In Defense of Vanilla Ice's appearance in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 The Secret Of The Ooze

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then the camera zooms to the backside of the slab with the word editorial on it)

I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own & some of yours and welcome to another edition of "In Defense Of..." (Show pics of maligned pieces of pop culture while the fanfare from the Olympics  play and James comes up after Vanilla Ice slides back and his right hand thumbs up and the words "In Defense Of..."  appear to the left of James. Then cuts back to James doing a voice over Michael Bay's produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.)

TLOTA (Voice over): By the time this editorial is out Michael Bay's abomination of a movie calling itself Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will have been released and if it has bombed miserably it would be a sign that film making in America is rapidly making a comeback. If it has succeeded then Congratulations you have helped perpetuate bad movie making AND killed another local movie theater because before Michael Bay's movies were in my hometown of Sullivan County New York there were three theaters that were in good local driving distances. Now all three are dead and I have to drive an hour and a half to either Middletown or elsewhere in Orange County New York just to see a movie. THANK YOU MICHAEL BAY VERY FUCKING LITTLE FOR MAKING IT EVEN HARDER TO WATCH A MOVIE! (Cut to James Physically taking a deep cleansing breath in and out.) But outside of my inability to travel to a decent location, my sense of taste in cinema and my willingness rather spend my money on a copy of Quest Seekers: The Wyrmstone for my Kindle Fire. I know why a lot of people wouldn't either, Megan Fox. (Cut to photos from different movies Megan Fox was in while James does a voice over)

TLOTA(voice over): Trust me, Megan Fox that VD carrying, hack actor marrying loathsome she devil of a witch who can't out act a drug fueled Lindsay Lohan in "Confessions of A Teenage Drama Queen" is a bad casting choice but then again when I looked at who they casted in the Original three Live Action films I watched when I was younger a lot of decisions weren't good by today's standards. I mean if you recasted the actress from the first movie with another in today's world the internet would be asking for the casting director's hide on a stick. (Cut to James Physically) But one casting choice back then that would make people go Bat Shit Crazy today is hiring Vanilla Ice to be in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. (Cut to footage of Vanilla Ice in TMNT 2: Secret Of The Ooze while James does a voice over.)

TLOTA(voice over): But I do understand why he was casted to be in "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze". He was a popular musician at the time and they needed someone who can bring the younger audience and by today's standards the producers of this movie would be crucified. But I think I know the reason he was brought in from a Story perspective. (Cut to James physically) Before I begin, I should warn there are Spoilers as to the movie's climax, if you haven't seen the movie, I apologize. Having said that let's find out Why Vanilla Ice was in "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze". (Cut to the footage as James does a voice over.)

TLOTA(Voice over): In the scene before hand we saw the Turtles trying to feed the mutants Tokka & Rahzar anti-mutagen when the two discover the anti-mutagen and proceed to make our heroes into turtle soup when they're thrown into a club where Vanilla Ice is filming a video. But the crowd finds themselves looking at the Ninja Turtles taking on Tokka & Rahzar  and Vanilla Ice sees the crowd looking at the situation he has to get them out of danger but keeping them calm. So Ice decided to be the distraction by assessing the what's going on around and coming up on the fly with "Ninja Rap" to not only get people looking at him and hopefully get the crowd out the door. Was he successful as a distraction so our heroes could fight Tokka & Rahzar? Well, he was able to get the crowd to stop looking at the Turtles so they could stop Tokka & Rahzar so in that respect he was doing something heroic and it is there I do tip my hat off to him. But he did kind of screw up where it came to getting the crowd out of harm's way because the Shredder does come in after Tatsu and the Foot were defeated and Tokka & Rahzar were rendered inert and when Ice saw Shredder he thought "Leave that crazy thing to those Turtles, they'll need all the luck they can get. I've done my part." and in my opinion discretion is the better part of valor and got out of the situation. (Cut to James Physically) But does Vanilla Ice deserve the ridicule for being in this movie? NO! (Cut to the footage as James does a voice over.)

TLOTA (Voice over): I understand that Vanilla Ice is not seen by many as a legend in the music realm. I get it! He was a joke to look at but the fact he sold a ton of records and actually topped the charts means people did listen to him at one point. But he should also get a bit of respect for what he did in terms of the story of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze" he was able to stand along side the Ninja Turtles as a hero in his own right. (Cut to James physically) I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That's my opinion.

Robin Williams 1951-2014

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then the camera zooms to the backside of the slab with the word editorial on it then a Rubber Stamp hits over all of it and the words Special Edition are placed over everything then cuts to James)

