The Top Ten Gizmoplex Era Episodes of MST3K (so far)

 (Scene begins with a smartwatch screen and a finger as it taps the screen, and the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand tapping an app on his phone as it opens a portal, and it cuts to James and the characters he’s played until it cut to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans'” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun and Doug Yaun and the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca & Doug Yaun, Rebecca and Nick Yaun” is shown as it then slides away to different images of Andrew Beach Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath and the credits of “Andrew Beach, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” is shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites, and Blues as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions" “Executive Producers: James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Olivia Horvath” “Editing by Eric Kurtzke and James Faraci” “Written and Directed by James Faraci” are shown as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an image of James as he jumps through the portal and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a black background, and the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays. Cut to James in his office.)

TLOTA: I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, and the views I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. In 1999, many people thought that once the MST3K episode "Diabolik" aired, that was the end of the line for the crew aboard the Sattelite of Love! (Cut to clips of MST3K "Diabolik" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.): And to be perfectly honest, it ended on the right notes. Mike was going home after Pearl Forrester had done everything she could to torment them. He took Tom and Crow to his little neck of the woods and did what they were doing while on the Sattelite but now in their own home. While GYPC decided to make a few bucks on the Internet Boom then. (Cut to the current era of MST3K as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.): Cut to 2010, Joel Hodgson had just reacquired the rights to MST3K ownership and decided to bring the show back. Working with "Shout Factory," who had kept the MST3K brand alive since obtaining the rights to distribute the episodes they could legally share on the home market and the burgeoning streaming service market began plans to revive the brand and by 2015 had successfully crowdfunded the series for a new season, found a new home with Netflix and had gotten a new line up in the cast including Jonah Ray to play Jonah Heston, Hampton Yount to be the third performer for Crow T. Robot, Baron Vaughn to be Tom Servo's third performer, Patton Oswald as TV's Max, son of TV's Frank and Felicia Day as Kinga Forrester along with returning bit player Mary Jo Pehl to stop by as Pearl Forrester and by 2017 The Sattelite Of Love had returned as Netflix aired the new MST3K series and I loved it. There was a mix of the old style of how to riff a movie and a newer style that allowed more funny moments in the host segments and on the riffs. But by 2019, after two successful seasons, Netflix gave the series the ax. However, Joel was unwilling to let go; he went back to crowdfunding and successfully created his own streaming service, "The Gizmoplex," to help Joel fund the following season after getting the ax from Netflix. This new season would bring Jonah back as well as bring in occasional road tour hostess Emily Marsh as Emily Connor, and Joel Hodgson came back for two whole episodes as Joel Robinson and a co-host of the final episode (For now) as the latest crowdfunding failed to meet its goal. And with the future of the series now in question, again, we can be sure of one thing: no one will be forgetting MST3K anytime soon, and with The Gizmoplex still running, we've got enough MST3K for a hundred dozen Turkey Day Marathons. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: And for me, another Top Ten MST3K list, just in time for Thanksgiving. (Cut to the current MST3K episodes and classic episodes as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.) For this list, I am splitting it up into the following: Most will go to Jonah, as he has been doing the most; three of the episodes will go to Emily; the seven, five spots and She will be a part of the number one spot; and two classics that I discovered because of streaming and the Gizmoplex. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: With that little bit out of the way, let's get into the top ten Gizmoplex Era episodes of MST3K (so far). (Cut to a field as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, and a camera looks around, James Pops up in Camo and starts shooting, and The camera drops. Cut to the inside of an oven where the camera symbolizes. James looks in before closing the door, and the words "Top 10 episodes of The Gizmoplex Era of Mystery Science Theater 3000" are shown. James closes the door, revealing the Number.) TLOTA (Voiceover): Number 10

(Cut to the MST3K "MUNCHIE" episode as James does a voiceover.)

10) "MUNCHIE"

TLOTA (V.O.): WHOLLY HELL! What did I just see?! When the Gizmoplex crew first saw the abomination known as "Munchie," the only other thing I could compare it to was some of the worst in the MST3K's past like "Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders," "Monster A Go-Go," and "The Castle Of Fu Manchu!" I'm not even joking; this was undoubtedly one of the more painful experiences of an episode. The jokes were fantastic when they made fun of the movie. But when you first see Munchie, remember when Steve Kidd and Uncle Roger had seen Alton Brown's "Sister" Marsha for the first time? That was similar to the events when Jonah and the bots saw Munchie. The reaction was not that different, resembling what had happened here. In fact, Kinga Forrester actress Felicia Day saw the movie, and the first time she saw the unholy entity that was Munchie, she was freaked out. If it was scary enough to scare the crap out of Felicia Day, it must have been therapeutic when for her as Kinga Forester to force Jonah and the Bots to watch the movie. If I had to force myself to continue, I would need a lot of psychiatric assistance. "Munchie," thank your lucky stars that I made my Top Ten Worst movies on MST3K at the start of this neverending winter in 2020!

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, wherein what the camera symbolizes and Olivia looks in, uses a Bulb Baster, and closes the door, revealing the Number.) TLOTA (Voiceover): Number 9

(Cut to the MST3K "Gamera vs Jiger" episode as James does a voiceover.)

