Thursday, July 20, 2017

In Defense Of... The 2005 & 2007 Fantastic Four Movies

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then cutting to James in his chair)

TLOTA: I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own & some of yours and welcome to another edition of "In Defense Of..."(Show pics of maligned pieces of pop culture while the fanfare from the Olympics  play and James comes up after Vanilla Ice slides back and his right hand thumbs up and the words "In Defense Of..."  before cutting to Fan4Stic as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA(Voiceover): Oh yeah Fan4Stic! A movie so horrendous in it execution that it surprised me that it lasted as long as it did in the theaters and it reminded me of one thing I never thought possible but for me is true!. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: That the version made a decade earlier and it's sequel starring a cardboard cutout of an actress, Vic Mackey from The Shield, The man who would be Captain America in the MCU and the guy who was in the sequel to the Live Action 101 Dalmatians movie was actually the best out of all the attempts of bringing The Fantastic Four to the big screen! (Cut to clips of the 2005 Fantastic Four Movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Now let me make this clear, I am NOT a fan of these movies by any means. Julian McMahon just was so smug and arrogant I couldn't tell if it was Cole from "Charmed" or Dr. Christian Troy from "Nip/Tuck" playing Victor Von Doom and yes, I know Victor Von Doom has an arrogance streak a mile long and rightfully so as the rightful ruler of Latveria but good night Julian do you have any other emotion except arrogantly charming? and lest we forget the foursome themselves. Jessica Alba has as much charisma as a plank of plywood, Chris Evans annoyed the ever living DAYLIGHTS out of me as Sue's Brother Johnny Storm and by sheer luck Ioan Gruffudd and Michael Chiklis was the only decent casting and that's because they actually got the characters. Ioan got the overworked scientist aspect of Reed Richards and Michael Chiklis was actually spot on as Ben Grimm getting both the humanity and the tragedy of the character and I really liked the aspect of Chiklis' portrayal of the character. You can really tell how well because of the special Make-Up Appliances!

That's right, this blended CGI Effects and Practical Effects to make everything look as real as a movie involving a guy who becomes a massive mound of rock or a guy being able to stop a Mack Truck by it hitting it with a shoulder, you cannot Photoshop it and make it look real! While I know some CGI was used and you could tell with the likes of The Silver Surfer or when Sue Storm becomes invisible or when Johnny Storm lights up like the sun! But in all honesty the CGI is as impressive as the practical effects but what hurts the story is the loosey goosey with the origin. How friggin hard is it to get it? Two Scientists, An Astronaut and a young hotshot go out to space, get hit by cosmic forces and come home physically changed and the four become accidental heroes and celebrities and that's not even getting into how the 2005 movie botched Doctor Doom's Origin! Here's a hint it involved Science scarring him or how they royally screwed up Galactus in the 2007 sequel "Rise Of The Silver Surfer" which in comparison is just as bad especially with what they do with the foursome! But at least in "Rise Of The Silver Surfer" they did try to develop Johnny's character a little bit more and it showed the friendship between Ben and Johnny had grown and made the logical continuation in the relationship between Reed and Sue.  (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: But with all the things I said about these movies good and bad, I can't hate these movies thoroughly because there was something uniquely opposite to Fan4Stic and that being, a sense of fun in those two movies. (Cut to clips of the movies as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): And I think that is part of the problems I've been having with the MCU and DCEU a lack of fun in these movies as of late. While "Wonder Woman" had some fun and some moments that made me remember why I loved DC Heroes, I don't see that in the main MCU anymore unless it's to make Captain America look like a joke of a hero WHICH HE IS NOT or Iron Man still thinking he's the Alpha Hero in the MCU which by the by Stark, YOU ARE NOT! I actually find the only fun the MCU is having is with "Guardians Of The Galaxy" and sadly "Guardians Of The Galaxy" is only one small fracture in the MCU. Ever since "Captain America: Civil War" everything involving The Avengers and the MCU has been left asunder. The only hope is that the Russo Brothers who are filming the next two "Avengers" movies have a sense of fun and it fixes everything in the MCU that I think is wrong. Whether it's the fact that the movies have now made it a crime to be a big superhero or destroying the Status Quo of the past. Maybe the MCU needs a sense of fun. Maybe it needs The Fantastic Four to get things more lighthearted and get it back to a more of a sense of enjoyment, back during the first stage of the MCU. If 20th Century Fox and Marvel can get their act together then maybe the MCU can be fun again. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That's My Opinion.

Monday, July 3, 2017

The "Wonder" of the DCEU

(A Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with the American flag design on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Tan Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James stocking up on his arsenal from the Classic Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers Morpher, a bandoleer stocked up with Sonic Screwdrivers, Ammunition for a 303 British Rifle and said rifle, The Ring Of Aeon, The Gem From the Gauntlet Malachite’s Hand, Emmalina’s amulet and the Sword Of Caliverti from 0:08-0:15 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators. 0:15-0:29 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run shows James leaping and running through moments from the 2016 calendar year of his reviews ranging from James morphing into his new suit for the first time, James getting slapped by Paulo, Mr. B Natural pop jump cutting into frame as James grabs Rowdy & The Nostalgia Kid as they scream in terror, Traci Hines shooting the Double Barreled handgun, Everyone trying to stop Eliza Dushku from using her switchblade knife on an unconscious Spoony,  James blast jumps and Eliza rolls out of the way as an electrical pulse knocks out everyone else before cutting to the clip of The Moviebusters pulling out their Proton Pack blasters until the 0:30 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows the team line-up of the majority of 2015 walking towards the screen as the camera rises over to see the American Flag and James’ signal in the sky as before cutting to James as he jumps and pulls out a sonic screwdriver before cutting over to a slab of titanium where lasers cut out “The Last Of The Americans” until 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run when James lands on top of the slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, Andrew Beach, John Santos & Eric Kurtzke on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Ed Champion, Olivia Horvath, Renee Miller and Mike Santos on his left doing their own heroic poses on a black background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James in his Office)

TLOTA: I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and The Views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. It is time once again to bend the rules as I talk about yet ANOTHER movie in theaters as we speak! (Cut to the “Wonder Woman” 2017 logo and a sound alike to the 1970’s Wonder Woman TV series plays in the background before cutting to recreated clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): While “Superman: Man Of Steel”, “Superman v Batman: Dawn Of Justice” were two strikes towards the DCEU and “Suicide Squad” more like a foul ball. This movie makes up for all of that, in one fell stroke. This movie revived my hope that the DCEU can succeed! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: So, let’s get into “Wonder Woman” and see why that is. (Cut to recreated clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): The movie begins in Themyscira as we see Diana, Princess of Themyscira once again played by Gal Gadot growing up and being trained by her Aunt Antiope played by Robin Wright against the wishes of Diana’s mother Queen Hippolyta played by Connie Nielson. But one day A plane carrying Steve Trevor played by Chris Pine crashes onto the shores of Themyscira and unfortunately brings in the soldiers of the Kaiser to the shores of Themyscira. (A battle ensues between the soldiers, The Amazons with Steve Trevor fighting for The Amazons as Lightning strikes the Island as The Blockbuster Buster lands and all hell breaks loose as he goes after everything from the Amazons, Diana, Steve, and the soldiers of the Kaiser before cutting to James in his office.)

TLOTA: WHAT IN THE NAME OF ZEUS’ BUTTHOLE ARE YOU DOING HERE E-ROD?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE WITH THE DCEU ONCE AND FOR ALL! (Cut to the recreated clips of the movie with The Blockbuster Buster in there)


The Blockbuster Buster: A Fair question my Queen allow me to introduce myself. Greetings Fanboys and Fangirls I’m E-Rod and I’m The Blockbuster Buster and I am about to do what Warner Brothers and DC Comics won’t do because they love money more than the fans, scrap this entire universe and reboot it the right way. No Superman snapping Zod’s Neck, no whiny douches crying “MARTHA!”, no Suicide Squad, not even this movie will happen! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: Look E-Rod I understand WHY you are done with the DCEU but to go so far as take down the best movie of the year which was directed by the same director as “Monster” all because it’s in a movie universe you don’t want to succeed and blacklisted, Isn’t this a little too much? Even for you? (Cut to the recreated clips of the movie with The Blockbuster Buster in there)

The Blockbuster Buster: You may have a point but right now, as much as DC means to me and as much as it pains me to do this, the rage of the fans being unleashed on bad movies must be done! The DCEU must die! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: You’re going over the line and now it’s time for me to join the fray! (Cut to James as he goes to the vault behind ORAC’s Chamber and grabs a vortex manipulator and sets the coordinates to the movie and lands in the movie.)


The Blockbuster Buster: I’d rather have every single theater play the MCU for all eternity than let one more movie from this dark and desaturated universe.

