’s parents by Gary Cole and Gina Gershon who tells them about Kyler Montero’s Lake House. Before they get there, we get a chewing out by Cena’s wife. (The footage shakes as it cuts to an explosion as James grabs a fire extinguisher and puts out the fire as Julia Alexa Miller walks in to see the damage)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Again?!
Again?!
TLOTA:
I’ll clean up the mess. (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
I’ll clean up the mess. (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
After a bait and switch the three parents get Kyler Montero’s address just as the three get to a party where a special Macaroon is served and Kayla indulges …(Cut to Kayla’s High Face as her eyes bug out as it cuts to James getting scared and hiding behind the couch and Julia Alexa Miller picks it up with ease)
After a bait and switch the three parents get Kyler Montero’s address just as the three get to a party where a special Macaroon is served and Kayla indulges …(Cut to Kayla’s High Face as her eyes bug out as it cuts to James getting scared and hiding behind the couch and Julia Alexa Miller picks it up with ease)
Julia Alexa Miller:
What’s wrong?!
What’s wrong?!
TLOTA (whispering):
The Face! The Face of nightmares! (Julia looks at Kayla’s High face)
The Face! The Face of nightmares! (Julia looks at Kayla’s High face)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Doesn’t look that scary!
Doesn’t look that scary!
TLOTA:
Just wait until I put the audio in and sync it up with Kayla's mouth, you’ll be behind this couch with me! (Cut to Kayla’s high face as her mouth animatedly moves and the audio of Judge Doom talking about how he killed Eddie Valliant’s Brother comes out of her mouth before cutting to James and Julia looking scared trying to peer out to look before cutting back to the movie as James does a voiceover)
Just wait until I put the audio in and sync it up with Kayla's mouth, you’ll be behind this couch with me! (Cut to Kayla’s high face as her mouth animatedly moves and the audio of Judge Doom talking about how he killed Eddie Valliant’s Brother comes out of her mouth before cutting to James and Julia looking scared trying to peer out to look before cutting back to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
After that bit of nightmare rocket fuel, our three parents make it to Kyler’s in hopes of doing what needs to be done just as the moment in which Julie tries to recreate the American Beauty Sex Scene, thanks for the image of… You know what, I’m going to show some Decorum and not finish the obvious Kevin Spacey Joke because it’s not worth it. But apparently the three parents are there discover Connor bakes drugs into all his food and its butt beer chugging time! (Cut to John Cena’s reaction as he butt chugs and his daughter thinks she’s hallucinating before cutting to James and Julia as they have a disturbed look)
After that bit of nightmare rocket fuel, our three parents make it to Kyler’s in hopes of doing what needs to be done just as the moment in which Julie tries to recreate the American Beauty Sex Scene, thanks for the image of… You know what, I’m going to show some Decorum and not finish the obvious Kevin Spacey Joke because it’s not worth it. But apparently the three parents are there discover Connor bakes drugs into all his food and its butt beer chugging time! (Cut to John Cena’s reaction as he butt chugs and his daughter thinks she’s hallucinating before cutting to James and Julia as they have a disturbed look)
TLOTA:
YOU GAVE ME “WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?” VIETNAM FLASHBACK! YOUR DAD IS BUTT CHUGGING BEER AND YOU THINK YOU’RE TRIPPING?! YOU NEED HELP! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
YOU GAVE ME “WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?” VIETNAM FLASHBACK! YOUR DAD IS BUTT CHUGGING BEER AND YOU THINK YOU’RE TRIPPING?! YOU NEED HELP! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
After the cops come, Ike takes Cena’s Butt Beer to the face and our three wannabe teen moms get the hell out of there and Cena becomes funnier as this thing goes on, that’s a miracle! (Show clip of Cena being funny before cutting back to the movie) The three decide to hit the speed to stop the Limo which everyone in there is tossing their cookies and our parents wind up… well upended and stuck in the ditch. Meanwhile our three discover that their parents are PISSED as hell. Julie takes the initiative to nip their parents in the bud. (Cut to the conversation as Julie tells her mom off.) After that Julie’s mom tells the two other parents she might die alone. (Cut to James physically)
After the cops come, Ike takes Cena’s Butt Beer to the face and our three wannabe teen moms get the hell out of there and Cena becomes funnier as this thing goes on, that’s a miracle! (Show clip of Cena being funny before cutting back to the movie) The three decide to hit the speed to stop the Limo which everyone in there is tossing their cookies and our parents wind up… well upended and stuck in the ditch. Meanwhile our three discover that their parents are PISSED as hell. Julie takes the initiative to nip their parents in the bud. (Cut to the conversation as Julie tells her mom off.) After that Julie’s mom tells the two other parents she might die alone. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
You will not die alone, but (James points to his right with his left hand and it shows a picture of John Cena) he will! Especially after how his last relationship ended. (Cut to the movie as Ike tells the two how messed up his life is as James does a voiceover)
You will not die alone, but (James points to his right with his left hand and it shows a picture of John Cena) he will! Especially after how his last relationship ended. (Cut to the movie as Ike tells the two how messed up his life is as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Okay dude, no offense but if you were any kind of man, you would’ve been more mature and handled things better when the kimchi hit the fan! Anyway, the three get back to finding their kids after their ride explodes. They grab Austin’s dad’s phone after some unusually bizarre antics. (Cut to the parents as Ike and Cena mouth their words before cutting to James on Julia’s Couch.)
