Sunday, December 12, 2021

The Last Of The Americans 2021 Holiday Gift Guide

(Cut to James pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 then cut to James jumping down a cliff from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci landing in Santa's sleigh and fully morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans Christmas mode with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with Christmas Trees on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Black Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James and Santa riding with the 12th Doctor and Clara at the 0:13 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:14-0:17 show Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun as the two run after the Grinch before cutting to John and Mike Santos baking cookies before cutting to the 0:17-0:19 mark as it shows Paulo & Brenda Fonseca popping in A Muppets Christmas Special on a player before cutting to the 0:20-0:28 mark as we see Eric Kurtzke, Ed Champion, Andrew Beach and Olivia Horvath decorating as it cuts to the doors outside of James' space and time machine as the 0:28 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James stands on top of his Time and Space device and tosses a candy cane then cuts over to multiple clips from the past six years of "The Last Of The Americans" Christmas reviews/top 12s as the Candy Cane flips end over end as the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words "The Last Of The Americans" on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground. Cut to James in his office)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours and it's December, got my Santa hat on, and my list of gifts that are budgeted at $100.00 which will be stretching every last penny. The is "The Last Of The Americans Holiday Gift Guide" for 2021. 
(Cut to James and Team TLOTA in their Pajamas as they come rushing to the Christmas Tree and see different items they wanted and cleaning up as the camera turns to see in the Wrapping Paper shrapnel "The Last Of The Americans Holiday Gift Guide" slide wipe to James in Cooking gear and walks to a toaster oven and around the Kitchen in the Studio.)

TLOTA:
Now, this I like, this is a multifunctional toaster oven by aimpire. It has an air fryer function that works on making Garam Masala, a dehydrator function that is best without the heat, it makes great jerky and dehydrated fruits, a baking function that works amazingly on small 
pizzas and for toasting small amounts of oatmeal which we go through here like nobodies' business. I like the broiler function to cook a very well done Turkey Burger, or if I feel a little naughty, I cook a hamburger with bacon in no time flat, and the toasting function is perfect for bagels because, for me, the open-cut side is the side that looks best when toasted. I also enjoy making fresh pasta with the Shule Electric Pasta Maker Machine with Motor Set Stainless Steel Pasta Roller Machine. While making the dough is manual, the results speak for themselves in terms of quality pasta and how fresh the stuff tastes. (James takes a bite of the pasta) Molto Bene! Now the sauce while starting off in a can, but the smooth texture came from this bad boy, The Hamilton Beach 2-Speed Hand Blender. Two speeds, easy to clean, and when it is done with sauces, it makes great smoothies and milkshakes. Now I know what some of you are thinking. Is there anything that breaks the budget? Well, no, but in the long run, it is worth it. This is a Foodsaver Vac-packer; this helps keep meats, veggies, and baked goods fresher. The links to these devices are in this paragraph above, and instead of lumping movies together this year, I will recommend some movies throughout this guide. There will be Five best movies for the Holidays from this year for purchase at the end of the guide.  But let's start off with something different, and while yes, the holiday mentioned in these movies will have passed by like the eight nights in a flash, well, they're still awesome. (Cut to clips of "The Hebrew Hammer" & "Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights" as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Yes, Hannukah, or as it is pronounced "Channukah," will have LONG since passed by the time this post is out; I feel that these movies are great, even "Eight Crazy Nights" and they highlight a holiday miracle and in case anyone wondered where I got the idea for Linkara to go Supersaian in his Rant in my 2017 Power Rangers Movie, well now you know. (Cut to the Jewish Guilt scene intercut with Linkara ranting about everything in The Last Of The Americans "Power Rangers" (2017) movie as it then cuts to James saying WHEW!)

TLOTA:
As it has been since last year, mental and physical health have been significant. This is the best app I have been using is CALM, and what it does helps train your mind to relax in the most stressful of situations and given my vocation and my return to education, stress has been plentiful fortunately this has helped me keep my sanity. As well as talking to family members thanks to this add-on to a Smart TV Add-On. This is the Facebook Portal TV, I can contact friends and family and I can even do something that has been gaining traction online, Virtual Table Reads. What it implies in the title is that a group of people from different parts of the country are coming together to read scripts from movies either the finished drafts or unused drafts. Here is an example, Alexa, play "The Last Of The Americans VTR" (The VTR of "The Last Of The Americans: The Movie" plays in the background)  As you can see, I'm one step closer to the actual event I want to thank Kent Lilly for splitting the cast load until the actual event can happen. Did I just break the fourth wall on this gift guide?  Whatever but still I have to help out with the physical end and guess what I got myself into a resistance band workout and to get into it, I got, of course, Resistance bands. (Cut to James as James does a workout with the resistance bands.) And what really helps is the lessons I take with me from DDP yoga, Which I still do. Whew! When we come back, games for my niece on the Nintendo Switch and I will show you the site where you will see the return of a local legend in 2023! 