I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and the views I'm about to express...well, it's safe to say everyone has the same thought on this subject right now. Carlos Mencia said it best when he said "If You're not laughing, you're not living" and a few days ago the world lost a bit of laughter when Robin Williams tragically passed away and while details are vague right now, let me say that my condolences go to his family and to those who like myself were inspired by him and those who had the honor of working with him. I really did like a good portion of his work, he showed his versatility in both dramatic and comedic films. Believe it or not my first exposure to Robin Williams was the movie "Popeye" which aired in a classroom I was in. I then got to see how he was able to do great impressions as both Batty Koda in Ferngully: The Last Rainforest & as of course Genie in Disney's Aladdin. I eventually saw some episodes of the series "Mork & Mindy" in the late 1990's and in those episodes I did see the spark of genius and insanity that he held onto throughout his life and helped him in his career.  He was a wellspring of talent that seemed endless and it showed through in his work. In fact one of my favorite moments in cinema came from a movie he was in called Man Of The Year. His character was a "Daily Show" like show host who decided to run independently against the usual two party characters and his character was in a debate and he just went for the throat about the backdoor business that is prevalent in the political arena to this moment. But I personally never disliked any of the work he did. There may be some movies that aren't good per se but I could see that Robin Williams was able to make things he did work and in my opinion he was one of the best Character Actors I had the pleasure of seeing that he had the ability to blur the lines between the humor, the pathos and the drama of being a certain character Robin Williams had it and when he fired on all cylinders you could tell he was putting his all into it. One moment that comes to mind was his performance in the 200th episode of "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" as the character "Merritt Rook" in "Authority" I laughed when he was funny, he made people think when he went into the intelligent monologues that the character had and he scared me when he went to a dark place as that character. But despite how awesome everyone thought he was, he had his demons and whether or not I would say that led to his demise, I can't and won't say. Because even though he may not be with us. I'm going to remember one thing that Robin did, he made the world laugh a little bit more than anyone else could say they did. I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans. Nanu Nanu. 

"Casting" Power Rangers

(Scene starts as James is looking at all the Power Rangers series he has on DVD and remembers the notice that Lionsgate & Saban Brands are doing a Power Rangers live action movie franchise reboot and sees Robert Orci has signed on to executive produce & Ashley Miller and Zack Stentz have signed on to work on the script then goes to the computer and turns on Skype to get The Blockbuster Buster but Nerdlinger answers.)

Nerdlinger: Oh Hi you’re uh… James Faraci The Last Of The Americans. (James nods yes) So what’s on your mind?

TLOTA: I need to talk to your boss, The Blockbuster Buster. I know that Casting couch episodes are his thing but I was kind of hoping to do this one because I am a Power Rangers Fan.

Nerdlinger: Well he is in the middle of doing something about that, let me see if I can get him. Hey E-Rod!

Blockbuster Buster (Audio only): Yeah Nerdlinger what’s up?

Nerdlinger: James Faraci The Last Of The Americans is on the line and he wants to do a casting couch on the Power Rangers Live Action movie Reboot.

Blockbuster Buster (Audio only): What? Let me talk to him. (Nerdlinger walks away and The Blockbuster Buster walks in.)

Blockbuster Buster: Okay James, What makes you think YOU can cast The Reboot of the Power Rangers movie franchise better than me?

TLOTA: While you may speak for every fan girl & fan boy, myself included. I feel that having sat through every one of the over 750 episodes of Power Rangers including the 2010 “Star Wars: Special Edition” episodes ABC put out. I feel it my duty as a Power Rangers fan to do the franchise justice. Besides if you don’t like my choices, comment section is below and you can do a rebuttal video with your choices if you don’t like my choices, Deal?

Blockbuster Buster: Okay, I can be reasonable. But remember, I’ll be watching and if I don’t like who I see, prepare yourself for a pummeling of planetary proportions you putz!

TLOTA: Okay. I’ll try my best. (Shuts off Skype.) Phew, ORAC, ready who I want to see now portray the Power Rangers.

ORAC: Shall I also ready the intro and a special picture made by E-Joy!

TLOTA: Good idea.

(A Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Megaforce Morpher from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans with his Black Tee-Shirt with the American flag on it, Blue Jeans and Tan Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James stocking up on his arsenal from the Classic Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers Morpher, a bandoleer stocked up with Sonic Screwdrivers, Ammunition for a 303 British Rifle and said rifle, The Ring Of Aeon, The Gem From the Gauntlet Malachite’s Hand, Emmalina’s amulet and the Sword Of Caliverti from 0:08-0:15 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators. 0:15-0:29 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run shows James taking on all of popular culture until 0:30 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James pulls out a sonic screwdriver then cuts over to a slab of titanium where lasers cut out “The Last Of The Americans” until 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run when James lands on top of the slab while doing a heroic pose on a black background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it.)

(Show drawn photo of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans with the Power Rangers in the cockpit of the Megazord by Eugenia Joyuen for ten seconds while intro notes of “Go Go Power Rangers” play. Then cut to James on a couch)

TLOTA: I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own & some of yours. (Show clips of Power Rangers from across the board and “Go Go Power Rangers” instrumental while James does the voice over.)

