(A Hand pulling a
card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of
The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching
in the code 428 then cut to James jumping down a cliff from the 0:00-0:03 mark
from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04
mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James
Faraci landing and fully morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans
basic mode with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with the American flag design on it,
Blue cargo Jeans and Black Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the
final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James
fighting alongside the 2017 Power Rangers Movie Power Rangers at the 0:13 mark
from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run.
0:14-0:17 show Rebecca Yaun as Wonder Woman
and Nick Yaun as Steve Trevor charging the screen before cutting to John
and Mike Santos peeling out in The DeLorean From “Back To The Future” before
cutting to the 0:17-0:19 mark as it shows Paulo & Brenda Fonseca taking a
joyride in KITT from “Knight Rider” in Super Pursuit Mode before cutting to the
0:20-0:28 mark as we see Eric Kurtzke, Ed Champion and Andrew Beach flying the
USS Enterprise from “Star Trek” (2009) and Olivia Horvath flying The Orville as
it cuts to the 0:28 mark from the theme from the final season of American
Gladiators shows when James stands on top of his Time and Space device and
tosses his sonic screwdriver then cuts over to multiple clips from the past
five years of “The Last Of The Americans” reviews as the Sonic Screwdriver
flips end over end as the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of
American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a
slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike
Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun,
Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic
poses on a black background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season
of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and
everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it
before cutting to James and Julia Alexa Miller looking like disheveled as they
walk down the backside of the Neversink Reservoir as James carries a very
beaten and bruised Deadpool wisecracking and breaking the fourth wall while
being hauled in a Grocery Cart and a piano playing “Free Bird” is in the
foreground.)
TLOTA (Narrating):
You might be wondering why we look like we went the distance and LOST! You’re probably wondering why Deadpool is the way he is in the Grocery Cart.
You might be wondering why we look like we went the distance and LOST! You’re probably wondering why Deadpool is the way he is in the Grocery Cart.
Deadpool (Played by
Cambell Dodson):
We got our asses WHOOPED like a bunch of school kids and Yes James is pissing himself on the road!
We got our asses WHOOPED like a bunch of school kids and Yes James is pissing himself on the road!
TLOTA (Narrating):
Deadpool shut up!
Deadpool shut up!
Deadpool:
Okay
Okay
TLOTA (Narrating):
I guess it started back when Myspace was a social site and I’d just blog willy nilly about anything I had on my mind. Then I ended one blog calling myself The Last Of The Americans and then came Kickassia, the first movie I’d ever review! Eventually deciding to turn myself into an Internet Reviewer after being inspired by those on a site that is now a gigantic toilet bowl called Channel Awesome (James spits in the narration as he does in the real time)! Last year I got picked up by Manic-Expression.com to all of whom I am still grateful! Then a few hours ago I celebrated my fifth anniversary by having to review a movie I’d never thought would get to see the light of day. Let’s go back a few hours! (Cut to James in his office as he stands and does the diamond cutter sign)
I guess it started back when Myspace was a social site and I’d just blog willy nilly about anything I had on my mind. Then I ended one blog calling myself The Last Of The Americans and then came Kickassia, the first movie I’d ever review! Eventually deciding to turn myself into an Internet Reviewer after being inspired by those on a site that is now a gigantic toilet bowl called Channel Awesome (James spits in the narration as he does in the real time)! Last year I got picked up by Manic-Expression.com to all of whom I am still grateful! Then a few hours ago I celebrated my fifth anniversary by having to review a movie I’d never thought would get to see the light of day. Let’s go back a few hours! (Cut to James in his office as he stands and does the diamond cutter sign)
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own and have been some of yours for the past FIVE YEARS RUNNING! BANG! (Cut to a moment of Fireworks and Ode To Joy playing as an image of DDP as his face is in the background and does the sign of the Diamond Cutter sign before cutting to James physically doing the same position) BANG! WHOO! Now what after all that I’ve seen and what I’ve been through, what could possibly top my “Avengers: Infinity War” review? How can I surprise everyone? By going from one big Comic Book Movie Clusterbank to an even BIGGER Comic Book Movie Clusterbank! (Cut to opening credit of “Justice League” as the Opening Music to “Justice League Unlimited” plays in the foreground of the clips of the movie as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):“Justice League” is possibly one of the most incredibly good yet the most incredibly awful movies I’ve ever seen! I don’t know who is to blame the fans for not giving this movie a chance or DC Entertainment, Geoff Johns, Zack Snyder, Joss Whedon, Chris Terrio and Time Warner for just doing too much that it’d drive fans away after hitting No. 1 opening weekend worst than “Batman V Superman: Dawn & Justice”, “Suicide Squad” & “Batman & Robin”! But with this being DC’s attempt to get back into the fight against Marvel they should’ve thrown EVERY LITTLE BIT OF EFFORT INTO THIS MOVIE. BUT IT FELT SO HALF-ASSED EVEN HALF ASSED BAD MOVIES ARE LAUGHING AT THE LACK OF EFFORT IN THIS MOVIE! Now I know what you’re thinking didn’t “Wonder Woman” revive your faith in the DCEU? Shouldn’t you try to be a little more lenient towards this movie? Can’t you give this movie the smallest benefit of the doubt? (Cut to James Physically)
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own and have been some of yours for the past FIVE YEARS RUNNING! BANG! (Cut to a moment of Fireworks and Ode To Joy playing as an image of DDP as his face is in the background and does the sign of the Diamond Cutter sign before cutting to James physically doing the same position) BANG! WHOO! Now what after all that I’ve seen and what I’ve been through, what could possibly top my “Avengers: Infinity War” review? How can I surprise everyone? By going from one big Comic Book Movie Clusterbank to an even BIGGER Comic Book Movie Clusterbank! (Cut to opening credit of “Justice League” as the Opening Music to “Justice League Unlimited” plays in the foreground of the clips of the movie as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):“Justice League” is possibly one of the most incredibly good yet the most incredibly awful movies I’ve ever seen! I don’t know who is to blame the fans for not giving this movie a chance or DC Entertainment, Geoff Johns, Zack Snyder, Joss Whedon, Chris Terrio and Time Warner for just doing too much that it’d drive fans away after hitting No. 1 opening weekend worst than “Batman V Superman: Dawn & Justice”, “Suicide Squad” & “Batman & Robin”! But with this being DC’s attempt to get back into the fight against Marvel they should’ve thrown EVERY LITTLE BIT OF EFFORT INTO THIS MOVIE. BUT IT FELT SO HALF-ASSED EVEN HALF ASSED BAD MOVIES ARE LAUGHING AT THE LACK OF EFFORT IN THIS MOVIE! Now I know what you’re thinking didn’t “Wonder Woman” revive your faith in the DCEU? Shouldn’t you try to be a little more lenient towards this movie? Can’t you give this movie the smallest benefit of the doubt? (Cut to James Physically)