9) Gamera vs Jiger

TLOTA (V.O.):
Gamera and MST3K go well together, like Chinese food and Jasmine Tea. This time, Jonah must take on the mega turtle that haunted Joel throughout his run. The jokes about the Expo flow plenty in this one. The riffs make the movie more enjoyable, and it was worth the wait for many MST3K fans to see Jiger get its darts attacking him. We also have these two English-speaking kids who must be translated into English! Gamera looks like he's seen better days. In addition, there are so many jokes about how inept most of the people are in this movie, making it even easier for riffing. Then we come to the end of the episode as Crow, Servo, Jonah, and GYPC doing an Irish/Boston wake for Jiger after watching this movie for what felt like a lifetime. Remember that an average MST3K episode is ninety minutes without the commercials. So, for this Gamera movie, being that long is a surprise. What else can be said except? (Singing): The movie was not crazy wrong, nothing left but to sing the song. Sing the song of Gam-er-a!

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, wherein the camera symbolizes Renee putting a Dressing dish in the oven and closing the door, revealing the Number.) 

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 8

(Cut to the MST3K "Mac and Me" episode as James does a voiceover.)

8) "Mac and Me"

TLOTA (V.O.):
Technically, this and the one at the number three spot are available on Netflix, but they're also on The Gizmoplex for a couple of bucks. Still, they're worthy of being on the list. This dollar store knock-off of ET, which had the most blatant McDonald's advertising subtlety, remains fodder for Paul Rudd fans; look it up for more context, but the fact they go hog wild with the McDonald's references at the right time makes a lot of the jokes about this movie feel so good, plus this started out the thirtieth anniversary for the series in a binge challenge called "The Gauntlet."  And if this was how "The Gauntlet" started off, by the end, you'd feel like Rocky Balboa after going toe to toe with Apollo Creed, Clubber Lang, Ivan Drago, Tommy Gunn, and Mason Dixon in a marathon Boxing fight. Talking from experience on this one. "Mac & Me," What was the connection to Paul Rudd? 

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, wherein the camera symbolizes Brenda Fonseca putting their homemade Croissant Rolls in the oven and closing the door, revealing the Number.)  

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Number 7

(Cut to the "The Batwoman" MST3K episode as James does a voiceover.)

7)  "The Batwoman"

TLOTA (V.O.):
This was Mexico's answer to the campy 1960s Batman movie, and the plot is paper thin. A Crime-fighting female luchador has to stop a crazed scientist from making gill men from spinal fluids from other luchadors. The jokes and riffs lend themselves to the obvious about the character of The Batwoman. Especially when Crow and Tom Servo play up certain things, including... (Show the clip of Emily in her dress as the saxophone from "Careless Whisper" plays. Cut to James physically; he looks adoring at Emily, and his right-hand slaps the taste out of his mouth.)

TLOTA:
I have been training myself to remind myself of one undeniable truth. I will not get the girl, and all my dating apps have clarified that I have no chance. (James' smile quickly turns to a sad look of reality hitting him like nobody's business. Cut to the "The Batwoman" MST3K episode as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):

Uh, Yeah. This is Emily's third episode; by this time, she has found her own way of doing the episodes. While she has had the fewest episodes of all the hosts, it was here that fans took a liking to her, and after this episode, it's apparent that she could eventually be worthy of being on the same level as Joel or Mike. If you want to see how great she is, check out this episode and the one at the number five spot.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, wherein what the camera symbolizes, and Nick Yaun puts a Green Bean Casserole in the oven and closes the door, revealing the Number.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Number 6

(Cut to the "The Dead Talk Back" MST3K episode as James does a voiceover.)

6) The Dead Talk Back

TLOTA (V.O.):
This was Mike hitting his stride as a host of the series. After the short "The Selling Wizard," Mike and the bots face a murder mystery in which one character, Henry Krasker, is working on a device meant to contact those who have passed away and how it could help those who have been murdered. What makes this episode worth it is the characters in the movie and how Mike and the bots tear them to shreds. And I loved the character of Mattling, played by Kyle Stanton; he's one of those guys who you will see on the streets saying that his way of following God is the right way and by today's way of doing things would be going viral for his bible thumping, especially in the interrogation scene. (Show the MST3K clip of Mattling's interrogation scene from "The Dead Talk Back." Cut to the "The Dead Talk Back" MST3K episode as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.): Toss in Crow's never-ending guitar solo and one of the best interactions between Frank and Dr. Forrester, in which they want to interrogate Mike and the Bots. You can tell that Trace Beaulieu was reacting honestly to Frank's confession, and I loved every second of it. The first time I enjoyed this was through streaming. Thanks to The Gizmoplex and YouTube, I can enjoy Mattling and the Murder Mystery for all it's worth and the simple acts of trying to solve a mystery about whether Krasker's device will help "The Dead Talk Back."

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, wherein the camera symbolizes Rebecca Yaun moving the Stuffing over, placing a Sweet Potato Pie in the oven, and closing the door, revealing the Number.) 

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Number 5

(Cut to the "Doctor Mordrid" MST3K episode as James does a voiceover.)

