(A
Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James
Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo
Morpher and punching in the code 428 then cut to James jumping down a cliff
from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American
Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of
American Gladiators shows James Faraci landing in Santa's sleigh and fully morphing into James
Faraci The Last Of The Americans basic mode with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with
the American flag design on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Black Work boots until
0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original
run as scene cuts to James and Santa riding with the 12th Doctor and Clara at the 0:13 mark from the theme from the final season of American
Gladiators original run. 0:14-0:17 show Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun as the two run after the Grinch before cutting to John and Mike Santos baking cookies before cutting to the 0:17-0:19 mark as it shows Paulo
& Brenda Fonseca popping in A Muppets Christmas Special on a player before cutting to the 0:20-0:28 mark as we see Eric Kurtzke, Ed
Champion, Andrew Beach and
Olivia Horvath decorating as it cuts to the doors outside of James' space and time machine as the 0:28 mark from the theme
from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James stands on top of
his Time and Space device and tosses a candy cane then cuts over to
multiple clips from the past five years of “The Last Of The Americans” Christmas reviews/top 12s as the Candy Cane flips end over end as the 0:36 mark from the theme
from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James
grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo &
Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his
right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion
on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end
mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run
play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with
the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground before cutting to the depths of space as a ship that dwarfs Spaceball one flies in pursuit of James' Time and Space device as it cuts to the cockpit of James' Time and Space Device as James and Julia Alexa Miller try to outrun the ship.)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Punch it James!
Punch it James!
TLOTA:
I'm trying my best Alex. (Snaps fingers) Wait a second, I got an idea. ORAC! Auto pilot!
I'm trying my best Alex. (Snaps fingers) Wait a second, I got an idea. ORAC! Auto pilot!
ORAC (Audio only):
Taking over controls now!
Taking over controls now!
TLOTA:
Alex, come with me! (Cut to the depths of space as a ship that dwarfs Spaceball one flies before cutting to a cockpit filled with alien lifeforms played by Team TLOTA and a commanding officer played by Steve Kidd)
Alex, come with me! (Cut to the depths of space as a ship that dwarfs Spaceball one flies before cutting to a cockpit filled with alien lifeforms played by Team TLOTA and a commanding officer played by Steve Kidd)
Commanding Officer:
Prepare Tractor Beam on the count of three! ONE! TWO! WAIT, MAGNIFY! (Cut to the view screen as it shows James and Julia Alexa Miller as they stand on the top of James' time and space device before cutting to James and Julia Alexa Miller at the top of the Time and Space device.)
TLOTA:
You ready Alex?
Julia Alexa Miller:
On three! ONE! TWO! THREE!
TLOTA & Julia Alexa Miller (in unison):
CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS! (Cut to the ship that dwarfs Spaceball one starts to disintegrate from the blast the two shout "Christmas" before cutting to James in his office)
TLOTA:
And that incident occured an hour before the party happened. The party itself was just as screwy! Obscurus Lupa and Phelous played dueling Eggnog recipes, Linkara had Steve's Roast Turkey Surprise and next thing I saw was Linkara in his undies shouting something cuckoo, Rowdy and Maria Feist got into the Martinelli's next thing I see is the two of them in the bathroom and next thing I'm dealing with is Deja Vu from the first big Internet Christmas Shindig I did after I got the studio, but the biggest one came from...(Knock on the Door) It's open. (Cut to Keith Apicary at the door)
Keith Apicary:
Hey James, you got anymore of that Pecan Pie, I was hoping to take some home with me. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
It's in the fridge!
Keith Apicary (Audio only):
Okay!