TLOTA:
Well, even the worst intentions can make someone forget after doing such a good job besides with what Warner Brothers and DC did made me forget the little bit of good and let’s face it they did their best to ruin the little bit of good with this movie. I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and THIS IS “JUSTICE LEAGUE”! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
Well, even the worst intentions can make someone forget after doing such a good job besides with what Warner Brothers and DC did made me forget the little bit of good and let’s face it they did their best to ruin the little bit of good with this movie. I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and THIS IS “JUSTICE LEAGUE”! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
So our movie starts as Superman played once again by Henry Cavill is being interviewed by podcasters. Oh, fun factoid They digitally deleted Henry’s Moustache which he refused to shave because he was in the middle of shooting the latest “Mission: Impossible” movie. Here’s an idea, instead of digitally removing it have the man marbles to stand up TO the Man Of Steel and say to him SHAVE THE STACHE! We then cut to sometime later in Gotham City as Batman played again by Ben Affleck is dangling a crook like a worm on a hook for parademon bait! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:Just like how a certain group of people think Batman would do to criminal scum! I WONDER WHO IT COULD BE?! (Cut back to the movie as James does a voiceover)
So our movie starts as Superman played once again by Henry Cavill is being interviewed by podcasters. Oh, fun factoid They digitally deleted Henry’s Moustache which he refused to shave because he was in the middle of shooting the latest “Mission: Impossible” movie. Here’s an idea, instead of digitally removing it have the man marbles to stand up TO the Man Of Steel and say to him SHAVE THE STACHE! We then cut to sometime later in Gotham City as Batman played again by Ben Affleck is dangling a crook like a worm on a hook for parademon bait! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:Just like how a certain group of people think Batman would do to criminal scum! I WONDER WHO IT COULD BE?! (Cut back to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Rather being dead than turn on his master, the parademon blows himself up. Back in the batcave Alfred played by Jeremy Irons preps Batman’s Jet and says the old standby (Cut to a clip of Phelous as he says, “It’s Time!” before cutting back to the movie as James does a voiceover.) Meanwhile we see clips of Superman’s funeral and the people who everyone thinks are stupid, you know the guys who think 2+2=4 are grieving meanwhile the 1% of people on this rock who think 2+2= IFLYDACHOOCHOOTRAIN are glad Superman died and the Trolls who hate Superman because he’s nothing like the cold-blooded Batman are probably still like this…! (Cut to a group of Trolls performed by members of Team TLOTA as they Conga sing & Conga Line dance “Superman is De-ead! He’s getting butt-raped by Sa-Tan!” five times before cutting back to the movie as James does a voiceover.) We soon find ourselves in Paris as Wonder Woman once again played by Gal Gadot stops a group of French Terrorists. (Cut to James physically)
Rather being dead than turn on his master, the parademon blows himself up. Back in the batcave Alfred played by Jeremy Irons preps Batman’s Jet and says the old standby (Cut to a clip of Phelous as he says, “It’s Time!” before cutting back to the movie as James does a voiceover.) Meanwhile we see clips of Superman’s funeral and the people who everyone thinks are stupid, you know the guys who think 2+2=4 are grieving meanwhile the 1% of people on this rock who think 2+2= IFLYDACHOOCHOOTRAIN are glad Superman died and the Trolls who hate Superman because he’s nothing like the cold-blooded Batman are probably still like this…! (Cut to a group of Trolls performed by members of Team TLOTA as they Conga sing & Conga Line dance “Superman is De-ead! He’s getting butt-raped by Sa-Tan!” five times before cutting back to the movie as James does a voiceover.) We soon find ourselves in Paris as Wonder Woman once again played by Gal Gadot stops a group of French Terrorists. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Never thought I say this but I am missing the insanity of “Fishtales” after saying that! (Cut back to the movie as James does a voiceover)
Never thought I say this but I am missing the insanity of “Fishtales” after saying that! (Cut back to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
In the meanwhile Bruce tries to find Arthur Curry aka Aquaman played by Jason Momoa to join him. Aquaman bluntly tells Bruce to shove his offer up his Bat-Hole! As Bruce and Alfred try to discover the mystery of the Mother Boxes mentioned in Lex Luthor’s notes. Alfred finds Barry Allen aka Flash and sadly it’s not Grant Gustin. But rather Ezra Miller and sadly the best description I can give of Ezra’s Barry Allen makes me say the following, I would rather have seen anyone else as The Flash than this twerp. (Cut to James physically)
In the meanwhile Bruce tries to find Arthur Curry aka Aquaman played by Jason Momoa to join him. Aquaman bluntly tells Bruce to shove his offer up his Bat-Hole! As Bruce and Alfred try to discover the mystery of the Mother Boxes mentioned in Lex Luthor’s notes. Alfred finds Barry Allen aka Flash and sadly it’s not Grant Gustin. But rather Ezra Miller and sadly the best description I can give of Ezra’s Barry Allen makes me say the following, I would rather have seen anyone else as The Flash than this twerp. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
As a matter of fact! Here’s my list of ten actors who’d make a better Flash! (Cut to photos of Michael Cera, Jay Baruchel, Jeremy Jordan, Zac Efron, Dave Franco, Nick Slimmer, Cambell Dodson, Doug Yaun, Andrew Garfield and Shia LaBeouf as the first twenty-seven seconds of “Frolic” by Luciano Michelini plays before cutting to James physically as James’ cell phone goes off) Hello! (Cut to Hell looking like a frozen rock cave as Satan is bundled up in Winter gear)
As a matter of fact! Here’s my list of ten actors who’d make a better Flash! (Cut to photos of Michael Cera, Jay Baruchel, Jeremy Jordan, Zac Efron, Dave Franco, Nick Slimmer, Cambell Dodson, Doug Yaun, Andrew Garfield and Shia LaBeouf as the first twenty-seven seconds of “Frolic” by Luciano Michelini plays before cutting to James physically as James’ cell phone goes off) Hello! (Cut to Hell looking like a frozen rock cave as Satan is bundled up in Winter gear)
Satan (played by
Paulo Fonseca):
Something you did cause it to freeze down here and the pilot light is going to take forever for me to light! So, what did you do? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:I put Shia LaBeouf onto a list of actors who I wanted to be The Flash in the DCEU Movies! (Cut to Hell looking like a frozen rock cave as Satan is bundled up in Winter gear)
Something you did cause it to freeze down here and the pilot light is going to take forever for me to light! So, what did you do? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:I put Shia LaBeouf onto a list of actors who I wanted to be The Flash in the DCEU Movies! (Cut to Hell looking like a frozen rock cave as Satan is bundled up in Winter gear)