(James shouts as he flings back to the wall and yells "OW!" Fade to black. Cut to the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words "The Last Of The Americans" on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground. Return to the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words "The Last Of The Americans" on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground. Fade to James as he and Chad are trying out games on the Nintendo Switch.)

TLOTA:
Welcome back to The Last Of The Americans 2021 Holiday Gift Guide (James grunts as he loses.) As you can tell, I've been getting my backside handed to me testing games for my niece's Nintendo Switch and the first game we've tested is the Smash Bros. Ultimate for the Nintendo Switch and Chad here has been taking me to town. 

Chad Narducci:
Yeah! How do you like me now?! ( A kid's voice says "HEY!" as James' niece Vivian walks in and takes the controller from her uncle.)

Vivian Lee Faraci:
Let's dance, Mr. Narducci!  (Cut to clips of Super Mario Odyssey, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, Just Dance 2022, and other Nintendo Switch intercut to Vivian beating Chad at the games. Cut to a clip of RetroMania Wrestling as Chad's Tommy Dreamer gets pinned by Vivian Lee Faraci's "Warhorse". Cut to Chad as he drops his controller and begins to cry, scream and act like a baby. Cut to James and Vivian Lee as they see Chad cry and act like a baby)

Vivian Lee Faraci:
He works with you? Mr. Narducci, you need to grow up.

TLOTA: 
Yeah kiddo, you're right! But what do you think of these games?

Vivian Lee Faraci:
They're cool, but I'd like to try some more board games. 

TLOTA:
Okay! (Cut to James, Vivian, and John Ross & Mike Santos as they ready a board game) Ah... Trouble, the best thing about this game is the popper die in the center of the board!  Usually, there are four players which is a good thing, a little confusing but still, this is fun. You have to go around the board once and the first person to get all four of their pieces in a row is the... 

Vivian Lee Faraci (Off-Screen):
I WIN

TLOTA:
Winner, Good game Lovebug! Let's meet up with The Fonsecas and Yauns shall we? (Cut to Brenda and Paulo Fonseca as they go up against Nick and Rebecca Yaun and James walks towards them.)

TLOTA: 
My niece takes on the winner and two of you. This is Sorry, where like Trouble is to get all your pieces to the goal after going around the board. (Cut to Vivian as she plays, loses a game then beats the pants off of the others in three more games.)

Rebecca Yaun:
Geez, I would've thought that not being around board games that would've made it easier for us to win at least once against you.

TLOTA:
Well, Little Miss Vivian is a board game queen!

Chad Narducci (Off-Screen):
Oh yeah? (Cut to Chad Narducci as he has five games set to try and win against Vivian Lee.)

Chad Narducci:
Try these on for size. I've got Monopoly, a game where you win by getting your opponent's money, get a head start on businesses and deals and real estate. I've got "Guess Who?", You have to quickly discover who I am on my board, then there's "Battleship", you have to guess where my ships are and sink them quickly, Then there's "Scrabble", make the most powerful words and get the most points. Finally, there's UNO, the first person to have emptied their hand before the others. The question is to both Vivian and James. Are...You...Ready? (Cut to James and Vivian as they nod to each other and then beat the pants off of Chad in Monopoly as James and Vivian force Chad into bankruptcy and James makes it rain Monopoly money. Cut to Vivian, Julia Alexa Miller, and James beat Chad at Guess Who in ten seconds. Cut to see Vivian as she sinks the last ship in "Battleship" on Chad's board. Cut to Vivian, James, and Olivia Horvath as they beat Chad in Scrabble, Chad hits the table and the Scrabble tiles spell out "OW!" as it cuts to James, Vivian Lee, Chad, Olivia Horvath, Renee Miller, John & Mike Santos, Ed Champion, Andrew Beach, Julia Alexa Miller, Paulo, and Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca, and Nick Yaun as Vivian have one card left and as she lays it down for the win, James and the others being gracious losers congratulate Vivian's crafty win except for Chad Narducci.)