TLOTA:
Okay Keith Apicary being here was not the biggest surprise, it was the fact that I had been asked by the people in charge of Manic Expression to do something I had planned on doing anyway. (Cut to clips of different Christmas Specials as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Because for all the love we have for the holidays, it can drive even the toughest nut to crack! But I love even the craziest moments and believe it or not the craziness can be awesome it it's own right as can those Crazy Christmas Specials that we get. So to celebrate the crazy we're counting down the top 12 most bonkers, most insane, the 12 craziest Christmas Specials that are Nuttier than EVERY SINGLE FRUITCAKE ON THE PLANET! (Cut to James physically)
Because for all the love we have for the holidays, it can drive even the toughest nut to crack! But I love even the craziest moments and believe it or not the craziness can be awesome it it's own right as can those Crazy Christmas Specials that we get. So to celebrate the crazy we're counting down the top 12 most bonkers, most insane, the 12 craziest Christmas Specials that are Nuttier than EVERY SINGLE FRUITCAKE ON THE PLANET! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Why 12? Because I'm crazy not completely insane! Also in this moment of clarity allow The 12th Doctor to say something even I don't have to say. (Cut to a clip of The 12th Doctor in "Twice Upon A Time" as he says "Spoilers" before cut to James) These are the Top 12 Craziest Christmas Specials! (Cut to clips of the craziest Christmas Specials ever before cutting to a scene of Santa in a Straight Jacket as he sways back and forth in a padded cell as "Patrick Swayze Christmas" from "MST3K: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" plays in the foreground as the words "The Top 12 Craziest Christmas Specials" before the words disappear and the number appears)
Why 12? Because I'm crazy not completely insane! Also in this moment of clarity allow The 12th Doctor to say something even I don't have to say. (Cut to a clip of The 12th Doctor in "Twice Upon A Time" as he says "Spoilers" before cut to James) These are the Top 12 Craziest Christmas Specials! (Cut to clips of the craziest Christmas Specials ever before cutting to a scene of Santa in a Straight Jacket as he sways back and forth in a padded cell as "Patrick Swayze Christmas" from "MST3K: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" plays in the foreground as the words "The Top 12 Craziest Christmas Specials" before the words disappear and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number Twelve
Number Twelve
(Cut to clips of "Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion" as James does a voiceover)
12) Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion
TLOTA (Voiceover):
As a Whovian, I had a Plethora of Christmas Specials to look at but this was one of the first one of the New Who era and they decided to go full on out crazy with it. The special had seen a newly regenerated Doctor performed by David Tennant. A Satellite that hopes to make contact with Alien life and a group of aliens known as the Sycorax demanding humanity either surrender or watch as a third of the population dies to show they mean business. So after a quick shot of Jackie Tyler's Tea in a situation so insane that it went from bad to worse with every passing second, The Doctor comes back to action and saves the day in Pajamas! That is a mix of Bad Ass and Bonkers! While admittedly there are many great moments from watching this, but if this is your introduction to Doctor Who and you never heard of or seen of it then brace yourself for something Christmas-y and Crazy at the same time. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And I can't wait for this year's Christmas Special with Jodie Whitaker as the Doctor... (Cut to a still of The 13th Doctor as "The Price Is Right" losing horn plays and a rubber stamps comes down and the words "Not Happening" stamps on the still before cutting to James physically)
TLOTA:
No Doctor Who Christmas Special this year?! That's Crazier than this special!
12) Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion
TLOTA (Voiceover):
As a Whovian, I had a Plethora of Christmas Specials to look at but this was one of the first one of the New Who era and they decided to go full on out crazy with it. The special had seen a newly regenerated Doctor performed by David Tennant. A Satellite that hopes to make contact with Alien life and a group of aliens known as the Sycorax demanding humanity either surrender or watch as a third of the population dies to show they mean business. So after a quick shot of Jackie Tyler's Tea in a situation so insane that it went from bad to worse with every passing second, The Doctor comes back to action and saves the day in Pajamas! That is a mix of Bad Ass and Bonkers! While admittedly there are many great moments from watching this, but if this is your introduction to Doctor Who and you never heard of or seen of it then brace yourself for something Christmas-y and Crazy at the same time. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And I can't wait for this year's Christmas Special with Jodie Whitaker as the Doctor... (Cut to a still of The 13th Doctor as "The Price Is Right" losing horn plays and a rubber stamps comes down and the words "Not Happening" stamps on the still before cutting to James physically)
TLOTA:
No Doctor Who Christmas Special this year?! That's Crazier than this special!
(Cut to a scene of Santa in a Straight Jacket as he sways back and forth in a padded cell as "Patrick Swayze Christmas" from "MST3K: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" plays in the foreground and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number Eleven
(Cut to clips of "Twas The Night Before Good Eats" from "Good Eats" as James does a voiceover)
11) "Twas The Night Before Good Eats" from "Good Eats"
11) "Twas The Night Before Good Eats" from "Good Eats"
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Now I know what many of you are thinking. "A Cooking Show?" "How can a show about cooking be insane?" Well while many are simply about cramming as many recipes into either thirty minutes or an hour. "Good Eats" mixed storytelling, making recipes, being humorous and being informative in their series. In this episode he makes Wassail, Roast Duck with Cornbread and Oyster Dressing & Sugar Plums all while being haunted by the spirit of the real Saint Nicholas played by Bart Hansard, The Spirit of Uncle Sam played by Lucky Yates, A very sadistic Sugar Plum Fairy played by Jen Apgar and The spirit of Charles Dickens played by Good Eats Regular Daniel Pettrow. And yes there is a reason I put Charles Dickens at the end because if you've seen "A Christmas Carol" then you know that this is Alton's take on it, even though the title is a nod to the short holiday story "Twas The Night Before Christmas". In the episode Alton is feeling fricasseed on trying to make an episode of "Good Eats" around the Holidays. So instead he decides to take it easy but the aforementioned ghosts aren't gonna let him get away that easy. Can he make the aforementioned recipes without being beat to a pulp and get into the holiday spirit while keeping the last vestiges of his sanity intact? Well you'll have to pay a few bucks to find out on Amazon and or YouTube but trust me not only is it good, it's friggin' cuckoo in all the right ways.
