Monday, January 18, 2016

Is "Batman & Robin" really that bad?

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then cutting to The Last Of The Americans)

TLOTA: I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. As I sat through all the Batman movies for research on which movies I planned on reviewing I knew I'd have to talk about Joel Schumacher's "Batman & Robin" (Cut to opening credit of "Batman & Robin" before cutting to clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): And believe it or not this was THE first Batman movie I saw in theaters and I enjoyed it as a matter of fact I thought it was one of the better movies outside of Titanic & Men In Black but apparently it got one hell of a lambasting from the critics but it did make it's money back so obviously people watched it. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: So if people watched it and the movie made it's money back for Warner Brothers though technically it was in the foreign market and in the then burgeoning DVD market why is it considered bad?(Cut to clips of "Batman & Robin" and the previous "Batman" movies as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): I think a lot of it came from the fact that it was rushed. Because it was in 1986 that the first "Batman" movie was in Pre-Production and didn't come out until three years later becoming one of the best "Batman" movies ever. The Sequel "Batman Returns" didn't get released until 1992 three years after the first one. Then in 1995 three years after "Batman Returns" did we get "Batman Forever" but then two years after that did we get "Batman & Robin". So obviously they were working with somethings about the characters and the story and the plot that was obviously incomplete. Like the fact instead of it being Barbara Gordon being Batgirl, It was Alfred's "Niece" and I put those quotation marks because Barbara Wilson played by Alicia Silverstone while wasn't bad as Batgirl left something to be desired when it came to the role because A) Alicia Silverstone didn't try to hide her American Accent with something closer to Alfred's actor Michael Gough and his accent & B) She didn't feel a part of anything involving anything with The Dynamic Duo until the third act, up until then it was like a five second moment trying to give depth to her and nothing came from it. Then we have the problems with Robin. He sounds like he's trying to make certain points about how the partnership between the two isn't working well. I know the gag is this bit from the Nostalgia Critic's review of this when it comes to him trying to be heard makes him less of a character and more of a whiney pansy, but when Batman doesn't explain why he's acting the way he does because of the experiences he had in both the Tim Burton movies of course Batman is gonna look like a bat-dick and while I'm on the subject of Batman himself, as I stated before in my "In Defense of ...Bat-Fleck" episode George Clooney wasn't a bad choice to play the Dark Knight, he was just underutilized. He didn't play Batman as a dark figure but I think at that point he wasn't at least George Clooney didn't think Batman was as Dark a figure as he was in the first movies but he should've been more of a mentor or teacher to Robin so he could've avoided the pitfalls of falling for an enemy like when Bruce fell for Selina Kyle in Batman Returns but neither of them found out their alter-egos until the middle of the third act. But instead he became condescending towards Robin and questioned everything he did because it wasn't how he would've handled it. But there is a positive to his performance, he was introspective when it came to his past. He wasn't haunted by his parents murder rather he was inspired to be better and do better to save Gotham both as Bruce Wayne as a Philanthropic person and as Batman when he puts on the cape and cowl and takes down the bad guys and speaking of them we have Mr. Freeze played by Arnold Schwarzenegger and Poison Ivy played by Uma Thurman who probably knew the movie wasn't good but they decided to do their best with what they had though I do wish they had tone down the Ice Puns with Mr. Freeze and I did hope Uma Thurman would've sound less whiny than Robin but that's while she was trying to ram her eco-terroristic views down everyone's throats while also trying to seduce people. Another problem the production had was too many opinions and not enough people saying no as I found out in Oliver Harper's reviews The People running the toy line wanted a whole lot of costumes and vehicles for characters which I think explains all the costumes Poison Ivy had as well as the way the Batmobile and everything other vehicle in this movie looked like a something a little kid would have. If Joel Schumacher had the stones to say if you're interested in your own way of doing this, I would be glad to hand the reigns over to you but since I'm the director I'm doing it the way I wanted to. Which leads me to the next problem of this movie Joel Schumacher instead of standing up with a vision and a story to tell he had a cluster of too many cooks in his kitchen which lead to him apologizing throughout his commentary track on the movie and he also let us know he screwed the pooch in his own way when it came to making this movie! (Cut to James Physically)

TLOTA: So is "Batman & Robin" really that bad? Not really.(Cut to clips of "Batman & Robin" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): It's not one of the worse movies I've ever seen, in fact I'd rather watch "Batman & Robin" than some of the movies I've seen and reviewed, it's not the worst comic book movie adaptation, I've seen way, way, way worse Comic book adaptations than "Batman & Robin" (Cut to the DVD Cover of Seth Rogen's "Green Hornet" and James says "HINT! HINT!" before cutting to clips of "Batman & Robin" as James continues his voiceover) it is not the worst Batman movie I've seen, trust me there is one to which I have NOTHING Positive to say about. As for "Batman & Robin" there are some positives I have yet to mention to come out of this movie for example the soundtrack and the orchestral soundtrack was aggressively enjoying. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: And then there is this moment in the Nostalgia Critic's review (Cut to The moment in The Nostalgia Critic's review of "Batman & Robin" in which Poison Ivy shouts out "CURSES!" And it then cuts to The Nostalgia Critic "GOD DAMN THIS MOVIE!  THEY DID IT! THEY FINALLY DID IT! BATMAN HAS DRIVEN ME BAT-SHIT CRAZY!" (Nostalgia Critic goes bonkers for Banana balls) before cutting to James physically.)

TLOTA: What did you expect? Me to use the Bat-Credit Card? (Cut to the Nostalgia Critic going bonkers for Banana Balls after shouting "A BAT-CREDIT CARD?!" and shooting up the place before cutting to James constantly ducking stray bullet rounds)

TLOTA: Now look at what happened, Got to get going anyway, I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and that's my opinion(Nostalgia Critic is still going off as a bullet nicks James scalp and James runs off screen.)