TLOTA (Voice over): As someone who came of age in the 1990’s I grew up watching and loving the Power Rangers as much as I loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and every good kids show in the 1990’s. But the fact that Power Rangers have gone on as long as they have has had its critics who despise this series currently going nuts that the series has survived as it has. (Show James physically.) I remembering seeing the first Power Rangers movie at a Drive-In Theater and I loved it for all of its cheesy goodness. The second one “Turbo: A Power Rangers movie” which was connected to the series that premiered a few months later, I didn’t see until it was on TV and it had its bad moments but I liked it and thought it wasn’t as bad as everyone makes it out to be. After that there were rumors that after Disney bought the franchise there would be a reboot of the movie portion of the franchise but that never occurred in fact in 2009 they ended the original 17 year run of the Power Rangers. It wasn’t until 2010 after Saban Brands reclaimed the Power Rangers that hope came for new series and the possibility of new movies. So far Power Rangers Samurai/Super Samurai wasn’t as bad as people made it out to be and the new series Power Rangers Megaforce/ Super Megaforce is doing very fine in my opinion. But recently Lionsgate & Saban Brands have teamed up to bring the Power Rangers back to the big screen and with that comes who fans want to see as their favorite characters and with a warning and a blessing from The Blockbuster Buster, I as a fan of Power Rangers give you who I want to see in the suits of the multi colored superhero team. This is MY Casting Couch for the Power Rangers movie reboot. (Show clips of the original six Mighty Morphin Power Rangers fighting evil with James doing a voice over.)

TLOTA (Voice over): Now since it is a reboot, they’ll probably start back at the beginning with the first team of rangers, THE MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS, so that’s where my focus will be. (Show James physically.) I’ll cast the Rangers Last because A) I don’t want to repeat history by putting an Asian American actress as the Yellow Ranger and a Dark Skinned African American as the Black Ranger. And B) I need to focus on the secondary characters and villains because without them The Power Rangers would be boring without them. But before we get to all the characters let’s get something out of the way, they will probably have voice actors for Zordon & Alpha 5 and with that here are my suggestions for those voice actors for Zordon: Paul Darrow from the British series “Blake’s 7”, Gary Oldham, Peter Cullen or Christopher Eccleston the ninth doctor from “Doctor Who”. You know someone with either intelligence or with a deep cadence in his voice. Now for my suggestions for the voice actors for Alpha 5 my choices are: Tom Kenny, Billy West, Pat Fraley, John DiMaggio or Joe Alaskey but if Richard Horvitz wants to reprise the role, I’m all for it! Now let’s start off this thing with the first big baddie that had a hell of a headache thanks to the Power Rangers.  (Show clips of Rita Repulsa and Rita Repulsa’s theme is heard as a title card saying Rita Repulsa as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Rita’s name. Then clips of Rita being menacing while James does a voice over.)

TLOTA (Voice over): As much as her fashion statement made Queen Amidala from Star Wars Episode One look subtle on a bad day, when Rita was in a bad mood that meant trouble for the Power Rangers. (Cut to James Physically)

TLOTA: Originally Barbara Goodson was told to go for a Wicked Witch from “The Wizard Of Oz” voice for Rita and this is where I agree with the fan base as I choose for the role of Rita Repulsa. (Cut to video of Amy Jo Johnson as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Amy Jo Johnson and James does a voice over the clips from the Power Rangers Episode “Beauty & The Beast”)

TLOTA (Voice over):  Immortally known as Kimberly Ann Hart, the Original Pink Ranger she has been able to have a career & a life after the role that made her famous but if they were to offer her the role of Rita, I say to her, TAKE IT! It’s for the fans and for those who still want proof if She should or could pull off Rita check out the second season episode “Beauty & The Beast” in which Lord Zedd wants Kimberly as his wife and who does he dress her as Rita of course and then….(Show clip of Amy Jo Johnson acting like Rita Repulsa. Then cut to James Physically.) Now if one bad guy wasn’t bad enough, let’s throw in H.R. Geiger’s nightmare. (Show clips of Lord Zedd and Lord Zedd’s theme plays and a title card saying Lord Zedd as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Lord Zedd. Then show clips of Lord Zedd being menacing while James does a voice over.)

TLOTA (Voice over): With a metallic Exoskeleton, exposed brain & muscular system, tubes of god knows what flowing through him and more powerful than Rita. This guy put the Rangers through a lot Physically & Mentally on his own and when he & Rita got married it’s safe to say that The Power Rangers were being put through all the levels of hell and were getting through by the skin of their teeth! (Show James physically.) Now if they were to have a voice over actor, I’d suggest either Jim Cummings, Michael Dorn or Maurice LaMarche someone who has that depth, cadence & timbre. But if Robert Axelrod wants to reprise the role vocally I have no objections. However if there was a physical actor my choice would be…(Show clips of Michael Shannon and a title card saying Michael Shannon as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Michael Shannon. Then show clips of “Superman: Man Of Steel” while James does a voice over) If there was anything about “Superman: Man Of Steel” I didn’t like was how Michael Shannon’s voice as Zod was if anything Michael was doing a bad impression of Bane from “Batman: The Dark Knight Rises” vocally speaking, not helping matters is how politically charged both characters were in their respective movies. However if Michael Shannon was able to use his natural voice and can still be as psychologically & physically imposing then that is the Perfect Storm unlike….

General Zod: I was bred to be a warrior, Kal. Trained my entire life to master my senses! Where did you train? ON A FARM?! (Cut to James physically.)

TLOTA: THAT!  Now let’s move on to the gigantic golden gorilla. (Show clips of Goldar and a title card saying Goldar as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Goldar. Then show clips of Goldar attacking the Power Rangers while James does a voice over.)