Now I know what many of you are thinking. "A Cooking Show?" "How can a show about cooking be insane?" Well while many are simply about cramming as many recipes into either thirty minutes or an hour. "Good Eats" mixed storytelling, making recipes, being humorous and being informative in their series. In this episode he makes Wassail, Roast Duck with Cornbread and Oyster Dressing & Sugar Plums all while being haunted by the spirit of the real Saint Nicholas played by Bart Hansard, The Spirit of Uncle Sam played by Lucky Yates, A very sadistic Sugar Plum Fairy played by Jen Apgar and The spirit of Charles Dickens played by Good Eats Regular Daniel Pettrow. And yes there is a reason I put Charles Dickens at the end because if you've seen "A Christmas Carol" then you know that this is Alton's take on it, even though the title is a nod to the short holiday story "Twas The Night Before Christmas". In the episode Alton is feeling fricasseed on trying to make an episode of "Good Eats" around the Holidays. So instead he decides to take it easy but the aforementioned ghosts aren't gonna let him get away that easy. Can he make the aforementioned recipes without being beat to a pulp and get into the holiday spirit while keeping the last vestiges of his sanity intact? Well you'll have to pay a few bucks to find out on Amazon and or YouTube but trust me not only is it good, it's friggin' cuckoo in all the right ways.
(Cut to a scene of Santa in a Straight Jacket as he sways back and forth in a padded cell as "Patrick Swayze Christmas" from "MST3K: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" plays in the foreground and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number Ten
(Cut to clips of "Beavis & Butthead Do Christmas" as James does a voiceover)
10) " Beavis & Butthead Do Christmas"
Number Ten
(Cut to clips of "Beavis & Butthead Do Christmas" as James does a voiceover)
10) " Beavis & Butthead Do Christmas"
TLOTA (Voiceover):
(Cut to a scene of Santa in a Straight Jacket as he sways back and forth in a padded cell as "Patrick Swayze Christmas" from "MST3K: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" plays in the foreground and the number appears)
While the first one was them riffing on the Yule Log and Christmas Music Videos which was entertaining in it's own right. This takes the two and ramp the insanity of the holidays to over nine thousand! Having Beavis in his own version of " A Christmas Carol" and Butthead in his own version of "It's A Wonderful Life" is crazy enough as is. But when you have segments of the two answering letters from real people, that takes it to another level of insanity and as if THAT wasn't enough they also throw in letters from real fans being answered by the duo. The craziness just flows like water from a destroyed dam! But I would be remised if I felt that the special despite it's craziness is worth a watch but not by anyone under the age of 16 as well as what's at the number nine spot.
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number Nine
(Cut to clips of "Woodland Critter Christmas" & "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics" as James does a voiceover)
09) South Park: Woodland Critter Christmas & Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics
TLOTA (Voiceover):
I had to put both of these South Park episodes together because they're flat out insane. "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics" have classic Christmas and Hanukkah songs brought to us by the townspeople of South Park, A Winter /Christmas Duet Medley that includes "Rio" by Duran Duran of all songs is crazy enough then we have "Three Ships" being performed by Shelly that ends with Stan & Kyle who had been mocking and taunting her relentlessly behind her getting what they had coming to them. A Piano landing on them. Then we get "Woodland Critter Christmas" which has Stan meeting talking Creatures who are celebrating Christmas. Though if I went on further talking about this I'd be spoiling the fun of you checking out this crazy Christmas classic from "South Park" which I feel is a nihilistic spoof on a lot of "Rankin & Bass" Christmas classics. But both are so humorously crazy that they deserve to be on this list together.
Number Nine
(Cut to clips of "Woodland Critter Christmas" & "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics" as James does a voiceover)
09) South Park: Woodland Critter Christmas & Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics
TLOTA (Voiceover):
I had to put both of these South Park episodes together because they're flat out insane. "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics" have classic Christmas and Hanukkah songs brought to us by the townspeople of South Park, A Winter /Christmas Duet Medley that includes "Rio" by Duran Duran of all songs is crazy enough then we have "Three Ships" being performed by Shelly that ends with Stan & Kyle who had been mocking and taunting her relentlessly behind her getting what they had coming to them. A Piano landing on them. Then we get "Woodland Critter Christmas" which has Stan meeting talking Creatures who are celebrating Christmas. Though if I went on further talking about this I'd be spoiling the fun of you checking out this crazy Christmas classic from "South Park" which I feel is a nihilistic spoof on a lot of "Rankin & Bass" Christmas classics. But both are so humorously crazy that they deserve to be on this list together.
(Cut to a scene of Santa in a Straight Jacket as he sways back and forth in a padded cell as "Patrick Swayze Christmas" from "MST3K: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" plays in the foreground and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number Eight
(Cut to clips of "The Glee Holiday Special" from "GLEE" as James does a voiceover)
08) "The Glee Holiday Special" from "GLEE"
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number Eight
(Cut to clips of "The Glee Holiday Special" from "GLEE" as James does a voiceover)
08) "The Glee Holiday Special" from "GLEE"
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Okay, admittedly I was never a real fan of the series but I just decided one day to check out their Christmas special and before I knew it, they were parodying a lot of classic Christmas variety specials that were done from the fifties all the way up to... (Cut to clip of how Finn and Puck enter dressed like Star Wars Character knockoffs before cutting to James physically)
TLOTA:
Okay true story here, in 2016 me and Steve Kidd did a riff on the Star Wars Holiday Special. (Knock on the door) one moment. (Cut to James at the door as Steve Kidd grabs James by the shirt and starts shaking James.)