Okay dude, no offense but if you were any kind of man, you would’ve been more mature and handled things better when the kimchi hit the fan! Anyway, the three get back to finding their kids after their ride explodes. They grab Austin’s dad’s phone after some unusually bizarre antics. (Cut to the parents as Ike and Cena mouth their words before cutting to James on Julia’s Couch.)
Julia Alexa Miller:
T-Minus 30 minutes before my parents get here! (James mouths “I’m Doomed!” as the words are in the same text as the movie’s before cutting back to the movie as James does a voiceover)
T-Minus 30 minutes before my parents get here! (James mouths “I’m Doomed!” as the words are in the same text as the movie’s before cutting back to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Our three make it to the hotel party just as their parents do and the search begins. Julie’s night of hooking up begins just as her mom is under the bed hearing everything. Cena goes door to door to door to give Connor an Attitude Adjustment he’ll never forget except the fact Kayla and Manbun never did the deed! Cena and Kayla talk about what’s going on and for what it’s worth the two are cool. In the meantime, Ike finds his daughter as Ike and her talk out what’s up with her daughter and Ike admits he was wrong in not being there for his daughter as her daughter tells him she’s a lesbian and Frank and her mom doesn’t know and neither of her friends either because she’s afraid of losing them. After the three parents find themselves on solid ground with their kids, they decide to have a few shots. Meanwhile Julie does the deed, Kayla finds herself cool with her friends, Sam comes out, and the movie ends as it cuts to three months later as Julie heads on out to UCLA and a road trip with Kayla and Sam and the parents getting punked after they thought their daughters were up to more mishaps but I guess everything they went through had an effect on Cena as he and his wife decide to well... (Cut to mid-credit scene of John Cena and his wife playing nearly naked Blind Man’s bluff before someone related to the two walks in before cutting to James physically)
Our three make it to the hotel party just as their parents do and the search begins. Julie’s night of hooking up begins just as her mom is under the bed hearing everything. Cena goes door to door to door to give Connor an Attitude Adjustment he’ll never forget except the fact Kayla and Manbun never did the deed! Cena and Kayla talk about what’s going on and for what it’s worth the two are cool. In the meantime, Ike finds his daughter as Ike and her talk out what’s up with her daughter and Ike admits he was wrong in not being there for his daughter as her daughter tells him she’s a lesbian and Frank and her mom doesn’t know and neither of her friends either because she’s afraid of losing them. After the three parents find themselves on solid ground with their kids, they decide to have a few shots. Meanwhile Julie does the deed, Kayla finds herself cool with her friends, Sam comes out, and the movie ends as it cuts to three months later as Julie heads on out to UCLA and a road trip with Kayla and Sam and the parents getting punked after they thought their daughters were up to more mishaps but I guess everything they went through had an effect on Cena as he and his wife decide to well... (Cut to mid-credit scene of John Cena and his wife playing nearly naked Blind Man’s bluff before someone related to the two walks in before cutting to James physically)
TLOTA:
So that was “Blockers” and what else can I say except YOWZA! (Cut to clips of “Blockers” as James does a voiceover and 1:38-2:23 from “I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)” by Meatloaf plays in the foreground of the clips)
So that was “Blockers” and what else can I say except YOWZA! (Cut to clips of “Blockers” as James does a voiceover and 1:38-2:23 from “I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)” by Meatloaf plays in the foreground of the clips)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
This movie just was so Nucking Futs and keep in mind, the first true Teen Sex Comedy I ever saw was “Porky’s” and I was 12 and save for one trip that gave me Vietnam Flashback to "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" acting wise everyone pulls out a decent performance. The Story doesn’t drag on, the comedy isn’t too unbearable, and I really found myself enjoying this more I saw it. I say for those who are 18 and over give it a watch. Anyone else just wait it’ll be worth it. (Cut to James and Julia physically on the couch)