5) Doctor Mordrid

TLOTA (V.O.):
Emily Connor's second episode and this episode, which features a D-level knock-off of a specific Marvel character, Show how great she is and what she can do when she takes on the material head-on, not be afraid to make fun of it. I am OK with them doing that, especially when the movie takes place in Manhattan. Moreover, Jeffrey Combs's performance as the main character is a highlight of the film. The riffs are good, and they even sneak in a reference to "The Room" in the riffs. (Show clip of crow saying "Oh Hai Mark!" Cut to the "Doctor Mordrid" MST3K episode as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Should you "Fugghetaboutit" regarding the movie and the riffs from Emily and The Bots? No, it's excellent, and you should see it, especially when you are talking about the coolness of Jeffrey Combs if he were to have put on the cape and the eye and had the name Marvel gave Benedict Cumberbatch. 

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground wherein the camera symbolizes Doug Yaun moving the Croissant Rolls and placing them in a tray of 100 Pigs In A Blanket in the oven and closing the door revealing the Number.) 

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Number 4

(Cut to the "Rocket Attack USA" MST3K episode as James does a voiceover.)

4) Rocket Attack USA

TLOTA (V.O.):
This Joel classic was the first time I saw an episode on a streaming service. The jokes hit perfectly, especially the Civil Defense Quiz Bowl and the McCarthy hearings on Un-American activities. But that ending was just proper for how one would feel, especially at the end of the year. I have even timed all the jokes and comments in the ending so that I feel part of the episode. What also makes this episode noteworthy is, as I mentioned in my Top Ten Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank list, this was possibly The Mads' best victory over Joel and The Bots, however people rarely talked about this episode. However, since the introduction of The Gizmoplex, this episode has got better recognition. And it doesn't even upset me at all! (Cut to the ending of the MST3K Episode as it plays out, and Frank pushes the button and shuts the screen off.)

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, wherein the camera symbolizes Andrew Beach as He places corn in the oven and closes the door, revealing the Number.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Number 3

(Cut to the "The Loves Of Hercules" MST3K episode as James does a voiceover.)

3) The Loves of Hercules

TLOTA (V.O.):
"Law & Order SVU" fans take note of the credits in the movie; that's right, Mariska's parents, Mickey Hargitay and Jayne Mansfield are in this one, and the performances have all the earmarks of what a "Hercules" movie of that caliber. One of the better moments outside of the riffs in the film was the introduction of M. Waverly.  Especially when Crow and Tom Servo beat the circuits out of the poor bot! (Show clip of M. Waverly being beaten to a pulp off-screen as Crow and Servo say their humorous lines, including "C-3P OH I DON'T THINK SO BUSTER!" Cut to the ending of the movie/episode as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Then, everyone gets the chance to sing the operatic ending of the movie. It is a fun episode, the riffs are hilariously entertaining, the movie lends itself to the cheesiness of the time it was made, and all things considered, if you haven't seen this episode, what are you waiting for. Nothing left to do but (Singing the same note as everyone else in the clip is doing.)

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, wherein the camera symbolizes Paulo Fonseca placing a Pumpkin and Apple Pie in the oven before closing the door to reveal the Number.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 2

(Cut to the "The Million Eyes of Sumuru" MST3K episode as James does a voiceover.)

2) The Million Eyes of Sumuru

TLOTA (V.O.):
Watching this gave me "Castle of Fu Manchu" vibes; of course, the same people who made "Castle Of Fu Manchu" made this, which didn't help. The plot is about two CIA agents who wind up in Hong Kong. One of them is Frankie Avalon, and they are joined by a British Intelligence agent who finds this female who has plans to, that's right, eliminate the Y Chromosome and take over the world (Cut to James in the Super Mario Bros. Movie review as the Maw-Ray is about to eat him, Mario and Donkey Kong, and James says, "Of Course!" Cut to the "The Million Eyes of Sumuru" MST3K episode as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
However, unlike Joel and the bots when they took on "Fu Manchu," Jonah and the bots could survive it by getting ahead of everything and surviving the movie with their riffing abilities and sanity intact, but barely. "The Million Eyes Of Sumuru" Your predecessor, "Castle Of Fu Manchu," nearly broke the host and the bots; you almost came close but not close enough.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, wherein the camera symbolizes Eric Kurtzke placing Baked Potatoes in the oven and closing the door. However, the weight of what's in the oven falls, causing a crater in the Kitchen; it cuts to James looking down in the crater and shouting, "GUYS!" and walking away where the oven is revealing the Number)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

 And the number one moment on Mystery Science Theater 3000 from the Gizmoplex Era so far is... (Cut to "The Christmas Dragon" MST3K Episode as James does a voiceover.)