Satan (played by
Paulo Fonseca):
JESUS CHRIST! YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO SEE SHIA LABEOUF IN A MOVIE?! No wonder the flames went out down here and the Third Reich are taking on the Liberals in a game of ice hockey on the River Styx oh what a check shot. The Hanson Brothers from “Slap Shot” would be proud of that! Gotta go, Hockey Brawl! (Cut back to the movie as James does a voiceover)
JESUS CHRIST! YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO SEE SHIA LABEOUF IN A MOVIE?! No wonder the flames went out down here and the Third Reich are taking on the Liberals in a game of ice hockey on the River Styx oh what a check shot. The Hanson Brothers from “Slap Shot” would be proud of that! Gotta go, Hockey Brawl! (Cut back to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
As Barry makes his usual trip to see his father Henry Allen played by Billy Crudup. Henry tells Barry to let him go. Meanwhile we’re introduced to Victor Stone AKA Cyborg played by Ray Fisher who is in hiding after what happened to make him the Cyborg. However back on Themyscira, Queen Hippolyta rides to find the mother box has awoken and Steppenwolf has come, and this is where Pants Should be darkening but when Decay from freaking “Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance” is more intimidating this is a level of fail that is in the same realm as Waterworld! But the Amazons get their Mother Box taken by Steppenwolf in an impressive action scene. Hippolyta decides to light the warning fire to get Diana into the fracas. Which she sees and then we cut to Lois Lane played again by Amy Adams who is as she was in “Batman v Superman” pretty much a worthless piece of existence as she is doing fluff pieces and (Doing a Ben Affleck “Batman” growling voice) MARTHA (Back to normal) played by Diane Lane as we discover she’s lost the farm and is living in a small apartment doing… I HAVE NO FRIGGIN’ CLUE! Meanwhile Cyborg finds the files about him found by Alfred and Bruce. Speaking of Bruce, he works on finding the frequency to harm Parademons, gets a visit by Diana and is told about Steppenwolf and the Mother Boxes and how the Atlanteans, Green Lanterns and other alien forces like Martians and Kryptonians, tribes of men, even the Greek Pantheon of Gods stop Steppenwolf and send him back separating the Mother Boxes. One entrusted by The Atlanteans who decided to sink their city to protect it, One to The Amazons who hid it on Themyscira, three were given to the Elves; immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings, seven, to the Dwarf Lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine were gifted to the race of Men (A record scratch is heard before the movie cuts away to James physically)
As Barry makes his usual trip to see his father Henry Allen played by Billy Crudup. Henry tells Barry to let him go. Meanwhile we’re introduced to Victor Stone AKA Cyborg played by Ray Fisher who is in hiding after what happened to make him the Cyborg. However back on Themyscira, Queen Hippolyta rides to find the mother box has awoken and Steppenwolf has come, and this is where Pants Should be darkening but when Decay from freaking “Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance” is more intimidating this is a level of fail that is in the same realm as Waterworld! But the Amazons get their Mother Box taken by Steppenwolf in an impressive action scene. Hippolyta decides to light the warning fire to get Diana into the fracas. Which she sees and then we cut to Lois Lane played again by Amy Adams who is as she was in “Batman v Superman” pretty much a worthless piece of existence as she is doing fluff pieces and (Doing a Ben Affleck “Batman” growling voice) MARTHA (Back to normal) played by Diane Lane as we discover she’s lost the farm and is living in a small apartment doing… I HAVE NO FRIGGIN’ CLUE! Meanwhile Cyborg finds the files about him found by Alfred and Bruce. Speaking of Bruce, he works on finding the frequency to harm Parademons, gets a visit by Diana and is told about Steppenwolf and the Mother Boxes and how the Atlanteans, Green Lanterns and other alien forces like Martians and Kryptonians, tribes of men, even the Greek Pantheon of Gods stop Steppenwolf and send him back separating the Mother Boxes. One entrusted by The Atlanteans who decided to sink their city to protect it, One to The Amazons who hid it on Themyscira, three were given to the Elves; immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings, seven, to the Dwarf Lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine were gifted to the race of Men (A record scratch is heard before the movie cuts away to James physically)
TLOTA:
Eh, Whoops! I guess I’ve got Lord Of The Rings on the mind. We’ll be right back! (Fade to black before cutting to the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before fading to black then cutting back to the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to the movie as James does a voiceover.)
Eh, Whoops! I guess I’ve got Lord Of The Rings on the mind. We’ll be right back! (Fade to black before cutting to the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before fading to black then cutting back to the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to the movie as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Realizing they have Days until Steppenwolf wipes the planet of all life quicker than that smelthead Barnacle King and his plans to destroy all life on this planet. The time has come to induct Barry and Cyborg into their League… (Show entire moment between Barry and Bruce as Barry asks what Bruce’s Superpower is and Bruce says he’s rich before cutting to James physically as he nurses a headache with Aspirin and Martinelli’s)
Realizing they have Days until Steppenwolf wipes the planet of all life quicker than that smelthead Barnacle King and his plans to destroy all life on this planet. The time has come to induct Barry and Cyborg into their League… (Show entire moment between Barry and Bruce as Barry asks what Bruce’s Superpower is and Bruce says he’s rich before cutting to James physically as he nurses a headache with Aspirin and Martinelli’s)
TLOTA:
Bruce’s superpower is that he is rich. Not that he can be a better detective than Sherlock Holmes, not the fact he can have some deca-quadrillion contingencies to his deca-quadrillion contingency plans. It’s just that he’s rich! This feels like such bad writing even Zack Snyder, Joss Whedon and Chris Terrio wouldn’t approve of it unless OH MY GOD! ORAC, where are they?
Bruce’s superpower is that he is rich. Not that he can be a better detective than Sherlock Holmes, not the fact he can have some deca-quadrillion contingencies to his deca-quadrillion contingency plans. It’s just that he’s rich! This feels like such bad writing even Zack Snyder, Joss Whedon and Chris Terrio wouldn’t approve of it unless OH MY GOD! ORAC, where are they?
ORAC (Audio only):
In the main lobby! (Dramatic music plays as James walks out of his office and through the secondary entrance to the main lobby before cutting to the group of Chart & Memo loving execs and their Lindsay Nagel leader played by Olivia Horvath in the main lobby standing united before cutting back to James.)
In the main lobby! (Dramatic music plays as James walks out of his office and through the secondary entrance to the main lobby before cutting to the group of Chart & Memo loving execs and their Lindsay Nagel leader played by Olivia Horvath in the main lobby standing united before cutting back to James.)