Chad Narducci:
I've lost! I've lost bad, I LOST TO AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD GIRL!  (Chad kicks the archway and hops on one foot and falls out the door and down the steps. Cut to everyone looking as James calls an ambulance. Cut to the Ambulance as Chad is taken to a local hospital and everyone walks in)

TLOTA:
Despite the fact that Chad is a sore winner and loser, these games are fun and available at the links above. Now let's check out some more Christmas movies that deserve more recognition. (Show clips of Christmas All Over Again, Last Christmas, Christmas with the Andersons, "Holiday In Handcuffs", "Christmas in Boston", and "A Merry Friggin' Christmas" as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
While some of these movies aren't that great, there are a few diamonds in the rough that need a little more Christmas polish and the best part of "A Merry Friggin' Christmas" is of course the late Robin Williams and how this was one of the last movies he ever made. If you get the chance, then I strongly suggest you check these movies out, they may help you look a little deeper for the Holiday spirit that is still in us. (Cut to James in a construction site.)

TLOTA:
Believe it or not, where I am standing is where a lobby for a movie theater in my hometown of Liberty, NY stood. I remember watching movies like "Toy Story", "Aladdin" and even "Batman & Robin".  However, time moved forward, and not helping was the fact Asbestos was used in the construction of the building, and in 2005 this theater was closed for good it seemed. However, what surprised me is that there would be rumors of this theater coming back or the building being used for some purpose. Finally, after getting some financial allocation the Village of Liberty Theater has had all the Asbestos removed and is being remodeled. How do I know that? (The camera pulls back to see James under the Village Of The Liberty Theater Marquee.)  I am here right now, looking at the bottom of the Marquee and I am going in to see what is going on! (Cut to James as he walks around the theaters as they're being renovated and the screens restored to their glory as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
As I stand at what used to be one of the theaters that I watched some movies of my youth and the first "Pirates Of The Caribbean" movie, seeing the lines from fans of both the Star Wars prequels and the Harry Potter films were images that still play in my head as I stand here. Now knowing it will be returning and knowing I won't have to schlep three hours just to watch a movie in theaters then come up with a review as I come home. By 2023 I will be able to see movies quicker and be able to come up with "Clipless Reviews" of movies or even be able to come up with more honest movie reviews that were fresh from watching them. I am also hopeful of something better happening, like the possibility of a Sullivan County New York Film Festival. While I know it's not going to happen soon, I am thinking ahead to seeing some more life come back into the community I've lived in and loved all my life. Just knowing that makes me feel better about my future endeavors. (Cut to James as he walks back into his studio as he comes back with a minorly injured Chad Narducci and places him on the couch.)

TLOTA:
Just take it easy. You good? (Chad nods "Yes") Cool! Party will start in an hour. (Cut to James in his office.)

TLOTA:
Now before I finish up, I am going to go over ten movies from this year that actually should be on your Christmas list, even if you've seen them in streaming or in theaters. (Cut to clips of certain movies as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):

10) "Zack Snyder's Justice League"
While it is slightly different from the one I reviewed a few years ago, it is better somewhat because it was what Zack had in mind for the DC Movies. While yes I will never wholly enjoy the current movies under the DC Cinematic banner, this feels like a "Sorry the movie you saw sucked and hope this is better in your taste. And for an early Christmas present, There will never be an episode of "The Different Cuts" on either version of "Justice League"

9) "Marvel Studios' "Black Widow"
While the backstory behind Natasha Romanoff's story was sprinkled in areas in the MCU already, seeing these chapters as she began and where she was between "Captain America: Civil War" and "Avengers: Infinity War" and what the future for the new "Black Widow", Yelena Belova played by Florence Pugh, has in store and what Valentina played by Julia Louis-Dreyfuss is going for.

8) "Batman: The Long Halloween" Pts. 1 & 2
When a masked vigilante is out to kill the mobsters of Gotham City, it's up to Batman, Harvey Dent, and Commissioner Gordon to figure out who is behind these crimes. While people have some idea as to what goes on, the twists and turns in the story are amazing, One other thing everyone might like on The Blu-Ray Copy of Part 2 is the two-part Batman TAS episode "Two-Face" those episodes still remain some of the best the series has to offer. 

7) "Mortal Kombat" (2021)
I've gone over the pros, cons, story, acting, and everything else in September. A lot of great performances, and hopefully a start to a better "Mortal Kombat" movie series than the ones done in the 1990s However you may need to find a secondary movie to fill out the night because this movie's run time is short by most modern movie watchers standards.