Steve Kidd:
Okay true story here, in 2016 me and Steve Kidd did a riff on the Star Wars Holiday Special. (Knock on the door) one moment. (Cut to James at the door as Steve Kidd grabs James by the shirt and starts shaking James.)
Steve Kidd:
WE DO NOT MENTION THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL! IT DROVE ME TO MADNESS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND! (Julia Alexa Miller appears from out of nowhere to Vulcan neck pinches Steve to render him unconscious)
Julia Alexa Miller:
I'll take care of him, get back at it.
I'll take care of him, get back at it.
TLOTA:
Thanks Alex, As I was trying to say. Steve Kidd and I did a riff on the Star Wars Holiday Special and Steve still has Vietnam insanity from watching that. (Cut to clips of "The Glee Holiday Special" as James does a voiceover)
Thanks Alex, As I was trying to say. Steve Kidd and I did a riff on the Star Wars Holiday Special and Steve still has Vietnam insanity from watching that. (Cut to clips of "The Glee Holiday Special" as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
But aside from adding that bit of extra insanity. Hearing these Christmas classics and seeing these parodies of classic Christmas variety specials are a special level of crazy the same people who brought us "Nip/Tuck", "American Horror Story" & "Scream Queens" just to name a few of their other crazy series. Check it out and either enjoy it for the music, the parodies or just for the crazy of it.
But aside from adding that bit of extra insanity. Hearing these Christmas classics and seeing these parodies of classic Christmas variety specials are a special level of crazy the same people who brought us "Nip/Tuck", "American Horror Story" & "Scream Queens" just to name a few of their other crazy series. Check it out and either enjoy it for the music, the parodies or just for the crazy of it.
(Cut to a scene of Santa in a Straight Jacket as he sways back and forth in a padded cell as "Patrick Swayze Christmas" from "MST3K: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" plays in the foreground and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number Seven
(Cut to clips of "He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special" as James does a voiceover)
07) The He-Man/She-Ra Christmas Special
TLOTA (Voiceover):
I have NO idea what Lou Scheimer and everyone at Filmation were on when they came up with this one but Hooo-Boy is this one BONKERS! We're talking celebrating Aliens, Swords & Sorcery, Robots, walking Skeletons fighting the forces of good. So much that if I were to get into the plot, I may go off the deep end but like so many on this list it is an enjoyable level of crazy and cheesy that you have to see it for yourself to see how insane this Christmas Special is.
TLOTA:
Number Seven
(Cut to clips of "He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special" as James does a voiceover)
07) The He-Man/She-Ra Christmas Special
TLOTA (Voiceover):
I have NO idea what Lou Scheimer and everyone at Filmation were on when they came up with this one but Hooo-Boy is this one BONKERS! We're talking celebrating Aliens, Swords & Sorcery, Robots, walking Skeletons fighting the forces of good. So much that if I were to get into the plot, I may go off the deep end but like so many on this list it is an enjoyable level of crazy and cheesy that you have to see it for yourself to see how insane this Christmas Special is.
TLOTA:
Well we're half way through the list and the crazy has just begun to flow. But to keep us on an even keel, let's take a break (James hears a crashing noise) ORAC, Do I even need to ask?
ORAC (Audio Only):If you're aware that Keith shattered several objects and food containers to find the Pecan Pie, I might suggest you get assistance to help Keith.
(James runs out of frame before fading to black before cutting to James while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo &
Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his
right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion
on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end
mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run
play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with
the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground then fade to black before replaying the moment to when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo &
Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his
right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion
on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end
mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run
play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with
the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground before cutting back to James and Julia Alexa Miller watch the Emergency Workers take Keith Apicary away on a stretcher)
Julia Alexa Miller:
That poor schmuck all that pain for some Pecan Pie
TLOTA:
I know, Well at least he's going to get some real good medical care here in town. Guys Wait! (James walks over to the EMTs and Keith as he gives Keith the Pecan Pie and the EMTs a tip to make sure they take good care of themselves and Keith) Take care of him and yourselves this season. (James walks back into the studio to see Julia Alexa Miller kiss James on the Cheek.)
I know, Well at least he's going to get some real good medical care here in town. Guys Wait! (James walks over to the EMTs and Keith as he gives Keith the Pecan Pie and the EMTs a tip to make sure they take good care of themselves and Keith) Take care of him and yourselves this season. (James walks back into the studio to see Julia Alexa Miller kiss James on the Cheek.)
Julia Alexa Miller:
That was for you being a nice guy, now get back to the countdown.
That was for you being a nice guy, now get back to the countdown.
TLOTA:
Okay Number six.
Okay Number six.