1) The Christmas Dragon 

TLOTA (V.O.):
As of this post, this is the final episode; for now, what a way to go out. Not only did the three hosts riff on this "Lord Of The Rings-"esque Christmas movie, This was so awesome, as not only did Jonah, Emily, and the recently recaptured Joel Robinson, played by Joel Hodgson, share the hosting/riffing duties, but they also had the three of them team up at the end act but the three actually make good on their subtly hidden plan of escaping Kinga and The Gizmoplex. As for Kinga, she's left with a destroyed Gizmoplex and no one to force bad movies on except the bots. The film has that 2000 cheesy and outdated CGI that could've been in the "Lord Of The Rings" movie trilogy, but Peter Jackson nixed it, thankfully. But whatever this movie was, it might be better than that live-action "How To Train Your Dragon" movie when it comes out. I was also glad to see Joel and the new generation work well together. I wish Mike was there, but I understand why he isn't involved. One day, we'll see the ultimate riffing team up, but for now, I am glad to say that I have one Christmas wish for Joel to return and for him to work with his successors. Until more episodes come out, "The Christmas Dragon" is the number-one episode of the Gizmoplex era for now. ( Show ending of "The Christmas Dragon" MST3K episode. Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Are there any other of the few episodes left from the current series that you liked? Then, let me know in the comment section below. As for the future of the Gizmoplex and MST3K, I'm hoping for more episodes, and before I forget, I want to say Happy 35th Anniversary to MST3K! (The MST3K Turkey Day Hymn) Now it's Turkey Day Marathon time.  Next month, we will go through another Christmas Gift Guide/ Top Five Best of this year and the top ten best/well-known behind-the-scenes stories from The Last Of The Americans. Until December, I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and that's my opinion.

Top 10 MST3K Mike Nelson Moments

(Scene begins as a finger taps an app on a watch as it opens a portal the 1994 American Gladiators theme song plays , and it cuts to different images of James as the characters he’s played until it cuts to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans'” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, and Nick Yaun as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca & Rebecca and Nick Yaun” is shown as it then slides away to different images of John Ross and Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, and Ed Champion as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “John Ross Santos, Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion” is shown as it then slides away to different images of Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath and the credits of “Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” is shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites, and Blues as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions. Edited by Eric Kurtzke and Paulo Fonseca. Written and Directed by James Faraci” as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an outlined image of James as he morphs into “The Last Of The Americans” and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left is on a white background, and the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays. Cut to James sitting in his office) 

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and the views I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. Well, if the past few years of me talking about MST3K have been any indication, then you know who I will talk about since I've talked about Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank and Joel Hodgson, AKA Joel Robinson. So let's meet the man who came in clutch to keep the series going when Joel escaped from the Sattelite Of Love. (Show the clip of Dr. Forrester shouting, "WHAT?! JOEL ESCAPED FROM THE SATELLITE OF LOVE?!" Cut to the MST3K episodes featuring Michael J Nelson as "Mike Nelson" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Yes, folks, after Joel Hodgson volunteered to step away from the series he started, Lone showrunner Jim Mallon had to find someone to come in clutch and keep The Satellite Of Love running and, by extension, keep Mystery Science Theater 3000 alive. Thankfully, the show had a good enough head writer in the form of Michael J. Nelson. He played Mike Nelson, a temp employee who was at what could be considered either The right place at the right time, the wrong place at the wrong time, the right place at the wrong time, or the wrong place at the right time, either or works in this case. While it took him most of the rest of season five to get his sea legs, when he did, there was NO stopping him, not having the show canceled at Comedy Central, not losing Frank Conniff and Trace Beaulieu, not having the ONLY movie the Best Brains team fail at the box office only to gain the Cult Status, not only seeing the revival at the SciFi Channel be knocked down a peg when Barry Diller basically put the kibosh on it after three seasons, he was solid as a rock! After a ten-year run, he kept everything going until the end of the series. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
So let's celebrate the man that the fans liked, just not the Mads or Barry Diller; this is the top ten best Mike Nelson moments on MST3K

(Cut to a field as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, and a camera looks around. James Pops up in Camo and starts shooting, and The camera drops. Cut to the inside of an oven where what the camera symbolizes and James looking in before closing the door and the words "Top 10 moments of Mike Nelson on Mystery Science Theater 3000" are shown, and James closes the door, revealing the Number.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Number 10

(Cut to clips of all the characters Michael J. Nelson performed as before becoming the host of MST3K as James does a voiceover)

