In Defense of... THE XFL?!?

(Opening begins at the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James in his office)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours and welcome to another edition of "In Defense Of..."(Show pics of maligned pieces of pop culture while the fanfare from the Olympics  play and James comes up after Vanilla Ice slides back and his right hand thumbs up and the words "In Defense Of..."  before cutting to James physically.)

TLOTA:
Well, it's Super Bowl Season and as usual for New York Jets Fans most are ending their lives in a myriad of different ways. But apparently there is hope in 2020 as a new Football league is coming in and it is run by... (Cut to an image of Vince McMahon before cutting to James looking scared). Well hopefully he won't make the same mistakes he did the first time, I mean it's not like he's going to try and revive (Cut to the XFL 2020 logo and James shouting "GODDAMN IT VINCE!" before cutting to James physically) Okay, maybe it won't be the same as it was in 2001, maybe he learned more in the time in between then and now. Lord willing and the crick don't rise! But maybe there is a small amount of good that came from the 2001 attempt to change the game or perhaps Vince knew what he was doing the first time around. (Cut to XFL 2001 footage as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Let's face facts The 2001 XFL season was doomed from the start! But I think even Vince McMahon knew that and for what it's worth it did somethings right. For example a rule was made that on any stoppage of play the clock would start up again once the ball was spotted. But that happened after a very, VERY DISASTEROUS MISSTEP done by the league on a Saturday Night telecast as it went into double overtime which forced Saturday Night Live to be delayed and well it wouldn't surprise me if Lorne Michaels went this level of nuts on Dick Ebersol (Cut to James in a green screen looking like a very battered, bloodied and bruised Lorne Michaels.)

Lorne Michaels:
DICK EBERSOL NOBODY EVER (BLEEP)ING DELAYS MY SHOW WHICH I HAVE FOUGHT TO STAY ON FOR THIS (BLEEP)ING LONG! YOU AND (BLEEP) MCMAHON WILL NEVER DELAY ANOTHER EPISODE OTHERWISE I WILL (BLEEP)ING BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH YOUR (BLEEP)ING XFL FOOTBALL! (Cut to a very nervous James peering up and out from behind his desk before cutting to more XFL 2001 footage as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
But there were more lessons learned because the Arena attendance numbers for the XFL depending on where you hear it from was doing well for itself. But the problem lied in the fact that this was meant to be a Televised Program first and a sport second. Something the new XFL will hopefully avoid making it a sport first and a TV program second. Then of course Vince went down the Gimmicks route. Starting off with an attempt for a rivalry between Rusty Tillman and Jesse Ventura the Then Minnesotan  Governor which went nowhere because Rusty Tillman didn't want anything to do with it. Then came the most absolute cheapest ploy for ratings, Vince McMahon was going to have a cameraman inside the Cheerleaders Locker Room which went... well... just watch. ( Show fantasy clip of what happened inside the Cheerleaders locker room before cutting to James physically)

TLOTA:
Okay Vince whatever Crazy pills you were on at the time please tell me you're no longer on them!

(Cut to XFL 2001 footage as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Then came the fact that the then titled World Wrestling Federation and XFL cross promotion in the early days of the XFL. We had Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson who played in College Football with the Miami Hurricanes to open the show and vignettes with The Undertaker and Stone Cold Steve Austin just to name a few people who should NOT have been promoting the XFL. What they should've done was have NFL legends who could've gone to training camps and advise rookies on what has to happen and give the upstart league a bit more credibility.But for whatever reason they decided against it. Hopefully they'll go that route this time. Then came a mission statement to "Evolve the sport while bringing Football back to it's roots." to para-quote Brian Zane from "Wrestling With Wreget" Okay, what roots back to the 1980's-90's era of Football where physicality was meant to be intense? The social paradigms that we had during the turbulent 1960's & 1970's? Or the Gentlemen violence at the start of the beginning of the sport until the 1950's? . The idea of bringing anything back to the way it was has not and will NEVER work because everything moves forward.The XFL should've been an evolutionary step forward for the NFL as to how to perform on TV not an attempt to take it back to a day it can never return to because it says that The XFL is out of touch and behind the times. If anyone thought that what that what Colin Kapernick got old timers upset well think again. There were legends in the sport that felt that young upstart Joe Namath was killing the sport. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:

This is why Vince's competitors in the Pro Wrestling business have failed. Why Herb Abrams UWF failed. Why the AWF went under. Why so many indie companies that Vince McMahon ran out of business and the XFL 2001 season failed because it tried to take something back to a point it can never go back to. So heed my words if anyone says they're out to bring something back to it's roots, RUN LIKE HELL AWAY FROM IT BECAUSE THEY WILL BURN THEMSELVES TO THE GROUND AND POSSIBLY TAKE YOU DOWN WITH THEM. Now back to whatever it is I was talking about.

(Cut to XFL 2001 footage as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

 By the "Million Dollar Championship" came out Ebersol and NBC were out of the XFL but Vince said there'd be a second season that is until UPN poached Buffy from WB and UPN expected Vince to foot the bill by cutting Smackdown by a half an hour or ending the XFL. Vince took the route all successful businessmen took. He put his money into the venture that was making the money and not costing him badly. With some of the lowest ratings to ever hit TV the XFL ended on a Pfft. But maybe that was part of McMahon's plans. See the reaction to the product as it was and see where it can go. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
As a matter of fact, I am going to go out on a line and say that the XFL 2001 season was in fact, the stress test season.

(Cut to a "Bar Rescue" episode in the middle of a Stress Test as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
A "Stress Test" is something businesses and companies do to see if everything can do well under pressure. If they succeed they will get a lot of people interested in what will happen and every employee will succeed when the kimchi hits the fan. It just surprised me that it took Vince this long to react and then try the XFL again. But this did help an alternative sports league get credibility. (Cut to clips of Arena Football League gameplay as James continues as His Voiceover) The Arena Football League got more recognition and more mainstream viewership. (Cut to NFL & other sports as James does a voiceover) And then came the fact that sports are now being filmed in the same way the XFL filmed and they've been putting mics on coaches and players as well as interviewing in mid-game so Vince may have changed how professional sports are done and some of the XFL players like Rod "He Hate Me" Smart and Tommy Maddox went on to win Super Bowls as well as The CFL Grey Cup.  (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
But after nearly two decades since the inception of the original XFL does it deserve all the ridicule it deserved? Not really.

(Cut to XFL 2001 footage as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Okay it was horribly produced, put together on the fly and cost Vince McMahon and Dick Ebersol money and credibility but watching the game play itself and how the player performance on-field was amazing and hopefully Vince learned enough to make sure what happened the first time with the XFL won't happen again when the new iteration of the XFL begins. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
I mean Vince has done worse. (Cut to clips of "The Three Stooges" on Monday Night Raw, John Laurinitis running both Raw and Smackdown into the ground, The first brand split, all the times John Cena got over and newer talent was buried unnecessarily, The Invasion storyline, All of the WWE Reality shows and finally The Montreal Screwjob before cutting back to James) Yeah Vince, I never forgot and neither has the fans. I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and that's my opinion.