(Cut to a scene of Santa in a Straight Jacket as he sways back and forth in a padded cell as "Patrick Swayze Christmas" from "MST3K: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" plays in the foreground and the number appears before cutting to clips of "Batman Returns" as James does a voiceover)
06) "Batman Returns"
06) "Batman Returns"
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Yeah, I know that it's insane to put this movie that basically slowed down if not killed an entire Batman Movie franchise but I'm not the only crazy person who watches it this time of the year! There are people like me who watch this and see which crazy thing they didn't see the first time. Like the fact that this was one of Paul Reubens first roles after the arrest that killed Pee-Wee Herman who played The Penguin's Father and Diane Salinger who worked with Reubens and director Tim Burton in a little known movie called "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" or the fact that the actor who played Chip in this movie went on to perform both Leatherface in the Texas Chainsaw Remake done by Michael Bay and Michael Myers in the Rob Zombie "Halloween" Movies. That's amazing. But yeah for a lot of people this really is a dark movie and for it to be set around Christmas time is insane enough but trust me when I say that people actually enjoy this movie with Christmas classics and believe it or not, So do I.
(Cut to a scene of Santa in a Straight Jacket as he sways back and forth in a padded cell as "Patrick Swayze Christmas" from "MST3K: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" plays in the foreground and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number Five
Number Five
(Cut to clips of the MST3K Christmas Episodes as James does a voiceover)
05) The MST3K Christmas centered episodes!
TLOTA (Voiceover):
These are just crazy, funny and for me fun. The "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" episode was my entry to Mystery Science Theater 3000! Seeing Tom Servo, Crow and Joel just take the egg nog out of the movie was so crazy it actually put me in the Christmas Spirit. Then came Mike's Christmas Episode "Santa Claus" during the point when he was getting his sea legs on the Satellite and in that episode the way they went after the Santa Claus Movie was Gold. While the ending of the episode was crazy and illogical it was fun to enjoy. Now with the return of the series, they had to do a Christmas one and they went for the gold medal with "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't". The new guy on the Satellite Jonah Heston played by Jonah Ray had to riff on a Christmas movie and for me the ending of the movie which became a series of still frames of Santa and his crew of characters in the movie making deliveries which was Perfectly parodied by not only Jonah and the bots but by Kinga Forrester played by Felicia Day and Max, TV's Son Of TV's Frank played by Patton Oswalt and it was so insane that it worked and I loved every moment from these Crazy Christmas episodes. (Cut to James and Julia Alexa Miller physically)
TLOTA:
And before I forget as I was working on this, Alex and me went through "The Gauntlet" and survived! As a matter of fact we sent in the fact we survived to those at Moon Base 13 and they just sent us these lovely packages. Let's open them.
Julia Alexa Miller:
Okay (Alex and James open up their packages) "I survived "The Gauntlet" and all I got is this lousy Tee-Shirt" Tee-Shirt?
TLOTA:
You're not only magical, you're also lucky I got something I can't show on the internet.
Julia Alexa Miller:
How bad can it be?
TLOTA:
It's TV's Frank's old head! (Max, TV's Son Of TV's Frank played by Patton Oswald walks in and takes the head)
Max, TV's Son Of TV's Frank:
That belongs to me! (Max, TV's Son Of TV's Frank tosses James the same Tee-Shirt Julia Alexa Miller got from Moon Base 13) Enjoy your shirt! (Max, TV's Son Of TV's Frank walks away and James sees it's the same shirt)
TLOTA:
Well at least we get the same shirt.
05) The MST3K Christmas centered episodes!
TLOTA (Voiceover):
These are just crazy, funny and for me fun. The "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" episode was my entry to Mystery Science Theater 3000! Seeing Tom Servo, Crow and Joel just take the egg nog out of the movie was so crazy it actually put me in the Christmas Spirit. Then came Mike's Christmas Episode "Santa Claus" during the point when he was getting his sea legs on the Satellite and in that episode the way they went after the Santa Claus Movie was Gold. While the ending of the episode was crazy and illogical it was fun to enjoy. Now with the return of the series, they had to do a Christmas one and they went for the gold medal with "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't". The new guy on the Satellite Jonah Heston played by Jonah Ray had to riff on a Christmas movie and for me the ending of the movie which became a series of still frames of Santa and his crew of characters in the movie making deliveries which was Perfectly parodied by not only Jonah and the bots but by Kinga Forrester played by Felicia Day and Max, TV's Son Of TV's Frank played by Patton Oswalt and it was so insane that it worked and I loved every moment from these Crazy Christmas episodes. (Cut to James and Julia Alexa Miller physically)
TLOTA:
And before I forget as I was working on this, Alex and me went through "The Gauntlet" and survived! As a matter of fact we sent in the fact we survived to those at Moon Base 13 and they just sent us these lovely packages. Let's open them.
Julia Alexa Miller:
Okay (Alex and James open up their packages) "I survived "The Gauntlet" and all I got is this lousy Tee-Shirt" Tee-Shirt?
TLOTA:
You're not only magical, you're also lucky I got something I can't show on the internet.
Julia Alexa Miller:
How bad can it be?
