Monday, March 31, 2014

Let's Play Skygard!

(Commercial Sting with of the American Gladiators first run's final season's ten seconds theme with James Standing next to Army Text saying The Last Of The Americans. Then a rubber stamp stamps over the entire thing the word Editorial)

TLOTA: I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. I've been kind of busy as of late what with my sword being stolen, searching for The Wicked and what have you not so getting out an editorial has been kind of hard. But that doesn't mean I can't do something, so I decided to post a "Let's Play" now I know that it might be hard to do seeing as how I write text reviews to post a "Let's Play" but I decided to give it with the good ol' College try. So let's check out "Skygard"! (James walks over to the XBOX 360, opens Disc drive places Disc into Disc drive and an error screen appears) Hmm. Not to worry (James walks over to his desk drawer and grabs two Sonic Screwdrivers) and a One & a two and an Allons-Y! (James hits the Television and XBOX 360 with the Sonic Screwdrivers and accidentally opens up a portal.) Uh-Oh! (Portal widens as James ducks for cover and Karl dressed as he was at the end of "Dragonbored" pops out)

Karl: I'm free! I'M FREE! (Karl shouts, whoops & hollers!) Who are you?

TLOTA: I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and you are?

Karl: Oh hey, I'm Karl and I'm from Chicago. I've been in there for a LOOONG time! I died five hundred times while I was in there.

TLOTA: Uh quick question, Do you usually dress like a Xena: Warrior Princess knockoff or was this part of being in Skygard? (Karl looks at himself and discovers he still looks like Jessica)

Karl: Shit! (Looks down at his crotch) Whew, got my junk back. I based this on my now Ex-Girlfriend Jessica who got stolen by me by that back stabbing Gnome fucker Jimbroth! Uh sorry but do you have any men's clothing! (Time lapses about an hour and Karl is dressed like an ordinary guy now.) Thanks. So now you know my story.

TLOTA: So you were just an ordinary guy with an ordinary job then you got into "Skygard" the game like a fan would then your copy acted like a portal and then your character Jimbroth came to our world, took your job, friends and the woman you loved?

Karl: Yep. I also found out Jessica and Jimbroth got married also LeBron made him a partner so after a while I went through the emotions but now that I'm out of "Skygard" I know what I'm going to do. First off, I'm going to find Taylin and put five hundred bullets into the bastard! One for every death he dealt me! Then I've got a merger proposal for LeBron, him and a pit full of half crazed cannibalistic hyenas! Finally I'm going to take Jimbroth's sword and shred him literally to fucking shreds then rape and skin Jessica alive after that I'll be able to play "Skygard" in peace and serenity! (Karl laughs manically and runs into the night as James prepares to play his copy of "Skygard" when he discovers his copy got stolen by Karl)

TLOTA: Oh SON OF A BITCH! He took my copy of "Skygard" Oh well, at least I gave it the ol' College try. I'm James Faraci The Last of the Americans and that's my opinion.  (Scene changes to classic "Looney Tunes" end scene with the music from classic "Looney Tunes" ending & James pops out of the drum) TLOTA: App a dap dap a APRIL FOOL'S! (The ending scene ends as James does a thumbs up)