10) Michael J. Nelson, Utility player and Hexfield Thespian

TLOTA (V.O.):
As I said in the intro before this list, before Michael J Nelson was the host, he was the head writer, and not only that, he was also a utility player performing characters and was a regular in the Hex field. Let's go over the list of characters. We have the voice of Isaac Asimov's Literary Doomsday Device in Women of the Prehistoric Planet, Valeria in Rocketship X-M, JC in The Side Hackers, Imperialistic Alien 1 in Jungle Goddess, Sorri Andropoli in Rocket Attack U.S.A., "Hugh Beaumont" in Lost Continent, The Human Duplicators, the voice of "Abe Vigoda" in First Spaceship on Venus, the voice of Mothra in Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster, Gamera - Gamera, Bruce in Daddy-O, Glenn Manning in The Amazing Colossal Man and War of the Colossal Beast, "Jack Perkins" in Fugitive Alien and in the MST3K Turkey Day marathons featuring Jack Perkins, "Michael Feinstein" in Gamera vs. Guiron, Custodian of the Seventh Galaxy in Earth vs. the Spider, Kenny in Gamera vs. Zigra, The Radio Announcer in The Giant Gila Monster, "Morrissey" in City Limits, Holo-clown in Being from Another Planet and Attack of the Giant Leeches, "Steve Reeves" in Hercules Unchained, Mike the Cop in Indestructible Man, Winky in Manhunt in Space, the voice of Tony Travis in The Beatniks, "John Banner" in Crash of Moons, "Larry Buchanan" in Attack of the Eye Creatures, Torgo in "Manos" The Hands of Fate, Operation Double 007, Village of the Giants, San Francisco International, Danger!! Death Ray and Samson vs. the Vampire Women, the voice of Megaweapon in Warrior of the Lost World, the voices of multiple Baywatch characters in Swamp Diamonds, the voice of the Virtual Comedy heckler in Secret Agent Super Dragon, the voice of Frank Sinatra in The Magic Voyage of Sinbad, the voice of Deep 13 computer in Last of the Wild Horses, Toblerone in Escape 2000, Buddy in Parts: The Clonus Horror and The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies, Eddie Nelson in Time Chasersthe voice of Lembach in The Projected Man and finally the voice of Goosio in Final Justice. Phew, what a talent! And most of them were after he became the host. So, imagine if someone on YouTube with half of Michael does all that today! He'd be one of the best by today! Michael was doing this at a time when television was the only way to break into regular acting in hopes of getting into movies. So Michael, for being so talented, I salute you.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, wherein what the camera symbolizes and Olivia looks in, uses a Bulb Baster, and closes the door, revealing the Number.) 

TLOTA (V.O.):
Number 9

(Cut to the MST3K episode "Mitchell" as James does a voiceover.)
9) "Mitchell" AKA Enter Mike Nelson and Joel Robinson's escape from the Sattelite Of Love (Show the clip of Dr. Forrester shouting, "WHAT?! JOEL ESCAPED FROM THE SATELLITE OF LOVE?!" Cut to the MST3K episode "Mitchell" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
As I have gone over in great detail MANY times about Joel leaving MST3K by his partner Jim Mallon, the cast and crew prepared themselves for the new host. But who could fill in the jumpsuit? Thankfully, Michael J. Nelson was willing to come in clutch and take the hosting duties himself. The episode, for the most part, is an average Joel episode. That is if the story of how "G" thought that the mads were going to unalive Joel because he refused to break after all the years of watching bad movies and only making jokes to keep what sanity he had left, when if in fact, "G" had opened up the coms earlier, "G" would've heard them talking about doing it to their temp Mike Nelson. Instead, "G" got Joel off and inadvertently forced the mads to use Mike as the new test experiment for the mads to torment. I also liked how they were able to allow Joel to finish the riffing of "Mitchell" and how they were able to make the transition from Joel hosting to Mike hosting smoother than Joe Don Baker's style.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, wherein the camera symbolizes Renee putting a Dressing dish in the oven and closing the door, revealing the Number.) 

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 8

(Cut to the MST3K "The Brain That Wouldn't Die" episode as James does a voiceover)

8) "The Brain That Wouldn't Die"

TLOTA (Voiceover):
After Joel Left, Mike stepped in, and his early episodes were difficult because he was forced to wear Joel's Shoes. And in this episode, while in the host segments, he had to deal with Joel's shadow. But in the riff segments, we would see the brilliance of Mike Nelson start to crack slowly but surely through the movie riffs. After watching what Mike was doing when he was allowed to be Mike in this episode, while it took a while, I was glad to watch the beginning of Mike's greatness.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, wherein the camera symbolizes Paulo and Brenda Fonseca putting their homemade Croissant Rolls in the oven and closing the door, revealing the Number.)  

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 7

(Cut to the MST3K episode "Girls Town" as James does a voiceover)

7) "Girls Town"

TLOTA (V.O.):
This is where we start to see Mike completely control the Sattelite Of Love as the Invention Exchange is replaced with Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank connecting the Sattelite, and then we have the experiment. Then we have the plot device for this and the following season called the Umbilicus that the MADS would use for future experiments and a Deus Ex Machina. But the moment with Mike and the bots involves Tom Servo at the end of the first act. Tom Servo decides to scat, and the results are comically excellent. (Cut to Tom Servo as he scats. Cut to James physically.) 

TLOTA:
Let's look at this moment again. (Cut to Tom Servo as he scats, and James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Tom Servo talks about how much he likes to scat. So, to entertain himself, Mike, and Crow, he scats happily throughout the entire moment. Meanwhile, it takes Mike half a second to be bored to death. Crow jumps off the screen as quickly as Servo Scats then comes back with a burlap sack. Mike then stamps Tom Servo into the sack and seals him in a 60-gallon water drum that doubles as an Acme rocket! And just before Tom is sent into the depths of space. The Commercial sign puts the kibosh on those plans. What's Tom Servo doing? Happily scatting. That is just how calm he was all the while Mike and Crow were just trying to launch him into the depths of space. It was so good that it was worthy of this list.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, wherein what the camera symbolizes, and Nick Yaun puts a Green Bean Casserole in the oven and closes the door, revealing the Number.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 6

(Cut to clips of "MST3K: Lazerblast" & "MST3K: The Movie" as James does a voiceover)

