(The Scene begins with a woodpecker; it then cuts to a sawmill as we see blades being sharpened; then to the outskirts of a town with the sign “Welcome to Triple Crest, Minnesota.” and over the triple crests that seem to meet in harmony with the background and the words “The Last Of The Americans presents: Monstertober 2025.” appear in the foreground in the same text style as “Twin Peaks.”)
(With the scenes mirroring the introduction to “Twin Peaks” as it shows the cast which includes “James Faraci,” “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca," "Rebecca and Nick Yaun,” “Renee Miller,” “Andrew Beach,” Doug Yaun,” “Olivia Horvath,” “Eric Kurtzke,” “Crosslyn Castillo,” “Nick Lopez,” “Jessica Lopez-Barkl,” “Angelina Morelli,” “Phil Leviste,” ”Joe Colon,” “And Allysia Watts as Sgt Nicolette Angelinas,” “Special Guest Star Lewis Lovhaug as Linkara)
(The introduction scenes continue to mirror the “Twin Peaks” intro which shows the crew which includes “Produced by First Choice Entertainment Productions and Manic-Expression.com” “Executive Producers: James Faraci, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Olivia Horvath”; “Editing by Eric Kurtzke and James Faraci”; “Written and Directed by James Faraci”. The Intro ends with James dressed in “Halloween Mode” on a bus, looking over a file, then James’s phone starts ringing.)
TLOTA:
Hello, James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans. (Cut to Linkara in his basement)
Linkara:
Hey James, so you’re going to be in my neck of the woods. (Cut to James on the bus)
TLOTA:
Yeah, I’m going to Triple Crest, Minnesota, to solve the long unsolved murder of Tara Lovhaug. (Cut to Linkara)
Linkara:
Wait, Triple Crest? Tara Lovhaug? (Cut to James on the bus)
TLOTA:
Yeah, I mean if you want to be a part of it, I’ll make sure you get credit for the discovery, but no crossovers! (Cut to Linkara.)
Linkara:
How far away are you from Triple Crest? (Cut to James on the bus)
TLOTA:
I just crossed the border now! Linkara? Linkara? Damnit! (A voice behind him says, “Something wrong?” and James turns back to see in the seat behind him a woman looking at some files. Cut to James looking over the chair.)
TLOTA:
Let me guess, you’re trying to solve the murder of Tara Lovhaug as well? (Cut to the woman)
The Woman:
What’s it to you? (Cut to James looking over the chair)
TLOTA:
I’m an internet reviewer with a passion to solve a mystery. I’m James... (Cut to the woman)
The Woman:
[Interrupting] James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, currently residing in Liberty, NY, studying at SUNY Sullivan Community College for a Computer Graphics/Graphic Arts degree, graduated in 2025 from SUNY Sullivan in the Media Arts Department with High Honors, and graduated from Sullivan County BOCES with a Presidential Academic Achievement Award. (Cut to James looking over the chair.)
TLOTA:
Okay, so you know about me? Who are you? (Cut to the inside of the J. Edgar Hoover FBI Building as a shadow of a female agent walks in as “Goody Two-Shoes” from Adam Ant plays, which then cuts to events about who the woman is in a montage of events as explained by her.)
The Woman (Voiceover):
My Name is Nicolette Angelinas, Born and Schooled in West Virginia. Graduated from West Virgina University 1999 with a master's in criminal justice, psychology, politics and sociology, and having passed the bar to perform as an attorney, I took several years at the Police Academy in West Virginia, passing all necessary courses to graduate with honorable distinction and accepted into the Federal Bureau of Investigations of the United States in 2003 with a record five hundred thousand unsubs captured, established myself as a popular law enforcement officer in the Quantico community and the residing neighborhoods. Continuing to improve the FBI’s efficiency in chases on foot and in a car. Received multiple awards for my work in the field and in the office with impressive success. Though I have sustained numerous injuries in the line of duty, most recently a shot through the leg by a madman dressed as a combination of Trump and Uncle Sam! (Cut to James as Nicolette Angelinas moves next to James with her files matching James’.)
