All The Muppet Movies for Muppet Wish Day

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James physically)

TLOTA:

I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and The views I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. What else can I say but... The Muppets! (Cut to clips of The Muppets throughout the years as "The Muppet Show" theme song plays in the background and James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Mixing old school Marionette style movement with hand puppetry Jim Henson who we lost far too early in 1990 gave us a legacy that stands the test of time! While TV was the Muppets was bread & butter for me they shined when they had the time to expand on the voodoo they do so well in the movies.(Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:

So for Muppet Wish Day I am going to go through ALL the Muppet movies in one shot! (Cut to clips of The movies starring The Muppets as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Now there are some ground rules I need to lay down. One, The movies have to be about The Muppets and they have to be made for the big screen! No made for TV movies or specials and Kermit's Swamp Years are not going to be reviewed. Two, None of the other Jim Henson based productions that were made for the cinema are not going to be reviewed. So movies like "Follow That Bird", "The Dark Crystal", "Labyrinth" and the Live Action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies from the 1990's are going to be passed over and finally I will try to keep the Spoilers to the barest minimum I can for the few of you who have not seen. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:

So let's start off with our first foray for Kermit and the gang with "The Muppet Movie" (Cut to the Opening credit of "The Muppet Movie" before cutting to clips of "The Muppet Movie" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Written by Jack Burns and Jerry Juhl, Produced by Jim Henson and Lord Lew Grade, Directed by James Frawley and released in 1979. The movie about how The Muppets met and all the adventures they had getting to Hollywood including dodging a Fast Food  wannabe impresario Doc Hopper wanting Kermit to become his mascot for his Frog Leg Franchise. Can Kermit and the gang make it to Hollywood to make it big and stop Doc Hopper from doing whatever it takes to make Kermit to be his Mascot? Well you will have to watch the movie to see. What I loved about this movie was how innovative it was with the performances of the Muppets, it took chances on how The Muppets could be performed. The cameos are entertaining. The music provided by Paul Williams and Kenneth Ascher is iconic and I can think of a moment from the movie at times when I didn't even think I was doing it and if that is a sign of how successful a movie is then you know how successful your movie is.  (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:

But it would take the Muppets team four days after the second anniversary of the first movie to release one of their greatest movies they would ever make. "The Great Muppet Caper" (Cut to the opening credit of "The Great Muppet Caper" before cutting to clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

What can I say that few haven't said and what I haven't said already. This was one of the first movies I ever saw! It helps me get through February 14th and I put it on when I need to have a good laugh and some harmless fun! "The Great Muppet Caper" directed by the man himself Jim Henson. The movie is so great that telling you the story would do the movie is an injustice. They demolish the fourth wall in a way Deadpool would only look at, eat his weight in Chimichangas and sigh in defeat! If you haven't seen this movie then WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Watch it, get it on DVD, Blu-Ray or Digital Download and give it all your attention! It is worth it!(Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:

How they would better themselves after making one of the greatest movies ever made? Simple they'd take three years after making "The Great Muppet Caper" to create one of the most entertaining Muppet movies ever with "The Muppets Take Manhattan" (Cut to the opening credit of "The Muppets Take Manhattan" before cutting to clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Directed by Frank Oz, The story focuses on Kermit trying to sell his musical to a Broadway producer and all the adventures that happen to Kermit and everyone who had separated until Kermit gets the musical sold. What really makes this movie is the story, the music and the Cameos from the likes of Dabney Coleman, Gregory Hines, Liza Minnelli, Former Mayor Ed Koch, Brooke Shields, Art Carney and Gates McFadden! Yes Trekkies, Dr. Crusher from "Star Trek: The Next Generation" is in a Muppet Movie! A Part of this movie's legacy was how it helped generate one of my favorite animated series of all time! (Cut to opening credits to "Muppet Babies" before cutting to James physically.)

TLOTA:

Another part of the movie's legacy sadly is the fact that this would be the last movie Jim Henson would perform Kermit in a Muppet movie as six years after this movie the biggest tragedy in the history of The Muppets happened. (Cut to clip of Peter Jennings sadly announcing the Death of Jim Henson then clips of Jim Henson's Funeral as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Jim Henson died in May of 1990 of Toxic Shock Syndrome leaving a legacy that would grow years after his passing. But for kids who were born in the 1970's & 1980's their childhoods were killed when Jim died. Old school Muppets fans like myself are still in shock to this day that Jim is gone but thankfully he shall forever be remembered! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:

Thankfully everyone at Jim Henson's company decided to keep The Muppets going because I think Jim wanted that to happen and two years after Jim Henson's successor for Kermit, Steve Whitmire had established himself as Kermit would we get the first Muppet Movie since Jim Henson's death with "The Muppet Christmas Carol" (Cut to opening credit of "The Muppet Christmas Carol" before cutting to clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

And to be honest this movie was just simply the Charles Dickens classic starring Michael Caine as Ebenezer Scrooge and the rest of characters being played by The Muppets but what makes the movie is the emotional range Michael Caine gives Ebenezer Scrooge, the music definitely sets the tone and the fact Brian Henson, Jim's Son directed this movie and it shows how much the movie has been considered the closest to the actual source material.  (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:

Probably why Brian directed the next movie which was released four years after "The Muppet Christmas Carol" with "Muppet Treasure Island" (Cut to opening credit of "Muppet Treasure Island" before cutting to clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

While like the predecessor this movie based on the classic Robert Louis Stevenson classic there was really little different except the fact that the Muppets are in it and they play the characters save for Billy Bones played by Billy Connolly, Jennifer Saunders who plays Mrs. Bluveridge, Kevin Bishop as Jim Hawkins and of course Long John Silver played by of course the always enjoyable Tim Curry! I guess what makes the movie is the environment and the music. With songs like "Shiver Me Timbers" and of course (Show "Cabin Fever" song as it is intercut with James and everyone of Team TLOTA go dancing along with the movie and song before cutting to James continuing his voiceover as "Muppet Treasure Island" continues)

But yeah, aside of a few good moments this movie kind of is one of the weaker movies in the Muppet movie franchise but still it is entertaining. Though the fact this was the last movie directed Brian Henson which is sad but still not a bad note to go out on.  (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:

However I wished he had controlled things much better on a movie that is not bad but in terms of Muppet Movies is considered the weakest in the entire Movie franchise. "Muppets From Space" (Cut to opening credit of "Muppets From Space" before cutting to clips from "Muppets From Space" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

I've already discussed the pros and cons of this movie in an edition of "In Defense Of..." and I stand by them. While the movie is not good, it's not bad either. While a lot of it feels like a good parody of  bad family films I have to say that I kind of have to agree with hard core Muppet Fans that this movie would've had Jim rolling in the Taos, New Mexico area where his ashes are scattered. But this movie sadly is the last theatrically produced movie by Jim Henson Pictures as Disney would buy the Muppets brand. Save for this movie and The Muppets Take Manhattan. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And while Disney would do TV projects with The Muppets it would take until 2011 for Disney to bring The Muppets back to the Big Screen with "The Muppets" (Cut to the opening of "The Muppets" before cutting to Clips of the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
And from the beginning you could tell that this was a movie for the fans by a fan of the Muppets. Jason Segel starred in, helped write and executively produce this movie and you can tell that Jason was hands on in making this movie. The story was amazing. Essentially a reunion movie. The Muppets have to come back to save the Muppet Theater from a ruthless oil tycoon. I love every aspect of this movie and I will admit for the first time as an adult I cried when the new Muppet Character Walter performed by Peter Linz was in Kermit's office and one of the photos they panned to was a picture of Kermit and the man behind him Jim Henson and if a movie can make me feel something then it has to be amazing. If you have kids who haven't seen either Sesame Street or The Muppets in any way shape or form then this is a great way to introduce Kermit and the gang to a whole new generation.(Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
With the success of "The Muppets" many people would assume Disney would capitalize on what happened and bring another movie out quickly. Well without Jason Segel helping in the production would it capture what the 2011 movie? We'd find out in 2014 with "Muppets Most Wanted" (Cut to opening credit of "Muppets Most Wanted" before cutting to clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
And to be honest it was good. The plot was somewhat reminiscent of "The Great Muppet Caper" but it didn't feel like a knock off. While it was nice to see Walter return and see an honest to god Muppet villain that can actually challenge The Muppets in a way not even time can hold a candle to, Meet.... Constantine and guess what... (First time Constantine in unveiled as a dramatic musical sting before cutting to James physically)

TLOTA:
WHOA MY GOODNESS IT'S KERMIT'S EVIL TWIN! (Cut to clips of "Muppets Most Wanted" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Actually there are some difference between Kermit and Constantine and if you've seen Adorkable Rachel's Review of this movie you know what they are. There is however another reason why this movie has become more memorable over the past few years as one of the final performances of  Steve Whitmire as Kermit The Frog before his unceremonious departure after 27 years as Kermit only for Constantine's performer Matt Vogel to become only the Third most known performer to be Kermit The Frog and my thoughts on Matt Vogel's Kermit is... (Cut to Muppet Of The Week with Kermit being performed by Matt Vogel before cutting to hear a ground shaking explosion at James' office as James runs out to see his team using Fire extinguishers)

TLOTA:
WHAT IN THE SAM HILL HAPPENED?

Olivia Horvath:
The Polarizing meter exploded!

TLOTA:
Hasn't happened since "Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice!" (James grabs a fire extinguisher and joins the other as the flames subside as everyone looks at James)

TLOTA:
Uh was working on quickly reviewing all the Muppet Movies and I just had to show the clip of Matt Vogel's debut as Kermit The Frog. Yeah, I know that look on your faces about Kermit's new performer but you can not deny the impact of the movies The Muppets made.

(Cut to clips of all the Muppets Movies as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
These movies are amazing! The stories of these movies are incredibly entertaining, the acting from the human actors is incredible, the humor is incredible, the writing is timeless, the music has aged well like fine wine, it is a part of my childhood and believe it when I say it should be a part of everyone's childhood because everything good and imaginative in childhood. Get them on Blu-Ray, DVD or even watch them on any Streaming site that will show these movies. As long as you get a chance to watch and share these movies with the next generation then we know Jim Henson's legacy will stay alive! Will there be more Muppet Movies in the future? Well that's up for Disney to decide. But as much as I want to wish for it to happen, I'm not holding my breath.  (Cut to James and the rest of the team physically)

TLOTA:
So until that time when I can watch the Muppets on the big screen again, Let's enjoy what we have. I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans...

Everyone (In Unison):
AND THAT'S OUR OPINION!

Just Add Water: My Mako Adventure: Mako Mermaids Season 3 Part 1

(0:00-1:00 of the third season trailer plays uninterrupted before going to 1:00-1:30 play in the background as James does a voiceover.)