6) "Lazerblast" & MST3K The Movie

TLOTA (V.O.):
After Comedy Central gave the series the axe, Jim Mallon was shopping the series around for a new network. While doing so, he decided to enact a plan he and then co-creator Joel Hodgson had lying around. It's a movie about the gang on the Sattelite as they riff on possibly the movie that would break the subject and then sell the movie for capital. However, as the process went on, the movie became the movie we all know and has a cult classic love for "Mystery Science Theater 3000 The Movie." The movie riffed in the movie "This Island Earth" was the caveat for Universal to pick up the movie through one of its subsidiary Grammercy Films, and then the series would return on what is now known as the SyFy Channel. While Rowdy, The Nostalgia Kid, and I went over this a few years ago. They really gave Mike a lot in this movie. Even in the Deleted Scenes, he was good.  Plus, if the series had ended with Lazerblast, it would've been a fine send-off for Mike, The Bots, and the series, as Dr. Forrester had lost funding for the project. Mike and the bots shed their corporeal forms to become beings of pure light as Clayton Forrester becomes a Starchild. As I said, if the series had ended here, it would've ended everything well. Thankfully, it didn't end here.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, wherein the camera symbolizes Rebecca Yaun moving the Stuffing over, placing a Sweet Potato Pie in the oven, and closing the door, revealing the Number.) 

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 5 

(Cut to Season 8 of MST3K as James does a voiceover)

5) The first SyFy (Sci-Fi) Channel Season

TLOTA (V.O.):
After a seven-year run on Comedy Central and a movie that would obtain cult status on its own merits, The SyFy (Sci-Fi) Channel was willing to give the Sattelite Of Love a new home, and with Trace Beaulieu having left the series for greener pastures, some holes needed to be filled. First up was a team of MADS. Surprisingly, the first hole was set up at the end of the Comedy Central run with the advent of Dr. Clayton Forester's mother, Pearl, played by Mary Jo Pehl. Throughout this season, she would get her own Dr. Earhardt and TV's Frank in the form of Professor Bobo, Played by Kevin Murphy, and Observer, played by Bill Corbett, who would fill in the other hole. As I said, Trace left, and they needed someone who could perform as Crow. As happenstance would have it, Bill Corbett sounds similar enough to Trace, and while it took Bill some time to put everything together for Crow, he could make Crow his own. What also sets this season on the list is that a story arc happened for Mike. The fact that he accidentally blew up the Earth five centuries after season 7. They blew up the planet of the observers. Then they had to rescue the new MADS and blow up another planet with a baking soda bomb! Mike then has to go to trial for his role as destroyer of planets, only for them to end in Ancient Rome. Then, we are back to our time at the start of season nine. So yeah, it's really worth it to be back on TV and this time on SyFy (Sci-Fi) Channel.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground wherein the camera symbolizes John Ross Santos moving the Croissant Rolls and placing them in a tray of 100 Pigs In A Blanket in the oven and closing the door, revealing the Number.) 

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 4

(Cut to the title card of the MST3K episode "Werewolf" as an arrow points to it as it cuts to clips of the episode as James does a voiceover )

TLOTA (V.O.):
There is a reason why I cannot say the title of this movie, and it's not for a lack of trying. This movie made it impossible for me to say the title. As a matter of fact, what you're about to see is every single attempt at me stating the title of this movie (Cut to James physically in a Soundbooth with an engineer played by Doug Yaun)

 

The Engineer (Audio only):
Okay, James, when you're ready. 

TLOTA:

I'm ready.

The Engineer (Audio Only):
Okay, and Number Four audio title clip recording and go! (James continually says "Werewolf" in so many different ways outside the actual way to say it.) James, you've been at this for fifty takes. What the hell is going on?

TLOTA:
I'm sorry. I was watching the movie, and I've been trying to translate how they say it into English.

The Engineer (Audio only):
Are you shitting me?! Okay, does ANYONE in the movie you're trying to say actually say it clearly enough to loop it in?

TLOTA:
One guy who does that is called "Sam The Keeper" in the movie. 

The Engineer (Audio only):
Okay, Fuck it, we'll dub it in. (Cut to clips of the MST3K "Werewolf" episode as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
So when you hear me say (Audio of "Sam The Keeper" saying "Werewolf") in this part, it's not me; it's Sam The Keeper saying (Audio of "Sam The Keeper" saying "Werewolf"). Anyway, an archeological dig set in Arizona where an asshat of an archeologist is basically in it for the fame and glory when the team he antagonizes claims they found a skeleton of a (Audio of "Sam The Keeper" saying "Werewolf") or as they call it a "Yetiglanchi." And before you know it, all sorts of madness is unleashed. The episode's director and Tom Servo puppeteer, Kevin Murphy, called this movie "A gift from God" because it got the MST3K treatment a whopping two years after it was released. For me, one of the better moments was at the start of the second act as Mike trips on Crow and then slowly but surely becomes a Were-Crow through the episode's final act. While they continue to riff on (Audio of "Sam The Keeper" saying "Werewolf"), by the end of the episode, Mike's gone full-on Crow, and Tom Servo has some essence of Mike doesn't know where or how he got it, nor do I care where he got it. Still, it's safe to say that after the episode, he got tired of being Crow and cured himself. This was just awesome, and so many of the riffs were easy partly because the Eastern European actors make Tommy Wiseau sound like an English Major, and that became an easy source of humor, which I liked about this episode. There is nothing left to say except... (Cut to Natalie as she says, "This is absolutely fascinating!" in her broken English as it cuts to James physically)

TLOTA:
You're right, Shis iz Asholuthey Hashinati!