TLOTA (Voice Over): Goldar was the one of two villains to hold their own against the Power Rangers. Whether he retreated or left them to wonder when he’ll attack again. The only other villian was Lord Zedd. (Cut to James physically.) For someone one this intense and this strong my choice for Goldar is... (Show clips of Oded Fehr and a title card saying Oded Fehr as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Oded Fehr. Then show clips of while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice Over): Best known as Ardeth Bey in two of “The Mummy” movies. This guy has got the chops to play the vicious & violent Goldar and portray the character as Loyal to Zedd & Rita with the effort it takes to be Goldar. (Show James physically.) Now let’s move onto the mischievous monster making master (Show clips of Finster and a title card saying Finster as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Finster. Then show clips of Finster making monsters while James does a voice over.)

TLOTA (Voice over): If there is one creature who can make menacing monsters out of ridiculous requests this is the guy you call to cause the biggest interruption in the day of the Power Rangers. He also made some very remarkable weapons for Rita & Zedd and their minions. (Show James physically.) Interesting fact Robert Axelrod provided the voices of both Lord Zedd & Finster and if there was one person who could do that it’s…(Show clips of Robert Englund and a title card saying Robert Englund as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Robert Englund. Then show clips of Robert Englund while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice Over): Eternally known as Freddy Krueger in the “Nightmare On Elm Street” movie franchise. Robert has shown his comedic and dramatic capabilities outside of being Freddy and this could be a role better than the Iconic character he portrayed.(Show James physically.)Now let’s move onto a duo who were as loyal as they were capable of doing underhanded things to aid Rita & Zedd. (Show clips of Squatt and Baboo a title card saying Squatt & Baboo as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Squatt & Baboo. Then show clips of Squatt & Baboo while James does a voice over.)

TLOTA (Voice over): While they were used very rarely when they were they were more capable of getting the job done while they may have created Shellshock one of the least liked monsters in Power Ranger history they proved they had the ability to stop the Power Rangers cold in their tracks until The Power Rangers were able to reverse the damage. (Show James physically.) Someone like those two need someone with that ability to show how truly capable Squatt & Baboo truly are and with that in mind I choose…. (Show clips of Josh Gad & Jay Baruchel and a title card saying Josh Gad & Jay Baruchel as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Josh Gad & Jay Baruchel. Then show clips of while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice Over): These two have showed they have great comedic timing and don’t think they can’t be menacing because this can show they have the chops to stretch beyond the comedic characters these both the characters AND the actors have been known for thus far. (Show James physically.) Now let’s move onto Goldar’s equal with a personality that can sting. (Show clips of Scorpina and a title card saying Scorpina as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Scorpina. Then show clips of Scorpina while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice Over): Scorpina while rarely used in the first two seasons made her appearances count! In the fourth part of “Green With Evil” mini-series she was part of the trio that trashed the Megazord! Then in the second season and in the first adventure with Rocky, Adam & Aisha. Scorpina seduced Adam and nearly got away with getting Adam out of commission as the Black Ranger. (Show James physically.) It’s with that in mind I choose for the vicious vixen. (Show clips of Ronda Rousey and a title card saying Ronda Rousey as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Ronda Rousey. Then show clips of while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice Over): Ronda has the blend of beauty and bad assitude that could make Scorpina the perfect combination of vicious and vivacious that can kick your ass and then prepare for a night that will leave you in the hospital with not only multiple compound broken bones but also severe dehydration! (Show James physically.)Now let’s move onto the skeletal sibling of Rita Repulsa. (Show clips of Rito Revolto a title card saying Rito Revolto as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Rito Revolto. Then show clips of Rito Revolto attacking the Power Rangers while James does a voice over.) Rito was the one who helped destroy the original Zords & powers, he came up with the idea to have the Rangers pilot the Shogun Zords for Zedd plus outside of The Power Rangers, this bag o’ bones got under Zedd’s muscular structure by calling Zedd, Ed! (Show clip of Lord Zedd shouting “IT’S ZEDD! YOU INCOMPETENT IDIOT! ZEDD! Then cut to James physically.) Take it easy there bub, but for someone who is both menacing and comedic, I choose… (Show clips of Channing Tatum and a title card saying Channing Tatum as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Channing Tatum. Then show clips of “G.I. Joe” & “21 Jump Street” while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): Channing Tatum is someone I tolerate he was funny in “21 Jump Street” as much as he was bad ass and as Duke he was the only reason I would even gave the “G.I. Joe” movie franchise a watch plus Magic Mike showed his acting chops. So put Channing Tatum in the skeletal suit and soldier’s helmet and this guy would be amazing as the bucket of bones that beat the Power Rangers. (Show James physically) Now…(Audio of a knock on a door and a voice going “Shniba jig, Shniba jig shnet ge rin!”)

TLOTA: Please tell me it’s not who I think it is. For the love of the Morphing Grid! PLEASE LET IT NOT BE HIM! (James walks out to the front door to see Bane from “Batman: The Dark Knight Rises” and James rolls his eyes, looks down and shakes his head and cuts back to Bane.)