TLOTA:
It's TV's Frank's old head! (Max, TV's Son Of TV's Frank played by Patton Oswald walks in and takes the head)
Max, TV's Son Of TV's Frank:
That belongs to me! (Max, TV's Son Of TV's Frank tosses James the same Tee-Shirt Julia Alexa Miller got from Moon Base 13) Enjoy your shirt! (Max, TV's Son Of TV's Frank walks away and James sees it's the same shirt)
TLOTA:
Well at least we get the same shirt.
(James and Julia Alexa Miller smile then sigh as it cuts to a scene of Santa in a Straight Jacket as he sways back and forth in a padded cell as "Patrick Swayze Christmas" from "MST3K: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" plays in the foreground and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number Four
(Cut to clips of "Comfort & Joy" from Justice League as James does a voiceover)
04) "Comfort & Joy" from the 2001 Justice League Animated Series.
TLOTA (Voiceover):
The Justice League after saving the day once again decide to spend their holidays at home with Superman played by George Newbern taking J'onn J'onzz played by Carl Lumbly aka M'yrnn J'onzz in the live action Supergirl series back to Smallville to help J'onn find the Holiday Spirit while Hawkgirl played by Maria Canals-Barrera and the John Stewart Green Lantern played by Phil LaMarr find the Holiday spirit while being in a bar far away from here and The Flash played by Michael Rosenbaum (Cut to a still image of Lex Luthor from "Smallville" as James says "Yes, THAT Michael Rosenbaum" before returning to "Comfort & Joy" as James continues his voiceover) Any way Flash decides to do something charitable which is ruined by The Ultra Humanite but discovering what The Flash was doing means more for kids who barely scrape by in an orphanage and what Flash was going to bring would've been a little joy into their lives. So why is this on a list of the craziest Christmas Specials? Because the crazy part is how normal it all feels for our team. For Superman being home in Smallville to enjoy his home is normal, for Hawkgirl it's bringing a guy to an alien bar to get into a brawl and for The Flash doing something for Central City's unfortunate is normal. But this is an enjoyable crazy that it goes back to being sane. Find it and enjoy the ennui of it.
Number Four
(Cut to clips of "Comfort & Joy" from Justice League as James does a voiceover)
04) "Comfort & Joy" from the 2001 Justice League Animated Series.
TLOTA (Voiceover):
The Justice League after saving the day once again decide to spend their holidays at home with Superman played by George Newbern taking J'onn J'onzz played by Carl Lumbly aka M'yrnn J'onzz in the live action Supergirl series back to Smallville to help J'onn find the Holiday Spirit while Hawkgirl played by Maria Canals-Barrera and the John Stewart Green Lantern played by Phil LaMarr find the Holiday spirit while being in a bar far away from here and The Flash played by Michael Rosenbaum (Cut to a still image of Lex Luthor from "Smallville" as James says "Yes, THAT Michael Rosenbaum" before returning to "Comfort & Joy" as James continues his voiceover) Any way Flash decides to do something charitable which is ruined by The Ultra Humanite but discovering what The Flash was doing means more for kids who barely scrape by in an orphanage and what Flash was going to bring would've been a little joy into their lives. So why is this on a list of the craziest Christmas Specials? Because the crazy part is how normal it all feels for our team. For Superman being home in Smallville to enjoy his home is normal, for Hawkgirl it's bringing a guy to an alien bar to get into a brawl and for The Flash doing something for Central City's unfortunate is normal. But this is an enjoyable crazy that it goes back to being sane. Find it and enjoy the ennui of it.
(Cut to a scene of Santa in a Straight Jacket as he sways back and forth in a padded cell as "Patrick Swayze Christmas" from "MST3K: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" plays in the foreground and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number Three
(Cut to clips of "Alpha's Magical Christmas" as James does a voiceover)
03) "Alpha's Magical Christmas"
TLOTA (Voiceover):
A lot of fans of "Power Rangers" have made it clear that they aren't particularly fans of the Christmas episodes or specials they have done and do to this day. The First one is especially nuts. While it sounded like a good idea on paper to give Alpha Five his own Christmas special. Whose brilliant idea was it to have Alpha Five kidnap children on Christmas Eve to sing Christmas Carols to Alpha and Zordon? Because, there is a million other ways for this special to have worked but for what it's worth, it's not as bad as it could be. Is it insane? You bet. Does it have moments that have people scratching their heads wondering if they're the ones being held hostage to sing Christmas Carols? Yes. But for all this insanity I do find myself enjoying this nutty fruitcake of a Christmas Special.
Number Three
(Cut to clips of "Alpha's Magical Christmas" as James does a voiceover)
03) "Alpha's Magical Christmas"
TLOTA (Voiceover):
A lot of fans of "Power Rangers" have made it clear that they aren't particularly fans of the Christmas episodes or specials they have done and do to this day. The First one is especially nuts. While it sounded like a good idea on paper to give Alpha Five his own Christmas special. Whose brilliant idea was it to have Alpha Five kidnap children on Christmas Eve to sing Christmas Carols to Alpha and Zordon? Because, there is a million other ways for this special to have worked but for what it's worth, it's not as bad as it could be. Is it insane? You bet. Does it have moments that have people scratching their heads wondering if they're the ones being held hostage to sing Christmas Carols? Yes. But for all this insanity I do find myself enjoying this nutty fruitcake of a Christmas Special.