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, wherein the camera symbolizes Mike Santos as He places corn in the oven and closes the door, revealing the Number.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Number 3

(Cut to the MST3K episode "Soultaker" as James does a voiceover)

3) The only time Mike and Joel meet face to face and the start of the final season

TLOTA (V.O.): 

They started off their final season by showing that the Sattelite Of Love was starting to fall apart at the seams. While the riffing was still good, and "Soultaker" was a great movie to riff to start this season off with, what makes this episode worthy of their list is who they were able to get to help repair the Sattelite as Joel returned years after leaving the show and the Sattelite, Joel has returned to fix the Sattelite. While fans hoped they would see Joel and Mike riff on a movie in an episode, it was not meant to be. Though they could do riffs together on tours, they did riff on an MST3K Reunion special for Rifftrax, so that's something fantastic for fans like me.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, wherein the camera symbolizes Ed Champion and Andrew Beach placing a Pumpkin and Apple Pie in the oven before closing the door to reveal the Number.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Number 2

(Cut to clips of MST3K episodes "Girl In Gold Boots" & "Final Justice" as James does a voiceover.)

2) "The Girl In Gold Boots" and "Final Justice"

TLOTA (V.O.): 

What I liked about these episodes was how fun they were. Starting off with "The Girl In Gold Boots," imagine "Showgirls" done in the 1960s and without Elizabeth Berkley and Joe Esterhauz (Cut to the clip of "The Girl In Gold Boots" as Crow shouts "MADNESS!" as Mike cries and Tom Servo goes nuts. "IT'S MADNESS! IT'S MADNESS! IT'S! (Screaming madly)."  Cut to the MST3K Episode "The Girl In Gold Boots" clips as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Yeah, this is one of the craziest movies they had to riff. This is partly due to the story arc for Pearl in this season, who was looking to get board-certified as a mad scientist to, you guessed it, Take Over The World! (Cut to James in the Super Mario Bros. Movie review as the Maw-Ray is about to eat him, Mario and Donkey Kong, and James says, "Of Course!" Cut to the MST3K Episode "Final Justice" as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Now, onto "Final Justice," Remember, Mike's Era started with the Joe Don Baker Movie "Mitchell" and how they made fun of Joe Don Baker in "Mitchell" because of how disheveled he was and his eating habits were very much a source of jokes and of course at the end of "Mitchell" Joel escaped. Mike was sure enough sent in his stead. In the "Final Justice" episode, they were Merciless towards Joe Don Baker. By the end of the episode, Mike thought he would get out of the Sattelite because he watched a Joe Don Baker movie. However, when Tom Servo told Mike, they thought Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank would use Method 53 to eliminate Joel. This leads me to wonder why they didn't Mike get upset at the bots for their mistake and why Mike wasn't upset at The MADS for sacrificing what he was doing to be tormented. I will never get the answer to that question. It would've been a great movie to end the series. Thankfully, the number one spot will fill in the spot of the ending, allowing Mike to get closure and find himself after leaving the Sattelite.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, wherein the camera symbolizes Eric Kurtzke placing Baked Potatoes in the oven and closing the door. However, the weight of what's in the oven falls, causing a crater in the Kitchen; it cuts to James looking down in the crater and shouting, "GUYS!" and walking away where the oven is revealing the Number)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

 And the number one moment on Mystery Science Theater 3000 featuring Mike Nelson is...

(Cut to the MST3K finale "Diabolik," "The Film Crew," and "Rifftrax" as James does a voiceover)

1) The end of MST3K as we knew it and life for Mike after MST3K

TLOTA (V.O.):
After a spectacular ten years on TV, MST3K ended with one last riff after futzing around with the Sattelite on a Joystick that breaks; the Sattelite of Love finally begins to reenter the earth, and for the last movie in Mike's Era and for A LONG time it was the final episode ever. With the MADS disbanding after this event, Pearl becomes a mad dictator of Kataar, Bobo gets a job at a Zoo, and Observer is restated somewhere deep in space. The crew in the Sattelite Of Love watched this movie based on an Italian comic book, and the riffs were hilarious. When the riff was over, seeing the Sattelite come crashing down felt symbolic of the end of the series. Had it ended on the white fade, that would've been the saddest ending to a series I would've seen. Thankfully, the bots are now with Mike as "G" becomes a tech billionaire, and Mike and The Bots enjoy life together in a studio flat and continue to riff movies together, that is, until the return of MST3K. As for what happened to Michael J Nelson after MST3K, that is an interesting postscript. A few years after the series ended, Michael, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett joined forces with the people working with the company that was releasing the series on DVD on a new riffing series called "The Film Crew." However, MST3K Co-Creator Jim Mallon was giving Michael and the others Tsouris for "The Film Crew," but sadly, it was short-lived after the events with Jim Mallon. However, Michael J Nelson bounced back after getting a new job at a small production company, which led Michael to contact Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett, and with that, we got the rightful successor to MST3K called "Rifftrax"! And with no Jim Mallon to interfere, "Rifftrax" has flourished, and since then, Michael has done well for himself. Overall, I am glad for Michael for staying his course and discovering how he can keep the Riffing going after leaving the Sattelite of Love and hosting Mystery Science Theater 3000. (Cutting to James physically)