Bane from “Batman: The Dark Knight Rises”: You claimed that Michael Shannon did a piss poor impression of me when he did his voice as Zod and the fact you claim that me and Zod have the same political charge in our motivations. There is a subtle difference. I want to take down the corrupted government you will defend for a greater government where all people are protected and not those who can afford it. Zod wanted to salt the earth and try to rebuild from the ground up and make himself seen as an infallible deity while I want to honor that which I have been trained to and believe and force those on to the people. (Cut to TLOTA)

TLOTA: So basically, your goals aren’t that different from Zod’s. (Cut to Bane from “Batman: The Dark Knight Rises”)

Bane from “Batman: The Dark Knight Rises”: For someone claiming to be “The Last Of The Americans” you defend a government but not its leader? Why is that? (Cut to TLOTA)

TLOTA: Because you were behind his employment. (Cut to Bane from “Batman: The Dark Knight Rises”)

Bane from “Batman: The Dark Knight Rises”: How did you know that? Was it the rhetoric that I infused into everything he did? (Cut to TLOTA)

TLOTA: Pretty much, now that you’re here on my land, I am within my rights to defend myself. (James grabs baseball bat and screams then scene cuts to black and sounds of pain and anguish are heard. Scene cuts to James whistling “Turkey In The Straw” as he puts Bane’s head as if it were a trophy on his mantelpiece and James walks back to his room and saying to himself “Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill”.)

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it act as the commercial break intro and return act to the review)

TLOTA: Where was I? Let’s see, I just finished talking about the villains of Power Rangers, so let’s go through the human characters that were supporting to The Power Rangers and no better way to start things off with than with a duo worthy of the Power Rangers admiration and the Admiration of The Nation of Power Rangers fans. (Show clips of Bulk & Skull while their theme plays and a title card saying Bulk & Skull as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Bulk & Skull. Then show clips of Bulk & Skull being Bulk & Skull while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): These two had the most development and for good reason. The duo started off in Mighty Morphin Power Rangers season 1 as comedic relief and foils to the Power Rangers and ended with “Power Rangers In Space” leading the humans against the forces of darkness to aid the Power Rangers. (Show James physically) For this dynamic duo, you need two people that can be lovable buffoons and bad ass enough that when there is a call to action the two will be there and for the roles of Farkus Bulkmeier & Eugene Skullovitch my choices are…(Show clips of Jonah Hill & Christopher Mintz-Plasse and a title card saying Jonah Hill & Christopher Mintz-Plasse as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Jonah Hill & Christopher Mintz-Plasse. Then show clips of while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice Over): These two were absolutely fantastic in Superbad and in their own rights and with two academy award nods under his belt Jonah Hill will bring weight to Bulk, no pun intended, and Christopher’s appearances in both “Kick-Ass” movies is proof positive that Christopher is Skull.(Show James physically.) Now let’s move onto the owner of the Juice Bar & youth center. (Show clips of Ernie while a title card says Ernie as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Ernie. Then show clips of Ernie at the Juice Bar while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): Ernie was the go-to guy if the Rangers needed something they needed that Billy or Zordon couldn’t do Ernie was the man, plus he was there to help the Power Rangers in their civilian problems no matter what and there were a few episodes when Ernie was in trouble the Power Rangers were there for him. (Show James physically) It is with that in mind that I choose to run the Juice vending machine and dispense something even more valuable advice than the wisdom of Zordon…(Show pics of Jon Favreau while a title card says Jon Favreau as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Jon Favreau and show clips of Jon Favreau while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): If Jon is in the director’s chair you know he’ll play a good role. Does the Iron Man franchise ring a bell? Plus he has the smile that keeps people coming back and he is a very talented actor in his own right!(Show James physically) Now let’s move onto one character that if they go the High School route instead of the post High School route for the Power Rangers. (Show pics of Principal Kaplan while a title card says Principal Kaplan as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Principal Kaplan and show clips of Principal Kaplan while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): Principal Kaplan was the one who tried to keep law & order in the hallways of Angel Grove High School and with students like Bulk, Skull & the Power Rangers in his hallways sometimes it was easier said than done! (Show James physically) It is with that in mind that I choose for Principal Kaplan. (Show pics of Elias Koteas while a title card says Elias Koteas as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Elias Koteas and show clips of Elias Koteas while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): Best known as Casey Jones in the live action “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” franchise. Elias has gone on to show more range in independent films and television projects  with this role Elias could more or less show that he still is the bad ass Casey Jones was in the Live Action “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” and show a more developed side of Principal Kaplan. (Show James physically) Now let’s move onto the elite educationalist. (Show pics of Miss Appleby while a title card says Miss Appleby as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Miss Appleby and show clips of Miss Appleby while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): Miss Appleby is a sweet teacher who allows some free reign when it comes the assignments but she is a tart disciplinarian when it comes the failures and send those who fail to detention. It is with that in mind that I choose for Miss Appleby. (Show pics of Catherine Tate while a title card says Catherine Tate as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Catherine Tate and show clips of Catherine Tate while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): Best known as Donna Noble from her run on Doctor Who and her own BBC Sketch Comedy show. Catherine has already shown she has dramatic & comedic chops. She also has that demeanor that will take garbage and give it back. (Show clip of “The Fires Of Pompeii” of her arguing with the “David Tennant Doctor” in the square of Pompeii then cut  to James physically) Now let’s move on to the first Police officer ever seen in Power Rangers History, EVER! (Show pics of Lt. Stone while a title card says Lt. Stone as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Lt. Stone and show clips of while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): Lieutenant Jerome Stone was the guy who put the screws to Bulk & Skull when the duo joined the junior Police patrol but to the rest of the rangers he was kind, he was nice and he turned to the Rangers for assistance whenever he needed it and often enough the guy could be funny. (Show James physically) For someone that tender, tough & humorous we need someone who can do all three and not even sweat, for that I choose! (Show pics of Paul Ben-Victor while a title card says Paul Ben-Victor as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Paul Ben-Victor and show clips of Paul Ben-Victor while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): Best known as either Moe Howard from the “Three Stooges” made for TV Biopic, the boss from “In Plain Sight”, Jose Quesada from the Ben Affleck “Daredevil” movie or his roles in “The Wire” or “Entourage”. Paul Ben-Victor has that quality to be tough enough to keep Bulk & Skull in line but can be funny enough to make fun of the tough guy image he has been best known for. (Show James physically) Now the time has come to recruit the team of teenagers with ATTITUDE! (Show clips of the original six Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers while the “Go, Go, Power Rangers” from the intro of all three seasons of Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers then cutting back to James Physically)