TLOTA: Look around before you pre-judge a book by its cover Blockbuster Buster. There’s color, there’s beauty in more ways than one there’s vibrancy where is it in the MCU now? That universe is so shattered yet you’ll keep giving it money to basically criminalize heroism? (The Blockbuster Buster looks around and sees the color and vibrancy James sees)

The Blockbuster Buster: I want to see what you’re seeing but Zack Snyder destroyed my desire in this!

“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): And you two are destroying the pacing of the movie.

The Blockbuster Buster: What pacing?

TLOTA: Excuse my associate! (James gives The Blockbuster Buster a wedgie and drags him towards a rock as the battle resumes off screen as James looks and The Blockbuster Buster doesn’t care)

TLOTA: Now to this movie’s credit I like the movie being set World War I instead of World War II which was a smart move on DC’s part. It subverts the “World War II was the Start of the Superheroes” trope and if E-Rod watched this movie instead of being an obstinate Jack-Ass in never seeing another DCEU movie he might be enjoying this as much as I am!

Blockbuster Buster: You know if I gave a flying frog’s fart about this movie, I’d say that this would be an interesting twist on the origin story. (Cut to images of the first Comic Book appearance of “Wonder Woman” as The Blockbuster Buster and James do a voiceover)

Blockbuster Buster (Voiceover): As everyone knows that the character originated in Second World War, as a matter of fact every well-known TRUE DC and Marvel Superhero started out in the Second World War.

TLOTA (Voiceover): Well believe it or not I like this change it eschews the overused Second World War and focuses it on the First War that sent everyone in the World straight to hell! (Cut back to the recreated movie as A WWI German Soldier played by Andrew Beach is seen coming their way as James ducks and lands on The Blockbuster Buster. The Soldier gets up as James superkicks The WWI German Soldier) Heads up there, E-Rod! (Cut to later in the movie as Steve Trevor is being interrogated by the Amazons and James and The Blockbuster Buster talk about the movie they’re in.)

TLOTA: After that awesome moment, we discover what Steve’s mission statement is.

Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): I am a Spy for the good guys to stop the bad guys from taking over the world in this the World War! I have vital information to end the War before more innocent Women, Children and Men die. (Cut to later in the recreated movie as James and The Blockbuster Buster talk about the movie they’re in.)

TLOTA: Apparently, he found a book of a chemical composition of a deadlier version of Mustard Gas made by a Dr. Poison played by Elena Anaya and he must return to the world of man to give the book to his superiors! After a brief conversation Hippolyta decides that the best course of Action is not to react.

Hippolyta (Played by Olivia Horvath): It is far too dangerous for us to be involved in Man’s World War!

“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): And what are we to do with this Steve Trevor?

Amazonian #1 (Played by Renee Miller): I say we castrate him with our dullest weapon, tie him up to a column and beat on him with his own innards! (Others including James and The Blockbuster Buster looking on in Horror at the thought before cutting back to the Amazonian) Is something wrong my Queen?

Hippolyta (Played by Olivia Horvath): It was far too quick and violent a suggestion!

Amazonian #1 (Played by Renee Miller): Just the first thought given to me in my head, that was all my Queen! (Cut to The Blockbuster Buster and James)

TLOTA: Shut up E-Rod! However, Diana believes who maybe the cause of this war.

“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Mother, I believe this war is the work of Ares, If I were to go, I could stop him with the Godslayer and bring peace to the World.

Hippolyta (Played by Olivia Horvath): No, as much as bringing peace to Man’s World and ending Ares would do good, I cannot allow you to go and as for this Steve Trevor his fate shall be dealt with later.

(Cut to later in the recreated movie as James and The Blockbuster Buster talk about the movie they’re in.)

TLOTA: Worried that if Ares isn’t dealt with quickly, Diana chooses to defy her mother.

“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Steve Trevor, go down to the docks not too far from where I found you.

Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): What are you to do?

“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): I must prepare for the end of Ares if he is who you say he is. (Cut to Diana grabbing her shield, The Godslayer and her “Wonder Woman” outfit before reaching the Docks as James, The Blockbuster Buster and Steve Trevor wait in the boat.)

TLOTA: Just as Diana nearly got away with getting Steve out of Themyscira without hesitation. (Audio of Horses Neigh) Right on Cue! Oh, Hai Hippolyta! (An arrow zings James micrometers away from James’ waving hand and James gasps and The Blockbuster Buster’s hair gets center parting!)

Amazonian #1 (Played by Renee Miller): First shot was the warning! Speak and act so pertinent to The Queen Of The Amazons again and I guarantee I shall not miss! AM I TO BE UNDERSTOOD?! (Cut to James, Steve and The Blockbuster Buster as they cover up their private parts)

TLOTA, The Blockbuster Buster & Steve Trevor (In Unison): OF COURSE, WE UNDERSTAND MA’AM! (Cut to Diana and Hippolyta.)

“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Mother I know of the consequences of doing this but it is what you would do were you in my place.

Hippolyta (Played by Olivia Horvath): I also know that if you leave Themyscira, you can never return. But seeing as you are packed and ready to go I wish the best for you in your journey in Man’s world and carry this with you, it belonged to Antiope one of the greatest Amazons I’ve ever known. The greatest being you my daughter!

“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Goodbye Mother.

(The Boat leaves the Dock as it cuts to the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it act as the commercial break intro and return to the reenacted scenes of the movie while James and The Blockbuster Buster talk about the movie they’re in)

TLOTA: On the boat ride to England Steve discovers a little too much for his own good about Diana’s origin.

“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): I was made from Clay that my mother found and I was brought to life by Zeus himself.

Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): So, you have no idea about….

“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): When it comes to procreation, men are essential, but for pleasure, not necessary.

Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): Okay then, well let’s get some sleep.

“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): But who will steer the ship?

Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): We’ll let the two Vaudevillians steer us for a while. (Cut to James and The Blockbuster Buster)

TLOTA: He means us, ROCKET!

The Blockbuster Buster: Well then…. (The Blockbuster Buster pulls out “Lucille”) Time to sink the ship! (James pulls out a Sonic Screwdriver)

TLOTA: Delta Level Defense! (The Blockbuster Buster gets knocked unconscious and James steers the ship before cutting to when the group reaches London)

TLOTA: They finally arrive in London and Steve meets up with Etta Candy played by Lucy Davis and they decide to help Diana survive Jolly London Town incognito.

“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): How does one fight in such clothing?

Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): The short version, they don’t.

TLOTA: And as much as it pains you Blockbuster Buster, I give the writers, director and actress Gal Gadot the credit for making this moment entertaining because under the wrong circumstances this could’ve been very bad comedy but she eventually does find herself donning a disguise and they get the book to the Allied Forces and Diana helps translate the book. It does seem to make sense in the case of Gal Gadot and again she pulls off Wonder Woman PERFECTLY!

The Blockbuster Buster: Oh really, how could she?

TLOTA: She served in the Israeli Defense Forces! (Cut to stills of Gal Gadot in “Fast & Furious” movies and her two recent outings as Wonder Woman as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): And when you think about it, you need to have Army Discipline when you do these movies and Gal Gadot had that and used it when she was in the “Fast And Furious” movies and she also was able to show in the role of Gisele she had the ability to act! So, when they came to her with the role of Diana Prince AKA Wonder Woman, it literally was a no brainer for them to bring her on. (Cut to James and The Blockbuster Buster as James forces The Blockbuster Buster to walk alongside Diana and Steve walk through London.)

TLOTA: Besides there have been very few interpretations that were bad so it is nearly impossible to screw it up! (Cut to Stills of past performers of “Wonder Woman” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Of course, the Lynda Carter version IS the most recognizable and iconic for a reason, she embodied all the positive aspects of the Character of Wonder Woman. But just as great as Lynda Carter’s version should be the ones from “The Super Friends” series and of course Susan Eisenberg from the DC Bruce Timm animated universe in Justice League and Justice League Unlimited as well as her performances in the DCAU films. Even Xena actress Lucy Lawless was amazing in the DCAU film “Justice League: The New Frontier” and Keri Russell in the 2009 standalone Wonder Woman animated movie was incredible because they got the character. I can think of very few instances in which the Character was given a disservice like when Adrienne Palicki’s pilot was not even done and they scrapped it before they even gave it a chance or even the Cathy Lee Crosby made for TV movie done in 1974 those are the few times I felt the character was given any sort of disservice. (Cut to the recreated movie as James and The Blockbuster Buster talk about the movie they’re in.)

TLOTA: At any rate after Steve gives the info to his superiors, Diana and Steve rallies a team of people like Steve to help Diana get to the front and stop Ludendorff and Dr. Poison.

Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): So, what do you say? Will you assist me and my associate Diana on getting her to the front to help end the War?

Sameer (Played by John Ross Santos): Absolutely!

Charlie (Played by Ed Champion): Aye, I’ll help you and the lass out fella!

Chief (Played by Paulo Fonseca): I will help you too, Kemosabe!

TLOTA: We’re with you too!

