Saturday, October 13, 2018

Maven, The Last Of The Americans and The Different Cuts of Blade Trinity

(A Black Background with flashes of White before the words “THE ROAD SO FAR…” is seen with a black flame around it as it cuts to James dressed as Dr. Insano as he sings “Monster Mash” before cutting to when The Maven Of The Eventide as she screams “SURPRISE!” before the cover of “Carry On My Wayward Son” by Anthrax plays in the foreground as clips from their encounters on Oct. 13th play ranging from “The Top 13 Vampire Movies Better than The Twilight Saga” where she and James are looking at each other with James in shock and The Maven Of The Eventide with a look of determination on her face to the moment in which James and Lea Michele are resting in each other’s arms and Lea becomes a vampire scaring the hell out of James only to reveal that it had been a dream then cutting to “Breaking the curse of “The Twilight Saga” in which James gets his Man-Marbles smashed before it cuts to the middle of the brawl between the Internet Reviewers and the Cullens/Volturi as James then James and Rowdy teaming up with Eliza Dushku and Traci Hines as they finish off Edward and Bella before fading to back to the black background and the word “NOW” is seen with a Black Flame before fading into the boudoir of “The Maven Of The Eventide” as she sits and waits)
The Maven Of The Eventide:
Goooood Evening! I am Ze Maven Of Ze Eventide and Welcome to “Vampire Reviews” (Cut to the intro card of “Maven Of The Eventide Vampire Reviews” before cutting back to “The Maven Of The Eventide”) Tonight! I finally finish up my look at the “Blade” movies series with Blade Trinity. (A Pair of familiar looking sunglasses land perfectly in The Maven’s hand) Hmm, they’re black but these don’t look bad ass! (The Maven puts on the Sunglasses) WOW! What the… “Browser history”?!
TLOTA (Off-Screen):
WHOOPS! Meant to erase that! (A sonic screwdriver’s hum is heard before the tech in the sunglasses are shot and The Maven takes off the glasses just before they spark, and the tech is shot)
The Maven Of The Eventide:
Okay, who did that?
TLOTA (Off-Screen):
Over here! (The Camera pans to see James Faraci The Last Of The Americans)
TLOTA:
Hi! (Cut to The Maven Of The Eventide)
The Maven Of The Eventide:
MOTHER F… (Cut to a flaming Iris with the words “The Last Of The Americans” in the text used in “Supernatural” before cutting to James in The Maven Of The Eventide’s boudoir as things are being tossed and slamming noises are in the background as James sits in his chair ducking as some things go flying)
TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that we’re about to express are that of our own and some of yours! (The Maven Of The Eventide returns in a huff to her seat)
The Maven Of The Eventide:
Why the hell are you here?
TLOTA:
Well I heard from a couple of little birdies that you were having trouble on the third installment in the Blade Franchise AKA The one that killed it! (Cut to Paw and Grey as they try to hightail it out of harm’s way as The Maven Of The Eventide shouts “FREEZE!” before cutting back to James and Maven)
Maven:
Which of you two was it? (Cut to Paw & Grey)
Grey:
Daddy!
Paw:
Squealer! Let me explain. I knew this was driving you nuts, so I asked him to be a consultant. I didn’t expect him to come here. (Cut to James and Maven)
TLOTA:
Well I figure if I were to help why not go for the full crossover. See if I can add to your review of “Blade Trinity” and guess what, there is something I can add. Not only is there a theatrical cut there’s also the unrated cut which means…
Maven:
Oh no, not that… ANYTHING BUT… (Cut to Team TLOTA as they are armed with Chainsaws and Double Barreled 12 Gauge Shotguns as Hordes of Zombies come their way and everyone on Team “TLOTA” hack and slash their way through them all with different body parts and blood spelling out “The Different Cuts” as the final Chorus from “Don’t Stop Me Now” covered by Darren Criss plays in the background before cutting to clips from Blade Trinity as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
“Blade Trinity” was such a clusterbank of just the wrong moves that it put a stake into the Blade Franchise but Director and Writer David Goyer (Cut to an image David Goyer and all the Cinematic Blunders he has done) YES THAT DAVID GOYER! (Cut back to clips of Blade Trinity as James continues his voiceover) Anyway Goyer decided to release the version he wanted to have out there piggybacking on the theatrical DVD so…. (Cut to James and The Maven Of The Eventide)
TLOTA (Sounding like The Maven Of The Eventide):
Tonight we look at the unrated cut and the theatrical cut of “Blade Trinity”
Maven Of The Eventide:
If this is gonna happen how exactly does this work?
TLOTA:
Glad you asked, four categories, four points the one with the most points at the end of the four categories is deemed The Superior Cut. Let’s start with the first category, an important part to anything in any entertainment with an idea. The Plot!  (Cut to duel images of the covers of The movie as “Blood Rave” plays in the foreground with James on one cover Ryan Reynolds side and one with The Maven Of The Eventide on the other cover in the Jessica Biel position and as two go back two blades juggle back and forth before the words “The Plot” as the blades continue to juggle before cutting to clips of the movie as James and Maven do voiceovers.)
Maven Of The Eventide (Voiceover):
Having had enough of Blade a group of renegade vampires find the ancient tomb of Dracula. Meanwhile Blade once again played by Wesley Snipes has become sloppy taking on all comers is considered a public menace. After losing Whistler once again he now must lead a group of young Vampire hunters called “The Nightstalkers” which includes Whistler’s Daughter born out of wedlock Abigail and Hannibal King. Now it’s up to Blade and “The Nightstalkers” to stop Dracula and every single last vampire VIA A mass Vampire Genocide from a Virus known as “Daystar” and Dracula who has seen this world and decided to take control and kill Blade, so Vampires have a chance to create Blood Farms from Schmoes like James.
TLOTA (Voiceover):
So these Vampires are sick of hunting for their food and decide Okay, we’re gonna preserve them and drain them slowly. No wonder Blade and “The Nightstalkers” have the dumb-ass plan of Mass Vampire Genocide via a virus known as “Daystar” (Cut to James and The Maven physically)
Maven Of The Eventide:
Well that’s just rude of Blade and “The Nightstalkers”
TLOTA:
But which one uses this plot better? (Cut to clips of the movie as James and Maven do voiceovers.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Well after watching both we can honestly say the plot under better circumstances could’ve worked if things had been different. If New Line Cinema had taken tighter reigns over Goyer, Snipes and the production they might’ve had a better product and not a mess of two movies.
Maven Of The Eventide (Voiceover):
If there’s anything as positive to see come from this story was the fact they were setting up more movies in which Blade was just as disinterested in being around people just as Snipes was disinterested in a lot of things. But let’s say we were to flip a coin and see which one used this plot better, I’d have to give it to the Theatrical Cut.
TLOTA (Voiceover):
No Disagreement here and here’s the reason, it tries to focus on what it needs to. (Cut to James and The Maven physically)
TLOTA:
So it is with much trepidation that we give the first point to The Theatrical Cut
Maven Of The Eventide:
But only because of certain things we’ll get into with the next part. (Cut to duel images of the covers of The movie as “Blood Rave” plays in the foreground with James on one cover Ryan Reynolds side and one with The Maven Of The Eventide on the other cover in the Jessica Biel position and as two go back two blades juggle back and forth before one Blade ends on the cover with The Maven Of The Eventide on it before cutting back to James and Maven Physically)
TLOTA:
And now to the part which actually in the long run, there was very little changed but those little changes made the biggest effect on the different cuts of this movie.
(Cut to duel images of the covers of The movie as “Blood Rave” plays in the foreground with James on one cover Ryan Reynolds side and one with The Maven Of The Eventide on the other cover in the Jessica Biel position and as two go back two blades juggle back and forth before the words “Editing” as the blades continue to juggle before cutting to clips of the movie as James and Maven do voiceovers.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
With only ten minutes added in and an alternate ending put into the unrated cut, how different is it from the theatrical version well, now we must go into Spoilers territory, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Maven Of The Eventide (Voiceover):
In the theatrical cut, The Daystar Virus is circulated and it’s Armageddon for my poor dear vampires, a group of Feds come into the building to find and find Blade’s body sans a shirt only for it to be revealed that once he’s in the morgue it’s Drake and Blade riding off into the sunset with narration from Hannibal King which leads into “Blade: The Series” which I already reviewed.
TLOTA (Voiceover):
However in the unrated version there are big differences, firstly in the intro after the Vampires meet with Dracula there is a moment that sends the momentum of the opening to a screeching halt for the only reason to introduce Dr. Vance who is a Familiar, now in the ending of unedited cut after The Daystar Virus is circulated and it’s Armageddon for Maven’s vampire friends, the Feds come into the building to find an unconscious Blade who wakes up in the Morgue and he is pissed and after waking up goes on a rampage and rides off into the sunset but the narration by Hannibal King leads us to believe that Blade has embraced the Vampire side of himself and is now a renegade.
(Cut to James and The Maven physically)
Maven Of The Eventide:
Okay, multiple questions. One, why did Abigail and Hannibal take Dracula’s Corpse? Two, why did they leave Blade? Three, Why and How did the Daystar Virus cause Blade to embrace the vampire within and Finally, which cut was better?
TLOTA:
Excellent questions Maven. The answers to the first three, I have no clue and no idea why and as to answer the fourth one lies in the endings and which one you liked better. (Cut to clips of both versions of the movie as James and The Maven do voiceovers)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
If you like the ending that connects to the Series then all the power and positive energy to you, it just wasn’t my cup of tea!
Maven Of The Eventide (Voiceover):
Well the unrated version wasn’t a joy to watch, knowing that Blade who dedicated himself to wiping out my precious Vampires actually becomes one. That was just weird! But a stake to the chest ready to take me out, I’d have to give it to the Theatrical version just because it led into something that was better but slightly.  (Cut to James and The Maven physically)