James Faraci (Voiceover): OH..... GOOODIE! A dragon! I can actually feel George R.R. Martin getting ready to sue somebody or go all Red Wedding on everyone involved behind the scenes of this season. Welcome my friends To Mako Mermaids Season three. (Fade to black)

(Cut to Scenes from season three of "Mako Mermaids" as "I Just Wanna Be" is played in the background before cutting Mako Island before it cuts to a scene of James in a lounge chair and the words "Just Add Water: My Mako Adventure" above James before cutting to clips of the show and the season as James first sighs and then groans and does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Ladies and gentlemen, this is the season where Jonathan Shiff gave up and everyone in the cast of Mako Mermaids when they looked at the scripts for this season then looked at the writers and they realized....(Cut to the clip of MST3K where Joel, Tom Servo and Crow say in Unison "THEY JUST DIDN'T CARE" before cutting back to the third season as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): And in all honesty, there was no reason at all for this season to happen! The Main conflict had been resolved. Zac was no longer considered a threat! The pod had returned to Mako Island.What else could they do? I mean yeah there was plenty that could've been done, they could've focused this season on Evie and Zac becoming more acclimated to life as part of the Pod causing tensions between the humans they've known and the Pod they're just beginning to know, they could've done something to make Cam, Carly and David become more important characters maybe them being the key to Rita's hopes of humans and merfolk becoming united, Lyla could've returned causing tension between Evie and Zac forcing Zac to chose between the mermaid he knew for a brief period or the mermaid he's known all his life. What would we get for this supposed final season? Sadly what we would get is a season of missteps, bad ideas and one of the characters getting a worse Screw Job then what happened in Montreal 20 years ago to Bret Hart. Something interesting to note about this season as it was just about to premiere on Netflix, the Disney Channel aired season one of Mako Mermaids here in the States and have yet to do so for the rest of the series, it's a funny old world isn't it? In addition there was apparently some back and forth between Netflix, Network Eleven and Jonathan Shiff as to how many episodes were going to be produced eventually coming to an agreement on a season consisting of 16 episodes. Which is not bad, I mean it is possible for a storyline to be resolved in such a short amount of episodes, Hell the final season of "GLEE" had basically 13 episodes for their final season and they were able to have the series end on a satisfactory note in my opinion anyway. However a lot of the episodes for this season of Mako Mermaids doesn't focus on the main storyline. A lot of the episodes are just filler with the odd episode actually involving the storyline which is a fail in Storyline Writing 101 and I know a lot of you are saying to yourselves right now "This one won't be long, It's 16 episodes." To which I say to you, Did you even check the title? I haven't done a one off part in this retrospective since "H2O: Just Add Water Season One" Also just because it is sixteen episodes doesn't mean it's gonna be a piece of Baklava, especially if the pace is slow. And sadly the pacing in this season is painfully slow, it is so slow I could watch "Star Trek: The Motion Picture" ten times and the pace of "Star Trek: The Motion Picture" would still be faster than this season! But now after all I have said let's get into the supposed final season of "Mako Mermaids" and I will address the rest of the problems as we go along!

The Season begins with "A Visit From The East" We open up in China as we're quickly introduced to Weilan played by Linda Ngo as she hits the water she becomes a mermaid and something big and nasty follows her. We then cut to a month later as Evie prepares to take part in her first full moon ceremony as a member of the pod. In the meanwhile David is in a funk because Sirena is with her sister... on vacation... in Hawaii. Sadly, Amy Ruffle who played Sirena left the series after two seasons and I think I know why when we talk about the characters. Meanwhile Veridia comes to Ondina with a unique proposal to teach the young mermaids in the pod in which she accepts. Why? To help her get over Erik? Because from the look on her face after she dumped the guy you could tell she was pretty much over him. I know I would be if the person I was dating was trying to slowly but surely drain the life out of me, I know I'd tell her we were done and not have thought twice about it. . Not long after Weilan is found helping a young mermaid who was one of Ondina's students and then arrives at Rita's and given sanctuary because Weilan's Grandma and Rita are old friends not that we would've known that especially given what we know about Rita. But for now it's almost time for Evie's first Mako Pod Full Moon Celebration which is interrupted when the big nasty thing that Weilan thought she escaped from finds her and finds Mako Island and it just happens to be a dragon made of water! Now here is where things quickly go south this season. While the Dragon is subdued by the end of the episode. Weilan informs everyone that now the Dragon is awakened the pod is in greater danger now than they were when Zac became a merman ."A Visit Of The East" is a great episode and definitely a good set up for a good season. A good final season? Not really.

That is only because again less than a fraction of this season actually focus on the storyline of everyone trying to stop the dragon which is supposed to be the main storyline. That storyline gets shoved to the sideline while most of the episodes focuses on the wrong subplot like Ondina teaching the young school of mermaids or the subplot involving Cam buying out David's brother's stake in the Juice Bar just so it can stay open! A Good Ninety-five Percent of this season are simply filler and missteps and not helping is Weilan character wise. I like Linda Ngo as an actress, but as Weilan she tries too hard be serious in her delivery and while Weilan is okay in small doses she quickly becomes a drain on the series and driving me Cuckoo! When she tries to act seriously, I can't take what she was doing or saying serious. I mean in one scene in the season premiere she's taking a selfie with Poseidon and in the next She's trying to be so serious about the dragon but to me it looks like she comes off putting out a bad performance! And I do not personally blame Linda Ngo for this, it's like the writers had no idea what to do with the character or this season and again the writers are to blame for this failure of a season. Like I've been saying, it feels like Jonathan Shiff gave up and everyone in the cast looked at the scripts for this season then looked at the writers and they realized....(Cut to the clip of MST3K where Joel, Tom Servo and Crow say in Unison "THEY JUST DIDN'T CARE" before cutting back to the third season as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Following the Season premiere, we discover in "Seeing Is Believing" Ondina doesn't exactly get along with Weilan especially when she trashes Rita's Grotto and blames Weilan for bringing the dragon to the pod and it's not hard to disagree with Ondina in this case. Weilan was the one who found the dragon, accidentally mind you but still, I agree with you Ondina! Weilan has put the pod in greater danger then when they thought Zac was the main threat! Weilan could've gone anywhere! ANYWHERE BUT MAKO ISLAND! BUT WEILAN IS GIVEN SANCTUARY BY THE POD THE SAME POD WHO IS IN MORE DANGER NOW THEN THEY WERE WHEN ZAC GOT HIS TAIL AND POWERS! Okay yeah it was Rita who gave her Sanctuary but still The Pod allowed Rita to give sanctuary to Weilan and because Rita is still a member of the Pod by proxy The Pod is to blame for this as much as Rita and Weilan is. While the two become friendly by the end of the episode, I have to once again point out that most of what happens in this episode and this season is filler and missteps. While there is a plan in motion for the next full moon should the dragon attack for Zac to defend the moon pool and the pod would assist, again a lot of what happens in these episodes involve filler and missteps.

The next major misstep happens in the episode "The Way Of The Dragon". It's the night of the Full Moon and everyone is ready to end the dragon though showing everyone getting ready throughout this season would've been more interesting than dancing lessons between Zac and Cam or having Evie misuse her powers because the writers have it out for Evie and her actress Gemma Forsyth. (Sighs) Have I said enough how much this season sucks seawater? Veridia however tasks Ondina and Mimmi to care of the young mermaids and Weilan tells Veridia that it's safer for the pod to be on the west side of the Island. Weilan obviously lied and Zac and Evie try to stop the dragon and fail, costing Evie her tail and her powers. Okay, this is the Screw job I mentioned earlier in this retrospective! I want to know which of the writers had it out for actress Gemma Forsyth and her character because they put her through hell to save Zac, her mermaid friends and the pod last season and this is her reward for helping? I should stop this retrospective right here because what they did to her at the end of this episode and what happens to her in the next episode is complete BS! In the follow up episode after Evie loses her tail and powers, Weilan feels guilty for costing Evie her tail and Powers as she should! Weilan then consults an Asian Antiquity shop owner named Shen who is first introduced in episode five and considers running away from the pod hoping the Dragon would follow her. Shen tells her that she can run but her problems would not be fixed! Meanwhile Ondina and Mimmi try to help Evie get her tail and powers back but it backfires causing Ondina to be stuck with her tail even when she dries off. Weilan comes back to help Ondina regain her legs. However by the end of the episode Evie decides to return her moon ring, leave the pod and basically return to her old life as a human. Now I'm sure the budget wasn't plausible for Evie to be a mermaid throughout the entire season but she could've still been one in name only using her for when she was necessary to the storyline and just let her be a normal human when she wasn't needed to be a mermaid. There was a gigantic backlash towards this decision by the fans towards what they did to Evie and it's not that hard to see why. They gave a secondary character a great advancement in her character just to take away what they did to her because the writers wanted Evie to suffer is on par with how big a screw job The Hitman Bret Hart got in Montreal 20 years ago. But yeah, Evie is now once again worthless to the plot from this moment forward and The Writers got possibly their biggest set of Jollies in doing that to Evie and her actress Gemma Forsyth.

So... Evie's Screw job. WHAT... THE... LITERAL... DEFINITION...OF...HELL?! ADMITTEDLY EVIE WASN'T EXACTLY ENDEARING IN THE FIRST FEW EPISODES OF THE SERIES BUT SHE SLOWY BUT SURELY GREW ON ME. MAKING HER A MERMAID WAS THE LOGICAL NEXT STEP TOWARDS DEVELOPING HER CHARACTER, TO DO WHAT THEY DID TO HER THIS SEASON WAS A SLAP IN THE FACE TO THE CHARACTER OF EVIE AND TO GEMMA FORSYTH THE ACTRESS WHO PLAYED EVIE AND WHAT HAPPENED TO EVIE IS EQUALLY AS SHODDY AS IS THIS SEASON. SIMPLY BECAUSE SHE HAS LOST HER TAIL AND POWERS NOW, IT DOESN'T MEAN SHE SHOULD LOSE THEM FOREVER,  HELL EVIE BELIEVES IT TO BE PERMANENT! NONE OF THE MERMAIDS TRULY KNOW IF THIS IS PERMANENT OR TEMPORARY. AGAIN THE WRITERS ARE TO BLAME FOR THIS SCREWJOB AND FORCING HER BACK INTO BEING A POINTLESS SECONDARY CHARACTER AND YES, EVEN THOUGH SHE'S STILL LISTED IN THE MAIN CAST EVIE MCLAREN IS NOW ONCE AGAIN POINTLESS TO THE MAIN PLOT. THIS IS JUST...just... WOW! WHEN WORDS FAIL ME AND I CONSIDER MYSELF ONE HELL OF A WORDSMITH, YOU KNOW HOW BIG A FAIL THIS SEASON IS!

THIS SEASON FOR EVIE SHOULD'VE BEEN HER FINAL STEP TOWARDS BECOMING A FULLY DEVELOPED CHARACTER! HER SLOWLY ACCLIMATING TO THE LIFE OF A MERMAID, BRINGING CARLY ALONG IN HER JOURNEY AND MAKING A CARLY A MERMAID IN THE PROCESS SO EVIE CAN HAVE HER FRIEND ALONG IN HER NEW LIFE. THE STAKES SHOULD'VE BEEN BETTER FOR EVIE, HER JOURNEY LEADING HER TO THE POD AND EVIE BECOMING FULLY REALIZED! INSTEAD WE GET A CHARACTER WHO GRATES ON MY NERVES AND MY PATIENCE WITH HER PERFORMANCE BEING THE MOST ANNOYING, THE PACE OF THE SEASON BEING THE WORST IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, THE LAST OF THE THREE MERMAIDS FROM THE BEGINNING OF THIS SERIES BAILING AND THE WRITERS STICKING WHAT WOULD'VE HAPPENED TO HER ONTO A CHARACTER WHO LITERALLY COULD'VE BEEN DOING ANYTHING ELSE THAN WHAT THEY GAVE HER THIS SEASON, A DRAGON BECAUSE THE WRITERS WANTED THE GAME OF THRONES AUDIENCE AND HAD GOTTEN THEIR DEMENTED JOLLIES BY FORCING A GOOD CHARACTER BACK TO BEING POINTLESS TO THE MAIN PLOT AND THE WRITERS NOT GIVING HER ANY SORT OF MOMENT OF HOPE BECAUSE THE WRITERS IDIOTICALLY DECIDED NOT TO USE THEIR BRAINS AT ANY POINT IN THIS SEASON! AND WE'VE ONCE AGAIN GOT A BUNCH OF KIDS RUNNING A FREAKING JUICE BAR!