6) "Free Guy"
Ryan Reynolds plays "Guy" a non-playable character who thinks his world is real until he discovers his life is in an MMO video game and he becomes an instant Icon in the video game world. Now he has to fight to save his world from the developers and the people who want to see the game destroyed because of "Guy"'s popularity. Under different circumstances, this movie would've been bad! But to me, I enjoyed every second of it

5) "Robert Kirkman's Secret History Of Comics"
These two Blu-Rays in one tells six stories of unknown comic book history, From the history of Marvel and how Stan Lee got more successful as a Comic book Maestro, "The Trials Of Superman" which told the story of how Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster have tried to reclaim the rights of Superman and how the two fell into poverty and how it took Neal Adams to help get them a pension plan and the bi-line as the creators of "Superman" and how even after they've passed their estates have been trying to get the rights back from DC. The very unsavory history of the creator of "Wonder Woman" and how it took a lifetime to get her back to her roots, the impact of what 9/11 did for comics, and the stories of both how Milestone Comics showed people of color as great heroes like Superman and Captain America and Image Comics and how they became the comic book company of the disaffected and how they had to grow from their early days which is still fodder for Linkara especially with the works of Rob Liefeld. If you are a comic book fan, then I strongly suggest you get it.

4) "Jungle Cruise"
Yeah, let's get this out of the way, this was Disney's attempt to test the waters in the "Indiana Jones" adventure series based on their ride, I have to say this is one of Dwayne Johnson's better movies in the past few years. I loved the action, adventure, and comedy. This really does have great talent behind its fluffy exterior.

3) "DC's Injustice"
Based on the Comic Book/ Video Game storyline, this tells a tale of Superman as he loses town, his wife and unborn son then finally his morality as he offs The Joker who set off the chain reaction that would show the end of The Justice League and where the world would stand in which the heroes we've known are fighting not for the sake of what is legally right or morally right. They're fighting to save themselves from themselves and the world must decide where to stand. With the heroes who have done what is legally wrong or with those who have done morally wrong. I truly did like this movie, however, the one downside is the extras on the Blu-Ray. I was expecting the two-part episode from the Justice League in which the Justice League of our earth would have to take on the Justice Lords. Other than that there's nothing really awful about this movie.
 
2) "Cruella"
Telling the origin of Disney's biggest villains in their animated history, everyone wrongly thought that this was a rip of the DC "JOKER" movie. When it takes more from "The Devil Wears Prada" and feels more original, dark, and psychological without having to be having us think maybe we were better off with the devil we know in control. I also talked about this last month and I want to again thank Steve Kidd for helping with the writing in the review. I will go deeper in on the Top Ten Best Moments of "The Last Of The Americans" of this year

and at the number one spot
1)"Marvel Studios' Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings"
Shang-Chi must stop his father and the group of martial arts terrorists known as The Ten Rings from unleashing a mystical beast of darkness kept in a mountain in Ta Lo and redeem the family that he left after going into exile. When I first heard of this movie, I was intrigued. Now that said this is a great follow-up to "IRON MAN 3" as we discover what happened to Trevor Slattery since that movie and a follow-up short that came out years before this movie. Now having said that XU WENWU, yes, there is an orange called Mandarin but Tony, take it away. (Cut to the clip as Tony works the Crime Scene Recreation and tells the definition of "THE MANDARIN" in "Iron Man 3". Cut to James in his office)

TLOTA:
Before I sign off until my top ten moments of the year, I want to again highlight someone, but this time there are two people I want to highlight I still consider them both my friends, compatriots in this vocation, and these guys I still call my brothers. Stevie "The Media Whiz" Swigart and Gus Webb "The Nostalgia Kid". (Cut to clips of all of Stevie's work on YouTube and episodes of The Nostalgia Kid" as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Let me start off with Stevie and his work. Now there have been a couple of times where I volunteered to help him out. However, his best work has been some of my personal favorites such as his 30's Guy talking about The Three Stooges or when he highlights lesser YouTube stars that deserve some recognition and had been doing so for a LONG time. And earlier this year as I was taking it easy, Stevie left a post saying "Goodbye" and that scared the hell out of me, everyone close to Stevie tried to DM him, a mutual associate of mine called in some local help and I prayed he was alright. Thankfully he was and I made a promise to be a better friend, however, I screwed up and if me highlighting him can mend some bridges I hope I do right by him. Now onto The Nostalgia Kid. He may have started off sounding like a knockoff of a certain meshugginah schmuck from Chicago but over the years he has found his own voice and has become such a better reviewer than I can ever be and much like how things between me and Stevie went downhill this year, so did things between me and him however he has also gotten something else that he has been working on "Drive-In Mutants" with James "Jamietud" Sullivan and several others. It's like MST3K and RIFFTRAX on a weekly Twitch Stream and seeing the reruns this is funny on levels, not even MST3K & RIFFTRAX has reached yet. If you haven't checked them out, then I suggest you find them on YouTube, Vimeo, and other video sites. They're just the right people in the business to call friends. (Cut to James physically in his office)

TLOTA:
Well, I hope... (A Knock on the door.) One moment. (James goes to the door and Vivian is there) What's up. (Cut to James as he and Vivian see Chad with the Lego Classic Collection.) What the literal definition of Heck is going on!  (Cut to Chad)

Chad Narducci:
It's simple, She builds a better set up and I... (Cut to an hour later as Chad is dressed as a baby and is the center of attention) cannot believe this is happening. 