TLOTA:
So the theatrical cut moves up and has two points (Cut to duel images of the covers of The movie as “Blood Rave” plays in the foreground with James on one cover Ryan Reynolds side and one with The Maven Of The Eventide on the other cover in the Jessica Biel position and as two go back two blades juggle back and forth before two Blade ends on the cover with The Maven Of The Eventide on it  and James has nothing on his side before cutting back to James and Maven Physically)
TLOTA:
So the theatrical cut is up two to nada and Maven, you’re looking a little pallid. Maybe it’s the lighting, the make-up or I don’t know what it is but maybe I could whip you up something. What do you say we take a break, you get a pint, I get a bite to eat and come back refreshed and ready to take on the rest of the categories?
Maven Of The Eventide:
Doesn’t sound like a bad idea! (James and the Maven walk away before fading to black before cutting to the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before fading to black then cut back to the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to a refreshed and revitalized Maven and James)
Maven Of The Eventide:
You know, that break was worth. So next up is the Cast and Characters?
TLOTA:
You’re learning
(Cut to duel images of the covers of The movie as “Blood Rave” plays in the foreground with James on one cover Ryan Reynolds side and one with The Maven Of The Eventide on the other cover in the Jessica Biel position and as two go back two blades juggle back and forth before the words “Cast and Characters” as the blades continue to juggle before cutting to clips of the movie as James does a voiceover.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Let me say the following, given the writing and production problems let me say that for the most part, the acting is decent. Jessica Biel as Abigail Whistler was okay as was Patton Oswald, John Michael Higgins, James Remar and Eric Bogosian who is in the Unrated cut then there’s Kris Kristofferson who for the brief time he’s on the screen knows that this would be Whistler’s last ride because after being revived thanks to Gold medal levels of Plot gymnastics in “Blade II”. Now we’ve come to well… We’ll let his intro scene speak for itself. (Show Hannibal King’s intro in “Blade Trinity”) Yes Hannibal King played by Ryan Reynolds! (Cut to The Maven and James physically)
The Maven Of The Eventide:
Ryan Reynolds, Why does that name ring a bell? (Cut to a still image of the blood seen in the beginning of the movie as “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” plays and Deadpool played by Cambell Dodson comes on the scene in a bathtub before he slams on the brakes on his ride.)
Deadpool:
AHOY THERE! Yep that’s right he went from a King to a Super Emperor character which is just what I am, and I can honestly say, Hannibal King is me sans any of my usual enjoyable personality and fourth wall demolition. Like for example the moments between King and Blade. (Cut to the few times Blade and Hannibal are together on screen before cutting back to Deadpool) Then there’s his attitude towards Danica! If it were me, I’d be less of an asshole but Hannibal? (Cut to every time he insults Danica Talos before returning to Deadpool) Damn, he is just a vicious, vicious dick! Maybe it’s because she was unimpressed by his little stake and couldn’t make her scream for something more! But yeah, Hannibal King is as much as likable a character as I am likely going to be joining the MCU in my current iteration. Any who, I’ll just shuffle on out of here! (Deadpool zooms off as the blood wipe cuts to The Maven and James physically)
Maven Of The Eventide:
I think it’s best for the both of us to forget this moment and move on.
TLOTA:
No arguments here! So why don’t you talk about your beloved vampire characters. (Cut to clips of both versions of the movie as The Maven Of The Eventide does a voiceover)
Maven (Voiceover):
Well of course there’s Danica Talos played by Parker Posey she is the supposed leader of a Vampire Mafioso who decides along with her brother Asher played by Callum Keith Rennie and her muscle known as Jarko Grimwood played by Triple H to find The First Vampire. The originator of the Vampire ways who didn’t evolve into a nocturnal vampire like the rest of the Vampires. According to this movie it’s Dracula or as he’s known in this movie Drake played by Heatwave himself Dominic Purcell, his Dracula can be incognito by transforming himself into anyone, walk in the daytime and be an equal to Blade in most ways, okay granted the only monstrous thing he does is snack on some Goth wannabes until he fights with Blade at the end. But now we come to Blade himself played by Wesley Snipes. Now let’s forget the problems Snipes had with New Line, Goyer and everything else. Blade has now become stoic, sullen and yet so sloppy. Now I know James what you’re going to say yes I know he suffered the heartache of losing a love interest in the last movie and in the movie before that he lost the mentor and father figure who came back in the second movie thanks to plot convenience only to lose him so quickly again it’s no surprise that A) He didn’t want to work with the “Nightstalkers” in the beginning and B) Why he lost a lot of the personality he had in the last two movies. Now we’re left with a Blade whose personality is so dull it couldn’t cut blood! (Cut to a shot of Mike Santos doing a rimshot before cutting to James and Maven physically)
TLOTA:
So now comes the question, which version of the movie uses the cast to their best abilities even though Wesley only appears in close-ups, didn’t do a drop of ADR and only when he was off the Blood Red! (Cut to clips of both versions of the movie as James and The Maven do voiceovers)
Maven (Voiceover):
After watching both movies, I am making this decision on who outside of Wesley Snipes was the best though admittedly Dominic Purcell’s Dracula AKA Drake was okay even though they had to add in one trope that was brought in from “Dracula 2000” that got me hot around my neckline.
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Which Trope?
Maven (Voiceover):
Just Watch. (Show clip in which “Drake” talks about being Judas) (Cut to James and Maven Physically)
TLOTA:
Really?!
Maven Of The Eventide:
Yes, the trope that Dracula might be JUDAS!
TLOTA:
Even by Goyer’s low standards that’s just something WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS! Anyway, we’re getting distracted. Better Cast is?
The Maven Of The Eventide:
The Unrated Version (Cut to clips of both versions of the movie as The Maven Of The Eventide does a voiceover)
Maven (Voiceover):
So much of the movie’s unrated version is better because of the cast. We get more time to see them all even as little of Blade we see how they interact well with each other. Granted the interactions between Blade and The Nightstalkers aren’t some of the best in cinematic history but the fact they do interact better here as opposed to the theatrical cut says very little. (Cut to James and Maven Physically)
TLOTA:
So the Unrated version gets a point?
Maven Of The Eventide:
Yep!
(Cut to duel images of the covers of The movie as “Blood Rave” plays in the foreground with James on one cover Ryan Reynolds side and one with The Maven Of The Eventide on the other cover in the Jessica Biel position and as two go back two blades juggle back and forth before two Blade ends on the cover with The Maven Of The Eventide on it and James has one on his side before cutting back to James and Maven Physically)
TLOTA:
And now the final category and to get you up to par with what’s necessary. This Category is about watched a movie to DEATH at one point then you just forget about it for a while then one day, you pop into the player or it comes up on some streaming service and you decide to yourself “Okay, it’s been a while, let’s see if I still like it”. Something I call “The Re-Watch Factor”
(Cut to duel images of the covers of The movie as “Blood Rave” plays in the foreground with James on one cover Ryan Reynolds side and one with The Maven Of The Eventide on the other cover in the Jessica Biel position and as two go back two blades juggle back and forth before the words “The Re-Watch Factor” as the blades continue to juggle before cutting to clips of the movie as James and Maven do voiceovers.)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
While the movie is a disaster no questions about it. I found something enjoyable about both versions of the movie. Whether how laughably bad the acting from Wesley Snipes and Dominic Purcell or how badly they tried to shoehorn Spinoff Material for “The Nightstalkers” movie which never made it past this movie and hell how the story continuously just shoots itself by going in so many different directions that you wonder if David Goyer had any plans going into this.
Maven (Voiceover):
Are you kidding? James these movies were horrendous!
TLOTA (Voiceover):
I was trying to tell people what was negative and hopefully see past the flaws and see something worth watching in both movies and you know something? I found not only the Unrated cut enjoyable in its own rights I found the theatrical cut in its own rights as well.
Maven (Voiceover):
I hate to say this, but I whole heartedly agree with you James. For as bad as both movies are there is a certain je ne sais quoi that cannot be underestimated. Even this, considered one of the worst Comic Book and Vampire movies outside a certain franchise has an appeal to it so if that’s the case who gets the point?
TLOTA (Voiceover):
The answer is simple… BOTH! (A Record scratches before cutting to James and Maven Physically)
Maven Of The Eventide:
BOTH?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
TLOTA:
Maven, remember what I said about the points! (Rewinds to the point when James talks about how “The Different Cuts” works before fast forwarding to the present)
Maven Of The Eventide:
Oh yeah and since the Unrated cut has three points and the theatrical cut has two, I win!
TLOTA:
Actually, The Unrated Cut wins.
Maven Of The Eventide:
Fair enough
(Cut to duel images of the covers of The movie as “Blood Rave” plays in the foreground with James on one cover Ryan Reynolds side and one with The Maven Of The Eventide on the other cover in the Jessica Biel position and as two go back two blades juggle back and forth before three Blade ends on the cover with The Maven Of The Eventide on it and James has two blades on his side before cutting to Blade sticking “The Theatrical Cut” into the demonic looking Drake as tiny little versions to kill all the vampires back to James and Maven Physically)
TLOTA:
And now with Marvel just about to put the kibosh on their next phase on the MCU where or how will you think Blade will appear. In a Netflix series, A Series on ABC, A Series on Freeform or will he return to the Cinemas. Feel free to let us know in the comment section below. Well Maven it has been a pleasure working with you again.
Maven Of The Eventide:
Wish I could say the same.