(The audio of James inhaling a deep breath in before an F sound is heard before cutting to the clip of "Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part 1" episode from "The Simpsons" after the loudest F-Bomb being drowned out by a loud Church Organ Blast that scare doves have everyone look at the Simpsons' home before we See Ned Flanders say "Dear Lord That's the loudest Profanity I've ever heard!" Before fading to black)

To Be Concluded in Part 2

Just Add Water: My Mako Adventure: Mako Mermaids Season 3 Part 2

(Fade into clips from the rest of season 3 of Mako Mermaids as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): This season is making me want to reach for a bottle of Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum and a bottle of Don Julio 1942 Tequila as a chaser! So yeah, We are past the half way point of this season, Evie is no longer a mermaid or a main character and the writers who hated her got their jollies and the storyline of the season has officially come to a screeching halt! I'm not even joking on this one the pacing for this season was so bad that I literally lost interest in this season when I was watching this season in it's first run on Netflix. As a matter of fact I had to watch the rest of this season for the purpose of this retrospective, I deserve a few people saying "I'm Sorry You Had To Endure This" in the comments section. Again I know I've said this but I think this is true. Somewhere in his mind Jonathan Shiff must have given up and known this season had sunk like the Titanic and like I said before everyone in the cast when they looked at the scripts for this season looked at the writers and they realized....(Cut to the clip of MST3K where Joel, Tom Servo and Crow say in Unison "THEY JUST DIDN'T CARE" before cutting back to the third season as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): And what does everyone behind the scenes try to do to salvage their sunken ship of a season? Do they give Evie hope that her tail and powers will return? Do the pod try to get proactive and find a way to vanquish the dragon or restore Evie's Tail and Powers before the next full moon? Does the pacing pick up? NOPE! Instead of doing something to fix the problems of the season, we get three, count them THREE FILLER EPISODES back to back after Evie's final episode as a mermaid and a main character. The First one being a time traveling episode featuring Ondina, Mimmi and Weilan nearly destroying Zac's future! You know between this filler episode, the finale to "Power Rangers: Dino Super Charge", The Flash storyline of "Flashpoint",The finale of the second season of "DC's Legends of Tomorrow" and Every Time Travel Movie and Episode of a TV Series that kicks the Space Time Continuum in the Po-Pos it wouldn't surprise me if one day we saw the space time continuum having committed suicide and a note saying "God Forgive Me!" The Story FINALLY picks up steam in "Letting Go" and for the record this is the second to last episode before the two episode finale. Mimmi and Zac receive a vision of their mother Nerissa. Weilan shocked to hear Zac and Mimmi are in fact Nerissa's children tells Zac, Mimmi and the others that Nerissa disappeared after a rogue mermaid named Aurora threatened the Northern and Eastern Pod. While Zac and the others are hesitant to believe Nerissa is still alive much to Mimmi's irritation, during a Football Game Mimmi's Moon ring glows Mimmi believing it to be Nerissa. She gets away from the others and she swims out to the bay and uses her Moon ring to try and contact Nerissa,  buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut.... (The Dragon arises) the words I'm looking for her to do of course is "SWIM AWAY!" but the words for what my reaction is... (Cut to a clip of MST3K in which Crow shouts out "DULL SURPRISE!" before cutting back to the season and James doing a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): And like we've seen in the past Zac senses Mimmi is in danger from the dragon. Unlike last time when the Dragon attacked Evie, The Dragon spares Mimmi's life, tail and powers as it did to Zac earlier in the season. Afterwards with a heavy heart the two decide to let their mother go and perform a memorial celebrating Nerissa's life and to give very little credit to the writers of this season, this moment is one of the most heart wrenching in the entire series but it does show how close Zac and Mimmi have become and what they must do now to avenge those who were killed by the Dragon, their mother included. After one more episode which develops Rita's Character. The story continues in "The Legend Of Jiao Long". The mermaids attend a book signing and an exhibition for "Secrets Of The Deep" the author is the same person who found the Artifacts including a bracelet noted to be a part of the Legend Of The Jiao Long Dragon and it just so happens to be Rikki from "H2O: Just Add Water". Hmmm, wonder if Zane funded the expeditions to hopefully reunite with her. Anyway, The mermaids go to Shen's antique store where Weilan examines the painting of The Legend of The Jiao Long Dragon. The painting reveals a mermaid using the same bracelet from the exhibition on the dragon in the legend. The girls suspect that Rikki is a mermaid and the bracelet can defeat the water dragon. The girls inform her of their real identities and of the dragon, but in a surprising move Rikki does NOT believe them nor does she want to help them! The three later enlist Zac to help them steal the bracelet. The heist ultimately fails and the girls are forced to retreat when the police arrive. You know if this happened while Evie was still a mermaid or a main character she could be of help to convince Rikki to assist the pod in stopping the dragon. But again I have to remind myself, the writers hated Evie and Gemma Forsyth.

The storyline, season, and as of this post the series and the Shiff-verse of mermaids is mercifully taken behind the shed to be put down like Old Yeller with the episode "Homecoming". The Pod prepares to unleash the full power of the Moon Pool on the night of the Next Full Moon frying the Water Dragon to avenge...Oh wait what? It's not to avenge Nerissa or Evie? OF COURSE I FORGOT! THE WRITERS HATED EVIE! So it's so that no other mermaids suffer an Evie! I really need to be reminded how much the writers hated Evie this season. Meanwhile Zac and Mimmi continue to get visions of their mother contacting them. The two believing the spirit of their mother is in the Dragon and the only way to set it free is to get the bracelet and vanquish the dragon. Meanwhile Ondina and Weilan try to buddy up to Rikki in the moon pool. Rikki eventually agrees to help the pod but not before... this, just watch. (Show clip of Rikki telling Ondina and Weilan all the events of "H2O: Just Add Water" and what happened to her, Emma, Cleo & Bella's friendship before the video pauses and we cut to James physically with an angry look on his face as mouths the words "Excuse Me For A Moment" as he then walks out of his bedroom, down the hall, through the living room and Kitchen before cutting to the Basement door as James walks through the door and closes it behind him. The audio of someone going down steps is heard before a very loud and angry cursing is heard and a large amount of damage being done shaking the footage of the Basement door before hearing a very primal and loud roar then the sound of someone going up the steps, James opening the door before cutting to James' bedroom in which James sits down next to his laptop and James hits the space bar cutting to the clips of the Third Season of Mako Mermaids and James doing a voiceover.)

James Faraci (Voiceover): It was in that moment, Right there when Rikki Chadwick tells the audience that "H2O: Just Add Water" is now and always has been in the same universe and continuity as "Mako Mermaids". Now that's all fine and good and I think Jonathan Shiff should get the credit for coming up with this idea but now comes a moment for a guy like me who had to sit, watch and re-watch all 78 episodes of "H2O: Just Add Water" and all 68 episodes of this series to now go into a rant. A rant I've been waiting to get out of me that has to do with everything that happened in "H2O Just Add Water" and this series. And that rant is... (Cut to the outside of Mako Island then clips of "H2O: Just Add Water" as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): WHERE IN THE HELL WAS THE POD DURING ALL OF "H2O: JUST ADD WATER"? WHERE WERE THEY?! WHERE WERE THEY WHEN GRACIE AND HER FRIENDS WERE ON THE ISLAND AND THEY GOT THEIR TAILS AND POWERS?! WHERE WAS RITA WHEN RIKKI, EMMA & CLEO GOT THEIR TAILS AND POWERS?! WHERE WAS VERIDIA WHEN THE ISLAND WAS NEARLY TURNED INTO A TOURIST ATTRACTION BY ZANE'S FATHER? WHERE WAS ANYONE...ANYONE IN THE POD WHEN DR. DENMAN THREATENED TO HARM AND EXPOSE RIKKI, EMMA AND CLEO?! WHERE WAS ANYONE IN THE POD TO HELP RIKKI, EMMA AND CLEO WHEN THEIR POWERS EXPANDED? WHERE WAS ANYONE IN THE POD WHEN CHARLOTTE HAPPENED?! WHERE WAS LYLA, NIXIE, SIRENA, AQUATA, ONDINA, MIMMI ANYONE IN THAT FRIGGIN POD WHEN THE MOON POOL WATER BECAME SENTIENT, WENT ON THE ATTACK AND WHEN THE COMET NEARLY DESTROYED THE ISLAND AND SUBSEQUENTLY THE WORLD?!?! DID THE WRITERS...Oh yeah, I forgot they just didn't care, whoops. (Cut back to the finale of Mako Mermaids as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): But anyway this is the reason I came up with the "How I would've Written it!" segments, this is the reason I came up with such convoluted ideas, storylines and hell even making up "The Guardian" to make sure people knew everything that happened in H2O and Mako was in the same continuity. Yeah a lot of it didn't make sense in terms of a ongoing story but still it was better than what the writers gave Rikki in this episode because that was just the laziest basic description of the 78 episodes of "H2O: Just Add Water" told by one of the characters from "H2O: Just Add Water" and telling everyone nothing about everything that truly happened and letting us know the friendship between Rikki, Emma, Cleo and Bella ended... because... MAKES IT EASY! UGH! At any rate Ondina gets the bracelet before it's donated to charity. However The Pod isn't going to try to use the bracelet as they attack the dragon with using the moon pool unhindered that is until the moon appears at the right angle for Mimmi and Zac to use the bracelet against the dragon until... (Show the clip of Mimmi using the bracelet to vanquish the dragon and it appears to destroy both the dragon and Mimmi before cutting to the rest of the episode)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Of course if it was Evie you know the writers would've killed her with the one ACME Dynamite Kit that actually worked blowing Evie to smithereens just for their perverse jollies because again the writers HATED Evie & Gemma Forsyth. But I digress, Mimmi survives but surprisingly she's not the only one! (Show clip of Nerissa & Mimmi emerging from the water and embracing Zac and Mimmi.) That's right, Mommy has come back. Nerissa tells everyone that a Mermaid from the Eastern Pod casted the spell that turned Nerissa into the dragon that destroyed that Pod and then put into a deep sleep until Zac and Mimmi reunited when Weilan hit the water where Nerissa was sleeping it awakened her. So everything bad this season including what happened to Evie happened because of BLIND STINKING SIMPLE DOO-DAH CLUELESS LUCK! I'll be down in the basement while the ending of this finale plays. (Cut to the moments in which Zac, Cam, Carly and Evie discuss whether or not Zac should disclose his mer-family to his human parents, Mimmi reveal to her boyfriend that she's a mermaid, Weilan getting a moon ring and planning on reviving the Eastern pod with Ondina helping and Rikki getting an invite to join The Pod with Rikki wanting her friends to join as well then cut to the ending of the episode before fading to black then cutting to clips of season 3 of Mako Mermaids as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Of all of the seasons of the series in the Shiff-verse of Mermaids, this one season, is without a doubt the worst! And what is worse is that this season had the potential to be the best and tightest sixteen episode season to wrap up any loose threads. They had so many opportunities to capitalize on the events of Season 2 and chose not to and even worse than that no matter how angry I want to get at this season I can't because it doesn't give me any reason to be angry outside of just bad writing and pacing. Everyone acting wise did the best with what they had and it was okay when everyone tried but again I think everyone in the cast must have known what I now know about this season. Jonathan Shiff gave up and like I said before everyone in the cast when they looked at the scripts for this season looked at the writers and they realized....(Cut to the clip of MST3K where Joel, Tom Servo and Crow say in Unison "THEY JUST DIDN'T CARE" before cutting back to the third season as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): And with all they could have done with this season it is now once again time for...(Cut to a black background and the words "HOW I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN IT!" in neon as James' voice echoes those words before hearing stock Game Show Music as clips of the season play in the background and James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): The season would begin with The Guardian cleaning up Rita's Grotto whilst listening to some classical music overlooking some photos of the two. One of them being a photo of Rita, The Guardian and Rita's fiancée. The two quickly realize it's been over five lustrum since Rita left the Pod and mention Sirena and Aquata had left for a vacation when we're introduced to Weilan with The Guardian having a vision in which The Guardian sees the dragon. Afterwards The Guardian and Poseidon have a conversation after Weilan prepares to join the others as a guest, Evie and Zac would be ready to join the pod in a full moon ceremony. It would be during the Ceremony which The Guardian would finally let the pod know all is back to normal and not only would Evie be ready to join the pod, Zac would be tasked to be the protector of the Moon Pool and Mako Island for The Pod but then Mimmi and Zac get a vision of The Dragon as it arrives. Evie tries to attack with the power of the moonlight and The Dragon attacks her, the island and the pod.