TLOTA:
What did you expect? My niece is a master at Legos as much as she is a master at board games. Now let's do this Chad, we've got a minor celebration that I can do within the Covid boundaries. This stinks for you, but imagine having to change your diapers, and that's my job! Oh Well, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and see ya next year!  (Cut to James as the party begins to wind down and James cleans up and James readjusts his suit, changing the shirt to a Casual Long Sleeve Shirt with the American Flag on the top of the chest as Julia Alexa Miller knocks on the door.)

TLOTA:
It's open. (Julia Alexa Miller walks in as James closes the last button on his shirt.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
New Shirt?

TLOTA:
Well, The fans weren't liking the shirt, felt I was being a Captain America knock-off. 

Julia Alexa Miller:
Well, 2022 is coming up so will we FINALLY get everyone together and tell them what you had planned.

TLOTA:
If nothing else goes wrong, then I say we do it! (Cut to the American Flag as the ending music from "Batman Forever" plays as Paulo and Brenda Fonseca, and Rebecca and Nick Yaun in their cars, John Ross and Mike Santos ride on their bikes, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion, Renee Miller, Eric Kurtzke, Chad Narducci, and Olivia Horvath as they zoom through on their rides as it cuts to James and Julia Alexa Miller in the Time-Space Device as they drive forward from the flag into the great unknown. Cut to a black screen as it says in white letters. "To Be Continued... In "The Last Of The Americans: The Movie" coming soon!")

Thursday, November 18, 2021

The Top Ten moments of Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank on MST3K

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words "The Last Of The Americans" on it before cutting to James in his office physically)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and the views I'm about to express are that of my own & some of yours.  And like a phoenix, MST3K is rising from the ashes of the fires of cancellation once again.  (Cut to the MST3K 2021 crowdfunding videos as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
However, this time around, instead of the team going to Netflix or some other streaming channel, this time they're making their own streaming app called The Gizmoplex which will be available on streaming services, and when it does, I am hoping they will do some incredible moments especially with the MADS Dr. Kinga Forrester and T.V.'s Max, Son Of T.V.'s Frank played by Felicia Day & Patton Oswald. Now let me make this clear, I have nothing against Kinga and T.V.'s Max, Son of T.V.'s Frank, or Pearl Forrester, Bobo and Brain Guy; however, when I think of the MADS (The guys in charge of sending the bad movie to Joel or Mike and tormenting either of them seeing if they will psychologically break.) I think of Dr. Clayton Forrester, played by Trace Beaulieu, and T.V.'s Frank, played by Frank Conniff. These were two very vitriolic towards each other and towards Joel or Mike. While they would fail miserably in breaking either Joel or Mike, they were entertaining in all the ways they did make Joel or Mike watch the movies, and today, I am celebrating both of them (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
There will be cheats at the ten and one spot on this list; spoilers will happen, and anything I can add to the moment I will talk about. With that said, let's see the top ten moments of Dr. Clayton Forrester and T.V.'s Frank on MST3K.

(Cut to a field as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, and a camera looks around, and Dr. Clayton Forrester pops up shouting "FRANK!" and starts shooting, and The camera drops. Cut to the inside of an oven where what the camera symbolizes and Dr. Clayton Forrester puts T.V.'s Frank's head looking in before closing the door and the words "Top 10 moments of Dr. Clayton Forrester and T.V.'s Frank on Mystery Science Theater 3000" are shown and Dr. Forrester closes the door revealing the Number.)


TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 10
(Cut to clips of the MST3K episodes "The Crawling Eye" & "Rocketship X.M." as James does a voiceover)

10) Meeting both Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank

TLOTA (V.O.):
I know that the pilot and the second season premiere are different from night and day, but there is a reason for it being here. When we meet Dr. Forrester, played by Trace Beaulieu, he has dignity as he tries to break Joel Robinson, played by Joel Hodgson, and he had someone who did well as a partner for Dr. Forrester, Dr. Laurence Erhardt played by J. Elvis Weinstein however after that first season something happened to J. Elvis Weinstein that said to him that he needed to leave. His departure left two prominent roles to replace. The first one was filled automatically by T.V.'s Frank, played by Frank Conniff, and the replacement voice, which became the definitive voice of Tom Servo Kevin Murphy.  This actually worked better because instead of an equal like Dr. Erhardt, TV's Frank was the perfect foil driving Dr. Forrester nuts, but still, there would be something that kept the two together as long as they did.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground where what the camera symbolizes and T.V.'s Frank looking in and using a Bulb Baster in the oven and Dr. Forrester shouting "FRANK!" as he closes the door revealing the Number.) 