TLOTA:
Well all things considered if you need my assistance, let me know. I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That’s my opinion!

(James lets himself out)

Maven Of The Eventide:

I’m Zee Maven Of The Eventide and....  

(Sounds of James screaming as trips over something and several sounds of things crashing and being smashed off screen as The Maven looks off screen before Grey says "Sorry Mr. Faraci" off screen)

Maven Of The Eventide:
That had to hurt!


(Cut to black as Blood Rave plays in the foreground then the copyright symbol & the words Chez Apocalypse with the year 2018 next to them then Written by Elisa Hanson & James Faraci credit then twitter accounts Twitter.com/ElisaInTime & Twitter.com/TLOTA are credited. James wishes to send his Thanks to Paw Dugan & Eliza Hansen for putting up with James as he helps repair their house and doing this review and to Cambell Dodson for being as bad ass a Deadpool that’d give Ryan Reynolds a run for his money. Elisa and Paw wish to thank James for helping with the repairs to the house and for helping Grey with school before cutting to see James in his office at his laptop computer and clicks on the link for "WitchHaven" then cutting to a Black Screen and the words "One Viewing Later" before cutting to James as he looks as his mind has been blown away)
TLOTA:
WOW! (Cut to the Chez Apocalypse logo then the Manic Expression logo before cutting to black)

Monday, September 10, 2018

25 "Dimensions" of Rangers

(Opening begins at the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James in his office)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. Can you believe that 25 years ago on August 28th 1993 I saw that preview episode that changed the way Superhero teams and Superhero shows could be done? (Cut to 25 years worth of Power Rangers as James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers mixed Sentai Footage and fresh American Footage of teens and young adults portraying the multi-colored morph suited superheroes incognito. The seasons varied in quality of the series between production teams from the heights of the Saban Era post the Mighty Morphin era with "Power Rangers Zeo" all the way through "Power Rangers Time Force" to the bipolarity of the Disney Era when the best seasons they had were "Power Rangers Dino Thunder", "Power Rangers SPD", "Power Rangers Mystic Force" & "Power Rangers: RPM" and the worst being "Power Rangers Operation Overdrive" and to lesser extents "Power Rangers: Wild Force" & "Power Rangers: Jungle Fury" to the way too out there of the short lived Neo-Saban Era which included "Power Rangers Samurai/Super Samurai", "Power Rangers Megaforce/Super Megaforce", "Power Rangers Dino Charge/Dino Supercharge" and it's last series "Power Rangers Ninja Steel/Super Ninja Steel" which has me wondering what will happen in the Hasbro era. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:And even crazier in quality of the few anniversary crossovers. (Cut to clips of "Forever Red", "Once A Ranger" & "Legendary Battle" as James does voiceovers)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
"Forever Red" is considered the pinnacle of these crossovers not because of the action. That was just a small part of it. The episode promised us all the Red Rangers with the only two red ranger actors not being in there was Steve Cardenas who I met at the Hudson Valley Comic-Con back in April of this year who was in the middle of moving to a new place and didn't apprise the higher-ups of his new address and phone number and David Bacon the actor for the Red Alien Ranger Aurico. What made the episode awesome was a sense of all these Red Rangers coming together to stop a remnant threat that had it not been stopped then and there would've been a threat though the ending of it being Cole putting the Kibosh on Serpentera and the fact that writer Amit Bhaumik used his fan-fic "Scorpion Reign" as a part of canonicity which took a friend of mine out of enjoying it. Then there is "Once A Ranger" This one just sucked. Between the veteran team and the non existent time between them and the Operation Overdrive Rangers, though admittedly the less time around Dax and the other Operation Overdrive Rangers may have kept the Veterans from killing the Operation Overdrive Rangers and taking the Operation Overdrive powers from them. Then there's "Legendary Battle" and this was the main reaction that the fans had when they looked at it (Cut to Clip of Tom Servo, Joel Robinson and Crow in the MST3K episode "Attack Of The Eye Creatures" as they shout "THEY JUST DIDN'T CARE!" before cutting to James)

TLOTA:
And now as the 25th anniversary has come now we find ourselves with a special that just... you know it's been a month and I still don't know what to think of it!  (Cut to title of "Power Rangers Super Ninja Steel: Dimensions In Danger" before cutting to clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Dimensions In Danger is arguably the most properly set up special that works itself into the series. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Okay Backstory on the Ninja Steel/Super Ninja Steel.
(Cut to clips of Ninja Steel and Super Ninja Steel as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
So approximately 10 years ago the Romero family which happens to be a family of Ninja Blacksmiths found the Ninja Nexus Prism and the Ninja Nexus Star encased in some material called Ninja Steel when a monster known as Galvanax forced the head of the Romero Family to sacrifice himself and the younger of the Romero Brothers to be kidnapped as the elder one disappeared. Ten years later Galvanax came back to earth. Brody steals the Nexus along with Redbot and Mick played by Power Rangers New Zealand regular Kelson Henderson and soon The Ninja Nexus Prism chooses Brody and four others to be the Ninja Steel Power Rangers. The sixth star and it's bearer kidnapped by Madame Odius until the mid season of Ninja Steel who happens to be a country star named Levi who after attacking a robot that force fed information revealing that Levi is in fact the Red Ranger's brother. Galvanax is defeated as Mick dons a special Red Ranger Morph Suit and it's revealed that the elder Romero survived and he's in another Red Ranger Morph Suit and Madame Odius fooled both Galvanax and helped destroy him as well. But at a price for both, The Ninja Nexus Prism and The Ship Galvanax had are damaged reducing the Ninja Steel to dust. Then in the premiere of Super Ninja Steel it's revealed there is an element stronger than regular Ninja Steel, Super Ninja Steel which revives the Rangers Powers and Zords until the mid season finale which has the Rangers Zord Stars Damaged and powerless that is until the Nexus Prism shows them new Zords in which three people hidden in Cloaks tell the Super Ninja Steel Rangers that they have to earn the Zords and how do they do that? By helping out people as themselves and with that they get new Zords and a new Megazord configuration that uses the Rangers as the final projectiles. Seems rather risky and dangerous but whatever they defeat Madame Odius' Zord Weapon leading us to this point.  (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And now if you're ready, let's take a look at the 25th Power Rangers Anniversary Special "Dimensions In Danger" (Cut to the special as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
So after what I just said happened though in less explanation, We discover Tommy in Reefside taking care of his kid and getting kidnapped and we soon meet up with the Ninja Steel Rangers as they meet Wes from Time Force, Gemma from RPM and Koda from Dino Charge and told that they're from Different Dimensions and that they are starting to become unstable. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Okay, they're still going with the whole Different Dimensions? I think it's a bad idea but that's me.