TLOTA:
So what brings you out here?
Nicolette Angelinas:
An assignment, Former agent Dane Crooper was last seen in the town trying to solve the Murder thirty-five years ago. Apparently, he went mad, lost himself, and didn’t solve the case. Now, I am to be integrated as a sergeant in the town’s police force. These are some of the people I will be working with... (Cut to moments of introducing the other characters as Nicolette Angelinas does a voiceover.)
Nicolette Angelinas (V.O.):
Officers Donna Snatcher, Bill Runner, The Randys (Detective Randy Brendan and Detective Randi Cartmel), Desk Sergeants Carter (Fraternal Twins), Chic Oxnard, Jessie Hewlitt & Packard, Officer Ladybird Johnson and her father, and their Chief Lyndon B Johnson. (Cut to James and Nicolette on the bus.)
TLOTA:
[Beat] So basically, they make Rosco P. Coltraine, Elroy P. Lobo, and every other incompetent lawman from a series look like Einstein gave The Three Stooges intelligence boosters.
Nicolette Angelinas:
Yeah. (Cut to the bus as it stops in town. James and Nicolette stand on the ground as James’ phone rings.)
TLOTA:
Hello James Faraci, The... (Cut to James’ team)
Jessica Lopez-Barkl:
James, we got this call from someone named Linkara, and he seemed less than happy to hear you’re in his neck of the woods. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Look, I just got off the bus. If he wants to help, then he can drag his lazy tuchus from that basement of his and get it here to help me. I am going to settle into the nearby hotel with my newly assigned associate, Sgt. Angelinas, and according to certain sites, the hotel is adjacent to the restaurant, which has great apple pie and the best damned cup of hot cocoa, coffee, and tea! (Zoom cuts to James and Nicolette Angelinas as they come to the lobby.)
Nicolette Angelinas:
Nicolette Angelinas
TLOTA:
James Faraci (Cut to the one-eyed hotel owner played by Jamie Brooks)
The One-Eyed Hotel Owner:
So glad you’ve made it right on time for check-in, NAZI! (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Excuse me? (Cut to the One-Eyed Hotel Owner)
The One-Eyed Hotel Owner:
Nazi! A bad thing, five letters. Seven down (James looks at the crossword.)
TLOTA:
Oh, I think you may have mispronounced it, it’s pronounced "Nasty,” and is spelled N-a-s-t-y, BITCH! (Cut to Nicolette and The One-Eyed Hotel Owner are insulted and tell James off as James stands there looking and pointing at the crossword puzzle.) Slang for a female Dog, five letters, eight across. (The two look and go “OH!” Nicolette, realizing he didn’t mean it. Cut to James and Nicolette as they discover they have adjoining rooms in the cabin they’re assigned.)
TLOTA (Audio only):
Nice Flower!
Nicolette Angelinas:
It’s an Anthurium. So, the restaurant that you said was “Adjacent” is on the same road, just a few miles away. (James walks into the room.)
TLOTA:
It’s called the “Quintuple A,” and it’s a ten-minute walk; we’ll get in plenty of steps, think about that.
Nicolette Angelinas:
Before we go any further, I should let you know that I am a lesbian!
TLOTA:
That’s fine with me; I have family members who are a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Besides, I’m not interested in anything right now, except for one thing, a good meal for us to enjoy as friends. (Cut to James and Nicolette as they enter the restaurant and take a booth, and see everyone eating the pie and drinking the coffee, tea, and hot cocoa, and everyone looks and cheers their arrival.)
Nicolette Angelinas:
We were expected.
TLOTA:
Do you think? (The Chief of Police Lyndon B. Johnson, played by Joe Colon, walks in.)
Chief L.B.J.:
Welcome, a little earlier than we expected, but you are expected. Please join us for some pie and coffee, tea, or hot cocoa! Oh, and here’s our church’s reverend! (The Reverend, played by Joseph Poon, walks up and shakes their hands.)