TLOTA: Now we’re going to start off with the most controversial casting choices so the rest will be easy peasy lemon squeezy! Let’s start this off with the first female to don the Yellow morph suit!  (Show pics of Trini Kwan while a title card says “Trini Kwan” as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Trini Kwan and show clips of Trini Kwan while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): Trini was able to quote Confucius, translate Billy’s scientific jargon to English anyone can understand and as the Yellow Ranger she fought with honor & grace against all of Rita & Zedd’s monsters. (Show James physically) Now what made this role controversial was the fact that Trini’s actress, the late Thuy Trang was from Ho Chi Min which was in Asia and her original actress was Hispanic. But seeing how gender wise it is a female name. The Role can be amorphous and if they choose an Asian actress to portray the character as a homage to the original series I will be fine with it. But for my choice to play the role of Trini Kwan is…(Knock on the front door) One moment. (Cut to the outside of the front door of James’ house) Well, ask and ye shall receive (Cut to Naya Rivera as a title card saying Naya Rivera appears over her midsection as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Naya Rivera and she jumps back as the title card disappears.)

Naya Rivera: What the hell was that? (Cut to James)

TLOTA: A title card. (Cut to Naya)

Naya Rivera: Why? (Cut to James)

TLOTA: Because I hope the casting director at Lionsgate & Saban Brands will choose you to play Trini Kwan, The Yellow Ranger for the upcoming reboot of the Power Rangers movie franchise. (Cut to Naya)

Naya Rivera: Say what? (Cut to James)

TLOTA: I said I hope the casting director at Lionsgate & Saban Brands will choose you to play Trini Kwan, The Yellow Ranger for the upcoming reboot of the Power Rangers movie franchise. (Cut to Naya)

Naya Rivera: I heard you the first time. Why do you think I should play the Yellow Ranger? (Cut to James)

TLOTA: Glad you asked. (Show clips of Naya Rivera while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): Because you evolved Santana Lopez from what was a stuck up cheerleader into a fully developed character and showed the same fierce determination that made Trini Kwan worthy of being the Yellow Ranger and believe it or not this will show a more intelligent side to you and again I wish to avoid the mistake Saban made 21 years ago! (Show James & Naya physically in the same room)

Naya Rivera: What mistake?

TLOTA: According to sources at the first Power Morphicon the Executive Producers didn’t realize how racist a mistake they made until ten episodes in. But personally if I were in the Executive Producer role back then the only changes I would’ve made were to make Billy the Black Ranger, Kimberly the Yellow Ranger, Trini the Pink Ranger and made my next casting choice the Blue Ranger. (Show pics of Zack Taylor while a title card says “Zack Taylor” as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Zack Taylor and show clips of Zack Taylor while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): Zack was the fun loving guy with a black belt degree in a mixed martial art known as Hip Hop Aikido. Also when Jason was held hostage by Rita, Goldar & the Green Ranger in that prison dimension Zack took the lead while Jason fought for his life & the team didn’t have Zordon during that period when The Green Ranger was under the control of Rita. (Show James & Naya physically in the same room)

Naya Rivera: If he was so great what was wrong with Zack being the Black Ranger?

TLOTA: Please note I mean NO disrespect to Walter Emanuel Jones but making a dark skinned African American the Black Ranger by today’s standards is WRONG! But seeing how gender wise it is a male name. The Role can be amorphous and if they choose Xavier Woods who has campaigned to portray the character as a homage to the original series I will be fine with it. But for me, my choice is…(Show pics of Taylor Lautner while a title card says “Taylor Lautner” as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Taylor Lautner and scene changes to Naya & James with Naya Squealing in ecstasy)

Naya Rivera: OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD! IF HE’S GOING TO BE IN IT, I’LL SIGN ON NO QUESTION!