(Cut to the special as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
 We soon see Kudabots, Madame Odius and the leader of the Anti-verse Lord Draven who is hellbent in destroying the dimensional barriers and his robot duplication of Tommy Oliver. So it's up to all of them to go to The Anti-Verse! We soon see The other Rangers that were captured were Antonio From "Samurai/Super Samurai", T.J. from "Turbo" and "In Space", Catherine from "MMPR Season 3" all the way up to "Turbo", Rocky from "MMPR Season 2 all the way through "Zeo", Trent from "Dino Thunder", Gia from "Megaforce/Super Megaforce"  as we see a WHOLE MESS OF ROBOTIC CLONE RANGERS. Meanwhile the others prepare an all out assault of Draven's Fortress when from out of nowhere an invisible warrior takes down the Kudabots and it just so happens to be Tommy as the others discover Draven's plans to not only tear down the barriers but to conquer all of the Ranger Dimensions. They Split up into three teams one going in to save the Veteran Rangers, Stop Draven and get the arrows before Draven can further destroy the barriers.The Super Ninja Steel Rangers attack Draven to no avail and split up as well to find the Arrows just as Tommy saves the captured Rangers and takes on his dark Robotic doppleganger  (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Okay I've got a few problems with this premise so far. First, HOW DO THE SUPER NINJA STEEL RANGERS KNOW ABOUT THE LEGENDARY RANGERS? If there is some sort of multiversal type of deal with Power Rangers then there the Power Rangers shouldn't be any knowledge on The Super Ninja Steel Rangers or the Super Ninja Steel Rangers knowing about The Legendary Rangers. (Cut to a clip of Wes talking about a Dimensional Jumper device before cutting to James physically)
Welp, That shut me up about that plot hole! But what about Tommy having his Dino Thunder powers even though in the finale of "Power Rangers Dino Thunder" The powers of the Dino Thunder Rangers were gone and how did Tommy activate his Dino Thunder Power, Morph and use his Civilian Power with it. (Cut to clip of Tommy Talking about a "Master Morpher" before cutting to James physically.) I might as well not talk about the obvious nitpicks and problems I have with this until the end. 

(Cut to the special as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): 
So the fight between the two to fight is awesome and differentiate between the two the Robot uses the Dino Thunder Powers and Tommy calls upon all his other morphed forms. Meanwhile Draven takes on the Pink and Red Super Ninja Steel Rangers and find the Mega Arrows and get the hell out of there. They try to go through the barrier but Draven isn't having any of that as The Robo-Ranger Army of Draven looks to end it all. But of Course IT IS TIME! (Show clip of the Rangers Morphing)With his Robo Ranger Army and the barrier starting to falter the Classic Rangers and Super Ninja Steel Rangers start to fight the Robot Duplicates and wow the fight is better than the "Legendary Battle" which isn't saying much as they defeat the Robo Rangers leaving only Draven, Tommy summoning the Falconzord to catch the final Mega Arrow and uses it to vanquish Draven once and for all and with that everyone goes back to their dimensions and the legendary rangers let the Super Ninja Steel Rangers they're awesome and the special ends with everyone returns home and the Super Ninja Steel Rangers ready to continue their battle with Odius. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And that was "Dimensions In Danger" the 25th Anniversary Power Rangers Special. Was it as bad as "Legendary Battle" & "Once A Ranger" or as good as "Forever Red"? Let's look at the Pros and Cons and see which one is stronger and where should it be. (Cut to "Dimensions In Danger" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
One in the pro column is the fact there is actual Ranger interaction between Classic Rangers and New Rangers. Granted the Con is that they share about a fifth of the actual time subtracting the opening and end credits and commercials together. An unexpected Pro without a con is the fact that as it was mentioned earlier Steve Cardenas was unavailable for "Forever Red" due to the fact he didn't forward his new address and Phone Number to the higher ups and I think it was a good thing that he missed out on "Always A Ranger" & "Legendary Battle" because I don't think they could done anything less with Rocky. So I'm glad he was able to rectify missing out on the past Reunion Specials. Another Pro is the fact that we see the old Rangers that we haven't seen but the con is that they take the backseat for a Tommy on Evil Robo-Tommy. Haven't we seen that already a Tommy vs Tommy battle? Anyway let's move on to the Deus Ex Machina of the "Master Morpher". I like the fact it taps into former rangers powers through the Morphing Grid that's the pro. The Con appears to be that the Morpher limited to the former Rangers Powers that the Rangers had. Which means we probably wouldn't see Katherine become the Pterra Yellow Dino Thunder Ranger anytime soon. Also I understand the series is meant to sell toys and this is okay for old school fans like me and possibly newer fans.  The only other thing that I need to talk about is Tommy's Marital Status. He has a son named J.J. who we never see and we're left to believe that Tommy and Kat got married but knowing the Rangers can have normal lives after being Rangers gives schlubs like myself and Rowdy hope that we can get there ourselves. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
So After going through the plot, the pros and cons is it the best one? I'll say this, it's better than the last two big anniversary team ups but is second only to "Forever Red"
(Cut to "Dimensions In Danger" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
It's not that bad as "Always A Ranger" or "Legendary Battle" but I think nothing will ever top "Forever Red" and this time there is no shame in being behind "Forever Red" outside of how amazing it can be. But standing on it's own it's an awesome special showing as many Rangers as their budget would allow. The story was contained enough on it's own to be standalone special as much as it would be a great episode to be a part of the series. The action is well choreographed, the story is good even if it feels shorter than a normal episode even if there is a longer Director's cut of the episode that adds more. If it gets a DVD release then get it and enjoy it. Because despite the ups and downs this franchise has had, the series, the movies and this special is truly Morphinominal!  (Cut to James physically as an annoying cough is heard before cutting to Victor from Ninja Steel played by Chris Reid and Monty from Ninja Steel played by Caleb Bendit standing outside the door of James' office)

Victor:
Excuse me but what about the one big glaring omission from this episode! Me! And to a lesser extent Monty!

Monty:
Yeah, We could've been useful. (Cut to James as he presses a button and the opening of Toccata & Fugue play as it cuts to Victor continuing to Drone as Lightning crashes scaring Victor and Monty as they turn and we cut to see Father Bulkmeier played by Nick Yaun, Rabbi Skullovitch Played by Paulo Fonseca and Sister Kimberly Played by Brenda Fonseca before cutting to Victor and Monty)

Victor:
Is there anything you want Monty to do while I supervise. (Cut to Father Bulkmeier and Sister Kimberly begin to chant in Latin and Rabbi Skullovitch in Hebrew as we cut to Victor and Monty and the earth shaking around them and cracking as it looks like the depths of Hell open up before cutting to Victor and Monty as they scream and fall into the crack before it closes up again then cut to James)

TLOTA:
Thanks! (Cut to Father Bulkmeier, Rabbi Skullovitch and Sister Kimberly as they say "It's alright!" as they walk away before cutting to James) I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans (Audio of the Devil welcoming Victor and Monty into the same level of hell with the Operation Overdrive Power Rangers and Victor and Monty screaming NO!) and That's My Opinion!

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Top 10 H2O: Just Add Water/Mako Mermaid Episodes

(Scene starts with a black screen with white text saying "A few weeks ago" before fading away to Rowdy's campsite in California as "Friends in low places" by Garth Brooks blares in the foreground before cutting to the inside of Rowdy's tent as Rowdy, Garfield, Perkins, Cecil and Sam are wearing hearing protection and Rowdy is pacing back and forth)

Rowdy:
THAT TEARS IT! I USE MY POWER TO REPLACE GARTH BROOKS WITH SOMETHING BETTER, HE BUYS MORE GARTH BROOKS TO REPLACE IT. NOW I'M GOING TO GO FIND THAT SOB, SMASH HIS STEREO AND EVERY SINGLE BIT OF HIS MUSIC TO SMITHEREENS! (Cut to the cats)

Cecil:
AREN'T YOU WORRIED THE LANDLORD WILL THROW US OUT? JUST SAYING EVENTUALLY HE'LL TAKE THE HINT, ESPECIALLY WHEN EVERYONE ELSE FINALLY TOSSES HIM OUT FOR BLASTING IT FOR ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT! (Cut to Rowdy with Baseball Bat in Hand)

Rowdy:
HE TOSSED OUT THE WARNINGS! NOW SOMEONE HAS TO TAKE ACTION! I DON'T WANT TO BUT SOMEONE HAS TO SPEAK FOR US WHO WANT PEACE AND QUIET! IT'S NOT LIKE I'M ASKING FOR A MIRACLE TO FALL OUT OF THE SKY! (A Scream from far away is heard and a ground shaking explosion is heard ending "Friends in low places"  instantly before cutting to Rowdy as he steps outside of the tent and looks around and sees the site with the redneck that blared "Friends in low places" is nothing but a crater as Rowdy looks up) It's not like I'm expecting Alexa Bliss and Becky Lynch to be half naked and fall out of the sky wanting me!! (Cut to the crater as a hand pops out and Steve Kidd comes out gasping for air as Rowdy finds Steve and picks him up) Steve! How did you survive that?

Steve Kidd (Slightly out of it):
No! Go on without me! The needs of the many outweigh APPA! (Steve Kidd collapses before cutting to later on as Steve Kidd has cleaned up and told Rowdy the whole story and Rowdy comes in with a couple of drinks.)

Steve Kidd:
That's what's happened! I got blasted by James' lady friend when she started to get used to her powers and I've been hoping I could fix the mess between her and James.

Rowdy:
Okay, first off, did you have her read Emmalina's Letter to James?

Steve Kidd:
No.

Rowdy:
Did you have something to do with her gaining her powers?

Steve Kidd:
No, but if I had any sense I would've grabbed her and forced her not to leave!