The Reverend:
Reverend Sun Jung Moon for all your spiritual needs. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Well, if you need someone to recite some of the good words from the Bible, I’ll have a Bible-beating revival sermon that will have the congregation shouting 'Amen' and 'Hallelujah!' (Cut to Everyone as they go quiet.) Cut to James.) Okay, so you don’t believe in the Christian/Catholic God, that’s okay... (James pulls out a Yarmulke) I can go Kosher! (Hava Nagila plays quickly as everyone is still quiet. Cut to James as he stands there looking stupid.) Okay, if it’s a Western religion or a religion I know little about, I’m going to have to attend a service to see what you’re about. (Cut to James and Sgt. Angelinas sitting in the pew with everyone else, as naked as a jaybird. James looks horrified as Reverend Sun Jung Moon makes weird noises and strange dancing movements that terrify James and Sgt. Angelinas, which culminates in Reverend Sun Jung Moon taking the blood of the whole herd of lambs and splashing it on the congregation! Cut to James and Sgt. Angelinas, as they sit hours later with an invite to the dramatic conservatory to their interpretation of “Romeo and Juliet.”)
TLOTA:
So tonight, you find a date for yourself. Me I am going to stay here.
Nicolette Angelinas:
There’s no way I am going alone to this thing with you just to sit through whatever their idea of “Romeo and Juliet” is. (Cut to the two as they sit, then cuts to the stage as Cirque De Soleil style imagery is shown, and the on-stage actors do a version of the Baz Luhrmann “Romeo + Juliet” with worse acting than the performance done in Sanford, England. Cut to the restaurant as everyone else cheers the performance, and James and Nicolette are sitting in a booth with some water.)
TLOTA:
Get ready to see some of the best acting you’ll see all night. (James gets up and joins the crowd cheering for the main actors who played “Romeo” & “Juliet,” played by Nick Yaun and Rebecca Yaun) Bravissimo! If William Shakespeare were here, he’d be rolling (Turns towards the audience and mouths “In His Grave to cause a whopper of an earthquake” then turns back to the actors) in the aisle. (A man, played by Paulo Fonseca, walks up menacingly.)
The menacing man:
Brilliant acting, worthy of The Bard himself! If we were to open those heads of yours, we’d find all sorts of interesting moments. (James looks nervous around him, and Nicolette Angelinas walks up to introduce herself and James to him.) Oh well, please do lock me up! I’m a killer! (Cut to James and Nicolette as they look at one another. Cut back to the man.) Of high prices. Steven Schiller, the owner of the local Supermarche, please drop in anytime, my prices are criminal! Catch me later! (Cut to James and Nicolette as they both conclude that he is the prime suspect number one in the murder of Tara Lovhaug. Cut to the two as they head back with slices of Pie and Coffee for Nicolette and Hot Cocoa for James.)
Nicolette Angelinas (Audio only):
I need to put the inebriate we found urinating on the car up at the cell in the precinct jail, then I’m going to sleep.
TLOTA:
[Beat] I’m going to clean my mind with a movie. (Cut to the TV turns on and “Sinners” starts. Cut to James.) Okay then, let’s do it! (Cut to clips of “Sinners” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Released earlier this year, “Sinners” is a tale of two brothers trying to leave a dark part of their past behind them, only to know that they’ve got bigger demons to fight, in more ways than one! And with an all-star cast that includes some of the cast and crew from the “Creed” movies, is this enough to have put Hollywood in survival mode, or will they atone for their stupidity? (Cut to James in the hotel room.)