TLOTA:
YOU! (Cut to the C&M Execs)
YOU! (Cut to the C&M Execs)
L.N. Exec:
I see you found enjoyment in our memo forced rewrite. Originally Bruce was going to say something along the lines of him being an expert fighter and criminal investigator, but we realized he was Donald Trump I mean Lex Luthor sans the need to take over the world, so we realized his superpower was his money! (Cut to James.)
I see you found enjoyment in our memo forced rewrite. Originally Bruce was going to say something along the lines of him being an expert fighter and criminal investigator, but we realized he was Donald Trump I mean Lex Luthor sans the need to take over the world, so we realized his superpower was his money! (Cut to James.)
TLOTA:
Good Freaking Grief! I don’t have time to argue and deal with you just say whatever you want because you live in your own reality where Fluffy Happy Clouds and Flying Marshmallow pies are reality! (Cut to the C&M Execs)
Good Freaking Grief! I don’t have time to argue and deal with you just say whatever you want because you live in your own reality where Fluffy Happy Clouds and Flying Marshmallow pies are reality! (Cut to the C&M Execs)
L.N. Exec:
Well someone needs one of our memo enhanced moments! (Cut to the movie as the L.N. Exec does a voiceover)
Well someone needs one of our memo enhanced moments! (Cut to the movie as the L.N. Exec does a voiceover)
L.N. Exec (Voiceover):
Like how Aquaman finally gets involved. By rescuing the sailor, it forces him back to Atlantis and thus putting into motion his character arc! (Cut to James physically)
Like how Aquaman finally gets involved. By rescuing the sailor, it forces him back to Atlantis and thus putting into motion his character arc! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
AH! The key word “FORCE” that is what is wrong with the DCEU you are FORCING everything down people’s throats and forcing everything down the bad aftertaste in people’s mouth lasts a long, long, long time. The few times I watch women’s wrestling I still have a backwash of Eva Marie! Though the moment you described could’ve been nicer if Mera played by Amber Herd and Aquaman sounded more like normal humans. (Show clip between Mera and Aquaman before cutting to James physically.)
AH! The key word “FORCE” that is what is wrong with the DCEU you are FORCING everything down people’s throats and forcing everything down the bad aftertaste in people’s mouth lasts a long, long, long time. The few times I watch women’s wrestling I still have a backwash of Eva Marie! Though the moment you described could’ve been nicer if Mera played by Amber Herd and Aquaman sounded more like normal humans. (Show clip between Mera and Aquaman before cutting to James physically.)
TLOTA:
WOULD IT HAVE KILLED EITHER ONE TO PUT EMOTION INTO THEIR CONVERSATION?! Well emotion that isn’t forced? (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
WOULD IT HAVE KILLED EITHER ONE TO PUT EMOTION INTO THEIR CONVERSATION?! Well emotion that isn’t forced? (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
After obtaining the second box and setting up a base in Pozharnov in a Russian Nuclear Reactor because THAT’S AS SUBTLE AS AN M. NIGHT SHAYMALAN PLOT TWIST! A parademon kidnaps Victor’s father played by Joe Morton which gets Commissioner Gordon played by J.K. Simmons to summon Batman, Cyborg, The Flash and Wonder Woman to face the Parademons and Steppenwolf on Braxton island, the mid-point between Gotham and Metropolis! Just as the four are about to open a can of Whoop-Ass! Barry has a full on out Spaz attack! While the others fight The Flash gets the others to safety he finally does something of use by helping Wonder Woman regain her sword and get her away from the nightcrawler with “HILARITY” and when I mean “HILARITY” I mean such forced humor I felt like I was watching the latest outing of Happy Madison! Aquaman joins the fight after Cyborg nearly drowns the whole team and destroys ancient water ways! SMOOTH FRICKING MOVE EX-LAX! After such a full on out ass whipping, what’s the next move for our heroes? Have the Annoying Comic relief and Cyborg rob Superman’s grave, use Cyborg’s Mother Box and enough energy from the comic relief’s speed to revive one VERY, VERY PISSED OFF SUPERMAN! (Show clip of Superman attacking everyone and making Batman look like an idiot after Lois calms down Superman and the two fly off before cutting to James physically)
TLOTA:Okay, which of you ASSHOLE ROCKET SKYENTISTS THOUGHT THAT WAS A SMARTY SMART WAY TO REINTRODUCE KAL-EL THE LAST SON OF KRYPTON?! (Cut to Half of the C&M Execs as the other half after being given the look to them by the Lindsay Nagel Head exec forces the other half to raise their hands before cutting to James as he buries his head in the couch and screams before cutting back to the movie.)
After obtaining the second box and setting up a base in Pozharnov in a Russian Nuclear Reactor because THAT’S AS SUBTLE AS AN M. NIGHT SHAYMALAN PLOT TWIST! A parademon kidnaps Victor’s father played by Joe Morton which gets Commissioner Gordon played by J.K. Simmons to summon Batman, Cyborg, The Flash and Wonder Woman to face the Parademons and Steppenwolf on Braxton island, the mid-point between Gotham and Metropolis! Just as the four are about to open a can of Whoop-Ass! Barry has a full on out Spaz attack! While the others fight The Flash gets the others to safety he finally does something of use by helping Wonder Woman regain her sword and get her away from the nightcrawler with “HILARITY” and when I mean “HILARITY” I mean such forced humor I felt like I was watching the latest outing of Happy Madison! Aquaman joins the fight after Cyborg nearly drowns the whole team and destroys ancient water ways! SMOOTH FRICKING MOVE EX-LAX! After such a full on out ass whipping, what’s the next move for our heroes? Have the Annoying Comic relief and Cyborg rob Superman’s grave, use Cyborg’s Mother Box and enough energy from the comic relief’s speed to revive one VERY, VERY PISSED OFF SUPERMAN! (Show clip of Superman attacking everyone and making Batman look like an idiot after Lois calms down Superman and the two fly off before cutting to James physically)
TLOTA:Okay, which of you ASSHOLE ROCKET SKYENTISTS THOUGHT THAT WAS A SMARTY SMART WAY TO REINTRODUCE KAL-EL THE LAST SON OF KRYPTON?! (Cut to Half of the C&M Execs as the other half after being given the look to them by the Lindsay Nagel Head exec forces the other half to raise their hands before cutting to James as he buries his head in the couch and screams before cutting back to the movie.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
After that moment, Steppenwolf grabs the last Mother Box, our team decide to go after Steppenwolf all the while Superman and Lois basically let each other know how much they’ve become soft or how they left each other hurt and now it’s up to both to make it right in their own way. Meanwhile Steppenwolf combine the three Mother Boxes which sends the signal where he is and our team decide they’re damned if they can do it with Superman and damned if they can’t do it with Superman and make their way to face him once and for all. (Show moment in which Aquaman talks honestly about the chances and himself and everything he wants to do until he realizes he’s sitting on the Lasso Of Truth before a muted Waa-Waa trumpet is heard and cut to James as he shrugs humorously before cutting to the movie and James does a voiceover) They make it to Pozharnov and Batman decides he’s going on the suicide run to take down the tower and knock down the shield dome as the others have the easy job of stopping Steppenwolf! Simple as PIE! Now I will give the movie this, the action is AWESOME! A lot of the fights are amazing, and it is possibly the best parts of the movie. But I digress the team makes it to Steppenwolf’s lair and as each one of them gets their backsides handed to them guess who comes to save their backsides while The Flash gets everyone out of the way. (Superman comes in to face Steppenwolf before cutting to James physically.)