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 9

(Cut to clips of the MST3K episode "Gamera" as James does a voiceover)

9) Their least successful experiment, "Gamera."

TLOTA (V.O.):
Let me explain; yeah, this movie was terrible, and Kenny drove me mad as well. However, at the end of the film. Joel and the bots were sad and had their riffs in. And while the MADS' impact is minimal. What made it clear is that the movie would be the first of many, MANY rounds with the super Kaiju turtle, and it would be up to Forrester and Frank to keep the crazy movies featuring him going and as the films went and on. You can see the failures of these movies hurting Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank and having to up their torment game.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground where what the camera symbolizes and Dr. Forrester putting in a Dressing dish with T.V.'s Frank brains in the oven and closing the door revealing the Number.) 

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 8

(Cut to clips of the MST3K "Turkey Day '91" as James does a voiceover)

8) The First MST3K Turkey Day Marathon

TLOTA (V.O.):
Frank tries to prepare a Thanksgiving feast with guests like The Mole People, The Plant Guy, and one VERY drunk Jack Perkins. All the while, Dr. Forrester is trying to break us with endless episodes of MST3K. While Frank does end the experiment for Clayton, it does end with our duo acting the way they would at the end of the holiday. This showed our pair in a more domesticated light but still seeing Clayton unable to stop even during Thanksgiving. But I say enjoy these clips on YouTube. Speaking of YouTube, feel free to join me at the number 7 spot for the next moment.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground  where what the camera symbolizes and T.V.'s Frank putting in their homemade Croissant Rolls in the oven in the oven and Dr. Forrester shouting "FRANK!" as he closes the door revealing the Number.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 7

(Cut to clips of the MST3K Vol. 10.2 upgrade seminar as James does a voiceover)

7)The MST3K Vol. 10.2 upgrade seminar

TLOTA (V.O.):
For a fan like me, seeing Joel, Trace, and Frank return to MST3K was fantastic, but there's a bit that needs to be discussed. Here's the scenario. Best Brains and Rhino entertainment, The then distributors of the MST3K DVD collections, screwed the pooch as they failed to get the rights to a Godzilla movie that the gang had riffed. Then they had to replace it with The Giant Gila Monster, and to help Joel put the red jumpsuit back on, Trace performed Crow once again, and this time Frank Conniff performed as Tom Servo to help make sure this problem was rectified. However, seeing them return at that point, just to save Rhino and Jim Mallon instead of maybe I don't know trying to iron out the issues, but still, any moment that had Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank return is worthy of this list.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground where what the camera symbolizes and Dr. Forrester puts in a Green Bean Casserole smothered in T.V.'s Frank's shattered skull in the oven and closing the door revealing the Number.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 6
(Cut to clips of the MST3K episode "Village Of The Giants" as James does a voiceover)

6) Frank gets fired from the episode: "Village Of The Giants." 

TLOTA (V.O.):
Apparently, keeping a guy trapped on a Satellite and forcing him to endlessly endure one bad movie after another is becoming pricey. Specific cuts had to be done to the budget. Therefore Frank was fired from his duties as Dr. Forrester's henchman. While Frank was slumming it until he was replaced by Torgo from "MANOS: The Hands of Fate," it isn't until the end of the third act that he finally decided to fight to get his job back. By the end of the episode, and Frank returned to work as Dr. Forrester's lackey. While it was fun to see what it would be like for Frank to fight for what he deserved and what he deserved was to be employed by Dr. Forrester and help torment Mike with Dr. Forrester. And this wouldn't be the last time saying goodbye will be on this list.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground where what the camera symbolizes and T.V.'s Frank moving the Stuffing over and placing a Sweet Potato Pie in the oven in the oven and Dr. Forrester shouting "FRANK!" as he closes the door revealing the Number.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 5
(Cut to clips of the MST3K episode "Mitchell" as James does a voiceover)

5) Joel's escape from the Satellite Of Love from the episode: "Mitchell."