This movie just was so Nucking Futs and keep in mind, the first true Teen Sex Comedy I ever saw was “Porky’s” and I was 12 and save for one trip that gave me Vietnam Flashback to "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" acting wise everyone pulls out a decent performance. The Story doesn’t drag on, the comedy isn’t too unbearable, and I really found myself enjoying this more I saw it. I say for those who are 18 and over give it a watch. Anyone else just wait it’ll be worth it. (Cut to James and Julia physically on the couch)
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and… (Knock on the door) I’ll get that. (James walks away and the audio of the door opens, and James says, “Oh Hello, Alex your family is here, please cut off the review!” Julia Alexa Miller uses her Sonic Screwdriver as it cuts to black before the words “Several hours later” is seen on screen before cutting to James as he sits and sighs on the couch.)
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and… (Knock on the door) I’ll get that. (James walks away and the audio of the door opens, and James says, “Oh Hello, Alex your family is here, please cut off the review!” Julia Alexa Miller uses her Sonic Screwdriver as it cuts to black before the words “Several hours later” is seen on screen before cutting to James as he sits and sighs on the couch.)
TLOTA:
Wow, what a day! (Julia Alexa Miller walks in with a drink for herself and him)
Wow, what a day! (Julia Alexa Miller walks in with a drink for herself and him)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Well, the positive was you got along with my family. They really enjoyed your cooking and I heard what you and my family were talking about. James, trust me they really like you and you don’t have to be afraid of any of them not even my parents. That crowd in Sullivan County New York, now they are what you should be afraid of. (“Go, Go, Power Rangers is heard coming out from James) Is that your phone?
Well, the positive was you got along with my family. They really enjoyed your cooking and I heard what you and my family were talking about. James, trust me they really like you and you don’t have to be afraid of any of them not even my parents. That crowd in Sullivan County New York, now they are what you should be afraid of. (“Go, Go, Power Rangers is heard coming out from James) Is that your phone?
TLOTA:
Yeah, let me get that. Hello? Okay. Right Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah, Really? As long as I get to do the review with minimum interference Renee, Whatever John Cena movie you want I’ll do! Thanks. Yeah, I’ll be back soon. (James ends call) Well apparently Renee is sorry for driving me out of the studio and is willing to let me work on the last review in my Cena marathon in peace. The Caveat, I’ve got to review a John Cena movie that she wants me to review. (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller getting up)
Yeah, let me get that. Hello? Okay. Right Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah, Really? As long as I get to do the review with minimum interference Renee, Whatever John Cena movie you want I’ll do! Thanks. Yeah, I’ll be back soon. (James ends call) Well apparently Renee is sorry for driving me out of the studio and is willing to let me work on the last review in my Cena marathon in peace. The Caveat, I’ve got to review a John Cena movie that she wants me to review. (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller getting up)
Julia Alexa Miller:
James, if you go back there, the odds aren’t good on… (James kisses her.) Okay James, I’ll trust you. Good Luck.
James, if you go back there, the odds aren’t good on… (James kisses her.) Okay James, I’ll trust you. Good Luck.
TLOTA:
I’ll see you for Valentine’s Day. I love you.
I’ll see you for Valentine’s Day. I love you.
Julia Alexa Miller:
I know. (James walks away as the sound of James’ time and space device takes off as Julia Alexa Miller stands there with a scared for James’ sanity look on her face before she sees a box on the Coffee table and an envelope with the words “Do not open until Valentine’s Day” before slamming to black)
I know. (James walks away as the sound of James’ time and space device takes off as Julia Alexa Miller stands there with a scared for James’ sanity look on her face before she sees a box on the Coffee table and an envelope with the words “Do not open until Valentine’s Day” before slamming to black)
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