(Cut to a scene of Santa in a Straight Jacket as he sways back and forth in a padded cell as "Patrick Swayze Christmas" from "MST3K: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" plays in the foreground and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number Two
(Cut to clips of "A Very Mermaid Christmas" from "Life As A Mermaid" as James does a voiceover)
Number Two
(Cut to clips of "A Very Mermaid Christmas" from "Life As A Mermaid" as James does a voiceover)
02) "A Very Mermaid Christmas" from "Life As A Mermaid"
TLOTA (Voiceover):
While their second special "Aquanania" by all accounts should be here, this one, their first Christmas Special said hold my kelp and went and out crazed the one about their original holiday. It's Christmas time for Stanley played by Cambell Dodson and has invited his old friends Nat played by Maria Feist, Liam played by Diego Torres Kuri and of course his mermaid friends Madison and Valerie played by Taylor Huff and Marcella DiPasqualle as Stanley tries to make some mirth and memories with his friends and apparently his girlfriend Shelly played by Angela Halili. From there, Chaos and insanity ensues. Liam sets the turkey on fire, the house Stanley is staying in loses power, Madison and Valerie think Shelly is a Crab person but instead had a skin condition and so there is a message of learning and Tolerance thrown into this and I love it. I love every ounce of insanity, I love the messages it sends and it just seems like something so crazy it could be fun.
TLOTA (Voiceover):
While their second special "Aquanania" by all accounts should be here, this one, their first Christmas Special said hold my kelp and went and out crazed the one about their original holiday. It's Christmas time for Stanley played by Cambell Dodson and has invited his old friends Nat played by Maria Feist, Liam played by Diego Torres Kuri and of course his mermaid friends Madison and Valerie played by Taylor Huff and Marcella DiPasqualle as Stanley tries to make some mirth and memories with his friends and apparently his girlfriend Shelly played by Angela Halili. From there, Chaos and insanity ensues. Liam sets the turkey on fire, the house Stanley is staying in loses power, Madison and Valerie think Shelly is a Crab person but instead had a skin condition and so there is a message of learning and Tolerance thrown into this and I love it. I love every ounce of insanity, I love the messages it sends and it just seems like something so crazy it could be fun.
(Cut to a scene of Santa in a Straight Jacket as he sways back and forth in a padded cell as "Patrick Swayze Christmas" from "MST3K: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" plays in the foreground and the number appears)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
And The Number One most insane, bonkers, looney tunes, out of it's own gourd, CRAZIEST Christmas Special IS...
(Cut to clips of "Lethal Weapon" as James does a voiceover)
And The Number One most insane, bonkers, looney tunes, out of it's own gourd, CRAZIEST Christmas Special IS...
(Cut to clips of "Lethal Weapon" as James does a voiceover)
01) LETHAL WEAPON!
TLOTA (Voiceover):
This is not a joke! This is the craziest Christmas special I ever saw and Sgt. Martin Riggs played by Mel Gibson definitely allowed the insanity of the Holidays coupled with the fact his wife was killed around the Holidays drive the poor guy to the Nut House. But through his new partnership with Sgt. Roger Murtaugh played by Danny Glover he is able to slowly come out of the heavy sorrows of his insanity and learned how to enjoy life all the while solving a murder that gets way into some deep stuff. But at the end of it, Martin and Roger become brothers and Martin celebrates by admitting he's nuts but not the sad depressed type of nuts anymore and more the happy, manic crazy most people are now and can enjoy the Holidays with Roger and his Family. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And that is keeping the spoilers to a minimum. So why is this number one? Well we have Bruce Willis to thank for this one. (Cut to the clip of "The Comedy Central Roast Of Bruce Willis" as he denounces "Die Hard" being a Holiday movie before cutting to more clips of "Lethal Weapon" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
You heard correct, when Bruce Willis said "Die Hard is not a Holiday movie" This movie automatically got the Number one spot on this list. Because not only is it insane and insanely good it for all intent and purposes fits into any holiday movie marathon. So congrats Lethal Weapon, you are the most insanely crazy Christmas Special/Movie of all time. (Show ending of Roger heading into his domicile before cutting to James physically)
TLOTA:
And I know there are crazier so do me a favor and put the craziest ones you enjoy in the comments section below. Now after going through all of this, does this make me find the Holidays unbearably insane? NO! (Cut to clips of Christmas Specials in which characters go insane as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
I mean that's part of the fun, the sheer insanity of it and when that insanity happens and you think that you won't see the light at the end of the tunnel trust me Holidays are meant to put the pressure on you. While many shatter, there are those who push through and succeed in making everyone happy and in doing so making memories that last both good and bad and even the bad memories have their good points. What I'm trying to say if it makes any sense at all is everyone might be extra insane around the holidays. But knowing that everyone suffers the insanity you suffer during this time and instead of getting angry embrace it and you will see that light and know that the peace of mind you hope for will be the best present to yourself you earn. (Cut to James and Team TLOTA physically)
TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and on behalf of all of us here from Team The Last Of The Americans we wish you all a Sane and Merry Christmas.