The Blockbuster Buster: The Hell I am! (James knocks out The Blockbuster Buster)

TLOTA: Like I said! We’re in! (Cut to later in the recreated movie as The Blockbuster Buster wakes up in the Trenches in the Village of Veld along with everyone else)



“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): I AM AN AMAZON! WHO SAID I WAS A MAN?!

TLOTA (Shouting over the shots and explosions): I’M COMING WITH YOU! SO IS HE!

The Blockbuster Buster (Shouting over the shots and explosions): OH REALLY, I’M SAYING THIS RIGHT NOW! NO! WAY! IN! HELL!

TLOTA (Shouting over the shots and explosions): THEN YOU CAN STAY HERE AND BE A COWARD OR YOU CAN GO OUT THERE AND HERO UP! (The Blockbuster Buster thinks for two seconds as Wonder Woman climbs up the ladder before cutting to the outside of the trench as a beam of light is seen before cutting to the enemy trenches and them looking on in wonder as Wonder Woman climbs out and a being of light jumps out of the trench and joins her which becomes James Faraci The Last Of The Americans in his Battle mode and The Blockbuster Buster flies out of the trench as well, the German Colonel played by Andrew Beach shouts “OPEN FIRE” in German and they open fire as Wonder Woman deflects the bullets and James deflects them with the Sword Of Caliverti and The Blockbuster Buster uses the lightning from the hammer to attack as the German soldiers continue their offensive as in the background as 2:36-2:58 of “American Bad Ass” by Kid Rock plays before the audio cuts to the first lyrics and first chorus then the final chorus of “American Bad Ass” by Kid Rock plays as the three go on the attack using their arsenal before the troops in the trenches move forward heroically ending with James using his 303 Lee Enfield British Rifle to shoot several The German soldiers then using his sword to Blockbuster Buster’s hammer attack on him and redirect it through the Enemy Trenches before cutting to The Blockbuster Buster grabbing the Hammer in the Village of Veld after the sniper in the Church is sent hurdling through the sky)

The Blockbuster Buster: Busted!

(Cut to later in the recreated movie as James and The Blockbuster Buster talk about the movie they’re in.)

TLOTA: After the Village of Veld is saved by Wonder Woman and her team, a photo-op occurs that leads to the photo that is in the prologue before the first act and is the reason why the movie begins in the first place! Smile Blockbuster Buster!

The Blockbuster Buster: NEVER! (James clenches his fist!) Okay! I’ll smile! (Cut to the photo as The Blockbuster Buster flips James off as he’s forced to smile in the photo and James holding up the Peace sign before cutting to later in the recreated movie as James and The Blockbuster Buster talk about the movie.)

TLOTA: That night, Diana and Steve enjoy a tender moment in which they dance.

“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): This is not dancing, this is simply swaying to the music as a matter of fact Blockbuster Buster hand me your phone!

The Blockbuster Buster: Fine! But I better get it back! (The Blockbuster Buster gives Diana his smartphone and discovers a video for the Blockbuster Buster to enjoy.) Wow James, is that you getting down to “Uptown Funk”?

TLOTA: Yep that is from my sister’s wedding and I am not ashamed of how I can bust a move!

The Blockbuster Buster: HOLY MOLY CANOLI! You are a dancing fool! Emphasis on the FOOL! (Steve Trevor clocks The Blockbuster Buster with the butt of the gun before cutting to later in the recreated movie as James and The Blockbuster Buster talk about the movie)

TLOTA: Sometime later Diana looking rather ravishing believes that General Ludendorff played by Danny Huston is in fact Ares and he has to be finished and trust me he’s already been through enough he was the a-hole who gave Wolverine his Adamantium.

The Blockbuster Buster: What are you talking about?

TLOTA: A reference to the actor who plays Ludendorff, never mind that we get this moment between Diana and Steve.

Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): Okay, are you sure that Ludendorff is Ares?

“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Do you doubt my judgement?

Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): No, I don’t doubt your judgement, I just want to make sure all the ducks are in a row, because he’s the link to finding the chemical lab and stopping Dr. Poison.

“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Oh great, Ares got away from me thanks to you.

 Steve Trevor (Played by Nick Yaun): Well maybe he’s not Ares. (A loud explosion is heard and felt before cutting to James and The Blockbuster Buster)

The Blockbuster Buster: What in the Wide World Of Sports was that?

TLOTA: The lethal weapon made by Dr. Poison and Ludendorff. Wiped the entire village of Veld right off the map! (Cut to Diana and Steve on the outskirts of the Village of Veld)

“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): I could’ve stopped him! Why did you not let me stop him? I see in you the same thing in the German Soldiers. I must go alone from this moment forward. (Cut to later in the recreated movie as James and The Blockbuster Buster talk about the movie)

TLOTA: Diana eventually gets to General Ludendorff and… (The Sound of the Godkiller going through human flesh and metal before we see parallels between Wonder Woman and the real Ares played by Eric Kurtzke in Suit and between James and The Blockbuster Buster.)

The Blockbuster Buster: Well that settles this movie is garbage, The DCEU is permanently blacklisted and I must now destroy everything about The DCEU to give it the proper reboot.

TLOTA: Okay, I’ve had it, alright I admit it that yes, the DCEU started out in a rough patch, When Superman snapped Zod’s neck, I was surprised but it gave Zod the ultimate win. Does it mean Superman is a cold-blooded killer? Hell no! Should Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice and Suicide Squad not have been released? You bet your tiny little kiester! Should you give the DCEU one more break OH HELL YES!

The Blockbuster Buster: You Idiotic Italian Imbecile, you need someone to set your brains to the real world the DCEU is a failure it needs to be destroyed and rebooted. Screw the money Warner Brothers and DC would lose, I want the DC Movies to be better than this crap and the fact that you would defend this garbage should force me to revoke your status as an Internet Reviewer.

TLOTA: Coming from someone who constantly reviews Michael Bay’s Transformers movies you don’t have a leg to stand on! Because guess what, saying that The Transformers movies stink and no one should ever watch these movies because you don’t like them is something I can get behind, but guess what Estúpido, people are still going and knowing that they’re going to watch because you don’t like the movies but you haven’t blacklisted The Transformers movies because…. Yeah, I thought so no comeback on that one. Why don’t you review The Last Knight so the idiots can waste their money on the same rehashed film instead of giving something different a chance like say this movie. No wonder the Legion Of Bad-Assitude is turning its back on you! (The Blockbuster Buster smacks James out of frame as Ares sends Wonder Woman flying out of frame.)

The Blockbuster Buster: TAKE IT BACK OR I WILL BUST YOU! (Wonder Woman and James come back into frame and say “BRING IT ON!” as both groups fight and an instrumental of the Megas XLR main theme is playing in the foreground and James hold off all the attacks from The Blockbuster Buster and Diana is barely holding her own against Ares! The Blockbuster Buster tries to use the Lightning to electrocute James but he uses Aeon’s ring to deflect the power and uses it to strengthen Wonder Woman as she goes up against Ares with both couples being knocked down. James starts to get up a little winded and pops his left arm back into place and howls like an ape as The Blockbuster Buster gets up as well.)

The Blockbuster Buster (Exhausted and slurred): Why… Why the hell are you still fighting? Fighting for the DCEU is a losing battle.

TLOTA (Exhausted and slurred): It’s not over until it’s over!

The Blockbuster Buster (Exhausted and slurred): It was over by Batman V Superman Dawn of the cluster dumb.

TLOTA (Exhausted and slurred): I’ll admit it, it wasn’t the best movie I ever saw but there was some good in it. I still think there is hope for the DCEU. While there’s life there’s hope.

The Blockbuster Buster (Exhausted and slurred): Listen to me The DCEU is done let it die already!

TLOTA (Exhausted and slurred): That doesn’t sound like The Blockbuster Buster, it sounds like the DCEU’s audience.

The Blockbuster Buster (Exhausted and slurred): I must have hit you a little too hard! You’re not making sense

TLOTA (Exhausted and Slurred): Allow me to show you! (James pulls out the Sword of Caliverti) Sword of Caliverti show The Blockbuster Buster the darkness inside him! Give him sight… beyond… sight! (The Blockbuster Buster’s eyes turn white as he sees his complaining about the DCEU and slowly seeing him devolve into a Troll with every complaint and comment as the music for Thundercats “Sight Beyond Sight” plays throughout before returning to the recreated movie)

The Blockbuster Buster: Oh god, is that inside me?

TLOTA: It’s in all of us! It’s how we control what is inside that either makes us to do better or be completely miserable creatures on the internet. So, what do you say, we help Wonder Woman stop Ares together. (James extends his hand before cutting to The Blockbuster Buster)

The Blockbuster Buster: Together! (The two shake hands and the final notes in the “Justice League Unlimited” theme plays as the two join Diana as Ares continues to fight her. James hits Ares with the combined power of his four artifacts and it barely fazes The God of War. The Blockbuster Buster throws Lucille with every ounce of power he has dropping the God of War like a bad habit in the process knocking the helmet off Ares but shattering the head of the Hammer in the process.)