Rowdy:
And then things would've been worse, look James kept me apprised of the events, so listen to me when I say this, GO HOME! You're not helping James. If James asked you to leave well enough alone, it could be that James had a reason! (A Loud Explosion rocks Rowdy's site and shakes Steve and Rowdy out of frame before cutting to Rowdy in his battle gear before zooming to a very angry Chai Hansen)

Chai:
Take me to him! (Cut to a very confused Rowdy)

Rowdy:
If you want Steve because he said or did something stupid to you need to get in line, it's right next to the line of people with Pitchforks and Torches that want to roast me for so much crap I did on TV Trash! (Cut to Chai)

Chai:
You know who I am talking about! (Cut to Rowdy as Steve Kidd hobbles out of the tent)

Steve Kidd:
You'll have to go through me!

Rowdy:
Steve get back inside!

Steve Kidd:
No, I know who he is and what he wants and he'll have to kill us before we spill about (Rowdy's Cell Phone goes off) Dude, I still can't believe that you have that as your ring tone ! (The phone force flies into Chai's hands as Rowdy shouts "GET HIM!" The two run as it cuts to Chai as he stops them dead cold and lifts the two of them and suspends them in mid air then answers Rowdy's phone in Rowdy's voice)

Chai (voiced by Rowdy):
Hello! (Cut to James in his office)

TLOTA:
Rowdy, just in case you've become too Hollywood since you've been out there for a year, it's your old pal James Faraci The Last Of The Americans. (Cut to Chai as he has Rowdy and Steve frozen and in mid-air)

Chai (voiced by Rowdy):
You're a funny guy James. So what's on your mind. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Well, I was wondering if you heard from Steve yet? (Cut to Chai as he has Rowdy and Steve frozen and in mid-air)

Chai (voiced by Rowdy):
No, but if I find him I'll let you know and just in case I do find him would you mind sending me your address? (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Dude, it's in the phone already. Just look in the Addresses on your phone, You've been to the place before. (Cut to Chai as he has Rowdy and Steve frozen and in mid-air as he looks on the phone)

Chai (voiced by Rowdy):
Well, how about that? Thanks James, I'll be seeing you real soon! (Cut to James)


TLOTA:
Awesome and if you see Steve... You know.
(Cut to Chai as he has Rowdy and Steve frozen and in mid-air as he looks on the phone)

Chai (voiced by Rowdy):
You got it! Catch ya later! (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Later! (James hangs up before cutting to Chai as he drops Steve and Rowdy and tosses Rowdy's Phone back to him)

Chai:
Well, looks like I got a date in Sullivan County New York! (Chai raises his hand and a blast of water  turns into a wave and Chai jumps up to the top of the wave and moves away before cutting to Rowdy and Steve)

Steve Kidd:
I've got to head back, have Jeannie get me back to James before he can!

Rowdy:
Listen to me...

Steve Kidd:
NO DAMNIT! I made a big mistake heading out to do this journey, now it's up to me to save James again this time from my mistake but first, I've got to get people to help. Maybe...Just maybe.

(Steve starts to hobble out before Rowdy grumbles "Can't believe I'm doing this" before cutting to a Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 then cut to James jumping down a cliff from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci landing and fully morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans basic mode with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with the American flag design on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Black Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James fighting alongside the 2017 Power Rangers Movie Power Rangers at the 0:13 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:14-0:17 show Rebecca Yaun as Wonder Woman  and Nick Yaun as Steve Trevor charging the screen before cutting to John and Mike Santos peeling out in The DeLorean From “Back To The Future” before cutting to the 0:17-0:19 mark as it shows Paulo & Brenda Fonseca taking a joyride in KITT from “Knight Rider” in Super Pursuit Mode before cutting to the 0:20-0:28 mark as we see Eric Kurtzke, Ed Champion and Andrew Beach flying the USS Enterprise from “Star Trek” (2009) and Olivia Horvath flying The Orville as it cuts to the 0:28 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James stands on top of his Time and Space device and tosses his sonic screwdriver then cuts over to multiple clips from the past five years of “The Last Of The Americans” reviews as the Sonic Screwdriver flips end over end as the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses on a black background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to a black screen with the words "RIGHT NOW!" on the screen before fading to James as he sits and looks out the window as a War Haka is being chanted before cutting to Rebecca and Nick Yaun come in.)

Rebecca Yaun:
James, you seeing... (Cut to James looking out of the window sill)


TLOTA:
Chai Hansen from "Mako Mermaids" doing a War Haka outside the studio? Yep (Cut to Chai doing a War Haka outside of James' studio before cutting to Rebecca, Nick and James)


Rebecca Yaun:

Should we do something


TLOTA:
Hmm? Oh yeah you guys prepare if you want. Me, I'm gonna relax, let him get this out of his system and if he does attack, I'll worry! (A Loud Explosion rocks the studio) OKAY Now, I'm worried! (Another Loud Explosion rocks the studio as it cuts to Chai as he prepares another concussive water blast when a sonic sound emits off screen that destabilizes the water and soaks him)

TLOTA (Audio only):

Maybe that'll cool you off! (Cut to James.)

TLOTA:
Now if you can, let's talk about what is wrong between us like rational, reasonable adults or you can go right ahead and attack each other like we were Ren & Stimpy!  (Cut to Chai)

Chai:
You've dishonored the franchise I was a part of with your honesty and now I shall reclaim the honor you have dishonored by dishonorably dishonor you with my honorable honor! (Chai places his right arm out as he summons The Trident from Mako Mermaids)
Recognize it? You should! The same Trident! Anything to say before you meet your fate, Faraci! (A voice off screen says "Well, I've got one thing to say.... "HONOR!" is shouted, before cutting to James as he ducks and a gigantic fireball is thrown and Chai is sent flying before cutting to James who then turns to see Dante Basco from such projects like "Avatar: The Last Airbender" and "Hook" comes in all decked out in full on out Zuko gear before cutting to James)

TLOTA:
DANTE BASCO?! (Cut to Dante as he walks towards James)

Dante Basco:
James' honor comes from his honesty! To lie would be a dishonor. His honest and honorable words are why you are out of line Chai and why you must be stopped! (Cut to Chai as he lands and shakes off the fireball.)

Chai:
Silly Firebender, WATER SMOTHERS FIRE! (A Gigantic water ball is set to launch when the water ball is sent upwards and comes down as gentle rain before cutting to James and Dante)

TLOTA:
Wow, who did that?

Dante Basco:
A friend. (Cut to Chai as he prepares another water ball when he starts to do self slapstick!)

Chai:
Whatever you're doing Basco, you better stop! (Cut to James and Dante)

Dante Basco:
I'm not doing anything! She is. (Dante moves slightly to his right to see a fully decked out Mae Whitman as Katara performing the bloodbending techniques as the look of "Pants Darkened to Black" comes to James, Dante and Chai as Chai continues to smack the daylights out of himself in the background)

TLOTA:
Uh Mae, it's not that I'm not grateful you're helping, I'm just gonna ask you nicely to let him go before you twist him like a pretzel. (Cut to Mae Whitman as she lets Chai go)

Mae Whitman (Sweetly):
Okay. (Cut to Chai as falls then shakes the cobwebs out of himself)

Chai:
I don't know why you two are siding but you shall join James in his fate. (Cut to James, Dante and Mae)

Dante Basco:
You know, that's not a bad idea. Mae when I say Honor hit the flame with everything you've got! 

Mae Whitman:
You got it Dante! (Dante prepares to ignite and Mae begins to draw water from the air as does Chai and Dante shouts "HONOR" as the three connect as a thick fog is made and James emerges from the fog grabbing Chai and groaning like Curly from The Three Stooges, eye pokes Chai and runs away to his ride and drives out of there before cutting to James in his ride)

TLOTA:
What in the hell did I say or do? (Cut to clips of both H2O & Mako as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
I didn't hate "H2O: Just Add Water" or "Mako Mermaids", I made it clear when I talked about the series last summer in the retrospective. There was a lot to like. Some of it was just straight up fun and some of it was very thought provoking and entertaining. There were enjoyable episodes in both series and since I might as well talk about some of my favorite episodes. Five from "H2O" and Five from "Mako" and as is the way with these lists the spoilers will happen. (A knocking sound is heard before cutting to James in his ride before looking at the rear mirror to see Chai charges up a massive water ball before cutting to James)


TLOTA:

This can't be good! (Cut to the water ball hitting the back bumper of James' ride as it zooms away and James screams)

TLOTA (Audio only):
THESE ARE THE TOP TEN EPISODES OF "H2O: JUST ADD WATER" & "MAKO MERMAIDS"! (Cut to shots of three teenage girls from "H2O: Just Add water" as they dive into the water as the scene changes to the Moon Pool on Mako Island as the three teenage girls come up as mermaids before cutting to three teenage mermaids and Zac Blakely falling into the Moon Pool from "Mako Mermaids" before cutting to Zac Blakely of "Mako Mermaids" in his merman form before cutting to clips from both series before cutting to an image of an island and a pod of mermaids outside of Mako Island as it cuts to James in a lounge chair and the words "Top Ten H2O:Just Add Water/Mako Mermaids Episodes" while the theme songs from both series play in the foreground before the words fade and the number appears as James does a voiceover)


TLOTA (Voiceover): Number ten  


(Cut to clips of "Fish Fever as James does a voiceover)

10) Fish Fever from season 2 of "H2O: Just Add Water"



TLOTA (Voiceover):
What can I say this was just one of those fun episodes that I enjoy as a Guilty Pleasure. Emma played by Claire Holt cuts her finger on a strange type of coral which also affects the fish owned by Cleo played by Phoebe Tonkin and it's up to Lewis played by Angus McLaren to come up with the cure for what was happening to both Cleo's fish and Emma. What I liked about it was how Claire Holt as it was affecting her more and more how more fish like her character became almost as if Claire was method acting and if that was the case then She deserves the career she's had. However what dragged the episode was when Charlotte played by Brittany Byrnes started to show signs of the Jealousy that'd cost her a lot by the end of the second season. But we'll get into it later on this list.