Paulo Fonseca:
And to help us get over the craziness of these holidays and this year a gift to us! Brenda, unleash the Martinelli's! (Brenda comes in with bottles of Martinelli's and everyone cheer and celebrate before fading to black then cutting to James thanking everyone for helping before James closes up as a piano version of "O Little Town Of Bethlehem" plays and James walks over to Julia Alexa Miller on the couch.)
TLOTA:
Alex, I know I promised you I wouldn't spend a nickel on a Christmas Present and I didn't spend anything. I made this for you. (Julia Alexa Miller opens the package to see a Sonic Screwdriver.)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Um, Okay what is it?
TLOTA:
An Isomorphic Sonic Screwdriver, made it myself in the shop.
Julia Alexa Miller:
It's interesting. I like it. Oh, before I forget, (Julia Alexa Miller pulls out a small box)made this for us.
TLOTA:
Really, What is it? (Julia Alexa Miller encourages James to open it as he sees something.) Alex, I don't know what to say.
Julia Alexa Miller:
Just say what's in your heart.
TLOTA:
I love them. One for you and one for me. Happy Aquanania, Julia Alexa Miller.
Julia Alexa Miller:
Merry Christmas, James Benjamin Faraci. (The two sit together on the couch, settle in for a Christmas movie and kiss before fading to black)
This is not a joke! This is the craziest Christmas special I ever saw and Sgt. Martin Riggs played by Mel Gibson definitely allowed the insanity of the Holidays coupled with the fact his wife was killed around the Holidays drive the poor guy to the Nut House. But through his new partnership with Sgt. Roger Murtaugh played by Danny Glover he is able to slowly come out of the heavy sorrows of his insanity and learned how to enjoy life all the while solving a murder that gets way into some deep stuff. But at the end of it, Martin and Roger become brothers and Martin celebrates by admitting he's nuts but not the sad depressed type of nuts anymore and more the happy, manic crazy most people are now and can enjoy the Holidays with Roger and his Family. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And that is keeping the spoilers to a minimum. So why is this number one? Well we have Bruce Willis to thank for this one. (Cut to the clip of "The Comedy Central Roast Of Bruce Willis" as he denounces "Die Hard" being a Holiday movie before cutting to more clips of "Lethal Weapon" as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
You heard correct, when Bruce Willis said "Die Hard is not a Holiday movie" This movie automatically got the Number one spot on this list. Because not only is it insane and insanely good it for all intent and purposes fits into any holiday movie marathon. So congrats Lethal Weapon, you are the most insanely crazy Christmas Special/Movie of all time. (Show ending of Roger heading into his domicile before cutting to James physically)
TLOTA:
And I know there are crazier so do me a favor and put the craziest ones you enjoy in the comments section below. Now after going through all of this, does this make me find the Holidays unbearably insane? NO! (Cut to clips of Christmas Specials in which characters go insane as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
I mean that's part of the fun, the sheer insanity of it and when that insanity happens and you think that you won't see the light at the end of the tunnel trust me Holidays are meant to put the pressure on you. While many shatter, there are those who push through and succeed in making everyone happy and in doing so making memories that last both good and bad and even the bad memories have their good points. What I'm trying to say if it makes any sense at all is everyone might be extra insane around the holidays. But knowing that everyone suffers the insanity you suffer during this time and instead of getting angry embrace it and you will see that light and know that the peace of mind you hope for will be the best present to yourself you earn. (Cut to James and Team TLOTA physically)
TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and on behalf of all of us here from Team The Last Of The Americans we wish you all a Sane and Merry Christmas.
Paulo Fonseca:
And to help us get over the craziness of these holidays and this year a gift to us! Brenda, unleash the Martinelli's! (Brenda comes in with bottles of Martinelli's and everyone cheer and celebrate before fading to black then cutting to James thanking everyone for helping before James closes up as a piano version of "O Little Town Of Bethlehem" plays and James walks over to Julia Alexa Miller on the couch.)
TLOTA:
Alex, I know I promised you I wouldn't spend a nickel on a Christmas Present and I didn't spend anything. I made this for you. (Julia Alexa Miller opens the package to see a Sonic Screwdriver.)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Um, Okay what is it?
TLOTA:
An Isomorphic Sonic Screwdriver, made it myself in the shop.
Julia Alexa Miller:
It's interesting. I like it. Oh, before I forget, (Julia Alexa Miller pulls out a small box)made this for us.
TLOTA:
Really, What is it? (Julia Alexa Miller encourages James to open it as he sees something.) Alex, I don't know what to say.
Julia Alexa Miller:
Just say what's in your heart.
TLOTA:
I love them. One for you and one for me. Happy Aquanania, Julia Alexa Miller.
Julia Alexa Miller:
Merry Christmas, James Benjamin Faraci. (The two sit together on the couch, settle in for a Christmas movie and kiss before fading to black)
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