The Guardian arrives but when he looks into the Dragon's eyes The Guardian's eyes turn black and a strange tongue passes his lips all the while a portal opens up in the sky. A portal that make the mermaids become worried because if The Guardian keeps at it, the whole world would be destroyed. Then from out of nowhere Cam arrives after seeing a spiritual vision of The Guardian and when Cam touches it Cam becomes possessed. Cam and The Guardian fight on the Island leading to a brawl in the Moon Pool between The Guardian and Cam. Zac tries to intervene but is immobilized by a possessed Guardian and the fight ends when Cam tackles The Guardian into the moon pool. Lightning emerging from the pool. At Rita's Grotto Veridia is informed of what had happened save for Cam stopping The Guardian. Cam begging Zac not to tell the Pod until it became pertinent. The Guardian tells he saw a face as he regained consciousness also Weilan would tell the truth for her reason why she would come to the Island, Veridia in turns sets the Pod to scour the earth for help in facing this dragon with Ondina, Mimmi, Zac & Evie volunteering to protect the Island and the Moon Pool in the pod's absence thus eliminating the Young Mermaid schooling storyline though the Dragon actually being Zac and Mimmi's mom would happen the same way.

In the following episodes Evie would be feeling the effects of the attack including her mop going on the fritz and attacking. Zac and the others would try to stop the mop though their attacks are ineffective it's in that episode Cam reveals the abilities that he has gained after the brawl between Cam and The Guardian in the first episode of the season which had been quickly growing in Cam since the end of that same first episode. The Guardian imbues Cam with the Title of The Apprentice to the Guardian and Cam embraces this new chapter in his life. Carly overseeing how much of her friends have been going through so much tries to gain a tail but Evie confides that her getting the tail was a byproduct of saving Zac because the Pool was in the middle of a full moon cycle. She embraced becoming a mermaid after the incident that made her become a mermaid in the first place so she could feel as if  everything in her life was coming together and now it feels like it's coming apart telling Carly that her powers and tail are starting to wane ever since the dragon's attack. Fearing her powers would eventually give out she tells Carly and Carly advices Evie to tell Zac. Zac in turn tells Rita and advises Evie to go to the moon pool in the first night after the Dragon is subdued. Evie in turn decides to heed Rita's advice and tells the others that she must stay away from the Island because of the waning of her powers and how it could hurt everyone, this news gets to Veridia and in a moment of development Veridia allows Evie that right until the night the dragon is subdued.

Later in the season, Cam hears about Rikki Chadwick coming back and telling the others that Rikki is his cousin which comes to a surprise to The Guardian and the mermaids of the pod remembering Rikki and her friends being a part of the pod with The Guardian telling them all about the events in "H2O: Just Add Water". Also Cam has been having a vision of a staff that looked like the trident which The Guardian remembers something like that as the "Steel Of The Sea" Cam eventually discovering the Trident was originally The Steel Of Sea but when the Mermen took control of the Island they converted it to The Trident. So it's up to Cam to re-forge the Staff before the next Full Moon arrives. The next full moon is upon them and Cam has a vision of the Dragon attacking Rita's fiancée, Cam tells Zac and the Mermaids however Rita discovers in secret. Angered by the fact Rita swims into the Moon Pool on her own to attack the Dragon with the Power Of The Moon Pool, sadly things do not end well as the others are hurt as they try to divert the power of The Moon Pool. The Guardian finally gets Rita to stop her attack but not before nearly being obliterated by Rita's blind rage. While the dragon is momentarily subdued Cam is injured due to Rita's anger and The Guardian sacrifices his immortality to save Cam. As time goes on Evie hears what's happening and wishes to return in any way she can but Carly knows it could cost her everything and tries to keep giving her hope and letting her know that when things are settled the two will be mermaids in the pod together. In the meanwhile, We get more history towards The Guardian. His original name being David Henry Daniel Jean-Dian. He was on his way back home after journeying through the seas to be married to the woman he loved until he was kidnapped onto a Pirate Ship that ship crashed outside of Mako Island and him being the only survivor it is where he was revived and trained under The Guardian before him. David met Ismira and fell in love leading to where he ended up throughout both series and eventually hoping Cam would not suffer the same fate but Cam learns quickly from The Guardian's tale to cherish the relationship he has with Carly. The season would come to head into the second to last episode as Cam, The Guardian, The Mermaids and Evie meet Rikki and while Rikki acts the way she did in the original, she had her reason why she left the pod and why she won't help. Cam and The Guardian join the Mermaids in confronting her in the moon pool hours after the failure of the first heist. In the meanwhile Evie would have discovered a photo of her mother and a video of her sacrificing herself to protect Evie from a Merman discovering she was born part mermaid ending the first half of the finale.

The second half of the finale has come, the pod has returned and they've come up with every rogue mermaid they could find and members of other pods to destroy the dragon and while the others get their hands on the Bracelet, Evie confronts her father about the truth about her mother. Evie's Father saying that she knew there was something special when Evie was born and that her father knew she was part mermaid all along and that no matter what happens from this point forward she's still his daughter and he was proud of her. In the end Evie makes a choice to embrace both parts of her life and is rewarded thanks to the spirit of her mother coming back and giving Evie her tail and powers back. The Dragon storyline coming to a close as The Pod prepare to vanquish The Dragon. Rita and Cam combine their strength to divert the powers of The Moon Pool but that's even then it's barely enough even as Carly finds a moon ring and helps. While Mimmi bides her time using the Dragon Bracelet given to them by Rikki, Cam sees something happen in the pool as the lightning converges onto "The Steel Of The Sea" and The Guardian making the final sacrifice, shedding himself of his physical shell and converting it into power to imbue Cam with everything that was left in him. Cam fully embracing the powers and title of The Guardian. Finally with the full powers of Mimmi and The Dragon Bracelet, The New Guardian and "The Steel Of The Sea" and with one mighty blast vanquish the Dragon and releases Nerissa. The ending would also be different as everyone involved in the moment sees The Spirit of the Old Guardian returns hovering above the moon pool glad to know that the Island and the Pod were protected by the next generation and is greeted by Ismira as The Guardian of old becomes one with the Immortal Sea. The series would end in the grotto in the not too distant future as Cam looking slightly older with a few whiskers and a bit of grey where the darker color of his hair was as he writes down what happened in the last day of The Guardian before him as he, Carly and their children ready themselves for the next Full Moon ceremony, Carly and the kids are now part of the Pod, as is Evie, Zac and their children, Mimmi and her children, Ondina and Erik after some time reunite and their children are now part of the pod as is the children of Sirena and David and the Children of Aquata, Lyla and Nixie and the children of the mermaids that were in "Mako Mermaids" & "H2O" are now the future of the pod and taught by Rita, As Cam looks upon the sky, Cam's final thoughts are of his former mentor and an image of The Guardian of old looking out from up above at everything Ending this show and franchise on a proper closure note in this the edition of...

(Cut to a black background and the words "HOW I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN IT!" in neon as James' voice echoes those words before cutting back to clips of the season three as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): I might as well talk about all the characters who have been around since the beginning of this series, starting with the secondary characters and the development they went through in the series and to be honest how little development there was for them and the least developed was David. When we meet David he works and partly owns the Juice Bar that everyone meets at. While there was potential he didn't go anywhere. He gave Sirena a chance to perform at the Juice Bar and was basically Sirena's love interest and that was it. When Sirena told David her identity as a Mermaid it looked like something big was going to happen to the couple. Of course Sirena left the show and all David had that was left was the Juice Bar which nearly got closed but by circumstances in this season David keeps the place open thanks to Cam buying out David's Brother's Share in the Juice Bar. Carly gets just about the same amount of development. She's Evie's best friend and for the record how and why the Writers decided not to drop the same amount of development and crap on to her as they did Evie I have no clue. She did have a brief relationship with David but instead wound up with Cam. She found out through extreme circumstances that Evie, Zac and the others were mer-folk. and once Sirena left the show she began singing at the Juice Bar, GREAT DEVELOPMENT GUYS and like David went nowhere in the series.

As a matter of fact in the show's entire run in terms of Secondary Character Development Cam, Evie and Rita got the lions share and yes there is a reason why Evie is in the Secondary Character group because at the end of the day that is where the character ended up. Now I know what many of you thinking "Why did they make Evie a main character in the second season? Why did they do any of what they did to her around if they hated her?" the answer is simple, because they needed someone to suffer. In the first season she cared for Zac and was concerned that Lyla, Nixie and Sirena were either out to hurt him or take him away from her but when their secret was revealed she genuinely was repentant for her attitude towards the mermaids. In Season two when they made her a mermaid and a main character, it was great development for Evie. Sadly it also gave the writers carte blanche to use their ACME Cartoonish plot devices and they went through the gambit with Evie. She nearly exposed her identity multiple times including when she had a cold and her powers went nuts and that was when Carly DID discover their identities, They shrunk her, they had her suffer from the Moon fever and in Evie's version of it she acts like an overactive five year old! They had her misuse her powers as if she was "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" and then just to cap it all off, she loses her powers and tail and give her no hope in recovering both of them and after everything they did to Evie and her actress Gemma Forsyth I direct this towards Jonathan Shiff. If you are working on another season of  "Mako Mermaids" or if you are able to connect this new series "The Bureau Of Magical Things" to both "H2O: Just Add Water" and "Mako Mermaids" PLEASE FIX THIS MESS AND COME UP WITH A PLAUSABLE SOLUTION TO RESTORE EVIE'S TAIL AND POWERS IN THIS NEW SERIES! This how I genuinely feel about this whole Screwjob needing to be rectified. What they did the character of Evie McLaren and Gemma Forsyth the actress who plays Evie was an inexcusable crime that has yet to punish the writers guilty of this heinous act! But if they choose not to fix this mess then this is directed towards Gemma Forsyth. If you ever comes to Sullivan County New York for ANY reason, I will GLADLY give you a check for a couple hundred dollars, a box of Chocolates, some flowers and a card as an apology for what the writers put you through.