After that moment, Steppenwolf grabs the last Mother Box, our team decide to go after Steppenwolf all the while Superman and Lois basically let each other know how much they’ve become soft or how they left each other hurt and now it’s up to both to make it right in their own way. Meanwhile Steppenwolf combine the three Mother Boxes which sends the signal where he is and our team decide they’re damned if they can do it with Superman and damned if they can’t do it with Superman and make their way to face him once and for all. (Show moment in which Aquaman talks honestly about the chances and himself and everything he wants to do until he realizes he’s sitting on the Lasso Of Truth before a muted Waa-Waa trumpet is heard and cut to James as he shrugs humorously before cutting to the movie and James does a voiceover) They make it to Pozharnov and Batman decides he’s going on the suicide run to take down the tower and knock down the shield dome as the others have the easy job of stopping Steppenwolf! Simple as PIE! Now I will give the movie this, the action is AWESOME! A lot of the fights are amazing, and it is possibly the best parts of the movie. But I digress the team makes it to Steppenwolf’s lair and as each one of them gets their backsides handed to them guess who comes to save their backsides while The Flash gets everyone out of the way. (Superman comes in to face Steppenwolf before cutting to James physically.)
TLOTA:
And here is where things become for a lack of a better term Cartoonish and not in a good way! (Cut to the final fight and actions as well as the rest of the movie as James does a voiceover.)
And here is where things become for a lack of a better term Cartoonish and not in a good way! (Cut to the final fight and actions as well as the rest of the movie as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
The action between Steppenwolf and the Justice League is something SO incredibly cartoonish the only thing is missing is the comic effects and I don’t mean a ton of Onamonapias. I mean the type of effects that are so ridiculous that even awful cartoons on the Cartoon Network nowadays are ashamed to have them in it. But I digress, our heroes Separate the Mother Boxes, Stop Steppenwolf, Bruce basically saves the farm, everyone goes back to their old lives and the movie ends with a race between the Flash and Superman and “Lex Luthor” getting the Legion Of Doom together for the movie after they take down Darkseid in the next movie in post credit scenes because for them to take on an in-between battle before taking on Darkseid would be a Stupid move, You know a Marvel move! (Cut to the group of the C&M execs)
The action between Steppenwolf and the Justice League is something SO incredibly cartoonish the only thing is missing is the comic effects and I don’t mean a ton of Onamonapias. I mean the type of effects that are so ridiculous that even awful cartoons on the Cartoon Network nowadays are ashamed to have them in it. But I digress, our heroes Separate the Mother Boxes, Stop Steppenwolf, Bruce basically saves the farm, everyone goes back to their old lives and the movie ends with a race between the Flash and Superman and “Lex Luthor” getting the Legion Of Doom together for the movie after they take down Darkseid in the next movie in post credit scenes because for them to take on an in-between battle before taking on Darkseid would be a Stupid move, You know a Marvel move! (Cut to the group of the C&M execs)
L.N. Exec:
That is a great idea, The Main event in the next Justice League! Thank you for setting up the next great DCEU movie (Cut to James)
That is a great idea, The Main event in the next Justice League! Thank you for setting up the next great DCEU movie (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
You idiots think that after sitting through this, I want to inspire the even more lackluster sequel? You believed I enjoyed this movie? (James walks over to the C&M execs bullhorn in hand) OF COURSE I DIDN’T LIKE THIS MOVIE! THIS MOVIE SUCKED!
You idiots think that after sitting through this, I want to inspire the even more lackluster sequel? You believed I enjoyed this movie? (James walks over to the C&M execs bullhorn in hand) OF COURSE I DIDN’T LIKE THIS MOVIE! THIS MOVIE SUCKED!
(Cut to clips of
“Justice League” as the Opening Music to “Justice League Unlimited” plays in
the foreground as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
This is the Bizzaro version of “Marvel’s The Avengers” every wrong decision “Avengers” didn’t do, This movie did! The Comedy was forced, most of the line delivery was so freaking stilted I’m surprised Tommy Wiseau didn’t help as an acting coach, most of what we wanted we didn’t get and what we got we didn’t like. What there is to like is very little, the acting for the most part, some of the writing, the way the team comes together without the team being forced into this by a cabal of a Government Agency but with the very little good that they did is instantly erased with five megatons of crap! (Cut to James physically)
This is the Bizzaro version of “Marvel’s The Avengers” every wrong decision “Avengers” didn’t do, This movie did! The Comedy was forced, most of the line delivery was so freaking stilted I’m surprised Tommy Wiseau didn’t help as an acting coach, most of what we wanted we didn’t get and what we got we didn’t like. What there is to like is very little, the acting for the most part, some of the writing, the way the team comes together without the team being forced into this by a cabal of a Government Agency but with the very little good that they did is instantly erased with five megatons of crap! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
And anything you worthless lumps of space and time did added nothing but… (A loud and annoying voice saying “YOU STOP BEING A BULLY! YOU BULLY!” before cutting to a big head popping out of the crowd to reveal Cool Cat)
And anything you worthless lumps of space and time did added nothing but… (A loud and annoying voice saying “YOU STOP BEING A BULLY! YOU BULLY!” before cutting to a big head popping out of the crowd to reveal Cool Cat)
Cool Cat (Played in
Suit by Steve Kidd but voiced by James Faraci):
Anytime you say something that is different and act the way you do, you are a bully. You and your friends Nostalgia Kid, I Hate Everything all of you are bullies even those who dislike Cool Cat and the messages I convey… (A female voice in the ether shouts “OH SHUT UP!” before cutting to the door behind James as Julia Alexa Miller and Deadpool played by Cambell Dodson walk to James)
Anytime you say something that is different and act the way you do, you are a bully. You and your friends Nostalgia Kid, I Hate Everything all of you are bullies even those who dislike Cool Cat and the messages I convey… (A female voice in the ether shouts “OH SHUT UP!” before cutting to the door behind James as Julia Alexa Miller and Deadpool played by Cambell Dodson walk to James)
Julia Alexa Miller:
I’ve seen your drivel and I found my intelligence being insulted with every second I watched! (Cut to Cool Cat)
