The Top Ten moments of Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank on MST3K

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words "The Last Of The Americans" on it before cutting to James in his office physically)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and the views I'm about to express are that of my own & some of yours.  And like a phoenix, MST3K is rising from the ashes of the fires of cancellation once again.  (Cut to the MST3K 2021 crowdfunding videos as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
However, this time around, instead of the team going to Netflix or some other streaming channel, this time they're making their own streaming app called The Gizmoplex which will be available on streaming services, and when it does, I am hoping they will do some incredible moments especially with the MADS Dr. Kinga Forrester and T.V.'s Max, Son Of T.V.'s Frank played by Felicia Day & Patton Oswald. Now let me make this clear, I have nothing against Kinga and T.V.'s Max, Son of T.V.'s Frank, or Pearl Forrester, Bobo and Brain Guy; however, when I think of the MADS (The guys in charge of sending the bad movie to Joel or Mike and tormenting either of them seeing if they will psychologically break.) I think of Dr. Clayton Forrester, played by Trace Beaulieu, and T.V.'s Frank, played by Frank Conniff. These were two very vitriolic towards each other and towards Joel or Mike. While they would fail miserably in breaking either Joel or Mike, they were entertaining in all the ways they did make Joel or Mike watch the movies, and today, I am celebrating both of them (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
There will be cheats at the ten and one spot on this list; spoilers will happen, and anything I can add to the moment I will talk about. With that said, let's see the top ten moments of Dr. Clayton Forrester and T.V.'s Frank on MST3K.

(Cut to a field as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground, and a camera looks around, and Dr. Clayton Forrester pops up shouting "FRANK!" and starts shooting, and The camera drops. Cut to the inside of an oven where what the camera symbolizes and Dr. Clayton Forrester puts T.V.'s Frank's head looking in before closing the door and the words "Top 10 moments of Dr. Clayton Forrester and T.V.'s Frank on Mystery Science Theater 3000" are shown and Dr. Forrester closes the door revealing the Number.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Number 10

(Cut to clips of the MST3K episodes "The Crawling Eye" & "Rocketship X.M." as James does a voiceover)

10) Meeting both Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank

TLOTA (V.O.):
I know that the pilot and the second season premiere are different from night and day, but there is a reason for it being here. When we meet Dr. Forrester, played by Trace Beaulieu, he has dignity as he tries to break Joel Robinson, played by Joel Hodgson, and he had someone who did well as a partner for Dr. Forrester, Dr. Laurence Erhardt played by J. Elvis Weinstein however after that first season something happened to J. Elvis Weinstein that said to him that he needed to leave. His departure left two prominent roles to replace. The first one was filled automatically by T.V.'s Frank, played by Frank Conniff, and the replacement voice, which became the definitive voice of Tom Servo Kevin Murphy.  This actually worked better because instead of an equal like Dr. Erhardt, TV's Frank was the perfect foil driving Dr. Forrester nuts, but still, there would be something that kept the two together as long as they did.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground where what the camera symbolizes and T.V.'s Frank looking in and using a Bulb Baster in the oven and Dr. Forrester shouting "FRANK!" as he closes the door revealing the Number.) 

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 9

(Cut to clips of the MST3K episode "Gamera" as James does a voiceover)

9) Their least successful experiment, "Gamera."

TLOTA (V.O.):
Let me explain; yeah, this movie was terrible, and Kenny drove me mad as well. However, at the end of the film. Joel and the bots were sad and had their riffs in. And while the MADS' impact is minimal. What made it clear is that the movie would be the first of many, MANY rounds with the super Kaiju turtle, and it would be up to Forrester and Frank to keep the crazy movies featuring him going and as the films went and on. You can see the failures of these movies hurting Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank and having to up their torment game.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground where what the camera symbolizes and Dr. Forrester putting in a Dressing dish with T.V.'s Frank brains in the oven and closing the door revealing the Number.) 