Cam gets the second most development of the three of the secondary characters who got development. He was Zac's closest friend and comrade throughout the first season. But they had a falling out specifically when it came to the Trident. By the second season it appeared the friendship was over all because of Zac being a merman and the trident. However Cam did some good throughout the second season. He helped keep Evie incognito when Ondina and Mimmi were trying to strip Evie of her tail, Cam started a relationship with Carly in the episode "First Date" to give him something good, possibly making up for what happened in the episode before that one, in which Cam absorbs some of the Moon Pool water and gained Powers only to lose said powers by the end of that episode, But in all honesty why not let him keep and develop those powers? He would've been of some use in this season, Oh well at least it lasted for an episode. By the time the second season ended he and Zac were friends again and showed that his loyalty was to Zac and the Pod. Even helping demolish the Merman Chamber after it had been rendered inert. A bit redundant like putting out a fire with an extinguisher after it had died out but oh well, In this season he convinces David's brother to a buy out and kept the Juice Bar going. He then tried to do things to better the Juice Bar but it nearly cost him Carly in the process. He does quit as Co-Owner to save his relationship with Carly before the end of the season and in the end Cam got what he truly needed by sacrificing what he wanted not a bad bit of development for the character.

Rita as a secondary character got the most development. When we are first introduced to her, she's closed off and when Lyla, Nixie and Sirena arrive in her introductory episode she's strict and very much a stick in the mud not wanting anything to do with them, even taking Sirena's sister's ring. Her only friend was her cat Poseidon. She has seafood delivered to her by David because she didn't interact with anyone outside of her work as a Principal at Zac's school. But by her next episode Sirena helps her open up and tell her backstory. She fell in love with a human male and left the pod for him. She and her fiancée were to be married but after her fiancée died she spent her time alone in exile and eventually became the Principal of Zac's school. Rita eventually gave the original three sanctuary and taught them how to hone their powers. By the middle of the first season The three original mermaids considered Rita the first family they've had since the Pod left and casted them out. In the second season her development had her slowly coming out of her exile. She even got a episode in the second season focusing on her in "Only as Young as You Feel" she starts to have a relationship with a Marine Park director and tries some homemade lotion that adds moisture to whoever uses it. However Ondina screwed up the formula making Rita act like a teenager again and it was up to Zac, Evie and Sirena to hopefully keep her from exposing their secret and but in her hyper active state inadvertently helped a rescued dolphin get over it's struggles also when Mimmi tells Rita about the visions of Zac she was having throughout the second season you can tell in Kerith Atkinson's face she was putting the dots together quickly so when she told of Zac and Mimmi's of their familiar connection you knew that Rita was right and that she knew what she was talking about. In this season Rita had a nemesis in the form of the Science Teacher who would probably make her life a living hell for reasons. Her development came to a head in the episode before the two final episodes of the series "Age Before Beauty" a concoction for a spell that enhances age is accidentally confused by Weilan for a Tea which causes Rita to age rapidly right before a review of her abilities as a Principal. As She and Mimmi sit together she realized she had quite a life as a human and as a Principal but missed her life at sea as a mermaid. Out of either shame or fear of being laughed because of her failed relationship with her fiancée, she stayed in the Human world because Rita felt like an outcast to the pod and in the human world she exiled herself away from everyone else because she wasn't like them and in essence she was alone in two worlds. But when the spell is reversed and after going through her review she decides to quit being the Principal and return to the Pod to be the teacher to the young mermaids reconnecting to both worlds and in turn the world she had left welcoming her back with open arms.

As for the Main mermaids and Zac well... Again I'll start from the least and build my way up to Zac and the least developed of the Mermaids in the entire series was Weilan. Now that is not a knock towards her actress Linda Ngo. I'm sure she is a fine actress but when Weilan was all Sparkle, Sparkle, Sparkle, Happy, Happy, Happy she grated on my nerves and when she was trying to be serious, I couldn't take Weilan serious at all because again one of her first scenes was taking a Selfie with Poseidon and in the next she's saying that with the dragon unleashed no mermaid is safe and it felt like she was putting out a bad performance and as the season dragged she didn't do much to remedy this and again I do agree with Ondina on this, if Weilan didn't come to the Pod then the Pod would not have been in danger and Evie would not have lost her tail and powers. But she did try to teach Zac some spells to defend the pod and was the only one who actively tried to stop the dragon. In fact after Evie's screw job she nearly leaves hoping the Dragon would follow her and stop causing pain to the Pod, she eventually stays and helps vanquish the dragon and earn a moon ring, possibly Evie's because the writers wanted to get one more bit of trolling towards Evie and decides to restart the Eastern Pod by the end of her run. But by that point I had given up on her and the fact everything that happened to Weilan and everything bad that happened this season was simply because of BLIND STINKING SIMPLE DOO-DAH CLUELESS LUCK didn't exactly make me like her any better. And now for atonement's sake I shall let acclaimed Asian Character Actor James Hong shove a pair of Chopsticks up my nose, drag me down a hallway and then toss me down an elevator shaft. (Cut to a clip from Balls Of Fury as it has a photo shopped picture of James over Jason Scott Lee and James copies the reactions of Jason Scott Lee as it cut to James Hong dragging James by the nose and he speaks in Chinese and James translates the subtitles as the following "You dishonor every Asian actress you white trash piece of crap! Asshole! I will see you in hell Gweilo! Happy Landings!" before James is tossed down an elevator shaft and cutting back to Mako Mermaids as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Ondina got the second most development by default. Her character was originally very headstrong and more times than not made the most mistakes which is where most of her development came from. It took her a few episodes to accept Zac as a friend and when she did it helped her accept Erik as someone she wanted to be with when the two became a couple. However when Erik became the De Facto villain by the end of Season 2 she had to break up with him because he was toxic to her. So it kind of baffled me why the hell she was given a teaching assignment to the young mermaids and I'm going on a hunch and that's all I have, If I am wrong, I will apologize for what I say in a later post but my hunch says originally Sirena was meant to take the Teaching assignment and would look to Rita to mentor her while doing the job and her relationship with David would suffer eventually leading to David and Sirena calling it quits! Balking at that idea, Amy Ruffle decided to take her fishtail and scaly top and swim the hell away from there with her middle fin in the air! But when Rita took over the assignment to teach the young mermaids that actually gave Ondina the freedom to join Weilan in rebuilding the Eastern Pod. But that didn't mean she didn't pull a whopper this season. In one of the endless filler episodes of this season Ondina tried to sabotage Mimmi's relationship with a guy named Chris who worked with Mimmi at the water park and why did she do that? Because Ondina didn't want Mimmi to suffer the same way she did when Ondina was with Erik. UM EX-SQUEEZE ME ONDINA! BUT YOU WERE WITH A MERMAN WHO NEARLY DESTROYED YOU AND THE POD! MIMMI IS WITH A HUMAN WHO WORKED WITH HER AT THE MARINE PARK! TOTALLY DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND TOTALLY DIFFERENT SITUATIONS THE SECOND YOU THINK ALL GUYS ARE THE SAME THAT IS WHEN YOU ARE BEING ELITIST, STUCK-UP AND ANNOYING AS ALL GET OUT! IF IT WAS PROVEN THAT MIMMI COULDN'T HANDLE THE RELATIONSHIP THEN YOU CAN STICK YOUR NOSE INTO MIMMI'S RELATIONSHIP AND BREAK THE COUPLE UP.  YOU DON'T HAVE ANY RIGHT TO BE A PART OF OTHER PEOPLE'S RELATIONSHIPS WHEN IT DOESN'T INVOLVE YOU! But my rant aside she did overcome most of her flaws during her run and became less of the egotistical mermaid she was and became more subdued and overall a less irritating character. 

Mimmi was intelligent and inquisitive of the human world so when she arrived at Rita's School she automatically caused conflict between the Science Teacher and Rita. She was also a skilled spell caster and could create concoctions and for the sake of the plot she and Zac would have shared visions of each other which was a sign for Rita that there was something between the two. One aspect of Mimmi's character that was reminiscent of Cleo in "H2O: Just Add Water" was the fact Mimmi worked at a Marine Park in which she developed a relationship with a guy named Chris. Mimmi even helped Chris in secret get an internship by helping connect to Dolphins, M'Kay. When Rita asked Mimmi about her mother and to me it's a damned surprise that she remembers her mom at all because again I ask about how good a parent can a mermaid be? When Rita discovers the familial connection between Mimmi and Zac, the fact she embraces Zac as her brother quickly made her character development more enjoyable. The fact that Mimmi was undeterred and was able to hold her own and be one of three couples to hold onto a stable relationship in this series tied her and the last character I'm going to talk about for most developed.

And Who tied with Mimmi for the most developed? Her Brother Zac of course. Over the entire series run Zac was the character every story had to hinge upon. In season one his character development started when he had to take a leak while camping with his buddy Cam which happened by coincidence led to that fateful moment when he found the entrance to the cave which led him to the portal that led to him falling into the Moon Pool and gaining his tail and receiving his powers. So when Rita was told Zac's name by Lyla, Nixie and Sirena, you could see on Rita's face that she knows something Uber-bad must have gone down and that if something had happened to be Zac Blakely and the pod had left because of Zac it wasn't good news. But ultimately Zac showed that not all humans and subsequently all mermen were made the same. Although there was a few times when you could see the dark side of him. Like when he nearly sent those two trolls to their watery grave after giving him so much grief throughout the episode after he discovers he was a naturally born merman. His better traits and characteristics shined through a lot in the series. In fact when he looked at Erik in season two and how he was, Zac saw something he could've been if the Blakelys hadn't adopted him. Kind of looking at someone else and seeing a dark image of yourself in a mirror and what you could've been but didn't because you were surrounded bygood people. And again I hate saying this but What kind of Parent is a mermaid at all if they can't raise their child or children properly? Seriously! While in the final season he was not at the center of the story he wasn't shoved to the side we did see development as he tried to learn how to fend off the dragon and slowly become the protector of the pod. But when the whole Mommy mermaid being the dragon thing came up it derailed that development but it did make an interesting end point to his character's development finding something he thought was lost forever. So when he decided to go on his trip with Mimmi and their mom in order to bond and eventually tell the Blakelys about everything that had happened to him. It was a no brainer on his part.

(Cut to Clips of the entire Shiff-Verse of Mermaids shows as "Part Of Your World" instrumental plays in the background and James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): While the next chapter of the Shiff-Verse of Mermaids is in question, I want to thank you all for joining me on this retrospective series. What started off as a fun romp through the waters of Mako Island turned into something better than anyone would've expected save for this season of Mako Mermaids and if you want to see more of this then I suggest you go and be a part of Manic Expression's Patreon through their link here: https://www.patreon.com/manicexpression and through Rowdy C's Patreon through his link here: https://www.patreon.com/RowdyCProductions. While "H2O: Just Add Water" is available in full on DVD, Sadly Mako Mermaids Season One is only available, at the time of this post, Regents free on DVD. But You can find both on Netflix, Hulu,YouTube and Amazon Prime and other streaming services. But until the next chapter is written, I think I'm safe closing the book on this retrospective. For now I'm James Faraci, enjoy the adventure, be careful of the water and I'll see you later. PEACE!