I’ve seen your drivel and I found my intelligence being insulted with every second I watched! (Cut to Cool Cat)
Cool Cat:
What do you know? You’re being influenced by that bully! You can do better than being forced into doing his biding! (Cut to Julia, James and Deadpool)
What do you know? You’re being influenced by that bully! You can do better than being forced into doing his biding! (Cut to Julia, James and Deadpool)
Julia Alexa Miller:
I’m not influenced by him. (Julia Alexa Miller kisses on James’ lips)
I’m not influenced by him. (Julia Alexa Miller kisses on James’ lips)
Deadpool:
That’s Amore! And now comes the part when we go hacky slashy on some corporate ass and Cool Cat becomes Pussy Chimichangas! (James and Julia’s kiss ends as the version of Freebird used in “The Kingsmen: Secret Service” is played as James, Julia and Deadpool run in slow motion towards the camera before the camera pans to Cool Cat as he sees the three spear him before a brawl erupts in the Parking Lot outside of James’ studio as James fights the Male execs, Julia Alexa Miller fights the Female Execs and Deadpool gets the left overs from both groups in a single take fight sequence similar to “The Kingsmen: Secret Service” as James is thrown into a van and the camera holds onto the van as James and those inside talk we see an C&M Exec, Julia Alexa Miller, Deadpool and Cool Cat landing on the van)
That’s Amore! And now comes the part when we go hacky slashy on some corporate ass and Cool Cat becomes Pussy Chimichangas! (James and Julia’s kiss ends as the version of Freebird used in “The Kingsmen: Secret Service” is played as James, Julia and Deadpool run in slow motion towards the camera before the camera pans to Cool Cat as he sees the three spear him before a brawl erupts in the Parking Lot outside of James’ studio as James fights the Male execs, Julia Alexa Miller fights the Female Execs and Deadpool gets the left overs from both groups in a single take fight sequence similar to “The Kingsmen: Secret Service” as James is thrown into a van and the camera holds onto the van as James and those inside talk we see an C&M Exec, Julia Alexa Miller, Deadpool and Cool Cat landing on the van)
TLOTA (Audio only):
Where have you guys been?
Where have you guys been?
Paulo Fonseca (Audio
only):
Getting reinforcements!
Getting reinforcements!
Rebecca Yaun (Audio
only):
We saw this coming a mile away and knew who to contact!
We saw this coming a mile away and knew who to contact!
TLOTA (Audio only):
Well don’t just sit there get into the fight! (James steps out of the van, Superman punches “Cool Cat” as Keith Inman, Jamietud, The Nostalgia Kid, Antoni Matei Garcia, The Last Angry Geek, Kirakennedy, Mike J, Keith Inman and James Walsh, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion, Olivia Horvath come running out of the van as Rowdy steps out of the van Cool Cat lands on the van again)
Well don’t just sit there get into the fight! (James steps out of the van, Superman punches “Cool Cat” as Keith Inman, Jamietud, The Nostalgia Kid, Antoni Matei Garcia, The Last Angry Geek, Kirakennedy, Mike J, Keith Inman and James Walsh, Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion, Olivia Horvath come running out of the van as Rowdy steps out of the van Cool Cat lands on the van again)
Cool Cat:
OH NO! ANOTHER BULLY!
OH NO! ANOTHER BULLY!
Rowdy:
I’m not a bully, I’m an Internet Reviewer! NINJA CATS! STRIKE! (The Ninja cats attack Cool Cat as the single take battle continues as the fight gets out of hand eventually ending with and James fireman carries Cool Cat on top of the execs as they’re being shoved into a Dumpster as Deadpool tosses in a bundle of Dynamite into the dumpster and sits on top of it!)
I’m not a bully, I’m an Internet Reviewer! NINJA CATS! STRIKE! (The Ninja cats attack Cool Cat as the single take battle continues as the fight gets out of hand eventually ending with and James fireman carries Cool Cat on top of the execs as they’re being shoved into a Dumpster as Deadpool tosses in a bundle of Dynamite into the dumpster and sits on top of it!)
Deadpool:
And BOOM goes the Dynamite! (The dumpster goes up as does Deadpool and as Deadpool goes up he looks at the audience)
And BOOM goes the Dynamite! (The dumpster goes up as does Deadpool and as Deadpool goes up he looks at the audience)
Deadpool:
Before I land in the Shopping Cart, I just wanted to congratulate James Faraci The Last Of The Americans for busting his dick for five years straight to make such unbelievable entertainment. And by unbelievable entertainment, I can’t believe it’s real entertainment! But he’s doing incredible voodoo that he can do! So, make sure you celebrate his work and think about what he’s done and what he’ll continue to do as long as he can! Now if you’ll excuse me! (Deadpool shouts WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! As he goes hurdling down to the parking lot landing in the Shopping Cart as everyone is exhausted)
Before I land in the Shopping Cart, I just wanted to congratulate James Faraci The Last Of The Americans for busting his dick for five years straight to make such unbelievable entertainment. And by unbelievable entertainment, I can’t believe it’s real entertainment! But he’s doing incredible voodoo that he can do! So, make sure you celebrate his work and think about what he’s done and what he’ll continue to do as long as he can! Now if you’ll excuse me! (Deadpool shouts WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! As he goes hurdling down to the parking lot landing in the Shopping Cart as everyone is exhausted)
TLOTA (Exhausted):
Hey thanks you guys for helping me out! How about after we finish the clean up and celebration and clean up after that I schlep myself, Alex and Deadpool to the Hospital (Cut to everyone exhaustedly cheering before cutting to KiraKennedy)
Hey thanks you guys for helping me out! How about after we finish the clean up and celebration and clean up after that I schlep myself, Alex and Deadpool to the Hospital (Cut to everyone exhaustedly cheering before cutting to KiraKennedy)
KiraKennedy:
I brought cake! (Cut to Mike J)
I brought cake! (Cut to Mike J)
Mike J:
Awesome, I hope it’s Carrot Cake. (Cut to Jamietud)
Awesome, I hope it’s Carrot Cake. (Cut to Jamietud)
Jamietud:
I brought the drinks! (Cut to The Nostalgia Kid)
I brought the drinks! (Cut to The Nostalgia Kid)
The Nostalgia Kid:
Good! (Cut to Ed Champion)
Good! (Cut to Ed Champion)
Ed Champion:
Happy Fifth Anniversary, did anyone bother to set up! (Cut to James Faraci)
Happy Fifth Anniversary, did anyone bother to set up! (Cut to James Faraci)
TLOTA:
Already done Ed! (Cut to James Walsh)
Already done Ed! (Cut to James Walsh)
James Walsh:
You constantly keep going, so glad you are part of the site. (Cut to James Faraci)
You constantly keep going, so glad you are part of the site. (Cut to James Faraci)
TLOTA:
James, I’m just a tiny cog in the big clock of Manic-Expression.com (Cut to Paulo & Brenda Fonseca)
James, I’m just a tiny cog in the big clock of Manic-Expression.com (Cut to Paulo & Brenda Fonseca)
Paulo Fonseca:
James, we’ll clean up, you take Deadpool and Alex to the Hospital and we’ll clean up!