TLOTA: Can I explain why I want Taylor if you can keep your composure.

Naya Rivera: Okay (show clips of Taylor Lautner while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): Believe it or not, he was the one of the few good things in The Twilight Saga movies and outside of the “Sharkboy & Lavagirl” movie he hasn’t had any good roles and this might be a good opportunity for him to show a humorous side that Taylor himself can poke fun at himself. (Show James & Naya physically in the same room)

Naya Rivera: Well, I like my fellow Rangers so far, who’s next?

TLOTA: Well let’s get to the one character that has been a fan favorite since the launch of the series! (Show pics of Tommy Oliver while “Go Green Ranger Go” instrumental plays and a title card says “Tommy Oliver” as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Tommy Oliver and show clips of Tommy Oliver while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): Linkara said in his review of Season 3 of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers that he had no idea what Tommy’s personality was. But I can try to guess. Before he became the Green Ranger, Tommy was your everyday average Joe, he had no interest in Power Rangers or fighting Rita Repulsa, he had a normal life he didn’t want to become a superhero though I do think he had Kimberly on his mind at the time as well as wanting to live a normal life but I think it was the fact that he was the equal to the Power Rangers Martial Arts wise that made Rita choose him to become the Green Ranger & when he was able to show a bad boy attitude when he was the evil Green Ranger and when he changed sides he became more intelligent, a little more wiser and somehow the ladies loved the guy. (Scene cuts to James & Naya physically in the same room)

TLOTA: And I hope whoever they get meets up with Jason David Frank’s standards for either the Homage route or the more serious route but my choice for the character who helped The Power Rangers to become Iconic is…(Show pictures of Liam Hemsworth while a title card says “Liam Hemsworth” as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Liam Hemsworth and cuts to James & Naya physically in the same room)

Naya Rivera: Is he from something I know?

TLOTA: The Hunger Games movie franchise. (Naya squeals then grabs James and shouts Yes! Repeatedly before reclaiming her composure.)

Naya Rivera: Why do you think he’d be the best Tommy Oliver? (Show clips of Liam Hemsworth while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): While he is best known from his work in “The Hunger Games” movie franchise and “The Expendables 2” the role of Tommy Oliver would be great to show he has more to offer than simply being there. He could show off his acting range as he can be the nicest guy as the everyday average Tommy Oliver and when he becomes the Evil Green Ranger he can show the darker image of green that is just waiting under the surface to come and destroy the Rangers both psychologically and physically. (Show James & Naya physically in the same room)

TLOTA: Now let’s move on to the other female ranger who showed the heart and compassion that only her character has, The Pink Ranger. (Show pics of Kimberly Hart while a title card says “Kimberly Hart” as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Kimberly Hart and show clips of Kimberly Hart while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): Kimberly may have stereotyped as the “Valley Girl” but she has shown she has all the qualities to be worthy of the Pink Ranger. My associate “The Rowdy Reviewer” did a top six great Kimberly Hart Pink Ranger moments showing how great she was as a person and as the Pink Ranger. (Show James & Naya physically in the same room)

Naya Rivera: So who do you choose to play opposite me as the Pink Ranger?

TLOTA: Well, we need someone who could be great to look at, someone as flexible someone who can show the same type of compassion that all Pink Rangers have been known for. So it is with that in mind that I choose to play Kimberly Ann Hart….( Show pictures of Ashley Greene while a title card says “Ashley Greene” as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Ashley Greene and cuts to James & Naya physically in the same room)

TLOTA: What? No squealing, no excitement?

Naya Rivera: Uh are you talking about one of those Pseudo Vampires from “Twilight”? (Show clips of Ashley Greene while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (voice over): While yes she was Alice Cullen from “The Twilight Saga”.  I think her best work is ahead of her and this might be the role she needs to shake off that whole “Twilight Saga” Alice Cullen persona and allow her to expand her range. It could show her compassionate side, her comedic chops and show how truly bad ass Kimberly could be. (Show James & Naya physically in the same room)

Naya Rivera: Well, That satisfies me.

TLOTA: Okay let’s move on to the brains of the bunch! (Show pics of Billy Cranston while a title card says “Billy Cranston” as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Billy Cranston and show clips of Billy Cranston while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (voice over): Billy Cranston was the brains of the group. He whipped up the scientific gizmos the Rangers needed to help defeat the bad guys and outthought Rita & Zedd combined!  If The Doctor, Beast from X-Men, Donatello from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Bones from Star Trek, & Billy were all in the same room, their intelligence would make the people at MENSA look like people with everyday intelligence! (Show James & Naya physically in the same room) Surprisingly, the character of Billy’s other half of his moniker was never said on screen. Fans gave the character that last name based on the fact that future “Malcolm In The Middle” & “Breaking Bad” star Bryan Cranston who along with a myriad of future stars worked on the show including “MAD TV” & “Family Guy” Actress Alex Borstein. But my choice to play the role of the slightly awkward and dorky but bad ass Blue Ranger is…

(Show pictures of Noel Fisher while a title card says “Noel Fisher” as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Noel Fisher while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice-over): This guy is known for playing the dorky, geeky pushover. He also showed those who saw him as an obstacle as someone not to mess around with as he did in the season 10 finale of “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” episode entitled “Zebras” when he took out the lawyer representing a complete and total nut job and nearly killed Judge Donnelly by sticking her with a hypo filled with Potassium Chloride. Noel showed he can play it heavy. But if he were to portray the Blue Ranger, he can show how being smart & brave can work to someone’s advantage and be amazing as Bily (Show James & Naya physically in the same room)

Naya Rivera: Wow, I am liking the choices. How many are left?