The Blockbuster Buster: My Hammer, it’s destroyed! Okay Ares prepare to… (The Blockbuster Buster turn see the face of Ares is the same as his!) Lazarus Dark, I thought you were gone for good. (Ares chuckles evilly)

Ares (Vocally by James in his lowest tone): You fool, I am you fully realized! I am the true Blockbuster Buster and I shall show you the truth! (Ares grabs both The Blockbuster Buster and Wonder Woman and shows them the ideal worlds they want.)

Ares (voiceover done vocally by James in his lowest tone): Behold what man is capable of! But what can happen if you give yourselves to me! Peace amongst the peoples of the world, movies with characters from Marvel succeeding in the movies and DC in the Television, no more fear of death, no more worry of limits, all shall be good! (Cut to James as he gets through the protective shielding and knocks Ares away with the powers of the artifacts and James deciding on who to save first as it looks like The Blockbuster Buster and Wonder Woman are turning black and dying with James deciding to save Wonder Woman first as he mind melds with Wonder Woman as it cuts to Diana’s fantasy world)

TLOTA (Echoing audio only): Diana…. Diana…. Diana, I am going to show you the truth… the truth… the truth hidden in the lies... the lies… the lies… the lies. (The fantasy fades to reality to when Steve and Diana were together for the last time and they say their lines in silence and as he sacrifices himself and Diana shouts silently “STEVE” before she nearly kills Dr. Poison played by Brenda Fonseca by dropping a tank onto Dr. Poison.)

TLOTA (Echoing audio only): He died believing in you… in you… in you! You must not let his death be in vain… in vain… in vain.  Fight the lies with the love you believe in… believe in… believe in. The love Steve believed in is in you Diana… Diana… Diana. Don’t let the lies kill that love… that love… that love. (Cut back to James and Diana as she is revived as the two scrambles to get to The Blockbuster Buster as he mumbles out loud about what he’s seeing)

“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Your friend, Is he? (James pulls out his Tri-corder)

TLOTA: He’s fading. I can save him. Save the world with the love inside you and the love Steve had for you.

“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): Thank you, my friend! (Wonder Woman runs out of frame as James mind melds as it cuts to James in The Blockbuster Buster’s fantasy world)

TLOTA (Echoing audio only): E-Rod…. E-Rod…. E-Rod, I am going to show you the truth… the truth… the truth hidden in the lies... the lies… the lies… the lies. (Cut to the inside of the Multiplex The Blockbuster Buster is standing inside of his fantasy world before zooming into a theater in the Multiplex as we see a couple played by Paulo and Brenda Fonseca disgusted by Captain America: Civil War.)

Joel (played by Paulo Fonseca): This is Garbage! I enjoyed “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” more than I did this.

Mary (played by Brenda Fonseca): And didn’t you dislike that and “X-Men: Apocalypse”?

Joel (played by Paulo Fonseca): Yeah, but I’m avoiding “The Avengers” movies because I know it’s bad. I hope DC can finally return to the big screens. (The Camera moves away from the Couple watching “Captain America: Civil War” to a couple in another theater watching “Spider-Man 3” played by Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun)

Mike (Played by Nick Yaun): God this is so dumb!

Bridget (Played by Rebecca Yaun): I know, I’d KILL just to see Superman taking on Zod again or hell see if DC can keep up with Marvel and their Cinematic universe. (The Camera moves away from the Couple watching “Spider-Man 3” to a group of friends in another theater in the lower level watching “Elektra” played by John Santos, Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath, Ed Champion and Andrew Beach)

Kevin (Played by John Santos): This movie sucks!!

Bill (Played by Mike Santos): Yeah, I would kill for a real superheroine movie.

Frank (Played by Eric Kurtzke): Even Wonder Woman would be better than this awful movie

Kinga (Played by Renee Miller): She could be done well

Synthia (Played by Olivia Horvath): I know it’ll be better than this dreck and it will be much more entertaining.

Trace (Played by Ed Champion): We need something that must be better.

Jonah (Played by Andrew Beach): We all hope that way! (The Camera moves away frenetically moving along the Theater in the lobbies as “A Good Man” by Murray Gold from 1:08-3:21 plays in the foreground.)

The Blockbuster Buster (Audio only): I see inside your head! I know how you think James! I see people tired of the bland and overdone! I see the want for something better with what is there! I see not the rage but something stronger than fanboy rage! I see the truest forces of good in any fandom there is. Faith, Love and… (A Bright light shines before cutting back to the two as The Blockbuster Buster opens his eyes)

The Blockbuster Buster: Hope! (James reaches out his hand to The Blockbuster Buster and The Blockbuster Buster reciprocates as James picks him up. The Blockbuster Buster reaches out as the Handle to his hammer comes to him then he does his Hammer twirling before seeing the head of the hammer is reformed!) Thank you, James! You restored hope to me! Now let’s use hope, faith and love of the fandoms and vanquish that dark demonic deity once and for all! (James and The Blockbuster Buster Smiles happily before the music cuts to “The Majestic Tale (of An Idiot With a Box)” by Murray Gold as the Two join in Diana as they take on Ares attacking with everything they have inside as the power of the Hope in The Blockbuster Buster supercharges his blasts to Ares shattering his armor into oblivion with Lucille, the power of Faith in James Faraci The Last Of The Americans as he uses the combined forces of the Artifacts to weaken Ares as he takes on the face and body of Zack Snyder played by Paulo Fonseca and Love inside Wonder Woman as she sends one of Ares’ lightning bolts back onto him before cutting to James and The Blockbuster Buster as they combine their strengths inside and channel it into Wonder Woman)

Ares (Vocally by James in his lowest tone): WHAT IS HAPPENING?!



“Wonder Woman” (Played by Rebecca Yaun): AND THOUGH THE POWER OF LOVE INSIDE OF ME, I DIANA OF THEMYSCIRA DAUGHTER OF HIPPOLYTA VANQUISH YOU ARES TO THE DEPTHS OF HADES FROM WHENCE YOU CAME! FARETHEEWELL MY BROTHER! (Diana clashes her bracelets together and disintegrates Ares down on a sub-sub-sub atomic level as Ares shouts “NO!” and a flash of light is seen before cutting to James and The Blockbuster Buster in James’ Studio.)

The Blockbuster Buster: So where are we in the movie now?

TLOTA: We’re not, we’re back in my Studio.

The Blockbuster Buster: Huh, not a bad place.  Why haven’t I been here before?

TLOTA: You were in your Blockbuster Buster sleep for my annual Christmas Party or however you do what you do now when you take a break. Look I know I can’t convince you to give The DCEU the last chance I’m giving it because it deserves it and Wonder Woman gave me the chance to believe in the hope that the DCEU can be salvaged! (Cut to recreated clips of “Wonder Woman” and stills of the other DCEU as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): And for many I understand why they think the DCEU is beyond salvation but me personally, if you forget Suicide Squad, Man Of Steel & Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice happened and give this one a watch, you’ll see why. The story is amazing, the acting is incredibly on point, the action is fifty times better than anything Michael Bay could do at his worst, the directing is amazing and there is something that nearly makes me believe the DCEU is watchable. That’s a miracle in itself. As a standalone movie it truly, truly works. As the last hope of the DCEU, it does its job right enough to do so. If this review gives some poor guy who has had it with comic book movies the ability to enjoy the DCEU and they feel it deserves that one last chance then I strongly suggest you go for it and see this movie for yourself. See it in the theaters, get it on Blu-Ray, DVD, and Digital HD Download and finally see the Spark of hope being kindled in the DCEU at last. (Cut to James and the Blockbuster Buster in James’ office)

The Blockbuster Buster: I see where you are coming from James. But I cannot and shall not take it off the blacklist they disappointed me one too many times!

TLOTA: Okay, E-Rod, how about this, let the fanboys and fangirls decide whether you should see it or not and if you see it and enjoy it. Will you finally relent into taking the DCEU OFF your blacklist?

The Blockbuster Buster: Maybe. But until next time I’m E-Rod and I’m The Blockbuster Buster! Allons-Y! (The Blockbuster Buster snaps his fingers and flies into James’ DVD collection and “The Three Stooges” movie from 2012 movie and it smacks into James and he grabs it off the floor.)

TLOTA: Hmm, I might get a good review out of this pile of crap that bears the name of the Comedic Icons. I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That’s my opinion!

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Just Add Water: My Mako Adventure: H2O Just Add Water Season 2 part 2

(Scene begins with the Opening of "Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble" then cutting to clips of the remainder of the season as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): In the aftermath of the ending of "And Then There Were Four", Cleo discovers Charlotte has become a mermaid in the next episode "Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble" and in a surprising move Rikki, Emma & Cleo decide to bury the hatchet with Charlotte and decide to welcome her with open arms as they try to discover what Charlotte's powers could be. By the end of the episode she discovers she has the powers of all three of the other mermaids combined. Afterwards things go south, AGAIN! In the episodes after that, Charlotte has become mad with power and slightly cuckoo for cocoa puffs to control Lewis and nearly exposes ALL of them. Things come to a head in the second to final episode "Sea Change".