(Cut to James in a lounge chair and the number appears as James does a voiceover)


TLOTA (Voiceover):

Number nine

(Cut to clips of "Betrayal" as James does a voiceover)



9) "Betrayal" from season one of "Mako Mermaids"

TLOTA (Voiceover):

With another full moon arriving Zac played by Chai Hansen continues his journey to the trident. In the midst of his attempts to do so Nixie played by Ivy Latimer allows the moon to hit Zac upsetting Sirena played by Amy Ruffle and Lyla played by Lucy Fry. But just as upsetting for Zac was him discovering that his Principal's nieces are in fact Mermaids and believing they're out to stop him and or do worse. This episode was the one every fan saw coming but not in the way they thought it would end. What made this episode amazing the pacing, knowing that eventually the truth would come out and when it did, the results were not good by any means. But this would be where Zac's journey would be changed for the first time.



(Cut to James in a lounge chair and the number appears as James does a voiceover)


TLOTA (Voiceover):

Number Eight

(Cut to Clips of "The Gracie Code" Parts one and two as James does a voiceover)



8) The Gracie Code Parts One and Two from season two of "H2O: Just Add Water"


(Cut to James in a lounge chair and the number appears as James does a voiceover)


TLOTA (Voiceover):
Expanding the mythos of the Island this two parter showed an earlier point in time when a group of three girls much like Rikki, Emma and Cleo, one of whom is named Gracie and another one who tried to be a mentor to Rikki, Emma and Cleo during her tenure on the show and it turns out Gracie is Charlotte's Grandmother. So now the three are now out to find out how much Charlotte knows as well as kickstart Charlotte's development into high gear because for the most part she was a minor character and led her to become the character she did by the end of the season.



TLOTA (Voiceover):

Number Seven
(Cut to clips of "The Trident Job" as James does a voiceover)

7) "The Trident Job" from Mako Mermaids Season One


TLOTA (Voiceover):
This was just an amazing episode. As Zac and Cam take an opportunity to get the trident it just so happens to fall on Halloween and as the two are going to a party that's being hosted by Evie played by Gemma Forsyth and Nixie, Lyla and Sirena are going there to help serve food and keep an eye on Zac. In what can be considered "Oceans Eleven" levels of con-artistry does Zac get the Trident but he also fools the tails off of the mermaids. The reason it's on this list is because of the great way it was able to show Zac being able to outwit those he considered to be against him and with the trident in play the situation has gotten worse for the three.




(Cut to James in a lounge chair and the number appears as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number six
(Cut to clips of "A Date With Destiny" and "Graduation"  as James does a voiceover)

6) "A Date With Destiny" and "Graduation" from "H2O: Just Add Water" season 3

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Season 3 of "H2O: Just Add Water" has a reputation of being the most haphazardly written but all things considered these two episodes weren't the worst but as a finale to this franchise, I think it did it justice. While I would've liked to see Emma played by Claire Holt return to help but she was busy and I understand. A comet is about to hit the Island destroying it and subsequently the world and it is up to these three mermaids with their powers to charge the moon pool to stop the comet of course. What put this one on the list was seeing how far Cleo played by Phoebe Tonkin and Rikki played by Cariba Heine came from in the pilot. This is what happens when you allow the chance to see where they have grown into. These two episodes remain the best of season three and possibly some of the best of the series.

(Cut to James' ride as it comes to a screeching halt in the parking lot of the Wal-Mart in Monticello NY then cutting to James inside his ride as he looks in the rear view as it cuts to the rear view showing Chai coming quickly)

TLOTA (Audio only):
Damn that guy is tenacious! (Cut to James as he exits the vehicle as it cuts to the produce department where in the background a guy played by Steve Kidd is enjoying the cabbage section a little too much as James runs past he stops, walks back, looks and tries to shake the image out of his head and then runs as Chai comes in there sees the guy enjoying the cabbage and his eyes bug out of his head as it cuts to James as he confronts Chai in the bottled water department)

TLOTA:
Okay you Maori Keanu Reeves try some of my water bending! (James starts to chuck every bottle of water at Chai as he pulls the water out of the bottles before cutting to James) OH CANADA! (Cut to the Cabbage guy fondling a head and nearing orgasm as he sniffs one as a very loud scream by James is heard just as the Cabbage guy sees and grabs as many cabbages as he can before running for his life and James demolishes the Cabbage section)

Cabbage guy (Played by Steve Kidd):
MY CABBAGES! This place is worse than the Whole Foods! (Cut to James as he shatters a hole through his site, through Manic-Expression.com and several other sites before being stopped by Deadpool in the middle of a video)

TLOTA:
Thanks Deadpool! (James turns around as he inspects the damage and sees a very pissed off Chai coming his way before cutting to James and Deadpool)

Deadpool:
He looks PISSED! Good luck pal! I'm outta here! (Deadpool runs away quickly as James looks at the video he lands in and sees the title of it being the first episode of Season 4 of "Life As A Mermaid")

TLOTA:
Really great episode. (Audio of Beatrice and Will in the background as James bumps into Will played by Nick Slimmer and Beatrice played by Fleur Zanna)

Will:
Hi there you wouldn't have happened to see a Seashell with a mirror on the bottom of it?

TLOTA:
I think it's over there. (The three look to James' right.)

Beatrice:
Oh yeah, there it is. (The three grab it as the message starts to play as the sea cops be their incompetent selves.)

TLOTA:
Oh Goodie, you three!

Chief Splurt:
You've got something to say human?

TLOTA:
No, but it seems to me, you three seem to have your usual lack of wits about you.

Chief Splurt:
What exactly are you saying?

TLOTA:
I'm saying you three stooges couldn't find the Atlantic Ocean, IF YOU FELL OUT OF A BOAT 12 NAUTICAL MILES OUTSIDE OF THE NEW YORK HARBOR! (The Sea Cops and James argue for a good half minute when a water ball tosses the four of them as the Mirror lands in Will's hands!)

Will:
Time for me to run?

Beatrice:
I would if I were in your shoes! (Will runs off as "Black Monolith" by Shockwave Sound plays in the foreground as it cuts to a very angry Chai before cutting to James and the Sea Cops)

TLOTA:
He's using Mer-Magic without a permit! That's a biggie!

Chief Splurt:
You stay here, We'll arrest you later. Let's get 'em! (The Sea cops run off and get beaten DOWN off screen as James opens up his morpher and puts in a code)

TLOTA:
Thank goodness I updated this sucker! (James Closes the morpher) BATTLE MODE! (James morphs into his Battle mode featuring The Ring Of Aeon, The Sword Of Caliverti and The Gem from The Gauntlet "Malachite's Hand" as he deflects shot after shot with the Ring and Gem before pulling out the sword absorbing the magic from the trident.)

Beatrice:
Excuse me but if you take on too much you'll destroy yourself.

TLOTA:
Not if I redirect the magic to hit on the commercial tab after he's out of power.  (James absorbs the last drop of magic from the trident as Chai lands on his backside, James aims for the commercial tab) HIT THE DIRT! (The sword hits the commercial tab before fading to black before cutting to the continuance point after the commercial as it shows Will having just come back as Nat, Liam and Stanley ask their questions and Will answers them before a splash is heard.)

Nat:
What The Hell?

Liam:
Was that? (Cut to Chai as he emerges from the water before cutting to Nat, Liam and Stanley)

Stanley:
Hi, How can we help? (Cut to Chai as he emerges from the water and walks up to Will)

Chai:
You wouldn't happen to seen a guy with an American flag shirt, about (describes James height) Yea Tall? (Cut to the others as they nod as to say no before cutting back to Chai as he stands next to Will) Really because those footprints over there look like the soles of James' boots. Which means he's over there! (Chai runs in that direction before we see James disengage a stealth mode that he was in and James running to the hole in the video he made running while going through several different sites including one that claims to be "Awesome" as James alleviates himself on said site as someone called a "Critic" cries about drowning in piss before James continues to run eventually running towards Chai again when he looks and sees that he's arrived earlier in the review before running away from the review again and into an Instagram photo where he disguises himself as part of the scenery as Chai runs past the pic before cutting to James as takes off his disguise)

TLOTA:
Okay, let's get through this quickly! NUMBER FIVE!