(Show the clip of Dr. Forrester shouting, "WHAT?! JOEL ESCAPED FROM THE SATELLITE OF LOVE?!" Cut to the MST3K episode "Mitchell" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
We all know the backstory about how Joel was leaving after this episode but what put this episode here is the transition of the hosts and the story in the episode. As Joel is thinking, "Okay, this is just another experiment, nothing too big or bad." Gypsy, as performed as Jim Mallon, intercepts a call from Frank & Forrester.  While Gypsy is thinking that after failure after failure of trying to break Joel. The two are going to kill Joel instead. However, if Gypsy had opened the contact earlier, Gypsy would realize Forrester and Frank were talking about Mike Nelson, played by Michael J Nelson. With Gypsy having to find a way to save Joel. Gypsy calls Mike to set the release of Joel back to our world. However, when the MADS try to rescue Joel and shove Joel back on board, it's a moot point as Joel landed in the Australian outback. (Cut to the ending of the episode as Dr. Forrester and Frank look at Mike, and the two laugh and choose him to send up to the Satellite Of Love. Cut to the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
It was a great episode and an excellent moment for Joel, Forrester, and Frank.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground where what the camera symbolizes and Dr. Forrester moving the Croissant Rolls and placing in a tray of 100 Pigs In A Blanket made from T.V.'s Frank's organ meat in the oven and closing the door revealing the Number.) 

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 4
(Cut to clips of the MST3K episode "The Castle Of Fu Manchu" as James does a voiceover)

4) The second closest victory Forrester and Frank would have: "The Castle Of Fu Manchu."

TLOTA (V.O.):
I've already discussed how this episode nearly broke Joel and the bots in my Top ten worst episodes of MST3K list but seeing Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank enjoy every soul-crushing moment of Joel and the bots as they try to riff and make jokes only to have the trio ultimately wind up crying in agony is something I can relate to. But just when it looks like Dr. Forrester and Frank will win, Joel gives them the biggest Screw You Two Blue Moment as Dr. Forrester, and T.V.'s Frank try to riff on "Castle Of Fu Manchu" badly, might I add, This moment happens. (Cut to the clip of Frank saying, "You know we could've made funny comments, but the movie wasn't that good." and the ending of the episode. Cut to clips of the episode as James doing a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
An excellent ending to let us know that even as close to victory as they got but at the number two spot, the two really got their most significant victory

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground where what the camera symbolizes and T.V.'s Frank as He places corn in the oven and Dr. Forrester shouting "FRANK!" as he closes the door revealing the Number.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 3
(Cut to clips of the MST3K episode "MANOS: The Hands Of Fate" as James does a voiceover)

3) The one that Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank apologized for: "Manos: The Hands Of Fate."

TLOTA (V.O.):
It was interesting how this movie is the only experiment the two actually apologized for sending to Joel and The Bots! Think about it, out of all the movies which included "Monster A-Go-Go," "The Sidehackers," "Catalina Caper," "The Castle Of Fu Manchu," "Attack Of The Eye Creatures," "EEGAH!", EVERY SINGLE EXPERIMENT THAT JOEL HAD TO ENDURE, AND DR. FORRESTER & T.V.'s FRANK NEVER APOLOGIZED FOR THEM! It was THIS movie which, in the grand scheme of films, is not the worst movie Joel and the bots had to endure, and it is this movie that they apologize. Okay, granted, these apologies happen at different times, but still, it was a nice gesture to know that even Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank have their limits as to where they'll go to get the win over Joel and The Bots. However, speaking of their biggest successes.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground where what the camera symbolizes and Dr. Forrester placing a Pumpkin and Apple Pie with a crust made by T.V.'s Frank shoulder blades in the oven before closing the door revealing the Number.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 2
(Cut to clips of the MST3K episode "Rocket Attack USA" as James does a voiceover)

2) Their biggest yet the least talked about victory: "Rocket Attack USA."

TLOTA (V.O.):
That's right, this movie, not "Manos: The Hands Of Fate," "Castle Of Fu Manchu," NONE of these movies did as much damage as "Rocket Attack USA" did. While they didn't blubber or cry and get so despondent that they'd be broken. It did something worse to Joel and The Bots. It got them so upset they couldn't focus on anything except how bad the movie was. (Show clip of Tom Servo, Crow, and Joel as they talk about the film. Cut to the rest of the episode as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
This episode destroyed the joy of movie-watching for Joel and The Bots, and for me, that's the most significant victory for Forrester and Frank. Yet very few people think much of the episode. To me, this experiment is their most successful because if they had kept doing those types of movies, I think we'd be under Dr. Forrester's control, and given the people in charge right now, I'd gladly take Dr. Forrester in charge.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground where what the camera symbolizes and T.V.'s Frank placing in Baked Potatoes in the oven and closing the door. However, the weight of what's in the oven to fall, causing a crater in the Kitchen as it cuts to Dr. Forrester looking down in the crater and shouting "FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK!" and walking away from where the oven was revealing the Number)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
And The Number one moment of Dr. Clayton Forrester and T.V.'s Frank is...
(Cut to clips of the MST3K episodes "Samson vs. The Vampire Women" & "Laserblast" as James does a voiceover)