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 8

(Cut to clips of the MST3K "Turkey Day '91" as James does a voiceover)

8) The First MST3K Turkey Day Marathon

TLOTA (V.O.):
Frank tries to prepare a Thanksgiving feast with guests like The Mole People, The Plant Guy, and one VERY drunk Jack Perkins. All the while, Dr. Forrester is trying to break us with endless episodes of MST3K. While Frank does end the experiment for Clayton, it does end with our duo acting the way they would at the end of the holiday. This showed our pair in a more domesticated light but still seeing Clayton unable to stop even during Thanksgiving. But I say enjoy these clips on YouTube. Speaking of YouTube, feel free to join me at the number 7 spot for the next moment.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground  where what the camera symbolizes and T.V.'s Frank putting in their homemade Croissant Rolls in the oven in the oven and Dr. Forrester shouting "FRANK!" as he closes the door revealing the Number.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 7

(Cut to clips of the MST3K Vol. 10.2 upgrade seminar as James does a voiceover)

7)The MST3K Vol. 10.2 upgrade seminar

TLOTA (V.O.):
For a fan like me, seeing Joel, Trace, and Frank return to MST3K was fantastic, but there's a bit that needs to be discussed. Here's the scenario. Best Brains and Rhino entertainment, The then distributors of the MST3K DVD collections, screwed the pooch as they failed to get the rights to a Godzilla movie that the gang had riffed. Then they had to replace it with The Giant Gila Monster, and to help Joel put the red jumpsuit back on, Trace performed Crow once again, and this time Frank Conniff performed as Tom Servo to help make sure this problem was rectified. However, seeing them return at that point, just to save Rhino and Jim Mallon instead of maybe I don't know trying to iron out the issues, but still, any moment that had Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank return is worthy of this list.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground where what the camera symbolizes and Dr. Forrester puts in a Green Bean Casserole smothered in T.V.'s Frank's shattered skull in the oven and closing the door revealing the Number.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 6

(Cut to clips of the MST3K episode "Village Of The Giants" as James does a voiceover)

6) Frank gets fired from the episode: "Village Of The Giants." 

TLOTA (V.O.):
Apparently, keeping a guy trapped on a Satellite and forcing him to endlessly endure one bad movie after another is becoming pricey. Specific cuts had to be done to the budget. Therefore Frank was fired from his duties as Dr. Forrester's henchman. While Frank was slumming it until he was replaced by Torgo from "MANOS: The Hands of Fate," it isn't until the end of the third act that he finally decided to fight to get his job back. By the end of the episode, and Frank returned to work as Dr. Forrester's lackey. While it was fun to see what it would be like for Frank to fight for what he deserved and what he deserved was to be employed by Dr. Forrester and help torment Mike with Dr. Forrester. And this wouldn't be the last time saying goodbye will be on this list.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground where what the camera symbolizes and T.V.'s Frank moving the Stuffing over and placing a Sweet Potato Pie in the oven in the oven and Dr. Forrester shouting "FRANK!" as he closes the door revealing the Number.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 5

(Cut to clips of the MST3K episode "Mitchell" as James does a voiceover)

5) Joel's escape from the Satellite Of Love from the episode: "Mitchell."

(Show the clip of Dr. Forrester shouting, "WHAT?! JOEL ESCAPED FROM THE SATELLITE OF LOVE?!" Cut to the MST3K episode "Mitchell" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
We all know the backstory about how Joel was leaving after this episode but what put this episode here is the transition of the hosts and the story in the episode. As Joel is thinking, "Okay, this is just another experiment, nothing too big or bad." Gypsy, as performed as Jim Mallon, intercepts a call from Frank & Forrester.  While Gypsy is thinking that after failure after failure of trying to break Joel. The two are going to kill Joel instead. However, if Gypsy had opened the contact earlier, Gypsy would realize Forrester and Frank were talking about Mike Nelson, played by Michael J Nelson. With Gypsy having to find a way to save Joel. Gypsy calls Mike to set the release of Joel back to our world. However, when the MADS try to rescue Joel and shove Joel back on board, it's a moot point as Joel landed in the Australian outback. (Cut to the ending of the episode as Dr. Forrester and Frank look at Mike, and the two laugh and choose him to send up to the Satellite Of Love. Cut to the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
It was a great episode and an excellent moment for Joel, Forrester, and Frank.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground where what the camera symbolizes and Dr. Forrester moving the Croissant Rolls and placing in a tray of 100 Pigs In A Blanket made from T.V.'s Frank's organ meat in the oven and closing the door revealing the Number.) 