(Cut to James in a lounge chair and the number appears before cutting to clips of "Reunion" & "A New Man" as James does a voiceover)

5) Reunion & A New Man from season 2 of Mako Mermaids


TLOTA (Voiceover):
In these two episodes everything changed for Zac. First off while trying to further learn about the merman chamber on the Island, A secret is revealed. (Cut to clip where Zac learns about his true familiar bonds between him and Mimmi and who his biological mother before continuing on with the rest of the clips) WOW! How does one cope with that? Do they give into their primal aggression? Do they try to forget their past? How does someone get over the fact their whole life was in essence a lie? Well as "A New Man" showed Zac was trying to figure out who he is. Is he the threat the pod fears? Is he the guy he was before he got his tail and powers? Well for Zac it'd be easier if he didn't have these trolls that taunted him about not being a part of the junior lifeguard force but before Zac does give into the dark side his sister and Evie remind him that he is not any of the negative things everyone has been saying about him. In fact by the end of "A New Man" Zac is just that, A new man, he has made peace with himself, he knows he's not the threat the pod should worry about, he's not a monster. At the end of the day, He's Zac Blakely and at the end of the day, that is who he should be and he'll prove that being Zac is the best thing he can be.


(Cut to James in a lounge chair and the number appears as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number four
(Cut to clips of  "Metamorphosis" as James does a voiceover)

4) Metamorphosis from "H2O: Just Add Water Season 1"

TLOTA (Voiceover):
What can be said that hasn't been said. It kickstarted an entire universe. It was a career starter for both Claire Holt & Phoebe Tonkin. It was the first show I saw through streaming services. This is just amazing. They had to introduce the characters that would go through the most and least development and start a mythos and see if it would work. Surprisingly with everything it had going for it, the series could've failed miserably but it succeeded and the proof is in how a concept this ridiculous could work. An amazing world starter short of a Big Bang! (Cut to the intro of "The Big Bang Theory" before the mid-point as James shouts "GOD NO! NOT THAT BIG BANG!" before cutting to James in a lounge chair and the number appears as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Number three
(Cut to clips of "Meeting Rita" as James does a voiceover)



3) "Meeting Rita" from Season One of "Mako Mermaids"

TLOTA (Voiceover):

To Me, this episode was essential, it gave our heroines a reluctant mentor who we learn left the pod when she fell in love with a human who sadly died before Rita and her fiancée could make it down the aisle. Plus this gave Nixie, Lyla and Sirena a base to work out of to get rid of Zac's tail and powers as well as a place for Nixie, Lyla and Sirena to learn how to harness their powers from Rita whether she wanted them in her life or not! Thankfully as the first season goes on we see her warm up to the three eventually Rita considers them her family and vice versa. This was what made "Mako Mermaids" a step up from it's predecessor. Someone who knows what certain things are like in a world they know little of and a friendly ear to hear them and give the right advice to them. So in a way this was so good it is essential.


(Cut to James in a lounge chair and the number appears as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

Number two

2) "Unfathomable" from "H2O: Just Add Water" Season Two

TLOTA (Voiceover):
This is where Rikki, Emma and Cleo stepped up, learned from their predecessors and made Charlotte understand who the true Alpha Females on the Island are and she ain't it! While the season built the history of the island as well as the advancement of the powers of Rikki, Emma and Cleo, it also showed that they're willing to do what is necessary to stop anyone or anything to protect the island and those who would do harm to it. Also it was nice to see Emma open up that she is a mermaid to Ash and to be honest, I understand what this series means to everyone and how impressive the series is.

(Cut to James in a lounge chair and the number appears as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): And the number one episode IS...

1)The Trident Stone and The Chosen One from Mako Mermaids Season 2

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Say what you want about these two episodes but to me this is where everything was wrapped up and where the series SHOULD'VE ended. Great Character development, great story telling and great action. We see how after two seasons how everyone had grown and matured. Cam played by Dominic Deutcher had developed enough of a loyalty to Zac and the Mermaids to return the trident stone to the mermaids and enough of a relationship with Carly played by Brooke Lee as to when she discovered their secret a few episodes prior to try and stop Erik played by Alex Cubis. Plus the fact Evie was able avoiding whatever magic that was draining the life out of every other mermaid was something interesting and the fact she helped Zac stop Erik once and for all and helped the pod return to Mako Island was so awesome she received a moon ring and honorary membership into the pod. Not a bad way to end this list all things considered (Cut to clips of both series as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
If you're wondering about what I think of both series in full honesty just find "My Mako Adventure: Just Add Water" and you'll get all my honesty on both series. Also if I missed one of your favorite episodes then let me have it in the comment section below.

Chai Hansen (Voiceover):
Bad choice of words there mate, but if you insist, I'll let you have it!

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Huh? (Cut to an overhead shot of the volcano on Mako Island as a thunderous upper cut is heard as is a scream as a small image of James which becomes bigger as he comes flying out of the opening of the volcano before cutting to a close-up of James' face as a hand touches James' face)

Julia Alexa Miller (Audio only):
James you can relax now! (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller as he holds James in mid air and then helping James gently land on his feet.)

TLOTA:
Alex, I'm always glad to see you, but right now is not a good time.

Julia Alexa Miller:
Why?(A whoosh is heard as Chai flips over James and Julia Alexa Miller landing over the two before cutting back to a slightly dampened James and Julia Alexa Miller.) I take it, that's why!

TLOTA:
Yep! (Cut to Chai Hansen)

Chai Hansen:
You better leave here unless you want to share his fate. (Cut to James and Julia Alexa Miller as Julia Alexa Miller's eyes turn white.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
I've been learning how to control what happened to me all summer long. Now would be the wrong time to get on my bad side! (Cut to Chai as he prepares a water ball before cutting to Julia Alexa Miller as she throws an energy wave that knocks Chai into the main lobby before cutting to James as he makes a mad dash getting Emmalina's Amulet before cutting to Chai and Julia Alexa Miller's battle spilling out into the driveway as Julia Alexa Miller gets knocked into James before cutting to Chai as he prepares the biggest Water ball ever before cutting to James and Julia Alexa Miller as he hands her Emmalina's Amulet)

Chai (Audio only):
Prepare to go as you called it "The Immortal Sea"! (Julia Alexa Miller speaks in an unknown tongue as light encapsulates her before seeing the Water Ball disintegrate into harmless steam before cutting to a realm of pure light as James, Chai and Julia Alexa Miller reside.)

A Voice (Off screen performed by Julia Alexa Miller):
You all made it.

Chai Hansen:
Who said that?

TLOTA:
I know who, Emmalina is that you? (Cut to dust as it takes form of Emmalina played by Julia Alexa Miller)

Emmalina:
About time you came back James. (Cut to James and Julia Alexa Miller)

TLOTA:
What can I say, if I was gonna do something right, I take the time. (Julia Alexa Miller comes face to face with Emmalina and touches her to see that she is real as "Trenzalore" by Murray Gold plays in the foreground)

Julia Alexa Miller:
Do you know what I had to do to stop myself from thinking I was insane? I tried meditation, I tried to push the moment out of my mind, I did every healthy thing possible short of being committed in hopes of trying to figure out if you or I were in the driver's seat. (Cut to Emmalina)

Emmalina:
You were always in the driver's seat as it were, I just passed on everything that I had been, all that I would've been and anything that I could've been onto you. It's up to you how you control it.

TLOTA:
Wait, by "everything" you mean... (James does an undulation motion before cutting to Emmalina)

Emmalina:
That too.

Julia Alexa Miller:
Wait does this (Repeats James' undulation motion) mean what I think it does.

Emmalina:
It's up to you if and when you want it happen or not.

Julia Alexa Miller:
Oh Fantastic! Absolutely Fantastic, anything else you want to throw my way?

Emmalina:
Knowledge. Knowledge of what you can do and what you will be able to do.

Julia Alexa Miller:
What about James and our current situation.

Emmalina:
That is something he must decide upon returning. Now as for you... (Cuts to Chai as he looks around then points at himself and says "Me?" before cutting back to Emmalina) Yes, you. It's time for you to learn where James comes from with his thoughts and how you dishonored everything you worked for. (Emmalina walks over to Chai and speaks a foreign tongue and Chai's eyes turn white before his head shakes seeing normally)

Chai:
Oh WOW, James I now realized, I'm sorry.

TLOTA:
I know.

Chai:
But I have to ask Why did you compare me to Tommy Wiseau and Keanu Reeves?

TLOTA:
Wait, that was this whole rigmarole was about? I said that whole "Tommy Wiseau" bit as a joke as to where he called Zac up to be Johnny in a remake of The Room because Zac's face didn't show the concern or shock anyone else would've. As for the Keanu Reeves remark, take it as a compliment. The dude ages like Fine wine like his acting.