(Cut to even more clips of the Shiff-Verse of Mermaids as "No Ordinary Girl" play then "I Just Wanna Be" play in the background of the clips before they fade to black before James says in the background "And now an interview  done by Trace Beaulieu and Frank Conniff of Mystery Science Theater 3000 Fame with Jonathan Shiff as part of the Promotion Tour for this season of Mako Mermaids" before cutting to the clip of Mystery Science Theater 3000 as TV's Frank looks at the bum who is supposed to be the guy behind "The Attack of the Eye Creatures" looks at him and says "You don't really care, Do Ya?" before cutting to black)

Just Add Water: My Mako Adventure: Mako Mermaids Season 2 Part 1

(0:25-1:02 of the Second Season trailer of "Mako Mermaids" plays before cutting to 1:01-1:20 of the trailer as James does a voiceover.)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Love Zac's reaction to his girlfriend growing Gills, Fins, Scales and a Tail! By the by Zac, I just heard from Tommy Wiseau he wants you to be Johnny in a remake of "The Room" and also to say "YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, ZAC!" Welcome my friends To Mako Mermaids Season two.

(Cut to Scenes from season two of "Mako Mermaids" as "I Just Wanna Be" is played in the background before cutting Mako Island before it cuts to a scene of James in a lounge chair and the words "Just Add Water: My Mako Adventure" above James before cutting to clips of the show and the season as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Okay before we begin there is some clean up work I need to get to. First off, for some inexplicable reason this season was split in two mini-seasons of thirteen episodes by Netflix here in the States making the second half of Season Two into Season three and next season into season four and just to clarify I'm going with the original amount of seasons and episodes according to the Wikipedia page for Mako Mermaids so take that for what it's worth. In addition actresses Lucy Fry & Ivy Latimer was unavailable to commit for a second season for unknown reasons. Their characters are written out reportedly helping the Pod find a new home and we'll get two replacement characters to fill in the slots of Lyla and Nixie. One who is just there to fill in the third slot and the other one will be a character of importance to the story of this season and the development of Zac, also something interesting to note Gemma Forsyth who played Evie as a supporting character in the first season is upgraded to the main cast, maybe to apologize for "Evie Times Two" or so maybe the writers could get away with using their cache of Cartoonish style punishment onto her. But we'll get to what happens to Evie when we get there in this and the next season, for now let's get into the second season properly.

The season begins with the episode "The Seventh Cycle". With the pod still away from Mako Island in fear of Zac, two new mermaids join Sirena in hopes to bring the pod back to Mako. Ondina played by Isabel Durant and Mimmi played by Allie Bertram. Mimmi apparently is from The Northern Pod.... a less than subtle nod at Allie Bertram's roots. For those who don't know Actress Allie Bertram is from Canada, home of Bret "Hitman" Hart, Wayne Gretzky, Canadian Maple Syrup and Phelous. If you didn't know that well now you do. Anyway The two join Sirena in the hopes of warning him about the Seventh Moon Cycle of a merman however Zac is drawn to the Island the night his Seventh Cycle begins. With no other option Ondina and Mimmi decide to move forward with their plan to use a potion to strip Zac of his tail, powers and connection to the Island. However Evie swims in to save Zac. When Sirena hears that Evie entered into the moon pool, she fears something bad may happen to Evie. Mind you if "H2O: Just Add Water" is in the same continuity as this show, Evie should become a mermaid in 3... 2.... (Show Evie's first transformation and everyone's surprise at this before cutting to clips of "The Seventh Cycle" and then clips of the second season as James does a voiceover.)

James Faraci (Voiceover): "The Seventh Cycle" definitely shook up the status quo of the last season. Nixie & Lyla's departure and Ondina & Mimmi's introduction felt reminiscent of the first, second and final season openers of "H2O" and in the case of  Evie having gone into the Moon Pool and the next morning having become this new thing she didn't expect to be and Zac becoming more connected to Mako Island just adds to the familiarity. We get some great follow-up to the season opener in the next few episodes. In "A Sticky Situation" Evie tries to adapt to having become a mermaid with Zac and Sirena being the most supportive in trying to assist Evie into being a mermaid while Mimmi tries to use a shapeshifting spell to strip Evie of her tail the plan backfires by the end of the episode and everyone involved decides to be more supportive of her in her new life and train her to harness her powers. We're also introduced to Erik in this episode. He'll have a role in this season as well. In the episode "Discovery" Ondina and Zac fear that he will become a threat to the Pod by the next full moon. Using a Moon Ring they hypnotically put Zack into a Trance at Zac's insistence to see what will happen. They find a chamber in which Rita tells the mermaids and Zac about the Chamber and how it was made by Mermen when they had control of the Island during the Great Conflict. Apparently the Island changed hands several times between Mermen and Mermaids also The chamber has the ability to cause Mermaids to disappear into another world where there's nothing but water and no surface to speak of. In the next episode Ondina accidentally exposes the fact she's a mermaid to Erik while Erik in turn tells Ondina he's a merman. YES, There's more mermen than just Zac.

A few episodes later Ondina convinces the Pod and the head of the Mermaid Council, Veridia to give the three until the next full moon to strip Zac of his powers and tail. Also in this episode there is a plot about a kid mermaid named Neppy who for all intent and purposes BUGGED THE HELL OUT OF ME! I know that this is a kid's show and they have to cater to all kids of all ages but this was pandering to the youngest denominator short of a toddler. In the episode before the mid season finale Mimmi admits she has been having visions of Zac to Rita. In that same episode Rita thinks Zac who  has been having visions of Mimmi  throughout the season as well thinks that maybe there was a reason for Zac becoming a merman in the first place.

The story continues in the episode "Reunion". Sirena decides with the next full moon to help Evie properly absorb the powers of the Full moon and control her powers after a filler episode earlier in the season in which Evie had a case of Moon Fever in which she acted like my youngest niece... after she has eaten 1000 chocolate bars... and let loose in the house... unattended. In the meanwhile Veridia decides to get proactive and confronts Zac in the Merman Chamber Rita protects Zac and reveals a shocking twist that Mimmi is in fact Zac's biological sister and a naturally born Merman born to a powerful mermaid named Nerissa. Mimmi stands by her newly found brother and Ondina in turn stands with Zac as well having spent most of this first few episodes of the season hating and fearing him simply because he was a merman. Rita, Ondina, Mimmi and by association Sirena and Evie are subsequently banished from the pod. Zac after regaining his senses and learning of his true heritage takes the news about as well as one can when they discover they were never human at all. (Show ending of "Reunion" before fading to black)

To Be Concluded in Part 2

Just Add Water: My Mako Adventure: Mako Mermaids Season 2 Part 2

(Fade to Clips of the Second Season of Mako Mermaids as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Following the mid season finale we get some good development for Zac in "A New Man".  Zac tries to come to terms with being a natural born merman and with Mimmi being his sister all the while two people who I swear are Online Trolls decide it's a smarty smart thing to taunt the guy going through inner turmoil. He nearly sends the two to their watery graves but thankfully Evie and Mimmi stop him before he does so. Mimmi reminding him he had two caring human parents and Mimmi had the Pod. Seriously, How bad a parent is a freaking mermaid if they can't raise their own children. We also see the backstory of how Zac's parents found him as a baby. By the end of the episode Zac accepts that he is a naturally born merman and that Mimmi is his sister also Cam and Zac become friends again after spending the end of last season and most of this season at each other's throats. After a few filler episodes, the story continues in "The Merman Code". Cam studies a photo of symbols on the pedestal in the chamber. Cam theorizes the symbols he saw in the picture of the Pedestal correspond to carvings he saw outside the Island in the coral. Mimmi discovers how the Pedestal works and Zac frees Erik from the same Water dimension Ondina was trapped in earlier this season.

After a few more filler episodes including one in which the writers shrank Evie during her birthday just so they can get their Tormenting Evie Jollies, the story continues in "New Orders" a surprise awaits Ondina in the Moon Pool. Veridia comes to tell Ondina to use her powers to destroy the chamber once it's been activated by Zac. Ondina agrees but on two conditions. One, Sirena, Mimmi, Rita, Evie and herself are no longer banished from the pod and Two, the pod returns to the Island by the next full moon no debates and no more fearing Zac. However Zac decides not to activate the chamber when Rita tells that he and Mimmi are descended from the couple who built the chamber during the Great Conflict. Ondina manipulates Zac into activating the chamber. Zac enters the code and reveals a hologram of the Trident from last season which stands to reason the chamber was built by mermen and using the trident would unlock the chamber's full power. But seeing as how the Trident was destroyed last season there's no reason for them to be afraid the chamber. The Chamber for all intents and purposes can't be unlocked to it's fullest potential, the Trident was destroyed unless somehow there's a piece of it still intact which I doubt. However Ondina nearly goes through with her plans but Mimmi thinks destroying the chamber would destroy the Island as well and Ondina stops. The next day the three tell Veridia what happened. Veridia tells the three that their Banishment will end when the pod returns which will be on the night of the next full moon.

After more filler episodes including a couple of episodes involving hard choices for the three and an episode in which Carly a secondary character who sadly will be the second least developed character over the run of the entire series as she discovers the others' secret of being merfolk. The story continues in the episode "The Trident Stone". Erik learns from Cam that the Trident was destroyed and he doesn't know what happened to any of the remains. Rita admits she kept the Stone from the trident after the rest of the trident was destroyed thoroughly though it is Dormant once Zac touches the stone it shows signs of it still having power. In the meanwhile Rita discovers that the existence of the chamber is to drain Mermaids and the Moon Pool of their Powers and once the stone is placed in, every mermaid on the planet would be in danger. Zac tries to hide it even giving it to Cam for safe keeping. Cam in a bit of Character development decides to return the stone to the Mermaids vowing NEVER to betray Zac or the Mermaids again! Erik finds the stone and drains the powers out of Zac. So in short all the mermaids in the world are officially up the crick sans a paddle, boat, life preservers and they all forgot their swimming lessons.

The season comes to a close in "The Chosen One". The Full Moon is approaching quickly and time is running out. Ondina begs Erik not to activate the chamber! However it falls on deaf ears! Zac in the meanwhile, feeling totally powerless seems to have thrown in the towel, not even when Cam and Mimmi try to encourage him to at least try. It's not until Evie encourages him in a way the others didn't that Zac starts to think about how hard he can take a hit and keep moving forward. The girls try in vain to stop Erik which ends badly for the three and when Zac comes back to fight Erik over the stone, Erik wins using it to power the chamber to it's fullest capacity. Hurting all the mermaids, except for Evie. Hmm, Me thinks the writers are gonna do something most foul next season to Evie for being the hero this season. Evie arrives at the chamber and helps Zac deactivate the chamber for good but the cost is that of Zac's life. However Mimmi successfully revives Zac and his powers after placing the stone on him reducing the stone to dust. With the chamber now permanently inert, Ondina decides it's a smart move not to stay with the guy who nearly killed her, Sirena tells David who had been her love interest throughout her tenure she's a mermaid and David takes it in stride. Zac & Evie are made honorary members of the pod, Evie getting a moon ring and Rita tells everyone in the grotto at the ceremony her belief that this will lead to union of Humans, Mermen and Mermaids. So Rita, do you have any other ideas that might be considered in the same realm of World Peace? (Show ending of "The Chosen One" where everyone swims to the Island to see the Pod has returned and everything ends happily before fading to black then fading to clips of the season as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Season two is the BEST season of the entire series. The characters were fully developed, the story while having twists and turns closed out the overall storyline of the series and ended it with a satisfactory ending for all of the characters. And seeing as how this does end Sirena's tenure on the show I will say her development was amazing. She started off as the most innocent but as the series progressed she came into her own. She convinced Rita to give the three the sanctuary by the end of the fourth episode of the first season but HOOO BOY did Lyla and Nixie pull some whoppers onto Sirena during their tenure with Sirena in season one. In a few episodes Lyla and Nixie try to sabotage her budding relationship with David who sadly by the end of the series will be the LEAST developed character and in another episode Lyla uses Sirena's sister's ring and Sirena so they can try to stop the rain from coming, it of course backfires and makes it snow IN the Grotto which causes Her and Lyla to develop a rash! Heck they even try a forbidden song that enchants a guy and it backfires! Her sister Aquata also during that first season tries to get her back into the pod leaving Lyla and Nixie in the lurch. But as much as Aquata and the pod means everything to Sirena, she chooses to stay an outcast in order to deal with Zac in the first season showing loyalty to her friends and who she is on the inside. In the second season she came into her own becoming the De Facto leader with Lyla and Nixie gone. She tried to convince Mimmi and Ondina not to use their Stripping spell on Zac and when it backfired and it gave Evie her tail and powers after it was decided that Evie should be welcomed into their lifestyle, Sirena personally took Evie under her fin, (Pun intended) and taught her how to handle her powers. Sirena also showed Ondina that the way she was taught by Rita was more effective than the new ways Ondina had learned but even in this season they did a lulu on her, in the episode "The Siren" it mainly involved Sirena being enchanted when a mermaid from the Northern Pod sang to a Kayaker... on a video... on YouTube. Okay. While in her enchanted state she nearly cost David his life, thankfully Ondina and Mimmi were able to reverse things and wipe David's mind of what had happened by the end of the episode. While Sirena eventually did tell David that she was a mermaid in the finale, it showed how much Sirena and David cared for one another especially when David's reaction to the revelation showed that he honestly did care for her no matter what or who Sirena was. The fact Sirena won't be back next season will leave David's development and character in the lurch. Erik started out a blank slate and while he became Ondina's boy toy throughout the season, the writers put the poor schlub through the wringer during his brief season long tenure even being transformed into a duplicate of Poseidon in one episode, it's no wonder that by the end of the season he became the villain of the season and when writers do that it means it is time once again for....