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 4

(Cut to clips of the MST3K episode "The Castle Of Fu Manchu" as James does a voiceover)

4) The second closest victory Forrester and Frank would have: "The Castle Of Fu Manchu."

TLOTA (V.O.):
I've already discussed how this episode nearly broke Joel and the bots in my Top ten worst episodes of MST3K list but seeing Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank enjoy every soul-crushing moment of Joel and the bots as they try to riff and make jokes only to have the trio ultimately wind up crying in agony is something I can relate to. But just when it looks like Dr. Forrester and Frank will win, Joel gives them the biggest Screw You Two Blue Moment as Dr. Forrester, and T.V.'s Frank try to riff on "Castle Of Fu Manchu" badly, might I add, This moment happens. (Cut to the clip of Frank saying, "You know we could've made funny comments, but the movie wasn't that good." and the ending of the episode. Cut to clips of the episode as James doing a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
An excellent ending to let us know that even as close to victory as they got but at the number two spot, the two really got their most significant victory

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground where what the camera symbolizes and T.V.'s Frank as He places corn in the oven and Dr. Forrester shouting "FRANK!" as he closes the door revealing the Number.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 3

(Cut to clips of the MST3K episode "MANOS: The Hands Of Fate" as James does a voiceover)

3) The one that Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank apologized for: "Manos: The Hands Of Fate."

TLOTA (V.O.):
It was interesting how this movie is the only experiment the two actually apologized for sending to Joel and The Bots! Think about it, out of all the movies which included "Monster A-Go-Go," "The Sidehackers," "Catalina Caper," "The Castle Of Fu Manchu," "Attack Of The Eye Creatures," "EEGAH!", EVERY SINGLE EXPERIMENT THAT JOEL HAD TO ENDURE, AND DR. FORRESTER & T.V.'s FRANK NEVER APOLOGIZED FOR THEM! It was THIS movie which, in the grand scheme of films, is not the worst movie Joel and the bots had to endure, and it is this movie that they apologize. Okay, granted, these apologies happen at different times, but still, it was a nice gesture to know that even Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank have their limits as to where they'll go to get the win over Joel and The Bots. However, speaking of their biggest successes.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground where what the camera symbolizes and Dr. Forrester placing a Pumpkin and Apple Pie with a crust made by T.V.'s Frank shoulder blades in the oven before closing the door revealing the Number.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number 2

(Cut to clips of the MST3K episode "Rocket Attack USA" as James does a voiceover)

2) Their biggest yet the least talked about victory: "Rocket Attack USA."

TLOTA (V.O.):
That's right, this movie, not "Manos: The Hands Of Fate," "Castle Of Fu Manchu," NONE of these movies did as much damage as "Rocket Attack USA" did. While they didn't blubber or cry and get so despondent that they'd be broken. It did something worse to Joel and The Bots. It got them so upset they couldn't focus on anything except how bad the movie was. (Show clip of Tom Servo, Crow, and Joel as they talk about the film. Cut to the rest of the episode as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
This episode destroyed the joy of movie-watching for Joel and The Bots, and for me, that's the most significant victory for Forrester and Frank. Yet very few people think much of the episode. To me, this experiment is their most successful because if they had kept doing those types of movies, I think we'd be under Dr. Forrester's control, and given the people in charge right now, I'd gladly take Dr. Forrester in charge.

(Cut to the inside of an oven as "Turkey In The Straw" plays in the foreground where what the camera symbolizes and T.V.'s Frank placing in Baked Potatoes in the oven and closing the door. However, the weight of what's in the oven to fall, causing a crater in the Kitchen as it cuts to Dr. Forrester looking down in the crater and shouting "FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK!" and walking away from where the oven was revealing the Number)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
And The Number one moment of Dr. Clayton Forrester and T.V.'s Frank is...