TLOTA:
Let’s not waste any time, especially since I’ve got a case to solve. This is “Sinners.” (Cut to “Sinners” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
The movie opens as we’re introduced to identical twins named Smoke and Stack, who served in World War I, somehow avoiding Diana of Themyscira. Both are played by Michael B. Jordan as they return home to Mississippi after a brief stint in Chicago, specifically the prison section of the city. But after getting some money, they get out of the windy city tout de suite! Coming home, they discover an old sawmill and decide to turn it into a venue where they can host music for their community. (Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
Sounds like a positive thing, if things don’t go wrong. How quickly does it go bad? (Cut to a scene of the movie as a bell rings and the words “Opening night.” Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
No Surprise (Cut to “Sinners” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Bringing in locals like Delta Slim played by Delroy Lindo, as well as Bo Chow and his wife Grace played by Yao and Li Jun Li, Cornbread [Yes, that is the character’s name] played by Omar Benson Miller and Smoke’s wife Annie, played by Wunmi Mosaku, to do Hoodoo to protect the club and cook the chow for the place. Meanwhile, we’re introduced to Mary, played by Hailee Steinfeld, who has issues with Stack and their father, a God-fearing pastor who finds the music genre they’re promoting to be the work of the devil. (Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
They should be glad that this guy isn’t their father! (Cut to every clip of Christopher Mattling in “The Dead Talk Back” as he tries to talk about God, the Bible, and the Devil. Cut to “Sinners” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
While the boys are setting up the place, an Irish Immigrant who just so happens to be a Vampire named Remmick, played by Jack O’Connell, finds a knuckleheaded clucker couple to transform into part of his clan! As opening night approaches, the joint is filled with the spirits of the past and future, preparing to join everyone. The side effect is that it invites the Vampires. And sure enough, they got Mary, and while Stack is looking at the greenbacks and thinking about using them to help pay the staff and for the patrons instead of Company Scrip, Smoke is being cautious about it. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Why? If you can make a profit, take whatever cash you can get! (Cut to “Sinners” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Mary then gets her fangs onto Stack as Sammie and Smoke see what’s happening. Hoping that a bullet will put Mary out of existence, however, it does bupkis, realizing that Smoke makes like his name and blows, leaving his now turned brother as Remnick gets his hands on Cornbread! Fearing for the patrons, Smoke tells everyone it’s last call, even though it’s only 9 PM. However, that doesn’t turn out well either, as the patrons are turned and Stack is revived now as a Vampire. Annie comes out to stop the conversation with a little help from pickled Garlic brine! (Cut to the clip of Seth Gecko in “From Dusk Till Dawn” saying, “Now, can we all agree that we’re dealing with Vampires ?” Cut to “Sinners” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Annie, knowing what to do next, thinks to tell those who have not been turned to fight off those who are. However, if Remnick is still alive, he’s going to be a thorn in the side of Smoke. Remnick offers everyone, if he’s allowed to enter, to make everyone in there into one of them to be free of persecution and to be immortal, summoning the spirits of his clan, and that Hogwood is the Grand Wizard of the Klan, and they’re going to attack at dawn! (Cut to James physically.)
TLOTA:
I’ve already said what I needed to say reference-wise, so let’s move on. (Cut to “Sinners” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
Refusing pisses Remnick off to no end, and he threatens to Chow down on the Chow’s Daughter, Lisa, and if I were in the Chow’s shoes, well, let’s say Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee combined would have nothing on me! Grace invites them in for a fight that ends with Grace, Bo, Annie, and Delta Slim getting killed. Sammie finally gets courageous enough to join the fight, and wouldn’t you know it, morning has broken, like the first dawning, though Mary escapes and Remnick turns Pearline, Smoke defeats Stack, though Hogwood and his men do kill Smoke, and while they are stopped, Smoke reunites with his family in the afterlife. And the movie ends with Sammie heading to Chicago, cutting to 1992, Sammie is now a successful blues musician, visited by Stack and Mary as he tells them that the night haunts him, but was the best, Stack agrees with that, except both he and Mary haven’t seen the light of day since, but for that moment, they were free. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And that was “Sinners,” no wonder Hollywood feared it. (Cut to clips of “Sinners” as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (V.O.):
It was original; it was not connected to a shared universe. It had a story, characters, a plot, and was scary enough to scare a person. It had enough to make it a successful movie. I loved the action; I loved the music choices, and Michael B Jordan as the glue that kept the movie flowing. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend checking it out this Halloween for not only something different but also something that's scary and shockingly awesome! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: Now I am going to take it easy with some Hot Cocoa and Apple pie! (James has both, and as James begins to say his ending catchphrase, James collapses. James wakes up inside a Red Room as he sees someone making some erratic movements, and James decides to sit down as the scene fades to black.)