TLOTA:
Are there any MORE moments that I missed? Then let me know in the Comments section. As for the future of MST3K, there is some news about a crowdfunding project. If there is another season, I hope Michael, Kevin, and Bill return to the MST3K groove with Joel, Jonah, and Emily; however, not as Mike and the Bots. I hope Michael has just finished rebuilding the Sattelite to where it's externally and internally, like Jonah's Sattelite with Bill and Kevin. (Static cuts to Kinga Forrester on Moon One.)

Kinga Forrester:
That's a brilliant idea! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Kinga, you have yet to take any movies I wanted to see get riffed.  (Cut to Kinga Forrester on Moon One)

Kinga Forrester:
Well, after getting the money from what we got from replays of the last season and reruns of the classic series to pay Dr. Kabahl every dollar for funding the Gizmoplex and the repairs of the Kingadome, we need this crowdfunding project to succeed if we're going to keep torturing Jonah, Emily, and Joel! Now you want to throw the competition into the mix?! (Kinga has a "Wait a minute" look.) You know, that is a great idea! MAX! Call Earhardt and tell him to get Mike, Bill, and Kevin, AKA the guys from RIFFTRAX in the Sattelite, and do whatever he has to do to get it done. (Cut to James physically)

 

TLOTA:
Oh Crap! I may have made a big-ass boo-boo! ( The MST3K Turkey Day Hymn plays) Now it's Turkey Day Marathon time. Next Month is December, So there will be a gift guide and the top five best moments from this year's The Last Of The Americans run, and a special top ten to celebrate Ten Years' worth of reviewing, The Top Ten BEST reviews of The Last Of The Americans (So Far) to round off this year on December 21st. Until then, I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, and that's my opinion! (James rushes off-screen and then says off-screen, "Crap! Push the button, James!" James pushes the button as the review shuts off; it cuts to Team TLOTA as they continue trying to break through the lock as Professor Hiram Stupidiot finishes getting everyone, including himself, sustenance to keep working.)

Professor Hiram Stupidiot:
I signed up for something else. A couple of -Inators and boom, the West Coast dominated.

TLOTA:
Don't complain, it's not good for your health!

Professor Hiram Stupidiot:
Oh, trust me, I know you can do the whole Kali-Ma Thuggee moment from "Temple Of Doom." I may be a supervillain scientist bent on taking over the entire West Coast, but I know better than to mess with you.

TLOTA:
Good, you can learn. Take what you've learned and try to get ORAC on my side. You know where it is, and you're withholding this knowledge as a bargaining chip for the entire West Coast. It will cost you one day, but get to work for now.  (Cut to a door opening as Professor Hiram Stupidiot enters ORAC's Chamber and is immediately greeted with a swift kick to the jaw.)

Professor Hiram Stupidiot:
Okay, what hit (A Boot steps on Professor Stupidiot's throat, and a Shush is heard, followed by the chamber door closing to reveal The Engineer who has been hiding since seeing the Hologram of James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans appear.)

The Engineer:
That was too close for my taste! (The Engineer picks Professor Hiram Stupidiot up.) So, any news from James or anyone else.

Professor Hiram Stupidiot:
No, and I am as worried about this situation as much as you are. ORAC, anything close to the actual James' signal.

ORAC:
Sadly, I have had no success in finding him. Now, I must ask the salient questions. One, Why are you here, Stupidiot? And Second, what is your name, Engineer?

Professor Hiram Stupidiot:
The actual James has me on a retainer to keep me out of harm's way, and while, yes, I may not be an honest man, but at least I am one hundred percent human, and I won't work for some stinking computer program. Neither will you, uh...

The Engineer:
Call me Doug!

Professor Hiram Stupidiot:
Okay, no offense, but the online world has learned not to trust everyone named Doug! But I digress, what's the next move?

Doug:
We still have some time before the locks are opened, and in trying to keep that AI from taking over, I found a lost review and supplemental review that will buy us some more time before the locks are gone. We must play it close to the chest like James would. I've been using ORAC to let anyone outside those guys on the same transmission frequency to keep anyone close to James on what's happening. (Doug shows Professor Stupidiot what Rowdy is doing on his phone.)

Professor Hiram Stupidiot:
I know him; he goes by Rowdy, and if he thinks I'm with that AI program, let's just say it won't end well. I saw firsthand his reaction to the 2011 World Series. There's a reason I sound like this; that's the reason. Contact his cats and tell them what is really going on. Now, back to the charade. (Professor Hiram Stupidiot walks out of the chamber.) So close, yet so far! (The Chamber closes as it cuts to black)