James, we’ll clean up, you take Deadpool and Alex to the Hospital and we’ll clean up!
Brenda Fonseca:
Don’t argue and we’ll see you soon! (Cut to John & Mike Santos)
Don’t argue and we’ll see you soon! (Cut to John & Mike Santos)
John Santos:
Doesn’t Deadpool have like regenerative powers?
Doesn’t Deadpool have like regenerative powers?
Mike Santos:
I think so. (Cut to Olivia Horvath)
I think so. (Cut to Olivia Horvath)
Olivia Horvath:
James, Go, you’ve earned the break! Let us finish setting up the Anniversary Party! (Cut to everyone as they say to James in one way or another “Leave” or “Go to the Hospital” before cutting to James, Alex and Deadpool)
James, Go, you’ve earned the break! Let us finish setting up the Anniversary Party! (Cut to everyone as they say to James in one way or another “Leave” or “Go to the Hospital” before cutting to James, Alex and Deadpool)
TLOTA:
ALRIGHT! You don’t have to twist my arm. Can I say something to the audience? (The others all say “Yeah” in one way or another.) Thank you. You know I started Internet Reviewing to talk about the subjects I liked and to tear the ones I didn’t like. Then I found myself meeting so many people. I met Rowdy, I met The Nostalgia Kid, I met so many former Channel Awesome producers, James Walsh the man who gave me a break when Rowdy justifiably refocused his site to his projects and gave me a home at Manic-Expression.com and I am grateful that he has helped keep me going. I am grateful to Rowdy who gave me the first break in my career and most importantly of all, I am grateful to You! My Audience who keep checking this 36-year-old Internet Reviewer who works constantly on making everyone just get a good laugh from his views on movies and all things happening in the pop culture landscape and let him know, He’s not that bad a guy! Thank You all for keeping me going and I’ll keep on going Lord Willing and The Crick Don’t Rise for as Long as I humanly can. I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and thank you for allowing me to express my opinion. (James holds the cart and carries Alex and they walk away before fading to black then fading back to after the celebration as James and Alex do a cleanup!)
ALRIGHT! You don’t have to twist my arm. Can I say something to the audience? (The others all say “Yeah” in one way or another.) Thank you. You know I started Internet Reviewing to talk about the subjects I liked and to tear the ones I didn’t like. Then I found myself meeting so many people. I met Rowdy, I met The Nostalgia Kid, I met so many former Channel Awesome producers, James Walsh the man who gave me a break when Rowdy justifiably refocused his site to his projects and gave me a home at Manic-Expression.com and I am grateful that he has helped keep me going. I am grateful to Rowdy who gave me the first break in my career and most importantly of all, I am grateful to You! My Audience who keep checking this 36-year-old Internet Reviewer who works constantly on making everyone just get a good laugh from his views on movies and all things happening in the pop culture landscape and let him know, He’s not that bad a guy! Thank You all for keeping me going and I’ll keep on going Lord Willing and The Crick Don’t Rise for as Long as I humanly can. I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and thank you for allowing me to express my opinion. (James holds the cart and carries Alex and they walk away before fading to black then fading back to after the celebration as James and Alex do a cleanup!)
TLOTA:
You know Alex, you didn’t have to stay behind. (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller as she takes out the recycling bins)
You know Alex, you didn’t have to stay behind. (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller as she takes out the recycling bins)
Julia Alexa Miller:
I didn’t want to see you get stuck with a huge clean up at the end of the day! (Cut to James as he puts the vacuum cleaner away)
I didn’t want to see you get stuck with a huge clean up at the end of the day! (Cut to James as he puts the vacuum cleaner away)
TLOTA:
I do it everyday at the end of the day. Even when I have a full schedule!
I do it everyday at the end of the day. Even when I have a full schedule!
Julia Alexa Miller
(Audio only):
You put too much on yourself. Hey James, I never got a chance to see the inside of your personal office. What’s this? (James has the look of someone who just pooped himself as he tries to run to stop her from reading the letter and James gets to his office as it is too late and the words on the letter glow and encompass her as a bright light shines and raises up then returns to the letter forcing Julia Alexa Miller back down to the floor and James grabs her before she lands on the floor and James tries to wake her up as a blast of energy exudes from Julia Alexa Miller’s eyes and mouth slamming James into the wall and the letter landing on him with the glass shattering on his head and James passes out then cutting to James on the couch waking up and the word screaming out of his mouth is “ALEX!” before James looks around and sees Olivia Horvath, Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion, John & Mike Santos, Renee Miller and Eric Kurtzke are cleaning him up with Olivia cleaning James’ face.)
You put too much on yourself. Hey James, I never got a chance to see the inside of your personal office. What’s this? (James has the look of someone who just pooped himself as he tries to run to stop her from reading the letter and James gets to his office as it is too late and the words on the letter glow and encompass her as a bright light shines and raises up then returns to the letter forcing Julia Alexa Miller back down to the floor and James grabs her before she lands on the floor and James tries to wake her up as a blast of energy exudes from Julia Alexa Miller’s eyes and mouth slamming James into the wall and the letter landing on him with the glass shattering on his head and James passes out then cutting to James on the couch waking up and the word screaming out of his mouth is “ALEX!” before James looks around and sees Olivia Horvath, Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion, John & Mike Santos, Renee Miller and Eric Kurtzke are cleaning him up with Olivia cleaning James’ face.)
TLOTA:
Guys, Alex was here, she read the letter, where is it? (Cut to everyone looking nervous hoping not to either scare or piss off James before John hands James The Letter and sees it has been restored to normal.) How did I wind up on the couch?
Guys, Alex was here, she read the letter, where is it? (Cut to everyone looking nervous hoping not to either scare or piss off James before John hands James The Letter and sees it has been restored to normal.) How did I wind up on the couch?
Paulo Fonseca:
Steve found you.
Steve found you.