The friendship between Charlotte and the other three is OVER! And Lewis has had enough of Charlotte as well, he breaks up with Charlotte once and for all and just in time to save Cleo from a pack of sharks that looked at her and thought "YUM! DINNER TIME!" and reunites with Lewis romantically. Yeah there's something I need to talk about, the romances on the show can become tedious! Lewis and Cleo's back and forth romantic relationship was somewhere in the range of "Dave & Maddie, We love each other, I want to tear out the throat of the other one" in "Moonlighting" to the insufferable decade long back and forth of "Ross & Rachel" in "FRIENDS", the relationship between Zane and Rikki is handled a lot differently but is near Lewis and Cleo levels of insufferable. While yeah in season one Zane was an ass and a Douche through and through there was some glimmer of a good person when he helped the three escape Dr. Denham's capture but he does pull a few doozies one including pissing off Rikki's dad, smart move there Rocket Skyentist REAL GOOD USE OF THE KIDNEYS! I mean in comparison, The relationship that is being built up this season seems SANE in comparison and that relationship is between Emma and a secondary character named Ash. (Cut to the clip of Ash from Evil Dead II as he makes his chainsaw hand and says "GROOVY!") NOT THAT ASH! (Cut to a clip of Pokémon as Ash summons Pikachu!) Even her standards aren't that low! (Cut back to H20: Just Add Water Season 2 as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): I WISH the Ash in this series was as cool as the first and a little less like the latter, no this Ash is different he runs a horse ranch and over the span of this season he becomes Emma's love interest he allowed Emma to open up emotionally. It gave her something to her outside of being a mermaid and working at the juice bar they had. Yeah, they had a friggin' juice bar, seriously I know Power Rangers is as of this post STILL being produced in the same area around Australia and New Zealand but even I think that's just a stupid concept  to replicate it into your series or maybe it's a huge coincidence. But I digress, the season comes to an end with the episode "Unfathomable". A rare moon and planetary alignment that happens to occur every fifty years would strip a mermaid of her tail and powers is upon them soon. While barely trying to pretend to be nice Rikki, Emma and Cleo try to warn Charlotte but it falls on deaf ears and a mind set to do something evil to do with the three. Finally having all they could stand Cleo, Emma and Rikki finally confront Charlotte on Mako Island, the night of the moon and planetary alignment in which a mermaid will lose her tail and powers and with the odds stacked against Charlotte she... loses. The next day Lewis reclaims Cleo's locket and Emma decides to reveal she is a mermaid to Ash and his reaction says it all, "Groovy!" (Cut to ending of "Unfathomable" before fading to black and then to clips of season two as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Season two raised the bar but holy moly cannoli did they pull out some whoppers, they really did a lot to Rikki, Emma and Cleo and in turn Rikki, Emma and Cleo were out to do some damage to the people around them. For example in an episode Zane and Lewis want to get back on the mermaids' good side and decide to splash themselves with Ambergris! Ambergris comes from Whale Poop! They did something so stupid it backfired and nearly caused the three to expose themselves to a guy who does the same thing and had it not been for Zane and Lewis' intervention the situation would've been worse. Then there's the stuff that Cleo did, I mean she could be vicious especially to Charlotte and Charlotte in turn didn't exactly turn me on. There were few times she was a decent character but most of the time she could be as vicious as the others. Emma on the other hand from the first season to this one showed behind her "Stick In The Mud" personality there was something unique and I guess she had that personality because she had ambitions to be an Olympian swimmer but when she got the tail and powers she found herself stuck. Either embrace what she had become or become stale. Fortunately she had Rikki and Cleo to help her embrace what was inside and when she hooked up with Ash who sadly had NO personality this season she was able to allow herself to be as close to human as she could. Now you're probably wondering why I'm talking about these characters in this. Well sadly because after this season, we say goodbye to them and I understand why we'll be saying goodbye to Charlotte because after getting the daylights knocked out of her, she'd be crazy to continue go up against three mermaids and as much as she got knocked, she became the villain of the season... because the writers needed someone! But this is how they wrote it. Which means it is time once again for....

(Cut to a black background and the words "HOW I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN IT!" in neon as James' voice echoes those words before hearing stock Game Show Music as clips of the season play in the background and James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): While the season premiere would've happened exactly the way it did, The Guardian would've had some say and we would've been introduced to The Guardian's sanctuary while yes it is TARDIS like, it wouldn't be going into time and space. Though from the outside it'd look like a boat with an interior cabin, after stepping inside it looks more advanced yet filled with ancient scrolls, artifacts and paintings. When he hears the three went into the moon pool the night before and the effects from what they describe what happened, he remembered something happening centuries ago. A prophecy was made "Three would awaken the pool after it had fallen dormant over time after their powers would advance. One would join and soon after one would be gone and the return will occur soon after." Rikki, Emma, Cleo & Lewis take it as a prophecy of demise and would do everything to prevent the end of one of them while The Guardian would use the prophecy to help train Rikki, Emma and Cleo with the advancement of their powers.

The Guardian would've been the most helpful in the episode "Fish Fever" coming up with the antidote after Rikki & Cleo told him what had happened in the episode The Guardian would've also bonded with Lewis as The Guardian tries to understand modern chemistry and Lewis would learn old school alchemy and be the highlight of the episode as much as what would be happening to Cleo's Fish and Emma. In the meanwhile Charlotte would've been handled differently. Rikki, Emma and Cleo would be more inviting but keep their secret about the fact they were Mermaids from her at the behest of The Guardian. Cleo would almost expose her and her friends several times leading Charlotte to find research on Mako through Max. Lewis and The Guardian would also befriend Max and after checking the footage and research, which leads The Guardian to a wrong conclusion it leads Charlotte to the moon pool when the moon was full and she becomes a mermaid. While The Guardian senses something has changed it's not until the next day that Lewis and The Guardian discover the truth with Rikki, Emma and Cleo looking from afar in the water.

The next day after school The Guardian as Mr. Jean-Dian asks Charlotte to stick around after school to help him with the next lesson he had planned for the next day. That reason was to drop the vail of his alias and for Rikki, Emma and Cleo reveal that they too are mermaids shocked at the three being mermaids they bond and things are good until the last two episodes of the season until a full moon reflection hits Charlotte turning heel. Acting out and attacking the three even hurting The Guardian leading up to the finale. In said finale The Guardian believe that this day is the day of the prophecy and suggest to use today as a day to either reflect, repair or to do as they wish because that night The Guardian, Rikki, Emma, Cleo & Lewis will face off against Charlotte in the fight for the soul of Mako Island. While in a meditative state, The Guardian comes to a surprising conclusion though it is not spoken aloud. Meanwhile Emma reveals the fact she's a mermaid to Ash, Rikki and Zane decide to spend the day on land at Zane's place without his parents around. That night Zane and Ash decide to join the group against Charlotte. While Ash, Lewis and Zane are easily taken down. Rikki, Emma and Cleo hold their own until The Guardian shows up. Holding Charlotte up until the planetary alignment passes. Using the powers within him, The Guardian eventually drops Charlotte in the water and then erases her human memories. The only ones who would remember Charlotte was even human was Ash, Cleo, Emma, Lewis, Rikki, Zane and The Guardian. As far as the rest of the world was concerned Charlotte Watsford never existed, she'd be dismissed as Deja vu and ultimately forgotten. Before leaving Charlotte in her mermaid form permanently, he hands her a ring and tells her to find the pod, the return is happening! Fulfilling the prophecy but not as it was written it would end.  The Guardian then telling everyone to prepare for the return. Setting up a storyline we'd get to in the next season, if there was going to be one or for a whopper of a finale for this entire series. But we'll get to it next time on...

(Cut to a black background and the words "HOW I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN IT!" in neon as James' voice echoes those words before cutting back to clips of the season two as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Ultimately Season Two was really good, the pace of the storyline is good and I do recommend it as a good follow-up to season one. I also found myself enjoying certain episodes like "Fish Fever" and if the series were to have ended here like it should've. It would've been a fine ending leaving it open enough for a sequel series or a spin-off of sorts to happen on further down the road but that wouldn't happen until three years after the next season. That's right, there's one more season of this show and we have the fans to thank for that one. See, originally Network Ten and Jonathan M Shiff were only contractually obligated for a two season run with a total of fifty two episodes. However fans wanted another season and with the explosion of YouTube, Netflix and Streaming sites, the show was a hit internationally and so they had craft a final season which would be sufficient enough to end this series and keep the door open for said spin-off! Which was a success but with the price of one of their own leaving. But we'll talk about that when we get to Season 3 (Fade to Black before cutting to a clip of Rikki accidentally igniting the laundry before cutting to a clip of the MST3K episode of "Gamera" as Tom Servo says "Roast 'em, Tenderize 'em down Ya go!" before fading to black.)