(Cut to clips of the MST3K episodes "Samson vs. The Vampire Women" & "Laserblast" as James does a voiceover)

1) Saying goodbye to Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank

TLOTA (V.O.):
I know that these are two different episodes but knowing that this will be the last time we'd see them on the show was pretty sad to see. Seeing T.V.'s Frank being summoned to second banana heaven and being led thereby Torgo. Then we have the moment in which Dr. Forrester hears the news. He then goes into possibly the most emotionally charged song, and it was about how he'll miss making Frank suffer and how in his own demented way how much Clayton loved being with Frank. And to Trace's credit, he sang so beautifully about T.V.'s Frank. However, he had to become the second banana himself as Pearl, played by Mary Jo Pehl, came into the picture. While he did try to regain his standings as the head of the two MADS, it seemed that Pearl was dragging him down until Comedy Central canceled the series, which ultimately led to Dr. Forrester doing the "2001: A Space Oddessy" ending, thus writing Dr. Forrester out for good. While the series would continue after their departure and there were plenty of great episodes and funny riffs. For many saying goodbye to Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s, Frank remains the swan song of the series. But for me, knowing that they were gone and had met their fates is the Number One moment because it had to happen. (Cut to the clip at the end of the "Who Will I Kill?" song as Dr. Forrester says, "Goodbye Frank, and remember wherever you are, I will kill you!" Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Are there any moments that you think I missed?  Then let me know in the comments section (Static breaks as it cuts to T.V.'s Frank as played by Frank Conniff in a heavenly setting.)

T.V.'s Frank:
Oh, there are plenty of moments of Clay and me I can talk about. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
T.V.'s FRANK?! (Cut to T.V.'s Frank)

T.V.'s Frank:
Back in Second Banana Heaven, and I am living it up with so many of my friends. I and so many great second bananas are enjoying a lot of what you do. (Static breaks as it cuts to Dr. Clayton Forrester as played by Trace Beaulieu in a very demonically red cave filled with magma and lava)

Dr. Clayton Forrester:
So do those who are being tortured for our sins (Mockingly): For causing my fellow man pain by making him suffer bad entertainment and hurting others! (Regularly): BAH! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
DR. CLAYTON FORRESTER?!  (Cut to Dr. Clayton Forrester)

Dr. Clayton Forrester:
Yeah, and I am suffering for sending Joel and Mike all those movies! I mean, is it wrong to overthrow generations of corruption just to be as corrupt, if not worse. Nothing out of your mouth Frank! (Cut to T.V.'s Frank)

T.V.'s Frank:
Well, there was a moment in which you had gotten beaten by the mafia for the fifty grand, and I had to take care of you while Mike watched "Red Zone Cuba." Oh, and remember when Joel had to (Cut to Dr. Forrester)

Dr. Forrester:
FRANK! He said for us to leave the moments in the comments section. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Um, thanks, Dr. Forrester. Before I sign off for the month and set December up, I have to ask what happened to you after you became a star child and Pearl thinking she had a second chance with you. (Cut to Dr. Forrester)

Dr. Forrester:
Well, my mother smothered me to death!. Again and this time, I wound up paying for something called my sins and now I'm down here being forced to watch bad movies 24/7! Do you know how many times I've seen this movie called "The Room" WHO IN THE HELL FINANCED THIS MOVIE? WHERE DID THIS TOMMY WISEAU COME FROM? HOW IN THE HELL DID HE STICK HIS JUNK INTO THAT GIRL'S BELLY BUTTON? WHAT IN THE HELL WAS UP WITH THE MOMENT IN THE FLOWER SHOP? THIS IS SOMETHING I WISH I HAD BEFORE I MET MY FATE! (Cut to T.V.'s Frank)

T.V.'s Frank:
Wow Clay, imagine if we had shown it to Joel or Mike, We would've taken over the world easily (Cut to James as the MST3K Turkey Day Hymn is playing.)

TLOTA:
Great, now I got to get going. Next Month Holiday shopping gift guide and year-end Top 10. Until then I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That's my opinion. (Cut to a split-screen between Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank)

T.V.'s Frank:
Oh wait, What about the Turkey Day marathon in which I ate nothing but Turkey?

