(Guitar music like “American Idiot” plays as James Faraci and Paulo Fonseca on guitars, Andrew Beach on Bass Guitar, and Nick Lopez on the Drums and the set is like the set of “American Idiot” except the colors are Patriotically Red, White, and Blue)
James Faraci (Singing):
All year we’re cheering American Icons! (Guitars play the tune for three seconds.) Twelve months of heroes of Cinema! (Guitars play the tune for three seconds.) From John Wayne to Rocky Balboa (Guitars play the tune for three seconds.) Oh, hell yeah, we’re talking about them all! (The tune continues) [Chorus] Welcome to the two hundred and fiftieth, hoping we’ll see two fifty-one! And we can finally be Okay! Humans dream of a better tomorrow, knowing it won’t be hollow! For me that’s good enough! (Drums play and the music continues.) We’re going to show off the hard work! (Guitars play the tune for three seconds.) Even if it makes me look like a real jerk. (Guitars play the tune for three seconds.) Now everyone get ready to celebrate with us! (Guitars play the tune for three seconds.) And make sure you have a dose of common sense. (The tune continues) [Chorus] Welcome to the two hundred and fiftieth, hoping we’ll see two fifty-one! And we can finally be Okay! Humans dream of a better tomorrow, knowing it won’t be hollow! For me that’s good enough! (Drums play and the music continues with a guitar solo.) All year we’re cheering American Icons! Twelve months of heroes of Cinema! Information about them will be a lot, you’re going to know whether you like or not [Chorus] Welcome to the two hundred and fiftieth, hoping we’ll see two fifty-one! And we can finally be Okay! Humans dream of a better tomorrow, knowing it won’t be hollow! For me that’s good enough! (Drums play and the music continues and concludes and the words “Americans Icons” are put up in different styles of text. The scene cuts to James as he tries to contact Todd In The Shadows. Cut to Todd In The Shadows)
Todd In The Shadows:
Hello? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Hey Todd, I could use some help. (Cut to Todd In The Shadows.)
Todd In The Shadows:
Let me guess, you want to review a musical featuring John Wayne. Or if I know where one is? And before you ask, YES, I am aware of your three-month John Wayne bullshit and twelve months of propaganda about “Real Icons” of “American Cinema,” and all that bullshit. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
What I’m reviewing right now is an album BY John Wayne. Maybe you and I could team up? (Cut to Todd In The Shadows)
Todd In The Shadows:
Give me a moment to listen through, in the meantime, do some research, and we’ll meet back in an hour or two from now. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Okay. (Cut to a black screen and the words “Two Hours Later,” Cut to James as he contacts Todd In The Shadows. Cut to Todd In The Shadows laughing uproariously, even banging on his keyboard and falling out of frame. Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Okay, so I am doing this alone. (Cut to clips and stills of John Wayne as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
In 1973, John Wayne recorded an album with him speaking poems written by John Mitchum, the brother of legendary actor Robert Mitchum. But does it deserve to be laughed at by EVERYONE who thinks that it’s no different than a William Shatner album? Or is it just something that must be heard to be understood? (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
So let’s listen to the only album by John Wayne: “America, Why I Love Her.” (Cut to clips and stills of John Wayne as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
The year is 1970, and John Wayne is working on the movie “Chisum” and on a break with Forrest Tucker, when he overheard John Mitchum performing one of his poems. Forrest Tucker asked Mitchum to perform the poem to John Wayne and halfway through the performance John Wayne was in tears from what he heard, according to reports John Wayne told Mitchum that he was going to record an album of Mitchum's poetry. Billy Liebert sat behind the mixing board with an orchestra and a chorus backing John. In interviews for the album, Wayne explained that he liked the material and that he thinks and writes like he wishes he could, which could foster rapport among everyone in this country. (Cut to James Physically)
TLOTA:
And yeah, for those who are my nieces and great nieces’ generation, who don’t think in any way about John Wayne, that would sound like a good thing for us to come together instead of acting like we do now. When it was released, it was a success, reaching the Billboard Charts for 16 weeks, peaking at 66 on the pop charts and 13 on the country charts. The critical response was mixed and leaning towards positive, with some having this reaction. (Cut to Todd In The Shadows as he continues to laugh out of control. Cut to James.) But it earned John a Grammy Nomination for best spoken word album. (Cut to clips and stills of John Wayne as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Let’s start with the title track, "Why I Love Her.” (Cut to clips of John Wayne as audio of “Why I Love Her.” plays over the clips of John Wayne. Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