Just Add Water: My Mako Adventure: H2O Just Add Water Season 2 part 1

(0:10-0:56, 1:51-2:07 of the trailer of Season 2 of H20: Just Add Water before cutting to the rest of the Trailer as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover):  WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER MOON POOL! Welcome my friends to "H2O: Just Add Water" Season 2!

(Cut to Scenes from season two of "H2O: Just Add Water"as "No Ordinary Girl" is played  in the background before cutting Mako Island before it cuts to a scene of James in a lounge chair and the words "Just Add Water: My Mako Adventure" above James before cutting to clips of the show and the season as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): The season begins with the episode "Stormy Weather". The three soon realize that the next full moon is upon them and decide the night of said Full Moon to get to the island and get in the pool. But due to a rare planetary alignment their powers become enhanced with Cleo being able to control the wind as easily as she can control the water, Rikki being able to summon lightning and ignite stuff on fire and Emma can now summon snow. Well now she can dump Killer Frost, Captain Cool and Mr. Freeze and just hang out with Elsa from Frozen. "Stormy Weather" was a great way to show how the Status Quo is beginning to change and start the second season off with a bang. In the follow-up episode we're quickly introduced to Charlotte a new girl in town played by Brittany Byrnes and here is where I get some problems with Cleo, in particular specifically how she acts towards certain things in this season especially towards Charlotte and WHOOO BOY does she pull off some whoppers. Cleo suspects that her boyfriend is into Charlotte more than she is and dumps Lewis, her parents are divorced by the start of the season and when she grabs a sample of a potion that went south in a filler episode and wishes her parents would reconcile and remarry which doesn't happen she handles it badly. Cleo's dad decides to go out on a date, with Charlotte's mom only to realize that her conceptions weren't true. Charlotte's mom was a business associate interested in buying his catch seeing Cleo's dad is a reputable and responsible professional fisherman. Cleo's Ex takes Cleo's job after a small mistake and sends Rikki & Emma to make Lewis' job nigh on impossible and a Dolphin escapes leaving Cleo to clean up the mess SHE made! And I'm sure that the actress who played Cleo, Phoebe Tonkin is a good person but what made her go along with the things the writers did to her character?

Oh well, while we do get some considerable filler after Charlotte is introduced  one episode of note is one of my favorite episodes in the series "Fish Fever". In the episode Emma accidentally pricks herself with a piece of Coral that Cleo takes a piece of and puts it in her Fish's tank her fish acting weird as well as Emma. The episode is a fun little romp through kelp bed which shows Emma is as susceptible to crazy plot elements like any character and Charlotte can be as vicious as Cleo and at her worst can be a nightmare towards Lewis but we'll get to her as a character when her character comes into her own.  The Story of this season continues in the two part episode "The Gracie Code". While researching Mako Island, Lewis hopes to understand the function of the Island and the Moon Pool in order to help the girls understand their transformation better. Along the way he finds Max Hamilton who like Lewis is wearing the same set of shoes is wearing now. Fifty years ago, Max was researching the island with Miss Chatham, Julia and Gracie and they find the Moon Pool and on the night of the full moon Max discovers that Miss Chatham, Julia and Gracie became mermaids after diving into the moon pool under the light of the full moon the same way it happened to Rikki, Emma and Cleo, however during another Full Moon the three lost their tails and powers, also Charlotte is getting really angry that Lewis is hanging around with his ex and her friends. During Charlotte's spying she sees a photo of her grandmother as a Mermaid. Max eventually hands over the research data he had collected in order to help Lewis in his work ending Part one. Part two begins with the girls discovering Charlotte is in fact Gracie's Granddaughter. The three of them ask Lewis to ask Charlotte what she knows leading to Charlotte taking a film reel of her grandmother and transferring it onto a DVD in which she discovers her Grandmother Gracie and her old friends Julia and Miss Chatham were mermaids.

We get great follow up in the next episode "And Then There Were Four". As Charlotte now armed with the knowledge of  her grandmother being a mermaid and Cleo, Emma and Rikki being mermaids themselves and knowing Rikki, Emma and Cleo are preoccupied by prior events that the three agreed to help with during the night of the full moon. Charlotte dives head first into the moon pool. The next day Lewis and Charlotte meet and then... (Charlotte transforms into a mermaid and Lewis is in shock before fading to black)

To Be Concluded in Part 2

Friday, June 23, 2017

My 10 Favorite MST3K Episodes

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James physically)

TLOTA: I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and The views I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. So, Mystery Science Theater 3000 has returned with new episodes on Netflix with a new host and a new set of MADS. My thoughts after watching the first episode? (Cut to host clips and clips of the MADS from "The Beast Of Hollow Mountain" episode of MST3K: The Return and clips of Classic MST3K as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA(Voiceover): I WANT SEASON TWO! YESTERDAY! They did it, they got everything right about the series. I mean it didn't hurt that Joel Hodgson is now the showrunner, but the fact remains the series is continuing it's great ability to riff bad movies and everyone laughing with the host, Tom Servo and Crow. But this is where the show has shined the most. From the past 10 seasons on Television or the countless reruns that air either on Comet TV or even on the streaming services that are around I think that the series continues to be successful and revered because it still remains true and unlike the people who worked on "Attack Of The Eye Creatures" EVERYONE on the new show CARES to honor the past and take care to make sure the future is solid! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: And for me to honor the past and make sure MST3K's future fans know about the show, I am going to share with you my 10 favorite episodes of the original series! (Cut to clips of the classic series as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): And for this list there will be a few rules. One, I am going with the ten seasons that aired on Network TV. The New MST3K just ended it's first season and I am gonna give it a few seasons before I give it it's own list. Two, For every Joel Episode there will be a Mike Episode. Three, The reason for the episode appearing on the list will either be the riff was great, the host segment was good or even the highlight of the episode or for that matter the story involving the host in the episode makes it worthy of being on this list and Four, The MST3K movie is disqualified because I already talked about it in July of Last Year! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: Now with that said, these are my Top 10 Favorite MST3K Episodes! (Cut to the entryway to the MST3K theater as the instrumental of the theme plays in the background as the final door opens we see the MST3K moon as it rotates to the logo and it pauses as the words "My Ten Favorite Episodes of " on the top before cutting to the still of the MST3K logo as the number 10 is seen and James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Number ten

10) Soultaker (Cut to Clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Essentially a reunion show of sorts save for bringing back Trace Beaulieu as Dr. Clayton Forrester and voicing Crow one more time and bringing back J. Elvis Weinstein aka Dr. Larry Erhardt. The story of the episode and the riffs are what makes this episode on the list. While Pearl sends Mike and The Bots their movie for the episode The Satellite Of Love has fallen into disrepair and even Gypsy isn't in any sort of good mood to help. (Show clip of Gypsy as she chews everyone out before cutting back to the movie as it gets riffed by Mike & The Bots and James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): The Riffs on Soultaker are spot on especially on the story itself. (Cut to clips of the host segments of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): But what makes the episode is the return of Joel as he comes aboard in the end of the third act to get aboard to fix Gypsy and The Satellite and seeing TV's Frank one more time and keep in mind this was the first episode of the last season airing on what is now the Syfy Channel back when it was SCI-FI! While it would've been nice to see Joel and Mike Riff on the movie together. It wasn't hard to see why they never did. Joel had to fly himself up to the Satellite Of  Love and had to in essence rebuild the systems of the Satellite he didn't have time for joining Mike in riffing. Symbolic of what Joel's role would be since he regained the rights to MST3K. Maybe it was Kismet that the first episode on final season on what is now known as the SYFY network be on this list but maybe it was just for the fun of seeing some of the old faces one more time before SYFY gave it the ax!

(Cut to the still of the MST3K logo as the number 9 is seen and James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Number nine

9) War Of The Colossal Beast (Cut to Clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): The movie itself is the usual fare for MST3K and the host segments are funny as is The Colossal Man played by Mike Nelson. The Invention exchange is as humorous as it could be as well. But what makes this episode list worthy is possibly the most infamous part of the episode. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: And the subject of the short. ("Mr. B Natural" played by Traci Hines jump cuts in with the fluty music and James jumps back and shouts DWAH!)

Mr. B Natural: Mr. B Natural Finally free from that cramped up Satellite and ready to awaken the spirit of music in everyone again and I'll start with you James.

TLOTA: Could you wait in the main lobby until after I was done with this list?

Mr. B Natural: I can wait but the Spirit cannot. Finish the list and You can feel like a Happy King! (Fluty Music plays as "Mr. B Natural" Jump cuts out as James looks around as he shakes off the feeling of uncomfortable before cutting to the still of the MST3K logo as the number 8 is seen and James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Number Eight

8) Laserblast (Cut to Clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): The final episode in the Comedy Central run of MST3K, they threw everything into the episode. The riffs were amazing, the story for Dr. Clayton Forrester's departure was on the nosey, the fact that they subversively told the audience Comedy Central was giving them the ax was awesomely funny and I think the ending does it all (Show end host clip in which everyone sheds their corporeal form and then proceeds to float in the galaxy before we see Dr. Forrester becoming a Star Baby before cutting to James physically)

TLOTA: If the show ended here it would've been an okay ending because quite honestly it works as a finale but for a show like this, I was glad it got picked up by the network that called itself the SCI-FI Network and not the SYFY network and we'd get a more fitting finale. But that is for later on in the list!