1) Saying goodbye to Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank

TLOTA (V.O.):
I know that these are two different episodes but knowing that this will be the last time we'd see them on the show was pretty sad to see. Seeing T.V.'s Frank being summoned to second banana heaven and being led thereby Torgo. Then we have the moment in which Dr. Forrester hears the news. He then goes into possibly the most emotionally charged song, and it was about how he'll miss making Frank suffer and how in his own demented way how much Clayton loved being with Frank. And to Trace's credit, he sang so beautifully about T.V.'s Frank. However, he had to become the second banana himself as Pearl, played by Mary Jo Pehl, came into the picture. While he did try to regain his standings as the head of the two MADS, it seemed that Pearl was dragging him down until Comedy Central canceled the series, which ultimately led to Dr. Forrester doing the "2001: A Space Oddessy" ending, thus writing Dr. Forrester out for good. While the series would continue after their departure and there were plenty of great episodes and funny riffs. For many saying goodbye to Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s, Frank remains the swan song of the series. But for me, knowing that they were gone and had met their fates is the Number One moment because it had to happen. (Cut to the clip at the end of the "Who Will I Kill?" song as Dr. Forrester says, "Goodbye Frank, and remember wherever you are, I will kill you!" Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Are there any moments that you think I missed?  Then let me know in the comments section (Static breaks as it cuts to T.V.'s Frank as played by Frank Conniff in a heavenly setting.)

T.V.'s Frank:
Oh, there are plenty of moments of Clay and me I can talk about. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
T.V.'s FRANK?! (Cut to T.V.'s Frank)

T.V.'s Frank:
Back in Second Banana Heaven, and I am living it up with so many of my friends. I and so many great second bananas are enjoying a lot of what you do. (Static breaks as it cuts to Dr. Clayton Forrester as played by Trace Beaulieu in a very demonically red cave filled with magma and lava)

Dr. Clayton Forrester:
So do those who are being tortured for our sins (Mockingly): For causing my fellow man pain by making him suffer bad entertainment and hurting others! (Regularly): BAH! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
DR. CLAYTON FORRESTER?!  (Cut to Dr. Clayton Forrester)

Dr. Clayton Forrester:
Yeah, and I am suffering for sending Joel and Mike all those movies! I mean, is it wrong to overthrow generations of corruption just to be as corrupt, if not worse. Nothing out of your mouth Frank! (Cut to T.V.'s Frank)

T.V.'s Frank:
Well, there was a moment in which you had gotten beaten by the mafia for the fifty grand, and I had to take care of you while Mike watched "Red Zone Cuba." Oh, and remember when Joel had to (Cut to Dr. Forrester)

Dr. Forrester:
FRANK! He said for us to leave the moments in the comments section. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Um, thanks, Dr. Forrester. Before I sign off for the month and set December up, I have to ask what happened to you after you became a star child and Pearl thinking she had a second chance with you. (Cut to Dr. Forrester)

Dr. Forrester:
Well, my mother smothered me to death!. Again and this time, I wound up paying for something called my sins and now I'm down here being forced to watch bad movies 24/7! Do you know how many times I've seen this movie called "The Room" WHO IN THE HELL FINANCED THIS MOVIE? WHERE DID THIS TOMMY WISEAU COME FROM? HOW IN THE HELL DID HE STICK HIS JUNK INTO THAT GIRL'S BELLY BUTTON? WHAT IN THE HELL WAS UP WITH THE MOMENT IN THE FLOWER SHOP? THIS IS SOMETHING I WISH I HAD BEFORE I MET MY FATE! (Cut to T.V.'s Frank)

T.V.'s Frank:
Wow Clay, imagine if we had shown it to Joel or Mike, We would've taken over the world easily (Cut to James as the MST3K Turkey Day Hymn is playing.)

TLOTA:
Great, now I got to get going. Next Month Holiday shopping gift guide and year-end Top 10. Until then I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That's my opinion. (Cut to a split-screen between Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank)

T.V.'s Frank:
Oh wait, What about the Turkey Day marathon in which I ate nothing but Turkey?

Dr. Forrester:
FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Oh Forget it, just push the button Frank! (The sound of the button being pushed and the screen goes black!)