There are patriotic tones in the word, but it wasn’t like someone who I will not mention, and the fact that he talked about the great sights that I think we take for granted, and for those wondering what the chorus is singing, it’s called “America The Beautiful” or at least the chorus of the song. The next track is called "The Hyphen,” and it talks about what the hyphen can mean both positively and negatively (Cut to clips of John Wayne as audio of “The Hyphen" as clips of John Wayne play. Cut to James physically.) This really does have thought-provoking tones about what the hyphen can mean both positively and negatively, and keep in mind that we were in the depths of the tail end of the Cold War, we had just gotten demoralized with Vietnam, and the glory days of the 1950s were decades behind us. The hyphen itself should be a bridge to connect us. Next up is “Mis Raices Estan Aqui (My Roots Are Buried Here).” (Cut to clips of John Wayne as audio of “Mis Raices Estan Aqui (My Roots Are Buried Here)” plays over clips of John Wayne.) It is a story about the last of a family in Mexico deciding to stay because it’s a part of his history and how he has lived in peace and how it is his heritage that he has protected, and that is something to be proud of, to live in peace and ready to stand up to defend it if it had to happen. If only we could be like that now. Next up, aside from the title track, is the other song John Wayne loved the most on the album, “The People.” While it mentions names like Louis Armstrong, Marion Anderson, Jack Dempsey, Fred Astaire, Sandy Koufax, Billy Graham, Jesse Owens, Merle Haggard, Bing Crosby, Charles Lindbergh, Willie Mays, Jonas Salk, Kate Smith, Irving Berlin, and Johnny Cash. (Cut to clips of John Wayne as audio of “The People” plays over the clips. Cut to James physically.) Before we continue, let me see if Todd In The Shadows is even okay at this point. (Static cuts to Nash Bozard.)
Nash Bozard of “Radio Dead Air” and “WTFIWWY”:
Hello? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Nash Bozard of WTFIWWY/Radio Dead Air? Where’s Todd In The Shadows? (Cut to Nash)
Nash Bozard of “Radio Dead Air” and “WTFIWWY”:
Yeah, I piggybacked off his frequency when I decided to check on Todd when I saw him just laugh uncontrollably. Currently, he’s in a hospital for extreme dehydration and lack of oxygen, and loss of bowel function. Did you have something to do with it? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
All I did was ask if he would like to crossover with me. (Cut to Nash)
Nash Bozard of “Radio Dead Air” and “WTFIWWY”:
What was the subject of the crossover? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
It’s an album called “America, Why I Love Her” by John Wayne. (Cut to Nash)
Nash Bozard of “Radio Dead Air” and “WTFIWWY”:
John Wayne, the old racist and sexist cowboy actor, made an album called “America, Why I Love Her.” Well, I can see why Todd is currently in the hospital. Because that must be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard in my LIFE! (Nash begins to laugh uncontrollably and falls out of his chair! Cut to John Wayne clips as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
We’re halfway through as we head into “An American Boy Grows Up,” like “Mis Raices Estan Aqui (My Roots Are Buried Here)” is a story-based track. (Cut to clips of John Wayne as audio of “An American Boy Grows Up” plays over the clips. Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
You can tell this is a story about a father talking about his boy, who grew up to become a man who tried to be the best in both scholastics and athletics, and became a soldier who avoided the draft by enlisting and promising to return. This is a stark contrast to a song like “Billy Don’t Be A Hero,” which tells of a young man volunteering to join the Armed Forces on a mission. While serving, Poor Billy loses his life, and his family is heartbroken, and his fiancée just forgets he exists. Come to think about it, “America, Why I Love Her” came out just about the same time the song “Billy, Don’t Be A Hero” came out. Maybe it was a pre-emptive strike against “Billy, Don’t Be A Hero.” (Cut to John Wayne clips as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Next up is “Face The Flag,” a song that has John play a father, possibly a grandfather, telling the current generation to face the flag and see that our history is held together by the thirteen stripes of red and white and the fifty stars on a blue patch. (Cut to clips of John Wayne as audio of “Face The Flag” plays over the clips. Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
It’s the most patriotic track on the album so far; it also shows that John understands what it was like at that time. John also understands that we need to understand the flag's history, its meaning, and what could happen if we forget what it means. (Cut to John Wayne clips as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
The next track on the album is called "The Good Things.” This track basically predicted what our news is now and reminds us of the good news that we don’t hear in the news. (Cut to clips of John Wayne as audio of “The Good Things" plays over the clips. Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
It’s a reminder that good things do happen, and life can move forward even when it looks like we’re all about to be taken down. Before I continue, let me check in on Nash and Todd, if they’re okay. (Static cuts to Rowdy.)