(Cut to the still of the MST3K logo as the number 7 is seen and James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Number Seven

7) Mitchell (Cut to Clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): While the episode starts off as a normal MST3K episode we soon discover why this episode is list worthy (Show the First post movie Host segment before cutting to the rest of the episode plays as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): That's right Gypsy being played by co-creator and Executive Producer Jim Mallon thinking that Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank were going to kill Joel with Gypsy believing that because Joel has yet to break so they decide to just straight up killing the guy. Using a method that and I'm para-quoting Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank "Elegant, Painful and leaving nothing behind but the great smell of Brut" but in fact they were talking about Mike Nelson the Temp they had hired. So as Gypsy had to try to save Joel from something that The MADS aren't planning on doing to Joel and from what I've heard there was tension between Joel Hodgson and Jim Mallon. Rather than watching the series suffer because of the tension Joel decided to step away from MST3K. The Riff was great and the moment Tom Servo loses it was hilarious. The end segment when Joel is about to read a letter and is unceremoniously sucked into an escape pod hidden in a box of Hamdingers and when the Bots go nuts and The MADS unsuccessfully try to get Joel back but they do find someone else to send up in his place.

This episode had to serve as a finale to the Joel era as well as the beginning of the Mike Era and it pulled off the transition perfectly!

(Cut to the still of the MST3K logo as the number 6 is seen and James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Number six

6) Girls Town (Cut to Clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA: (Voiceover): The movie is the first episode in the first full season for Mike Nelson. While Mike was getting his sea legs after Joel left in the middle of season five they did try to keep certain things like the Invention Exchange. I think the producers realized by the end of said fifth season they had to let Mike be Mike and it was in this Episode Mike felt free enough to bring his own humor into the mix. While I enjoyed the riff and the story fine enough, what put this one on the list was one host segment that just was for me HILARIOUS! (Show clip of Tom Servo Scatting as Mike and Crow are close to sending Tom Servo into space through an ACME rocket before cutting to James physically)

TLOTA: Let's analyze this moment (Show clip again as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): First off, Tom Servo scats for a few seconds before Crow grabs a burlap sack which Mike uses quickly to stuff Tom Servo into then drops him into a 60 Gallon Water Tank which doubles as an ACME Rocket! They're seconds away from lighting the fuse. What stops them? The Commercial Sign and decide to let him out all while Tom Servo scats carefree! A perfectly funny moment worth it's weight in Comedic gold and worth being on this list!

(Cut to the still of the MST3K logo as the number 5 is seen and James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Number five

5) Catalina Caper (Cut to Clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): I'll admit I'm a bit of a sucker for this type of cheesy campy movie. So seeing Joel and the bots enjoying the silliness of this movie and knowing the riffs are done from a place of enjoyment is a plus in this episode's favor. But what puts the episode on this list? (Show clip of Tom Servo singing about his love for the character played by Ulla Strömstedt before cutting to James physically)

TLOTA: Sadly the actress never got a chance to see Tom Servo proclaim his love for her character as she sadly died in a car crash but Kevin Murphy as Tom Servo and his singing is just amazing! And to be honest there are times when I check out the new series and I miss Kevin Murphy's voice but I've gotten use to Baron Vaughn as Tom Servo as of late so take it for what it's worth.

(Cut to the still of the MST3K logo as the number 4 is seen and James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Number Four

4) Diabolik (Cut to Clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): After Pearl fiddles around with the controls of the Satellite and accidentally sending the Satellite into re-entry mode. Pearl decides for their last movie for Diabolik and while the riffing was their usual great fare. It's the fact that for everyone involved that for them, this was the end and they decided to make the best host segments for the series and to see Mike finally getting home and even sharing a place with Servo & Crow doing what they do best.  (Show the final moments of MST3K "Diabolik" episode before cutting to clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Up until the Restart on Netflix for all of us MYSTIES, This WAS the final episode! While I'll never get how Crow, Servo and Gypsy got back onto the Satellite. I'm betting Gypsy's company went Belly up and Mike couldn't afford the rent for all of them so Kinga granted them a return to the Satellite Of Love 2.0 which I think it is because I doubt Kinga or anyone on moon base 13 had the resources to rebuild the original from scratch again. But as far as an ending for the Original Show, it was satisfactory. The MADS lost, Mike made it back to Earth and he's happy doing what he wants to and he's got his robot pals.

(Cut to the still of the MST3K logo as the number 3 is seen and James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Number Three

3) "Manos: The Hands Of Fate" (Cut to Clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): I know, A lot of  MYSTIES have put this one at the top of their favorite episode of MST3K Episodes but there's a reason why it's not Number One because it was the first one I saw Online on the official MST3K Channel and it was the first time I saw "Manos: The Hands Of Fate" and I loved the episode. Watching Joel console Crow & Tom Servo after getting out and trying to reenact the long opening drive, Heck seeing TV's Frank and Dr. Forrester in separate host segments apologize for putting them through this was entertaining. Even the end segment in which we see Torgo (Now played by Mike Nelson) owning his own Pizza delivery was entertaining. The fact Mike Nelson got the walk, the look and Mannerisms down pact almost made me think they got the original actor who played Torgo to don the costume and play the role again. I later found out that actor ate a gun! But still this episode is worth it's weight in Torgo's Pizza!

(Cut to the still of the MST3K logo as the number 2 is seen and James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Number Two

2) The Turkey Day Marathon (Cut to Clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):  As we all know another way of calling of a bad movie is the word "Turkey" and as we all know we enjoy Turkeys on Thanksgiving. So Comedy Central came up with the idea to use MST3K to celebrate Thanksgiving. My favorite ones during the first time was the first one in 1991 in which TV's Frank is preparing for Thanksgiving and Dr. Forrester is planning to take over the world, 1994 which had Adam West hosting and it debuted the "Zombie Nightmare" episode & the one in 1995 which had Dr. Forrester trying to take over the world before his mom got to his lair while dealing with Pitch from "Santa Claus", "Mr. B Natural", "Kitten With The Whip" and Jack Perkins and forcibly having to do a Thanksgiving that TV's Frank had planned before his character was written out after the "Samson vs The Vampire Women" episode. While the last episode in the 1995 marathon made Pearl Forrester a permanent fixture in the series. This was a great way for every MYSTIE to get their fix as they enjoy the Turkey with all the trimmings with the family. Why SCI-FI Channel never did that I don't know. I'm sure it would have worked. Being able to see your favorite episodes and some you never thought about checking. While it has come back in recent years thanks to Joel hosting it on YouTube. So while you stuff yourself  with Turkey then I suggest you and your family try stuffing yourselves with some of MST3K's Finest Turkeys while enjoying the Football Game or The Macy's Thanksgiving Parade so they can possibly find themselves enjoying it and finding more episodes they could enjoy outside of the ones in the marathon.

(Cut to the still of the MST3K logo as the number 1 is seen and James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):  And My Favorite Episode of Classic MST3K of all is.... 

1) "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" (Cut to Clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Verity Lambert said "You never forget your first Doctor" when it comes to "Doctor Who".  But for MSTies like myself you never forget the first riff. And for me my first Riff was that of the Pia Zadora Classic "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" this was my first exposure to the show and to the movie. So trust me when I say this is MST3K at it's finest. The riffs were on point. The Host segments are hilarious. Even the Patrick Swayze Christmas song is perfectly in tune with everything right with the show and for Joel Hodgson and crew to keep this type of quality up in the new season makes it worth all the while and I hope they keep it going for a long time to come. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: And I know I missed A TON OF THEM I really did like so feel free to add your favorite in the comments below. As A matter of fact I encourage you to do so and Share the link! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to deal with a person who needs to awaken the spirit of music in me!  I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That's My Opinion. (James reaches off screen and the usual ending of an MST3K as TV's Frank pushes the button.)

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Just Add Water: My Mako Adventure: H2O Just Add Water Season 1

(Scene begins with Rikki, Emma and Cleo heading to Mako Island and Cleo saying that Mako Island is cursed and off limits before cutting to clips of the girls on the island before cutting to clips of the pilot as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Oh Cleo, stop being a worrywart, It's just an Island. It's not like you'll find a pool that connects to the Ocean and is powered by the moon and gain fish tails and powers and.... CRAP! I've got to learn when to shut my pie hole. Oh well, Welcome my friends to H2O: Just Add Water Season 1!