(Cut to a black background and the words "HOW I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN IT!" in neon as James' voice echoes those words before hearing stock Game Show Music as clips of the season play in the background and James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): While I wouldn't have written out Nixie and Lyla completely from the first episode, I would have had them be a part of the first act which would've been paced better. The Guardian meeting not only reuniting with Lyla, Nixie and Sirena but meeting Ondina and Mimmi as well. The relationship between The Guardian and Veridia having changed somewhat since the last time the two were together on-screen. He and Rita spent the off season time wondering certain things and the two of them having the same feeling when it comes to Zac getting his tail and powers and both of them thinking it wasn't just an accident and neither was the full moon incident where Evie got her tail and powers, The Guardian would do everything to help her acclimate to her new life mentions that there are "Others" not that different from Evie who just so happen to be The mermaids from "H2O" though for the sake of the story of this series. they're not mentioned. However Lyla and Nixie would spill the beans, Ondina, Mimmi and Sirena are officially banished from the Pod until Zac is dealt with and Evie has until the next full moon to either join the pod or join Ondina, Mimmi and Sirena in their banishment. Lyla and Nixie sadly must join the pod looking for a new safe haven ending the first episode. The season would continue for Evie being taught by both The Guardian and Sirena all the while Zac would be supportive towards Evie joining the Pod aiding in his character's development which would be made the same way this season right down to making Mimmi and Zac brother and sister. The Guardian  and Rita would stand with the banished mermaids as would Evie. In fact in the follow-up when Zac's parents told of how he was found by The Blakelys we'd also see The Guardian as his alias Mr. Jean-Dian as he helps Zac's human parents adopt Zac. The rest of the season going the way it does save for it just being Evie handling the situation with Zac. The Guardian would've held off Erik long enough for Zac to get the stone, reclaim his powers and destroy the Trident Stone rendering the chamber and the stone permanently inert. The Guardian would then wipe the memory of Erik and he'd never even remember Ondina or Zac or anyone or anything of Season 2. The end of the season would happen just as it would only after the pod returned to the Island, The Guardian would stand on top of the dormant volcano that leads into the Moon Pool knowing for now The Balance had been restored. Ending another edition of...

(Cut to a black background and the words "HOW I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN IT!" in neon as James' voice echoes those words before cutting back to clips of the season two as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover):  Had this season been the final season, it would've ended everything perfectly. The main conflict had been resolved. Zac had been accepted as a member of the pod. Evie was now a part of both halves of Zac's life, Ondina, Sirena and Mimmi had brought the pod back home to Mako Island. For all intent and purpose there truly was no reason for another season, however yet again Fans wanted one more season and Network Eleven, Netflix and Jonathan Shiff were more than willing to do so. But what could they do? Could the event that Rita hoped would happen come to pass? Maybe Cam, Carly and David would have some bigger role to play and lead to something good happening to the Pod! What would we get next time? Sadly we will get a series of missteps, bad ideas, one of the best characters in the series getting a worse Screw Job than what happened in Montreal 20 years ago to Bret Hart and ultimately everyone in the cast looking at what they were given to them by the writers and the cast realizing...(Cut to the clip of MST3K where Joel, Tom Servo and Crow say in Unison "THEY JUST DIDN'T CARE" before cutting back to the second season as James does a voiceover) But we'll get to that when we dive in one more time for now and see what drags the series down to the bottom of the ocean floor as we reach Season 3!

(Clips of the season fade to black then cut to a clip of the Mermaids confronting Cam as he summons a tidal wave to the three and they become mermaids after the wave rescinds and Cam being smug)

Ring My "Bell"s

(A Hand pulls out a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with the American flag design on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Tan Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James stocking up on his arsenal from the Classic Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers Morpher, a bandoleer stocked up with Sonic Screwdrivers, Ammunition for a 303 British Rifle and said rifle, The Ring Of Aeon, The Gem From the Gauntlet Malachite’s Hand, Emmalina’s amulet and the Sword Of Caliverti from 0:08-0:15 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators. 0:15-0:29 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run shows James leaping and running through moments from the 2016 calendar year of his reviews ranging from James morphing into his new suit for the first time, James getting slapped by Paulo, Mr. B Natural pop jump cutting into frame as James grabs Rowdy & The Nostalgia Kid as they scream in terror, Traci Hines shooting the Double Barreled handgun, Everyone trying to stop Eliza Dushku from using her switchblade knife on an unconscious Spoony,  James blast jumps and Eliza rolls out of the way as an electrical pulse knocks out everyone else before cutting to the clip of The Moviebusters pulling out their Proton Pack blasters until the 0:30 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows the team line-up of the majority of 2015 walking towards the screen as the camera rises over to see the American Flag and James’ signal in the sky as before cutting to James as he jumps and pulls out a sonic screwdriver before cutting over to a slab of titanium where lasers cut out “The Last Of The Americans” until 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run when James lands on top of the slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, Andrew Beach, John Santos & Eric Kurtzke on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Ed Champion, Olivia Horvath, Renee Miller and Mike Santos on his left doing their own heroic poses on a black background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James Faraci and Olivia Horvath in the backroom looking over names before James tells Olivia to take over for a bit)

TLOTA:

I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and The Views I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. As You can tell, I’ve been busy as all get out! (Audio of everyone else shouts “NO KIDDING!” before cutting to the rest of the team as they give James the Stinkeye.)

Eric Kurtzke:

We’ve been around so many kids I feel we’re becoming a school!

John Ross Santos:

The Kitchen is officially out of food and if it weren’t for the locks these kids would be into the things even you don’t touch!

Paulo Fonseca:

The toilet’s backing up again!

Nick Yaun:

I’m on it!

Renee Miller:

Are we becoming a daycare center? (Cut to James)

TLOTA:

Guys I told you, Disney is preparing their next Sequel series and this time it’s for Even Stevens. Here’s the scenario Ren is now working for the President and her husband works in the White House as well they have two kids and with a third on the way and with Ren’s Parents now in a condo in Boca Raton enjoying retirement and Donnie taking care of his kids and since the divorce with Tawny was settled Ren and her husband is now saddled with taking care of Lewis as well and all the wacky adventures that happens in Washington DC. Heck they even have a Return of Loomis episode. (Cut to everyone else)

Mike Santos:

Just how much longer will we be putting up with this?

Ed Champion:

Not much longer, otherwise we WILL be auditioning for The Nostalgia Critic!

Andrew Beach:

Ed, you just told him our escape plan you nimrod!

Brenda Fonseca:

Just why are you doing this, I thought you, Disney, Shia LaBeouf and Christy Romano were about as compatible as Oil, Water and Nitroglycerin! (Cut to James)

TLOTA:

Yeah, I know me, Christy, Shia and the Mouse Eared Regime have had our differences but I’m willing to put my disdain aside for the sake of the show, I am willing to put all my differences aside and make the series a success. (Cut to the others)

The Others (In Unison):

A healthy payday? (Cut to James)

TLOTA:

How did you figure it out?

Olivia Horvath (Off-Screen):

Told them an hour before they got here. A Cool three quarters of a mil! (Cut to the others)

The Others (In Unison):

Really?! (Cut to James)

TLOTA:

Yes, I got three quarters of a mil, but after taxes, paying for your services and all other expenses including paying off my family’s house’s mortgage I’ve got exactly $428.00 left that’s going into my savings account! Nice enough to pay off all the rest of the bills here. But to me, it’s not about the money, it’s about getting exposure for us and re-exposing people to a classic group of characters and if it lasts it’ll add to the show’s legacy. (Cut to titles of sequel series/spin off series/rebooted series as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

And to be honest shows like this RARELY work. Sometimes it’s either just too unknown to newer audiences, it can’t escape the legacy of the original or sometimes everything that worked in the original misses the mark with newer audiences or the show themselves shoot themselves in the foot by insulting and attacking what made the original series work in the first place. But when these sequels series, spin off Series or reboots fail, let’s just say I sometimes wait for online reviewers to go after these shows to remind me what I liked about the original series. But with Hollywood and TV becoming more and more desperate to stay relevant, they are willing to reboot ANY show they can to revive the Nostalgia of shows from yesteryears! But back when I was younger, some series didn’t even wait for the first series was over and left to stay in Syndication Purgatory for networks to reboot series. (Cut to James in his office.)