Dr. Forrester:
FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Oh Forget it, just push the button Frank! (The sound of the button being pushed and the screen goes black!)

It's a cold & "Cruella" November

 (Scene starts with a laser beam in the sky as the music of the 1994 American Gladiators opening theme plays the angle of the camera goes into the laser as three shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as the shadows reveal themselves to be James Faraci in the center, Paulo Fonseca on the right and Rebecca Yaun on the left as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving towards the camera, four more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear, and the shadows reveal themselves as Brenda Fonseca on the right, Nick Yaun on the left, and John and Mike Santos and their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving forward moving towards the camera, five more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as they reveal themselves to be Renee Miller and Eric Kurtzke on the right, Andrew Beach and Ed Champion on the left, and Olivia Horvath appears in the center as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame credits of “Written by James Faraci with special help from Steve Kidd, Edited by Eric Kurtzke, Makeup by Olivia Horvath Produced by First Choice Productions, Directed by James Faraci” as it ends the Laser beam disappears and at the 0:28 mark of the theme song the laser beam cut out the words “The” “Last” “Of” “The” appear. At the 0:32-0:36 mark, the term “Americans” start to come forward as it pulls down, and James’ Morpher and Sonic Screwdriver is flung into the frame as James grabs both and morphs into The Last Of The Americans with half of team TLOTA and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans.” Cut to opening credits for a daytime talk show hosted by Johnny Berchtold as they’re being seen on a screen. Cut to James, Julia Alexa Miller, and Chad Narducci as they watch the screen.)

TLOTA:
So let me understand this thinking from Chad. You decided to produce an online Daytime talk show in my studio, and you decided to get John Berchtold to host. Then you thought everyone would be glad to be on board, which most of the team is NOT, then you nearly blow the very penny-tight budget on the show’s production. I have to save your backside to keep the show going by being the first guest on this show.

Chad Narducci:
Considering that I had a demonic entity controlling most of my actions kept my creative ideas at bay and increased my hatred of you by a billion times more than usual. I needed to have something come to fruition by the end of the year, so why not do this show.

Julia Alexa Miller:
Chad, you should’ve told us about this, James, appear on the show for my sake. So, get going. (James walks away with a sigh and a feeling of disgust as he prepares to be on Johnny’s talk show.) And just for the record Chad, your ass is on the line. Either this succeeds, or you get James and me at full fury!

Chad Narducci:
As if I haven’t experienced it. (Cut to the set as applause from the audience dies down.)

Johnny Berchtold:
Okay, my first guest, he is the man who is subletting his studio to allow this series to happen; he has earned the respect of so many of his peers; he is probably the funniest guy and the craziest guy I have ever met. He is James Faraci The Last Of The Americans! (Cut to James as he faces the audience, bows before the audience, and greets Johnny) Welcome to the show.

TLOTA:
It is a pleasure to be here, I never thought you’d have me on as a guest, but I am glad to help a good friend out.

Johnny Berchtold:
So, the first question I would like to ask in my first episode is, what made you decide on your profession?

TLOTA:
I want to say I was lazy and thought I could do better than most people in my profession, which happens to be reviewing subjects on the Internet, which it did not. It came from a desire to talk about topics I like to speak about  (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller and Chad Narducci as the two suddenly feel a cold chill as James continues to speak on the talk show in the background.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
Did you feel that?

Chad Narducci:
Oh, it’s Johnny’s other guest for the show. Also, I heard about James having a band, so I was able to

Julia Alexa Miller:
Oy Vey! (Cut to the talk show as James and Johnny laugh.)

TLOTA:
So it has been fun.

Johnny Berchtold:
Now, wait, stick around. Didn’t my producers talk to you? You and your old friends are performing, later on; help me pronounce it, please. (James looks at the card and whispers N.Y.4) The N.Y.4 will be performing today. But when we come back, she is one of the hottest designers/fashionistas to come from the U.K., and she will be making her American debut talking about her career. Don’t you go away now! (Cameraman says, “We’re clear. We got a five-minute ad break” off-screen.)