Rowdy:
Hey James, I just got a contact from Nash and Todd In The Shadows. They just wanted to let you know it took everything I knew about you to keep you in their good graces. Can I ask why that is? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
I needed a partner to review an album. (Cut to Rowdy)
Rowdy:
What’s it called? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
It’s called “America, Why I Love Her” by John Wayne. (Cut to Rowdy laughing outrageously. Cut to clips of John Wayne as James does a voiceover after sighing.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Next up on the album is “The Pledge Of Allegiance”. It, of course, has the Pledge of Allegiance, which I think the current generation has forgotten to have in school. If not, let me know in the comments section. It also has John’s understanding as to what every part of that means, and I understand what it means to be American and what it should mean for us. (Cut to clips of John Wayne as “The Pledge Of Allegiance” plays over the clips. Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
It does help you understand what the Pledge Of Allegiance means and what it should mean to us. (Cut to clips of John Wayne as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
We’re coming up on the homestretch as we continue this look with the track “Why are you marching, son?” It, of course, is about a soldier and what it means to serve the country with honor. And while yes, it never talks about the mentally unstable and doesn’t go into that. It didn’t need to. I understand that going through things like Vietnam, Desert Storm, and what happened in the Middle East, and the veterans from all these wars can cause people to have issues. I’m sure even John Wayne understood it, while yes he did apply to the Naval Academy when he was a kid and was rejected because of Poor grades, he wanted to enlist when World War II happened but was rejected because of his age and the fact he had a family, He asked John Ford to help him get into the army but Republic Studios threatened John with a costly Law Suit. He almost became the first celebrity member of what would be the C.I.A.! But because he couldn’t serve during that time, he thought he couldn’t understand what it was like. Which strengthened his patriotism, just to make up for his inability to serve. (Cut to clips of John Wayne as “Why are you marching, son?” plays over the clips. Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
One last track and maybe, just maybe, I can try to turn the laughs into open ears. (Cut to clips of John Wayne as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
The album ends with a piece called "Taps,” which does include that track, and it sets a solid end to what this album is about. It’s also the darkest piece on the album. It does tell what the cost of our freedom is and has been. It tells that the sacrifices of those who gave us the freedom this generation seems to squander, all because we follow the wrong path, and it also tells the story behind the song “TAPS.” (Cut to John Wayne as “TAPS” plays over the clips. Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
It ends the album with a patriotic yet melancholy feeling. As if for all John was trying to tell us, he tried to tell us this history, and now he must wonder if we heard what was said to us. (Cut to clips of John Wayne as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
So that was “America, Why I Love Her.” John Wayne’s first and only album, and despite the derision, I enjoyed this album. Its intent is not lost for those who feel patriotic. But for those who may have lost that spirit to find it again. It allows for conversation on what it means to be patriotic and American. If you are interested, it’s available on iTunes, Amazon Music, and other digital music selling sites, and free on YouTube Music. Give it a listen and try to keep an open mind for at least half of the way through the album. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And while I may have been dealing with the derision from some of my associates during this review. (Static cuts to Todd In The Shadows.)
Todd In The Shadows:
Uh, James, I just wanted to apologize for laughing. It was rude. I know you were trying in earnest to at least give me a chance to listen and review this album with you, and I wanted to apologize again. (Cut to Nash Bozard from WTFIWWY/ Radio Dead Air)
Nash Bozard of “Radio Dead Air” and “WTFIWWY”:
Yeah, I need to apologize as well. I understand what it is you were trying to do, but that doesn’t mean I agree with your thoughts on John Wayne and this album. (Cut to Rowdy)
Rowdy:
And I need to apologize for laughing at you. I understand that, being 2026, this is the 250th anniversary of this country, and that someone should celebrate the things that once made it great. And someone out there calling themselves “The Last Of The Americans” needs to celebrate this country for all the good and bad. (Cut to James.)
TLOTA:
I accept your apologies. Next up, what happens when John Wayne tries to star, produce, and direct a movie, come back March 6th on the 190th anniversary of the event that the movie is about! (Cut to Rowdy as he puts on a card dealer’s hat)
Rowdy:
Okay everyone, it’s betting time, How long will it take for James to see if John Wayne is going to make a Western version of “The Room.” The under is before the halfway point of the review, and the over is at the point where he gives his thoughts on the movie! (Cut to various internet reviewers and James’s team who are saying how much it will be for the under and over. Cut to James physically as the audio is that of everyone betting the over or under.)
TLOTA:
See everyone on March 6th, I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and you know the rest!