Chai:
I guess after hearing that, everything you said sounds better. Apologies?

TLOTA:
We're good! (The Two shake hands before cutting to Emmalina as "Infinite Possibilities" play in the foreground as the dimension starts to become unstable) What's going on?

Emmalina:
The time has come for you to move on and know things will be better for everyone. Especially you James. I will love you but you must move on. Farewell James (Cut to Emmalina disintegrates as James cries before Julia Alexa Miller walks over to him.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
It's not farewell, it's just, "I'm Moving On"
(The two embrace romantically as a bright lights breaks the barrier as it cuts to the interior of James' main lobby.) The lobby, How? What? (Cut to an off screen voice saying "Jail" before cutting to the interior door to the see the Sea Cops)

Chief Splurt:
All right, you're all under arrest on... (Audio of a group of People shouting "SHUT UP!" before cutting to the back door to the prop room as every Power Ranger and Steve Kidd appear.)


Steve Kidd:
Okay Chai! Get ready to suffer a worse fate than being in "Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments" (Cut to Chai, James and Julia Alexa Miller)

TLOTA:
Steve, things between me and Chai are cool now. (Cut to the Sea Cops)

Chief Splurt:
Well now we can add bringing in the Power Rangers to the ever growing list of charges we'll be arresting you on. (Cut to the Power Rangers and Steve Kidd)


Steve Kidd:
Coming from the Ocean Equivalent of The Three Stooges?  You three sea slugs couldn't find the Dead Sea on a map! (Everyone starts arguing for a good minute before Julia Alexa Miller shouts a ground shaking "ENOUGH!" as it cuts to the Power Rangers and Steve Kidd starting to get back on their feet and Julia walks to them)

Julia Alexa Miller:
Look, if James does a mini-review of your 25th anniversary special will that make up for Steve's mistake?

The Power Rangers (In Unison):
Okay.

Julia Alexa Miller:
Good, Steve stay there. Rangers, head on out through the secondary exit way. (The Power Rangers run out before cutting to the Sea Cops.) Let the objection of your fear become real as I summon the image to appear!  (A blast of light flashes as the Sea Cops take a step back)

Chief Splurt:
Holy Carp! It's Commissioner Claw! (Cut to Chai, James, Julia and Steve looking around before cutting back to the Sea Cops) Right next to the girl who said that rhyme? (Cut to Chai, James, Julia and Steve as James and Steve go behind to confer as Julia shows James that it's Steve before cutting back to the Sea Cops) Alright let's make this arrest look the best. (Cut to Steve as he walks towards the Sea Cops)

Steve Kidd:
YOU THREE MANHATTAN CLAM CHOWDERHEADS! (Steve smacks Chief Splurt) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Chief Splurt:
What does it look like Commissioner? We're arresting these humans on a list of charges including using Mer-Magic without a permit! (Steve Kidd gut punches then punches Chief Splurt to straighten him out.)

Steve Kidd:
I OUGHT TO TAKE YOU IN FOR IMPERSONATION OF REAL SEA COPS YOU SEA TURTLE HEADS! (Steve slaps all three Sea Cops) DIDN'T YOU KNOW I DEPUTIZED THEM AND BEATRICE BISCANIAN TO HELP IN THE RESCUE OF MADISON AND VALERIE NEPSHANK AS WELL AS WILL HAUSER AND HIS ASSOCIATES?! (Steve makes a fist and smacks it in a circular motion and clocks Chief Splurt in the noggin)

Chief Splurt:
Well now we do, the hard way. Is there anything we can do to make this up?

Steve Kidd:
Yes there is, you three void all arrests in association in this case with the exception of one Ronan the Selkie, Jed and Will Hauser's father and if you're lucky I WON'T BUST YOU SO FAR DOWN YOU'LL BE DOING UNDERSEA METER MERMAID DUTY FOR THE REST OF YOUR TIME IN SERVICE OF THE FORCE! (Steve Kidd Eye pokes Chief Splurt, Ratchet twists the ears on the Sea Cop on his left and nose smacks the Sea Cop on the right) NOW GET OUT OF HERE!  (Cut to the Sea Cops)

Chief Splurt:
You heard him! Let's get out of here! (All three whoop-whoop like Zoidberg and Curly before cutting to Chai, James and Julia)

TLOTA:
Can you believe that it's just an ordinary Tuesday here? (Cut to black before fading to later as James helps everyone head on out except Olivia Horvath who waits for James in his office.)

TLOTA:
Hey Liv, what's up? (Cut to Olivia Horvath as she looks at some of James's photos of his past.)

Olivia Horvath:
Ever since that premiere I've been seeing things I never thought I'd see. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Including seeing Lea Michele one more time. It felt odd. (Cut to Olivia Horvath as she walks towards James)

Olivia Horvath:
That's something I need to talk about. When I bumped into her, I saw things I never saw. So tell me, what happened and why did you what you did and I want the truth.

TLOTA:
The Truth is when I met her, it was just after Cory Monteith passed away a friend of mine named Ed. Not the Ed we know got me into contacting her. I gave her my motto of "Don't Let The Bastards Grind You Down" and then we talked like friends and we met just as Nash, Linkara and Film Brain wanted my copy of "The Death Of The Incredible Hulk" for a review. Me and Lea Joined her. She asked me and Rowdy to join her in a Karaoke Party on Halloween, then came the moment I lost my past and had to deal with demons inside. She helped me through it. I soon got this Studio thanks to Rebecca and her .Real Estate magic, then came the moment I had to do something that remains a scar that'll never heal. 2015 remains the roughest year of my existence. I was doing reviews, not worrying about a thing when one of three events happened I'll never be sure one event was caused when some of Rowdy's dimensional tech went screwy and I sent John, Mike, Renee and Eric down to Texas to assist to fix and Find Rowdy only to have the Government shut me down and then in a few years time it's Judgement Day "X-Men Days Of Future Past" Style and for the Nostalgia Critic (SPITS) to wind up in Hyper Fan Girl-Boner to let us know before the Government shuts me down and destroys the studio and there's this Paradox Rift threatening all of reality. Over the past few years it has receded so it won't cause any damage but the cost was some pretty big moments in history. I had to stop a moment in which I did what I had to do to save three lives. Emmalina's, Mary Queen Of Scots and Lea Michele's and it cost me so much in return. That opening night, Lea said something that shook me to the core. (Cut back to the Opening night as James and Lea hug)

Lea Michele (Whispering):
I remember it all James, all the memories of you and I. I'll never forget you ever again.

TLOTA (Whispering):
I never forgot. I never stopped loving you.

Lea Michele (Whispering):
I finally got someone as amazing as you. How about you?

TLOTA (Whispering):
I'm on my way, I can feel it.

Lea Michele (Whispering):
I hope you find her and make her as happy as I was when I was with you. I love you James, now we must move on. Goodbye. (Lea Michele walks away)

TLOTA (Whispering):
Goodbye (Cut back to James and Olivia Horvath)

Olivia Horvath:
So it was more than simply "Break A Leg". Look James, you've been putting so much on yourself. You move on. Move past Emmalina, Move past Lea Michele and see what you have in front of you right now and don't screw it up.

TLOTA:
Thanks for the advice. (James and Olivia Hug) Thanks for being such an amazing friend especially for this long.

Olivia Horvath:
Just remember what I said. See you next month?

TLOTA:
Yeah, sure and take Steve with you! (Cut to Olivia Horvath as she walks away)

Olivia Horvath:
You got it James! STEVE! (Olivia walks out the door just as Julia Alexa Miller walks in.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
Hey James, I figure I'd give you something to review this October. (Julia Alexa Miller places the YouTube Page for "WitchHaven" on James' desk)

TLOTA:
Thanks

Julia Alexa Miller:
Before I forget, I wanted to... (James puts his hand up just as Julia Alexa Miller is about to take off Emmalina's Amulet )

TLOTA:
Keep it. As a matter of fact there's something I've been meaning to tell you. (James pulls out his morpher and takes out his card, De-Morphing back to James Faraci and Deliberate Thought by Kevin MacLeod plays in the foreground)

James Faraci:
Alex, I've never had the best luck in women or anything in that matter. Always one thing or another but not this time. When I saw you for the first time, I had an interest that was personal, more than my normal standards.

Julia Alexa Miller:
I don't understand, James are you saying what I think you are?

James Faraci:
Yes, I am. Julia Alexa Miller I...(Julia Alexa Miller puts her hand over James' lips)

Julia Alexa Miller:
I already knew, just by the look in your eyes and I feel the same way. (Julia puts her hand down and James kisses Julia on the lips romantically)

James Faraci:
Thank you for being the best thing to happen to me, Julia Alexa Miller.

Julia Alexa Miller:
Thank you for being you James Benjamin Faraci. (The two continue to kiss as it fades to black)