(Cut to Scenes from season one of "H2O: Just Add Water" as "No Ordinary Girl" is played in the background before cutting Mako Island before it cuts to a scene of James in a lounge chair and the words "Just Add Water: My Mako Adventure" above James before cutting to clips of the show and the season as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): 2006 was a hard year for fans of Mermaids in Cinema.  "Aquamarine" eventually gained a cult status & "Lady In The Water" was such a hilarious little bomb, that would eventually leave The Nostalgia Critic in Stitches but none the less it stunk like rotten fish even worse there was a proposed Spin-Off of the series "Charmed" which would've featured Mermaid characters but due to "The WB" & "UPN" becoming what is now "The CW" AKA The home of the DCCW Universe that series never even made it past pre-production and a made for TV movie that acted as a backdoor pilot for a series that aired on what is now ION Television never made it past said TV Movie. But that was here in the States. In Australia a Kids TV Producer named Jonathan M. Shiff came up with a concept for a Kids show featuring Mermaids and on paper sounded interesting and surprisingly it worked. Partly due to sites like YouTube sending the series to people all over the planet, While eventually Nickelodeon would pick the series up it's popularity found footing, so to speak online through (Pun intended) Streaming services like Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime! I'll get into SOME of the behind the scenes facts that I do know about this series and "Mako Mermaids" as I get to them but for now having spent an entire paragraph on the series info I do know, let's get into the series properly.

The first season and by extension the Shiff-verse of Mermaids begins with the episode properly entitled "Metamorphosis". We're introduced quickly to Emma Gilbert played by Claire Holt and her friend Cleo Sertori played by Phoebe Tonkin & the new girl in town Rikki Chadwick played by Cariba Heine. Emma likes to swim and dreams of being an Olympic Swimming Champion, Cleo likes working with Sea Creatures in a Marine Park and Rikki...Well, she's a hard clam to crack but since she's the new girl in town, we'll get to know more about her as the entire series progresses but to get back at the episode at hand we find our three stuck on a small Dinghy because of an arrogant teenaged jack-ass by the name of Zane that is heading to Mako Island and according to legend it's been deemed off limits because it apparently is cursed! But Emma & Rikki decide to go there because they have very few options either float in the middle of the water until they die or go to the island and wait for help living off what they can until they're rescued. While exploring the island the three find cave in the center of an dead volcano and a tide pool connecting to the ocean. As the three dive into the pool the water somehow activates by the light of a full moon. The three are rescued and the next morning they go on their everyday lives until.... (Cut to the transformation and reaction of the three in their own way)

YEAH, If you see a crab playing Calypso SWIM AWAY! All kidding aside the three discover ten seconds after the initial saturation of water they become mermaids and the source for the transformation is what everyone calls from now on in this series and the next one the "Moon Pool" at Mako Island. Emma & Cleo quickly discover they have certain abilities when it comes to water. Cleo can move water with telekinesis and Emma can freeze water solid. Hmm, I guess she can now hang out with Killer Frost, Captain Cool and Mr. Freeze. In the follow up episode "Pool Party" Rikki discovers her power to heat water to WELL beyond the boiling point and a friend of theirs named Lewis discovers their secret thanks to Zane.  Lewis promises to help the three keep their secret, work on whatever they need done for them per episode and eventually becomes Cleo's love interest, it's a funny old world that the dorky guy can get the hot looking girl who can spontaneously grow gills, fins, scales and a tail with bare contact of water. A few episodes later the series gets strange. Apparently the reflection of the moon depending on the liquid makes one of the three act out of their normal characters. M'Kay! But halfway through the first season we're introduced to Miss Chatham who befriends the mermaids and tells them that she and her friends Julia and Gracie were mermaids back in the 1950's and though she tries to be a mentor her character lasts shorter than Ritchie in Season 2 of Power Rangers the legacy of her character and that of her friends will be a plot point in the second season and while we won't see a proper Mentor character to teen Mermaids helping hone their abilities until Mako Mermaids, it was a nice attempt in doing so. In the meanwhile Zane tries to find out who saved him in the mid season which just so happens to be Rikki, Emma & Cleo also a mistake made Lewis finds the three with an antagonist that doesn't reveal itself until the final episodes Dr. Denman

After some filler the season comes to a close in the final two episodes of the season "Dr. Danger" & "A Twist In The Tail", Dr. Denham has found her way to Mako Island after capitalizing on Lewis' mistake , A team of Divers including Dr. Denham discover the pool leading to find out Rikki, Emma and Cleo are in fact mermaids, While Zane is conflicted towards the events, his father agrees to help fund Dr. Denham's expedition due to a failure of a plan to turn Mako Island into a family resort which was a plot from an earlier episode in this season. Not sure how that was going to work especially when you need a TON of clearances and permits. And drive another point home,didn't people say the Island is cursed? But seeing as how Zane's father is loaded I'm sure there was suitcases of bribery cash and politicians on the take involved in that transaction. But I digress the follow up in the season finale is glorious, Zane after discovering Rikki, Emma and Cleo were the Mermaids who saved him decide to return the favor by helping them and Lewis escape much to the chagrin of his father and Dr. Denham. Dr. Denham confronts the three with a proposal step in the pool tonight under the lunar eclipse or be continually hounded for scientific examination. The three acquiesce to Dr. Denham's demands and it appears that they've become human again. That is until..... (Cut to the three as they're surprised to see their tails have returned and Lewis tells the three what he thought would've happened and the three of them and Cleo in turn suspends Lewis over a fountain of water before fading to black then cutting to clips of Season One and James doing a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Over all Season one was a fun little romp of adventure, teenage hijinks, learning to adapt your life to the changes you don't see coming and even though there is environmentalism episode or three and it's understandable especially since everyone knows where both series are set. I also want to talk about the music. The incidental music used in the series is on track for a show like this, The opening theme song however I personally don't find it to be good but that's just my taste in music, if have a better ability to accept certain genre styles like the Opening theme then all the power to you! (Cut to Opening theme song for a few seconds before cutting back to clips of the season as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): I also want to talk about the production design for both shows and boy howdy is it amazing specifically when it comes to the Mermaid tails, they had two different styled tails one for stationary shots and the other one was made for underwater stunts and I'm sure they were heavy with them being close to 35 lbs. and they had to add two feet onto the tail just to properly move the tails and when they needed to use special effects for the transformation and use of powers it was really impressive. (Cut to a black screen)

But as good as this season was, I feel me personally it could've had a better storyline. So it is here that I introduce the section I call... (The words "HOW I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN IT!" as James' voice echoes those words before hearing stock Game Show Music as clips of the season play in the background and James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): While the first few episodes I would've kept the way they are I would've added another element of mystery, of someone watching them from a distance. By the first episode when the girls are in school they're assigned to marine biology, their teacher Mr. Jean-Dian tries to include himself sometimes rather unsubtly in order to offer advice and try to be helpful to Rikki, Emma and Cleo eventually earning their trust even asking the three of them to use hyperbole if the situation is something involving something mermaid related to help him understand the situation. By the middle of the season Rikki, Emma & Cleo receive hand written letters with incredible penmanship and wordsmithing.

After the events of the mid-season episode happen Rikki, Emma and Cleo acquiesce to the request of the letter and in the cave the person who wrote the letters to the three reveals who the person happens to be and says he's been watching them and while they've progressed slowly for his desires he's decided to drop the subterfuge and come out of the shadows, revealing himself to be Mr. Jean-Dian which happens to be a nom de plume and the name of the man who has been watching in the shadows is The Guardian. He may look young but he's a couple of centuries old and with the wisdom of ages he would teach them how to master not only the powers they've got when they first obtained their powers but also the powers they had not even thought they had yet to tap into and through those abilities being able to effectively stop Dr. Denham and Zane's Father or if it's a matter of the heart or something personal.

While Cleo and Lewis' relationship grows quickly as does Rikki and Zane's, The Guardian suggests the couples take it slow. While not getting into too much detail he does admit when he fell in love, it was possibly at the worst time eluding to a moment when darkness had covered the island and  the relationship ended with her demise and it destroyed him inside but looking at the two couples gave him some feeling of hope and the season ends with the three fully accepting that they are mermaids and their world has been changed forever, ready to face whatever adversity comes their way together and accept changes for better or worse and The Guardian decides to stick around for the remainder of the series to assist the three as much as he can. And that ends this portion of... (The words "HOW I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN IT!" as James' voice echoes those words before cutting back to clips of the first season as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): If you liked the first season the way it was or my version of things, let me know in the comment section but let me say the following as to why I am doing the "How I would Have Written It" segment. I have a reason for this and when we get to the last season of Mako Mermaids, it will help clear up the mess in continuity this series will make when Mako Mermaids happen. But we'll get to them when they come. To me this season set up a good foundation for a new universe it opened and expansion into said universe will occur as will changes up the wazoo. But we'll get to that when we reach season 2!  (Fade to Black before cutting to Cleo in the second episode having to hear she'll be late from her little sister before cutting to her recently transformed saying " It's OK, Kim. I'll walk." before cutting to Black)