TLOTA: Well, the only one left is the original leader, the one who took charge and took initials as he and the other rangers stopped Rita dead in her tracks. (Show pictures of Jason Lee Scott while a title card says “Jason Lee Scott” as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Jason Lee Scott while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): He was muscular, stoic, take action, martial artist who listened to the sage words of Zordon and basically had to make the decisions that could’ve either sent their team to defeat or brought them one step closer to finally finishing Rita and Zedd and the forces of evil. He was the one that everyone counted on. (Show James & Naya physically in the same room)

TLOTA: So it is with that in mind that I choose to play the original red ranger….(Show pictures of Aaron Taylor-Johnson while a title card says “Aaron Taylor-Johnson” as the Movie Trailer voice of the Blockbuster Buster says Aaron Taylor-Johnson while James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice-over): Best known as Dave “Kick-Ass” Lizewski from the “Kick-Ass” movies and other notable roles like in the 2014 Godzilla movie. Aaron Taylor-Johnson has shown he can be the stoic heroic type to lead a group of people into battle. This is the guy I want to see lead the rangers into battle.

Naya Rivera (Voice over): Wait a second! (Needle scratches as scene cuts back to James & Naya physically)

Naya Rivera: Weren’t there other rangers?

TLOTA: Well yeah. (Show clips of Power Rangers from across the board and “Go Go Power Rangers” instrumental while James does the voice over.)

TLOTA (Voice over): And for those who aren’t in the know there were four changes to the lineup. The first three were of course Jason, Zack & Trini who were replaced with Rocky DeSantos, Aisha Campbell & Adam Park and my choice Rocky is believe it or not Chris Colfer, my choice for Aisha would be Keke Palmer and my choice for Adam would be Harry Shum Jr.

Naya Rivera (Voice over): Excellent choices.

TLOTA (Voice over): I’m not done yet, the final change came in third season when Amy Jo Johnson left the series and her character Kimberly was replaced by Katherine and boy did everyone give her grief for it. But my respect for Catherine Sutherland for taking all the criticism with grace and dignity and my choice to play her would be Jenna Coleman. (Cut to James & Naya physically)

TLOTA: And these are my choices for who I want to see perform the Power Rangers in the live action movie Reboot. Will I watch it? If it’s done right. (Cut to clips of the Power Rangers with James doing a voice over)

TLOTA (Voice over): When I mean done right, here is what I mean. If they choose either a J.J. Abrams, Zack Snyder, James Cameron, Steven Spielberg or Joss Whedon type to direct it might do better than “The Avengers” or “Superman: Man Of Steel” and if the right writers are on board this might get respect from the Academy Awards and if they are able to have the right effects houses on board make the morphing sequence, Morph suits and Zords look spectacular I can see people talking about this movie’s effects makes Avatar look like a first grader’s artwork and if the producers take care of the original source material of both the sentai footage & Power Rangers then expect the loyal fans to be at the midnight showing and hopefully bring a new audience to the series and maybe that audience will know why it has lasted for over two decades and shows no sign of stopping anytime soon. (Cut to James & Naya physically)

TLOTA: And as I said earlier, if you think my choices are wrong leave a comment in the section below. Thanks for checking my choices out and before I forget. Why are you here?

Naya Rivera: Well, Lea wanted to thank you for being there for her on the anniversary of…

TLOTA: I know and the other reason is…?

Naya Rivera: I wanted to apologize for doing what I did a couple of months ago and to let you know that 2015 is going to be when the final season of “GLEE” will air. Also I, Chris, Lea, Jane and your squirrely little friend Rowdy are going to be able to help you move into that new place after your September review. What are you reviewing in September?

TLOTA: Oh uh, Anger Management starring Adam Sandler.

Naya Rivera: Didn’t that become a TV Vehicle for Charlie Sheen?

TLOTA: Trust me, the movie is better than the Porno-Com and because I know people will be asking for a review. I know my friend will have to review it because it is TV Trash and it’ll happen because I reviewed the movie and it is going to drive my friend who just came back from a very dark place in which he saw what was at the start of the bottom of the barrel and it drove him mad and the Charlie Sheen Porno-Com calling itself Anger Management is at the bottom of the bottom of the barrel and he’ll review it because I’m reviewing the movie and it’ll drive him into a place even worse than before and I’ll be the one to drive him there. What kind of monster am I? I need to go and just …. Just…. I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and….I’m going to reevaluate my existence. (Musical cue from the Nostalgia Critic’s review of “The Cat In The Hat” from when he stepped away from the review and looked at the sunset on a hill plays as James walks into his backyard and into a wooded area where a bench is and James sits there looking out into the sky as the music continues and everything fades to black.)