Nick Yaun:
That was after Steve had a run in with Alex after being dropped off. (Flashback effect and music plays as Julia Alexa Miller runs out afraid of what she has done and Steve Kidd bump into each other in the parking lot outside of James’ Studio.)
That was after Steve had a run in with Alex after being dropped off. (Flashback effect and music plays as Julia Alexa Miller runs out afraid of what she has done and Steve Kidd bump into each other in the parking lot outside of James’ Studio.)
Steve Kidd:
Sorry, hey I recognize you. The Christmas Party! Steve Kidd and you are?
Sorry, hey I recognize you. The Christmas Party! Steve Kidd and you are?
Julia Alexa Miller:
I… don’t…know. I JUST DON’T KNOW! (The shouting of the word “know” sends Steve flying and landing into the trash dumpster outside of James’ Studio before Julia Alexa Miller runs off in fear and the sound of tires screeching away before seeing Steve Kidd pull himself out of the Dumpster and shouts “OH MY GOD!” before Flashforward effect and music plays as it cuts to everyone on the couch.)
I… don’t…know. I JUST DON’T KNOW! (The shouting of the word “know” sends Steve flying and landing into the trash dumpster outside of James’ Studio before Julia Alexa Miller runs off in fear and the sound of tires screeching away before seeing Steve Kidd pull himself out of the Dumpster and shouts “OH MY GOD!” before Flashforward effect and music plays as it cuts to everyone on the couch.)
John Ross Santos:
Next thing he did was call us and we got you taken care of. Martinelli’s?
Next thing he did was call us and we got you taken care of. Martinelli’s?
TLOTA:
Please.
Please.
Mike Santos:
And he left a message for us.
And he left a message for us.
Andrew Beach:
Play it Ed.
Play it Ed.
(Ed Champion turns on
the TV as it cuts to the screen on James’ TV)
Steve Kidd:
Hey James, by the time you see this, I’m going to be finding that girl for you. I have no idea where she might be or where I’m going but trust me I’ve known you long enough to know when you’re miserable. When I last saw her, she was heading west. I’m heading out that way, wish me the best of luck! If it works, you’ll be thanking me by the end of the year… I hope! (The message ends as it cuts to James and everyone else.)
Hey James, by the time you see this, I’m going to be finding that girl for you. I have no idea where she might be or where I’m going but trust me I’ve known you long enough to know when you’re miserable. When I last saw her, she was heading west. I’m heading out that way, wish me the best of luck! If it works, you’ll be thanking me by the end of the year… I hope! (The message ends as it cuts to James and everyone else.)
TLOTA:
Well I wish him the best of luck heading out west…. Out…. WEST!?! OH, GOOD FREAKING GOD! (James hobbles as he tries and gets to his personal office and everyone follows him as 0:42-2:14 “New Glory” from Royalty Free Kings plays in the foreground.) ORAC! Send an e-mail to Alex! (James hobbles to his computer and shouts DAMN IT! As everyone else comes running after him.)
Well I wish him the best of luck heading out west…. Out…. WEST!?! OH, GOOD FREAKING GOD! (James hobbles as he tries and gets to his personal office and everyone follows him as 0:42-2:14 “New Glory” from Royalty Free Kings plays in the foreground.) ORAC! Send an e-mail to Alex! (James hobbles to his computer and shouts DAMN IT! As everyone else comes running after him.)
Renee Miller:
What’s wrong? (Cut to James as he gets to his seat and tries to make a call)
What’s wrong? (Cut to James as he gets to his seat and tries to make a call)
TLOTA:
I’ve got to stop him! (Cut to everyone else)
I’ve got to stop him! (Cut to everyone else)
Team TLOTA (In
Unison):
Who? (Cut to James on the phone)
Who? (Cut to James on the phone)
TLOTA:
STEVE! (Cut to Steve Kidd on the bus)
STEVE! (Cut to Steve Kidd on the bus)
Steve Kidd:
Hey James, don’t worry about a thing by this time next year you and that girl… (Cut to James)
Hey James, don’t worry about a thing by this time next year you and that girl… (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Julia Alexa Miller (Cut to Steve)
Julia Alexa Miller (Cut to Steve)
Steve Kidd:
That’s her name? Anyway, I am going to fix this mess. (Cut to James)
That’s her name? Anyway, I am going to fix this mess. (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
Steve there is no mess, right now she’s in Malibu California shooting photographs, filming “Life As A Mermaid” and working on producing “WitchHaven” leave her be. (Cut to Steve)
Steve there is no mess, right now she’s in Malibu California shooting photographs, filming “Life As A Mermaid” and working on producing “WitchHaven” leave her be. (Cut to Steve)
Steve Kidd:
Well, now I have a name a city and state, I’ll be letting you know how things go on my travels. Peace Out James! (Steve hangs up then the scene cuts to James shouts an even louder “DAMN IT!” before cutting to team TLOTA)
Well, now I have a name a city and state, I’ll be letting you know how things go on my travels. Peace Out James! (Steve hangs up then the scene cuts to James shouts an even louder “DAMN IT!” before cutting to team TLOTA)
Rebecca Yaun:
James, do you mind telling us what’s going on? (Cut to James)
James, do you mind telling us what’s going on? (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
It’s Emmalina, it’s Alex, it’s everything now out of control! (Cut to team TLOTA)
It’s Emmalina, it’s Alex, it’s everything now out of control! (Cut to team TLOTA)
Ed Champion:
Well, things can’t be that bad if it’s about an ex and someone who is now… Oh… OH…. OHHHHH! (Cut to James physically)
Well, things can’t be that bad if it’s about an ex and someone who is now… Oh… OH…. OHHHHH! (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA:
Exactly Ed, Steve is about to make an impossible moment happen by turning a molehill into a mountain and I need to warn her. (Cut to everyone else)
Exactly Ed, Steve is about to make an impossible moment happen by turning a molehill into a mountain and I need to warn her. (Cut to everyone else)
Olivia Horvath:
James, why are you trying to warn her, it’s not like Steve know everything about what’s going on! (Cut to James)
James, why are you trying to warn her, it’s not like Steve know everything about what’s going on! (Cut to James)
TLOTA:
But I’ve known him for a long time, he means well but usually if things can go wrong, WILL go wrong and Steve as well meaning as he is will be the accidental cause! I HAVE TO WARN HER AND THEM! (James tries to call and getting Alex’s phone’s Answering Machine as James tosses the phone back on the receiver and cutting to black)
But I’ve known him for a long time, he means well but usually if things can go wrong, WILL go wrong and Steve as well meaning as he is will be the accidental cause! I HAVE TO WARN HER AND THEM! (James tries to call and getting Alex’s phone’s Answering Machine as James tosses the phone back on the receiver and cutting to black)
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