TLOTA:

Case in point, “Saved By The Bell”! (Cut to the opening of “Saved By The Bell” then clips of the show as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

If you’ve seen The Nostalgia Critic’s review of the series, then you know that the show in his opinion was too cheesy, too lame and just flat out offensive to anyone with intelligence rivaling Tapioca Pudding! But in all honesty, it wasn’t that harmful in the grand scheme of things and as people have discovered it was retooled after the series it originally was entitled “Good Morning Miss Bliss” failed on The Disney Channel the show is not that bad in comparison to some shows that just insult intelligence now a days. However, by 1993 “Saved By The Bell” was on its way out, but NBC had big plans for the series even though the series now had competition from within from shows like California Dreams and Hang Time and had competition from rival networks with FOX and The Power Rangers. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:

But that didn’t stop the Peacock network from trying with two shows bearing the name of “Saved By The Bell”. (Cut to the opening Credits of “Saved By The Bell: The College Years” & “Saved By The Bell: The New Class” then clips of both shows as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

“Saved By The Bell: The College Years” & “Saved By The Bell: The New Class” (Chuckles unenthusiastically) Yeah, neither one of these shows were as good or as memorable as the show that started it and you can tell they were really trying too hard to keep something that was a perfect little time capsule of the late 1980’s and Early 1990’s around a while longer and yeah it is painful now a days to sit through but you know they tried and wow did these fail to recapture ANYTHING from the original show not saying the original show is Shakespeare but in comparison to what came after it, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Mario Lopez and Tiffani Thiessen should thank their lucky stars they’ve been able to have stay relevant! (Cut to James in his office)

TLOTA:

So, I’ll try to get through BOTH shows as painlessly as possible and I’ll start with the one that got its quick end that thankfully saved more than the bell, it may have saved some of the actors’ careers. “Saved By The Bell: The College Years” (Cut to clips of the pilot of “Saved By The Bell: The College Years” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

So as our pilot… WAIT A SECOND! (James jumps into the video, grabs a still of the character of Zack’s head from the last season of “Saved by The Bell” and plants next to the still of Zack in the pilot of “Saved By The Bell”)

TLOTA:

GUYS! (Everyone else looks at the two different hairstyles before turning around)

Everyone (Singing In Unison):

One of these things is not like the other! (Cut back to clips of the pilot of “Saved By The Bell: The College Years” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Anyhow, we discover Zack, Screech and Slater are now dorm mates at fictional California University across from… (James groans audibly as it cuts to James physically)

TLOTA:

Okay, tell us who is the replacement for which character sans any likability or originality or creativity? (Cut to a still of the three original actresses as three dings are heard and the under the Character played by Essence Atkins and the words “Replacement Lisa Turtle”, under the Characters played by Anne Tremko and Kiersten Warren the Words “Replacement Jessie/Kelly” under both before cutting to the pilot as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Anyhow as Zack, Slater and Screech settle in with Replacement Lisa, Jessie and Kelly we’re introduced to their R.A. Mike Rodgers played by former NFL superstar Bob Golic and makes it clear that this isn’t Bayside and he ain’t Mr. Belding as they struggle to get through the first week of College in this yeah, the “We’re trying too hard to be better than the original series and yet keep our core audience” meter is going through the roof. But after the pilot aired people complained that they missed the original girls, Gee I wonder why that could be. So, by some miracle of the Peacock network they were able to get Tiffani Thiessen to reprise the role of Kelly and wrote out Essence Atkins’ Character when the series premiered in the fall of 1993 in Primetime. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:

Now I know you’re wondering two things. One, why didn’t Lisa and Jessie appear in the show and two, why was the show in Primetime and the answers are simple. (Cut to clips of “Saved By The Bell: The College Years” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

The reason the show was on primetime was because of the Syndication success the series was having and surprisingly still has this day and NBC tried to piggyback the success of the Syndication into the Primetime market and guess what “The College Years” BOMBED BIG TIME because it went up against Rescue 911 and Full House and do you know what happened, people went to see William Shatner and the Olsen Twins over Zack, Slater and the others’ wacky hijinks in college. As for why Lisa and Jessie didn’t appear well… Lisa does appear in the final episode. Yeah, the show got axed after 19 episodes. As for why Jessie Spano never appeared it’s because her actress Elizabeth Berkley was doing something else at the time. It was called disappearing off the face of the Earth for a while. Why? (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:

This is why… (Cut to the cover of the DVD of “Showgirls” as the losing horn from “The Price Is Right plays in the background before cutting to “Saved By The Bell: Wedding In Las Vegas” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

While Jessie does make a very brief cameo in the a reunion movie that acts as a finale to “The College Years” dubbed “Saved By The Bell: Wedding In Las Vegas” this movie has your standard Road Trip and Romantic Wedding movie clichés all in one and is the second of the two movies featuring the cast and by the end of “Wedding in Las Vegas” Zack & Kelly say their “I Do”s and as they ride off into the sunset the entire franchise should’ve ended but it didn’t because of another show that aired in “Saved By The Bell”’s old timeslot.  (Cut to James in his office)

TLOTA:

And sadly, it also bears the same name just in a different “Class” in the title! But we’ll get into that after the break. (The phone rings as James signals for one moment.) Hello, Oh hey yes, The Casting process is going well.

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it act as the commercial break intro and cutting to the opening credits to “Saved By The Bell: The New Class” then clips to the show as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

The same year the failed Prime-Time attempt to bring “Saved By The Bell” back. NBC successfully did so with the series “Saved By The Bell: The New Class”. (Chuckles unenthusiastically) Their first season had literally nothing interesting, not even the “New” Characters were interesting and I put the word “New” in quotations because the “New” characters were nothing but knock offs of the original characters. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:

It’d be like me bringing in someone else and calling him the same character and not even trying to do something different and going by another name. Isn’t that right Ed? (Cut to Douglas Yaun playing Ed Champion.)

Ed Champion (Played by Douglas Yaun):

Yeah, I hear where you’re coming from, just how much longer will this casting crap keep going on. (Cut to Tom Dittmar playing James Faraci The Last Of The Americans.)

TLOTA (Played by Tom Dittmar):

It’ll be over soon. (Cut to clips of “Saved By The Bell: The New Class” as The Real James Faraci The Last Of The Americans does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

The only person who went from the original series to “The New Class” was Dennis Haskins and his character Mr. Belding however after the failure of “The College Years” the producers were somehow able to convince Dustin Diamond to return to being Screech for the remainder of the run of “The New Class” and most of the new characters had as much of a shelf life as decade old batteries, meaning the cast were changed and changed often. But something happened as I watched some of the episodes. There were some themes and episodes that stuck out like anti-smoking, teen pregnancy and whatnot and they seemed to be interesting that is until I remembered the first time “Saved By The Bell” did something like that and well, just be glad I’m text instead of video because if I were to subject you to a certain clip, I’d be in violation of the Internet Creators Guild! But what surprised me as a Power Rangers fan was the fact that Amy Jo Johnson was in an episode and she had the hots for of all people… Screech! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:

I’ve got no joke! That is how strange that moment was! I have got NOTHING! (Cut to clips of “Saved By The Bell: The New Class” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

By the end of the fifth season I could see the show’s writers were starting to run on vapors of fumes. Even one of the characters’ names was uninspired seriously there was a character named Maria Lopez (Chuckles unenthusiastically). Eventually after seven years the show ended with a Pfft! The cast had “Graduated” and Mr. Belding became the Dean of his Alma Matter leaving Screech well… let’s say the less said about Dustin Diamond, the Better! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:

So That was “Saved By The Bell: The College Years” and “Saved By The Bell: The New Class” and if you thought the original show was a chore to sit through, then I triple dog dare you to sit through both of these and then complain about the cheesiness of the original show! (Cut to clips of “Saved By The Bell: The College Years” & “Saved By The Bell: The New Class” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

I guarantee you. You will find Zack’s original schemes a hundred times more interesting here than something some unknown character did that feels like a knock off from the original show. When not just one series but two series made me pine for the days of the overacting of Elizabeth Berkley “Hopped Up on Caffeine Pills” you have taken lame to Supercalifragilisticexpialiuberfail levels even the 2015 “Jem & The Holograms” movie can’t even reach! Yeah, I went there! If you for some truly bizarre reason you want to check either series, well you better try bootlegged episodes on Youtube for “The New Class” because the DVDs are out of print and is not syndicated and surprisingly “The College Years” is folded into the original series’ Syndication packet and is on DVD. Otherwise do yourself a favor and try to enjoy something more intelligent, like watching paint drying! (Cut to James in his office as he picks up the phone.)

TLOTA:

Hello, James Faraci The Last Of The Americans speaking! Uh-huh, uh-huh, Christy Romano would rather cover herself in Gasoline than work with me, Shia LaBeouf is no longer available due to other commitments, Pilot and series officially dead! Okay, I just paid off a lot of debts with the payday, am I on the hook financially to repay the three quarters of a mil? I am? Okay. Thanks for telling me the news. Right, right It was my pleasure to work with your fine organization albeit briefly. Yes, okay goodbye! (The audio of the door being knocked is heard as James turns around after slamming the phone onto the receiver.) WHAT?! (Cut to Olivia Horvath at the door.)

Olivia Horvath:

Did I just hear the project is dead? (Cut to James.)

TLOTA:

As everyone who died in 2016! (Cut to Olivia Horvath at the door.)

Olivia Horvath:

All I needed to hear (Olivia whistles) Okay guys turn them loose! (A small stampeding noise is heard as the camera shakes and it cuts to James as he tries to hold everything together)

TLOTA:

As soon as the crowd clears out I’ll be busy cleaning up the place! I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That’s My Opinion! (A loose piece of wood from above James clocks him in the head then cuts to James, Paulo, Brenda, Rebecca and Nick cleaning up and restocking the place.)

TLOTA:

Thanks for helping me with the clean-up!

Brenda Fonseca:

No problem James. You know we haven’t heard from Felicia as of late. Everything good between the two of you?

TLOTA:

Not really. She’s been busy having her own life and I’m not sure where we stand and I told her I think it might be best until things are more stable sanity wise and world wise. When everything is stable then we’ll talk and see where we stand.

(Cut to Paulo and Nick)

Paulo:

That’s James for “We are going nowhere and by the end of the year, She and I will be over”

Nick:

You got that from all of James just saying, “He wasn’t sure!” wow you are good. (Cut to James and Rebecca)

TLOTA:

What it means is I want to move forward and she wants to move forward but we need to find stable points in our individual lives before we move forward as a couple and if it happens, it’ll happen. Not gonna rush things and just take our time.

Rebecca Yaun:

Good for you.  (James accidentally knocks over the mop bucket)

TLOTA:

Crap, I’ll clean up the last bit of the mess. You guys lock things up and I’ll see you guys in October! (James walks away into the broom closet before a whisper saying “Hope” catches the ears of Rebecca, Nick, Paulo and Brenda.)

Brenda Fonseca:

You guys hear that?

Paulo Fonseca:

If you heard a whisper saying “Hope” then I know I’m not the only crazy one.

Nick Yaun:

If that whisper says, “If we build it, they will come” I’m heading to the funny farm in a wraparound jacket and all! (A whisper says, “You must be his hope!”)

Rebecca Yaun:

I think we may join you, honey. (The four of them walk into James’ office as the four of them look at “The Letter” and it glows and the whisper becomes louder as it says “You must be his hope! He has no faith in hope! Restore his faith in hope! Be his hope!” before James says off screen “HEY!” before the four of them turn to see James in the doorway.)

TLOTA:

I just had to lock up everything up because I thought you guys had left! Is everything alright? (Cut to the four of them in James’ office as they say either “Yeah” or “Yep” or “We’re fine” or “It’s all good” before cutting to James looking at the four of them)

TLOTA:

Okay, guys do me a favor please try and be ready we’ve got a “Different Cuts Of Halloween 6” coming up in October and I don’t need you guys going all screwy on me!  (Cut to the others in James’ office)

Nick Yaun:

James, we’re fine, it’s not like we’re hearing crazy whispers or anything like that. (Paulo, Brenda and Rebecca smack Nick upside the head before cutting to James)

TLOTA:

Riiiiight, listen I’ll have ORAC set up the security lockdown. Why don’t you head on out? I’ll see you in a few weeks. (James walks away before cutting to the others)

Rebecca Yaun:

Nick, you numbskull! If we tell James we’ve been hearing whispers from the letter we will be thrown into the nuthouse.

Nick Yaun:

I’m sorry but I couldn’t keep everything from him.

Paulo Fonseca:

Look James is barely hanging on as is. This might send him over the edge we need to speak to Olivia but she’s busy trying to raise the three-quarters mil to pay off the Disney Channel so until she returns we need to keep this to ourselves. Brenda that includes you in our little secret.

Brenda Fonseca:

Mi Marido. (Brenda kisses Paulo) ¡Te lo prometo, lo mantendré entre los cuatro!

Paulo Fonseca:

Muchismo Gracias Brenda.  (The four of them head out unsure of what to say and head out of the office.)