TLOTA:
Dude, no one informed me I’d be performing music! I thought it’d be an interview, and that’d be that. I hope Alex is giving Chad Tsouris for this. (Cut to the outside of Julia Alexa Miller’s office as Chad is begging for forgiveness as loud punches, slams, and thuds are heard, then a sonic blast shakes the building to its foundation. Cut to James as he decides to sit in the second seat.)

Johnny Berchtold:
Dude, don’t worry about the whole having to play, so now I’m in the second seat.

TLOTA:
It’s called etiquette on a daytime show like this, and the first guest has to either move off stage or sit further down so the next guest can have the center of the spotlight.

Johnny Berchtold:
It makes sense to me. (Cameraman says, “We’re back in thirty seconds.” Off-screen as Johnny makes it back just in time.) Okay, welcome back! Oh! I nearly slipped off my chair there. These things are what happen when we do something live.  Our next guest comes from the U.K. She became an instant Fashionista icon, a designer whose style is incomparable to anyone; please welcome Evilla DeMon! (Cut to Evilla, as played by Brenda Fonseca, walking on to the stage dressed like she raided Lady Gaga’s craziest closet of clothes she wouldn’t wear, and her hair is a mix of Red and Blue. Evilla turns, and James’ chair gets destroyed, and James falls out of his chair. Johnny tries to get James back on his feet. James stands up and whispers about having to step out to practice. Cut to James as he closes the door to his office and pulls out an electric guitar.)

TLOTA:
Well, I might as well do it! (James plays “Cruella Deville” on a guitar. Cut to the title card of “Cruella.” Cut to clips of “Cruella” as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Hoo Boy! Let’s get this out of the way. Yes, many people have compared it to another company’s movie about a villainous character who is famous. But for this review, I am going to discuss this movie on the merits of itself. How it will succeed or fail will be its own thing! I am not going to compare it to the other movie or the “101 Dalmatians” movies. So can it stand up and be noticed on its own merits, or will it fall quicker than most of the people shown on “Project Runway”! (Cut to James as he sits in his office with his electric guitar.)

TLOTA:
Let’s not waste any time; let’s review (James plays “Cruella Deville” on an electric guitar.) Let’s go! (Cut to “Cruella” as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
The movie opens with the birth of Cruella; she is born and has her trademark hair as a baby! We soon see that her mom is very protective of her daughter and insists on having her go by Estella and her necklace is a Deus Ex Machina for the story. As we watch young Estella meet with Anita Darling in School, her headmaster does not like her antics. Pulling Estella out of school before getting expelled, Estella and her mother decided to head to London to start fresh. They stop off at a place owned by The Baroness, played by Emma Thompson, on their way there. Estella’s mom is, I swear to god, this is real, KILLED by a pack of Dalmatians! (Cut to James as he can make a cuckoo sound on his electric guitar. Cut to “Cruella” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Orphaned and on the run from The Baroness, Estella makes it to London, where she meets her minions Horace & Jasper. The three take to the art of Grifting to make ends meet. We then flash forward to Estella, played by Emma Stone, who has become a competent grifter and seamstress. To thank her for her services, Horace and Jasper decide to help Estella make her dreams come true as she works in Liberty’s Department Store as part of the janitorial staff, and her boss is such a ponce not to give her the time of day about the displays. One night after cleaning out her bosses’ office, Estella decides to get drunk and have a night redesigning the displays. Getting her boss upset, and Estella is fired until the Baroness likes what Estella has done and hires Estella to work as a designer at The Baroness’ Fashion house. (Cut to James as he has his guitar in his hands.)

TLOTA:
Right now, I better be sure Johnny’s Talk Show is doing good. So I will be taking a break. (James steps out of his office as he joins a destroyed Chad Narducci and Julia Alexa Miller on the couch as they watch Johnny Berchtold do a pre-recorded moment in which he is on the road searching for a Haunted house and having fun with the locals. Cut to James, Chad, and Julia Alexa Miller as they sit and contemplate.)

TLOTA:
Things aren’t looking good. Are they Alex?

Julia Alexa Miller:
Nope and Chad is a dead man walking!

TLOTA:
In more ways than one!

(Scene fades to black as it cuts to the 0:36 mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme as it shows James fully morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans.” Cut to the 0:36 mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme as it shows James fully morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans.” Cut to “Cruella” as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Quickly gaining The Baroness’ trust, The Baroness sees Estella’s designs as worthy of her desires. So yeah, for all those who think this is a rip-off of some other movie, you’re right, but not in the way you think. We’re now in “The Devil Wears Prada” territory. One day Estella sees that The Baroness has Estella’s mom’s necklace and claims it as her own. Estella is angered beyond reprieve and decides to take back what she rightfully deserves as she befriends a David Bowie lookalike shop owner of a bargain designer retailer named Artie. Estella decides that it’s time to let Cruella out of the box. (Show clip of “Cruella” as she reveals herself at the Black & White Ball as she ignites the cape. Cut to James as he plays his guitar, and it makes a buzzing sound.)

TLOTA:
Wrong! That would not happen. But this would. (Cut to The Baroness as played by Olivia Horvath as screams of a young girl in pain as she is on fire burning to death and The Baroness engulfs another drink letting the young girl burn to death. Cut to “Cruella” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
As Jasper & Horace get into the vault, they notice the necklace isn’t in there. Cruella, on the other, has seen it, ON THE BARONESS! Jasper and Horace improvise with the heist in trouble as the necklace is eaten by one of The Baroness’ Dalmatians. While escaping, Cruella notices something that came back to her the day her mom died. The Baroness had a dog whistle on her that instigated the attack on Cruella’s mom! Now seeking vengeance for what The Baroness did, Cruella calls upon Horace, Jasper, Artie, and unbeknownst to the rest of Cruella’s associates. Cruella recruits old friend Anita to help bring down The Baroness once and for all—upstaging The Baroness at every turn. However, Horace and Jasper feel they’re losing their friend to Cruella, and The Baroness, even though she is as cold-blooded as a reptile, is showing concern for Estella. But as the antics of Cruella continue to drive The Baroness to a breaking point to fire her lawyer named Roger. Eventually, The Baroness tries to continue with her ruthless stranglehold in the fashion world as she tries to get a spring fashion show done. But Cruella destroys The Baroness’ spring collection and upstages her with a rock and roll Fashion show in Regent’s Park, and before I forget, the bulk of the movie took place during the 1960s and 1970s, so you know; this is old school British style! The only thing missing at this point is Jon Pertwee’s Doctor with Jo Grant looking and deciding to turn off such nonsense as he took on Roger Delgado’s Master! But I digress. After the show, The Baroness discovers Cruella, AKA Estella, and Cruella calls The Baroness out for her mother’s murder. However, instead of the healthy competition, someone The Baroness needs to keep her fresh. The Baroness decides that arson is the best tool to keep herself fresh. (Cut to James as he plays “Funeral Dirge” on an electric guitar. Cut to “Cruella” as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
It looks as if Cruella has met her end. That is until John, played by Mark Strong, pulls her out of the fire. The following day John tells Cruella the truth about what happened to her. (Show Clip of “Cruella” as she discovers that she is The biological daughter of The Baroness and that her mother was a servant who was in service to The Baroness. Cut to James as he plays the dramatic musical sting on an electric guitar.)

TLOTA:
Wait, are you serious? You mean to tell us that the woman who raised Estella, AKA Cruella wasn’t her mom! I call (Electric guitar doing an expletive bleep. Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
I’m sorry but, This woman did everything to protect this girl, raise her properly, shield her from all the wrongs of this world. The woman who did that for all intent and purposes was Cruella’s mother! She may have come from The Baroness’ panooch, but Estella “Cruella De Vile” Miller’s mom was the woman who got attacked and murdered by The Baroness’ Dalmatians, but that is a woman who had to endure so much to protect Estella deserves justice! And Cruella decides to do right to the woman who raised her as her own and vows to bring that (Electric Guitar Expletive Bleep) to her own brand of revenge. But she can’t do it alone. She breaks Horace and Jasper out of prison, brings John in because after all The Baroness has done, Why not? And Artie to help pull off the mother of all plots. Estella and The Baroness come head to head one more time, and this time there’s a crowd to see The Baroness’ cruelty to her daughter as The Baroness pushes her off the same cliffside Estella’s mom bought it! However, Cruella puts a secret parachute in her dress and survives; The Baroness is arrested for murder. With “Estella” dead and buried, Cruella gets ready to do the voodoo she will do for future installments. Plus, there’s the mid-credit scene of Roger getting Pongo and Anita getting Perdita setting up a live-action 101 Dalmatians Movie, which they already did with Glenn Close, and a reasonably decent sequel that happened when I was a teen, and ARUGH! My head hurts! (Cut to James in his office with his electric guitar.)

TLOTA:
So that was “Cruella,” and (James plays power chord) it rocked! (Cut to clips of “Cruella” as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
And for the record, no, this is not the knockoff of D.C.’s “JOKER” movie, this is the knockoff of “The Devil Wears Prada” that works, and it is all the better for it! The acting was sublimely engaging; the writing was better than most of Disney’s live-action adaptations, which is saying quite a bit. The story was well produced, and I have to credit the cast and crew for one exciting ride. If you haven’t seen it, I’d say check it out without knowing the other live-action 101 Dalmatians movies Disney produced exists and enjoy it. If you have seen it on Disney+, you understand what wickedness can make you feel a chill. (Electric guitar version of “Cruella De Vile” plays as James sings, “As you see the birth of Cruella De Vile!”. Cut to James in his office.)

TLOTA:
Now to see if I can salvage Johnny’s Talk Show and hope

 (Cut to James later as he stands in the lobby with Johnny, Julia Alexa Miller, and Chad Narducci and tries to rub his forehead to alleviate the headache he is suffering from.)

TLOTA:
This show has become my “Demo Reel”!

Johnny Berchtold:
Look at all the hate videos we’re getting! (Cut to a montage of James’ fellow reviewers, Tommy Wiseau, “Awkward Ashleigh,” Christy Romano, giving James an earful about how bad Johnny’s Talk Show is. Cut to Chad.)

Chad Narducci:
But at least we tried something different.  Besides, YouTube will let us finish out our thirteen weeks then we'll get a second chance in June of next year and James, What do you mean by “This show has become my “Demo Reel?”

TLOTA:
Okay, Chad, here comes “Demo Reel!” (Cut to James as he enters a chamber filled with DVDs and Blu-Rays as James grabs the Disc that has “Demo Reel.” James walks back to see Chad hanging out with Lindsay Naegel and her group of studio execs. Cut to James)

TLOTA:
WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?! (Cut to Chad Narducci)

Chad Narducci:
These are the guys that helped develop the Talk Show. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Perfect! Okay, all of you, sit down and watch this! (James puts the DVD in the player as he walks away.) Alex, Johnny, close your eyes! (Johnny and Alex try to talk James into seeing it.) Trust me; it will not end well! (Cut to see Chad as he walks away, and the execs see it. Suddenly the execs see the horrendousness of “Demo Reel” as Lindsay Naegel screams in fear as the others scream in shock. Cut to James, Julia Alexa Miller, and Johnny Berchtold as they hear the screams.)

Johnny Berchtold and Julia Alexa Miller (In Unison):
James!

TLOTA:
DON’T LOOK, YOU GUYS! KEEP YOUR EYES SHUT! (Cut to one-half of the execs getting the life sucked out of them, the other half melting into a pile, and Lindsay Naegel screaming until she explodes. With the flames coming out of the screen, everyone except for James, Julia Alexa Miller, and Johnny Berchtold gets sucked into the T.V. then the DVD ejects from the player. Cut to James as he peeks out.) It’s okay; it’s over! (Johnny, Julia Alexa Miller, and James walk over as James puts the DVD in its case.” Crunching noises are heard by James, Julia Alexa Miller, and Johnny Berchtold as they see Chad Narducci with a bowl of popcorn.)

Chad Narducci:
What smells like Barbeque, and what happened to the others? (James walks away in disgust, Johnny sighs in despair, and Julia Alexa Miller shakes her head in defeat. Fade To Black.)